A Few Bits Short

by RazBro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6
Length: 25633

The Mane Six find out what happens when you try to dine and dash

After being stood up by Princess Celestia at one of Canterlot's most prestigious restaurants, the mane six plus Spike are stuck with the bill. How are they going to repay their massive tab?

Coverart created by the talented Seto.

Published 2012-07-18 16:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-26 14:23:01 UTC

Help Wanted?

~A Few Bits Short~

Chapter Two: Help Wanted?

“I don’t understand.”

“…There’s a sink, soap, some steel wool, and a lot of pots and pans. What’s to understand?”

Rarity looked back at the dish room lead stallion, Sudsy Cloth, with cluelessness in her eyes.

“But they’re dirty.”

Sudsy raised a hoof to his forehead and willed the pending headache away. He had thought it a blessing the first time he had been working and the restaurant manager, Bottom Line, brought back a bill dodger to scrub the pots and pans. He thought it would ease his burden to split up the work, but more often than not he got high-society brats who thought they were above such mundane tasks.

“Tha’s the point, sugarcube,” Applejack said, stepping forward towards the sink and eying the job ahead. A kitchen staff-mare trotted by and dropped off three more pans into the sink with an unceremonious splash that Rarity took a step back from.

The six mares plus dragon were in the restaurants kitchen, specifically the corner of the kitchen where the sinks for scrubbing the pots and pans and the dishwasher for cleaning the plates and silverware resided.

Rarity eyed the whole corner with evident distaste. She looked at Twilight with pleading eyes, but the lavender unicorn replied with an annoyed stare.

“For the last time Rarity, I am not teleporting us home,” Twilight said.

“Oh, why me?” She replied, looking away and stifling a sob, but unable to throw herself on the ground dramatically because well, it was wet, there were several stains, and it kind of smelled.

“Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Fluttershy, if you would accompany me please…” Bottom Line said as he led the three away towards their task.

~~~

Earlier

After their rather audible spat in the dining room regarding the mammoth bill they had incurred Bottom Line had led them all back to his office to talk privately about how to settle their debt.

“When we found out the Princess wasn’t going to be coming, the waiter had dropped off the bill and it was too late,” Twilight finished her explanation of events. Bottom Line considered their side of the story as he examined their bill, raising an eyebrow as most of the selections were among the most expensive on the menu- not only to the customer but also expensive for the restaurant to make.

“Be that as it may, we still stand at an impasse. I cannot allow the public to think I am letting you off easy. That oaf Blueblood already thinks this should be his personal dining hall,” Bottom Line said, rolling his eyes at the end of his statement.

“We’re terribly sorry for causing such a problem…” Fluttershy said, looking down and dragging her hoof across the ground.

Bottom Line sighed and looked back up across the six ponies. They all did seem genuinely repentant, save for the cyan pegasus, who just looked bored.

“Your story seems plausible. Normally for a bill this big I would have to involve the authorities. However, in this case I believe some labor may do the trick…” He said, already looking at his schedule to see where holes in his staff had appeared that night.

“L-labor?” Rarity said with widened eyes.

“I need extra workers back in the dishroom. And a few servers would be nice, it’s crowded tonight and a couple of my best waiters are out. You’ll work for the remainder of the night, and then we shall call it even. Will you accept these terms?” Bottom Line said without looking up and already assuming their answer as he started marking who would be placed where.

Twilight frowned slightly but more at the situation. She thought it was fair, and looked towards the others to see how they felt. After nodding their agreement, Twilight spoke up.

“If it clears our names, we’ll gladly help.”

“Excellent. Now, you three…” Bottom Line went on giving the mares and dragon their tasks.

~~~

“Stupid…Would you just…Augh!”

Twilight looked away from the mirror and back towards Rainbow Dash who was struggling to get her bow tie to lie correctly. Fluttershy trotted over to assist as she ripped it off her neck and threw it on the ground.

“Waitresses? Really? Come on, Twilight we don’t need this. Why can’t we just bail?” Rainbow said as she lifted her neck and allowed Fluttershy to attach the bow tie correctly to the jacket the waitstaff wore.

“What would it do for our reputation, Rainbow? Just think of it as the same as when we were helping Applejack with the cider harvest…We’re doing a public service,” Twilight said calmly. Admittedly, she wasn’t pleased with having to spend the rest of her evening here, but she accepted the consequences of their actions even if they weren’t necessarily their fault.

“Why don’t these jackets even make room for wings? Do they only hire earth ponies and unicorns here? Racist.” Rainbow grumbled as the jacket forced her wings to remain folded against her sides.

“Are you three about ready? There are tables already seated for you,” Bottom Line said from outside the restroom they had made their changing room.

Having finished Rainbow’s outfit, the three promptly exited and stood before the manager who eyed them up and down to be sure they looked professional enough for the job ahead. He scowled at Rainbow’s unkempt mane but looked past it.

“Good enough. Follow me. Here are some order pads and pens. Ask the kitchen staff if you need anything else. Remember people come here as much for the experience as for the cuisine. Be polite, courteous, and engaged in small talk and conversation if they decide to speak to you,” he said as he eyed the dining room through the window in the door.

“What about tips?” Rainbow asked.

“I’ll be keeping what you take in to help cover your tab,” the manager said without looking back at them.

“What! But what if we make more than the bill was?” Rainbow asked.

“Then I suppose I’ll have no more reason to keep you. Consider it an incentive,” Bottom Line said, looking back at them. “Alright, Twilight you will be covering section three, Fluttershy section five, and Rainbow Dash you have section two. There are already seated parties, so get out there.”

Fluttershy gulped as she looked out of the window and saw all the patrons. The three ponies walked through the door and headed to their respective sections.

~~~

“How about you handle this one, Applejack?”

The cowpony grit her teeth as she looked down at her precarious pile of pots and pans. Shooting a sidelong glance at Rarity she spoke in what had to be the last bit of quickly dwindling civility remaining.

“I’mma might busy here, Rarity. Why don’t you- is that the same pan you started with?” She asked incredulously.

Rarity’s eyes were wide and blank as you could almost see how she was trying to work her way out of, well, working. Finally, she tittered a nervous laugh.

“Why, of course not. They already, um, took my stack,” Rarity said unconvincingly. Applejack ignored her and let her off the hook as she continued scrubbing the stains and food remnants out of her pans.

Rarity used her magic to manipulate the scouring pad against the surface of her pan, trying to scrape off some stubbornly resistant dried sauce. The effort was half-hearted.

Of course, she was a guru of kitchen cleanliness and perfect preparation in her own home…But those were her messes. Or Sweetie Belle’s. But the point was, she knew those messes. These could have been caused by diseased changelings for all she knew. A few more weak telekinetic attempts at cleaning the pot finally broke Applejack’s patience, who had started watching her.

“Oh for Celestia’s sake…” She said as she put down her pan and stood next to Rarity. Suddenly she grabbed her hoof and shoved it into the sinkful of water and dishes.

Such a shrill, piercing shriek emitted from Rarity that it caused Spike, who was loading dishes into the dishwasher conveyor belt, to flinch and drop the plate he was holding. It broke apart into several pieces on the floor and he turned around to see what had happened.

“You. Did. Not. Justdothat!” Rarity said in a dangerous tone, retrieving her hoof from the dirty water and shaking off a clump of some wet food that had stuck to her.

“Put on some hoof covers and git on with it, the sooner ya put yer back inta it, the sooner we’ll be done!” Applejack said impatiently, going back to her own stack of pots and taking another one down to scrub. Rarity was still in shocked silence as she glared at her friend and then turned up her nose. She put on the appropriate gear to protect her hooves as much as she could and with an indignant, yet defeated air started to scrub her pot with a little more vigor.

“Hey, dragon! Keep loading, we’re gettin’ backed up over here!”

“And try not to break anymore plates, eh?”

Spike came back to his sense and turned back around towards the machine. To his left a belt of rollers carried trays full of dirty dishes, glasses, and silverware. A couple of ponies who worked to clear the trash and whole food from the plates before going into the dishwasher were starting to run out of room.

“Whoops! Sorry!” Spike called back and resumed grabbing plates and loading them onto the machine. This was the only job that Sudsy had found he was able to do, considering his arms were too short to reach into the sinks to clean the pots. Plus it was rather easy, and Sudsy didn’t want to put too much responsibility on the young dragon.

The dishwasher was industrial-sized, seeing as the restaurant was quite large and went through a great deal of dishware. A conveyer belt made of rows upon rows of three-inch plastic tines made a continuous rotation through the machine. All one had to do was place plates, glasses, and silverware on the belt and it would carry it through the machine to be cleaned and then removed and stored for future use on the other end. Steam and sprinkles of hot water escaped the flaps on the exiting end.

He quickly loaded the plates onto the belt, trying to make the most efficient use of the tines as they went by. On the other end, Pinkie Pie was working with Sudsy to take the clean dishes off the belt and stack them onto carts that would be carried away back to the storage cabinets.

She worked well and with a smile on her face taking the plates of and stacking them up to be taken away. Sudsy was actually mildly impressed by her work ethic.

Until she began to get bored.

“Ooh, watch this!”

She took a plate off the conveyor belt and then rolled it down her leg, across her shoulders, and down the other leg where it clattered to a stop on top of the other plates.

Sudsy blanched as he then watched her take another plate and balance it on her nose before setting it down.

“Please, no! Don’t-“

Another crashing noise was heard as Pinkie Pie looked towards Sudsy while stacking up ten glasses. They all came crashing down as she turned her attention towards the dish leader, who closed his eyes and winced as they all shattered on the ground.

“Oops…” Pinkie smiled sheepishly.

“Just unload them onto the cart… Please. No fancy stuff,” Sudsy said, as he sighed and collected a broom and dustpan to sweep up the broken glass. There wasn’t a penalty per se for breaking dishware, but if too much was lost in a single night, he wouldn’t put it past Bottom Line to start imposing a fine.

~~~

“Hmm…How are the greens? Are they green?”

“Cut fresh every day, ma’am,” Rainbow replied in a monotone voice that could have been mistaken for quiet professionalism, but really came from a profound sense of boredom.

“I think I’ll have that as my side then,” The older mare said as she looked at the list of options.

“Very well then,” she said as she scrawled the choice down on her notepad. She was already irritated that she couldn’t flex her wings, and having to walk around and deal with all these hoighty-toighty, high society ponies really didn’t do much for her mood.

“Oh! I didn’t see the sweet potatoes! Oh, but they’re two bits extra…What do you think, are they worth it?” She asked looking up from the menu.

“Uh…I haven’t had them before, I really wouldn’t know,” Rainbow replied as the mare clucked and then looked at her menu, musing over her options again.

“Ugh, come on already, lady! Just pick something, it all comes frozen anyway!” Dash though to herself in annoyance. The way she saw it, the faster she could serve these tables, the more parties she’d go through, the more tips she’d get, and the faster they could all get out of here. “Pick something already and get on with it, jeez.”

“Well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you!” the mare suddenly said repugnantly.

Dash broke out of her reverie and suddenly realized that she had voiced her last thought out loud. Flinching in embarrassment, she broke into a bad smile.

“Oh! I’m sorry I wasn’t, uh talking to you I was um…Talking to…Twilight! Hurry up and serve that table, they’ve been waiting!” Rainbow suddenly turned towards a few tables away where Twilight looked up in surprise and confusion.

The mare looked unconvinced.

“I’ll take the greens, then,” she said with her nose turned up.

“Good choice! Yea, fresh-cut! They’re great! Heh heh.”

“Well there goes that tip…” Rainbow thought to herself this time and brought the mare and her husband’s order back to the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Twilight looked back towards the table she was currently serving.

“So you’ll have the daffodils with rosemary sauce over rice pilaf with our house white wine and you’re getting the artichoke heart soup with our Caesar salad and coffee, with cream and a hint of hazelnut,” Twilight said looking back over towards the couple as they stared towards her and her empty notepad.

“Why yes, that’s right. Very good, dear,” The elderly mare said with a smile. Twilight smiled back and trotted away, confident that she would have made an excellent waitress had she not been Celestia’s personal protégé. Not that she would have chosen that anyway.

Suddenly she felt something pinch against her flank and she yelped while rushing forward a few steps before looking back with wide eyes.

Sitting at the table she had just passed was a young stallion who was smirking haughtily and leering towards her. He offered her a lazy wink and then looked back at his group of two other stallions around the same age that were chuckling.

