I always hear people talk about how Sunday is supposed to be a day of worship, or one of relaxation. For most of my life, I was in the same mindset, until I began getting up at five in the morning one weekend a month to drive down to some base in the middle of a shipyard
When I first signed up for the Army, I thought I was being smart for signing up to do Journalism in a Reserves unit. But there's no easy way through life, nor is there an easy way through an military contract. But life's not about doing things the easy way, and there's worse things that can happen than waking up at 5AM twice a month every month to sit in an office for 8 hours.
Today was the day I found out how quickly things can go downhill.
On this Sunday, I began nodding off behind the wheel, a result of tedious work and a lack of sleep. I decided to pull over for a little bit to rest, opting for a small, low traffic bridge on the other side of the shipyard. Rolling the seat back, I pulled my cap off and covered my head, giving myself a bit of peace from the outside world.
I sat in peace for a little while, until I felt a jolt, followed by the car tipping slowly upwards. My heart began thumping as I realized my mistake:
This was an active shipyard. I was parked on a Lift Bridge.
I sat up immediately, fumbling for my keys to turn on my car as I felt another jolt, followed by a crash as the front of my car landed against the edge of the bridge. I could only watch in horror as I felt my car tip downward, and begin tumbling into the waters below.
Once I fell beneath the waves, everything became a blur. The darkness of twilight barely shone below the surface, and I felt my car slowly fall beneath the surface. I felt a large, sudden impact, and I was knocked unconscious.
Am I... Dead?
I shook my head, trying to adjust my eyes. I was shocked to find that my car wasn't submerged anymore, and even moreso to find myself in a completely different body of water. Unlike the bay my base was located by, this appeared to be a shallow bog, water reaching an inch or so above the windows.
Not wanting to waste time, I unbuckled myself and climbed into the back of the car to grab my backpack. Once I had it in hand, I slammed my boots into the rear window and crawled out. Finally free of the would-be death trap, I took a quick glance to see the damage.
"Yowch..." I muttered, eyeing the crunched up vehicle. Now while I wasn't a mechanic, seeing the hood of the car caved in was a dead giveaway that there was no salvaging my old ride. Even if I could pull it out, the engine would be flooded with water if not smashed to pieces, so it would do little more than provide shelter from these woods.
Now, as far as surroundings go, I could safely tell I wasn't near the shipyard anymore. The familiar sights of rusted out metal structures and crumbling concrete was replaced by low-hanging trees, marshy ponds of mud and algae, and a floor covered in grass and wildflowers.
"How in the hell?" I whispered, looking at the body of water my car was stuck in. Even if I wanted to believe my car drifted into some forest near the shipyard, the pond was completely land-locked. Not even a stream flowed to or from where I had "landed". The how and why that put me here, however, weren't as important as finding my way out of the woods. On-hand I knew I had some MREs, a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of cherry coke, and various odds and ends, so survival-ready I was not. However, given my alternatives were either staying by a flooded car and wandering blindly through a dark forest, I chose to leave my crash point and explore. Without any compass or map, no direction felt better or worse than another, so I chose to push forward until I found a trail or road, accompanied by silence on all sides.
All told, the forest itself wasn't spooky or unnerving in of itself. The sheer solitude I felt as I wandered just filled me with uneasiness. It was almost as if there was something eyeing my every move, listening in on every step, waiting for one slip-up. I didn't know where I had landed, but I knew I wasn't home anymore, and I knew that I was not welcome here.
I could almost feel my heart jump for joy when I saw in a rough, but deliberately shaped dirt road. A road meant people, which meant a way out of these woods. The chaos and tension of the situation was still thick, but I was one step closer to getting out of this situation. I bolted forward and began scanning my surroundings as I touched the path, trying to see any indications out. Although night was beginning to fall, I could make out enough of the road to see the path to my left began curving behind me, while the path to my right kept relatively straight. Since retracing my steps didn't seem helpful in this scenario, I took the path to my right, and set my pace to a light jog.
