Starswirl The Bearded Acclimates To Modern Equestria

by Kikio3000

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Dazzlings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Drama, Comedy, Starswirl the Bearded, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 1698

Whelp...1,000 years in stasis does wonders to one's view on life. It changes dramatically.

"What's this?"

.......................
Starswirl asked this for the 100th time after defeating the Shadow Pony.

"That," Twilight answered, "Is a baby alicorn."

"What's this?"

"Starlight's friend Trixie," Twilight replied, "She thinks she is related to you."

"But what is THAT with her?!"

"Discord," answered the princess, "Yes, he is free."

"Oh yes, you are my adopted brother, 'the Prince of Chaos.'"

"Wait...adopted sibling?!" Twilight yelled, perplexed.

"What is THIS?!"

Twilight gulped. "That is one of your mirrors...the Alternate Universe one was shattered...this is the human world one...."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"There is something that I've yearned to do to you again, ever since you released me from my eternal prison," Starswirl explained.

"What is that?" Typical, trusting Twilight. She had had a foolhardy mistake. She had answered to a Unicorn with a menacing smirk.

"Yell at you."

"What?!"

Recolonizing is hard! Starswirl has always been a complicated character of pony, but what happens when he is dumped in a world that he virtually has no knowledge or control over?

Hilarity ensues.

You: This isn't a Halloween fic!

Me: Yes it is...it's...um...not scary. XD I hope you enjoy anyway!

I wrote a fic chapter in two hours, and finally wrote a story two days after the new episodes showed! Yay, me! :D Also, the cover art is by the person called FighterArmy. I'll update this sometime near Halloween probably! XD

Published 2017-10-31 03:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-31 03:40:05 UTC

Starswirl the inquisitive

"What's this?"

Starswirl asked this question for the 100th time after defeating the Shadow Pony. Twilight and Starswirl were at the Crystal Empire, looking at baby Flurry Heart in he stroller, while her parents gave Starswirl an inquisitive look.

"That," Twilight answered, "Is a baby alicorn."

"What?!" Starswirl responded, "There hasn't been an alicorn foal born in GENERATIONS, yet alone in Equus...or as modern ponies call it...'The land of Equestria!'"

"Sigh..." Twilight huffed, "Equestria has changed, Starswirl! I've told you about this SO many times now!"

"What's that, young lady?" Starswirl queried. "Was that sass? You must have learned to respect authority by NOW, young lady. Remember, I can knock you out COLD...the Shadow Pony said himself that you are ALMOST as powerful as me."

"Sorry sir," Twilight whispered with a humble tone.

Recolonizing Starswirl the Bearded the today's Equestria is an extreme provocation; this challenge is NOT disappearing anytime soon.

Hours later...in Twilight's castle....

"Who's this?" Starswirl asked.

"This unicorn with a broken horn is Tempest Shadow," Twilight stated plainly, "And she is a guest at the castle - a reformed villain who tried to take over Equestria but was betrayed by her boss."

"Wow, punishments are few and far between now," Starswirl mumbled, while Tempest grumbled; not realizing that she was staring at the real Starswirl, and closed the bathroom door to resume brushing her teeth.

"What's this?"

"Starlight's friend Trixie," Twilight replied, referring to the blue unicorn who was holding a board game in her magic.

"She thinks she is related to you."

"That could be true of this failure," Starswirl replied, "But what is THAT with her?!"

"Discord," answered the princess, "Yes, he is free."

Discord and Trixie grumbled at Starswirl's rude ignorance.

"Who are you?" Starswirl inquired.

Discord fumed, and Trixie twitched in annoyance.

"Oh yes, you are my adopted brother, 'the Prince of Chaos.'"

"That's the 'KING of Chaos to YOU, brother.," Discord mumbled under his breath.

"Wait...adopted sibling?!" Twilight yelled, perplexed.

Starswirl's horn twitched and glowed a little; the magic searching for something.

"Oh, yes, yes...the unicorn of Order, and the hybrid of Chaos," Starswirl hastily explained, feeling magical energy surging from his horn. "We'll explain later."

Starswirl followed a trail of magic with his horn, just like how Rarity finds most of her gems. He followed the magical 'scent' all the way to the furthest corner of Twilight's castle - where the Equestrian Girls mirror lies.

Twilight followed her new mentor, leaving Trixie and Discord to huff, teleport back to Discord's castle guest room, and play a 'thrilling' two-player game of Parcheesi.

..............
Starswirl's findings....

"What is THIS?!"

Twilight gulped. "That is one of your mirrors...the Alternate Universe one was shattered...this is the human world one...I had to fix it with my magic and these thingamajigs, otherwise, it wouldn't have opened up for another 2 and 1/2 years."

"Shattered...fixed...forced opening...two of MY mirrors?! Oh, pony magics..." Starswirl groaned, slapping his foreleg onto his face in frustration.

"I suppose you thought that doing THAT...ruining my portals was a good idea, too?"

"But...but...." Twilight pleaded and rapidly amended, "Celestia's former student, Sunset Shimmer, stole my crown...MY element if harmony; I had to get it back - Equestria and the Human world would have been doomed! She took the crown there, gave that world and my human counterparts magic, turned into a demon and caused other mayhem by bringing magic into the world by accidentally helping villains resurface! Also, I would never have seen my human friends again...let alone help them or Sunset!!"

Twilight paused for breath.

"Celestia would have been heartbroken without being able to see Sombra one last time in the Alternate timeline! Evil Celestia would have destroyed both realities, and we wouldn't have been able to rescue everypony from there miserable evil lives!!"

"Huff...puff...pant...pant...," Twilight stopped speaking like a steam engine and sweated.