With one eye twitching and blood rising furiously to her cheeks, her mouth opened and closed a number of times as she processed just what she should be feeling and how she should respond. Finally, she turned and ducked quickly back into the kitchen. Her cheeks were still stained a bright crimson as she relayed the elderly couple’s order to the chefs.

“What happened to you?” Rainbow Dash asked as she prepared to head back out into the dining room, but stopped when she saw her flustered friend.

“He…He pinched me! As I was passing by, he just grabbed me!” Twilight finally stammered out, still somewhat in shock.

“What? Who?” Rainbow said, tilting her head to the side, though a slow grin was starting to spread across her face.

“One of the stallions in that party of three sitting just…Over there,” Twilight said, pointing to the table through the small window in the door.

Rainbow looked through and started chuckling.

“Hey, he’s pretty cute,” Rainbow said.

“Rainbow! That’s not the point!”

“I’m just saying,” Rainbow shrugged her shoulders, “flirt it up a little, he’ll leave a nice fat tip and we can all get out of here a little sooner!”

“F-…Flirt?” Twilight said nervously.

“You’ve never flirted with anypony before?” Rainbow said incredulously at first, but then as she thought about it she nodded, “Yea, I guess you are a bit of a shut-in.”

“Hey!”

“Is for ponies, and one of my tables. Gotta go. Just give it a try, whattaya got to lose?” Rainbow said as she laughed and walked back through the door, leaving an utterly confused and now nervous Twilight behind.

“He’s sort of cute…” She said to herself thoughtfully.

~~~

“This coffee is insipid. Get me a fresh cup.”

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry sir. I’ll get that for you right away…I’ll be right back!” Fluttershy said as she took the glass and started back for the kitchens away from the older pegasus stallion who scowled while she walked away and continued picking at his meal.

“Hold it! Bring me fresh silverware too, you can see the water spots on these! Filthy,” he added, dropping his fork on the table in disgust. Fluttershy turned around and trotted back quickly.

“Oh dear. I’m so sorry, sir I’ll take care of that,” she said as she gathered up his silverware and turned around again for the kitchen.

“And you’ll address me as General. I am the 3rd Major General in Her Majesty’s Royal Air Force, after all. Don’t you recognize your superiors, girl?” he said gruffly.

“Of course sir- I mean General. I’m sorry. I’ll get your silverware and coffee just as soon as I can,” Fluttershy whimpered as she tried to back away.

“You’ll get it now. And just bring the cream with you. I’ll put it in. I might as well have been drinking pure sweetener. My wife could make better coffee.” He said before finally shooing her away.

”Yes, sir.” She said in an unintelligible whisper as she dashed back towards the kitchen.

“Oh my goodness…I want to go home…” She thought to herself, dreading the long night ahead.

Order Up!

~A Few Bits Short~

Chapter Three: Order Up!

The stain.

This stupid, stubborn, seemingly now malevolent stain.

It was the bane of her existence.

"Uh...You ok there, sugarcube?" Applejack asked in a more concerned tone than last she spoke to Rarity. Since Applejack's prodding, the white unicorn had resigned herself to have the ordeal over with as soon as she could help it. After all, she was already going to be treating herself to an extended stay with Aloe and Lotus tomorrow just for having set foot back here. She might as well really get into it now to make the trip truly worth it. However...

It was, or had been, a pot used to make soup. Under Rarity's scouring steel wool and attention to detail it was spotless. Save for one. Burnt. Stain.

"Ya' could jus' let that one soak for a while you know? Get through the other pans in your stack first?" Applejack suggested. Rarity was bent over the sink staring down the stain, her head almost inside of the pot itself and her mane long since wrapped in a net so as to preserve it as best she could. She was attacking the stain with grim determination, giving up on using her hooves to maneuver the scouring pad and now using magic while she held the pot steady.

"Just a few more strokes, Applejack. I will see you gone!" the unicorn spoke to the offending stain.

"...How long has she been at it?"

Applejack looked back at one of the kitchen aides who had come back to pick up a clean set of dishes to bring back for use, a stallion with a curious look on his face.

"More'n a few minutes I suspect. I wasn't really payin' attention until now," Applejack replied.

"That pot has had that stain for months, you know," the stallion said as he started to stack cleaned pots and pans onto his rolling cart.

"Yeh know yer pots 'n pans by the stains?" Applejack asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. The stallion merely shrugged in response.

"I'd venture to say I've personally handled every piece of this dishware a thousand times over. You start to take notice. Strange, I know but you pick up on things," the stallion said dismissively.

“What’s yer name?” Applejack asked, since she thought it might be helpful to get to know some of the kitchen staff. And he wasn’t half bad to look at either. With a pale grey coat, unkempt blonde mane, and a physique that suggested he definitely did his share of hard work, Applejack wouldn’t mind terribly getting to know him better

“Grease,” he responded after a short pause.

“Grease?” Applejack repeated, trying to hold back the smile for fear of offense.

“That’s what everyone here calls me, anyway. My real name is…uh. Ellbogen. It’s a family name.”

“Well shoot, no sense bein’ ashamed of a family name. The Apple name goes way, way back. I'm Applejack.”

Before their conversation could continue, Rarity let out a considerable grunt of frustration. Grease looked over at the pot then back at Applejack.

"Really, it's clean enough. I could uh...take it off her hooves perhaps?"

Rarity, who had been muttering to herself whipped her head around suddenly and glared down the kitchen aide with sharp eyes.

"No. This one is mine."

"He knows that, darlin', but yer stack is really startin' to pile up... If yeh don't move on we'll be here all night!" Applejack cajoled, trying to use the incentive of getting out of here to break Rarity of her mission of absolute sterility.

"I'll take that. Looks great, keep up the work," the kitchen aide said then, reaching over and taking the pot from Rarity. Soon a light blue magical aura enveloped the dish and started to tug back.

"I'm not finished! It's positively filthy!" Rarity said, her voice starting to pitch upward. Applejack's ears flattened against her head, fearing the shrill tones to follow.

"Lady, this pot is cleaner than it's been in months. You did a good job! Now...Just let me..." Grease struggled to put the pot onto the rolling cart against the aura's grip.

"But! Filthy!"

"It's fine!"

"Filthy!"

"Fi-!" Grease suddenly lost his grip on the pot as Rarity's magic overwhelmed his hooves. The pot flew back into Rarity's head with enough force to dunk her face into the sink water, the netting containing her mane also coming loose and sending her curls to a watery and soapy grave.

Applejack's eyes had never been wider. Before the unicorn could react he turned to Grease.

"Ye'll be wantin' to leave. You do not want to be around for this. Trust me." The stallion quickly gathered his cart and hurriedly made his way back to the kitchen.

With a dramatic gasp, Rarity's head came back into the air, an utterly shocked and lost expression on her face.

"I..." She looked down at her hooves, started feeling her mane, started looking around wildly.

"I..."

"Now Rarity..." Applejack said, moving over and trying to offer comfort.

"I need a mirror."

"It's really not that bad, there was soap in the water! Yeh jus'...Took a bath."

"I need. A mirror."

Applejack grit her teeth and handed her a pan that had been cleaned. It's shiny, copper surface provided an adequate reflection for Rarity to use. Eyes determined to find the slightest flaw focused intensely on the reflection. The water really had been mostly clean, seeing as Rarity hadn't quite done that much work yet. Yet the unicorn's eyes widened and started to tear up.

There.

On her nose.

On her pristine, beautiful, daintily-upturned nose.

Spinach. Wet, dripping, surely-contaminated spinach.

~~~

Princess Luna came to attention suddenly when the glass of the window she had been walking past suddenly shuddered slightly and then just as quickly stopped. She eyed the window curiously for a moment then continued on her way towards the Royal Study. "Well that was odd..."

~~~

Back in the kitchen, the dish area was relatively silent after what all the ponies present had just been accosted with. Even the roar of the dish machine seemed subtle by comparison.

"Holy Mother of Celestia..." Applejack said as she tried to shake the ringing out of her ears. Rarity had collapsed into a sobbing pile after her shriek.

"C'mon now, Rarity! I've seen you covered head ta' toe in mud without that kinda reaction. It's jus' a little water!" Applejack said as she somewhat playfully splashed a little bit of (clean) water onto her from the sink. Two steely eyes immediately seared themselves into Applejack's nightmares.

"Ok, that was a mistake."

"Just a little water? See how you like it!" Rarity raged as she splashed a large amount of water out of her sink straight at Applejack, hitting her square in the face and soaking her hat and mane.

"Ah! Hey not tha' hat! Now it's gonna get all smelly..." the tan mare said, taking off her hat and trying to wipe away some of the moisture.

"As if it weren't already!" Rarity said venomously, splashing another helping of liquid justice into the cowpony's face. She put up a hoof to block it and squinted against the onslaught.

"Hey now missy, you don't wanna get me started..."

"Or what? I bet this is the first time you've had a good soaking since applebucking season!" Rarity retorted.

That was it. This prissy little unicorn was going down.

Applejack set her Stetson back onto her head and with a controlled glare, picked up a pan full of soap and water and emptied it at Rarity.

All sense of stability in the situation vanished. The stack of dirty pots and pans were forgotten. Rarity and Applejack were now locked in a battle of soapy proportions. It cascaded across Rarity's already dripping mane. It splattered off of Applejack's loosening braid. It glistened off of Rarity's flank.

It was Spike's biggest, wettest dream come true.

Spike had been watching Rarity out of the corner of his eye for the entirety of his work, but now that a full-out war of the suds situation was developing before him, the line of dishes ready to go through the washer started piling up. The two mares were soon completely drenched as Sudsy took notice of the situation and started to intervene.

Spike felt a strange sensation between his legs. Like something tugging; subtle and gentle at first but starting to get stronger and more persistent.

Drawn out of his daydream by the sensation he confusedly turned his head around to see what had gotten hold of his tail.

“Uh oh…” Spike said, seeing that his tail had gotten caught in the rows of tines going through the dishwasher when he had turned around to watch the water fight. He quickly seized his tail and attempted to free himself but it was too late. The powerful motor driving the conveyor yanked him off his feet and off the stool he had been standing on and onto the belt.

“Ah! Help!”

His cry went unnoticed as Sudsy was holding Rarity back from dumping an entire soup well of water over Applejack’s head. Flecks of hissing water escaped the drapes that led to the inside of the machine. The jets of boiling hot water and plumes of steam now seemed intent on dragging him to his doom.

“Nooooooo!” Spike cried as the drapes fell over him and he fell prey to the merciless machine.

~~~

Out on the dining floor, Twilight nervously approached the table of stallions she had previously served to check on their progress. Incidentally, this party also included the bold pony who had pinched Twilight's flank as she passed by. Encouraged by Rainbow to try out a little 'harmless' flirting to increase her tips she eyed the stallion in question as she approached.

Nearby, Rainbow had just finished taking an order when she spotted Twilight approaching the table. Conveniently passing within earshot, she smirked. "This outta be good."

"How is everything tasting tonight...uh..cuteness?"

The stallions snickered to themselves while Rainbow nearly tripped upon passing and had to shove a hoof to her mouth to stop bursting out from laughing.

"Everything's great, doll. How do you taste?" the stallion replied smugly.

Twilight's lavender face suddenly burnt a bright feverish pink as she stammered unintelligibly, trying and failing to come up with a response. Rainbow's ear flicked in annoyance. Flirting was one thing, but being that forward with one of her friends? That crossed the line. She made her way over to the table and shouldered Twilight aside, who gratefully accepted the help.

"Watch it, punk. She's not interested," Rainbow said bluntly.

"Well that's a shame. I must say though whoever does the hiring here has fine taste in mares. How about you then, sugar? You getting ready to take off, or are you just happy to see me?" He said grinning. His two friends chuckled.

Rainbow's wings had been straining against her server's jacket, naturally wanting to unfurl when she was getting angry. Her face burned, but more from the stallion's arrogance than any embarrassment.

Twilight, sensing Rainbow about to lose it stepped back in, more confident this time.

"I'll handle this, Rainbow" Twilight said.

"Your check, gentlecolts," she ended sweetly, producing the black leather binder that contained their bill. The abrupt change of tone and subject caused the lead pony to nod his head at one of the other two, who rolled his eyes and took out his wallet. The bolder stallion then turned a leering gaze back on Twilight.

"You in a hurry to get out of here, sweetheart? Maybe I could give you a ride," he said sneering.

"That's funny. I was just about to offer you the same thing." Twilight said smoothly. The stallion and his companions shared a look and boorish grins.

"Yea? Sounds wild."

