Jean-Luc was standing on top of a grassy hill and around him unrolled kilometers of green in all direction, not unlike the vast fields of the familiar business. Missing only the red and green dots of the grapes and he could believe he was back in France. The Sun, quite similar to Earth's, was high in the sky and he was almost expecting his wife to call for him for diner. He had months of permission to take and unlike decades before, he was looking forward every days passed with his son. Taking a deep breath, he smelled dozen types of flowers and herbs that helped in no way separating him from his vision of his native planet.
The illusion literally came crashing down the moment he tried to turn around to have a better view of his surroundings. Something with his body wasn't working properly and his face met the ground painfully. He brought his hands forward to get up and for the first time notice they were missing. Picard knew a hoof when he saw one, the family had a few horses and younger, he did enjoy riding them. He even shoed them a few time with the help of his father. In front of his eyes, stood two black hooves with a dark red feathering, not unlike the command red of Starfleet.
"Q!" he screamed. "What have you done to me?"
He heard laughter on his right and managed to roll enough to see its source. "You should see the look on your face, priceless!"
"Q!"
Q was sitting on a large rock, his back against a tree. Somehow his admiral suit was gone, replaced by something that wouldn't be out of style in a ranch in southern America. "Welcome on a strange new world, mon capitaine," he said with a large irritating smile.
"Why did you change me into a horse?"
Q pushed up his large Stetson hat. "Ponies, Jean-Luc... Ponies. Locals don’t really like being call names." He chewed a few time on a long straw of hay. "Don't you have any consideration for the prime directive? The inhabitants haven't built their first orbital rockets yet. Do you really think I would drop the old bald you in a place, a universe, where humans don't exist? You should be happy, I even gave you some hairs."
On that, a breeze of wind blew something black in front of Picard's eyes. He raised a hoof and tried to push it off. It took him a while to notice the move that no equine of his planet could perform. "Are you telling me the sentient beings here are ponies?"
"Not all of them."
Jean-Luc took a moment to think about that last bit of information. "How many sentient species exist on this planet?"
Q's smile went wide. "Always the scientist! Dozen species!"
"That's..."
"Impossible? I told you, Jean-Luc, this is a different universe, different rules apply here. Even the laws of physics doesn't work the same way here."
Picard took a deep breath. "Alright. But does the local really have a red coat like that?"
Q laughed. "It was red or pink. But I'm not all heartless as you would think, I took your feelings into consideration,” he explained while trying to stay serious. “I do admit you would have been stunning in bright pink." Q leaned on his knee with a huge smile that didn't help putting the captain at ease. "You're in for lot of awkward moments, mon capitaine, and I'm looking forward every one of them."
"Hey! You there!" a voiced screamed behind the captain. With some difficulty, Picard managed to turn around without tripping on his hooves. An orange pony was trotting toward him. Its head was much larger in proportion to its body compared to horses he used to ride. As it came closer, he noticed its eyes were also much bigger than any Earth's animal. The pony was wearing a hat quite similar to Q's. Looking to his left, where Q was sitting, he found the omnipotent being was gone, no doubt the incoming pony didn't see him.
As the pony was only a few meters away, Picard noticed some female features to its shape. But if there is something you learn quickly from performing first contact with dozen species is to never assume anything.
"Hi." At least Picard was happy to understand their language as it would have been very troublesome without the universal translator.
"You're Pie Card, right? My contact in Manehattan said they were sending you to help with the farm, something about a doctorate in agriculture and the need to be in the field?" She said with a southern accent.
"It's Picard."
The pony raised an eyebrow in a very human manner. "Ah, I'm sorry, never understood any fancy accent of them." She lowered her hat and smiled. "Anyway, name's Applejack. Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres." For the first time, he noticed endless rows of apple tree behind her. She raised a hoof toward him.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
Jean-Luc raised a hoof in a similar manner and she quickly bumped hers into his.
"And... Who would be your 'contact' in... Manehattan?"
"I never meet him. Name's Cupid from what I heard. A weird fancy name I tell you."
Q... pid?
Picard sat down on his rear which, to his surprise, felt quite natural. "I'm afraid our mutual... friend didn't tell me what I was supposed to do here."
Applejack frowned. "Well, I asked for help in applebucking since Big Macintosh... my brother is gone to help the family in Appleloosa."
"Applebucking?"
She gave him a weird look. "You know, bucking tree so apples fall off?"
"I'm afraid I never did anything like that. But I'm hard working, if you show me how to, I'm sure I can learn very quickly," he said with a weak smile showing up on his face.
There's no point trying to run away, no choice but to play along.
