Drago P.I

by thewaffler

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Other, Romance, Apple Bloom, Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Sex, Hoity Toity, Spitfire, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 11892

He's got a mustache, a fast car, and paradise packed with mystery and action.

Join Spike Drago, his assistant Applebloom and the annoying estate manager Hoity Toity as they solve mysteries and take down criminals in the paradise Island of Haywaii.

This takes in the future where we meet a 27 year old Spike. Everything is looking up for the star police officer,; He has a great job, wife and is debt free. Life is good, but fate don't like that. He loses everything only to end up on a tropical island with a new job thanks to a recommendation from The Pony of Pop. He'll meet new friends, connects with some old ones, makes some enemies and maybe, just maybe get the girl. Who knows?

Oh and the prissy and proper Hoity Toity is skilled at Breyzillian Jiu Jitsu meaning he can snap necks like pencils and choke out an Ursa Minor.

Loosely based on the show Magnum P.I and yes cars(powered by magic), alcohol, guns, and drugs exist in this version of Equestria.

The image is owned by Hasbro and was found on DA. I just used MS paint to making it vaguely resemble my story.

Published 2011-12-05 23:14:53 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-18 21:41:44 UTC

Meeting Hoity and taking a joy ride.

A/N: I got sidetracked by my other fics, school, and work. I promise I will update my fics more regularly. Also sorry for the short chapter.

The Manor was truly stunning. It was as its owner would put it, "SENSATIONAL." Despite my tiredness and jetlag I was excited to get back to work albeit this time as a Private Detective, but still it felt good to be working with the police again.

"Hoity Toity, I'd like to meet Miss Shore's newest employee Spike Drago and his assistant Applebloom Apple. I assume the necessary arrangements have been made" Quan called up to Hoity.

The silver maned stallion stopped what he was doing and grabbed a towel and sprinted towards us.

Just before we met out host Quan excused himself and got back into his patrol car and left the premises.

"I am to take it that you know what is expected of you Mr. Drago?" Hoity spoke in a very refined and proper accent. Something about this didn't gel with me.

"Yes, Sapphire asked me to act as her own private investigator but from what I seen so far I doubt my skills will truly come into much use, I mean this is paradise, right?"

"Let me tell you something Mr. Drago, my mistress Miss Shores puts on the facade of the Pony of Pop, but in reality she's a huge Philanthropist and is trying to better this world. You speak of this island chain like a true tourist. There is murder, drug trade and violent criminals like any other big city, it's just that the sunny and 'fun' atmosphere hides a lot of it." Hoity spoke in a serious and grim tone.

"Um...Yeah, anyway I noticed an 85' Ferrari 208 GTS Turbo." I said trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes, and?"

"Is it Stock?"

"Heavens no, the engine's had some work done on it."

"meaning?"

"If you must know, the heads have been shaved and bigger pistons have been put in to the stock turbo V8 and not mention it has an aftermarket transmission installed to keep up with the increased performance."

"Fast?"

"It'll get you where to need to go. Anyway enough small talk let me show you to your office and you two to your rooms. Mr. Drago before you ask the answer is no, you may not drive that car. "

"Damn it." I uttered under my breath before turning to my pink maned companion.

"Bloom, I know what he said back there was pretty deep and I understand if you want to go home. This line of work can be dangerous."

She simply shook her head.

"Ah ain't leavin Spike, I'm it for the long hull. Ah've seen enough detective films to know what to expect: murder, hoof fights, mystery and the hero even gets the girl." Applebloom blushed slightly as she mentioned that last part.

"I thought I'd give the chance to leave with no regrets"

Seeing as I could not dissuade her, 'Being stubborn must be a generic thing for her family,' we made our way into the main area of the manor following our host.

"This is your office Mr. Drago." he pointed to the adjacent doorway and we walked inside. There was a beautiful mahogany desk and the standard array of things you'd find in an office, a phone, a computer, a printer and a fax machine 'why is anyone's guess.' The room's lighting came from a window with venetian blinds. All in all it was magnificent room.

After walking up a flight of stairs he proceeded to show us to our living quarters. Applebloom was more than a little excited about her room. I could see why here bed was a queen sized canopy style bed and her bedroom furniture was made of solid white oak with brass fixtures. She ran inside the room and opened what she thought was a closet and yelled in pure bliss when she was wrong.

"MA OWN BATHROOM with...A WHIRLPOOL BATHTUB. HOLY HAY!!!"

Hoity and I crept out of the room to leave the mare to her euphoria. I was then showed my room and lfor the most part it was a exactly like Bloom's except for a door that had a set of stairs that lead to the first floor library.

I turned to Hoity.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot...I mean hoof. I may act immature, but i take my work very seriously. So, I'd like to put all that behind us, what do ya say?"

"Very well I suppose that if we shall be working together. It would be beneficial to not be enemies." With that I shook Hoity's Hoof and he walked away.

'Sucker' I thought to myself. 'What he won't realize is that he's missing a set of car keys from his pocket.' I headed out the door and decided to take the 208 for a spin.

I got inside, undid the removable hard top, and started the car and took off. Oh, Celestia does this thing feel just right. I gunned that engine and felt that lil' bastard rocket me down the road, shifting it's five speed manual transmission when the time was right. I loved listening to the whine of it's engine and the screeching of its tires, it was pure unadulterated pure bliss. I headed towards the mountains to see how well this baby could drift. This car hugged those corners like a glove, I knew this was not stock suspension and I could care less. Sadly I knew my joy ride would have to come to an end as the sun was setting and Hoity Toity whom by now would surely be my new enemy would realize the keys aren't there and neither is the car.

I got to the manor at around 6pm just as the princess was lowering her sun. Oddly enough I didn't face Hoity, because as I would learn in the morning he got a nasty case of food poisoning from a batch of cupcakes Apple Bloom had made while I was away. 'Thank Celestia I brought her along and that she never earned a cupcake making cutie mark.' I dropped the keys on the floor near the library and went to bed.

Fast cars and Blood Thirsty Angry Mobs

Spike was sound asleep, but sadly that was interrupted by sounds of a Helicopter passing over the mansion, Spike hastily got dressed and went outside to see what all the fuss was about. Once there he was met by Hoity and Applebloom. They looked up to see an odd but grateful sight.

"Zecora!?!" Applebloom shouted as they looked to see it was indeed her Zebra friend piloting a helicopter vehicle carrier whose payload just happen to be Spike's Jeep Cherokee.

Zecora looked down at Appleboom and shouted back. "I did pass my online chopper class and for why I'm here I've come to drop off something Spike holds most dear!"

She about to unload her cargo when a strong gust of wind causes the jeep to sway and two of the cables supporting it to snap. The chopper starts relaying and emitting various warning sounds. She had two choices, either crash or release the SUV and let it plummet into the ocean below. It was safe to say Zecora chose the second option.

"Well...that blows." Spike said in a very melancholy tone as he had watched his graduation present hurdle into the water and jagged rocks below.

Hoity spoke up and tried to smooth over the situation. "I assume your insurance shall cover the damages."