"You got it," Twilight finished, holding her head high and winking. With a flash and sharp pop, her magic engulfed the three stallions and teleported them out of the restaurant.

Rainbow's jaw dropped.

"That. Was. Awesome! Where did you send them?" The pegasus looked excitedly at Twilight.

"Just the top of the mountain. In a pretty deep snow drift if I aimed right. That should cool them off. Oh look! What a generous tip. You're right, Rainbow, a little wink here and there does help," the unicorn said as she gathered up the bill and the left-behind wallet of the paying stallion.

Rainbow watched Twilight walk away to the register with a new respect for her egghead friend.

"Excuse me, young lady, our order?" an agitated voice called out.

Rainbow snapped out of her reverie and forgot that she hadn't even placed the order from the last table she'd talked to yet.

"Shoot...There goes another tip..." she thought to herself.

"Coming right up!"

~~~

"Stop."

The authoritative command halted Fluttershy in her tracks as she tried desperately to leave the General's table without incident after dropping off his coffee. She turned around, hiding behind her mane as the General added his own cream and took the mug to his lips shakily. Blowing on it a few times to cool it he finally took it into his mouth.

Fluttershy trembled under his silence.

"Adequate."

Fluttershy let out a pent up breath of relief.

"But I suppose you didn't really have much to do with that, now did you? Bring the next course when it's ready. Dismissed."

"O-of course, sir. General! Of course G-General." she said turning around and trotting as quickly as she could back to the kitchen. Her bottom lip trembled at the thought of serving him again. He had only finished his first course, who knew how long he would be there?

As she passed back into the kitchen, she nearly crashed into a serving cart laden with clean pots and pans. The pegasus began backpedaling abruptly, a profuse stream of apologies already started coming out of her mouth.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to..." She trailed off as her eyes watered from the stress of the situations.

Grease had quickly maneuvered the cart out of the way and chuckled.

"No big deal, don't worry about it. Hey uh...Are you ok?" he said, realizing the mare's fragile state.

"I'm...fine." She said very quietly, and backing up towards the nearest door, attempting to leave the encounter.

"You sure? Because you're about to trap yourself in the freezer," he said with what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

Fluttershy looked behind her as she felt the chilly air roll out of the open freezer door. She lowered her head and dragged her front hoof across the ground, hoping he would go away.

"Uh..I'm Grease. I'm guessing you're with the others, huh? Can't say I'd want to spend the rest of my night here if I didn't have to," the stallion said, trying to relieve the awkwardness of the situation. Fluttershy turned her head and remained silent. Grease scratched the back of his neck, still wanting to get to the bottom of what had obviously upset her. Noting the serving jacket she wore, he peeked out the window into the dining area and saw the General calmly sipping his coffee. He scowled.

"Now it makes sense. Listen that guy's just a big pain in the flank. He's been on a power trip for years," Grease said turning back to Fluttershy who sniffled slightly.

"I started out as a server you know. Until he become a regular. One night I just blew up at him and then bam. Kitchen duty ever since," Grease said, hoping maybe he could at least get something out of the yellow mare. She looked up with one clear eye.

"Really?" She asked quietly.

"Totally. He returned his dish three times because it was too cold, then too hot, then there was a hair in it...All my fault of course. He just likes to be in control," Grease finished.

"It's more than that," Fluttershy said suddenly, "he's rude, and impatient, and mean, and I bet he doesn't like bunnies!"

Fluttershy defiantly, yet somehow still timidly, stomped her hoof on the floor, feeling a little better after venting her frustration.

"Oh dear...I didn't mean to shout like that..." She immediately retreated again into her mane.

Considering her voice had never rose above the level of polite dinner conversation, Grease chuckled.

"No worries. Just stand up to him, yea? You don't work here. You don't have to kiss his boots. What's the worst that could happen?"

Fluttershy considered his suggestion as he shrugged and then took control of the cart again, heading towards the kitchen to drop them off. "Good luck," he called over his shoulder.

Fluttershy looked out the window again at the patron in question, a thoughtful look in her eye.

~~~

Pinkie Pie had been diligently emptying the dishes from the back of the machine. Stacking plates and cups was monotonous work, and really the only reason she hadn't wandered off and found something better to do was because of Sudsy's constant vigilance. But now that he had hurried over to stop Applejack and Rarity from drowning each other she was left unsupervised.

At first she wanted to see how tall she could stack the plates. She got to a stack of thirty before the round of plates Spike had previously loaded stopped and switched to bowls. So she began to stack those, but before they could reach an adequate height as well, the dishes coming through switched again.

"Hmm... Give meeee....Cups!"

she stared at the flaps that the conveyor belt slowly moved through. Sure enough the next item to come through were a set of glass cups. Pinkie clapped her hooves together excitedly and stacked them up.

"Show me silverware!"

A few crates of silverware sluggishly made their way through the flaps and into Pinkie's hooves, who by now distractedly set them aside on top of a pile of dirty rags.

"What are you doing?" Grease, who had come back for more dishware stared at the pink pony who was now impatiently tapping her hoof, leaning against the machine, chanting, "Bowls, bowls, bowls...Bowls!"

A high-pitched giggle escaped as she picked them up and tossed them over her shoulder, eager for the next set of dishes.

"Hey! Watch it!" Grease reacted and tried to catch as many of the airborne bowls as he could, yet a few escaped his grasp and shattered against the floor.

"Oops..." Pinkie turned around after hearing the crash. "Sorry. I got distracted. I'm guessing which dishes will come out of the machine next!"

"...Right." Grease said, stacking the remaining bowls neatly onto his cart, as well as dividing the precarious stack of dishes already there. What was it with these crazy ponies? He supposed everypony had their own way of passing the time on a long shift though.

"Bet'cha we get some salad plates next!" Pinkie said turning back to the machine. A short row of small plates rumbled through the flaps.

"Four for four, baby!" Pinkie pumped her hoof and set the plates aside a little more gently this time.

"Ten bits you don't get the next one," Grease said with a smirk.

"You're on! Spoon me!" She said turning around dramatically and pointing at the machine. Grease cleared his throat and shifted his eyes at her rather awkward phrasing.

The flaps started to part, preparing to divulge it's contents.

"Spoons spoons spoons sp-...Spike?"

The flaps unceremoniously parted to reveal Spike lying flat on his belly across the tines. He had freed his tail in the machine but was busily trying to rub the water out of his eyes.

"Spike! Are you okay?" Pinkie gathered him up off the belt and set him gingerly on the ground. The baby dragon spat some water out of his mouth and coughed a couple times before clearing his throat and looking at the machine with a glare.

"Just tell Twilight that I won't need a bath for a week at least," he said disdainfully.

"Heh. You owe me ten bits," Grease said elbowing Pinkie.

"Not fair! Spike, you cheated!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Ah, as long as the kid's fine, don't worry about it," Grease said, filling up his cart and departing for the kitchens once more.

Just then, yet another crash resounded throughout the dishroom, loud enough to finally get even Rarity and Applejack's attention, whom Sudsy was standing in between, now just as soaked as the mares. The line of dishes leading up to the dishwasher that were waiting for Spike to load finally became too backed up and toppled from the belt of rollers. At least a dozen plates, glasses, and silverware met their demise at the unforgiving floor.

Spike winced with each piece of destroyed porcelain and looked up sheepishly at Sudsy, who facehoofed and let out a long exasperated sigh.

"What in Celestia's name is going on back here?!" a voice roared across the room.

Bottom Line strode angrily across the room, taking note of the broken bowls at the unloading end of the machine, and the strewn wreckage of dishware on Spike's end. Applejack and Rarity froze, just as Rarity was about to smear a ladle-full of dish soap into Applejack's mane.

"Well she started it," Rarity huffed.

Author's Note

Has it really been that long already since the last update? My apologies to everyone. I will do my best to not make it be another 4 months before an update. Enjoy!

Save Room for Dessert

~A Few Bits Short~

Chapter Five: Save Room for Dessert

"I'm cold, bro."

"Shut up. We're all cold, idiot."

A unicorn and two earth pony stallions slowly trudged through a nearly flank-deep drift of snow. The unicorn led the way, a warm light emitting from his horn and lighting their path ahead. It's warmth did little to ward off the chill mountain air however. At least it wasn't snowing at the time. The three stallions were on the top of the mountain that Canterlot rooted itself against. They made their way towards a stone platform that lay at the top of the mountain for sight-seers, pilgrims, or couples just looking for a good place to stargaze. As late in the night as it was getting and as cold as it was however, no other ponies populated it.

"My father is going to hear about this. She won't be able to so much as wash a dish in this town again," the unicorn said heatedly.

One of the earth stallions whispered something to the other and they both snickered. The unicorn heard and looked back menacingly.

"You don't think I can? I'll see her on the streets!" The unicorn threatened.

"You don't take rejection well, bro," one of the earth stallions said.

"Because no one rejects Silver Key," the unicorn said with a heavy scowl, "she'll get what's coming to her."

~~~

Fluttershy carried a tray out of the kitchen door and made her way quickly but quietly towards the General's table. She placed the plate of food in front of him and then stood back, awaiting his approval to leave. She hid behind her mane and avoided eye contact.

The General was a man of routine. He always got the same secluded table set apart from the main dining hall on its own. He always had his own dedicated server, and he always had the same meal. A cup of coffee, followed by a light bowl of soup, then the main course with another cup of coffee, and if he was feeling particularly distant from his wife, a glass of scotch and privacy.

Fluttershy studied the red plush carpet intensely as she awaited the General's word. His meal tonight was a dish of butternut squash ravioli with a light cream sauce complemented by carrots, zucchini and red peppers. Using his horn to levitate a fork into the dish he picked apart the food, eyeing it critically. Lifting a bite to his mouth, he ate.

"It's cold. Probably been sitting out for ten minutes waiting for you to bring it out. My grandfilly walks around with more poise and confidence. What wrong with you?" the General said, laying down the fork and staring hard at Fluttershy.

"N-nothing..." Fluttershy replied in an inaudible voice. She couldn't meet the General's gaze and turned her head away. Tears began to gather in the corner of her eyes.

"I can't hear you, girl."

Fluttershy swallowed and attempted to recover. She looked in the General's direction and instead replied, "Would you like me to take it back to the kitchen?"

The General was fortunately able to comprehend her answer. He scowled and took another bite. "And wait another fifteen minutes? No. Tell the bar that I want my drink. Three fingers. And I better not wait long. Dismissed."

Fluttershy nodded, and backed away. She began to regain her composure as she left his presence and walked through the kitchen, heading out another door and to a bar area. A few customers sat at the dark oak bar on stools, talking with one another, while the barpony trotted back and forth, refilling drinks and collecting tabs. Fluttershy walked behind the bar, immediately getting the barpony's attention as he looked over to see who had violated the sanctity of his workspace. Although he didn't recognize Fluttershy, he took note of the server's jacket and quickly trotted over to see what she needed.

"Going to be busy here soon, what do you need?" he asked quickly but politely. Fluttershy opened her mouth to tell him but then realized that the General had never told her what his drink was.

"Oh...Um...T-three fingers?" she said hopefully, not knowing any brand-name alcohol very well, or much about its consumption for that matter. The barpony raised an eyebrow as he waited for her to continue. When she didn't he sighed.

"Three fingers of what?" he prompted.

"I...I don't know," she said, starting to panic at having to go back and ask the General again for his drink order.

"Who is it for?" the barpony asked, seeing her distress and trying to help out.

"The General, in the other room," Fluttershy nearly whispered. The barpony's eyes finally lit up with recognition.

"Ah, I see, why didn't you say so? He gets the same thing every time. Give me a minute. Three fingers you said? Must be having a rough night," the stallion said, moving about the bar and putting together a simple glass of dark amber liquid that Fluttershy didn't recognize. He set the glass on a tray and then thought for a moment and added the bottle to the tray.

"You better just bring him the whole bottle, I'm sure this won't be his first. He prefers to serve himself anyway. Oh, you'll need this too," he added, putting a small silver boat of ice cubes onto the tray alongside the bottle.

"Oh, thank you so much," Fluttershy said, taking the tray gratefully.

"Not at all, doll. Let me know if he needs anything else," he said, turning towards his other customers. Fluttershy blushed slightly and carried the tray back through the kitchen towards the General's private table. She approached him carefully, feeling his eyes on her as she set down the tray, careful not to spill the drink.

"The whole bottle, eh? First thing you've done right all night. Now get outta here," the General said gruffly, taking the drink in his telekinetic grasp. Fluttershy bowed her head and exited the room, glad to avoid taking any more abuse.

