Batman vs. Batmareby Octavia_MelodyChapters1 - Batmare Begins2 - The Jester3 - Horsing Around4 - The Killing Joke1 - Batmare BeginsRarity, the prim and proper fashionista with white coat and purple mane, gasped in wonder as she trotted along with the crowd of visitors into the prestigious Hemline Manor, a large lavender stone complex on the top of a lily-filled grassy hill. She had been invited, along with several other ponies, by Prim Hemline, the neigh-infamous fashion critic to a charity event for sick fillies. It was rather late in the evening but the full moon shone down brightly, lighting Rarity's path. Rarity trotted past the gates, up the carpet lined guest staircase up to the main meeting room where a pile of burning logs sat crackling inside a massive fireplace. "For the chill of the evening, Miss Rarity." a stodgy old grey-coated, pink-maned mare spoke up. "Prim Hemline! It is simply an honor to meet you again!" Rarity cheered as she almost leapt in for a hug. Prim Hemline held out one hoof and shook her head. "Thank you for your enthusiasm but I must ask, do you have the check?" Hemline asked. "Yes, it's right here in my bag." Rarity said as she flipped open her saddle bag and pulled out a small slip of paper with her teeth. Hemline took the check in her hoof and scanned it. "1,000 bits." she read aloud, "It's not near as much as what some of the other donors are giving but the sick fillies of Manehattan thank you." "Well, I would give more but my donations to other groups are a bit spread out at the moment." Rarity admitted. "Thank you again, Miss Rarity." Hemline noted before trotting away. "Wait!" Rarity called out, "Don't you want to talk for a bit?" Hemline completely ignored Rarity as the white pony shuffled over to the fireplace where a certain pink pony with a curled purple mane leaned against the wall. "Suri Polomare!" Rarity huffed, "What are you doing here? I can't believe you were invited after that stunt you pulled!" "I'm just as suprised as you are, m'kay." Suri muttered in a much less enthusiastic than usual voice. "Never mind." Rarity said, still recalling the incident where Suri attempted to sabotage her during Hemline's fashion show. "Coco isn't here, m'kay." Suri spoke up, "I don't know why. That's what you were going to ask, right?" "Yes, but what do you care, after the way you treated her?" Rarity scolded, remembering how much Suri abused her former assistant. "I'm sorry." Suri said, "I truly am. I don't know how I could ever make it up to you." Rarity almost couldn't believe her ears but was still skeptical of Suri's apology. "You should be apologizing to poor Coco." Rarity advised. "I would, m'kay." Suri said, "But I haven't seen her for some time." "Serves you right!" Rarity replied, "Why would she ever want to see you again?" Both mares were interrupted by a loud strike of thunder as a streak of lightning flashed against the massive main window on the other side of the room and a downpour began. "Hmm...quite a storm the pegasi are brewing." Rarity spoke up, "Wonder why?" Rarity was answered by the crash of shattered glass as the window splintered into a thousand pieces and what appeared to be a giant black bat crashed into the room. The room was thrown in disarray as everypony gasped, panicked, and scattered. "Giant vampire bat!" Rarity screamed, "Run for your lives!" Rarity tried to gallop away herself but the "bat" caught her by the tail, revealing itself to be a tall humanoid creature, clad in black armor, wearing a cowl shaped like two bat ears and a long flowing cape that doubled as a glider. "Where am I?!" the creature demanded in a gravely voice. "Why...you're...here..." Rarity fretted nervously, trying to wrest from the creature's gasp. "Who are you?!" the creature continued. "Why...darling...I'm...I'm Rarity..." she answered, "And....who might you be?" "I'm Batman." the creature announced. Rarity gave a sharp buck with her back hooves and managed to knock Batman away. She galloped out of the mansion as fast as her hooves could carry her along with everypony else. Later that evening, the time when most Equestrians were asleep, workers were busy moving cargo onto a ship docked in Manehattan Harbor. In a dimly lit wharf building, Prim Hemline stood on a balcony catwalk with a sheepish, cream colored pony standing beside her. Coco Pommel had become Prim Hemline's assistant and it was not much of a trade-up from Suri Polomare. Prim Hemline stared down at the dock workers and sneered. "I need this shipment out by tonight!" Hemline ordered. "Are you sure nopony's going to notice us?" Coco fretted. "What do you think the fundraiser was for, Miss Pommel?" Hemline reminded her, "I had to make a little extra to pay off the dock manager. We haven't been getting quite the returns I expected from the last shipment of Smile." "Smile" was the street name of the pills Hemline helped smuggle, using fashion shows and fundraisers as a front. A single pill of "Smile" could leave a pony in an ecstatic, laughing daze for hours on end. Hemline was shipping it to distant parts of Equestria where laughter didn't come naturally. "But what about the sick fillies who need medical care?"Coco wondered. "Give them a dose of Smile and the poor dears won't even notice they're sick." Hemline said, only half joking. Coco shuddered, not just from Hemline's callous remark but what sounded like the flutter of wings behind her. She turned her neck to look behind her and gasped at what looked like a giant bat. "Bats!" Coco shouted. "Pipe down!" Hemline ordered as she also gasped when a large dark blur tackled her. Hemline found herself muzzle-to-muzzle with a stern looking pony in a black body suit, cape, and mask with pointed bat-ears. Hemline couldn't see the eyes behind the mask, only a white sheen. "Who...who are you?" Hemline demanded. "I'm Batmare." the pony answered gruffly. Hemline soon found herself hogtied as Batmare produced a length of rope from her satchel and tied the drug dealer to the catwalk. Batmare then chased after Coco, who galloped away in fear. Before Batmare could catch up with her, Coco was struck right in her muzzle by something metal and her mouth gushed blood. "Coco!!" Batmare called out as she ran after her. A bat-shaped metal boomerang clattered to the floor and a dazed and injured Coco tripped and fell off the catwalk right into an enormous storage vat full of chemicals. The pitiful pony plunged into the green liquid as Batmare reached out in vain to grab her. Another bat shaped shadow flung through the air as the human known as Batman retrieved his batarang. Batmare leapt off the catwalk and grabbed Batman in midair, causing him to lose his glide pattern and both "bats" collapsed to the floor. "You killed Coco!!" Batmare screamed. "Who's Coco?" Batman demanded. "My friend!" Batmare replied, "You made her fall into that vat of Celestia-knows-what!" Batman gasped as he had a flashback to a very similar incident in his own life and decided he should at least make an attempt to save the creature he might have very well killed. He launched his grappling hook to wrap around the catwalk and he flew into the air. Before he could even jump onto the catwalk, Coco burst out of the vat, both sides of her jaw caked with blood. The pony frantically gasped for air and flailed her hooves as Batman reached out to grab her. "Take my hand!" he called out, trying to grasp Coco's hoof. Batman stretched himself out on the catwalk and managed to grab hold of Coco's hooves. She pulled herself up onto the catwalk as Batman stepped back, startled by her appearance. "It can't be..." Batman whispered. Coco's blue hair was now a dark green, her cream coat now as white as Rarity's. Her mouth was a bloody mess with fresh wounds in the shape of a grin. She looked down at her reflection in the metal catwalk floor and laughed. She laughed and laughed until it rose into a maniacal cackle. "Ha-ha-ha-ha! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" Coco screamed, "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!' Batman fell back in utter disbelief that history was repeating itself and that he was the one responsible. He had only meant to stop the pony from getting away, not turn her into... Coco wiped the blood from her mouth and it soaked her fur red. She looked straight at Batman and gave a twisted grin. "What are you supposed to be?" Coco inquired, her voice now a frantic mocking tone, "A giant bat? A monster? Whatever you are, you're in my way." Coco lunged forward and galloped toward Batman like she was going to headbutt him, but Batman leapt over the side of the catwalk and glid safely to the ground. "Manehattan royal guard! Stay right where you are!" a large stallion called out as a large spotlight was suddenly shone on Batman. Batman held out his cape to block his eyes from the light, barely noticing the crowd of royal guards now surrounding him, all white and brown stallions in armor, wielding a spotlight attached to a flatbed carriage. Batman launched his grappling hook and leapt back into the air. The guards tried to keep their light on him but Batman was too quick and soon disappeared into the shadows. "Help! Help me you uncultured riff-raff!" Prim Hemline, still tied to the catwalk, called out to the dock workers. "Prim Hemline?" a guard questioned, "The fashion critic? She's been flooding drugs into Manehattan?" "Arrest her." the chief guard ordered. 