The path was shorter than I expected, and it ended in an open field. Almost as if there was a bubble around the forest, the feelings of fear disappeared as I set foot outside the woods. I plopped to the ground, exhaling a small sigh of relief, picking this spot as a safe enough rest point. By this point the sun had already dipped beneath the horizon, leaving me in near-complete darkness. While I didn't have any timeline of how long I spent in the woods, I wagered it was almost 4 hours since I fell off that bridge. I was safe and alive, however I had inexplicably wound up in the middle of a forest. Sure, it was better than being dead, but if anyone had seen me fall back there, word must already have spread of the incident, and without knowing where I was, I may as well be to my friends and colleagues.
No... I can't feel sorry for myself right now. If there was a road, there's gotta be people nearby to have made it!
Since I still had to find some form of shelter, and given those woods weren't looking anymore welcoming, I pushed myself up. I was cold, tired, and hungry, but unless I had a solid enough idea of what happened, I couldn't just sit on my ass all night until I got found. A little ways away, there was a road with a sign pointed towards the woods. If I could ballpark where I was from it, finding some city or town would be much easier. I made my way over to the sign, managing to catch the text hastily scribbled on it.
Everfree Forest. Beware
"That's... Disturbing" I muttered as I closed in on the painted warning. If the signs weren't going to be of any help, I figured I may as well just see where the road takes me. Truth be told, though, I could see why they put a warning; the place seemed awfully foreboding, and undeveloped forests like those always had all sorts of nasties inside.
I don't know how long I was walking down that road, but a cottage slowly began creeping into view. Although I could see a few lights on, nature seemed to have taken over the building, with the roof being covered with greenery. But lights meant someone was there, and if someone was there, I could get the hell out of here.
"Hello! Is someone there?" I shouted, booking it to the cottage "I got lost in the Everfree, I don't know where I am!" I closed the distance between me and the building quickly, and began knocking on the door, "Hello, is anyone there?"
The door opened. That was the last thing I saw before receiving a blow to the chest.
"... never seen anything like it..."
"Is it dangerous? It was rappin' on Fluttershy's door somethin' fierce when Ah found it..."
"I don't know, but you said it was actually talking?"
"Yeah, Ah heard it shouting about being lost, saying it was in the Everfree."
I slowly started coming to again, a splitting headache greeting me as I started to become aware of my surroundings.
"Hold yer hay, it's moving!" I heard a southern voice say. To my surprise and shock, I was blindfolded and tied up, which slowly began to renew my dread of the situation.
"Applejack, wait!" Another voice quickly followed, "Look at it." It?
"What about it?" The first voice, I assume Applejack, questioned, now speaking right above me.
"Look at the coloring, it's blobs of greens, blacks, and browns. You heard it speak; not only is it able to understand Equine," What? "but it seems to be aware of at least rudimentary camouflage. This creature must have some level of self-awareness..."
"So you're saying it might be able to understand us?" Applejack asked, tapping a heavy foot against the floor beside me.
"Yes, I can." I replied, causing both to gasp, "I hate to interrupt, but I almost died today, so get this shit off of me!"
I don't know how, but I felt myself lift up off the ground after I spoke. Before I could scream, the blindfold came off, allowing me to see the people who knocked me out and hog-tied me.
They... Weren't people.
"Am I dead?" I muttered. I don't know what I expected, but I was getting stared at by two small horses, or ponies, given the size. One was a purple freaking unicorn with a glowing horn, while the other was a "normal" orange pony with a cowboy hat.
"... Hello." The unicorn replied, stepping towards me, "If I set you down, you're not going to hurt us?"
"If I say yes, will you untie me?" I asked, "I've already had a rough day, I'm tired, and I just want to go home."
The unicorn's horn stopped glowing, and I fell to the ground. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, who are you?"
I looked down for a moment, and noticed my nametape had fallen off. Then again, I'm dealing with horsy kidnappers, they probably wouldn't know what the relevance of the tapes on me said.
Meeting her eyes again, I sighed. "Specialist Albus, United States Army." I lied. What did it matter if I pulled that name out of my ass? I know better than to talk to kidnappers.
That answer seemed to take the two back, "And what are you doing here?", the unicorn asked, eyeing me with an, admittedly understandable, amount of fear
I frowned, "I don't know, honestly. One second, I fell off a bridge and into the water, next second, I'm in a gloomy forest. All I do know is I should dead and at the bottom of an estuary."