"Um... not really. I canceled my coverage when I decided to come out here. Luckily for me I have a few thousand bits saved up and my buddy Chugs is the brother in law of a local mechanic works out a used car dealership."

"Ah'm sorry about your car Spike."

"It's okay it's not like I had any cherished memories inside that hunk of junk sitting on a the sea floor."

"Well that's good to hear." Applebloom said and she failed to catch the sarcasm in spike's words.

The two of them had left the manor and was in town at Fleetwood's Used Car Emporium. Spike spots a pale blue 1975 K5 Blazer and in the mountainous terrain of the rural section of the island such a vehicle would be very useful. He thoughts were interrupted by a large stallion whom appeared to be in his late forties.

"Hello and welcome to my dealership, I'm the owner and what can I sell you and your girlfriend?"

Applebloom blushed slightly at the statement and Spike was the first one to speak. "I'm detective Spike Drago and this is my assistant Applebloom. I'm lookin for a new truck."

Fleet noticed they were in front of the Chevy Blazer and decided to use the same charm he had used on countless yuppies and weak willed individuals, but unfortunately for Fleetwood, Spike through years in the military, police work and a somewhat civil divorce was anything but weak willed and gullible.

"I see your lookin at the '76 blazer, great truck, drives like a champion and can go over any terrain, has a CB radio, even has the soft top and it can be yours for five thousand bits."

"Wait? Five grand for this truck, I mean don't get me wrong it's a fine truck, but with all the problems it has I think you can go lower."

"What problems? It's solid like a rock."

"Like this for starters." Spike shock the truck gently and the truck continued to rock side to side long after he had stopped shaking it. "See that? The shocks are bad, if you look at the tires they're almost bald, the hood has some surface rust, it's missing its spare and the interior has seen better days. I'll pay three grand considering it'll take another grand to bring it up to par plus I don't even know what's wrong with that motor."

"I'll tell you what. Why don't you and your cute assistant come into my office and we'll see if we---" Suddenly a Crown Vic stops, the windows roll down and the three of them are greeted by a barrage of gun fire.

Spike whipped out his pistol "Get to cover!!!" He fired four rounds into the car, clearly thinking that they would be met with no resistance.

The car sped off to avoid any more attention then they have already gained and it was clear that if they wanted someone dead they could have gotten the job done. This was a warning of things to come.

Shocked Fleetwood went up to Spike."I'll tell you what, find out who is trying to kill me and you can have the air damn truck." Fleetwood pulled out the necessary paper work from his jacket and signed it, Spike read the paper work and signed it as well. Fleetwood handed Spike and Bloom the keys and the two sped off to begin their first case.

"Spike ah dunno how we're gonna find out whose tryin to kill that Fleetwood fella."

"That's easy, the Crown Vic was an old police car which you could tell because of the cut out near the driver's side for the spotlight. I got a good look at the car before it sped away. The biggest tip off of where it might be is a ship yard because of heavy amounts of rust around the underside of the car and the heavy salt smell coming from it. Plus if you think about it a ship yard would be a great place to hide a plain looking car.

"So..."

"...We get on the horn and asked Chief Quan if there are any abandoned Shipping Yards nearby."

Spike and Applebloom got into the truck and dialed in the radio frequency to a police channel.

"Hello? I need to speak to Quan, it's important."

The radio hissed. "This is Quan, state your business."

"Yeah, it's me Spike--"

"--and his lovely assistant Applebloom." Applebloom interrupted.

"Anyway, I over about three blocks away from Fleetwood's Used Car Emporium and some guys in a Crown Vic just drove by and at shot at him and he hired me to stop them. I need to know if there is any abandoned ship yards in the area."

"Did you say Fleetwood, as in Fleetwood Brougham?"

"Yes, you know him?"

"Muther fucker tried to sleep with my thirteen year old daughter! Now as a police officer I can give you the information, but as a father I can ask that whatever he gave you or whatever he paid you it's not worth it. The guy has a lot of enemies." Quan sighs. "If you really wanna find them head to Oceana Lines, it's an old ship building dock that’s been abandoned since the company went bankrupt after the Poseidon incident of '72. I'll send you coordinates; just remember what I told you Spike."

Spike punched in the coordinates into his GPS and the two them drove off towards the dock.

20 minutes later

They pulled up to the rusted and locked gate and just like Spike hoped he found tire tracks. Spike got out his gun a Colt M1911 pistol which he had won in a game of poker from a Royal Guard. 'Great gun, few moving parts, easy maintenance, good weight, built solid and good for most situations.' They approached the gate.

"Spike, are ya sure ya wanna do this? I mean Quan said Fleetwood ain't good a good pony, plus the gate's locked."

"Look Applebloom, if your scared you can wait by the truck and be ready to call for back up and as for the gate, you forget I'm a dragon and I can do this." Spike proceeded to melt the chain link around the gate.

"Okay Spike I'll wait here and call for back up when the time comes."

Spike made his way into the compound following the tire tracks. to a warehouse near the center of the yard. He looked inside to see fifth teen or so various creatures talking, crying, drinking and planning. He glanced over to the back wall to find military grade weapons, the kind associated with Special Weapons and Tactics. Needless to say Spike was confused on why there were so many creatures from different walks of life and the arsenal. Amidst his confusion and thoughts Spike failed to see the figure standing behind him and with a swift blow to the head Spike was knocked unconscious.

30 minutes later

Spike woke up tied to a chair but he soon realized he wasn't the only one tied up. He could feel the hair of who was tied up behind him.

"Ugh...Spike is that you?"

"Applebloom, how did you get captured?"

"I was by the truck and it was a while and you didn't come back so I radioed Quan for back up, and the last thing I remember was two police officers and I woke up tied up next to you."

The door of the holding room they were in opened up, the lights flickered on and several creatures walked and trotted into the room.

Spike was adjusting to the light."Who are you? Why are we tied up and what's with all the weapons?"

"Patience, Spike." A familiar voice called out and as the owner walked towards the dragon.

"Quan? You're part of this or whatever this is?"

"Spike you must understand that we are not an evil group of pon...er...beings. Let me explain, but let me assure you that no harm will come to you or light yellow friend here. You know that Fleetwood was attacked today. The reason why is, if you look around this room, you'll see a life ruined. a heartbroken and worried parent. All our misery, sadness and anger originates from a single sadistic selfish stallion."

Spike sees the faces and forms of several ponies, a few donkeys, two griffins, a baby dragon like he had been and last an angry looking hippogriff.

"Let's go around a share a few of our stories. I wasn't a hundred percent honest in my tale. You see he had actually forced himself on to my child, I tried to have him arrested but his lawyers deflected it they said there wasn’t enough evidence. I found out about this group and have decided to secretly supply them with hardware so we can raid his casino."

The red and blue baby dragon took center stage. "That bastard stole the only mare ever loved after he promised to help me win her over. Once he used me then he stabbed me in the back. Once I get my claws on him..." he shot out a white hot flame even brighter than anything Spike could ever produce even now as an adult. "...I'll melt the jerkwad into ALLOY!!!"

