WHATCHA TALKIN BOUT WILLIS
OKAY THERE WAS ONCE A GUY NAMED VAN DICK.HE ALWAYS HATED HIS NAME AND THROUGH IF HE CUT HIS PENIS PEOPLE WOULD STOP MAKING FUN OF HIM!
ONE DAY HE CUTTED OF PEINUS AND HIS PENIUS TURNED INTO A PORTAL TO EQUISTERIA WHERE MEN ARE WOMEN!
VAN DICK"S PEINUS FOUND HIMSELF ON A FOREST THEN HE SAW PONIES!
PONIES TOLD HIM
"OH HAI THAR WHATSUP?"
AND VAN DICK SAID
I must break you.
THEN IT TURNED OUT THAT ONE OF THE PONIES IS APOLLO CREED!
THEN THEY FOUGHT!
VAN DICK PUNCHED APOLLO CREED AND HE DIED!
BECAUSE BLACK GUY ALWAYS DIES FIRST
THEN A PONY NAMED ROCKY SAID
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
DICK VAN SAID!
FOR SOVNGARDEEEEEEEEEE!
THEN ROCKY DIED.
IN A GRORIUS WAY.
THEN HE WENT TO PONYVILLE
THERE HE CREATED A GROUP CALLED "PPP"
HE WAS A RACIST MAN OR A DICK.
SO ANYWAYS HE KIDNAPPED PONIES AND RAPED THEM.
BECAUSE HE IS A DICK.
AND LIKE A VAMPIRE HE NEEDS TO RAPE.
THEN HE MET LEONARDO DICAPRIO
LEONARDO SAID
"AM I IN A DREAM!"
DICK VAN SAID
"NO! YOU HAVE FAILED! ASS AS A SPACE MARINEEEE"
LEONARDO DIED
CHRISTOPHER NOLAN CRIED SO HARD BECAUSE INCEPTION WAS A GOOD MOVIE.
DICK VAN FOUND SOME PONIES!
THEIR NAME WAS
APPLEJACK,TWILIGHT SPARKLE,RARITY,FLUTTERSHY,RAINBOW DASH AND M.NIGHT SHAMAYLAN WITH HIS GAY PARTNER MICHAEL BAY.
MICHAEL BAY WAS ABOUT TO GREET DICK VAN
THEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
EXPLOSIONNNNNS!
ENTIRE PONYVILLE GONE TO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
DICK VAN SAID
"I must break you"
MICHAEL BAY CALLED A GUY NAMED
SHIALA LEBOUF OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT
HE SAID
AAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHH LADIESMAN AAAARRRRGGGHH
THEN HE TURNED INTO A TRANSFORMER
THEN OPTIMUS PRIME CAME OUT OF NOWHERE
HE SAID
ALLSPARK IS IN EQUISTERIA
MEGATRON LEARNED ABOUT THIS
HE CAME TO EQUISTERIA TOO!
THEN THEY MEET A GUY NAMED
DICK VAN GOES TO THE CASTLE BECAUSE HE NEED REINFORCEMENTS!
ANYWAYS HE MET THE PRINCESSES
THEY SAID
DICK VAN YOU KILLED OUR FRIENDS! FOR THAT WE WILL NOT HELP YOU!
DICK VAN SAID
"I FUCK WHATEVER I WANT"
AND HE RAPED LUNA AND CELESTIA!
THEN A GUY NAMED TOMMY WISEAU CAME OUT OF NOWHERE
HE SAID
YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LUNAAAAAAA!
HE MADE THEM PREGNANT AND THEY GAVE BIRTH TO OVER 9000 HYBRIDS CREATURES!
THEN THEY BUILT THE CRUCIBLE BECAUSE THEY LEARNED THAT THE REAPERS WILL DESTROY EQUISTERIA!
THEN DICK VAN LEARNED THAT HE IS ACTUALLY COMMANDER SHEPARD AND DOVAHKIIN INCARNATE!
HE SAID
YOOOOL TOOOOR SHUUUUUL
THEN HE MEET A GUY NAMED DUKE NUKAM!
HE AGREED TO RAPE THE REAPERS AND DECEPTICONS!
THEY STARTED TO FIGHT!
DICK VAN WOUNDED BY A BEAM OF A REAPER CALLED HARBRINGER
IN A EMOTIONAL SLOW-MO HE LOOKED AS HIS TEAMMATES HOPELESSLY
THEEN A MIRACLE HAPPENED!
THE SPIRIT OF STEVE JOBS CAME
AND ATTACKED THE REAPERS WITH HIS APPLE PRODUCTS!
DICK VAN GET UP AND SAID STEEEEEEVE NOOOOOOOOO!
STEVE JOBS SAID...
HE SAID....
BUY IPHONE 8 AND HE DIED INTO THE WARP!
WHILE ALL THIS HAPPENED THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND FELT A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE
HE WENT TO EQUISTERIA AND LEARNED THEY ARE ACTUALLY PRAYING TO 2 PRINCESSES
HE BRANDED THEM AS HERETICS!
AND CALL EXTERMINATUS OPEN THEM!
DICK VAN LOOKED AT THE SKY FOR THE LAST TIME.
HE SAID...
AT LEAST I AM NOT DYING AS A VIRGIN!
THEN THE EXTERMINATUS FIRED UPON THE EQUESTRIA!
EVERYTHING DIED! EMPEROR AND CAPTAIN BOREALE SAID
SPEESH MERINES
WE ARE THE SPESS MERINES
WE ARE THE SPESS MERINES
DESTRUCTION OF EQUISTERIA WAS A VICTORY FOR THE IMPERIUM!
THEN EMPEROR PAID A VISIT TO THE EARTH
THERE HE MET A GUY NAMED RICHARD DAWKINS
HE SAID
I DONT BELIEVE IN THE EMPEROR!
THEN THE EMPEROR BRANDED HIM AS A HERETIC
AND CALLED THE EXTERMINATUS ON THE EARTH
THEN THE EARTH DESTROYED TOO AFTER THAT
EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY AFTER!
THE END
DIRECTED BY M.NIGHT SHAHAHAMYALAN AND MICHAEL BAY
WITH THE SUPPORT OF STEVEN SPIELBIRD
THANK YOU FOR READING