"An es-stu what now?" Applejack asked, giving me a puzzled look.
"An estuary is a coastal body closed off from the ocean, Applejack." Twilight explained, before turning back to me. "I can't tell if you're lying, Albus, but even if what you say is true, I can't just let you out to roam Ponyville." I snickered at the name.
"Then keep me in... Wherever we are." I told her. Now that I was less on edge, I noticed we appeared to be in a library of sorts. Because why not, if ponies can talk and have established society, they can check out books.
"If he tries to run, Ah can just give him a good buck to the head, Twi." Applejack assured the purple pony, much to my horror.
"Won't be necessary, Ma'am. I can behave." I hastily told her, "But I am getting pretty hungry. The least you ladies can do is let me get some chow, right?"
Twilight eyed me suspiciously for a moment. I gave a nervous grin, only for her horn to light up again. Before I could shimmy away, the rope tying my hands and feet together undid itself. "I'll trust you for now, Albus. I'll be writing a letter to the princess before we decide anything further, but I can't say no to letting you eat."
Giving a grateful nod, I stood up and stretched, which gave me a chance to size up the ponies. Unsurprisingly, they were shorter than me by a head or so, if I had to wager a guess, the two were probably around five feet tall. Looking around, I found my bag in the corner, and stepped over to grab it. MREs were no delicacy, but I had no clue if these ponies had anything I could eat, so Chili Mac it was.
"What's that?" Applejack asked, seeing me sit down with the glorified lunchable.
"A Meal Ready-to-Eat." I replied, pulling the bag open, "Not the most pleasant thing on Earth, but I gotta eat something."
I quickly dumped the contents onto the ground. Skittles, cocoa, coffee, dry cookies, "bread", cheese, and entree. Guess my luck wasn't so bad after all.
An hour had passed, and I found myself with a blanket on the floor of the building. Applejack had since left the library, once I proved myself trustworthy enough. As I learned, Twilight was an extremely curious individual, and spent a large amount of the time asking me about myself, humans in general, and where I came from.
I'd slowly begun accepting that going home wasn't likely, but the second I mentioned my state, California, the fact just became even more final. Coltifornia, as it turns out, was a place she was familiar with. Upon showing me a map, the first thing I noticed was our location, Equestria, resembled a weathered down version of the United States. From where Twilight pointed, my best guess would place Ponyville somewhere around the east coast. The area I pointed out as California more or less added up to Coltifornia, if it spanned up to Washington.
I wasn't home. Hell, I wasn't even on Earth. That was a somber thought, and it was one that was keeping me up. I was gone, and I probably wouldn't be able to go back. Twilight explained to me the concept of magic, and that she believed I was teleported here. Me, I don't know what happened, nor do I care. Answers would help me understand why and how, but it wouldn't help me return to the life I left.
"Albus!" I heard Twilight call from the other room, "I got a letter back from the princess!"
I rolled over to face the door she began walking through, "What's it say?"
Floating the letter in front of her (because fucking magic), Twilight cleared her throat. "Dear Twilight, I will look through the library for any information on these humans you wrote about. While I understand the precautions you are making, you are in no legal ground to hold Albus against his will. However, given his situation, I will ask that you help house him while he finds his way in Equestia. So long as he abides to the laws of Equestria, I see no reason to deny him the rights and freedoms of our citizens. Sincerely yours, Princess Celestia." Looking over to me, she gave a reassuring smile, "I guess you're in the clear, Albus."
I nodded, "I guess so..." Should I be happy? I'm an alien specie in a world populated by ponies. But I have freedom. It's not much, but it gives me a leg up to do better. And, since I'm no longer home, I'm no longer under any contracts or obligations.
And less than 24 hours ago, I was wishing I could just retire and be free. Man, life's a bitch.
I laid back down on the ground, "I suppose I'll start seeing about finding a place." I muttered, looking up at the ceiling.
"Don't say that, Albus. You're more than welcome to stay with me for now. It's the least I could do after we had that..." The awkwardness in the air was almost tangible, "... Misunderstanding..."
