Remembering

by Protector of Light

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 4007

What would you do if you remembered something that seemed to be more real than the truth?

Teresa Simmons is just your normal college student. However, she feels as though her memories of 'real' life are all a lie. The reality is that she was a pony, Twilight Sparkle, and that now she is human. Now, she must try to find her friends before her journey to find out what in Equestria happened and how to fix it can begin. But how do you ask someone if they were ever a pony?

A prequel to Happiness.
Credit for artwork goes to artist.

Published 2012-07-18 13:34:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-18 13:34:03 UTC

Remembering

What happened? I, Twilight Sparkle, asked myself. Where am I? I looked down at myself, standing on two legs. I raised my arms and looked at my hands. I walked over and looked in the mirror. I gasped, seeing furless skin in a caramel tone and my hair black as coal staring back at me. All that remained was my purple eyes. And then it all came back.

I am not Twilight Sparkle. I am Teresa Simmons. My family lived in Washington D.C. in the United States of America for all of my childhood, but now that I am an adult, I have moved to New York to go to college. My brother is Shane Simmons, and he is married to Cadance. She was my babysitter when I was small, and they fell in love via each time they met during that time. They live in New York as well, which is partially why I am going to school here as opposed to Harvard, Yale, Penn State, etc., where I was also offered full ride scholarships. I’ve lived a very happy life. But none of this seems real. It all feels like a lie. It all feels secondary to the dreams and thoughts I have of a magical land called Equestria. I feel like a unicorn pony, not a human being. I’ve never told anyone in fear that they would think me crazy.

It doesn’t help me keep with a feeling of real life that I swear that I see many of my friends from Ponyville at the University. They always seem to be watching me, too. I see Pinkie Pie in the girl who dyes her curly hair pink. I see Rainbow Dash in the one who is on all of the sports teams. I see Fluttershy in the strawberry blonde girl in my German Language class who never says a word. I see Lyra, seeming to study everything that she sees in wonder, Bonbon in the sweets shop down the road, amongst others. But it is the three mentioned before who really make me question my very life.

I’ve tried to catch them to speak to them, but they always are rushing around and rush even faster when they see me. It makes me feel repulsive, as though nobody can stand to be in my presence. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I couldn’t even make friends in elementary school, let alone with random people at college. But that just makes it even worse. Is there something wrong with me? I’ve had the dreams that I’m a pony since I was little, did they somehow damage me for the world?

Ah well. Nothing I can do about it until I manage to catch up with them. For all I know, they could just be in a hurry.

Why am I depressed? My life has been perfect compared to that of thousands of people, probably even just in any given city that I pass through. The absence of friends was my fault. I was more interested in books than friends. The few people who tried to gain my friendship just were rejected by me. I regret it now, but back then, it was natural. Now I realize the benefits of the concept, and I would like to experience it for myself. And there we go. I’m approaching this from a scientific perspective. No wonder nobody wants anything to do with me. People don’t like brainiacs, eggheads, or nerds. And that’s just what I am: a nerd, a geek, whatever it is they call someone who is smart. I don’t know why people don’t like intelligence around here, but they don’t.

Why am I still obsessing over this?

I go back to my dorm. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? For now, I’m going to sleep.
When loneliness is all you’ve known
When apathy is all you've shown
For all your life you’ve been alone
You know it’s time for a change.

I never actually told anybody in my family that I felt this way. I wonder if maybe Shane or Cadance have the same feelings of doubt over their humanity. I mean, it surely isn’t just me. I know that neither of them ever had any trouble making friends. They have a wide circle of friends, and an influential group at that. But maybe I should tell someone about my loneliness. It can lead to depression, which statistically can lead to some dangerous activities such as drugs, alcohol, self harm, and suicide. None of which my pony self, Twilight Sparkle, would ever consider; she has such good friends and she never is truly lonely. Unlike her, I don’t even have a pet like Owlowlishious to keep me company. At least I have family, but sometimes that just isn’t enough.

Today I think that I will try again. To talk to one of them. Maybe the pink haired one. She always looks so torn when she sees me, like she doesn’t know whether to hug me or run away, and she has always chosen the latter. Is it sad that I would take a hug from a complete stranger and feel happy now? So random person on the street? But I know that she isn’t just some random person. I know that she is Pinkie Pie. Or at least probably. Or maybe not. But who knows for sure unless I manage to talk to her. But I guess the first step is to get out of bed, and then maybe I will go out for a cup of coffee before classes.

