Chaos is a wonderful thing.
Looking out from atop the frozen Necropolis, the Draconequus found himself in a new land. From the plagued trees that filled the air with a deathly scent, to gloomy snowflakes that looked more like ash. He wondered what he could possibly do to make this place seem more his style.
Peering down however, he grinned wickedly as a plan came together. Using his magic he slipped through the ceiling and opted to explore the Necropolis instead of what was around it.
Hanging upside down he appeared to be in the middle of the place, Discord looked around. Four winding halls seemed to surround him, each with a plaque hung neatly above. Each plaque read Plague, Military, Arachnid, and Construct.
“How dull.” He muttered. Standing up Discord rolled his eyes, “Each section should get its own makeover.” He mused.
Stepping forward to make his way to the Military quarter though, he felt something grab hold of the tuft on his tail. Looking back a small cat was bouncing it around.
Smiling; Discord picked up the feline. A gem adorned collar read Mr Bigglesworth. “Oh my… that is… ADORABLE!” His eyes lit up with enjoyment as he cradled the cat.
It appeared to be melting into his arms as it fell asleep, but that was cut short as a chilling voice echoed through the halls.
“Bigglesworth? It's play time!”
Instantly the cat jumped down and ran off into a swirling portal. Discord stared at the portal for a moment before frowning.
“I'll chase him later.”
Sneaking through the ceiling, Discord could hear someone talking at the far end of the corridors.
“I SWEAR, if you scare away the next unfortunate soul to enter Naxxramas.”A feminine voice practically growled. “You will be my naxt victim.”
“Was that a… joke?” A male voice replied fearfully.
“And if it was?” She sneered.
“Just uh… curious…” He laughed.
Discord slipped closer to where they were coming from. It lead to something called The Chamber of the Horsemen. Within the room stood four horses. All clad in armor and tattered cloth. Upon each was a horsemen that wore armor matching their horse.
At the Center was a dark figure whose horse had a dark blue and black cloth which draped at the side. He seemed rather bored by the bickering going on behind him.
“Will you two idiots just shut your traps?”
The single lady rolled her eyes and leaned forward in her saddle. A black and red fabric pushed behind her thighs.
“Then tell the baby to stop warning people!”
Presumed to be the baby, the Horsemen in emerald armor spoke up. “Rivendare, surely you understand right? Blaumeax is just being a bitch as usual.”
Before Rivendare could speak up, the final Horsemen spoke up. The silverish purple armor practically glowing.
“Oi, Zeliek. You must watch that mouth of yours, last time you spoke down to her she shoved yer face in an abomination.”
Rivendare covered his mouth as if trying to not laugh. “You aren't wrong, Thane.”
Sitting back in his saddle, Zeliek looked away from the others as if disappointed. Blaumeax began to laugh.
“Are you going to cry?! Oh my Lich, that is HILARIOUS! How in the world did we end up with such a whiney Horsemen!” Hugging her sides she cracked up as Rivendare and Thane watched her.
Watching from behind them, Discord presumed that the two watching were most likely the higher ups in the group. Although, Zeliek became his clear favorite solely due to how he had the personality of a close friend. Fearful, quiet, never understood…
Lifting up a clawed hand, Discord quietly toyed around with ideas until one he was sure would make the others laugh came to mind. As Blaumeax continued to laugh, she suddenly found herself falling to the ground. As she fell forward and smashed her face into the cold floor.
“Did you push me-” A gasp escaped her lips as she noticed her horse was missing. All that was left behind was the saddle and fabric which bunched up beneath her. “Victory? Victory where are you?!” Suddenly in a fit of panic, she stood up and lifted the saddle, beneath it was a small frog. “What in the…”
Behind the group was a sudden laugh that made the four of them turn around. There, floating in the air was a dragon like creature that snorted every few seconds. “The look on your face is Priceless!” Discord covered his mouth and continued to laugh.
Rivendare just stared in awe, same with Thane. Zeliek on the other hand pushed his horse forward. “And you are…?” He asked shyly. Discord stopped laughing and looked down at him, “Your new friend.” Discord grinned and flew behind Zeliek.
“Listen, I saw what Bloomy over there did to you. And I couldn’t let somebody like you get bullied.” Bleumeax stood up and began to walk towards Discord, quietly unsheathing her sword. “You remind me of somebody, and that’s enough reason to help.” Lifting his bear paw he booped Zeliek on the nose; causing the Horsemen to chuckle.
But the moment was suddenly filled with panic as Bleumeax lifted her sword and brought it down on Discord’s neck. “That’s what he gets for trying to make a fool out of me.” She hissed.
In the back, Rivendare tilted his head, “I think whatever that thing is-is still making a fool out of you.” Bleumeax gasped as the dragon picked his head off the ground and placed it back on his neck.
“What a rude way to say hi!” Discord growled. Thane clapped, clearly amused. At which Discord bowed, “At least somebody enjoys my comic relief.” Zeliek smiled, “I also enjoyed it.”