"I guess." I replied, "I just don't want to be a nuisance, and it's a bit ironic for me. Back home, we had an law, the right to refuse to quarter soldiers." I laughed, "Never thought I'd plead the third on myself..."
"Please, I'm offering. It's what friends do." She told me, causing me to tense up.
"Friend?" I asked, looking at her, "We just met."
Twilight gave a reassuring smile, placing a hoof on my shoulder, "I know, Albus, but you're alone. You didn't ask to come here. You need some help. It's the pony thing to do."
I sighed, looking back up at the ceiling. "Thanks. I suppose we can figure out living arrangements in the morning."
Waking up in an unfamiliar place can do many things to a person. Shock, apprehension, fear, any number of emotions come to mind for what could have ran through my head. However, the first thoughts that came to my mind was none of those.
"Who the fuck lives in a library?" I mused, looking around the room. Thankfully, the floor wasn't as uncomfortable as I'd expected, but I was still cramping from the uncomfortable positioning. Sitting myself up, I thought over the events from the previous day.
I'm driving home, park my car and take a nap. Nevermind the retarded thought process of parking on a fucking BRIDGE... I somehow wind up in a swamp, in another world of technicolor horses. Either God has it out for me or did me a solid.
"Good morning!" A voice breaks my train of thought, and I whirl around to see Twilight trotting towards, a glowing plate floating in front of her. "I figured you might be hungry, so I got started on breakfast."
I nodded, grabbing the plate and watching as the purple glow faded from it, the weight shifting in my grasp. Looking down at the meal, I was greeted with some toast, an orange slice, and a small amount of scrambled eggs. To top it off, there was an adorable little purple fork placed on the edge of the plate.
"Thank you, Ma'am," I responded, taking the fork and digging into the dish. Although the portions were small, it filled me up well enough. However, I noticed that my host was watching with interest as I ate.
Seeing my raised eyebrow, she smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry," She replied, "You're just a new specie! It's not every day you can say you've discovered a new race with pony-level intelligence!"
"And this has to do with watching me eat how?" I asked, putting the plate back down on the floor.
"It's not just watching you eat, it's seeing everything! The structure of your muzzle, the dexterity of your claws, the thinner teeth in the front!"
"So I'm a science experiment now?" I mused, "If you wanted to know anything, you could've asked." I immediately regretted that offer, as Twilight squealed in delight, running off to another room, only to return with a stack of paper and a quill.
"So, where do you want to start?" She asked, levitating the quill and a piece of paper, watching me happily.
I'm not getting out of this one... I inwardly sighed, "Well, to go off of your comments, these," I held up my hands, "are just called hands. Four fingers and a thumb. These," I pulled down my lip, showing my front teeth, "are canines. More pointed and sharp than molars to help tear bites of fibrous food, like meat and whatnot."
Twilight blanched at the mention of meat, "So you're omnivorous?" She deduced.
I shrugged, "I should've guessed it's an awkward conversation to have with a herbivore, but yes. Some humans live without meat in their diet, but on the whole we need it as a source of protein. Stuff like chicken and fish."
She sighed, somewhat relieved, "So just like griffins," She commented, scratching a few notes, "Unfortunately we don't have a big population of griffins anywhere nearby, so there's not much you can do about buying meat. The Apples and Fluttershy have chickens they use for eggs, and the market has a few shops you can get those from, but I don't think any of them would be quick to let you... Take care of some of their fodder."
"I didn't expect to see any KFCs in town, so I can't say I'm disappointed. Would anyone be opposed to me taking a rod and going fishing somewhere?" I asked. Unfortunately, I'd never fished myself, so it'll be a learning experience if I want to get any real protein long-term.
"Of course!" She replied, "Ponyville has plenty of fisherponies, you'll fit right in!"
I gave a dumbfounded expression, "You guys fish?" I asked in a deadpan, "To what end?"
Twilight cocked her head, "What do you mean?"
I sighed, "Nevermind." To each their own, I guess, "You said there's Griffins?"
"Yes, however they're uncommon in Equestria. They have a larger population up north, towards their home country, Gryphus."
