PONY DICK

by Dick Van

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Tragedy
Length: 649

ITZ A STORY ABOUT MY SHIT WHO WANTED TO BE LEANARDIO DICAPRIO DICK

THIZ STORY IZ ABUT A MAN"S PENIS FINDS A WAY TO ENTER TO EQUISTERIA AND RAPE EVERYONE IN IT AND BE THE DRAGONPORN AND RAPE THE DRAGONZ!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-17 14:49:14 UTC

WHATCHA TALKIN BOUT WILLIS

OKAY THERE WAS ONCE A GUY NAMED VAN DICK.HE ALWAYS HATED HIS NAME AND THROUGH IF HE CUT HIS PENIS PEOPLE WOULD STOP MAKING FUN OF HIM!

ONE DAY HE CUTTED OF PEINUS AND HIS PENIUS TURNED INTO A PORTAL TO EQUISTERIA WHERE MEN ARE WOMEN!

VAN DICK"S PEINUS FOUND HIMSELF ON A FOREST THEN HE SAW PONIES!

PONIES TOLD HIM

"OH HAI THAR WHATSUP?"

AND VAN DICK SAID

I must break you.

THEN IT TURNED OUT THAT ONE OF THE PONIES IS APOLLO CREED!

THEN THEY FOUGHT!

VAN DICK PUNCHED APOLLO CREED AND HE DIED!

BECAUSE BLACK GUY ALWAYS DIES FIRST

THEN A PONY NAMED ROCKY SAID

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DICK VAN SAID!

FOR SOVNGARDEEEEEEEEEE!

THEN ROCKY DIED.

IN A GRORIUS WAY.

THEN HE WENT TO PONYVILLE

THERE HE CREATED A GROUP CALLED "PPP"

HE WAS A RACIST MAN OR A DICK.

SO ANYWAYS HE KIDNAPPED PONIES AND RAPED THEM.

BECAUSE HE IS A DICK.

AND LIKE A VAMPIRE HE NEEDS TO RAPE.

THEN HE MET LEONARDO DICAPRIO

LEONARDO SAID

"AM I IN A DREAM!"

DICK VAN SAID

"NO! YOU HAVE FAILED! ASS AS A SPACE MARINEEEE"

LEONARDO DIED

CHRISTOPHER NOLAN CRIED SO HARD BECAUSE INCEPTION WAS A GOOD MOVIE.

DICK VAN FOUND SOME PONIES!

THEIR NAME WAS

APPLEJACK,TWILIGHT SPARKLE,RARITY,FLUTTERSHY,RAINBOW DASH AND M.NIGHT SHAMAYLAN WITH HIS GAY PARTNER MICHAEL BAY.

MICHAEL BAY WAS ABOUT TO GREET DICK VAN

THEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

EXPLOSIONNNNNS!

ENTIRE PONYVILLE GONE TO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

DICK VAN SAID

"I must break you"

MICHAEL BAY CALLED A GUY NAMED

SHIALA LEBOUF OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT

HE SAID

AAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHH LADIESMAN AAAARRRRGGGHH

THEN HE TURNED INTO A TRANSFORMER

THEN OPTIMUS PRIME CAME OUT OF NOWHERE

HE SAID

ALLSPARK IS IN EQUISTERIA

MEGATRON LEARNED ABOUT THIS

HE CAME TO EQUISTERIA TOO!

THEN THEY MEET A GUY NAMED

DICK VAN GOES TO THE CASTLE BECAUSE HE NEED REINFORCEMENTS!

ANYWAYS HE MET THE PRINCESSES

THEY SAID

DICK VAN YOU KILLED OUR FRIENDS! FOR THAT WE WILL NOT HELP YOU!

DICK VAN SAID

"I FUCK WHATEVER I WANT"

AND HE RAPED LUNA AND CELESTIA!

THEN A GUY NAMED TOMMY WISEAU CAME OUT OF NOWHERE

HE SAID

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LUNAAAAAAA!

HE MADE THEM PREGNANT AND THEY GAVE BIRTH TO OVER 9000 HYBRIDS CREATURES!

THEN THEY BUILT THE CRUCIBLE BECAUSE THEY LEARNED THAT THE REAPERS WILL DESTROY EQUISTERIA!

THEN DICK VAN LEARNED THAT HE IS ACTUALLY COMMANDER SHEPARD AND DOVAHKIIN INCARNATE!

HE SAID

YOOOOL TOOOOR SHUUUUUL

THEN HE MEET A GUY NAMED DUKE NUKAM!

HE AGREED TO RAPE THE REAPERS AND DECEPTICONS!

THEY STARTED TO FIGHT!

DICK VAN WOUNDED BY A BEAM OF A REAPER CALLED HARBRINGER

IN A EMOTIONAL SLOW-MO HE LOOKED AS HIS TEAMMATES HOPELESSLY

THEEN A MIRACLE HAPPENED!

THE SPIRIT OF STEVE JOBS CAME

AND ATTACKED THE REAPERS WITH HIS APPLE PRODUCTS!

DICK VAN GET UP AND SAID STEEEEEEVE NOOOOOOOOO!

STEVE JOBS SAID...

HE SAID....

BUY IPHONE 8 AND HE DIED INTO THE WARP!

WHILE ALL THIS HAPPENED THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND FELT A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE

HE WENT TO EQUISTERIA AND LEARNED THEY ARE ACTUALLY PRAYING TO 2 PRINCESSES

HE BRANDED THEM AS HERETICS!

AND CALL EXTERMINATUS OPEN THEM!

DICK VAN LOOKED AT THE SKY FOR THE LAST TIME.

HE SAID...

AT LEAST I AM NOT DYING AS A VIRGIN!

THEN THE EXTERMINATUS FIRED UPON THE EQUESTRIA!

EVERYTHING DIED! EMPEROR AND CAPTAIN BOREALE SAID

SPEESH MERINES

WE ARE THE SPESS MERINES

WE ARE THE SPESS MERINES

DESTRUCTION OF EQUISTERIA WAS A VICTORY FOR THE IMPERIUM!

THEN EMPEROR PAID A VISIT TO THE EARTH

THERE HE MET A GUY NAMED RICHARD DAWKINS

HE SAID

I DONT BELIEVE IN THE EMPEROR!

THEN THE EMPEROR BRANDED HIM AS A HERETIC

AND CALLED THE EXTERMINATUS ON THE EARTH

THEN THE EARTH DESTROYED TOO AFTER THAT

EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY AFTER!

THE END

DIRECTED BY M.NIGHT SHAHAHAMYALAN AND MICHAEL BAY

WITH THE SUPPORT OF STEVEN SPIELBIRD

THANK YOU FOR READING