~~~

Applejack and Rarity had departed Bottom Line's office and were now walking back to the dish room where Sudsy, Pinkie, Spike, and a host of dirty dishes no doubt awaited them. As they walked Rarity bit her lip and looked off to the side. Applejack noticed but let Rarity speak first.

"Applejack..." Rarity trailed off. The cowpony raised an eyebrow and looked towards her.

"Yeh?" she replied.

"I must... apologize for my behavior earlier. I didn't get a chance to before. I'm terribly sorry to have rubbed all that dish soap in your mane," Rarity said, her head drooping. In response Applejack chuckled to herself, earning a hopeful glance from the unicorn.

"Think nuthin' of it, Rare. I know you git all crazy whenever you can't keep yer hooves clean," Applejack said, tipping her hat.

The two ponies smiled at each other, the tension rapidly clearing between them. They entered the dish room where Spike and Pinkie were both still hard at work moving the plates through the machine. Sudsy was busy still cleaning up the massive mess from the backed up dishes that had spilled over onto the floor. Most of it was clear, but there was still a great deal of broken plaster littering the floor.

The dish lead looked up from his broom and withheld a sigh as the two mares came trotting up to him.

"I suppose we've got that out of our system now?" Sudsy asked, giving them a hard stare. Rarity smiled sheepishly while Applejack answered.

"T'won't happen again. On mah honor. Where d'ya need us?" Applejack asked.

Sudsy leaned against his broom and absently stroked his chin. Applejack had done fine scrubbing pots and pans but obviously it was not an ideal position for the white unicorn.

"Pinkie!" Sudsy said loudly to be heard over the noise in the room. The pink mare poked her head around the corner of the machine, a stack of plates twenty high balancing on her head. Sudsy slammed a hoof against his forehead.

"Come over here!" he said, wishing away the impending headache.

"What's up, boss?" Pinkie said after she had joined the group. Sudsy opened his eyes and looked over at Pinkie who was still somehow managing to keep the plates perfectly aligned on top of her head. Sudsy nearly had a heart attack, sputtering out gibberish and throwing out his hooves in a desperate attempt to save the dishware.

"Huh? What did you say?" Pinkie said, tilting her head to the side. Immediately the entire stack of plates came toppling over and hurtled towards the floor. Sudsy covered both his eyes as he waited for the inevitable.

However instead of a cacophony of broken dishes, he only heard a quiet tinkling. Opening an eye, he saw the entire stack of plates hovering in the air, surrounded by a light blue aura.

"Really, dear, you must pay more attention," Rarity said, re-aligning the stack and setting them neatly on a clean cart nearby.

Sudsy allowed his breath to leave his lungs, not realizing he had been holding it. That crisis averted, he knew he had had the right idea this time.

"Alright, ladies. Pinkie, please take over the pots and pans with Applejack before I have a stroke. Rarity, if you don't mind, take Pinkie's place at the end of the machine. You'll only deal with nice, clean dishes," Sudsy directed.

Rarity let out a sigh of relief at not having to get her hooves filthy again. Unloading the machine would be a simple test of her telekinetic endurance. It didn't take an overly talented unicorn like Twilight to simply move a few hundred plates around. Pinkie meanwhile looked over at the sinks, one of which had an overabundance of bubbles sitting atop the water. She smiled and skipped over with a simple, "Okie-dokie-lokie!"

Applejack started towards the pots that awaited her but stopped and looked back towards Sudsy.

"Ah'm awfully sorry about all tha commotion earlier," she said, tipping her hat. Sudsy sighed but couldn't find it in himself to hold a grudge. As far as he was concerned, all life's worries were just a few moments of good old elbow grease away from being right again.

"Don't worry about it. You ain't the craziest ponies I've had to manage back here. But you're darn close," Sudsy waved dismissively.

Applejack chuckled and went back to resume her work. A heaping pile of pots and pans that had been left unattended while she'd been gone awaited her. And of course there was also Pinkie, sporting an expertly sculpted mustache made of soap bubbles and giggling.

~~~

"Oh my! And then what happened?"

Twilight's eyes barely stopped themselves from rolling out of her head, but she continued at Perfect Appetite's behest.

"Well, it turned out that the whole reason my future self had visited my past self was to tell my past self not to worry about what my future self looked like at the time, which I have to admit was pretty ridiculous. But then of course my past self kept interrupting my future self so my future self caused all the worrying that my past self had to go through that whole week. The loop is probably still repeating itself. Oh...Sorry did that make any sense?" Twilight said, noticing that she might have lost him in the explanation.

"Of course I follow, my dear. What a marvelous adventure!" Appetite said, although his eyes which had just snapped to attention after glazing over during the story told differently. Twilight did her best to keep a neutral air of professionalism on her face, remembering that she was supposed to be serving.

"Have you decided what you'd like to have from the kitchen?" she asked politely. She had asked that of course when she had first come back to check on Perfect Appetite, but the food critic derailed the simple question and began grilling Twilight on her studies, her adventures...Not to mention how his eyes seemed to follow the shape of her legs every now and then. Talking to him made her uncomfortable, to put it lightly.

"Oh my yes, I suppose I should do my job, as you have been so expertly doing yours. I suppose being the Princess' student and dining in the castle rubbed off on you. Tell me, did you ever get to meet any interesting dignitaries from the other nations?" Appetite asked, oblivious to the menu in front of him.

Twilight bit her tongue to avoid letting out a sigh of exasperation. She had been here for ten minutes just making small talk already. She was nearing the end of her patience relating her life story. But she made a promise to Bottom Line. She had to keep Appetite satisfied.

"Well, when I was younger, Princess Celestia invited me to a banquet with the ambassador from the land of the Griffins," Twilight started, trying to keep her voice from showing her growing disdain.

"This is going to be a long night..." she thought.

"Mr. Appetite? Compliments of the house."

Twilight broke off her impending story, looking over at Grease who had just shown up at the table carrying a tray of assorted appetizers. He set it gingerly down on the table and then bowed.

"Ah, it looks delicious, thank you my boy. Tell you what, Miss Sparkle, I should give this my full attention. Please return in ten minutes and we can continue with our chat," Appetite said winking at her. Twilight suppressed a shiver.

"Of course, sir," Twilight said, beginning to back away.

"Oh please, call me Perfect, darling."

"Right... Perfect. I'll return soon."

Both Twilight and Grease turned and walked away from the table back towards the kitchen. Twilight noticed that Grease had abandoned his stained kitchen apron for a well-fitting server's jacket, and had slicked his mane back, albeit a little sloppily. As soon as they got into the back, Twilight dropped her polite facade, slumping onto her hindquarters and throwing back her head in a dramatic sigh that would have made Rarity proud.

Grease smirked as she regained her composure. The lavender unicorn looked towards Grease gratefully.

"Thank you so much for getting me out of there. He is so creepy!" Twilight said, taking a small rag out of a pocket in her jacket and wiping her brow with it.

"No problem. Bottom Line and I have been keeping an eye on you to make sure everything goes well. I thought you could use a breather after being out there so long," Grease said. "Do you know what he wants for the main course?"

"No idea, every time I ask he just turns it around and asks me about some adventure or experience I've had," Twilight said with annoyance. Grease frowned, as Bottom Line walked towards them from the direction of his office. He eyed Grease's serving jacket, raising an eyebrow.

"What are you doing, Ellbogen?" he questioned. Grease's ears flattened against his head as he shifted his hooves nervously.

Twilight took no notice, smiling happily and explaining. "Oh, he just saved me from having to tell Appetite about my whole life story, that's all."

"Is that so," Bottom Line said dryly. Grease looked down and away from his harsh gaze. Twilight's smile faded as she finally picked up on the manager's demeanor. "Is something wrong?" She asked.

"Ellbogen. What do you think you're doing? I pulled you back into the kitchen for a reason. You aren't ready to deal with serving yet, much less the most influential guest we have!" Bottom Line started. Grease looked back up towards him, anger in his eyes.

"I am ready. You know I am! The only reason you pulled me back here is because you don't want to ruin your precious reputation with the General!" Grease retorted, his voice rising. Bottom Line glared but his voice remained even and calm.

"Harold Stormfront and I have a history. You know that. I allow him special privilege as a courtesy to that history. I am aware that he is not the easiest pony to deal with, but your previous incident with him, as well as your attitude now, show me that you still need to do a little more maturing before you're ready to be out on the floor," the elder stallion replied.

Grease, unable to take anymore criticism ripped off his serving jacket and threw it on the floor. Twilight gasped, bringing a hoof up to her mouth and backing away slightly. She felt very out of place, observing the fight. Grease turned around and stormed off, his hooves clopping loudly on the floor.

"Ellbogen! Don't you walk away from me, boy!" Bottom Line said, taking a few steps after him. Grease of course ignored the order, tossing an impassioned, "Buck you, dad." behind his back.

"Dad?" Twilight said softly, tilting her head. The harsh curse hit Bottom Line like a blow as he took a few steps back. Instead of chasing after him though he hung his head and sighed. The night's pressures were evident on his creased face. Twilight suddenly became very interested in dragging her hoof across the floor, wondering if she should back out of the situation or try to help. She took a moment to allow the beleaguered stallion to regain his composure.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that, Miss Sparkle. My son can be quite passionate at times," Bottom Line said, standing tall again and straightening his jacket.

"It's okay," Twilight said, stepping forward, "I didn't know you two were father and son."

"Yes. Well, he's been in and out around here since he was a boy, learning the business. It's my hope that he'll take over running Culina after I retire. He started out in the dish room and moved around, learning every aspect of the business. About a year ago I allowed him to start serving out on the floor. He was doing well, until I let him wait on one of my closest friends, a General in the Equestrian Military. He is admittedly a very hard stallion to please. Normally I wouldn't tolerate a guest treating my staff in such a way...But as I said, we have a history. Ellbogen lost his temper, and I had to pull him off the floor until he could develop a little more," Bottom Line explained. Twilight nodded sympathetically.

"Maybe you're being a little too hard on him?" she suggested. Bottom Line raised his eyebrow.

"This is an unforgiving business. I won't coddle him," he replied.

"I understand that, but he needs at least some positive encouragement...Or else he'll just think he can never be good enough for you. Then he'll just stop caring, and you'll lose him."

Bottom Line stroked his chin at the surprisingly good advice from the unicorn. She appeared young, about the same age as Grease himself, but she was evidently wise beyond her years. He supposed that came from being the Princess' personal student. She had given him something to think about.

"Oh...Looks like Perfect is done with his appetizer," Twilight said, her shoulders sagging. Bottom Line looked out the window from the door to the kitchen and saw the food critic taking a sip of his drink and sitting back, awaiting Twilight's return.

"I appreciate your service, Miss Sparkle. I will try to remain at hand to be sure he doesn't keep you too long. If you must make an excuse to leave, do so," Bottom Line said. Twilight nodded appreciatively, took a deep breath, and then walked back through the door onto the floor

~~~

Rainbow Dash approached the Wonderbolt's table cautiously. Spitfire looked annoyed, and Soarin looked bored. The pegasus stopped next to their table and faced them. It would have been less awkward if she had also introduced herself, or found any words to say at all, for that matter.

Spitfire raised an eyebrow as the silence wore on, but then took note of the distinctive rainbow mane and tail. A glimmer of recognition lit her eyes and her annoyance broke into an easy grin.

"Well look who we have here, Soarin. Rainbow Dash, long time no see. How's the Ponyville Weather Team treating you?" Spitfire said, glad to at least be able make conversation to pass the time. When Soarin was hungry, he wasn't much of a talker. Unless the subject concerned apple pie, hay fries, pizza, or really anything else remotely edible. Spitfire idly wondered how on earth he could eat such junk and remain the elite flier he was.

Rainbow Dash grinned nervously but finally spoke, attempting a facade of confidence.

"Hey guys! Fancy seeing you here. The weather team is great! No problems there, heh heh. What brings you in?"

"A night of culture and sophistication...Or so I thought. How long did it take you to be served?" Spitfire wondered, trying to look around her for a waiter.

"Oh, heh, um...Not that long...heh," Rainbow said, trying to grin, but ending up with more of a grimace. Soarin eyed her strangely and then noticed her server's jacket.

"What's with the getup? You on a date or something? I wouldn't be able to stand having my wings pinned under a jacket," Soarin said chuckling.

"Good one, heh. I-I'm not on a date. Just-" Rainbow said trying to quickly come up with a reason for being here.