2 - The JesterHemline and the dock workers were rounded up and processed at the Manehattan Police Department. Her confinement did not last long as she had connections with Mayor Mane, mayor of Manehattan, and was soon out on bail. The next day, Hemline met with Seaworthy, owner of Whaletale Wharfs in her office to discuss what was to become of her drug shipments. Seaworthy was a gruff grey stallion with an even greyer beard who always wore a yellow rain hat regardless of the weather. "Today Manehattan, tomorrow Equestria! That was the plan!" Hemline fumed, "Now the public knows everything! You have to make this disappear." "What do you expect me to do?" Seaworthy said, "This operation wasn't my idea." "Ship all of the remaining Smile out tomorrow." Hemline advised, "Dump it if you have to, as far away from Manehattan as possible, perhaps Saddle Arabia." "It will cost you triple what you were paying me, miss." Seaworthy said. "I'll pay you six times what you're worth if you can cover up this mess!" Hemline barked, "Oh and one more thing, find somepony who can 'take care' of Miss Pommel. The last thing I need is a guilt-ridden stool pigeon." "Guilt-ridden, you say? Stool pigeon?" a manic, if soft and familiar, voice spoke up, "Why, Miss Hemline, whatever do you mean?" "Miss Pommel..." Hemline stammered, "Is that you?" Coco was now decked out in a purple jester's outfit, complete with jingling bell cap and a certain golden scepter that had her own head sculpted on the tip. Her face was still Rari-white and it looked like she had stitched her wounds back together herself, giving her face a gruesome patchwork grin. "Call me Jester." the "Jester" announced. "You look ridiculous." Hemline said, "You've always had horrible sense in fashion. What a clown." "A clown? That's the idea." Coco continued, "That vat was full of pure, unprocessed Smile. Now I'm always smiling! Smile, smile, smile!" "Let's not turn this into a musical number." Hemline advised, "What do you want?" "What do I want?" Coco said as she menacingly trotted forward, "I want the same thing you want. To share smiles with everypony! Let's start with you, I don't think I've ever seen you smile, Miss Grumpypants." "Actually, Miss Grumpypants is my cousin in Las Pegasus." Hemline explained, "I'm not going to take Smile pills. If there's one rule I've learned it's never get high on your own supply." "You won't have to take the pills, because Smile is a real gas." Coco explained as a green vapor shot out from the mouth of the "Coco-cane". Hemline and Seaworthy couldn't help but breath in the gas and started laughing uncontrollably. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" they both screamed, "HA-HA-HA-HA! Please stop...can't stop laughing...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" "I'm not that funny." Coco mused, "Anyway, this cute little Coco-cane is nothing more than a small fog machine. All I had to do was mash some Smile pills into it and it concentrates into a vapor. Of course, it also has a much stronger effect. I call it Smile-Smile-Smile. Naturally, I'm immune." "No...musical....numbers..." Hemline begged before her lips curled and froze into a hideous permanent grin, as did Seaworthy's. Both ponies died from instant overdose, their faces petrified smiles. Coco giggled as she trotted over to them. "Look out, Manehattan! Here comes Coco!" Coco shouted in twisted glee, "No wait, how bout, 'Jester's back in town!'. But I'm not actually back...Let's try, 'This town needs a colonoscopy!' No...I've got it! 'Let's make Equestria great again!' That's it!" Later that evening, Suri found herself entering the Fashion Plaza auditorium, the same auditorium in which she had attempted to take credit for Rarity's designs. She could have almost sworn that she saw Coco Pommel gallop past her on the street and she had followed the mare inside. The auditorium was dark without the lights on and Suri could scarcely see in front of her. "Coco!" she called out, "Coco! Are you in here?! Look, I'm sorry, m'kay! I'm sorry for the way I treated you! Just let me see you!" All of a sudden, a bright beam of light shot across Suri's face and floated onto the center of the stage. A lone mare trotted out onto the stage as the spotlight focused on her. Coco was now dressed in a black-and-white striped mime's shirt and beret. She had also painted a black teardrop on her face. "Coco? Is that you?" Suri questioned. Coco nodded her head and processed to do rope tricks with an invisible lasso. She then mimicked throwing the lasso with her hooves and Suri felt an invisible rope tighten around her waist as Suri began to pull her up onto the stage. "Coco? You can do magic?" Suri asked. "Wrong!" Coco shouted, now nose-to-nose with Suri, "Oops. Mimes aren't supposed to speak. Anyways, it's invisible paint. See? I mean, don't see?' Coco then kicked an open paint bucket at Suri and the mare was splashed all over with invisible paint, most of her body becoming completely transparent. Only a few blotches of her pink fur remained. "What have you done?!" Suri yelped, "I can't see myself!" "New supervillain, Invisi-mare!" Coco suggested, "We can be partners in crime!" "Supervillains?" Suri questioned. "Or maybe because of the way you treated me I'll just set you on fire." Coco pondered, "Invisible paint is flammable. Inferna-mare!" Coco produced a small matchbox and lit one of the matches. "No wait! Please!!" Suri begged. "I always thought you were kind of hot." Coco admitted, flicking the match toward Suri. "NOOOO!!" Suri screamed, just as she felt something swoop down and pull her up into the air. Suri shrieked as she found herself face to face with the "bat creature" who now had her in his arms and had wrapped his grapping hook around the top spotlight beams. Batman extended his cape and glid safely down onto the floor, placing the quasi-visible Suri down and fleeing. "Wait! Let me see your face, m'kay!" Suri called out, chasing after Batman. By this time, the stage was on fire due to the flammable paint residue and even Coco was feeling the heat. "I'm not really...feeling the burn." she quipped as she galloped out of the building after Suri. Outside, a growing crowd of citizens gasped as they noticed smoke rising. They also noticed a blurry bat-man run by, as well as a running pair of legs with nothing attached, as Suri was still half covered in paint. Suri noticed an open sewer cover in the road and climbed down the hole. As much as she hated too, Suri splashed sewer water on herself and began to wipe away the rest of the paint until she could see herself in the water's reflection. "Invisible paint." she noted, "I need to remember that trick." Suri continued to make her way down the dank sewer, but noted it was well lit by swarms of lightning bugs. She could faintly hear the sound of running ahead of her. "M'kay...bat...man!" she shouted, "I know you're down here! Maybe I can help you!" Suri walked deeper into the sewer and gasped as she felt someone grab her. Batman placed a hand over her mouth and whispered into her ear. "I'm going to let go. Promise you won't scream." he said. Suri nodded and Batman let her go. She coughed a bit from the sewer water and cleared her throat. "I'm Suri Polomare, m'kay." she announced, "You are the bat man?" "I'm Batman." Batman said, "Do you have any idea what this place is or how I got here?" "This is the city of Manehattan, m'kay." Suri explained, "Hundreds of ponies live here. It's part of Equestria, the land where we ponies live, m'kay. You're a...human...right? I thought you were just a myth." "And I thought talking animals were just a myth." Batman said, "I figured that this was all just a dream, but now I can't wake up.' "Why did you save me?" Suri asked, "How did you know I was there?" "I've been tracking that one pony since last night. The one that looks like..." Batman replied, "I just happened to find you with her." "That used to be Coco Pommel." Suri said, "She was my former assistant, m'kay. I was mean and abusive toward her and now I'm trying to make up for it, but somehow she turned into that...clown." "That was my fault." Batman admitted, "I was at the wharf last night, looking for answers. I tried to take down a drug ring out of sheer habit. That pony was caught up in it." "I know." Suri said, "I was there. Follow me, m'kay." Suri lead Batman deep into the sewer, where it trailed off into a bat-infested cave. Bats swarmed around the human stranger but Batman felt right at home. Suri pushed aside a large boulder and produced a pony-sized bat costume from a hidden corridor. She placed it on and Batman almost chuckled when Suri put on the duplicate cowl. "I'm Batmare." Suri announced. Batman couldn't help but break into an eerie laugh that made Suri cringe. "You're Batmare?" Batman questioned, "How? Why?" "I got the idea from a comic book shop." Suri/Batmare explained, "I read a comic about a mare who became a superhero after her parents were killed. She devoted herself to fighting crime. I thought I could do the same. I think she was called Mare-Do-Well but I didn't like the name." "Your voice sounds different when you put the mask on." Batman noted, "Harsher. No verbal tic." "Maybe that's the pony I wanna be." Batmare said. "Do you know where the clown pony will strike next?" Batman asked. "Strike next?" Batmare asked. "If your pony friend is anything like the clowns I know then she's planning something terrible." Batman said, "At the very least, she'll probably try to kill you again." "I know I was mean to her but I didn't think she would try to burn me alive." Batmare mused, "It was that vat of chemicals, a concentrated form of the drug. It warped her mind. There's got to be a way to get the real Coco back." "But maybe that's the pony she wants to be." Batman suggested. 3 - Horsing AroundThe following morning, after having decided to sleep in, the fashion-obsessed pony known as Rarity was awakened by a loud knock at the door of her hotel room. She slowly trotted to the door as she wiped the crust from her eyelids. "Hold your horses...." Rarity said with a yawn, "I've not even put on my fake eyelashes...I mean mascara...I mean I always look like this." Rarity lazily turned the doorknob with her telekinetic horn and the door swung open to reveal a frantic looking Suri Polomare. Suri practically tackled Rarity as she leapt into the room. "You've got to get out of here, m'kay!" Suri begged, "There's not much time." "Suri...