I walk out of my apartment and turn the corner. There she is: the pink haired one. She’s half asleep and staring at a vending machine. Do I have the nerve to speak up? “Hello,” I say, unsure what else I could.

She jumps, startled. She looks back at me. “Oh, hey Twilight! Oh, wait, you might not be Twilight. Ugh.”

“Um, excuse me? What do you mean I might not be Twilight? Twilight Sparkle? And are you Pinkie Pie?” Am I completely insane?

She gasps. “You remember! You remember!” She repeats this over and over and over.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

“What do you mean, Twilight? Like we’re not in Equestria? Of course I’ve noticed that!”

“So wait, you think that Equestria is real? I’m not putting you down, because I do too. But I’m just surprised. And please, call me Teresa. Teresa Simmons. That’s my name here. I don’t want to get mixed up or anything.”

“You know it’s real too? I wasn’t brave enough to approach you or any of the other girls. I’m Penelope Potters here! Isn’t it so weird that our initials are the same here? I wonder if it’s the same for Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack since they only have one name. I know that Rainbow Dash’s probably works the same way. Oh! We should talk to Rainbow Dash! I think I know who she is! The others aren’t here, I don’t think. We have to look for them! The Elements of Harmony can help us get back to Equestria!”

“I don’t know about that, Penelope. They might not be so open to the thought of Equestria being real. I usually wouldn’t have, but it just feels so right when I remember. The memories here are what feel wrong. It can be so hard to separate the truth from the fiction.”

“I can understand where it could be for you, Teresa. I mean, if you’re the same here as Twilight was in Equestria, you don’t believe anything without scientific proof. You said that even magic takes practice and study.”

“But, like I said there, some things just can’t be explained and you just have to believe in them.”

“Very true.” We are both silent for a few moments.

“I think I also know where Fluttershy is,” I say.

“Really? Why haven’t I seen her! I know everybody here at the University!”

“You didn’t know me.”

“True.”

“Anyway, I think that she’s in my German class. It might be a good idea to have you see her first though. I don’t want to freak out some random stranger. I don’t really want to freak Fluttershy out, either, but it might be necessary.”

“Probably best to try to approach Rainbow Dash first, though. Right?”

“Right.”

So we part ways and I go to get that coffee that I talked about. Studies point towards caffeine being good for you in small doses, but harmful in large doses. This is why I don’t drink very many caffeinated beverages in a day. However, I do have my cup of coffee every morning. It’s just something that I need to get going about my day. It’s funny, really. Usually I’m a night owl, but lately, I’ve been trying to get as much sleep as I possibly can in order to preserve what I have left of my fading memories of being Twilight Sparkle. It fully and truly seems that up until about a year ago, I had no life as a human. I was a pony. But now, I am a human, and I have this whole other set of memories in my brain trying to muddle up all of the stuff about being a pony! It’s frustrating.

I miss my friends. At least I’ve found Pinkie now. Or Penelope, rather. I shouldn’t let myself call her Pinkie in my mind for fear of calling her it in public. And there I’d be again, the most socially awkward one in the room, as per usual. But who I really miss the most is Spike. It’s like he was torn away from me completely. There is no trace of him in my ‘real’ life, yet I was so close to him in Equestria. It makes it feel like I was ripped apart at my seams and this major part of who I am was removed to hide the truth from me. Like I would figure it all out if only Spike were here.

That was certainly a worthy dilemma. If I could find all of my friends, I would be complete. If I could find all of my friends besides Spike, I would be little better off than if I hadn’t found even Pinkie.

But what could I do? Anything is better than being alone, right?

When company is all you wanted
And company you’ve got
But still you are lonely
For one whom you forgot
What do you do?
Do you sit around and wait?
Gain more friends and celebrate?
Or do you search until the dawn
Of the day when your work is done?

So. Rainbow Dash. How do you approach a complete stranger to ask if they’re a pony? How do you create a lie in a world of lies to cover up the truth? I would plan to tell Rainbow Dash that Penelope and I have known each other forever. It would make things seem more natural. If she has dreams of being a pony too, then there might be some truth to my and Penelope’s theory that Equestria is real and this reality that we are living in is just a lie. Then honesty can come into place, telling her that we lied, but this is why we lied. Then if we were to approach Fluttershy, then— no, wait, it would be better not to think that far ahead. It could just lead to disappointment. We would start with Rainbow Dash. We would see what happens and go from there.