"That was a LOT of information, Young Twilight. I see why you all had to take such drastic measures," the older unicorn reconciled, "EQ would have been destroyed or become a totalitarianism, neither sound wonderful. You are a lot like Celestia, young lady... Both of you ignored my warnings and messed with other worlds. If you had not just been teacher and student, I would assume you were mother and daughter."

Twilight blushed at the compliment.

"Even Sunset reminds me of the ex-power hungry evil Celestial from the Alternate Universe. However, since I am the creator of the portals, I would have liked to destroy them myself, as to make sure no powerful leftover magic escapes your grasp."

Twilight blushed, embarrassed this time. She honestly did not realize how durable magic was, or how it conforms so easily and dangerously...especially in what she could tell of the Equestria Girls world from Sunset Shimmer's messages.

"Now, I have to ask, Twilight," Starswirl wondered, "How did you punish the former villains such as Sunset and the others? The ones that live in Equestria, AND in the Alternate Universes?"

"Reformed them."

"What?! ALL of them?!" Starswirl yelled, flustered.

"We reformedMost of them." Twilight responded, "Some were banished or imprisoned for a while, most were reformed, such as my unofficial second student Sunset; and some escaped powerless like the Sirens."

Starswirl bent his head, tearing up for the first time in 1,100 years. As tears started to roll down the elder unicorn's cheeks, Twilight knew what he was thinking. It's technically true that if Sunset and Twilight had not messed with the magic of the other world, the Dazzlings would have been mostly powerless. However, if he had relinquished the jewels of those dangerous seaponies right before banishing them, they would have been ABSOLUTELY powerless and would have had to learn to sing properly WITHOUT magic. If he hadn't gotten into that silly singing competition, he would have just nerfed the siren's magic straight away. It was HIS fault that the portals did not have protective magic, and were made in the first place. HE alone had doomed both worlds.

Twilight could tell that Starswirl had finished his few tears, and internal conflict, and snapped him out of it.

"So...what now?" The princess pondered.

"We find them, punish them, and destroy them," Starswirl replied, "Or befriend them. Choose your pick."

The former unicorn and older unicorn smiled at each other. Despite Starswirl only just getting used to doing things "the Friendship way" around here, both ponies knew precisely the option that Twilight would choose if she got the chance.

FRIENDSHIP.

A buzzing similar to a telephone filled the room.

"Oh, excuse me!" Twilight pardoned herself and retrieved the object in question - her magical book. Twilight emerged from her room back to the 'mirror room,' or 'portal room,' as she now called it; the book, and a quill in tow. While explaining to Starswirl about the magic of the book and how it made Twilight feel like Princess Celestia being pelted with letters all the time, Twilight flipped to the most recent page.

The message was nothing serious, just Sunset talking about the fantastic day she had had at a rock concert with her friends.

Just before Twilight could respond to Sunset, she heard a 'poof,' and Starswirl had a star-coated backpack on his back.

Twilight looked up.

"Where are you going?" Asked Twilight.

"I'm off to save the world, small foal," Starswirl responded.

"OK," Twilight said, "Have fun," Twilight said as a careless goodbye, almost getting lost in the journal's adventurous contents, since...you know...it's a book! A book that Twilight was intrigued in....

"You know not of what I do," The Pillar warned.

Twilight looked up, finally noticing the scene before her. Starswirl, bag on back, staff in hoof; was about to jump into the portal and solve the siren mystery all by himself.

Twilight caught herself and realized that she was almost left behind, and would not have noticed it; save for a few magical disturbances in the air.

Twilight cleared her throat and spoke professionally.

"Thank you for informing me about this debacle, kind sir, I shall round up my friends Spike, Starlight, Discord, a friend who has dealt with sirens before... And possibly a stowaway Trixie...to embark on our romantic journey of love, peace, and saviourness!"

Starswirl rolled his eyes, and Twilight chuckled.

"Yes, you do that," Starswirl replied, irritated. "You round up your comrades, overnight survival supplies, (including a nightgown that can for me;) and meet me in the other realm.

Twilight giggled, nodded her head, closed her eyes while squeezing, and clopped her hooves together.

"Yes, SIR! We will have a fun adventure, Sir!"

Starswirl sighed and elaborated: "Yes, bring those friends and items, please. And be quick about it, I'm not going to wait for you."

Starswirl the proceeded to canter into the portal.

"Wait!" Twilight yelled. "I need to alert Sunset if your arrival!"

"Be that as it may, but make haste, he reiterated. "'I am. Not. Waiting!!'"

Twilight pinned her ears back at the outburst, thinking: "Just like Starswirl; always so pushy as ever...almost always doing things HIS way....just like his brother Discord, actually!"

Twilight did not dare utter these ponderings out loud, however; it would they would become her own demise.

Twilight preceded to run off with the magical book in her magic, calling out:

"Catch you on the flip realm, Mr. Starswirl!"

"These young ponies, and their 'hip' new slang terms, Starswirl griped, "Hurry up, young' un!"

"Wait...hold on, Twilight!" Starswirl called back, turning around - halfway through the portal.

"Yes, Sir? What is the matter?" Twilight questioned.

"There is something that I've yearned to do to you again, ever since you released me from my eternal prison."

"What is that?" Typical, trusting Twilight. She had had a foolhardy mistake. She had answered to a Unicorn with a menacing smirk.

"Yell at you."

"What?!" Twilight gasped.

"Yell at you, of course."

Right before Stawrswirl jumped into the dimension mirror, he yelled with a cacophonous voice by using the 'Royal We,' blowing the young princess away, and putting the Fear of God into her:

FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE, THOU SHALT NOT MESS WITH TIME, SPACE OR ALTERNATE WORLDS ANYMORE; YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!