*yawn*...Polomare?" Rarity questioned, "What are you talking about?" "You're in terrible danger, m'kay." Suri answered, "Coco's gone insane. All of Manehattan could be in trouble. Just take the first train back to Ponyville." "I know what this is." Rarity said, "You're just trying to run me out of town because you're still bitter that you got found out." "That's not it at all!" Suri continued, "You have to-" "Someone's been stealing my act and I think you know why, horse!" a strange manic voice said from behind Suri. Suri gasped and struggled as she felt herself being yanked by the throat. She was face to face with another human, an odd, menacing looking man in an old-fashioned purple suit. He had the same white pallor, green hair, and red lips that Coco now had and a disturbingly wide permanent grin. The worst thing about him was the malicious red tint behind his dark green eyes. "I've been trailing you ever since I got dumped into this backwater fairytale!" the Joker explained, "You and that knockoff trying to step on my routine! But I lost track of little miss 'Diet Joker'. Bleh. How dare she try to cash in on my image?! I'll rip her lungs out! There's only one Joker in town!" "What...what are you... talking...about....?" Suri struggled to say as the Joker's white hands clutched her throat, "Who...are...you?" "Put her down this instant, you monster!" Rarity threatened, her horn glowing with anger. Suri managed to kick the Joker in the stomach with her hind legs and wrest free from his grasp. The Joker keeled over and snarled, pulling out an absurdly long barreled revolver from under his coat. "What is that thing?" Rarity questioned, "And why is it so long?" "You'll find out." the Joker said as he aimed it right at her head. Before the Clown Prince of Crime could fire a shot he was kicked from behind and collapsed to the floor. The "long-gun" flung from his hand and knocked against the wall. The Joker started to get up again only to feel a hoof stomping on his back. "Miss Polomare is mine to torment, not yours." Coco, now back in her "Jester" outfit, warned, "I'm the only clown for this town." "You..." the Joker growled, "You miserable little bootleg brat. Where do you get off stealing my routine?!" "I can't explain it." Coco said, "All I know is that I want to make Manehattan great again." "Dead political memes?!" the Joker questioned, "That's the best this story can come up with?!" "Don't hate the player, hate the game." Coco quipped. "Here's a real gag for you, Jared Leto!" the Joker yelled as he grabbed Coco's front hoof and pressed it into his electric joy buzzer. Coco quivered uncontrollably as electricity surged through her body. Her eyes rolled back into her head and her tongue hung from her mouth as she sprawled on the floor, smoke rising from her singed fur. "Coco!!" Suri yelped. "She's dead..." Rarity whispered, tears trickling from her eyes, "You fiend..." "She's been horsewhipped." the Joker said, "So who's next?" Rarity charged at the Joker in a blind rage. He was about to fill her skull with as many volts as he could muster but suddely found himself slammed right into the wall. A familiar black glove grabbed him by the nape of his shirt. "I'll break you in two!" Batman threatened, raising his fist. "Yes, yes Batsy." the Joker mused, "You say that all the time. I kill a few people, we fight, you threaten to kill me, they throw me in Arkham, I escape, and then we start the whole game again. How many years have we been at this?" "Maybe I won't kill you, but we're not in Gotham anymore." Batman warned, "The beings here might not hesitate." "These puny little pacifists?" the Joker mocked, "They couldn't kill a joke. Get it? Killing joke?" Batman punched the Joker in the jaw, making the clown's lips bleed but not much else. The mad clown then produced a stiletto blade from his sleeve, swiping Batman on the cheek, distracting him just enough to slip away to the staircase. Batman ran after his nemesis, leaving the three ponies to fend for themselves. "Poor Coco..." Suri lamented, starting to cry herself, "How did this happen?" "I can't...I just can't..." Rarity wept. "But I can..." Coco whispered hoarsely. "Coco! You're alive!" Rarity shouted in glee, hugging her friend's neck but then yelped after getting zapped by static residue, "Ouch!" "Are you 'shocked' that I survived?" Coco asked as she got up back on her hooves, "It takes more than that to kill a pony." "She's right." Suri noted, "Pegasi get struck by lightning all the time and shake it off." "You scared us for a minute, darling." Rarity added. "Good. I want you to be scared." Coco said, "This city deserves a better class of scary clown and I'm gonna give it to them." "Snap out of it!" Rarity huffed, "What's gotten into you?" "The same thing that's gonna get into you, Rariberry!" Coco said as she galloped away out of sight, "Smile-Smile-Smile!" "Oh, like the song!" Rarity recalled, "Come on every pony, smile, smile, smile!" "I wish it were that." Suri pondered, slipping into her "Batmare" voice, "I think she's going to flood the city with poison." 4 - The Killing JokeLater that evening, Rarity and Suri were having coffee at the Marebucks cafe where Suri worked her day job. They noticed a large crowd gathering outside and a series of bright flashing lights and loudspeaker music to the tune of "Smile! Smile! Smile!". "What is all that racket?" Rarity asked. "It's her. Coco." Suri realized, "She actually planned something, m'kay." "Planned what? Rarity wondered. Both ponies trotted outside only for their jaws to drop in awe at the sight of large colorful parade floats, each one having a giant tethered balloon version of the Elements of Harmony/Mane Six attached to them. "Is that supposed to be me?" Rarity asked, noticing the "Rari-loon", "It really captures my eyes." "Look! It's Coco!" Suri shouted, pointing with her hoof. Rarity could barely see Coco, still in her jester costume, dancing around on the last float and twirling her "Coco-cane" scepter. A giant Twilight Sparkle balloon floated above her. "They really didn't get Twilight down pat." Rarity noted, "Wrong shade of purple." "Is that candy?" Suri wondered. Coco was randomly tossing pieces of candy, hard and chocolate alike, to the crowd who nearly trampeled over each other trying to get it. "The nerve of some ponies." Rarity complained, "Acting like savages over candy." "At least she isn't throwing bits." Suri said. As soon as she had said that, a gold bitcoin smacked Suri in the forehead. Coco was now tossing out bits and the crowd was literally bucking and pummeling each other to get them. "Is she trying to start a riot?" Rarity asked, "Where did all the floats and balloons come from anyway?" "I think Manehattan was planning a Hearth's Warming Eve parade to honor your friends, m'kay." Suri explained, "Coco must have broken the floats out of storage months ahead of time!" Suddenly, several ponies in the crowd broke out into boisterous, uncontrollable laughter and collapsed to the ground with frozen rictus grins. Anyone who had eaten the candy was now poisoned with "Smile-Smile-Smile" and died laughing. "She really is trying to poison the city!" Rarity shouted, "How could Coco even think of doing such a thing?!" "She isn't Coco anymore, m'kay." Suri said with tears in her eyes. A stallion galloped up right up to Rarity and laughed in her face then fell out on the street. Rarity tried shaking him but he only laughed even more. "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" he screamed, "He told me not to eat the candy...but I didn't listen! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" "Snap out of it!" Rarity begged as she slapped the poor fellow with her hoof. The stallion did stop laughing, gasped for air, and then died with a fixed smile. "What in Celestia's name have you done, Coco?!!" Rarity screamed in agony. "Wait, who told him not to eat the candy?" Suri wondered. "I did." said an all-too-familiar maniacal male voice, "If anyone's going to kill off this pretty little town with laughing gas then it's going to be me!" The Joker stepped out of the crowd and grabbed Rarity by the neck. He then held her muzzle right up to the orange flower attached to his jacket and forced her to breath in the knockout gas from the flower. He then ran off with the white pony back into the crowed leaving an echoing trail of laughter. "HA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!" the Joker screamed. Suri found the nearest sewer grate, opened it up and swiftly climbed down. On the main parade float, where Coco was still dancing, one of the ponies who now worked for her, a gruff stallion in mime makeup, trotted up to her. "Miss Jester." the henchpony announced, "We've still got an active crowd. I don't think they're all eating the candy." "Time for Plan B!" Coco ordered, "Cut the balloons!" "Of course, Miss Jester." the henchpony said, "Are you sure about this?" "We want to make all of Manehattan smile, right?" Coco answered, "Besides, mimes aren't supposed to speak." Coco slapped the stallion with her "Coco-cane" and the stallion motioned for the rest of the henchponies to cut the balloons. On each float, a "mime" took a knife and cut open the Mane Six balloons, releasing a lethal mixture of helium and Smile gas. Each of the mimes put on a gas mask and waited for the toxin to take effect on the crowd. Suddenly, a "bat creature" flew through the air and severed the strings on each of the balloons. Batman was gliding along using his cape, also wearing a gas mask. He had sharpened metal attached to the ends of his cape so he acted like a giant batarang. The balloons flew up high into