A smile lightened up her face. "At least you're an honest fellow." She turned around and started to walk away. "Come, we'll see what you're made of."
Jean-Luc got up to follow her and promptly tripped on his front hooves, landing face first on the ground.
The Sun was almost gone when Picard left the farm, his whole body shaking from the efforts. His youth on the family's vineyard didn't prepare his for this. While he was used to the effort of a full day of manual labor, his body never had to kick, or buck he remembered, trees like that. The first dozen trees were the hardest as he didn't know the strength required. His legs didn't let him forget the pain when he bucked his first tree as hard as he could. His whole body vibrated violently and his teeth collided in pain.
The orange mare laughed so hard at the look of distress painting his face but quickly explained that if he would hit that hard a few more times, he would no doubt split one of his hoof open and his next weeks of work would be over. He had to hit the next few trees multiple times, the apples stubbornly refusing to fall. It took him well over half the day before he could say he found the correct amount of force needed, but even then, many trees required multiple attempts. On her side, Applejack appeared to always need a single buck to clean a whole tree of its fruits.
As the day was coming to an end, she gave him a piece of paper with an address on it. Somehow, it appears Q managed to get him some place to live in the nearby town. Jean-Luc was actually surprised that the omnipotent being would think of some details like that. He was almost half way to the small village when his brain noticed something he failed to the whole day; on Earth, no matter how strong a kick, they would be no way to make every apples fall off a tree.
I guess he's right about rules being different here. I wonder how different.
"An old bald man was standing, alone, in a white void. He's been here before, he remembered. He turned around on himself, looking if there was anything else than that bright white light coming from everywhere. He frowned as anger and impatience slowly come to fill his normally imperturbable face. He..."
"Q! Show yourself and stop narrating!"
A flash briefly appeared in front of the man and a second one stood in front of him. The new one was wearing a black and red suit decorated with gold piping, announcing him as a fleet admiral. The bald man was wearing a suit of similar design, but instead of red shoulders, they were dark grey with only the neck piece displaying the red of commandment.
"As always, mon capitaine, you're not fun," the new comer said while raising an eyebrow.
"I don't have time for this Q!"
"Oh, do say, what time you don't have, Jean-Luc?"
Jean-Luc's face was now only displaying anger. "For this, your riddle, your test."
Q clapped his hands. "How lucky you are then, no riddle and no test from me today!"
"Then what?" he countered, suspicious of his motive.
"I'm here to cheer you up!" Q said with a huge smile.
"Then truly, I don't have time for this," the captain snapped back.
Q sighed. "Jean-Luc, I never took a single second off your pathetic life. Every time I visited, I put you back exactly the same age you were before. Just the old you... with a bit more knowledge to brighten your days."
"I don't need cheering up," he countered.
"Oh but you do!" Q took a pause. "You should be celebrating and yet you're there, in your corner, looking so sad."
"Celebrating!" Picard snapped while pointing a finger a Q's nose. "Celebrating what? The death of sixty three billion people? Deaths that are your fault!"
Q stepped back and took a deep breath. "Sixty three billion one hundred twelve million four hundred fifty nine and ninety two people. Do you want me to list the number of all living beings killed when those worlds were vitrified? Or their names?"
"I..."
"I saw them all, each and every one of them die. All of them and the two trillion four hundred twenty three billion other that the Borg killed or assimilated." His smile was gone as Picard's anger.
"Why did you do nothing?"
"Did nothing? I did plenty. The Borg are gone!"
Jean-Luc crossed his arms. "What are you talking about?"
"You were talking of what's my fault? Then yes, it's my fault the Borg are truly gone," Q claimed while taking a step forward.
"You could have snapped your fingers and prevented them from existing in the first place! You could have saved all those lives!" Picard screamed.
"What is the law that you uphold, no matter the cost, even if it means taking your own life?"
Jean-Luc took a step back. "You... You mean the prime directive? Why would the Q continuum have anything like that?"
Q shook his head. "Why are you so surprised that other species could have something similar?"
"You mean..."
"That I couldn't just snap my fingers. The lower species created the Borg, they had to get rid of them by themselves." Q looked away. "I had to walk a fine line. I could not help your directly nor change your own evolution. However, it was 'permitted' that I put the right people in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"Like me?" The captain asked surprised.
"Like you and dozen others that were unaware of their roles. I'm terribly sorry that you had to be assimilated, but even you should understand that the knowledge you brought back was crucial in the Borg’s defeat." Q stared at Jean-Luc. "I had to make you face them half a century before it should have happened by itself. By meeting them while they were still far away from you, you had decades to prepare yourself, something thousands other species cannot claim."