"Wait a minute, that's the same jacket as the other staff here...Are you supposed to be our server?" Spitfire realized, pointing.

Rainbow Dash smiled weakly and then hung her head slightly.

"Uh..Yea. sorry it took so long to get to you guys..." Rainbow said sullenly.

Spitfire and Soarin looked at each other and the annoyance in the former's demeanor slowly melted away, replaced by a smug grin.

"I thought you were the fastest flier in Equestria, Dash. I guess I can understand not being able to use your wings and all, but you know, a Wonderbolt should be in peak physical fitness all around, not just with their wings," Spitfire winked. Rainbow perked her head up, and then let bravado take over.

"Well now that I'm here, you'll get the fastest service in Equestria! What do you need? You name it and it'll be here in ten seco-" Rainbow said, preparing her notepad. Spitfire cut off her boasting with a hoof and a small grin.

"Get us a bottle of Chardonneigh," Spitfire said. Suddenly a low rumble could be heard from Soarin's side of the table. The afflicted stallion put his head on the table, holding his stomach.

"And some bread for Soarin," Spitfire finished. Rainbow Dash wrote it down even though it was a simple order, saluted, and then took off for the kitchen.

"Do you think she really works here?" Soarin asked after she had left.

"Eh. Fans have done crazier things to see us," Spitfire replied, shrugging.

~~~

Grease stood next to the door leading to the General's private table. He glared out the window, watching the aged stallion finish his glass of liquor and begin to pour another. Inside his head, he replayed his last conversation with his father. Perhaps the curse had been unnecessary, and he would certainly pay for it later, but he was so tired of being stuck back behind these doors because of this arrogant foal sitting at the table.

"Um...Excuse me. Grease? Are you okay?"

The soft, gentle voice broke him out of his brooding thoughts but the dark cloud remained hanging over his head. He turned around towards the yellow pegasus that had spoken to him. A heavy scowl still on his face, he moved away from the door, back down the hall.

"Sure." He answered unconvincingly as he walked away.

Fluttershy tilted her head as he walked past and down the hall. She looked out the window towards the General and decided that she wasn't quite ready to go out and face him again just yet anyway. Following Grease down the hall, she found him in the prep room - really more of an enlarged end to the hall - where stainless steel counters and several sinks lined the walls as well as two steel tables in the center. All the surface area was solely to cut, dice, and otherwise prepare all the different vegetables for use in complementing the meals Culina served.

As she caught up to him, she saw him standing at one of the tables in front of a cutting board and using a large knife to cut a pile of cucumbers into slices. He seemed to be using much more force than was necessary.

"You don't seem like you're okay to me," Fluttershy said quietly, trying not to disturb him. Grease stopped chopping and turned around, his eyes full of anger.

"I'm fine!" he nearly yelled. Fluttershy took a step back at his harshness, hiding her face behind her mane.

"Oh...I'm sorry to disturb you then. Nevermind," she said turning away. Grease set down the knife, feeling bad for snapping at the gentle pegasus.

"No, wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you," Grease said apologetically. Fluttershy stopped and took a few steps back towards him, a small smile on her face.

"Oh, it's okay. I don't mind. Um. I don't mean to pry, but what's wrong? Unless you don't want to talk about it. That's okay too," she asked gently. She approached the table Grease was using and picked up another knife, as well as a cucumber, and began to help slice them. Grease watched as she did so and then looked back down at his vegetable and resumed cutting.

"It's nothing. Just my dad. Er, I mean, Bottom Line," Grease corrected himself.

"Oh. I didn't know he was your father," Fluttershy inquired.

"Yeah. He's had me in this place since I was a little colt. We practically live here," Grease said, finishing a cucumber and grabbing another.

"That must be an interesting life. What about your mother?"

"She...Passed away when I was young. I was pretty much raised by my dad," Grease replied flatly.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry," Fluttershy offered, regretting having asked. Grease shrugged.

"It's alright. We've both done our grieving. I'm over it."

"What happened just now with your father?" Fluttershy inquired, still determined to get to the bottom of his sour mood. Grease's scowl returned as he thought over their exchange again.

"He doesn't think I'm ready to be a server yet. That I'm too immature to handle it. I've been working in this place practically all my life! Of course I'm ready. I know everything about this place like the back of my hoof," Grease said, letting his voice rise slightly.

"I'm sure you do. Maybe he just wants to be extra sure you're ready," the pegasus said, although she knew it a weak argument.

"When I was out there I did my job. Not one complaint, and I pulled in more bits in tips than anyone. It's just because of that stupid General. I lose my cool one time..." Grease said, trailing off in memory.

"Is that really the only reason Mr. Line doesn't think you're ready to be a server? That doesn't seem fair," Fluttershy asked, grabbing another cucumber to cut. It seemed a silly question to Grease, but when he thought about the instinctive answer - to defend himself and say that of course it was just an isolated incident - it seemed just as silly.

Fluttershy smiled softly as her question got Grease to think more deeply. He settled into a deep scowl and responded.

"I can't help it if some ponies don't know how to treat one another with at least some respect," he said acidly. Fluttershy looked towards him while she replied.

"That's true. Someponies aren't very nice to each other. I just think that some of them had a bad day, or maybe something is wrong and they don't know how to express themselves. That's how the animals I take care of act."

Grease smirked at the analogy. "Yea? What kind of beast would the General be?"

Fluttershy stopped cutting to put a hoof to her chin and think. "I think he would be just like the manticore that attacked my friends and me one time."

Grease stopped cutting at this and stared at Fluttershy in astonishment. Such beasts were barely more than a fairy tale to him, having never left Canterlot. "Wait, you faced down a manticore?" he asked in disbelief. Fluttershy nodded.

"Oh yes. The poor dear. He wasn't a beast. He just had a nasty thorn in his paw that was bothering him," Fluttershy said nonchalantly. Grease still couldn't imagine this awkward, shy pegasus facing off against a mouse, much less a manticore. He resumed cutting, shaking his head.

"So you think the General just has a stick up his plot?" he grinned. Fluttershy stared back at him disapprovingly. Grease quickly felt admonished and looked down, mumbling a quick, "Sorry." Fluttershy nodded and finished a cucumber, reaching for another.

"So what are you going to do about him then? Doesn't seem like he'd up and confess any deep scars that make him who he is," Grease pursued.

"That's okay. He doesn't have to confide in me if he doesn't want to. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve as much kindness as the next pony. Maybe he needs even more," Fluttershy responded.

Grease and Fluttershy had finished the pile of cucumbers by now, and Grease scooped them all into pans to be covered in wrap and put in the freezer for when they were needed. He remained quiet while he did this, the talk with Fluttershy having calmed him into a clearer state of thinking. His mind went back to the exchange with his father, which now devoid of the heat of the moment, revealed him to be quite a bit more immature than he would have liked.

"I guess you're right. I wasn't exactly showing the poise of a great waiter when I walked away from dad," he admitted. Fluttershy smiled. She was glad that even though they hadn't been directly talking about his issues, he was able to see her situation and apply it to his own.

"Shouldn't you be checking in on His Highness? You've been back here for a while," Grease mentioned.

"Oh yes...I suppose I should. Oh, I hope he isn't too upset," Fluttershy said, trotting down the hallway. Grease followed. Together they looked out the window towards him. It looked like he had finished his meal and was now swirling his glass, staring off into the distance.

"Looks like he's been hitting that bottle pretty hard. You know, he's actually a little more tolerable when he's drunk," Grease said.

"I'm going to check on him," Fluttershy said, "in the meantime, maybe you should go and find your dad."

Grease bit his bottom lip. He didn't think he was quite up to that talk just yet. All he would be doing would be proving his dad right, crawling back seeking forgiveness. Bottom Line would just see that he needed yet another month back in the kitchen to 'develop character'. An idea struck then. He frowned, knowing it wasn't going to be easy, but it was the only way he knew of to prove to his dad that he could live up to his expectations.

"I'm going in with you," Grease said, "maybe I can help you show him a little kindness."

"Does it involve giving him a cute, fluffy bunny? I think that would be wonderful. I know it would make me happy."

"Uh...No."

Author's Note

Sorry. I know it's late. However this chapter had a bit of an extensive editing process to resolve some storyline issues. Much thanks to Mr. Hyde for pre-reading during his busy week!

Check, Please

~A Few Bits Short~

Chapter Six: Check, Please

Silver Spatula trotted down a hallway back in the maze of kitchens, preparation rooms, and various storage compartments that hid behind the svelte doors of Culina's dining room. He was one of the senior chefs slaving away before the myriad stoves and ovens to create the cuisine that gave the restaurant its reputation. However at this moment, he was in need of his namesake. It always amazed him that despite having nearly a dozen such spatulas and other suitable instruments in their drawers they always managed to all become used and dirty when they were needed most. Normally Grease, who was certainly one of his favored kitchen aides for reasons other than being the owner's son, stayed on top of ensuring the cooks had all the tools they needed for their craft. Tonight though, he had been noticeably absent.

Silver's mind raced with his current duties: the souffle that would need to come out of the oven in precisely fourteen minutes, the soup that needed just a dash of spices to bring it to the desired taste, and of course, the delicate pastries that were cooling for which he needed said spatula to transfer safely. He quickly walked into the dish room, subconsciously folding his ears against his head against the noise of the machine. He made his way to a storage cabinet meant for keeping excess dishware and opened a nearby drawer where clean spatulas awaiting delivery to the kitchens were kept. He blindly reached his hoof inside, already turning around to begin his journey back when his appendage slipped against a sharp edge and cut a thin lesion across his skin.

"Yaaaargh!" the chef pony reared back, whipping back his hoof as if it had been bitten by a snake and carefully looking down at the damage done. A thin trail of blood started to leak down over his hoof.

"Oh, do be careful, darling. You should look before just reaching in and poking about you know," Rarity said, entering the area with a great many stacks of dishes within her telekinetic grip. She opened a door to one of the cabinets and deposited the stacks delicately inside. Then looking down at the chef's bloodied limb she tutted and lead him towards a sink so he could wash.

"I do hope none of that got onto the knives." the white unicorn said, looking back towards the drawer.

Silver, still biting his lip at the surprise of the sudden cut whipped his head towards Rarity's somewhat callous remark. "What on earth are knives doing in there? That is and always has been the area for the spatulas!" The chef said as he resentfully cleaned out the cut under the faucet.

Rarity looked back towards the chef in innocent surprise. "Oh, really? Well I'm terribly sorry I didn't have the chance to inform you. That old method of storage was so...inefficient. I think you'll find this makes the best use of the space," she said matter-of-factly.

Silver Spatula grumbled and finished cleaning out his cut, finding a sanitary hoof cover and placing it on the afflicted hoof so as not to spoil the food he still needed to attend to. Stepping back towards the cabinets and storage drawers he looked around.

"And where would the most efficient place be for the spatulas, dare I ask?" he said, his voice dripping with cynicism. Rarity either didn't notice or let it slide, using her magic to open the drawer next to where he had 'found' the knives and withdrawing the requested instrument. Silver Spatula took it, mumbling an unconvincing, "Thanks," and walking back down the hallway towards the kitchens once more.

Rarity returned to the dish machine, where her brief distraction had forced the machine to stop while it waited for the end to be unloaded. What she saw however made her tilt her head to the side, trying to make sense of the odd positioning of the cups sitting on the tines of the conveyor belt. It seemed as if they were forming something. A shape that had two points on top, then curving out and around to meet again in the middle a few rows below.

Rarity frowned as she tried to understand the meaning of it, then merely shrugged and grabbed hold of all the cups in her magical grip, stacking them neatly into each other.

"Oh Spike, dear!" She called towards the loading end of the machine. Spike immediately appeared at her side, looking eagerly up at her and holding his claws behind his back.

"Yeeees?"

"Be a dear and try to condense the space you use for the dishes. The more you can cluster together, the faster we'll get the job done," she said, turning away to go place the cups into storage. The young dragon reached up a claw, about to speak but then gave up as she walked away and settled into a disappointed scowl, kicking at the floor and plodding back to the front of the machine.

Sudsy, who had seen what he thought was an obvious attempt at a romantic gesture chuckled as the poor dragon hopped back up on his stool and continued loading the machine, making the best use of the space available. Putting his broom against the wall, he walked up to the other side of the loading end and grabbed the hose so that he could rinse off the incoming plates, leaving Spike free to load them in the machine. The pouting dragon gave up the hose freely.

"So you got a thing for the lady unicorn, eh kid?" he said smirking.

"SHHH! IT'S A SECRET!" Pinkie Pie yelled from over where she and Applejack were scrubbing pots and pans. Applejack flinched and dropped the pan she was scrubbing out of surprise at the sudden outburst next to her, and Pinkie giggled.

"Ah swear I'm gonna go deaf by tha end'a tha night..." the cowpony said, trying in vain to massage the ringing out of her ears.

Sudsy recovered from the sudden shouting quickly, rolling his eyes at the pink mare's antics and looking back towards Spike. The dragon was trying to hide blushing cheeks, concentrating and moving a set of plates onto the conveyor. Finally he sighed.

"Maybe a little," he admitted. Sudsy smiled, fondly remembering his own days as a youth, chasing after various mares. The heartbreak was never his favorite part, of course. But now being able to look back on it with the added wisdom of the years that had passed, he saw it as a valuable time of growth.

"Listen, kid, I don't know much about dragons, but seems to me like you got a nice long life ahead of ya. Someday you'll find yourself a nice female dragon, I'm sure. No need to spend your emotions on mares," Sudsy said while rinsing off a few more dishes.

Spike's scowl persisted and he didn't reply immediately. Sudsy resisted a chuckle. Of course he knew that his advice would be met with a fair amount of disdain. In his time, he would have sneered at the same words. Well, as they applied to mares anyway. He had no intention of courting a dragoness. He grimaced at the thought of the sharp scales, spikes, teeth, and other nasty bits. In any case, in his opinion, advice relating to romantic relationship always sounded trite no matter how sincere your intentions. Nopony ever liked hearing the words, yet it didn't make them any less true.

"You know, now that I think of it, I don't remember seeing any girl dragons during the Great Dragon Migration. But...If there are no girl dragons, then..." Spike fell into a contemplative silence. Sudsy shuffled uncomfortably, guessing the direction of his train of thought.

"Hey, where do eggs come from?" Spike asked innocently. Sudsy suddenly developed a rather serious sounding coughing fit while Spike looked confused, "You ok?"

Sudsy pounded his chest a couple times and nodded, hoping it would be enough to make the young dragon forget his question. Unfortunately, he still looked at the stallion expectantly. Sudsy squirmed, scratching the back of his head.

"Er...Why don't you ask Miss Sparkle about that one, I'm sure she knows more than I do on the subject," Sudsy said awkwardly. Spike sighed and went back to loading dishes.

"I tried a couple times but then it always turns out it's time for me to do the dishes, or sweep the floors, or some other chore I've forgotten about. Hey, maybe I should ask her after we all get out of here so we're not distracted by anything!" Spike said, snapping his claws as he came up with the solution. Sudsy laughed nervously.

"Yeah, uh...You do that," he thought, making a mental note to warn Twilight of the impending 'talk' she'd have to eventually have with Spike.