Belumeax said nothing as she gawked at the situation, clearly the other three were too interested in the beast to report it, so she turned away and began to leave the room. Rivendare watched her leave before calling out, “Ay Bloomy, you’re not going to stay and see what else he can do?” Up the hall she yelled, “Call me Bloomy again and you’ll be my next victim!”
Thane snorted, “Doesn’t she mean, naxt victim?” Rivendare laughed as the joke caught him off guard. “Well.” Discord spoke, “I think my job here is done.” As he began to float back up towards the ceiling Zeliek lifted a hand.
“Then uh, thank you?” The Horsemen smiled as Rivendare and Thane walked up beside him. Discord made a heart with his hands and winked, “You’re welcome.” As he vanished Zeliek covered his cheeks, at which Rivendare and Thane nodded. “We oughta get Bloomy back when she returns.” Thane spoke. Rivendare nodded with Zeliek, “Bloomy is going to get it.” Rivendare giggled.
“I hear little hearts beating, yess… a little faster. Soon they will stop…”
Discord raised an eyebrow and peered around the corner; ignoring the hundreds of spiders that were climbing all over him. “Gross.” He rolled out his tongue. The giant beetle like being was poking at a corpse with his massive incisors.
“Which shall I eat first? So many to choose, all so delicious…”
Plucking a spider from his bat wing, Discord looked it over before an idea hatched like the eggs on the floor. “Oh this is going to be richer than.. Blood…” He felt sick by the comment but went along with it.
Floating up behind the beetle monster, he pulled out a makeshift fishing pole made of a stick he found outside and spider silk for string. Shoving his hand in his chest, he reached around before finding and pulling out his heart.
Do I even use this thing? It makes me wonder.
Wrapping the silk around the heart he quietly floated above the beast and began to lower it down. Anub’Rekhan seemed to twitch slightly before looking up, “Just a little taste…” It practically drooled as it lifted its claws up to snatch the heart, but Discord yanked it away. “You gotta be faster than that.” He smiled.
Anub’Rekhan hissed as scarabs tended to do. “Welcome to my parlor…” He inched closer to Discord who seemed rather calm for something as massive as the beetle was getting closer. Plucking the heart off Discord placed it back in his chest. “And you are?” He got up in the beast’s face.
“Just a little taste…” Anub’Rekhan fixated his gaze on Discord, but Discord backed up. So Anub’Rekhan inched closer, Discord backed away. This went on for several minutes. Yawning, Discord brushed his tail against Anub’Rekhan, “How boring.” He drawled.
Opting to just leave he paused and rummaged around his head for something to give to the beetle as a thank you for dealing with him. “Oh, here you go.” He tossed a liver on the ground. “I still don’t get why I have these things, they do me no good.” Anub’Rekhan picked up the piece as Discord vanished and looked at it. Shivering he placed it on the corpse.
I’ll never forget you.
Two halls remained, plague and construct. Going back to the entrance Discord looked over the map that was drawn by who he presumed was a kid, poorly drawn bones lined the halls as scribbles of characters were done to indicate who was in each quarter.
One name in particular caught his eye, Gluth of the Construct Quarter. The image of him was a hastily drawn dog with stitches, at the side it read MY PUPPERONI. Whose “pupperoni”? Hell if he knew, Discord wanted to meet it though.
Making his way through the various paths he removed his nostrils and placed them in his pocket so he wouldn’t need to smell the disgusting rotting smell that seemed to drift everywhere in these halls. He now knew how gross the abominations were as they left behind trails of… To be truthful, Celestia wouldn’t even know.
One abomination did catch his eye though, it was significantly larger than all the others. But instead of using it as an advantage, he was sitting in the disgusting water than ran throughout the Necropolis and played in the sewage. Occasionally, bubbles would rise and in return tiny blobs would crawl out.
Trying to forget what he saw he made his way past a large humanoid who had a needle for an arm. Before leaving the room, Discord place a marshmallow at the tip.
For safety of course.
And there it was, the large dog that was named Gluth. Discord wasn’t sure what he was expecting as he tried to be honest to himself. Occasionally zombies would run out and try to calm the beast who was jumping around gleefully gobbling them up then barking.
Looking down from the sewage hole leading into the room, Discord watched from a safe distance. But one thing made him shiver, the echoes. Gluth was obviously stitched together, but whatever he was stitched with was trapped inside, because the wails could be heard still. Hugging his tail he began to wonder if he really wanted to be here.
Floating down he tried to sneak about but he was maybe not as sneaky as he thought he was. Because as he let his guard down, his tail was suddenly snatched as he found himself thrown into the floor.
“OH SWEET FLUTTERSHY!”
Then slimy darkness. Occasionally a gurgle or two, and a very, very… Upset and annoyed Discord.
He wasn't going back there. Walking through the Plague Quarter, he didn’t even care about being seen at this point. His trail still dripped with a disgusting mixture of zombie chow and dog slobber. His horns were crooked as they had mashed against the teeth of the beast. Even his hair was plastered down as it was still sticky.
Wiping his brows Discord walked through what seemed like a petrified forest, grubs and gargoyles all watched curiously as he just went bye, not even attempting to come close. Apparently the stench was too powerful for even them. But as Discord walked in the room after, he heard somebody speak.
