How Laser-Pointers got banned in Equestria

by NeoLuna

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Royal Guard, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Bat Pony
Length: 1516

It turns out that laser pointers are able to control the minds of bat ponies

Laser Pointers are banned in Equestria, and if one is found its owner will not be getting a trial, parole, or a phone call. Why, well they kind of mind control bat ponies into acting like lemmings if it means catching that weird red dot.

WARNING!!! MLP MOVIE SPIOLERS!!!

Published 2017-10-28 18:40:10 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-28 18:40:10 UTC

All Hell Breaks Lose

It was a cool night out, stars shining, the moon washing Equestria with a silver light as its ponies slept soundly, a peaceful night if there ever was one, but that was all about to change.

The two royal sisters, Luna, Princess of the Night and Celestia, Princess of the day sat on one of the balconies of the royal palace, both staring hard at the chess board between them. Celestia picked up her last white pawn and used it to take one of here sister's black knights.

"Yes, you have fallen right into our trap dear sister, with only your king and one rook left, The Princess of The Night will finally have the victory she has earned through a hell of thousands of years of losses!"Luna said as she picked up here queen with her blue magical aura.

However, before she could end here move, the entire palace, along with the rest of the city, began to shake violently. Both Luna and Celestia were knocked from a seated positon to laying on the floor, and the table (and thus the chess set) where launched over the balcony railing, falling out of sight down into the gardens below.

"NOOOO!!!!! OWR WIN!!!" Luna yelled.

"NOT BUCKING NOW LULU, GUARDS! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!" Celestia yelled in her royal voice, a sound not heard in eons.

Two Lunar guards promptly crashed through the door to the room the balcony was connected to, but they were not there answering Celestia, the slits in their yellow cat-like eyes wider than what seemed possible. They charged past they royal sisters, leapt off the balcony, and flew out into the night at breakneck speeds. Celestia and Luna finally managed to get up on their hooves and look outside. What they saw left them dumbfounded. All of the Lunar guard, along with every bat-pony in the city was vacating the area as fast as possible, smashing through windows, doors, and even walls if it was the fastest way to their destination, Ponyville. It also seemed that the rest of the bat ponies from all of Equestria were heading to ponyville as well, being seen as tiny bat-winged shapes flying in over the horizon.

"S-Sister, what has occurred here...?" asked Luna out loud.

"Shouldn't YOU of all ponies know Luna, they basically WORSHIP you after all!!" Celestia yelled back.

"Sister, I-I had to hoof in this" stammered Luna.

"YEA RIGHT! Of course you did! This is obviously some kind of prank of yours, and it is NOT FUNNY!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH IM GOING TO HAVE TO RAISE TAXES TO FIX ALL THIS DAMAGE LULU?!!" Celestia roared in rage.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, Oh gosh this is RICH!! HAHAHAH, I-I HA, cant s-stoopp, HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" said a distorted voice.

"DISCORD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FAVORITE SUBJECTS?!!!!!" Luna screamed.

Discord promptly poped into view, lying in a floating pink armchair, clutching his chest and laughing so hard he was crying chocolate tears. After continuing for about 3 minutes nonstop, Discord finally managed to gain the ability to talk again. He turned to the two very angry and confused alicorns below him.

"Oh I wish I had done this, huge props to whoever pulled this off, Damn fine chaos here. Oh you might want to get to ponyville asap, unless you want everyone currently in Twilight's castle to be trampled to death by swarm of bat-ponies." said discord.

"So Twilight is responsible?" asked Luna.

"I have no clue, all I know is whatever or whoever started this masterpiece is in Twilights castle" Discord responded.

"We will investigate this, but if I find even a SHRED of evidence this was your doing, your going to be stone form another 1000 years I SWAER IT!" said Celestia.

Later, in ponyville...

As Luna and Celestia flew over ponyville, they saw what had become of the Friendship Castle. The entire bat pony population was crawling all over its surface, fighting to be the next to enter a window, door, or one of the many holes the stronger batponies had smashed in the walls. Celestia began to fly all over the town franticly calling her fellow princesses name.