~~~

She speeds around the soup...Dodges the dessert tray...Drops off the check! This mare's on fire! No other pony could hope to match her speed or serving prowess. Why, if there were a Wonderbolt equivalent for serving-ponies, she'd be the captain!

Suddenly, the flank of a lavender unicorn disagreed with Rainbow Dash as she crashed into it.

"Gyah!" Twilight yelped in surprised, getting shoved into Perfect Appetite, who caught her and held her for a brief, extremely awkward, moment before helping her restore her balance.

Rainbow Dash shook the dizziness from her head as she reasserted her bearings and grinned sheepishly.

"Oops...Sorry, Twilight, gotta run!" Rainbow said as she backed away and resumed her course, practically galloping back into the kitchen to fulfill another order. The pegasus was now on her way to fulfill Spitfire and Soarin's request, having had to take care of a few of her other tables first.

Twilight narrowed her eyes at Rainbow, still fighting off a shiver of revulsion running down her spine from Appetite's touch. She briefly entertained the ways she could get back at Rainbow, but for now she still had work to do. She restored the calm and collected look on her face, turning back towards Perfect Appetite, who was straightening his tie.

"I'm so sorry about that, Mr. Appetite," Twilight said, taking hold of her notepad again.

"I'm not, my dear," Perfect said with a grin that renewed the ice that ran through Twilight's veins. She put enormous effort into keeping a face of serene calm in place. How on earth did Princess Celestia do it all the time?

"What did you say you would like to have from the kitchen again?" Twilight said through clenched teeth.

Appetite collected himself and peeked down at the menu, finally deciding on a not-particularly complicated dish of mixed greens stir-fried with various vegetables and rice.

"I'll get that for you right away," Twilight said, writing down the order and trying not to gallop away from the table.

"Hurry back!" he called, nearly breaking Twilight's last bit of restraint.

She made it to the kitchen without incident, her countenance dropping as soon as she was out of sight. Bottom Line awaited her, having been watching through the window.

"Rather friendly, isn't he?" he quipped dryly. Twilight looked at him with a deadpan glare, but the manager replied with a sympathetic smile.

"He's quite possibly the slimiest stallion I've ever met," Twilight said, "And I know Prince Blueblood."

"Try serving him," Bottom Line replied quickly, heading towards the kitchen and beckoning Twilight to follow.

"Let me see his order," Bottom Line said. Twilight gladly levitated it into his possession. The manager raised an eyebrow.

"Seems almost too simple. I suppose we'll just have to knock it out of the park for him. Silver!" Bottom Line called to a chef in the kitchen. Silver Spatula trotted away from an oven where he was putting the final touches on a pot of sauce. Bottom Line passed the order off to him and Silver looked at it suspiciously as well.

"Got it handled, boss," the chef replied confidently. Before he could get back to his cooking area, Bottom Line held out a hoof towards his shoulder, stopping him. Then he pointed down at Silver's covered hoof, his eyes asking the question. Silver frowned, rolling his eyes.

"Little mix up with the 'new storage system' in the dish room," Silver replied cynically. Bottom Line cocked his head to the side. He didn't recall having the dish room reorganized.

"One of those mares back in the dish room. Insisted on a more 'efficient' way to store all the dishware and utensils. Guess what went in the old spatula drawer," Silver said, before turning away and going to prepare Perfect's meal.

Bottom Line looked towards Twilight, who giggled, glad for the small bit of levity it brought to her mood.

"That's Rarity for you," she said, smiling. Bottom Line merely smirked, supposing that he should go and inspect this new storage system later to see if it really was any better. If it did turn out to work better, a thought occurred to him. It was rather ironic, but it almost felt as if he would be the one indebted to these mares after the night was over.

"Look out, comin' through!"

Rainbow Dash turned a corner suddenly, carrying a tray with a basket of bread, a bottle of wine and two glasses. Twilight gasped and only a very reflexive teleportation of herself and Bottom Line to the other side of the rushing pegasus saved them from another collision. Rainbow threw back a hurried, "Sorry!" over her shoulder and rushed out the door.

Bottom Line shook the sudden disorientation while Twilight briefly considered teleporting Rainbow to join the other stallions she had sent to the top of the mountain.

Rainbow Dash was already out the door and in the dining room however. Spitfire and Soarin's table was just ahead. Just a few more strides and-

A diner sitting at a table just to her left suddenly scooted back, preparing to stand. This pushed the seat directly into Rainbow's path, but she quickly reacted, dodging to the side. However this set her off balance and she had trouble correcting the sudden shift in weight, especially when the wine bottle slid across the tray, altering the balance. Rainbow reflexively tried to flare her wings out to steady herself, but they strained helplessly against the server's jacket she wore. Blood drained from her face as she mentally calculated just how and where she was about to fall flat on her face.

Spitfire noticed as well, her eyes widening and body stiffening in her seat. A few more strides saw Rainbow finally lose her balance and trip. She face-planted into the ground, sending the tray she was carrying as well as its contents flipping through the air.

"My food!" Soarin cried, tracking the dinner rolls as they flied through the air. Spitfire closed her eyes and shrunk back in her seat.

The breadbasket flipped one last time before landing directly in the center of the table, with each roll landing neatly into its folds, only a few crumbs out of place. The two wine glasses both landed on their bases, wobbling a few times before settling down. Finally, the wine bottle landed neatly in between the glasses.

Soarin and Rainbow's jaws dropped as they stared at the scene in disbelief. Spitfire, as well as several other patrons who had witnessed the incident looked on quizzically. One clapped awkwardly, assuming it was some sort of act.

"I thought that sort of thing only happened in cartoons," Spitfire said, finally finding her voice.

Soarin smirked, "If it were a cartoon, the cork wou-"

Suddenly the wine bottle burst open, shooting the cork straight up followed by a small geyser of foam. The cork hit the chandelier overhead and ricocheted off, hitting Soarin squarely between the eyes before landing harmlessly on the table. Soarin flinched and brought a hoof up to his snout, massaging it tenderly and cursing.

"Son of a diamond dog..."

Spitfire snorted and burst out into uproarious laughter. Rainbow, who had been biting her tongue, followed Spitfire's lead now that she saw it was okay to laugh. Spitfire brushed a tear away from her eye as she calmed down.

"I gotta hand it to you, Dash. Even when you mess up, you do it with style. I wish I had such grace when I screwed up a routine," she said, chuckling.

Rainbow positively beamed, even taking the bold step of patting Soarin on the shoulder sympathetically. The afflicted stallion gave Spitfire a short glare for laughing at his expense but otherwise took his hoof off his snout and claimed a roll.

"Can we just order already?" he said begrudgingly. Rainbow bit back a giggle, preparing her notepad.