I nodded, "So... Griffons, Pegasuses, and Unicornses." I mused, "Are there any other mythical folks I should know about?"
"Pegasi and Unicorns," Twilight corrected, "And if you mean other species, ponies and griffons are the only species you'll run into in Equestria. There's Buffalo to the west, but their society prefers isolation."
I hummed at the comment, rubbing my chin absentmindedly. Unfortunately, the action served to remind me of an awkward predicament.
"Twilight, you wouldn't happen to have any razors, would you?" I asked, running my thumb across my chin, feeling the slight stubble growing in. The unicorn tilted her head in confusion at my actions, before noticing the beginnings of facial hair peeking out of my skin.
"No, but we can get you some at the market." She explained, "You don't have much hair apart from your head, but I'd assume you grow facial hair like ponies?"
... Okay, that comment amused me way more than it should have, and I was stuck with the hilarious mental image of Twilight fiddling with a long, grizzled beard like an elderly mage. After snickering for a moment, I nodded and gave an affirmative.
"Yeah, I'm going to need to shave, especially as long as I'm wearing this," I remarked, raising my sleeves in emphasis.
Twilight looked me up and down, "Why's that? And what's the purpose of the camouflage on your clothing?"
I pointed to my right breast pocket, "This is a Soldier's uniform, called an 'ACU,' or Army Combat Uniform," I explained, "The camoflage, called Operational Camoflage Pattern, among other practical purposes, serves to show that I'm a Soldier, as opposed to an Airman, Sailor, or Marine. As long as we're on-duty, we have to follow certain dress code. Until I have some normal clothes, I might as well continue respecting the code."
Twilight scribbled down several notes as I explained the significance, before looking back to me, "'Airman?'" She asked, "So there are humans that can fly?"
I laughed, shaking my head. "No, an Airman is a member of the Air Force. This means that they can serve as pilots if they're properly trained, but most of them are engineers."
"... most of them are engineers..." She muttered to herself, jotting down my explanation, "What about Marines and Sailors? Wouldn't they both work on boats?"
"Not really, Sailors are members of the Navy, so they work moreso on boats and whatnot, but Marines are like Soldiers, just serving as a group derived from the Navy."
Twilight paused for a moment, "So, if you're a Soldier, does that mean you've been in combat?"
I shook my head, "No, our military has a lot of different fields. I was basically..." I paused, trying to think of the proper words, "A journalist, or cameraman. I was in a unit that served domestically to report on information to the general public."
Twilight nodded, "I see!" She exclaimed, writing down a final note. After a brief pause, she continued, "I know it's not too similar, but my big brother, Shining Armor, is actually a Captain of the Canterlot Guard! Maybe it would help you adjust to life in Equestria meeting some of our Soldiers."
That actually caught my interest, and it explained that she wasn't too uneasy about my history. Her having a brother in the miltary was a surprise, but I wouldn't lie and say it was an unwelcome one. Back home, Service Members always stuck together and helped one another out, something I hope would carry over here. Still, I made a mental note to do more research on this Pony Military's culture.
... I NEVER thought I'd put those words together...
Regardless, I gave a appreciative smile, "I'd be happy to meet him, but I'm sure a Commander wouldn't have too much free time to meet a foreign Veteran." Especially not a junior enlisted...
Twilight gave a small frown, "I suppose you're right. Still, the Princess might be interested in learning more about you herself. If we go to Canterlot, it shouldn't be too difficult to meet with him when he's off-duty."
"Maybe so, but maybe we should take things one step at a time here," I replied, "I literally just wandered out of the woods yesterday, and you're talking about me meeting royalty. For now, we should just focus on the little things. Like getting me some normal clothing."
So far, my new host was showing me how big this new world was. If I wanted to live anything even close to a normal life, I had to start somewhere. Sure, maybe I should be working on more pressing issues, but if I bite off more than I could chew, I might get overwhelmed by culture shock. As it stands, clothes that don't scream out "Look at me! I'm different!" seemed to be the most simple and manageable task.
... Still, a Captain? Different worlds, different military customs, but should I still salute him?
Author's Note
I haven't written anything in quite a long while. Let's see how this goes.