"TWILIGHT? WHERE ARE YOU? TWILIGHT!!!" Celestia yelled in a panicked voice.

A flash of magenta magic was seen as Twilight teleported herself, Spike, Starlight, and Fizzlepop onto the roof of one of the few buildings that was still standing after the horde of batpoines had run or crashed through the town. Celestia and Luna flew down to meet them. The four of them were bruised to hell and back, and spike looked like he would be mentally scared for life.

"OH TWILIGHT WHAT HAPPNED TO YOU, IS ANYTHINHG BROKEN!?" Celestia said as she hugged her former student with her wings.

"I'm, I'm ok, so are the others, Celestia, what the buck is going on?" asked Twilight.

"We have no clue Twilight Sparkle, we had hoped you would be able to explain" said Luna.

"Well is was working on this new thing I created to help teachers in schools when an entire race of ponies lost their minds and attacked my home!" Twilight exclaimed as she showed the princesses her creation, which was lying on the floor a few feet away from her.

"How is such a thing related to this mad-"

"Hate to cut you off Luna, but the bat ponies are TURNING AROUND AND COMING FOR US NOW!" Yelled Starlight.

As the party looked towards the castle they saw Starlight was right, the Bat Ponies were infact charging right at them in one unified flying wall of fangs, bat wings, and insanely dilated eyes, all focused on the small metal object and the red dot it was casting on the edge of the roof. While the others began to recoil in fear, Fizzlepop looked to the bat ponies, then to Twilights creation, then back to the bat ponies. After putting two and two together, Fizzlepop raised a hoof and slammed it down in the small device, smashing it to bits.

Suddenly, all of the bat ponies eyes undilated, but they also lost coordination in flight, crashed into each other starting a chain reaction that ended with the entire population of bat ponies in Equestia strewn across the ruins of ponyville. One bat pony that was a Lunar Guard ended up on the roof the main party was on.

"Ug, what happened, last thing I knew I was at my post, then all I could see or think about was this red dot that I needed to catch or my life would end, Oh Princesses!" said the guard quickly saluting.

"Fizzilepop, how did you know destroying Twilight's device would stop this mahem?" asked Luna.

"When I was with the storm king, I would mess with Gubber by bouncing a sun ray around with a mirror and having him case it, just seemed like a similar situation." Fizzlepop responded.

"That would seem to be the case, Twilight, I want all records, research, notes, ANYTHING related to this thing you built destroyed, we cant risk this happening again!"

And that's how laser pointers got banned in Equestria.

Twilight's Creation

Twilight let out a giggle of excitement as she put her safety goggles on, she was about to revolutionize educational technology after all. Every weekend for the past four months Twilight had toiled in her lab to get the tiny device she was about to activate working. The lab was a large room with the same crystal construction as the rest of her castle, which also sported a pool, hot tub, 4 different studies, and a mini-golf course within its walls, at times Twilight wondered if here home broke the law of conservation of mass or not, but that was a question for another day.

Twilight trotted over to the large crystal slab that served as the lab's workbench. The workbench was insanely resilient to damage, many a potion had exploded on it during failed experiments, but it still did not have a single scratch on it. Twilight giggled when she remembered when spike had tried to eat it.

"I can still remember the look on Colgate's face when I told her how Spike broke his teeth that day"

On the middle of the workbench, surrounded by tools, notes, and random spare parts, was Twilights creation, a small metal tube with a diameter less then that of a bit. Twilight lifted it to her face with her magenta magic, revealing that one end of the device was made of glass, with the opposite being a small red button. She turned to face the chalk board on the wall to her right, aiming the glass end of her invention at a plus sign that was part of one of many complex math equations on it.

"Now, TO END THE DAYS OF THE WODDEN POINTING STICK!!" Twilight yelled at the top of her lungs as she gave the red button a push.

A click was heard, instantly followed by a tiny red dot appearing on the chalk board.