the air, away from anypony's reach, and what little gas had leaked out disappated before anypony could breath it in. "He stole my balloons!" Coco yelped, "You big meanie!!" Batman landed on the main float and the mime ponies tried to attack him. Batman easily fended them off, kicking each pony over the side of the float. Coco then threw her scepter at Batman but he blocked it with his cape. Batman tackled the crazed pony and nearly strangled her, holding her neck off the edge of the float. "What's wrong with you, woman?!" Batman shouted, "Murdering your own kind?! You really are the Joker!" "Whadda ya gonna do, human?" Coco taunted, "Hold me under the float? Crush me? You wouldn't dare!" "What makes you think I won't?!" Batman threatened. "If you can't even kill the mad clown of your own world, then you sure as hay won't kill me." Coco said, "You don't understand. You could never understand. I was going to make Manehattan great again! I was going to make everypony smile and you ruined it!" Coco then burst into tears and then laughter. She frantically switched between laughs and sobs and Batman realized that a part of her was trying to fight off the effects of Smile. Batman almost considered letting her go but then just simply tied her hooves together with wire from his utility belt. "Help...me..." Coco pleaded in her normal voice, "Tell everypony...I'm sorry..." Coco tried to fling herself underneath the float out of guilt but Batman caught her and took the madpony in his arms. He then shot his grappling hook into a nearby building and launched into the air. Meanwhile, the Joker still had Rarity hostage and broke into Prim Hemline's old office building. He had discovered that this was where Coco was keeping the remaining barrels of liquid Smile and he had his own plans for it. The effects of the Joker's knockout gas slowly wore off and Rarity fluttered her eyes opened and yawned. She examined her surroundings only to find herself suspended thousands of feet in the air by rope from the side of Hemline's building. Below her she could just barely see the street and dozens of frantic ponies looking as small as insects. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Rarity shrieked in horror. The Joker, who was standing on the balcony, stuck his fingers in his ears at the mare's piercing scream. "Any louder and they might actually hear you in Gotham!" the Joker complained. "Put me down!" Rarity demanded, "Let me go, you ruffian! What do you want with me?! Who are you?!" "Oh, I suppose I never formally introduced myself." the Joker said with a mocking bow, "People call me 'The Joker', after the playing card. Actually, that's what I call myself. As for my real name, that's never been made canon. I guess you could say I'm old Guano Man's archnemesis and all, but I prefer to think of it as a professional partnership." "You're not making the least bit of sense!" Rarity noted, "What do I have to do with any of this lunacy?!" "You, my pasty equine friend, are bait." the Joker explained, "Sooner or later, either Batfart, the idiot horse that thinks she's me, or your even stupider horse friend that thinks she's Batfart, is going to come looking for you. That's right, I've figured out everything! I plan to kill two bats with one stone! The moment any one of them finds me, I'll be clean away while this whole building is set to blow to Alex Ross's Kingdom Come! In any case, you never did the honor of telling me your name." "I'm not going to tell you." Rarity huffed, "You don't need to know. Monsters like you never win. Somepony will rescue me." "I hate to break it to you, diamond butt." the Joker continued, noticing Rarity's cutie mark, "Maybe you're used to such sunshiny optimism in your world, but where I come from people die all the time and 'nopony's' there to save them. Bleh. Now I've started saying 'anypony'." "Just one question, though." Rarity spoke up, "Who in Celestia's name is Alex Ross?" Before the Joker could answer, he was once again tackled to the ground, this time by Batmare. Suri had once again donned the mantle of the bat and was pummeling the Joker's face in with her hoof. The Joker coughed and sputtered blood and his left eye started to go black and puffy. He still laughed in Batmare's face and spat blood that went right up her nostril. "Disgusting..." Batmare noted, "Now let the poor mare go." Batmare motioned to Rarity who chuckled nervously. "Poor choice of words." the Joker said, revealing a hidden Batarang up his sleeve that he had stolen. The Joker took the Batarang in two of his fingers and flicked it with enough muster in Rarity's direction that it severed the rope suspending her and sent the mare plummeting to her doom. "AAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Rarity shrieked again. Before she could become horseloaf splattered on the sidewalk, Rarity felt herself being caught and swept away by a dark blur. She then found herself looking into the eyes of Batman, who had managed to catch her in time, still swinging on his grappling hook. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Rarity screamed in Batman's face. "I'm trying to save you, kid!" Batman shouted back. Batman let his grapping hook extend as far as it could go as he swung high into the air, Rarity still in one arm. He extended his cape, using it as a glider. The surviving ponies on the ground gasped in awe as the "giant bat" reflected against the moonlight. Batman managed to land on the same balcony where Batmare had wrangled the Joker. Rarity wrestled out of Batman's grasp and hugged Batmare tightly, the only one out of the loony group she trusted. The Joker slowly struggled to get up, free from Batmare's hooves and faced Batman. "Well, Batsy! Looks like the joke's on you!" the Joker shouted, "I rigged this place to blow sky high! The bottom floor's full of barrels of that bootleg Smile crud that's nowhere near as quality a product as my Smilex gas! But on the plus side it has some very explosive properties!" The Joker produced a remote detonator from under his coat which would send another signal to a detonator attached to the barrels to completely collapse the foundation of the building. "I'm sure you'll escape Bats, but you won't be able to save the hundreds of ponies who can't!" Joker screamed with a maniacal laugh. The Joker screamed again, this time from a Batarang that cut straight into his wrist, causing it to gush blood and forcing him to drop the detonator. Batman grabbed the detonator and crushed it with his gauntlets, but frowned because was not the one who threw the Batarang. The Joker clutched his wrist and snarled, looking behind him. Coco, still the Jester, stared him down with a bemused smirk on her face. "I'm not going to let you have all the fun." she said, "In fact, I won't let you have any. This is my city, you pathetic clod of a clown!" "Imputent little brat!" the Joker warned, "Who do you think you're talking to?" "Not a comedian, that's for sure." Coco jibed, "You aren't even good for a laugh." "I'll rip out your guts and turn them to glue, horse!!" the Joker shouted as he lunged at Coco with mad ferocity. The Joker held Coco down as tightly as he could manage and squeezed her throat even tighter. "Laugh, you little equine bitch!" the Joker screamed, "C'mon, LAUGH!! I can't hear you!!" "Ha....ha...." Coco managed to say as she choked, managing to get one hoof free and jabbing it right into the Joker's throat. The Joker was forced to clutch his own throat as he was completely out of breath. Coco soon wriggled free and kicked up her hind legs, bucking the Joker clean off the balcony, into the open air. The Joker tried to scream as he flew off the building, but he didn't have the breath. "That's...not....funny...." he managed to say between gasps as he plummeted to the ground. Back on the balcony, Batman peered over the side, looking for any signs of where the Joker had landed. "I don't seem him." he remarked, "Not good. He's survived worse before." "How could anypony survive that?" Rarity asked. "You don't know the Joker." Batman replied. "I do..." Coco spoke up, "I am the Joker...but I...don't want to be...how do I....?" "Coco?" Batmare, back in her Suri voice, "Is that you? Are you back?" "Can't control it..." Coco admitted, "Back and forth....the Smile...is too much...I can't....HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" In her madness, Coco galloped to leap off the building herself but accidentally stepped on the Joker's flower that had fallen off his jacket during the struggle. Knockout gas wasn't the only trick up the Joker's sleeve as the flower also contained a small pouch of corrosive acid. The acid spewed right into Coco's face, covering the left side of it. Coco screamed in agony as half the flesh on her face melted and she pressed her muzzle into the ground. "COCO!!" Rarity shouted, running over too her and hugging her. Batman took a small vial of antiseptic from his utlity belt and poured it on Coco's burning face. He then took a strip of gauze and wrapped it as best he could. "It won't prevent the scarring, but it should prevent an infection." Batman advised, "She needs to get to a hospital." "I'll take her." Batmare said. "You'll have to tell the police what happened." Batman instructed, "Do you even have a police?" "We have a royal guard." Batmare explained, "I know that Coco will have to go on trial. This isn't going to be easy." Batman spread out his cape into the glider position and prepared to jump from the building himself. "Where are you going?" Batmare asked. "I have to find the Joker." Batman said, "More of your kind will die if he's still alive." "Thank you." Batmare said with tears in her eyes. "I'm the one that should be thanking you." Batman replied as he lept off into the night. "So what happens now?" Rarity wondered. "We bring Manehattan back." Batmare said, "We make Equestria great again."