Anyway, I’m waiting for Penelope. It will probably seem like we are being more truthful if there is more than one of us doing the explaining. Then again, maybe not. It could just seem like an elaborate prank, which is the last thing that I want to happen. We have to be careful or we could lose her. Then again, we might not have a chance to get her anyway. We could be wrong about this girl being Rainbow Dash. Rhyan Donners is in first place in any sport that she attempts. She doesn’t get very good grades, but from the library archives, she loves to read. However, anybody could have these two qualities combined. But combined with those bizarre maroon eyes, it just seems to make too much sense to be a coincidence. There really was no way to tell for sure until Penelope and I approach her.

We are supposed to meet up after both of our classes are over. We also know through a bit of research (aka Pinkie Sense) when she will be done with her classes. Penelope’s Pinkie Sense is what really tells me that Rhyan is probably Rainbow Dash. If it’s the same here, then it is probably never wrong. With that in mind, there is still a chance that it will be wrong and we will make big fools out of ourselves and be the laughing stocks of the school. Well, maybe not the whole school. This is college, not high school, after all.

Patience. That’s all I need right now. I need to be patient and let what will be come to pass.
Patience is hard to come by
It likes to stop and go
It doesn’t travel with
The ebb and the flow.

So, I’ll just go through my classes like normal. Ironically, I happen to have German class today. It will be hard to ignore the fact that the girl who is possibly Fluttershy is in the room. Though maybe she won’t show up today. Who knows?

I walk into class. The room is empty when I open the door. I see a note taped to it, and when I read it, I find out that class is canceled... damn it, the teachers are supposed to text when that happens. Oh well. There is nothing I can do about it, so best to calm down. I don’t like that teacher anyway. Mr. Roy is racist, and often makes comments in class that bother me. Often he talks about dumb immigrants, stupid Hindus. I tried reporting it once, but I got no results other than him tormenting me more after class.

Suddenly, I notice that someone is behind me. I have a moment of panic, wondering who is coming to torment me this time. I get so tired of it. I quickly turn around; ready to react on a moment’s notice. But lo and behold, there stands the girl who might be Fluttershy. “Class is cancelled by the way.” I am nervous now, after thinking about Mr. Roy. What if she’s judging me too? She is studying me. What now?

“Oh, uh, okay.” She sounds like Fluttershy. “I was just wondering if …..” He voice gets to such a low whisper I can’t here.

“Sorry? Can you repeat that?”

“I was wondering if you’re….”

“Still didn’t catch that.”

“Are you Twilight Sparkle?”

“Ummm…” I’m caught off guard. “Yes.” I never expected her to just approach me.

She holds out her hand timidly. “I’m Fluttershy. Or Farah Stanly here.”

“I’ve been wondering for a while. I thought you acted like you. If that makes any sense. Sorry. I’m not good at things like this.”

“You’re doing better than I am. I can’t really explain how I knew that you’re Twilight. I just knew.”

“Oh. My name here is Teresa Simmons here. I found Pinkie Pie. She’s Penelope Potters. We should all meet up and hang out sometime. Maybe we can figure out what’s going on. I get the feeling that we shouldn’t stick around here for much longer.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” So we walk into the hallway. “Is Pinkie the only one you found?”

“We think that we know who Rainbow Dash is. But yeah. Penelope and you are the only two of our friends that I’ve found. She apparently lives in the same building as I do. I ran into her in the hallway this morning.”

“Today’s been quite a day then, I guess.”

“Yeah. I’m glad we don’t have German today.”

“Don’t let that guy get to you. He’s just a big bully.” Farah seems to be a bit annoyed at the object of which she speaks. “Mr. Roy is just mean. It doesn’t matter what people say about somebody, what matters is the person who they truly are.”

“Thanks, Farah. But it’s so hard to go through life ignoring that man. He makes my life a living hell sometimes. Not only does he make cruel remarks, he sometimes threatens me. And no matter who I tell, nothing happens other then the torture getting worse! I’m about ready to drop that class, but I’m waiting to see if things get better, since I need that class for the degree I’m trying to get. But I guess that in reality, if we decide we want to go back to Equestria, it doesn’t really matter. It would take up my entire schedule to figure out how.”

“I’d love to go back to Equestria. But not without everybody else. We still need Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Spike, and Rarity. And out of those, Rainbow is the only one that we have any idea who she might be.”

“Yeah. I agree completely. We don’t even know that the others are in this country! There’s really no way to tell for sure.” I look up at the sky, considering. It’s so weird not to see any pegasi up there, but I know that it shouldn’t be. “All we can do is look.”

We part ways. What a weird day. I need to get back to my dorm. I’m out here, nobody’s around. It’s almost evening. I walk past an alley between two buildings. I’m grabbed by my long hair and tugged in. I turn to face my captor—Mr. Roy. “Excuse me?” I say, trying to pull away. He looks loopy and smells of alcohol.