"Sure, what can I get you?" Rainbow said.

~~~

Dark liquid sloshed around the glass, creating a small vortex as Harold Stormfront idly stared off into the distance. The General's thoughts wandered far and wide beyond the room he presently occupied. The sounds of fierce battle rang through his head, dulled somewhat by the buzz of the alcohol.

It wasn't the trauma of past conflicts that had him deep in his own thoughts however. He had more or less become accustomed to those memories and accepted them. The General wasn't one to be put out of commission easily, whether physically or mentally. Tonight it was something else occupying his thoughts. His mind wandered back to his place of rest, his home, and the mare that was always patiently awaiting him.

As the mare faded from the setting in his mind, he was abruptly brought back to his senses by a pale yellow pegasus standing before him. He scowled.

"I need nothing from you right now, girl. Leave me be," he said gruffly, staring down at his glass. Fluttershy frowned, but didn't retreat. The General looked up from his glass and sighed.

"What are you looking for, an apology? Do you feel that I've been overly cruel? Have I offended your fragile sensibilities?" he said, mockingly. He took a long sip, finishing the glass.

"Not at all, Mr. General Sir. I just wanted to be sure you had everything you needed," Fluttershy said. Stormfront raised an eyebrow lazily and reached for the bottle to refresh his drink.

"Should I call a cab for you?"

The General looked up from the bottle, looking for the source of the obstinate remark. It hadn't come from the timid mare before him. That's when he noticed a young stallion walking out from behind Fluttershy to stand before his table. He recognized him immediately, the son of Bottom Line.

"Bottom let you out of the kitchens again eh, whelp?" he said, without regard for the rudeness of the statement.

Grease, for his part, took it gracefully. He shook his head and spoke calmly.

"No, actually. I'm still learning in the back," Grease said. The General laughed gruffly as he dumped a few ice cubes into his glass and poured the liquor into it.

"I suppose you want to thank me for that, right boy?" the elder stallion replied, taking a sip. Grease bit his lip, attempting to control his temper. A soft, reassuring touch from Fluttershy helped him to contain himself. When next he spoke, it was with utmost humility.

"No. I came to see you to...To apologize," he finished, trying not to let the words leave a bad taste in his mouth and at the same time trying to be sincere. The General set down his glass, now giving Grease his full attention with a serious look in his eye.

"Is that so? What do you have to apologize for?" he said curiously.

"The way I acted when I was serving you was unacceptable. I apologize for losing my temper with you," Grease said finally. The effort of swallowing his pride made him want to take a few deep breaths as if he had just run a few laps around the restaurant.

The General barked out a rough but short laugh in response. Grease waited patiently, not letting the somewhat mocking reply goad him.

"Never say sorry, kid. It's a sign of weakness," he said finally, "one of my unwritten rules."

"That explains a lot," Grease couldn't help but murmur. Stormfront picked up on it, frowning. It seemed, despite Grease's good intentions, the conversation was about to take a turn for the worse.

"Ah, there he is. The insolent whelp shows himself. Why don't you scurry back into the kitchens before I have to send for your poppa. Again." The General's words hit Grease like a slap in the face. He could feel his blood become heated as he struggled to control himself. What was with this stuck up, old, washed out stallion? He couldn't even accept an apology without responding with unbearable cruelty.

"Excuse me?"

The heat of the situation stalled as Fluttershy inserted herself into the conversation before Grease could lose his cool.

"I don't think that's very fair to Grease you know," she said, looking at the General. He laughed again, although it could have been a monosyllabic grunt almost.

"Too bad. Life ain't fair, kid. Pay your respects, put in your dues to us who gave you this world, and then come and talk to me. Your pop knows that. He's a good stallion."

"Excuse me."

The General turned back to the yellow mare, whose tone of voice held much more of an edge to it now. He found it quite surprising that this young pegasus would suddenly find some fight in her when he'd seen nothing but a doormat before. Where did that come from?

"It seems to me that all Grease is trying to do is give you the respect you say you want," Fluttershy said. The General smirked, taking a sip from his glass and setting it back down again.

"Funny way of showin' it, coming in here and mumbling under his breath," he said to her. Grease scowled, and broke back in, determined not to let Fluttershy fight his battle.

"Believe it or not, you aren't the easiest pony to please. I came to you with the sincere intention of trying to correct my mistakes. Yet all you can do is sit there and pick at every little thing you see that breaks your 'unwritten rules'. You're the eldest pony here, I shouldn't be the one telling you to grow up!" Grease retorted heatedly. The General adopted a dangerous look in his eye as the room grew silent after Grease's words. It was hard to tell what the old stallion was thinking. Grease half-expected to be strangled in a telekinetic grip- yet he stood showing no hint of fear.

A light brown aura of magic enveloped the General's horn, but it did no more than lift up his glass once more. Fluttershy bit her lip, wondering if she had let Grease go too far. After taking a long drink from the glass, the General set it down and sighed. He suddenly looked very tired and considerably more aged. Perhaps it was the softening of his eyes, which started to lose their fierce intensity.

"I've paid my dues. I owe nothing to anypony," he said. It was less a rebuttal than it sounded as if he were trying to reassure himself. Grease and Fluttershy shared a look, wondering if they had finally made some progress. Fluttershy took a step nearer to him.

"I'm sure there are a lot of ponies that have you to thank for some reason or another," Fluttershy said. The General sneered in response, and a thought occurred to her then. It was a wild leap of intuition, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Sometime in his life, the General had become convinced that nopony would ever stop owing him for the things he had done for them. The service he had given Equestria. The more ponies tried, the more he began to see it as shallow efforts to 'call it even'. His thoughts had become twisted in this way, and so he thought the universe now owed him a debt that couldn't be satisfied. Fluttershy's heart leapt to her throat, imagining the bitterness that must have grown and festered inside the poor stallion.

"I think I understand," Fluttershy said. Both Stormfront and Grease looked at her expectantly. She blushed slightly at the attention, but continued. "It must be difficult to bear the weight of everypony's debt. So heavy that you started resenting other ponies for it. And so you're never satisfied, and it drives everyone away. It must be awfully lonely..."

The General wanted to laugh and sneer at this as well. What use did he have for others that only disappointed him? But he found that any arrogant retort he could think of got caught in his throat, unable to voice itself. As the words sank in, it felt as if a light had shone on a dark mass of bitterness and contempt that had been there for years. Growing and strengthening without his knowledge of its existence, it was poisoning him.

"Wouldn't it be better," Fluttershy continued, gently, "to allow yourself to let go of all that? Not all ponies can live up to our expectations of them. But maybe that just means that our expectations are unrealistic. Nopony is perfect, after all."

Stormfront held his glass in a tight grip, though it wasn't noticeable to the others. He could feel the truth of her words cutting as if they were a surgical instrument. They held the power to excise the dark tumor within, if he let them. But that would take more soul-searching than one conversation, even if it was with an Element of Harmony. Deep pain and personal change didn't come overnight. Still, he could feel the peace that would come from being free of it. But before he could think of how to achieve it though, another obstacle kept it just out of reach: pride.

"What are you, a shrink? I don't need you to try to get inside my head," he said bitterly. Fluttershy looked down at the floor, dragging her hoof in a pattern in front of her.

"No," she replied quietly, "I don't think I really know what anypony is thinking. I just know that sometimes you need a friend to help you when you're acting irrationally and you don't even realize it. And needing help occasionally doesn't mean that you're weak. Nopony is an island."

The General considered this. Deep in his innermost thoughts, he desperately wanted to buy into her words. But it would take time to think through them and to figure how they applied to his life now. He had a long night ahead of him, and it wasn't going to start while he stayed with this bottle. Still retaining an air of dignity, he looked up from his glass.

"Bring me my check, if you would. Please."

Fluttershy and Grease smiled and the pegasus daintily bowed her head.

"Of course, sir," she said as they both turned to head back into the kitchen. They both just as quickly stopped, however, coming face to face with Bottom Line. The restaurant manager had a carefully controlled look on his face as he eyed Grease, who wilted under his stare.

"Don't you trouble yourself with it, Harold. It's on the house," Bottom Line said. "I hope my son hasn't been disturbing you."

Harold Stormfront waved a hoof in front of him, dismissing the issue. Bottom Line was surprised at the gesture.

"Not at all, Bottom. In fact he just decided to stop by to apologize for his behavior when last we spoke," the General said. Bottom Line looked towards Grease, almost suspiciously. His son only nodded in confirmation however. The General cleared his throat before continuing, "For which I forgive him. I'm aware I'm not the easiest pony to get along with."

Bottom Line marveled. He had known Stormfront for quite some time- he was a family friend of his own father. He'd never heard him actually accept anyone's apology before. He looked over towards Ellbogen, who smiled weakly back at him. Fluttershy beamed, having seen the situation begin to resolve itself. Bottom Line was about to reply, when Stellar Tray entered the room, a worried look on her face.

"Mr. Line? We have a problem in the main dining room..."

~~~

Twilight should have teleported them farther; Like the Crystal Empire, maybe. In any case, it was evident that the three stallions she had removed from the restaurant earlier that night had not cooled off out in the cold and snow where she had sent them. Twilight spotted them as soon as they came in and strong-armed their way past the maitre d, the unicorn stallion in front looking around for her. The other two looked quite cold, tired, and overall less concerned with exacting revenge.

Twilight had been explaining the magical mechanics behind teleportation as she spotted them.

"Uh...how about a demonstration!" Twilight said suddenly. Perfect Appetite's eyes lit up, suddenly gleeful at the opportunity.

"Oh yes, quite! Where would you take us? I know the most darling little-" he said, practically clopping his hooves together in excitement. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Actually it will just be me. Teleporting much more is, uh...draining," she blatantly lied. Closing her eyes, her horn shone briefly before a sharp pop! signaled her departure.

Perfect Appetite forgot his disappointment at not being included and clapped like a giddy schoolfilly. He had never developed his magical prowess much beyond simple telekinesis.

"Hey! Where did she go?"

Twilight's escape had garnered the attention of Silver Key and his two friends, who accosted Perfect Appetite now. The food critic looked up, puzzled.

"Where did who go what now?" he said. Silver Key growled and slammed a hoof down on his table.

"That purple mare! Where did she go!"

"Excuse me sir, is there a problem here?"

Silver Key looked up from the table and came face to face with a very annoyed looking Bottom Line, with Grease in tow behind him. For a moment the younger stallion faltered, failing to come up with an answer in the face of the authority the manager wielded. Bottom Line was used to dealing with these kinds of entitled foals. Typically, he acquiesced his authority, finding it easier to simply comply with their demands and get them to leave.

In this case, however, many factors pushed Line in the opposite direction. It had been a very, very long night for him. Already it was only a mere half hour before Culina would be closing. He still had a laundry list of tasks to complete before he would be satisfied leaving the restaurant for the night. He might consider just sleeping in his office, as a matter of fact. All these things put a scowl on his face and a 'no nonsense' attitude in his tone. If Silver Key thought he was going to come storming into his restaurant and disrupt his patrons, as well as interrogate the most important guest in the building; well, there was a reason Bottom Line didn't need a security staff.

Silver Key finally found his voice, even regaining some of his bluster.

"Yeah! I'm looking for a unicorn mare you have on staff. She has a star on her plot. I have a complaint to file."

Bottom Line narrowed his eyes at his crude language. By now, other patrons were beginning to take notice of the scene, and Perfect Appetite watched on inquisitively.

"I didn't think that coming in tonight would be dinner and a show," whispered one nameless diner nearby to his date. She elbowed and shushed him, "Quiet, it's getting to the good part!"

Bottom Line was just about to invite Silver Key and his friends into the back office for a private discussion of the matter, in order to get the scene off the dining floor, when Rainbow Dash came trotting through the kitchen door. She immediately spotted Silver Key and scowled heavily. She came to stand next to Bottom Line and Grease, facing off against Key.

"What do you think you're doing showing your ugly mug around here again?" she said heatedly.

"Rainbow, please, let me-" Bottom Line tried to break in, but Silver Key interrupted him.

"Oh do shut up, peasant," the entitled unicorn said.

"What did you call me?!?" Rainbow said, taking a step forward, fire in her eyes. Bottom Line put a hoof to his forehead and sighed.

"Please you two, we can take thi-" he started to say, but at this moment Applejack practically kicked open the door from the kitchen and trotted into the conversation, followed closely by Twilight. When she had teleported earlier, she had sent herself back into the dish room, where Applejack had inquired as to what was going on, and so decided to accompany her.

"You! Do you know who I am? Once I tell my father that you nearly tried to kill us, stranding-" Silver Key started ranting. He and his two friends lined up against Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack and it almost looked as if a brawl was about to break out. However Bottom Line stepped in the middle of them and cleared his throat loudly. He clearly was not in the mood for any more interruptions.

"I know your father, Silver, and believe me, he does not have the clout that you think he does. Now if we can all just take this back to-" Again, the impudent young stallion interrupted Bottom Line, sneering.

"Please! The Keys are Canterlot's premier family, right next to the Bluebloods. Why my father suggested this dive in the first place is beneath me. This place isn't worthy of serving our housecat," he said, turning his nose up.

It was at this point that a silence fell over the room. By now, practically the entire restaurant was watching the scene, and Bottom Line knew it. The weight of the night's stresses all pushed down on him, and it was at this point that his calm, collected demeanor finally broke. Bottom Line cleared his throat, straightened his jacket, and then with a quick motion akin to a snake striking out at its prey, his hoof flew up in the direction of Silver's upturned chin.

It couldn't have connected any more beautifully or caught him any more off-guard. Silver Key went up on his hind legs and then toppled over and fell flat on his back from the force of the blow. Bottom Line stared down at him, taking a step forward and standing over him.

"It's impolite to interrupt your elders. Now then: While Culina has been known for it's five-star service ever since...When, Mr. Appetite?" Bottom Line turned to look at the food critic who responded after blinking a few times.

"Since before I could even write," he said.

"Suffice it to say, for a very long time, this restaurant has given it's patrons a dining experience unmatched anywhere else. While I am happy to hear your complaints about our service, I absolutely will not tolerate obstinate young foals charging into my dining room and harassing my staff and disrupting my guests," the manager said, stepping back so that Silver Key could regain his footing. The young stallion rubbed his jaw, but looked chagrined.

"Now then, I am going to ask you to take your friends here and kindly leave. Is that going to be a problem?"

Silver Key, still massaging his jaw glared back at the manager now.

"You'll be hearing from my father," he said, attempting to sound threatening, but not quite pulling it off.

"I look forward to his visit," Line quickly replied.

The three stallions turned around and slowly walked away towards the front doors. One of Silver Key's friends turned around then and coughed awkwardly. Bottom Line focused on him, his glare his only response.

"Uh...Could I get my wallet back?" he asked sheepishly. Bottom Line raised an eyebrow, but Twilight had already taken it out of her vest, and levitated it over to the owner's possession. He laughed nervously before taking it and leaving with the other two.

The room was silent as the patrons all turned their attention back to Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Grease, and Bottom Line. A patron in the back started clapping but when no one else followed, he stopped and cleared his throat.

"I apologize for the disturbance. You are all valued guests here and are all welcome to voice any concerns you may have regarding the incident you witnessed. If you wait patiently, I'll be providing some of our finest gelato to each of your tables, free of charge," he said, addressing the entire dining room in a clear voice.

"Woo! Ice cream!" the same patron in the back said, putting a hoof in the air. Every one in the room stared at him until he put his hoof back down. "Oh come on..." he said, defeated.