1 - Batmare BeginsRarity, the prim and proper fashionista with white coat and purple mane, gasped in wonder as she trotted along with the crowd of visitors into the prestigious Hemline Manor, a large lavender stone complex on the top of a lily-filled grassy hill. She had been invited, along with several other ponies, by Prim Hemline, the neigh-infamous fashion critic to a charity event for sick fillies. It was rather late in the evening but the full moon shone down brightly, lighting Rarity's path. Rarity trotted past the gates, up the carpet lined guest staircase up to the main meeting room where a pile of burning logs sat crackling inside a massive fireplace. "For the chill of the evening, Miss Rarity." a stodgy old grey-coated, pink-maned mare spoke up. "Prim Hemline! It is simply an honor to meet you again!" Rarity cheered as she almost leapt in for a hug. Prim Hemline held out one hoof and shook her head. "Thank you for your enthusiasm but I must ask, do you have the check?" Hemline asked. "Yes, it's right here in my bag." Rarity said as she flipped open her saddle bag and pulled out a small slip of paper with her teeth. Hemline took the check in her hoof and scanned it. "1,000 bits." she read aloud, "It's not near as much as what some of the other donors are giving but the sick fillies of Manehattan thank you." "Well, I would give more but my donations to other groups are a bit spread out at the moment." Rarity admitted. "Thank you again, Miss Rarity." Hemline noted before trotting away. "Wait!" Rarity called out, "Don't you want to talk for a bit?" Hemline completely ignored Rarity as the white pony shuffled over to the fireplace where a certain pink pony with a curled purple mane leaned against the wall. "Suri Polomare!" Rarity huffed, "What are you doing here? I can't believe you were invited after that stunt you pulled!" "I'm just as suprised as you are, m'kay." Suri muttered in a much less enthusiastic than usual voice. "Never mind." Rarity said, still recalling the incident where Suri attempted to sabotage her during Hemline's fashion show. "Coco isn't here, m'kay." Suri spoke up, "I don't know why. That's what you were going to ask, right?" "Yes, but what do you care, after the way you treated her?" Rarity scolded, remembering how much Suri abused her former assistant. "I'm sorry." Suri said, "I truly am. I don't know how I could ever make it up to you." Rarity almost couldn't believe her ears but was still skeptical of Suri's apology. "You should be apologizing to poor Coco." Rarity advised. "I would, m'kay." Suri said, "But I haven't seen her for some time." "Serves you right!" Rarity replied, "Why would she ever want to see you again?" Both mares were interrupted by a loud strike of thunder as a streak of lightning flashed against the massive main window on the other side of the room and a downpour began. "Hmm...quite a storm the pegasi are brewing." Rarity spoke up, "Wonder why?" Rarity was answered by the crash of shattered glass as the window splintered into a thousand pieces and what appeared to be a giant black bat crashed into the room. The room was thrown in disarray as everypony gasped, panicked, and scattered. "Giant vampire bat!" Rarity screamed, "Run for your lives!" Rarity tried to gallop away herself but the "bat" caught her by the tail, revealing itself to be a tall humanoid creature, clad in black armor, wearing a cowl shaped like two bat ears and a long flowing cape that doubled as a glider. "Where am I?!" the creature demanded in a gravely voice. "Why...you're...here..." Rarity fretted nervously, trying to wrest from the creature's gasp. "Who are you?!" the creature continued. "Why...darling...I'm...I'm Rarity..." she answered, "And....who might you be?" "I'm Batman." the creature announced. Rarity gave a sharp buck with her back hooves and managed to knock Batman away. She galloped out of the mansion as fast as her hooves could carry her along with everypony else. Later that evening, the time when most Equestrians were asleep, workers were busy moving cargo onto a ship docked in Manehattan Harbor. In a dimly lit wharf building, Prim Hemline stood on a balcony catwalk with a sheepish, cream colored pony standing beside her. Coco Pommel had become Prim Hemline's assistant and it was not much of a trade-up from Suri Polomare. Prim Hemline stared down at the dock workers and sneered. "I need this shipment out by tonight!" Hemline ordered. "Are you sure nopony's going to notice us?" Coco fretted. "What do you think the fundraiser was for, Miss Pommel?" Hemline reminded her, "I had to make a little extra to pay off the dock manager. We haven't been getting quite the returns I expected from the last shipment of Smile." "Smile" was the street name of the pills Hemline helped smuggle, using fashion shows and fundraisers as a front. A single pill of "Smile" could leave a pony in an ecstatic, laughing daze for hours on end. Hemline was shipping it to distant parts of Equestria where laughter didn't come naturally. "But what about the sick fillies who need medical care?"Coco wondered. "Give them a dose of Smile and the poor dears won't even notice they're sick." Hemline said, only half joking. Coco shuddered, not just from Hemline's callous remark but what sounded like the flutter of wings behind her. She turned her neck to look behind her and gasped at what looked like a giant bat. "Bats!" Coco shouted. "Pipe down!" Hemline ordered as she also gasped when a large dark blur tackled her. Hemline found herself muzzle-to-muzzle with a stern looking pony in a black body suit, cape, and mask with pointed bat-ears. Hemline couldn't see the eyes behind the mask, only a white sheen. "Who...who are you?" Hemline demanded. "I'm Batmare." the pony answered gruffly. Hemline soon found herself hogtied as Batmare produced a length of rope from her satchel and tied the drug dealer to the catwalk. Batmare then chased after Coco, who galloped away in fear. Before Batmare could catch up with her, Coco was struck right in her muzzle by something metal and her mouth gushed blood. "Coco!!" Batmare called out as she ran after her. A bat-shaped metal boomerang clattered to the floor and a dazed and injured Coco tripped and fell off the catwalk right into an enormous storage vat full of chemicals. The pitiful pony plunged into the green liquid as Batmare reached out in vain to grab her. Another bat shaped shadow flung through the air as the human known as Batman retrieved his batarang. Batmare leapt off the catwalk and grabbed Batman in midair, causing him to lose his glide pattern and both "bats" collapsed to the floor. "You killed Coco!!" Batmare screamed. "Who's Coco?" Batman demanded. "My friend!" Batmare replied, "You made her fall into that vat of Celestia-knows-what!" Batman gasped as he had a flashback to a very similar incident in his own life and decided he should at least make an attempt to save the creature he might have very well killed. He launched his grappling hook to wrap around the catwalk and he flew into the air. Before he could even jump onto the catwalk, Coco burst out of the vat, both sides of her jaw caked with blood. The pony frantically gasped for air and flailed her hooves as Batman reached out to grab her. "Take my hand!" he called out, trying to grasp Coco's hoof. Batman stretched himself out on the catwalk and managed to grab hold of Coco's hooves. She pulled herself up onto the catwalk as Batman stepped back, startled by her appearance. "It can't be..." Batman whispered. Coco's blue hair was now a dark green, her cream coat now as white as Rarity's. Her mouth was a bloody mess with fresh wounds in the shape of a grin. She looked down at her reflection in the metal catwalk floor and laughed. She laughed and laughed until it rose into a maniacal cackle. "Ha-ha-ha-ha! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" Coco screamed, "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!' Batman fell back in utter disbelief that history was repeating itself and that he was the one responsible. He had only meant to stop the pony from getting away, not turn her into... Coco wiped the blood from her mouth and it soaked her fur red. She looked straight at Batman and gave a twisted grin. "What are you supposed to be?" Coco inquired, her voice now a frantic mocking tone, "A giant bat? A monster? Whatever you are, you're in my way." Coco lunged forward and galloped toward Batman like she was going to headbutt him, but Batman leapt over the side of the catwalk and glid safely to the ground. "Manehattan royal guard! Stay right where you are!" a large stallion called out as a large spotlight was suddenly shone on Batman. Batman held out his cape to block his eyes from the light, barely noticing the crowd of royal guards now surrounding him, all white and brown stallions in armor, wielding a spotlight attached to a flatbed carriage. Batman launched his grappling hook and leapt back into the air. The guards tried to keep their light on him but Batman was too quick and soon disappeared into the shadows. "Help! Help me you uncultured riff-raff!" Prim Hemline, still tied to the catwalk, called out to the dock workers. "Prim Hemline?" a guard questioned, "The fashion critic? She's been flooding drugs into Manehattan?" "Arrest her." the chief guard ordered.