A pair of donkeys spoke up. "Fleetwood forced our restaurant to close down after we made a deal with him to help us expand our bed and breakfast. He took the money, the bank foreclosed on us and ...and ...and..."The female broke into tears.

"...He bought out our property and turned it into another one of his crumby car lots." The male finished their tale.

Quan took over again. "and here is our latest member this young hippogriff, but certainly no less scarred by Mr. Fleetwood Brougham, his named is Tac."

"Yo, mah name is Tac and a long time ago there was a wonderful young griffin whose voice could bring tears to a rock golem. Anyway one day she met a smooth talking pony, who promised her the world. Now, her parents didn't like the fact that she was dating a Earth pony and disowned her, but she didn't care she was in love. This tale doesn't end with happily ever after as you can guess. The griffin found out she was carrying his child and she thought he would be happy, but how wrong she was he told her to get rid of it, but she couldn't and he threw her out in the streets where she had to work three jobs to survive and even her wonderful voice whittled away and now grown up the bastard son wants vengeance." Tac said in a low voice and his pounded the ground with his left talon.

Spike and Applebloom were shocked to find that really existed a monster with a soul as black as the tires on the cars he sells.

Quan broke the silence. "Now as I said Mr. Drago no harm will come to you or your companion. I know you'll want to stop us from doing what we're doing and save the life of an evil bastard coated bastard with bastard filling, but look at us we're not evil and if it helps you sleep at night just think of us as a concerned neighborhood watch organization. So what do you say Spike can just let justice take it's course?"

Spike thinks for a moment. ‘On one hand they are acting out illegal vigilante style justice, but on the other hand from their stories they aren't looking for money but rather some sense of justice and closure. Not to mention they took my gun which even if I had with me it only has six rounds left in it.'

"Okay, feel free to carry out your mob violence." Spike spoke in calm and compassionate tone.

One of the ponies called out, "Fleetwood is planning to leave his casino and head to the airfield a lot of his money, he may be trying to leave the island for good."

Quan cut Spike and Applebloom loose. "Like, I said earlier I am sorry about all of this Spike, but it looks like duty calls." Quan and the rest of the creatures put on ski masks and piled into three all black unmarked '05 Chevy Impalas. Like, that Spike and Bloom were left alone.

"So, Spike ah doubt we're just gonna stay here and watch from the sidelines."

"You're spot on Bloom, there may just be hope for you yet. We need to make sure they don't get into trouble." Spike said as grabbed his gun off of a nearby table as well as three clips. The two them got into the Blazer and kept their distant as they followed the angry blood thirsty mob.

At The Brougham Casino

"I don't care if they are orphans, I'm not donating a single bit to the hospital. If you want sympathy from me look under the dictionary between shit and syphilis! Try calling somepony who gives a damn like Fancy Pants or his wife the Wonderbolt, Rainbow Dish or Whatever! I ain't got time for things that ain't money, booze, cars or chicks!" Fleetwood could be heard yelling over his cell phone. He ended the call and the threw the phone to his mechanic and personal assistant Wilcox. Fleetwood was carrying several duffle bags full of 100 note bits.

"Wilcox, I need to get to the airfield and fast, I doubt that Dragon I hired can stop those thugs who are after my money. It's not like I paid him, I just gave him a complete pile that had been sitting on my lot for five years. I look at this way, I can write it off as a donation and I don't have to pay to insure it anymore." Just as he had finished boasting three cars could be heard approaching the main entrance of the casino. "CRAP!!! THEY'RE HERE, WILCOX GIVE ME MY KEYS, I'LL TAKE MY CAR." Fleetwood grabbed his money and threw it into the passenger seat of his '92 Cadillac Allante. He jumped in and rocket through the parking lot and out into the road away from the casino, while the three cars were in hot pursuit. Spike and Applebloom weren't far behind, but Spike noticed a familiar face as he drove by the casino and he pulled over to the casino's valet booth.

"Wilcox, is that you?"

"Sir, if you wanna get your parking validated you need to---" Wilcox looked up to see Spike and a mare he didn't recognize.

"Spike! It's great to see you bro! Who's this? Are you guys hungry we ca--" Spike interrupted him.

"Sorry to interrupt you dude, but we need to know where Fleetwood and those cars are headed. So, jump in and we can catch up later." Wilcox got into the back of the truck. They took off after the chase that was already in progress.

"Wilcox where are they going, exactly and is there any way to get there faster."

"They are going to a funeral for my dear ex-boss."

"UGH...Not, you too Wilcox. I mean it's like everyone I meet wants this guy dead. What's your stake in all this?"

"The guy keeps insulting my wife and kids. I mean the racist shit he says, just because I married a diamond dog. Not to mention as his assistant I have to hear about all the horrible things he does on a regular basis, so I offered to become a mole and fed the angry mob information. "

"Okay...but I need to catch up with them, where are they going and is there a short cut?"

"Um, yeah, they are going to his private airfield, but what the boss doesn't know is that I rerouted the refueling trucks and disabled all flight controls. The shortcut is...wait this is a four by four right?"

"Yes."

"Cut through...wait for it..." just below them on the winding road of the mountain was the car chase and sounds of bullets being fired but all in all the four cars still look mostly intact."...NOW!!!" The Blazer barreled down the side of the mountain and gravity was on their side as they crushed and knocked down tropical vegetation on their way to intersect the four automobiles engaged in battle.

Fleetwood was knew his car wasn't handling all that well in curves of the mountains, but in the straightaway’s he could pull away and make it to freedom. He tried calling the police, but unfortunately for him he left his phone back at the casino with Wilcox. He looked out the passenger side to see the same dirty blue blazer he had sold earlier coming down the side of the mountain. 'That dragon and that nice piece of tail he has with him are coming to save me, thank Celestia. I'm gonna be alive.'

Spike swerved into the position behind Fleetwood and tagged his bumper and he rolled down the window.

"FLLETWOOD YOU NEED TO PULL OVER AND LET ME TAKE YOU INTO CUSTODY!!!" Spike yelled out to Fleetwood, Wilcox wasn't too keen on the idea of letting his boss live.

"Bullshit this is a trap, I'm getting off this island!" Fleetwood grabs a Glock-9 from under his seat as he makes it to a straight piece of road and his car picks up speed and pulls away from the heavier and slower Blazer. He starts shooting at Spike and his companions. One bullet nails the old windshield of the truck and shatters it and ricochet grazes Applebloom.

"AGHHHH!!!" She yells out mostly from the shock of being hit rather than actual pain. Wilcox takes her bow from her head and makes it into a makeshift bandage.

'Well, all bets are off. I tried being the nice guy, screw this.' Spike thought to himself and was angry that one of his best and closest friends got hit. He reached for his own pistol and started firing at the Allante. Several of the bullets peppered the trunk and one caught the rear driver's tire. Fleetwood was just lucky his car was front wheel drive. However, his luck was getting progressively worse. During the his adrenaline fueled shoot out with Spike he ran out of bullets. "Shit, but at least I can still out run them." He was right his Caddy had a speedometer of 150 and on these straight sections of road that lead towards his airfield he was loosing them even with the one tire being reduces to a sparking rim and steering getting progressively harder to control. As if the princesses had heard about his triumph the Allante began to lose speed, just as he was almost in the clear.