The captain took a few deep breaths while thinking about Q's claims.
"Thanks."
A huge smile showed up on Q's face.
"What?" Picard asked.
"What what? Are you expecting me to rub it in and waste your precious appreciation of my tremendous efforts?"
The corners of the captain's mouth went down. "You are doing it right now."
"Did I tell you you're no fun?"
"I stopped counting."
"Maybe you should take this advice and consider it?" Picard pouted. Q shrugged. "Who am I kidding? Now back to cheering you up!"
"What?"
"Watching every death and assimilation from the Borg were my burden. Your, mon capitaine, is to be a beacon of hope for numerous species. And I must say, you're not doing a very good job."
Jean-Luc looked skeptical. "And how cheering me up is supposed to help with that task?"
Q put a finger to his mouth. "When was the last time you made a friend? How many do you have onboard your precious ship right now?"
"I got many!" the captain replied without thinking. "I got... I got Wo..."
"Worf?" Q rolled his eyes. "The hull of a torpedo is probably friendlier. But let's say it is a friend. Now, how many are new? Like less than a few years."
Jean-Luc went in his mind and passed the list of all the people assigned onboard his ship. He could see in his head the picture, profile and resume of each of them. While he could claim some were close colleagues, none were close enough for him to call a friend. Since the death of Data, since Riker got his own ship and left with his wife Dianna, since his own wife Beverly went back on Earth to raise his child, he was left with only Worf and Geordi. Since them, he never got close to anybody else.
He was afraid to admit it, but with time he grew cold. Friendship was something that required time and lot of personal investments. He felt he was running out of the first and was never really good at the second. Why make so much effort for something that often ends in tears?
"Friendship isn't always easy. But there's no doubt it's worth fighting for," Q said with weird look on his face. "And you, mon capitaine, are in an impressive deprivation of it."
"Now what? You're reading minds?"
"I should feel insulted that you always underestimate me like that. I can see the past, the future, alternative universe and somehow your tiny mind would be out of my reach?"
"Stay out of it," Picard snapped.
Q rolled his eyes. "Trust me, there's nothing in there worthy writing about."
"What?" He asked confused.
Q shrugged. "Don't bother, he understands." He pointed a finger toward Jean-Luc. "As for you, I know what's wrong with you, why the long face. You keep saying you're an explorer. When was the last time you explored anything?"
"I'm not afraid of my duty. Right now, the alliance of Romulan, Breen and Gorn are testing out defenses. With the lost of so many ships against the Borg, mine can't afford being in deep space exploration."
"You're cute when you do that," Q said with pity.
"Do what?" Picard asked, losing patience once again.
Q sighed. "Acting all grown up and responsible. You can't loosen up and do something unexpected, even if you tried. Do something... Childish." He snapped his fingers and a pink cupcake appeared in his hand. He offered it to the captain. "Take it."
Jean-Luc took the small cake and carefully examined it. "Then what?"
"Do something unexpected. Throw it! Step on it! Smash it between your hands! Or put it on top of your head."
"Q, I don't have t..."
"Time for this. Seriously, you sound like a broken record. I told you, time has no grasp here," Q explained as if the captain was a child. "I will be direct then, since you can't take hints anymore, like you used to." The cupcake disappeared in a flash. "Your mind is getting near the breaking point. Yours is relatively strong for a human, but everyone's mind has a limit. Soon you will become insane, wacko, spider in the roof, gone," Q said while grabbing his own head.
"I..."
"You will try to deny it. Think you're so strong that it cannot happen to you. I've personally known a million times more people who became insane than you've met in your whole life. You've been assimilated, you fought wars and survived the death of billions. Dear captain, trust me, you're losing it. Your mind is breaking apart and you're at the point where you can't even notice it."
"So?"
Q opened his arms. "I'm giving you an opportunity. You fancy yourself an explorer? You will be able to do just that in a place where your ship, could never reach. In a place where rules are different, where magic is science. Where some could teach you to loosen up and keep your mind healthy."
Jean-Luc thought about it for a moment. "Why do you care so much?"
"The big picture, mon capitaine, the big picture. What you will do in a year or a decade from now can have effects in the lives of hundreds of billions in a thousand years."
"And why do you care about them?"
Q smiled. "How do you see humanity in a million years from now?"
"What?"
Q shook his head. "Tss... I promised no riddle! Just forget I said anything."
Picard sighed, giving up. "So, where is that special place that my ship can't reach?"
"Jean-Luc, I think you once said you like horses?"