2 - The JesterHemline and the dock workers were rounded up and processed at the Manehattan Police Department. Her confinement did not last long as she had connections with Mayor Mane, mayor of Manehattan, and was soon out on bail. The next day, Hemline met with Seaworthy, owner of Whaletale Wharfs in her office to discuss what was to become of her drug shipments. Seaworthy was a gruff grey stallion with an even greyer beard who always wore a yellow rain hat regardless of the weather. "Today Manehattan, tomorrow Equestria! That was the plan!" Hemline fumed, "Now the public knows everything! You have to make this disappear." "What do you expect me to do?" Seaworthy said, "This operation wasn't my idea." "Ship all of the remaining Smile out tomorrow." Hemline advised, "Dump it if you have to, as far away from Manehattan as possible, perhaps Saddle Arabia." "It will cost you triple what you were paying me, miss." Seaworthy said. "I'll pay you six times what you're worth if you can cover up this mess!" Hemline barked, "Oh and one more thing, find somepony who can 'take care' of Miss Pommel. The last thing I need is a guilt-ridden stool pigeon." "Guilt-ridden, you say? Stool pigeon?" a manic, if soft and familiar, voice spoke up, "Why, Miss Hemline, whatever do you mean?" "Miss Pommel..." Hemline stammered, "Is that you?" Coco was now decked out in a purple jester's outfit, complete with jingling bell cap and a certain golden scepter that had her own head sculpted on the tip. Her face was still Rari-white and it looked like she had stitched her wounds back together herself, giving her face a gruesome patchwork grin. "Call me Jester." the "Jester" announced. "You look ridiculous." Hemline said, "You've always had horrible sense in fashion. What a clown." "A clown? That's the idea." Coco continued, "That vat was full of pure, unprocessed Smile. Now I'm always smiling! Smile, smile, smile!" "Let's not turn this into a musical number." Hemline advised, "What do you want?" "What do I want?" Coco said as she menacingly trotted forward, "I want the same thing you want. To share smiles with everypony! Let's start with you, I don't think I've ever seen you smile, Miss Grumpypants." "Actually, Miss Grumpypants is my cousin in Las Pegasus." Hemline explained, "I'm not going to take Smile pills. If there's one rule I've learned it's never get high on your own supply." "You won't have to take the pills, because Smile is a real gas." Coco explained as a green vapor shot out from the mouth of the "Coco-cane". Hemline and Seaworthy couldn't help but breath in the gas and started laughing uncontrollably. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" they both screamed, "HA-HA-HA-HA! Please stop...can't stop laughing...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" "I'm not that funny." Coco mused, "Anyway, this cute little Coco-cane is nothing more than a small fog machine. All I had to do was mash some Smile pills into it and it concentrates into a vapor. Of course, it also has a much stronger effect. I call it Smile-Smile-Smile. Naturally, I'm immune." "No...musical....numbers..." Hemline begged before her lips curled and froze into a hideous permanent grin, as did Seaworthy's. Both ponies died from instant overdose, their faces petrified smiles. Coco giggled as she trotted over to them. "Look out, Manehattan! Here comes Coco!" Coco shouted in twisted glee, "No wait, how bout, 'Jester's back in town!'. But I'm not actually back...Let's try, 'This town needs a colonoscopy!' No...I've got it! 'Let's make Equestria great again!' That's it!" Later that evening, Suri found herself entering the Fashion Plaza auditorium, the same auditorium in which she had attempted to take credit for Rarity's designs. She could have almost sworn that she saw Coco Pommel gallop past her on the street and she had followed the mare inside. The auditorium was dark without the lights on and Suri could scarcely see in front of her. "Coco!" she called out, "Coco! Are you in here?! Look, I'm sorry, m'kay! I'm sorry for the way I treated you! Just let me see you!" All of a sudden, a bright beam of light shot across Suri's face and floated onto the center of the stage. A lone mare trotted out onto the stage as the spotlight focused on her. Coco was now dressed in a black-and-white striped mime's shirt and beret. She had also painted a black teardrop on her face. "Coco? Is that you?" Suri questioned. Coco nodded her head and processed to do rope tricks with an invisible lasso. She then mimicked throwing the lasso with her hooves and Suri felt an invisible rope tighten around her waist as Suri began to pull her up onto the stage. "Coco? You can do magic?" Suri asked. "Wrong!" Coco shouted, now nose-to-nose with Suri, "Oops. Mimes aren't supposed to speak. Anyways, it's invisible paint. See? I mean, don't see?' Coco then kicked an open paint bucket at Suri and the mare was splashed all over with invisible paint, most of her body becoming completely transparent. Only a few blotches of her pink fur remained. "What have you done?!" Suri yelped, "I can't see myself!" "New supervillain, Invisi-mare!" Coco suggested, "We can be partners in crime!" "Supervillains?" Suri questioned. "Or maybe because of the way you treated me I'll just set you on fire." Coco pondered, "Invisible paint is flammable. Inferna-mare!" Coco produced a small matchbox and lit one of the matches. "No wait! Please!!" Suri begged. "I always thought you were kind of hot." Coco admitted, flicking the match toward Suri. "NOOOO!!" Suri screamed, just as she felt something swoop down and pull her up into the air. Suri shrieked as she found herself face to face with the "bat creature" who now had her in his arms and had wrapped his grapping hook around the top spotlight beams. Batman extended his cape and glid safely down onto the floor, placing the quasi-visible Suri down and fleeing. "Wait! Let me see your face, m'kay!" Suri called out, chasing after Batman. By this time, the stage was on fire due to the flammable paint residue and even Coco was feeling the heat. "I'm not really...feeling the burn." she quipped as she galloped out of the building after Suri. Outside, a growing crowd of citizens gasped as they noticed smoke rising. They also noticed a blurry bat-man run by, as well as a running pair of legs with nothing attached, as Suri was still half covered in paint. Suri noticed an open sewer cover in the road and climbed down the hole. As much as she hated too, Suri splashed sewer water on herself and began to wipe away the rest of the paint until she could see herself in the water's reflection. "Invisible paint." she noted, "I need to remember that trick." Suri continued to make her way down the dank sewer, but noted it was well lit by swarms of lightning bugs. She could faintly hear the sound of running ahead of her. "M'kay...bat...man!" she shouted, "I know you're down here! Maybe I can help you!" Suri walked deeper into the sewer and gasped as she felt someone grab her. Batman placed a hand over her mouth and whispered into her ear. "I'm going to let go. Promise you won't scream." he said. Suri nodded and Batman let her go. She coughed a bit from the sewer water and cleared her throat. "I'm Suri Polomare, m'kay." she announced, "You are the bat man?" "I'm Batman." Batman said, "Do you have any idea what this place is or how I got here?" "This is the city of Manehattan, m'kay." Suri explained, "Hundreds of ponies live here. It's part of Equestria, the land where we ponies live, m'kay. You're a...human...right? I thought you were just a myth." "And I thought talking animals were just a myth." Batman said, "I figured that this was all just a dream, but now I can't wake up.' "Why did you save me?" Suri asked, "How did you know I was there?" "I've been tracking that one pony since last night. The one that looks like..." Batman replied, "I just happened to find you with her." "That used to be Coco Pommel." Suri said, "She was my former assistant, m'kay. I was mean and abusive toward her and now I'm trying to make up for it, but somehow she turned into that...clown." "That was my fault." Batman admitted, "I was at the wharf last night, looking for answers. I tried to take down a drug ring out of sheer habit. That pony was caught up in it." "I know." Suri said, "I was there. Follow me, m'kay." Suri lead Batman deep into the sewer, where it trailed off into a bat-infested cave. Bats swarmed around the human stranger but Batman felt right at home. Suri pushed aside a large boulder and produced a pony-sized bat costume from a hidden corridor. She placed it on and Batman almost chuckled when Suri put on the duplicate cowl. "I'm Batmare." Suri announced. Batman couldn't help but break into an eerie laugh that made Suri cringe. "You're Batmare?" Batman questioned, "How? Why?" "I got the idea from a comic book shop." Suri/Batmare explained, "I read a comic about a mare who became a superhero after her parents were killed. She devoted herself to fighting crime. I thought I could do the same. I think she was called Mare-Do-Well but I didn't like the name." "Your voice sounds different when you put the mask on." Batman noted, "Harsher. No verbal tic." "Maybe that's the pony I wanna be." Batmare said. "Do you know where the clown pony will strike next?" Batman asked. "Strike next?" Batmare asked. "If your pony friend is anything like the clowns I know then she's planning something terrible." Batman said, "At the very least, she'll probably try to kill you again." "I know I was mean to her but I didn't think she would try to burn me alive." Batmare mused, "It was that vat of chemicals, a concentrated form of the drug. It warped her mind. There's got to be a way to get the real Coco back." "But maybe that's the pony she wants to be." Batman suggested.