"WHAT THE FUCK? AIR DAMN FUCKING STUPID COMPUTER CONTROLLED CYCLINDER FUEL ECONOMY BULL SHIT!!! SON OF A WHORE MONGERING FUCK BUCKET, PIEC---" Fleetwood continued to rant and pound the steering wheel and jam the accelerator. He was almost at the airfield but suddenly that rear bare rear tireless rim caught a pot hole and flipped the car into the air. and on to its roof. A very severely injured Fleetwood crawled out from under it's wreckage. He looked like for a lack of a better word "crap." His mane was disheveled, his face was cut up from broken glass and his suit was tattered, bloody and had scorch marks. Spike was the first one at the scene. He saw Fleet desperately limping towards a small Cessna 172.

"Fleetwood it's over."

"Oh, thank Celestia, I think I will take my chances and turn myself in now."

"It's too late."

"What in the hell are ya talkin about boy?" Fleetwood tries to laugh thinking that Spike has just told a rather unfunny joke.

"I think you have some friends that would like to speak to you." Spike steps aside to reveal that the mob had made it to the scene of the accident. The hippogriff in the group takes off his mask and stares into Fleetwood's eyes. Fleetwood notices that they are the same as his.

"Hey, dad..." The hippogriff hisses as he whips out a police night stick and brings it down on Fleetwood's front leg with enough force to shatter it. Fleetwood cries out in pain. He looks to the crowd who all unmask themselves.

"Air Dammit, you can't let them do this me, SPIKE!"

"Let who, do what to who?" Spike slowly walks out of the area and puts on his shades thinking of all the atrocities this one stallion has committed.

"Spike! SPIKE!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!" The desperate stallion screams out trying to save himself. His voice is silenced when the unicorn in the group turn his mouth into a zipper.

Spike turns his head slightly towards Mr. Brougham. "Just because I can't kill you, doesn't mean I have to save you. I think there s a saying that goes, ‘see no evil, hear no evil speak no evil' Good bye." Just as he walks towards his truck he sees the mob dragging the bloody and kicking body of Mr. Fleetwood D. Brougham.

He looks back at his friends and accesses the situation. Applebloom's wound had stopped bleeding and Wilcox was going through his wallet. "Let's get you to a doctor Applebloom and after that we'll all go get a beer and catch up. I'm buying the first round."

An hour and a trip to a local clinic later and the three were at a local bar that was a favorite of Wilcox.

"Spike I wanted to ask, but how do ya know this guy?"

"Well, Bloom. He married my buddy Chug's older sister, Debra and I just happened to be invited to the wedding."

"Anyway Wil, Speaking of Chug's, how's he doing? Still living with his parents?"

"Nah, he got a job working as a teacher at a high school in some town in the countryside near Canterlot named Ponyville. I hear the locals were nervous at first letting a diamond dog teach their kids, but they got over it." Wilcox took another swig from his beer. "Anyway Spike what brings you and your 'friend' out here? You a cop or something?"

"Kinda, I'm a private investigator hired by a wealthy philanthropist to work with the police. Now, what about you? Now that your boss is dead, what are you gonna do for work? I mean I can't imagine the wife will take this news well."

"I got another job set up, it's still under the Brougham name, but it just happens to be Eldorado, Fleetwood's old man. The guy who still technically owns the casino, so yeah I got a ob working for him as a mechanic at his Mopar dealership and I couldn't be happier. I hated working on GM pieces of crap." He looks out the window to see spike's Blazer parked out front. "No offense Spike."

"None, taken."

Applebloom grew bored of their conversation and ordered another Mojito. "Mmmm, so good and so minty."

"Anyway Spike? What time is it?" Wilcox asked nervously.

"It's about 4:30, why?"

"Oh, shit I'm late I promised Debra that I'd go to our daughter Lily's ballet recital and I smell like booze and peanuts, plus I left my car at work. I'm never gonna hear the end of this. See ya later...I hope." Wilcox says with a sense of dread as he trotted outside and hailed a cab.

Applebloom and Spike laughed at scene as Wil was so royally screwed.

Later that night Tac the hippogriff that just aided in murdering his bastard of a father. Tac was walking in the rain towards his motel when a limousine pulled up next to him. The window rolls down.

"Tachometer Ah'd like to have a word wit you boy? Asked what appears to be an old station in his late sixties.

"Whose asking?"

"Ah'd like to have a word wit you boy."

"No way grand pa, now take a hike."

"You have no idea how right you are." The old stallion muttered.

"Anyway I have a job opportunity that could get you out of this squalor and save your dear mother." With those last words he get Tac's attention.

"What about my mother? Who are you? How do you know who I am?"

"Step inside and out of the rain and we'll talk."

Wearily Tac agreed.

"Good, now as for who Ah am, mah name is Eldorado Brougham and yes Ah am to the father of that disappointment that is no longer with us. That makes you my grandson and trust when Ah say that you are one of many illegitimate heirs to the Brougham name. As for your mother, regardless on whether or not you accept my offer. Ah have already taken the liberty of moving your mother to Mount. Four Winds Medical Center, the finest hospital money can buy."

"But why, what's your angle." Tac ask still unsure of what to make of all this.

"I'm not a perfect Stallion, I've done a lot of bad in my younger years, but I hope as I get closer to the end of my life I can make up for it. Today, I picked you to help run my company out all your brothers and sisters, because you took initiative. You saw a problem and you tried to fix it. I know a father should never refer to his children as 'it' but I never meant for Fleetwood to become such an evil child that would but Nightmare Moon to shame. What you say, wanna give it a chance?"

"I guess I got nothing to lose."

The limo took off down the road was a grandfather had just reconnected with a long lost grandson and the same child whose life was complete crap was filled with hope.

This chapter was a pain to write and special thanks for use of the OC's: Fleetwood Brougham, Eldorado Brougham and Wilcox from user Fleetwood_Brougham..

The Guild (Part 1)

A/N: Sorry, about the wait, but this next update will come a lot sooner.

The Guild: Part 1

It had been about a week since the Fleetwood incident and Spike along with Applebloom and Hoity were in the kitchen of the mansion. Spike was and Hoity had gotten into it again when the grey stallion refused to make Spike breakfast.

"I am not the butler, you cold-blooded hooligan and further more I sh--" Hoity was interrupted by Applebloom as she gestured toward the kitchen counter TV as it aired the news.

"Hello and welcome back to The Canterlot News Network, in big breaking news Haywaii police found the remains of wealthy auto dealership owner Fleetwood Brougham washed ashore on Takei beach. Here with us in the field is Glitchy Hooves."

The screen picked up video feed of the cycloptic earth pony as he stood on a beach. "Thank you Gale. Yes, it is confirmed that the body of Fleetwood Brougham as been found on this very beach. What is important to know is that the stallion in question was one of the more wealthy residents of the island. The police and forensics are saying that it most likely a boating accident. We do have police commissioner Quan here for a statement."

