Starlight and Robbie Rotten Have A Communist Experience
Ponyville had always been home to creatures of different shapes, sizes and backgrounds, although most of the residents were ponies. Most of them had to be, can't have a place not filled with ponies be called Ponyville after all, that would just be ~~fucking retarded~~ silly. However, on this day there was a very strange creature manning an ice cream stand, a creature the likes of Equestria had never seen before.
It just so happens that our ~~hated~~ favourite purple pony was walking through the same market that this creature had set up shop. No it's not Twilight you ~~stupid~~ silly goose, its Starlight Glimmer, out and about on a nice sunny day.
As she walked closer and closer to the area in which this strange creature was working, she noticed many of the town's residents were trying to avoid something. Starlight picked up the pace to see what had gotten everyone so nervous.
After a few moments, she heard an unfamiliar voice call out to her. "You there! The purple unicorn! Would you perhaps be interested in an ice cream?!" The creature called out in an energetic and enthusiastic voice.
Starlight turned to the creature and raised a brow. It appeared to be some kind of tall, bipedal, hairless monkey wearing striped purple clothing with slick black hair and a slightly hunched back. He also seemed to be wearing a fake twirly moustache and some sort of hat that resembled those that she had seen in photographs of military officers. Walking up to his ice cream stand, Starlight looked over the flavours.
"Um, sure, I'll take a scoop of mint please." She answered with a smile.
"Alright, coming right up." The creature laughed as he prepared her cone.
Starlight took the cone in her magic and gave the treat a lick, it was the best mint ice cream she had ever tasted. "Wow! This is delicious! How much do I owe you?"
"Nothing, it's for free." The creature said with a grin.
"Free?" Starlight asked looking at the treat. "But why?"
"Because of communism!" The creature exclaimed with pride and joy, causing many ponies around to walk further away or go on a rant about politics to their friends and family.
"What's communism?" Starlight asked with wonder filled curiosity.
The creature gasped dramatically and leaned forward with a shocked expression. "You don't know about communism?" He asked in a low voice.
"Afraid not, can you teach me?" Starlight asked with hopeful eyes.
"Why gladly my dear purple pony!" The creature exclaimed as he scooped her up and held her under his arm. "Everyone is welcome in communism! Hahaha! Except for the gays and capitalist pigs..." He muttered in a low dark tone before he began skipping towrads the edge of town. "My apologies my colourful comrade, I didn't introduce myself, I am General Robbie Rotten! What is your name?" He asked as he bounded down the dirt road.
"Oh, I'm Starlight Glimmer, nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too! Now, let us go! A wonderous communist adventure awaits!" Robbie yelled as he clenched his ass cheeks and leapt high into the air, placing Starlight on his back and spreading his arms out like an aeroplane, his moustache spinning like propellers as they soared through the sky. "You see Starlight, communism is a wonderful ideology where everyone is equal and everything is shared, no one pays for anything! We all share our food, our shelter, our clothes, everything! No one is better than anyone else! Except for our glorious leader, Joseph Stallion in Stalliongrad!"
"That's a...weird name for a pony."
"This coming from the pony who's name is just a different version of her mentors." Robbie muttered as he weaved around a group of clouds.
"What was that?"
"Nothing! Now, look down, what do you see?"
Starlight looked down and saw the streets of Canterlot. "It's just Canterlot."
"Yes! The filthy capitalist city! All the rich pigs spend their money on fancy clothes they wear once, or tiny meals that they never eat! It's just one big contest of who has more money! It's a disgrace!" Robbie exclaimed in fury. "How can these lazy, gossiping ponies have so much more than the farmers, the miners, the doctors and the simple shop owner, who all work hard for their country be receive so little?! We should all get the same!"
"Wait, shouldn't somepony get more if they do more work? Why let others do most of the work and others doing very little and having them all receive the same amount?" Starlight asked with a raised brow, her wonderment slowly diminishing as she actually thought about it.
"Enough thinking about the tiny details! Let's go make a statement shall we?!" Robbie exclaimed as his moustache stopped spinning and he landed in the middle of the busy shopping district of Canterlot. "You all are evil capitalist mules! None of you have ever worked a day in your life! What did you do to deserve such privilege while the farmers, the miners and the doctors all receive so much less and are in harsher conditions!?"
Starlight started to back away from Robbie as he pulled out a bottle of vodka and started kicking his legs out in some sort of dance, trying to attract attention to himself.
"We must all work and receive the same! Dance with me! Dance for the glory of communism and mother Russia!"
"Yeah...on second thought, I don't think I want to know about communism." Starlight said with a nervous chuckle as she backed away nervously.
Robbie glared and scoffed. "Fine! Fall like the rest of these capitalist pigs! Praise be to Marx! Glory to Stallion!" He yelled in anger as he pulled a comically large bomb out of his hat. As he grabbed the fuse to light it, Starlight blasted him with her horn, knocking him backwards into a wall. As he tried to get up, a group of guards surrounded him and Celestia herself appeared in a flash of bright light. "Well well well, if it isn't the big white slut with the big round butt, I've been trying to get your attention for months!"
Celestia rolled her eyes. "Put some restraints on him, and for Faust's sake, make him stop spouting nonsense about that toxic ideology." She ordered her guards as they closed in on Robbie.
"You'll never take me alive you cum coloured Christmas ornament! Communism away!" Robbie announced as he launched himself up into the air until he disappeared with a twinkle.
Celestia just blinked and groaned. "Find whatever portal this thing came from, and when you find that thing just throw it into Tartarus. It's times like this I wish the Elements of Harmony still worked..." She groaned as her guards went to carry out their orders. "And send somepony to get rid of this bomb!"
Starlight slowly walked up to Celestia with her ears flat against her head. "Um...Princess Celestia, are you alright?"
Celestia took in a breath and gave Starlight a weak smile. "Yes, I'm alright, it's just that thing has been causing a lot of trouble recently. Last week I had to put a stop to some 'workers revolution' he had managed to stir up in a village near the badlands."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Celestia hugged Starlight with a wing and shook her head. "Not right now, but when we find him, I'll send for you and Twilight, a powerful unicorn like yourself will come in handy when we try to put a stop to his nonsense."
"But he's right about one thing. How come these ponies earn so much more than the ones that work harder and do more than them?" Starlight asked with curiosity, hoping to get some kind of sans answer from the princess.
"It's just how things are and how our economy works. Most of these ponies actually help with trading and banking, they help keep our nation going, so don't think that all of them are lazy, snobby prudes." Celestia laughed. "Come on now, lets go have some cake, because the Internet says I like it so much."
"What was that?"
"Nothing, let's go, I'm sure this experience has been exhausting for you." With that, Celestia teleported them to her chambers to eat some cake, because you can't have a one shot featuring her without mentioning that.
Robbie stood on a cloud, overlooking the Equestrian countryside. "One day! One day all shall become one with communism! We will all be number one!" With his final cry, Robbie spun his moustache and flew off into the sunset.
Author's Note
Yeah, I don't know why I made this either.
Eat your veggies kids, or else the terrorists win.
I don't know how to end things.