3 - Horsing AroundThe following morning, after having decided to sleep in, the fashion-obsessed pony known as Rarity was awakened by a loud knock at the door of her hotel room. She slowly trotted to the door as she wiped the crust from her eyelids. "Hold your horses...." Rarity said with a yawn, "I've not even put on my fake eyelashes...I mean mascara...I mean I always look like this." Rarity lazily turned the doorknob with her telekinetic horn and the door swung open to reveal a frantic looking Suri Polomare. Suri practically tackled Rarity as she leapt into the room. "You've got to get out of here, m'kay!" Suri begged, "There's not much time." "Suri...*yawn*...Polomare?" Rarity questioned, "What are you talking about?" "You're in terrible danger, m'kay." Suri answered, "Coco's gone insane. All of Manehattan could be in trouble. Just take the first train back to Ponyville." "I know what this is." Rarity said, "You're just trying to run me out of town because you're still bitter that you got found out." "That's not it at all!" Suri continued, "You have to-" "Someone's been stealing my act and I think you know why, horse!" a strange manic voice said from behind Suri. Suri gasped and struggled as she felt herself being yanked by the throat. She was face to face with another human, an odd, menacing looking man in an old-fashioned purple suit. He had the same white pallor, green hair, and red lips that Coco now had and a disturbingly wide permanent grin. The worst thing about him was the malicious red tint behind his dark green eyes. "I've been trailing you ever since I got dumped into this backwater fairytale!" the Joker explained, "You and that knockoff trying to step on my routine! But I lost track of little miss 'Diet Joker'. Bleh. How dare she try to cash in on my image?! I'll rip her lungs out! There's only one Joker in town!" "What...what are you... talking...about....?" Suri struggled to say as the Joker's white hands clutched her throat, "Who...are...you?" "Put her down this instant, you monster!" Rarity threatened, her horn glowing with anger. Suri managed to kick the Joker in the stomach with her hind legs and wrest free from his grasp. The Joker keeled over and snarled, pulling out an absurdly long barreled revolver from under his coat. "What is that thing?" Rarity questioned, "And why is it so long?" "You'll find out." the Joker said as he aimed it right at her head. Before the Clown Prince of Crime could fire a shot he was kicked from behind and collapsed to the floor. The "long-gun" flung from his hand and knocked against the wall. The Joker started to get up again only to feel a hoof stomping on his back. "Miss Polomare is mine to torment, not yours." Coco, now back in her "Jester" outfit, warned, "I'm the only clown for this town." "You..." the Joker growled, "You miserable little bootleg brat. Where do you get off stealing my routine?!" "I can't explain it." Coco said, "All I know is that I want to make Manehattan great again." "Dead political memes?!" the Joker questioned, "That's the best this story can come up with?!" "Don't hate the player, hate the game." Coco quipped. "Here's a real gag for you, Jared Leto!" the Joker yelled as he grabbed Coco's front hoof and pressed it into his electric joy buzzer. Coco quivered uncontrollably as electricity surged through her body. Her eyes rolled back into her head and her tongue hung from her mouth as she sprawled on the floor, smoke rising from her singed fur. "Coco!!" Suri yelped. "She's dead..." Rarity whispered, tears trickling from her eyes, "You fiend..." "She's been horsewhipped." the Joker said, "So who's next?" Rarity charged at the Joker in a blind rage. He was about to fill her skull with as many volts as he could muster but suddely found himself slammed right into the wall. A familiar black glove grabbed him by the nape of his shirt. "I'll break you in two!" Batman threatened, raising his fist. "Yes, yes Batsy." the Joker mused, "You say that all the time. I kill a few people, we fight, you threaten to kill me, they throw me in Arkham, I escape, and then we start the whole game again. How many years have we been at this?" "Maybe I won't kill you, but we're not in Gotham anymore." Batman warned, "The beings here might not hesitate." "These puny little pacifists?" the Joker mocked, "They couldn't kill a joke. Get it? Killing joke?" Batman punched the Joker in the jaw, making the clown's lips bleed but not much else. The mad clown then produced a stiletto blade from his sleeve, swiping Batman on the cheek, distracting him just enough to slip away to the staircase. Batman ran after his nemesis, leaving the three ponies to fend for themselves. "Poor Coco..." Suri lamented, starting to cry herself, "How did this happen?" "I can't...I just can't..." Rarity wept. "But I can..." Coco whispered hoarsely. "Coco! You're alive!" Rarity shouted in glee, hugging her friend's neck but then yelped after getting zapped by static residue, "Ouch!" "Are you 'shocked' that I survived?" Coco asked as she got up back on her hooves, "It takes more than that to kill a pony." "She's right." Suri noted, "Pegasi get struck by lightning all the time and shake it off." "You scared us for a minute, darling." Rarity added. "Good. I want you to be scared." Coco said, "This city deserves a better class of scary clown and I'm gonna give it to them." "Snap out of it!" Rarity huffed, "What's gotten into you?" "The same thing that's gonna get into you, Rariberry!" Coco said as she galloped away out of sight, "Smile-Smile-Smile!" "Oh, like the song!" Rarity recalled, "Come on every pony, smile, smile, smile!" "I wish it were that." Suri pondered, slipping into her "Batmare" voice, "I think she's going to flood the city with poison."
4 - The Killing JokeLater that evening, Rarity and Suri were having coffee at the Marebucks cafe where Suri worked her day job. They noticed a large crowd gathering outside and a series of bright flashing lights and loudspeaker music to the tune of "Smile! Smile! Smile!". "What is all that racket?" Rarity asked. "It's her. Coco." Suri realized, "She actually planned something, m'kay." "Planned what? Rarity wondered. Both ponies trotted outside only for their jaws to drop in awe at the sight of large colorful parade floats, each one having a giant tethered balloon version of the Elements of Harmony/Mane Six attached to them. "Is that supposed to be me?" Rarity asked, noticing the "Rari-loon", "It really captures my eyes." "Look! It's Coco!" Suri shouted, pointing with her hoof. Rarity could barely see Coco, still in her jester costume, dancing around on the last float and twirling her "Coco-cane" scepter. A giant Twilight Sparkle balloon floated above her. "They really didn't get Twilight down pat." Rarity noted, "Wrong shade of purple." "Is that candy?" Suri wondered. Coco was randomly tossing pieces of candy, hard and chocolate alike, to the crowd who nearly trampeled over each other trying to get it. "The nerve of some ponies." Rarity complained, "Acting like savages over candy." "At least she isn't throwing bits." Suri said. As soon as she had said that, a gold bitcoin smacked Suri in the forehead. Coco was now tossing out bits and the crowd was literally bucking and pummeling each other to get them. "Is she trying to start a riot?" Rarity asked, "Where did all the floats and balloons come from anyway?" "I think Manehattan was planning a Hearth's Warming Eve parade to honor your friends, m'kay." Suri explained, "Coco must have broken the floats out of storage months ahead of time!" Suddenly, several ponies in the crowd broke out into boisterous, uncontrollable laughter and collapsed to the ground with frozen rictus grins. Anyone who had eaten the candy was now poisoned with "Smile-Smile-Smile" and died laughing. "She really is trying to poison the city!" Rarity shouted, "How could Coco even think of doing such a thing?!" "She isn't Coco anymore, m'kay." Suri said with tears in her eyes. A stallion galloped up right up to Rarity and laughed in her face then fell out on the street. Rarity tried shaking him but he only laughed even more. "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" he screamed, "He told me not to eat the candy...but I didn't listen! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" "Snap out of it!" Rarity begged as she slapped the poor fellow with her hoof. The stallion did stop laughing, gasped for air, and then died with a fixed smile. "What in Celestia's name have you done, Coco?!!" Rarity screamed in agony. "Wait, who told him not to eat the candy?" Suri wondered. "I did." said an all-too-familiar maniacal male voice, "If anyone's going to kill off this pretty little town with laughing gas then it's going to be me!" The Joker stepped out of the crowd and grabbed Rarity by the neck. He then held her muzzle right up to the orange flower attached to his jacket and forced her to breath in the knockout gas from the flower. He then ran off with the white pony back into the crowed leaving an echoing trail of laughter. "HA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!" the Joker screamed. Suri found the nearest sewer grate, opened it up and swiftly climbed down. On the main parade float, where Coco was still dancing, one of the ponies who now worked for her, a gruff stallion in mime makeup, trotted up to her. "Miss Jester." the henchpony announced, "We've still got an active crowd. I don't think they're all eating the candy." "Time for Plan B!" Coco ordered, "Cut the balloons!" "Of course, Miss Jester." the henchpony said, "Are you sure about this?" "We want to make all of Manehattan smile, right?" Coco answered, "Besides, mimes aren't supposed to speak." Coco slapped the stallion with her "Coco-cane" and the stallion motioned for the rest of the henchponies to cut the balloons. On each float, a "mime" took a knife and cut open the Mane Six balloons, releasing a lethal mixture of helium and Smile gas. Each of the mimes put on a gas mask and waited for the toxin to take effect on the crowd. Suddenly, a "bat creature" flew through the air and severed the strings on each of the balloons. Batman was gliding along using his cape, also wearing a gas mask. He had sharpened metal attached to the ends of his cape so he acted like a giant batarang. The balloons flew up high into the air, away from anypony's reach, and what little gas