The camera colt then zoomed into the commissioner as he walked into frame. "I can assure the fine folks of Haywaii that this "incident" was most likely result of a boating accident, we are looking into the local marinas for questioning." He said but knew that a car recovered from the sea, large chunks of mane and a few limbs did not mean a body was found...

As Quan left the camera panned back and refocused back on Glitchy. "The commissioner and the forensics have said that they will prepare a formal statement later this afternoon. Back to you Gale."

"Thank you, Glitchy. We have received word from Eldorado Brougham the head of Brougham Autos and owner of The Brougham Casino in order to address the passing of his son and alleviate fears from the countless creatures employed by the Brougham name. In a brief interview with our own Buzz Newsworthy he stated that there will be restructuring of the management, but there will be no lay-offs."

Spike and Bloom knew the truth and wouldn't be surprised if there was a mass singing of "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead" and parties everywhere.

Little did they know how right they actually were as moments after that interview with Glitchy Hooves took place, every city from the coast all the way to downtown erupted in a carnival style celebration. There were bead thrown and a makeshift floats and free liquor.

At the airport a certain diamond dog named Chugs couldn't be more confused as he thought it was some kind of island holiday. The Rottweiler looking bipedal dog-man walked through Haywaii International looking at all the drunk and happy folk.

'When in Roam, I guess?' He said to himself while looking for his ride as lifted his aviator shades weaving through the crowded area, lucky that he was about two feet taller than the equine residents.

After about half an hour of waiting, he finally saw a familiar looking stallion. It was his brother-in-law Wilcox.

"Ay, bro what took you so long?"

"Traffic was a pain in the flank, getting here." Wilcox gestured to his 1958 Plymouth Fury illegally parked in the white zone.

The two loaded Chugs' luggage into the back of the car. They got in and made there way down the road. "I still see you got her." The diamond dog referenced Will’s car that was still a work in progress.

"Yeah, I do, but parts aren't easy to find and getting things re-chromed cost a small fortune. I will say this..." while at a stop light, he revved the engine. "She's worth it."

The two continued to make small talk as they drove through Downtown Reinalolu and finally Chugs' curiosity finally got the better of him as he noticed all the celebrating creatures everything from minotaur cows flashing from balconies, and stallion stumbling around drunk to a few police officers break dancing on the street corner. "Okay, I gotta ask what's with all the celebrations and insanity? It looks like the bastard love child of Marti Gras and Carnival. Is it a local holiday?"

"Enope, my old boss just died recently."

Chugs' hadn't been this confused since that time in college when Spike and Tookie got him drunk, dressed him up in clown makeup and left him outside the offices of Cat Fancy magazine. "Oookay. I'm not even gonna ask."

About 15 Minutes Later

The two arrived at a giant beach side manor with a K5 Blazer and Ferrari 208 parked out front.

"Um...what are we doing here?"

"I thought, you'd like to see a familiar face." Wilcox buzzed the intercom stating that he needed to see the detective. Once they were let in, they parked near the back of the mansion.

They walked toward two palm trees where a certain dragon mumbled in his sleep. "Stupid pompous fa--" He was interrupted when he heard the chatter of two familiar sounding voices. Spike stumbled out of the hammock he was in and noticed it was Wilcox and...

"Chugs!!!" Spike yelled out as the diamond dog and the dragon engaged in an elaborate multi-part handshake.

"Dude, what brings you out here?"

"It's spring-break for the high school I teach at and instead of being responsible and grading papers and creating lesson plans, I decided to visit family instead. I didn't even know you were down here. What's with the nice set up?"

"The short version is that I got hired by the pony of pop to be a Private Investigator a--" Suddenly from out of a nearby palm tree fell a certain light yellow mare whom landed on her hooves.

"…and his lovely assistant Applebloom." She said as she struck a pose.

Chugs once again had the look of complete and utter confusion plastered on his face.

Wilox broke the awkward silence. "Anyway, Spike I stopped by for another reason."

"What could be better than seeing an old friend?"

"I got it." The mechanic shot Spike a look that said, "You know what I'm talkin' about."

The drake squeed in a manner befitting a young filly. "Show me!!!" Spike ran towards Will’s Fury parked out front while the other three rushed to keep him from taking off without him.

Soon the four of them were in the capital city of Mai Tai Bay at Will’s private garage. As they approached the large steel door of the building, the aforementioned stallion got his keys out, unlocked a set of locks and raised the door.

"Here's she is Spike." What stood before them was a 1970 Plymouth Cuda and it looked like it had seen better days; The vinyl top was cracked, the upholstery was shredded, the tires were all flat and to top it off it looked like it had been in a demolition derby.

Spike looked at the salvaged auto with melancholy expression. "Errr...."

The mechanic grabbed an oxy-acetylene torch, and his welding goggles. "I can fix it!" He yelled to the distraught dragon relieving him of some of his fears as if there was anyone who knew Mopar inside and out, it was Wilcox.

Applebloom was about to ask Will if he needed any help, as she was adept at fixing damn near anything; However she never go the words out because just as she trotted towards him the ground shook violently.

KABOOM

Two blocks away and without warning a piece of city hall came down in a large explosion shaking the entire bay area sending concrete, glass and into the streets and sending pedestrians and nearby motorist in a frenzy as they tried to escape the falling debris.

In the garage the two ponies, dragon and diamond dog were shaken up.

"You guys stay here stay here."

"Ah'm comin' with ya Spike." Applebloom said defiantly while Chugs and Will ducked for cover under the tow truck parked in the back praying to each others gods to save them and vice versa.

The drake and the mare rushed outside. Spike unholstered his gun in the fear that the loud explosion they heard wasn't an accident and there was trouble.

When the two reached their destination the streets were covered in dust, creatures were fleeing the area while cars and trucks crashed into each other from the dust and panic created only a few minutes ago.

The city hall was looked liked it was going to give away any second as emergency vehicles piles into the area with their sirens creating a cacophony deafening sounds. The drake put his weapon away as his main concern became the safety of anyone trapped in the increasingly unstable municipal building.

The pair skidded to a halt as they saw an earth pony pair trapped in a flipped over and mangled Jetta. "Ah'll get them out, ya got get them ponies in that there building." Applebloom bucked the hatch back door off its hinges. 'Years of apple buckin'.' That would haven't been her reply if the situation wasn't dire.

Spike slid over car hoods, and as the dust from the still falling debris kept coming he ripped his floral print button down shirt off and used it as a face mask leaving only the white undershirt.

When he finally reached the building he could see how bad everything truly was as bodies, broken glass, concrete rubble had smashed the the front desk area and small fires littered the lobby.

He climbed the stairs to the second and top floor of the once elegant art deco city hall. After going room by room and making a clean sweep of entire area, Spike found the group of survivors that he and Applebloom had seen from the ground whom were hold up in a small corner office. There were five of them and quite frankly looked like hell with a mixture of dirty, dust, tattered suits, blouses, disheveled manes. One of the them, a mare who could be older than her early forties appeared to have a broken foreleg but had used a some kind of ripped clothe as a makeshift sling.

