Please Don't Hurt Fluttershy!
Pinkie Pie hauled flank through Ponyville, leaving a pink blur behind her and a wind in her wake that left papers, manes, and one unfortunate toupee fluttering. She was yelling that everypony get out of her way as she raced implacably towards Fluttershy's cottage. She was within sight of it when she saw something that made her change course. It was four of her closest friends; Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle trotting toward Fluttershy's Cottage. They were chatting amiably until Pinkie Pie came to an abrupt stop in front of them. They recoiled slightly as they saw Pinkie Pie's big beaming smile, a face she tended to make when her pleasant expression was intended to mask some desperation.
"Hi, girls!" Pinkie Pie said. Then her smile wilted so much that it looked like she wasn't far from her hair reverting to its depressed, straight state. "I've come to ask you, please don't hurt Fluttershy!" The odd request caused her friends to exchange puzzled looks.
"Pinkie, Darling, why in Equestria would you ask such a thing of us?" Rarity asked. Pinkie Pie's eyes began to tear up and her lip quivered. The sound of maudlin violins seemed to fill the air.
"Because she's been so nice to me, and she cares so much about us all. One time, before Twilight came to the village, she caught me when I was in a blue funk, and she stayed with me all day until I was feeling better because she could see that I needed a friend." Despite the touching story, Rarity and Rainbow Dash both facehooved while Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes.
"No Pinkie," Twilight said as she tried to think of a way to ask the question which Pinkie would involuntarily turn into a pun. "Rarity was asking why you presumed we would be inclined to hurt Fluttershy if you didn't ask us not to." Even Pinkie's powers of comical misunderstanding couldn't overcome such a neatly elucidated explanation.
"OH!" she said, brightening immediately because she was being listened to. "Well, I was icing some ice cream in Sugarcube Corner when suddenly, I felt a tingling tickling sensation in my right hoof. Then I felt an itch in my right ear, then my tail began to twitch."
"Uh huh," said Twilight Sparkle attentively.
"So that means my Pinkie Sense was telling me one of two things: That tomorrow there's going to be a big sale on cider at Sweet Apple Acres." Pinkie Pie's face drooped out of sadness at what she was going to say next. "Or that the four of you were going to hurt Fluttershy." Pinkie turned her face away from her friends and cover her face with her hooves to conceal the tears that were welling again at the thought of one of her two dearest friends being horribly injured as her friends struck and mocked her for unclear reasons. She couldn't even look at Applejack as her friend placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder.
"Pinkie, Sweet Apple Acres is havin' a sale on cider tomorrow." Pinkie Pie uncovered her eyes, wiping her tears away and smiling again.
"It is?" Pinkie asked.
"Sure is!" Applejack said.
"I could have told you that!" Rainbow Dash said.
"We were just going to Fluttershy's for one of our book club meetings!"
"Oh, that's wonderful!" Pinkie said, turning back to her friends with a real smile. Then she lessened the smile slightly as she took a more somber expression. "But... Could you please all be extra, double sure that you don't hurt Fluttershy?" There were more rolled eyes and exasperated sighs from Pinkie's friends.
"Okie dokie loki." Rainbow Dash said, sure Pinkie Pie's catchphrase would be particularly reassuring. Then all four did the Pinkie Swear.
"Thank you all so much!" Pinkie said. "I'm sorry for bothering you, or if it felt like I was accusing you of planning to be mean to Fluttershy for no reason."
"Nah, it's alright." Applejack said.
"It means you care," Twilight Sparkle said. Her friends all gave Pinkie big, sincere smiles. "And none of us could ever be mad at you for caring about a friend. Say, would you like to join us? We were going to talk about Starswirl's autobiography and Daring Do and the Crystal School!"
"Sorry, but I have to get back to work! Feel free to stop by Sugarcube Corner when you're done!" Pinkie Pie took off back to Sugarcube Corner only slightly slower than she had run from it, so happy that the misunderstanding had been cleared up. When she was far enough away, her friends all frowned.
"Well, that stinks." Twilight Sparkle said as her ears drooped.
"Maybe we should have told her the truth." Rainbow Dash said.
"Do you want to explain it to her!?" Twilight Sparkle answered. Rainbow Dash shook her head and shuffled her hooves. There was nothing for the friends to do but continue on their way to Fluttershy's Cottage, although the wind had been thoroughly taken out of their sails.
When they arrived, Fluttershy came trotting out of the kitchen almost immediately. She had a large salad bowl perched on her back, well-balanced on the tight black leather which lifted and compressed her soft curves.
"Hello, Girls! I'm so happy you could come!" Fluttershy said through the unzipped zipper on either side of her lips. She gracefully slid the bowl onto the living room table with the four smaller bowls. The unfastened straps on her costume clanked as she did so. "You can all help yourselves! Would you like to play some music this time? I got a new album from-"
"Fluttershy," Twilight Sparkle said with an audible heavy heart. As she explained what they had just promised Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy's heart also sank. She tried to think of a way around it.
"But, maybe she wouldn't notice if we were to be very caref-"
"Darling," Rarity interrupted, "As much as it pains me to cancel our plans, we both know Pinkie would look you over so carefully after our session that she might as well be giving you a medical examination to make sure we didn't leave you with so much as a hair out of place."
"And if we can't really go wild with you," Rainbow Dash said "It's just not the same!"
"That's true," Fluttershy said. She couldn't help glaring a little. "Party pooper Pinkie Pie!"
"Eh, the innocent little filly means well," Applejack said, seating herself on Fluttershy's sofa. "So, what do y'all wanna do instead?" There was a moment of silence.
"Oh, we could have a book club meeting for real!" Twilight said, lifting her books from her saddle bags.
Since nothing else came to mind, Twilight Sparkle led her four friends in an amiable but deeply frustrating book club meeting.
THE END
Author's Note
You saw where this was going, didn't you?
