The Biggest Littlest Pony
I felt a deep welling of emotions in the pit of my stomach as I stared at the clock hanging above the kitchen counter, the hands almost taunted me as I waited with a mix of dread and excitement. I’d never done anything like this before, honestly. A few years ago, I’d have never even entertained the idea, mostly because of how my parents were.
But…the world had changed so much in so little time, I guess it’s a given that some people will want to hold onto their old ways. If you’d decided to crawl into a fallout bunker, and only just now cracked open the door and peeked at the outside world, they’d be pretty damn confused as to why there were humanoid horses walking the streets.
Yeah, alien horses from another dimension- technicolor and all. I’m sure everyone felt shaky and uncertain about the future, when there was a near-invasion of the world by an army of rainbow-hued, super-magical equines from another world. It still amazes me that cooler heads prevailed, and even now, there’s really no small amount of outspoken racism. Or…well would it be specism? Is that even a word there? Doesn’t matter, still the same concept I guess.
At any rate, after the ponies had made peace with us, there was almost an entirely different way that people approached life. People seemed cheerier, maybe even a little more generous. Politicians were beginning to cut through the bureaucracy and get shit done, and with the help of the ponies, even began to stitch together a functional universal health-care system. From the looks of it, these ponies were in contact with humanity for all of a single year and they already seemed to be directing us toward world peace. Of course, as an agreement between the United Nations and the pony nation, there were certain trading agreements put in place with various countries. One of the biggest was an exchange program between them and the United States, a handful from both groups was to be selected and sent to live for a few months in the other’s home country.
I didn’t even hesitate on that first week, I submitted my paperwork and then pestered the folks at the immigration offices for a solid month. Suffice to say, I was excited to see what living with them was like, I had seen multiple interviews with pony officials, even a broadcast with one of their leaders. I had a few reservations at first, however, mostly due to what I had seen from some of the propaganda released by both the Equestrian and US government. The tape was a demonstration of what each type of pony could do, because there was apparently more than one type of pony within the species. Last time I checked, the footage released on YouTube had over twenty billion hits, not even including the demonstration also given at multiple laboratories and research facilities. Watching them use telekinesis, evaporate into thin air, fly and do loop-de-loops, and smash a stone block to pieces with their bare hands was fascinating. There was so much that they could do, I at first wondered why they even needed to bother with the human race. If they had such an advanced way of life, why did they feel the need to make peace with the ones that didn’t have the capability to do any of that? They could have just as easily pulled an Invaders from Mars tactic and taken over the country, maybe even the whole world.
I was snapped out of my reverie as there was a heavy knock at the door. I quickly dismissed it as ponies not knowing their own strength here on earth, as their materials were probably better suited to their supernatural abilities. Heading to open the door, I briefly checked myself in the mirror, smoothing over my hair and straightening my shirt. Taking a deep breath, I swung the door inward, and-
A fucking massive stallion stood outside my door!
My jaw dropped as I stared in disbelief at this nearly-cartoonish representation of maleness staring right back at me. He looked like he’d pushed himself into a fucking radioactive waste pit and swam around in it for good measure. His muscles were clearly curved and defined underneath his tight t-shirt, and looked like he could probably crush my head like a grape if he really wanted to. I thought the ponies were supposed to be furry and cute! Not this- this-
My brain kicked in, realizing I was looking like a jackass while I stared at the pony with a slack expression.
“You’re Storm Catcher, right?” I asked, praying against all odds this guy was just looking for the moving company he was part of.
“Yeah!” he smiled widely, as my heart sank into the pit of my stomach “You’re Sammy Davenport?”
“Yeah,” I repeated weakly, as I gestured for him to come in “sorry the apartment is a little messy, I’ve been busy with work, and uni isn’t that easy on me either….”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” he said, turning toward me and winking “I like messy.”
'Did he just try and hit on me-?'
“Uh…yeah…” I said, dumbfounded, as he set his bags on the floor by the sofa “Your room is right there on the left.”
“Oh! Thanks!” he said cheerfully, as if nothing had happened.
I rubbed my temples as I pushed the door closed, wondering just how I was going to adjust living with this hulking thing that called itself a pony. As grossly musclebound as he was, the wings sprouting from his back and over his shoulder blades were pretty awesome to look at. His blue-green coat had a good sheen to it, I guess that meant he was in a pretty healthy condition.
'Look at him you idiot, of course he's healthy!' I chastised to myself, as I watched him place his bags next to his bed. 'He probably eats three dozen eggs a week and all that crap.'
"So," he said, again turning toward me "show me around, this looks like a cool place you've got!"
'He's impressed with my apartment? That's weird, concerning they have magic and such, they must have a hundred different things for decorating their homes.'
As I proceeded to lead him around the small two-bedroom apartment, I couldn't help but feel at least a little more comfortable with Storm as I got to know him. He seemed excited to see the place, and even moreso to hold a conversation with me.
Maybe this arrangement wouldn't be so bad after all...
Author's Note
It's been a while since I've sat down and tried to write something serious. (I say as I write a fanfiction of little technicolor horses). This was an idea I had, and I thought it'd be interesting to write it out and get it down on paper.
-Best regards,
Doc.