"I'm here to get you out of this. Can you move?" He said as he pointed to the previously mentioned injured pony only shook her head 'no' before descending in to a coughing fit.

"Okay, I checked and the rear set of stairs are still relatively stable."

"What*cough* about...the firetrucks?" An ash grey stallion commented as Spike told them that they'd have to risk the stairs and falling chunks of building as they'd have to cross the lobby.

"There's too much interference." Spike recalled the insane amount of cars blocking the entrance to the city hall. "We need to get going and you..." He pointed to the broken mare. "...I'm gonna half to carry you, ma'am." Without protest he carried the middle-aged pony bridle style as the group made its way down the creaking hallway that moaned under the stress of today's events as well as the weight of five ponies and a dragon.

They rushed down the stairs safely only freaking out as the railing gave way and crashed to the bottom of the stair-well. Once the group had made it to the lobby, all but Spike had let out a collective gasp as they discovered the dead bodies of visitors, fellow employees and the security guards.

The six of them were almost out of the building, but without warning the chandelier that hung towards the security station broke free and came hurdling towards them. Spike made a tough call as he threw the mare towards her companion and took the full force of the heavy lighting fixture knowing his dragon hide could take that kind of punishment.

The rest of the looked in awe as sure enough their dragon savior got back up in his shredded, stained, shirt and equally grungy jeans.

He walked back towards the mare he had thrown to safety and picked her up once more as she winced in pain. Sadly, the chandelier was the least of their worries as they picked up a high pitched whistling sound that could only mean more trouble.

"Get out of here!!!" There was no time to do this by the books because just as they clambered out of the gaping hole in the wall The were met by another...

KAAABOOOM

Followed by large fire ball caused the rupturing of an underground gas line. Spike rushed to get the survivors to safety as that aforementioned fireball followed them burning and singing his clothes. It was this delayed detonation thta brought the government building down and severely damaging the adjacent parking garage and office buildings.

Once the smoke settled thanks to help from nearby pegasi and griffons all there was left was a pile of twisted concrete and steel. The dragon looked like he had just been through hell, but Spike was lucky to save those few survivors as he guided them to the flashing lights of the nearest ambulance. He looked over his shoulder and back towards the the demolished city hall, he scratched his chin and noted that there was some kind of organization to this madness.

There must have been about twenty or so cop cars at the scene of the inciddent.

Just as those same officers were about to radio headquarters for a damage report, all the sirens and lights of their cruisers as well as the those from the various other rescue vehicles flickered off and it was replaced with an errie high pitched static. Little did the know that this was happening across the entire island and to all forms of media.

A deep booming voice came on over the radios and a cloaked figured appeared on the screen of every television set. "We know you weren't in your office today Madam Mayor or should I just say Spitfire for old times sake? We are the Guild of the Purple Balloon and this was just a taste of what is soon to come. In approximately five hours I will teleport instructions to you and until then have a super fantastic day." The cloaked figured giggled as the radios and televisions resumed their regular communications and programs.

Meanwhile Mayor Spitfire whom after she retired from the Wonderbolts had gone into politics was visiting a local elementary school when one of her aids walked into the room and informed her of what had just happened and with that she excused herself.

"I'm sorry kids, but something urgent has come up and I'm afraid I'll have to cut this visit short. Remember to stay radical, do your homework and eat your alfalfa." She said with a fake smile knowing what would happen if she caused a panic. She and her aid left the room and got in her limoscine parked in the front of the school.

The long car peeled out of the drive way towards the police station.

Twenty minutes later

After arriving at the station and flying to the roof access to avoid most of the reporters Spitfire made it inside and rushed past the the chaotic interior of cops frantically answering phones and paper flying every which way as she made it to Quan's office.

"Mayor Spitfire, could I offer you some coffee before I show you what we have?"

"Let's cut to the chase." She said curtly.

Quan composed himself. "As you know there was a major incident earlier today. City hall has been destroyed, half the city's firefighters are working to contain the blaze and roughly forty-seven are dead with sixteen in critical condition. That's just the bulk of it."

The mayor was visibly shaken up. "Do we have any leads?"

"Yes, shortly after the explosions all communications were breached as a group called the Guild of the Purple Balloon claimed responsibility for the attack. Here is recording of their message."

Quan got up and put a VHS into a VCR in the small television set at the corner of his office and pushed play. They listened to the message. When it was over Spitfire looked like she had seen a ghost.

"C-can you tell me what you know about them?"

Quan waved his hoof dismissively and pulled out a manila envelope and emptied its contents on to his desk. "Not much, other than they have never done anything this big and that they're a mercenary group comprised mostly from disgruntled ex-royal guards. Their leader a massive white stallion who goes by the name: Snowflake and is the shadiest member of the entire group. There are no records of him even existing before five years ago."

The yellow pegasus just stood there silently. There was no mistake over whom the 'stallion' really was in her mind. The giggle at the end of the message, the mane and coat colors and seemingly person vendetta...

(Flashback Seven Years Ago)

Spitfire, Soarin, Doc and Surprise comprised the Alpha-team of the Wonderbolts. The four of them were in a drug processing plant. What had been a routine intelligence gathering mission had been botched as members of the Chupacabra Drug Cartel were closing in on the three remaining Wonderbolts as it was revealed that Doc had sold them out. They were pinned down in a refueling depot and sustaining heavy injury. Spitfire had taken heavy shrapnel to her side. Soarin's wings were pretty tore up, Surprise was the most damaged of the three and had to resort to using surgical tape from the saddle bags Doc left behind to hold her insides together. The traitor opened fire on the group and tagged the white pegasus causing her to fall to the ground and her breath to come out shallow.

When all hope seemed lost the Equestrian Royal Marines flew in for extraction. They laid down suppressive fire and were carrying the two to the chopper.

One of the heavily armored unicorn marines turned to Spitfire. "Any other survivors?!" He yelled out over the roar of the engine.

The yellow and orange mare looked at her no longer moving comrade and a tear formed in her eye. "We're all that's left of Alpha-team, move out."

Another marine whom looked to be medic looked at the bloody white pegasus and called out an order. "Tag her and bag her."

A marine got out of the gunship to recover Surprise's body. However, fate has a way of sucker punching you when you least expect it, just as the soldier was about to run in and grab the mare, the static from the helicopter blades ignited a the jet fuel that had covered the ground during the massive shoot out and sent a large fire trail towards Surprise whom tried to crawl out of the flames and cried out in a barely audible voice. "Do~on't...leave...me..."

Spitfire saw this from the window of the chopper. She was about to give the orders to go back for her friend, but it was too late as the entire complex went up in a fiery explosion.

Days later, recovery teams couldn't find any trace of the white and blonde pegasus amongst the wreckage. A funeral was held for Surprise in the following weeks. The wonderbolts and her family from Ponyville and Rockston attended the service. Her tombstone read:

Here Lies
Surprise Antonette Pie
Friend, Patriot, Cousin and Daughter
K.I.A.
"If you ain't laughing you ain't living."