had leaked out disappated before anypony could breath it in. "He stole my balloons!" Coco yelped, "You big meanie!!" Batman landed on the main float and the mime ponies tried to attack him. Batman easily fended them off, kicking each pony over the side of the float. Coco then threw her scepter at Batman but he blocked it with his cape. Batman tackled the crazed pony and nearly strangled her, holding her neck off the edge of the float. "What's wrong with you, woman?!" Batman shouted, "Murdering your own kind?! You really are the Joker!" "Whadda ya gonna do, human?" Coco taunted, "Hold me under the float? Crush me? You wouldn't dare!" "What makes you think I won't?!" Batman threatened. "If you can't even kill the mad clown of your own world, then you sure as hay won't kill me." Coco said, "You don't understand. You could never understand. I was going to make Manehattan great again! I was going to make everypony smile and you ruined it!" Coco then burst into tears and then laughter. She frantically switched between laughs and sobs and Batman realized that a part of her was trying to fight off the effects of Smile. Batman almost considered letting her go but then just simply tied her hooves together with wire from his utility belt. "Help...me..." Coco pleaded in her normal voice, "Tell everypony...I'm sorry..." Coco tried to fling herself underneath the float out of guilt but Batman caught her and took the madpony in his arms. He then shot his grappling hook into a nearby building and launched into the air. Meanwhile, the Joker still had Rarity hostage and broke into Prim Hemline's old office building. He had discovered that this was where Coco was keeping the remaining barrels of liquid Smile and he had his own plans for it. The effects of the Joker's knockout gas slowly wore off and Rarity fluttered her eyes opened and yawned. She examined her surroundings only to find herself suspended thousands of feet in the air by rope from the side of Hemline's building. Below her she could just barely see the street and dozens of frantic ponies looking as small as insects. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Rarity shrieked in horror. The Joker, who was standing on the balcony, stuck his fingers in his ears at the mare's piercing scream. "Any louder and they might actually hear you in Gotham!" the Joker complained. "Put me down!" Rarity demanded, "Let me go, you ruffian! What do you want with me?! Who are you?!" "Oh, I suppose I never formally introduced myself." the Joker said with a mocking bow, "People call me 'The Joker', after the playing card. Actually, that's what I call myself. As for my real name, that's never been made canon. I guess you could say I'm old Guano Man's archnemesis and all, but I prefer to think of it as a professional partnership." "You're not making the least bit of sense!" Rarity noted, "What do I have to do with any of this lunacy?!" "You, my pasty equine friend, are bait." the Joker explained, "Sooner or later, either Batfart, the idiot horse that thinks she's me, or your even stupider horse friend that thinks she's Batfart, is going to come looking for you. That's right, I've figured out everything! I plan to kill two bats with one stone! The moment any one of them finds me, I'll be clean away while this whole building is set to blow to Alex Ross's Kingdom Come! In any case, you never did the honor of telling me your name." "I'm not going to tell you." Rarity huffed, "You don't need to know. Monsters like you never win. Somepony will rescue me." "I hate to break it to you, diamond butt." the Joker continued, noticing Rarity's cutie mark, "Maybe you're used to such sunshiny optimism in your world, but where I come from people die all the time and 'nopony's' there to save them. Bleh. Now I've started saying 'anypony'." "Just one question, though." Rarity spoke up, "Who in Celestia's name is Alex Ross?" Before the Joker could answer, he was once again tackled to the ground, this time by Batmare. Suri had once again donned the mantle of the bat and was pummeling the Joker's face in with her hoof. The Joker coughed and sputtered blood and his left eye started to go black and puffy. He still laughed in Batmare's face and spat blood that went right up her nostril. "Disgusting..." Batmare noted, "Now let the poor mare go." Batmare motioned to Rarity who chuckled nervously. "Poor choice of words." the Joker said, revealing a hidden Batarang up his sleeve that he had stolen. The Joker took the Batarang in two of his fingers and flicked it with enough muster in Rarity's direction that it severed the rope suspending her and sent the mare plummeting to her doom. "AAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Rarity shrieked again. Before she could become horseloaf splattered on the sidewalk, Rarity felt herself being caught and swept away by a dark blur. She then found herself looking into the eyes of Batman, who had managed to catch her in time, still swinging on his grappling hook. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Rarity screamed in Batman's face. "I'm trying to save you, kid!" Batman shouted back. Batman let his grapping hook extend as far as it could go as he swung high into the air, Rarity still in one arm. He extended his cape, using it as a glider. The surviving ponies on the ground gasped in awe as the "giant bat" reflected against the moonlight. Batman managed to land on the same balcony where Batmare had wrangled the Joker. Rarity wrestled out of Batman's grasp and hugged Batmare tightly, the only one out of the loony group she trusted. The Joker slowly struggled to get up, free from Batmare's hooves and faced Batman. "Well, Batsy! Looks like the joke's on you!" the Joker shouted, "I rigged this place to blow sky high! The bottom floor's full of barrels of that bootleg Smile crud that's nowhere near as quality a product as my Smilex gas! But on the plus side it has some very explosive properties!" The Joker produced a remote detonator from under his coat which would send another signal to a detonator attached to the barrels to completely collapse the foundation of the building. "I'm sure you'll escape Bats, but you won't be able to save the hundreds of ponies who can't!" Joker screamed with a maniacal laugh. The Joker screamed again, this time from a Batarang that cut straight into his wrist, causing it to gush blood and forcing him to drop the detonator. Batman grabbed the detonator and crushed it with his gauntlets, but frowned because was not the one who threw the Batarang. The Joker clutched his wrist and snarled, looking behind him. Coco, still the Jester, stared him down with a bemused smirk on her face. "I'm not going to let you have all the fun." she said, "In fact, I won't let you have any. This is my city, you pathetic clod of a clown!" "Imputent little brat!" the Joker warned, "Who do you think you're talking to?" "Not a comedian, that's for sure." Coco jibed, "You aren't even good for a laugh." "I'll rip out your guts and turn them to glue, horse!!" the Joker shouted as he lunged at Coco with mad ferocity. The Joker held Coco down as tightly as he could manage and squeezed her throat even tighter. "Laugh, you little equine bitch!" the Joker screamed, "C'mon, LAUGH!! I can't hear you!!" "Ha....ha...." Coco managed to say as she choked, managing to get one hoof free and jabbing it right into the Joker's throat. The Joker was forced to clutch his own throat as he was completely out of breath. Coco soon wriggled free and kicked up her hind legs, bucking the Joker clean off the balcony, into the open air. The Joker tried to scream as he flew off the building, but he didn't have the breath. "That's...not....funny...." he managed to say between gasps as he plummeted to the ground. Back on the balcony, Batman peered over the side, looking for any signs of where the Joker had landed. "I don't seem him." he remarked, "Not good. He's survived worse before." "How could anypony survive that?" Rarity asked. "You don't know the Joker." Batman replied. "I do..." Coco spoke up, "I am the Joker...but I...don't want to be...how do I....?" "Coco?" Batmare, back in her Suri voice, "Is that you? Are you back?" "Can't control it..." Coco admitted, "Back and forth....the Smile...is too much...I can't....HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" In her madness, Coco galloped to leap off the building herself but accidentally stepped on the Joker's flower that had fallen off his jacket during the struggle. Knockout gas wasn't the only trick up the Joker's sleeve as the flower also contained a small pouch of corrosive acid. The acid spewed right into Coco's face, covering the left side of it. Coco screamed in agony as half the flesh on her face melted and she pressed her muzzle into the ground. "COCO!!" Rarity shouted, running over too her and hugging her. Batman took a small vial of antiseptic from his utlity belt and poured it on Coco's burning face. He then took a strip of gauze and wrapped it as best he could. "It won't prevent the scarring, but it should prevent an infection." Batman advised, "She needs to get to a hospital." "I'll take her." Batmare said. "You'll have to tell the police what happened." Batman instructed, "Do you even have a police?" "We have a royal guard." Batmare explained, "I know that Coco will have to go on trial. This isn't going to be easy." Batman spread out his cape into the glider position and prepared to jump from the building himself. "Where are you going?" Batmare asked. "I have to find the Joker." Batman said, "More of your kind will die if he's still alive." "Thank you." Batmare said with tears in her eyes. "I'm the one that should be thanking you." Batman replied as he lept off into the night. "So what happens now?" Rarity wondered. "We bring Manehattan back." Batmare said, "We make Equestria great again."