“I never noticed how pretty you were, Miss Simmons. I’m going to show you what what good a little chaos can do.” He kissed me before bag was shoved over my head, making it hard to breath. I was thrown into a dumpster, and I could see his figure looming over me. I screamed “HELP!” in hopes that somebody would hear me through the bag. The figure moved closer, grumbling in anger. I never knew he sounded so much like Discord.

Suddenly, a heroic voice out of nowhere: “LEAVE HER ALONE!” I see my savior’s are grabbing Mr. Roy by the back of his shirt and throwing him against the wall, where he falls unconscious. I’m shaking like a leaf and can no longer stand. I fall to my knees. “Are you okay?” asks my brown haired guardian angel, Rhyan Donners, looking extremely concerned. She helps me up.

I finally am able to answer. “I think so. I think you got here in time. Thank you so much! Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome. I’d do it for anybody. But let’s get you to the Dean to make a statement and get that ass Mr. Roy fired.” So we go, her helping support me by an arm, since I can’t stop shaking. I start crying. “Shh.. it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me.”

“Okay.”

I tell the Dean and the police exactly what happened. It’s painful to recall it, even if it didn’t get far. Mr. Roy stole my first kiss, the one I was saving for someone I actually loved, but instead, it was taken from me by someone who I hated.

After all that happened today I forgot about the plans that I had made for when I met Rhyan. Instead, she not only found me, she saved me from what might have ended in my death. But I don’t want to think about that right now. They set me up with a councilor to talk that one out.

In the mean time, Rhyan was nice enough to walk me home. The perfect opportunity to mention the fact that I believe that she’s Rainbow Dash. But I don’t really want to ruin what could possibly be a friendship by admitting that kind of thing. But she starts to speak first. “Listen, this is going to sound weird and I hate to throw it out there after you had such a bad experience, but would you happen to be Twilight Sparkle, Teresa?”

“Actually yes. I was going to ask you if you were Rainbow Dash, but it looks like you saved me the trouble.”

“Good, I think. Do you—”

“Know where any of the others are? Yeah. Pinkie and Fluttershy. But not anybody else.”

“I don’t either. Though in my home town there is a girl that might be Applejack. She lives on an apple orchard and acts like her. But that could be a coincidence.”

“There have been an awful lot of coincidences lately, and none of them have turned out to be just that. But I think that those of us who found each other should meet up together before we make any other moves.”

“I agree. And I think that you should get some of that counciling before we move forward as well. This is going to be pretty rough on you, Twi.”

“You shouldn’t call me Twilight. People might notice.”

“Right. Teresa it is.” So we get to my dorm, exchange numbers, and plan on meeting sometime at my place so that we have privacy so we can talk about being ponies without anybody knowing. I look at my cell phone and see that I have ten voice mails. Five from my mom, five from Shane. I call them back. I tell them that yes, I was nearly kidnapped and possibly nearly raped and killed. No, I didn’t need them to come right this instant. No, I wasn’t going to leave college and come and live with one of them, no offense to them. Yes, I would call if I needed anything and I would come home and visit soon. Yes, they could come and visit me also, but it didn’t have to be today, tomorrow, or even this week, and to let me know if they were coming so I didn’t freak out and think that Mr. Roy was at my door. In the process of making these calls, I received calls from Farah and Penelope. I tell them basically the same things that I told my family. I also tell them that we should meet tomorrow to try to avoid my family showing up while we are talking. I text Rhyan the plan.

I know one thing: I’m not going to classes tomorrow, and forget German, I’d take French instead.

So, after everybody else had their classes and I had my first meeting with a councilor, we meet at my place. We basically share notes on what we have observed.

“So yeah. It seems like none of us feel like our human lives are real,” I observe.

“Where do we go from here?” asks Farah.

“I say we try and get back!” says Penelope.

Rhyan says, “But we need to find the others first. And I think I know where Applejack is. I say we just head out next week on break and see if it’s her! It is going to be summer break, you know. We have all summer to look for them before we have to come back to our human lives.”

“Very true. But I promised that I would visit my brother and my parents first,” I say.

“Well, afterwards, then.” Penelope smiles.

“Sounds like we have a plan!” Rhyan says. We disperse.
When company is all you wanted
And company you’ve got
But still you are lonely
For one whom you forgot
What do you do?
Do you sit around and wait?
Gain more friends and celebrate?
Or do you search until the dawn
Of the day when your work is done?