Shortly after that, Doc was found dead in a rundown little motel south of the border and given a Coltlumbian necktie. A few weeks later the last of Alpha-team disbanded and went their separate ways. Soarin moved to Ponyville to be closer to his wife and two boys on the farm. Spitfire on the other hoof wanted to travel to the furthest point in Equestria which just happened to Haywaii.

(End of Flashback)

"Mayor? Mayor Spitfire? Spitfire!!!"

The pegasus wiped a tear from her eye. "Sorry, It's just I think I may know who this Snowflake character is, but there's a problem that pony died years ago."

As if on cue the radios and television sets of the station went to static as they had before the last mysterious message. A white pegasus stallion with blonde mane appeared in front of the camera. "Hiya, You've probably figure out who I am Spitty." The deep voice of the stallion reverberated with absolute venom in his tone. "It doesn't matter. We're here to liberate the world from corruption. The same corruption that allows friends to leave you to die in a burning processing plant, I'm not bitter, nope, I'm happy...always happy." His tone changed from serious to angry to upbeat rapidly. "This is simple, in an undisclosed location I have a number of ICBM's and magic seeking missiles. If anyone leaves the island...boom. Our demands are the release of every military detainee from the dungeon in Canterlot and the following political enemies from the Griffin Empire and Dragonia. City hall was just an example, do not test us. Now you guys have super special day." The video feed ended and a list of names printed out on every fax machine in the station.

The station broke into complete chaos and the airport that only a few hours ago was the site of a massive party was now a mess of panicking creatures.

In a fortress off the coast of the mainland a room was filled with a dozen or so heavily armed mercs and a television camera set up.

A shrouded figure turned to the white stallion who just minutes ago sent their message. "Do you think they'll really fall for it?"

"By the time those fools realize that this is just a farce, we will have sunken the Hawaiian island chain and have looted the remains."

Once police headquarters had some semblance of order the mayor spoke up.

"Listen I need all remaining street cops to head down to the heavily populated areas and try to calm the fears of the citizens, let them know that everything is going to be all right." Spitfire's plan was to avoid riots and end of the world style looting and crime. The public's best interest came first in her eyes.

As soon as all the patrol cops in the station had cleared out Quan looked at Spitfire. "Now, that all my officers are patrolling the city we may not have the man power to solve this problem we're in."

"Do you have any suggestions?"

"Yes, I'm thinking about hiring a private investigator on this one that and using my best, but least viable undercover cop." He winced at the latter of the two solutions.

"If it's our only options then I expect a dossier on both of them in fifth teen minutes."

The fifty year old stallion left to gather information and make a few phone calls.

....to be continued.

Prologue/Pilot Episode.

Who am I?

I’m Spike Drago P.I.!

Yes, my name is Spike and I'm a 27 year old drake. After years of living in the calm town of Ponyville, I got my GED, went to college to study forensic science, served three years in the Lunar Marines, I joined the Royale Police force in my home city of Canterlot which to in the least was odd because I was the only dragon on the payroll of any department. Heck, I even got married by my childhood sweetheart a white unicorn with a deep purple mane. My life had become everything I ever hoped it could be; I had had a great job, a wife and my student loans were finally paid off. However, fate has a way of kicking you in the balls.

I came home early because my weekly poker game had gone bust, meaning my buddy Chugs the Diamond dog who was my college roommate at the University of Mareami had forgot to pay rent for a month and was being evicted and was revealed that all the money he was suppose to use for rent going towards his addiction to hookers. We had a couple of brews in the at the Burnt Liar a pretty nasty bar and we went back to his apartment talked about what he’d do now as I helped him put his few meager possessions into his car.

“So, Chugs whatchu gonna do now that you don’t have a place to stay, I mean you can crash at my house, but you know my wife’s kinda for a lack of a better word racist against dogs.”

“Naw, its cool bro, my parents live in the city I’ll just move back in with them and just deal with my little sister rubbing it in my face that I’m thirty years old and still live with mom and dad. I mean it could be worse right?”

I left for home; normally I’d be there at around ten o’clock on Friday, but because of my lost evening I was there at around seven tonight. I walked to the door and as I was about to open it I heard panting and the screaming and moans of ecstasy.

“Yes! Yes! Don’t worry Trigger my husband won’t be back till ten anyway!!!”

I, blinded in rage bust open the door to see my nightmares become reality. There was Trigger Stetson my old partner on the force during my tenor in Equestricide mounting my wife. He noticed me grabbed his coat and bolted through the window. I reached for the baseball bat I keep near the door for security reasons and began chasing Trigger through the streets as he outran me, I returned home at see my wife shaking in fear on our Sofa the one we got as a wedding gift from Luna herself.

“RARITY, HOW COULD YOU?”

“SPIKE I HAVE NEEDS, AND YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN TOO BUSY WITH WORK.”

“NEEDS!?! I WORK SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO AND THIS IS MY THANKS, GODS DAMMIT I LOVED YOU.”

“SPIKE,” she yells out to him, but he’s still fuming.

“Get…out,” I whispered with a deep twinge of anger and my fist clenched to my side.

“Spike?”

“I SAID GET OUT YOU BUCKING WHORE!!!” I said that phrase with a deep pain in my chest, and tears rolling down my face. My universe had just imploded and it felt like it imploded twice.

Rarity grabbed her purse and quickly walked out the door that Spike held open. At this point his neighbors were outside to see what the commotion was about. Spike looked at them and yelled.

“WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES LOOKING AT?! SHOW’S OVER!!!”

'I need a drink,' I thought to myself. So, back to the Burnt Liar it is.

Two hours later he was telling Barrel the bartender his life story, yelling and crying into his gin. This was a place you could do those kinda things. The Burnt Liar was a miserable bar for miserable drunks. Yeah, Spike and Chugs were regulars and weren’t suicidally depressed; they just came here for the drink specials. Now, Spike was just like every other patron: broken, sad and alone.

The weeks following he would become a more frequent visitor, with his dorsal spikes unkempt, his face unshaven and had even fallen behind on his police work. The next few weeks in only got worse up until the divorce court date. Spike at this point had shaved everything but a thick mustache and wore a cheap suit. Believe it or not the court actually was on his side, mostly due to the power of friendship oh, and having the best damn layer in the city represent you free of charge. His named was Ted “Tookie” Williams; he was a centaur (the birth result of a human in Equestria scenario), graduated top of his class and much like Chugs their relationship started in college albeit on shaky terms. He was a pompous jerk who bullied Spike and after an actual fist fight between the two in which they beat the shit out of each other, they became good friends. They were the three amigos, but that’s a story for another day. The court saw the over whelming evidence and decided on a settlement and two parties would just leave each other, no alimony to be paid, no words, they would just part ways after their possessions were divided between them. Rarity got the house and Spike got the car and half their life savings.