I see you.
Discord turned to the speaker, it was a… Wizard looking guy? It was the only way he could describe him. Purple and gold skull adorned robes draped to the floor as he held a cane with a crystal ball at the end. A large swirling beard ran down his chest.
“I, too, see you.” Discord replied with a snappish tone. Snapping his fingers the liquids he was coated in slipped off onto the floor, at which they filled the cracks and he stepped away.
The wizard walked up the Discord and admired him, occasionally the floor would erupt and either a green, purple, or orange liquid would shoot out. However, at one point, Discord backed into the purple liquid as a hand came a little too close. “Hands off the merchandise, pal.” he sneered.
“Oh, but that’s not how you dance.” The Wizard spoke. Discord raised an eyebrow, what in the world was this guy going off about. Dance?
“Excuse me?” Discord cocked his head at which the Wizard walked back up to where was earlier and played around with a few wall tiles. As he did so a few spiders and abominations walked into the room, causing Discord to look around. What in the world was this guy planning?
Suddenly, a few lights lifted down and strobed colorful spiders around the room. “Dance?” The wizard asked as the floor lit up in the areas where the liquid wouldn’t be shooting out. Shrugging, Discord nodded, “Oh Tartarus, why not.”
He found the whole situation rather amusing as it went on. Watching spiders fail and get blasted out, he seemed to dance his away around the room before slipping out at the opposite side from at which he came from. “I see you!” he shouted at a tentacle that was sneakily watching him from across the room.
As a desperate plan to escape it slammed its noodle like body into the ground it sprouted from and slipped away. Feeling content, Discord made his way back to the entrance, and at which, to finally search for the kitty he met earlier.
The portal was still there, swirling with a vibrant blue as he poked his head through. Slipping fully, a large skeleton was scattered in the next room. Flying over Discord picked up the skull and placed it on his head, “Maybe i’ll dress up like this for Nightmare Night!” His smile faded as he realized how morbid the situation and gently placed it back on the floor. “Or not.”
“You’re gonna catch it, just a little more!”
Listening to the conversation ahead of him, Discord slowly went into the hallway closeby. Noticing the cat running around, it was followed by a skeletal being holding an arm on a string.
Finally Bigglesworth caught the arm and the skeleton clapped, “Victory tastes so sweet! Like a Milkshake!... Or maybe a bar of chocolate?” He placed a clawed hand on his chin to think it over as Bigglesworth walked over to Discord and purred.
“What is this?!” Discord looked up at the skeleton, “It seems the cat loves me more.” He smiled. The skeleton shook his head, “Oh no, it’s okay interloper, we all make mistakes.”
Raising an eyebrow, Discord slowly picked up Bigglesworth and pet him. “Oh, well, thanks for letting me pet the cat!”
Kel’thuzad went ahead to grab Bigglesworth, but Discord vanished to the other side of the room. Following him around, KT began to get very distressed as he couldn’t catch his beloved kitty.
“I am seething with anger. Seething.” Kel’thuzad finally lunged for Discord who vanished and left Bigglesworth on the ground. As he picked up his cat, Discord snuck behind him, “Boo!” KT face went blank, “Oh, i’m so scared.” Turning back to Discord he looked rather confused. Bleumeax had come stomping in here earlier speaking about something breaking in. But of all the things that could've snuck in, it was… this guy.
Discord had a goofy smile on his face, “Well, are you surprised?!” He spread out his arms. “No.” Kel’thuzad replied coldly. “Why not?” Discord coiled his body around as he waited on a response. “Because your soul belongs to me now! Fuhahaha!” Kel’thuzad reached a hand forward and grabbed Discord by the neck. Looking rather uncomfortable he uncoiled in fear.
But after a minute of just staring at eachother, Kel’thuzad looked flabbergasted by how it didn’t work. “Silly uh… Lich is it? I don’t have a soul.” Fire seemed to erupt under the two at which Kel’thuzad freaked out as fire ran up his robe. “Oh! Sorry!” Discord pulled out a fire extinguisher and coated KT in it.
The Lich stood with his hands out an awe. He dripped as Discord looked him over, “That look suits you.” Kel’thuzad simply looked over without words, causing Discord to frown, “Ok ok, I get it.” Snapping his fingers Kel’thuzad was dry, “Thank you…”
Patting out the robes, Kel’thuzad sighed, “I think it’s time you go.” Discord whined in response, “But whhhhyyyy…” KT placed his palms together, “Because if you stay here and push your shenanigans anymore, I might just commit mass genocide.”
Discord stared in pure shock before backing up, “I… Oh alright, I guess i’ll be.. Going.” Waving he flew out of the hall leaving Kel’thuzad to just take a breather. “I swear if he returns, what am I to do, right Bigglesworth?”
Bigglesworth?
Holding the cat at the entrance, Discord held up three fingers.
Three
Two
One…
A voice of anguish filled the halls, “Bigglesworth?! Where did you go?!” Kel’thuzad cried, leaving Discord content as he finally left.
Author's Note
The PUNS are what make the story. <3