I was in a state of depression; I needed to get the hell out this city. I gave my police captain Tom the Boulder my notice and my badge to which he nodded understandingly. I told Chugs and Tookie I was leaving and I couldn’t stay here and drink myself to death. They respected my decision; I told them that this wouldn’t be the end. I went to shake their hands, but instead I got a bro-hug from my two closest friends. That night we went drinking, not for sadness, but rather as a small going away party.

I decided to go to the one place that loved me. I went home to Ponyville. I was a tough cop, but I’m secure with myself to admit I missed my mother, okay she wasn’t really my mom and she was only six years older than me, but she raised me, she fed me and she helped pay for my schooling. If you don’t call that a mother then I don’t know what is. She also unofficially adopted me.

I got in my car a 25 year old Jeep Grand Cherokee with my bags on the roof rack (all cars in this universe are powered by magic, not gas).

I reach the town at around seven at night and knocked on the door of the Library to which I was tackled to the ground as she saw me. Twilight proceeded to hug me and ask me the one million usual mom questions. She for only being 33 years old, acted like a stereotypical worried parent.

“Spike why don’t you ever call? You know Soarin’ and I are worried you. Have you been eating well? You should stop drinking. Oy Vey, break your mother's heart why don’t chu. I’m so sorry about what happened with Rarity and I wish I coulda been there; don’t worry you can stay here as long as you want,” Twilight said frantically not allowing me to a word in edgewise.

“Yeah for being the element of generosity, she was giving it alright,” I said trying to lighten up the mood and was smacked by Twilight for the crude joke.

“Anyway where’s dad?”

“He’s grabbing some things for me at the Circle C convenient store. He’ll be back in…”

The door opened and there stood Soarin’ the former Wonderbolt with two bags of groceries and the only stallion I’d ever be proud enough to call dad.

“Honey, I’m Home! Oh, hi Spike, I saw your truck parked outside, glad to see you still have the graduation present we gave you after what was is eight years?”

“Hi, old stallion and it’s nine years I’ve had that old truck. I’m gonna be stayin here for a couple of days if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all little buddy, although you ain’t so little anymore. I’d say something about what happened to you, but I know you’d like to forget about it. However, if you ever need an ear we’ll listen to anything you gotta say. We care about you Spike.”

He said those words and for once during the last two months I didn’t feel like drinking. I was actually happy.

Two days later I was having idle conversation with my parents and my childhood friends of Snips and Snails. Out of nowhere I felt strange rumbling sensation that I haven’t felt in years. I belched out a letter and proceeded to read it out loud.

Dear, Spike Drago,

My name is Sapphire Shores and yes the Pony of Pop. Anyway I’m in need of a private investigator and I was given your name from the very grateful Prince Blueblood after you discovered and foiled an assassination attempt on his life. I’ve gone over your record and think you’d be SENSATIONAL for the job. You can live in my mansion in Haywaii, but I warn you my estate is operated by former fashion consultant and surprisingly badflank Hoity Toity. If you accept this offer, please response by day’s end tomorrow and I’ll send you chariot plane tickets and a dossier containing vital information.

Love, S.S

“Wow, that’s a mouthful,” I remarked.

“You gonna take it Spike,” asked Snips.

“I dunno, it’s a lot to take in.”

“I think it’d be good for you, the sun and the sand, paradise, away for you to forget about certain events and away for you to get back into and renew your passion for police work. It’s at least better than slumming it with us,” said Twilight.

“If you think that’s what’s best for me, then I trust you,” I said. I mean if it doesn’t work out I can always come back home. I sent a response immediately only to receive one two tickets to paradise. WAIT, two tickets? And there was small note that said I could bring a guest. As if I was Twilight with Gala tickets, a twenty-seven year old Applebloom bust through the room.

“Take me wit you. Ah always wanted to go to Haywaii, Spikey, pleeeeeeeeeasssssssseeeee…,” Applebloom whined immaturely as I interrupted her.

“Alright you can come, it’s not like I know what you can do while you’re there, I dunno maybe you can be my assistant.”

“Ooh, Thank you, thank you, thank you Spike, just think about it the exciting adventures of Spike Drago P.I and his lovely assistant Apple Bloom Apple.”

“Alright enough! let’s hurry up and pack. The plane leaves tomorrow”

The next morning Bloom and I said our goodbyes and were at the Lunia airport in Manehattan. We boarded our flight, I’d only been on one flight before this and it was nothing compared to this, it seems our tickets were executive first class all the way. I was comfortable, my Earth pony companion on the other hand was freaking out at every little bump and Turbulence.

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!”

She proceeded to hyperventilate and get air sick. I turned up my Mp3 player and went to sleep for the duration of the flight.

When we landed and exited the plane the differences between us we like night and day. I was looking very relaxed and feeling refreshed my scales shiny and glistened in the sun and my thick mustache was well trimmed. Applebloom on the other claw looked a high mess. Her mane was disheveled, her fur matted and complexion was tinted green.

We were greeted by Hula Dancers that put flower leis around our necks.

“Let’s get you cleaned up before we meet our contact,” I said as I passed her, her bag.

“I think I’ll change into something more inconspicuous.”

Twenty minutes we meet in the food court of Haywaii International airport. I was wearing my Canterlot Money Colts baseball cap, red floral Haywaiian shirt, blue jeans and tennis shoes. I waited for Applebloom who emerged from the mare’s restroom and I was stunned. It was just a simple sundress and her hair was in put up in a bun.

“Whoa!” She blushed slightly at my dumbstruck gaze and looked at me and she was on the verge of Laughter.

“Errr…Spike, you look…,” she said as I interrupted her.

“I know, like a dashing local, I look I’ve lived here for years, right?”

“Sir, you look like a damn tourist,” said an unknown unicorn stallion in a torn shirt, tattered vest, and straw hat as he laughed at his own joke.

“Dammit!”

“Thank Celestia he said it and not me,” Applebloom said it sarcastically as she snickered to herself.

“Who, the hell are you,” I said slightly annoyed.

“I’m Quan…*whipped out his badge*…chief of police and you must be Spike and…”

“Applebloom, his assistant,” she said with a slight flare.

“I’m your contact, and I apologize for being a little late. So, did you have an enjoyable flight?”

“I did, but she on the other claw, not so much.”

“Ah gotta a little scared and got tiny bit sick.”

“A LITTLE SCARED!?! You were praying to every known deity, including Crumb, the Griffon Gods and The Four Winds. When the flight was over, the flight attendant said you gave her five vomit bags.”

“Okay, sheesh, maybe ah underexagerated a little!”

‘My gods, these two bicker like an old married couple,’ Quan thought to himself, before interrupting the two.

“Anyway allow me show you to Shores Manor and then I can give you a tour of island once you two unpack.”

We proceeded into Quan’s squad car parked around the corner. He drove us to the front gates of a huge two story, brick and stucco mansion, there were fancy cars parked out front, palm trees and a white maned Earth pony with a gray coat wearing purple tinted shades and a tan gi with a red belt indicating a very high skill practicing Jiu Jitsu.

I took this scene in and said, “I can get used to this in a hurry.”

Next chapter: We meet Hoity Toity, our benefactor and settle in.
AN: The Burnt Liar is a creation of site member Coffeebean.