The patrons however now began to lose interest and returned to their meals as Bottom Line, his son, and the three Elements walked back into the kitchen. Rainbow Dash was the first to speak, punching Bottom Line on the shoulder.

"That was some move! So much for all that calm, cool, and collected business. Did you see the look on his face?" Rainbow said, looking at Applejack.

"Why, Ah haven't seen somepony laid out like that since someone tried to swindle Big Mac outta his cider," Applejack said with amusement.

Bottom Line rolled his eyes, not looking particularly proud of what he had done. Grease couldn't have taken the smirk off his face if he tried.Bottom Line caught his look and rolled his eyes, knowing what was about to come.

"So much for staying professional, eh, pops?" he said knowingly. Bottom Line allowed a small smile onto his face.

"Sometimes a little force is necessary, although it is always regrettable," he said. The kitchen doors opened once more, and Perfect Appetite poked his head inside. Bottom Line beckoned to him, allowing him to step inside. The food critic made his way towards the group. Twilight subtly stepped behind Applejack.

"Bottom, I must say that was some show," he said.

"I apologize for the disturbance, Perfect. As you can tell, it's been a rather eventful night for Culina. Is there anything I can get you? I'm sure your meal will be ready soon," the manager said sincerely. Appetite shook his head and held up a hoof.

"Not at all. I find it rather admirable that you would stand up for your staff like that. I agree with you. I think certain members of the younger generation in this city have become a little too entitled. As far as the meal, why don't we set that on the back burner. It would hardly be a fair evaluation on a night such as this. I shall return another time to finish the job," he said. Bottom Line bowed his head gratefully.

"Miss Sparkle, it was a pleasure being able to speak with you. I do hope we can meet again," Appetite said with an endearing smile. The unicorn smiled weakly and waved, but couldn't bring herself to say anything that would give him hope that she wouldn't immediately teleport away if she ever caught sight of him again.

With that, Perfect Appetite left, and Bottom Line felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It had been one hell of a night, and thankfully closing time was quickly approaching. Now he just had to organize his waiters to deliver the gelato, and after that his guests would soon be out the door.

"Why don't you let us help you with the ice cream?" Twilight said, empathizing with the manager's stress. He smiled gratefully. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Twilight dispersed to find Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike, and Pinkie Pie. As the crowd had died down, so had the demands back in the dish room. After donning the appropriate serving attire five mares, Bottom Line, and a dragon stood before the walk-in freezer.

"Anyone seen Pinkie?" Twilight asked, looking over the group.

"I lost track 'ah her after I followed you inta tha dinin' room," Applejack said shrugging.

Bottom Line opened the freezer. It wasn't large, as really the gelato and other frozen desserts were the only thing that needed to be kept this cold. As the light flooded the room, Twilight gasped, and Bottom Line simply stared, wide-eyed.

There lay Pinkie Pie in the center of the room, surrounded by several open containers of ice cream and fudge. She was flat on her back, tongue hanging out of her mouth and her stomach practically bulged.

"I'm soooooo haaaappy!" She said as the group looked over her. Bottom Line adopted a flat stare, not sure whether to laugh or start counting the bits. In the end he sighed and started taking inventory of the rest of the ice cream, preparing to have it served throughout the restaurant.

~~~

After the six elements and Bottom's serving staff had finished distributing the gelato, much to the delight of the patrons, Twilight and her friends found themselves sitting at the same table that had started off the night. It was after closing time now, and only a few patrons lingered. Bottom Line had released them from service and now the six ponies and Spike were enjoying their own small cups of ice cream- Pinkie even got seconds. Or thirds. Fourths? Pinkie had some as well.

Bottom Line and Grease sat down at the table alongside the mares and dragon, each with their own cup of the tasty treat. The manager sighed as he took his first bite, relishing the first bit of relief he'd had all night. The rest of the mares giggled.

"Boy howdy, what ah night," Applejack said. Twilight nodded and the rest murmured their assent. Bottom Line cleared his throat, gathering the attention of those sitting at the table.

"I'd just like to thank all of you for your hard work tonight. Needless to say, we got off on the wrong hoof. However, I am very much glad to have had all of you as guests tonight. Culina is most certainly better off with your visit than it was before you visited," he said. The mares smiled warmly and Pinkie Pie giggled.

"You're always so formal! Group hug!" she said, drawing Bottom Line into a hug, followed by the rest of the six mares. Grease laughed on the outside of it until Fluttershy shot him a look and he stopped, hanging his head, and then joined in.

"Well, we are certainly glad that we didn't miss the whole party," a serene voice spoke from behind. The group hug broke up as they turned around to find Princess Celestia and Princess Luna smiling at them. Bottom Line and Grease immediately dropped to their knees as Twilight rushed forward.

"Princess!" She exclaimed, giving her mentor and Luna both a hug. The two alicorns smiled.

"Hello, Twilight Sparkle. Please, stand, everyone. May we join you?" Celestia asked.

"Of course, your Highness," Bottom Line said. He signaled to one of his staff to bring two more cups of ice cream and then made room for the Princesses.

The two new additions were served and the group had a delightful time catching the two sister up on the night's events. Celestia and Luna both laughed throughout the tale.

"Well it sounds as if perhaps it was better off that we were not able to join you earlier," Celestia said, smiling. Twilight looked at her oddly.

"Wait...You mean you meant for this to happen?" Twilight asked and then continued, figuring it out for herself, "You knew something was wrong between Bottom Line and Grease and that they needed our help...As well as General Stormfront. You invited us to come here to help them with the magic of friendship, didn't you?"

Celestia simply laughed and winked, while Luna smiled softly.

"I'm sorry that I had to ignore your request for help, my faithful student. I promise we'll have you and your friends to the castle soon for our own private dinner," Celestia said.

"Nonsense," Bottom Line interjected, "You will all always be welcome back at Culina, any time you desire. Just don't forget your pocketbooks this time."

Appropriate laughter rang throughout the table as the group enjoyed each other's company for a while longer. It grew late however and The Princesses stood to take their leave.Twilight and the others looked ready to leave as well. Grease and Bottom Line both stood up and walked the group to the door. They exchanged fond farewells, Fluttershy giving Grease a quick embrace and approving smile, and Spike yawning on top of Twilight.

"I hope to see you all again. Travel safely!" Bottom Line said as he and his son bid them goodbye from the restaurant doors.

"Hey! Can we go to Pony Joe's now?" Spike asked, perking up. Twilight looked back incredulously.

"Really? You want more sweets? I'm just tired and ready for bed," Twilight said, stifling a yawn.

"Go on ahead, Twilight. You and your friends deserve a little time to unwind with yourselves after your night. Luna and I will have rooms ready for you at the castle for your stay," Celestia said. Twilight thought it over and acquiesced, much to Spike and Pinkie's delight. The group split off from the princesses and walked down the streets towards Pony Joe's, much laughter erupting from the group as they walked.

Celestia and Luna however turned away and made their way back to the castle. Luna gave Celestia a shove, looking at her playfully. Celestia returned an amused, 'what?' look.

"You pulled that whole, 'I planned it from the start' thing completely out of your flank, didn't you?" Luna asked.

"Every bit of it."

fin

Author's Note

A Few Bits Short is finished! A project I started three-fourths a year ago finally wrapped up. Big thanks to my readers that were with it from the beginning that asked for it to be continued- your comments encouraged me to bring it to completion. Also thanks to Chaotic Harmony for lending his star power to make it more popular, Hyde for his pre-reading prowess, and Seto for the cover art. I hope you all enjoyed this little tale of wallets forgotten and debts repaid. Follow/watch me to stay tuned for a sneak peek at my next project!

The Bill

~A Few Bits Short~

Chapter One: The Bill

A quickly stifled yet noticeable belch suddenly announced itself over the quiet chatter of the dinner table. Orange cheeks grew a little rosier as the offender tipped her hat.

“Heh heh, pardon me.”

Rarity shot the cowpony a cool glare before collecting herself to speak.

“Really, Applejack. You’re already lucky they allowed you inside after you refused to check your hat at the door. You can’t at least act with some civility for a couple of hours?”

“Pfft. Like they’re going to turn away the Element of Honesty just to maintain the atmosphere?” Rainbow Dash chirped up from across the table, speaking over the last remnants of her meal before swallowing and leaning back contentedly.

Rarity’s eyes narrowed dangerously as she watched a piece of stray food fly from Rainbow’s mouth as she spoke. Her eyebrow twitched but she bit her tongue and refrained from speaking out again and saying something most unbecoming of a lady.

Fortunately, Twilight took up the task for her, although in a more diplomatic fashion.

“She does have a point. We are in one of the fanciest restaurants in Canterlot after all and- Rainbow! Are you even listening?”

The pegasus froze as she tried to pick a rogue piece of vegetation from her teeth. Smiling sheepishly, she closed her mouth and sat upright again.

“Well I think it was just wonderful of Princess Celestia to invite us to dinner…Even if she didn’t show up, that is.” Fluttershy commented, “I’m sure she was just busy…”

“At least I’ve been spared the embarrassment of dining with royalty alongside those who are more…inexperienced with proper dinner etiquette,” Rarity said, giving Applejack and Rainbow Dash a deadpan stare. Rainbow stuck her tongue out in response while Pinkie Pie giggled.

“What happened to the Princess anyway? Oh! Maybe a servant was bringing her tea only they tripped and spilled it and then slipped into one of the stained glass windows and shattered it then got really really hurt and the doctors couldn’t save him so Celestia had to come in and use her magic sun powers to bring him back to life and make sure he was okay?” Pinkie thought aloud, imagining the scenario.

“I’m…not sure,” Twilight said, trying to hide her disappointment at being stood up by her mentor. “Whatever it is, it must have been important.”

Suddenly, a very poignant belch interrupted their thoughts once again. Rarity’s head whipped around, a fierce glare and the sound of the straw breaking the mule’s back almost audible in the air after the shockwave of the burp. Several of the other dinner patrons by now were also giving ugly looks towards the party.

A sheaf of paper plopped down onto the table immediately afterward, bearing the royal seal. Spike, the perpetrator of the pervasive plague of gastrointestinal passed gas that was afflicting the party smiled sheepishly. Rarity huffed and turned her head, seeing no way she could really scold the baby dragon for involuntarily receiving a letter.

Twilight dutifully retrieved the scroll with her magic and unfurled it, beginning to read aloud.

Dear Twilight Sparkle and friends,

I sincerely apologize for missing our planned dinner together. Trust me when I say I would have much preferred spending the evening with you all! However, an urgent matter concerning the glass portrait of Starswirl the Bearded and a servant of mine demanded my attention for the entire evening. I do hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your evening and perhaps we can make plans for tomorrow.

Yours truly,

Princess Celestia

“Well…I guess it can’t be helped. We can stop by the castle tomorrow,” Twilight said in resignation.

“Oh! Oh! How about we go to Pony Joe’s since we have the rest of the night?” Spike said, standing up on his booster seat.

“That sounds like a great idea, Spike! Can we Twilight? Canwecanwecanwecanwe?” Pinkie said, siding with Spike as they both looked at her expectantly.

“Shoot, I’ve been wantin’ to talk ta Joe about a new business venture Applebloom thought of,” Applejack said, stroking her chin. “She reckons there’s money to be made in apple doughnuts to go with our cider.”

“That sounds delicious, Applejack,” Fluttershy

“Sounds fine to me. Dessert here is kind of…expensive…” Twilight trailed off as something occurred to her. Applejack looked concerned.

“Something wrong, sugarcube?” she said as the waiter came around, satisfied that they had all finished their meals. He gracefully set a black leather binder in the middle of the table and went on his way.

Seven pairs of eyes stared at the ominous black book nervously, Twilight’s realization suddenly apparent to all. Seeing as they were expecting to dine with Princess Celestia, none of them had brought any substantial amount of bits with them to the restaurant. Twilight had said it was going to be on the Princess’ tab.

“Oh-“ Applejack finally said.

“-Ponyfeathers.” Rainbow Dash finished.

Another few moments of uncomfortable silence passed as no one was willing to brave the check.

“Well…It can’t be…that bad, right?” Twilight laughed nervously, tentatively taking the book in her magic and opening to the bill.

The bill suddenly fell unceremoniously to the table, revealing a horrified Twilight as she stared blankly ahead, her right eye twitching. Spike cringed. All eyes viewed the detailed list of orders now visible to all.

“Oh…dear… I knew I should have just gotten soup…” Fluttershy said quietly, tucking herself behind her mane.

“60 bits fer a glass of wine?!” Applejack said looking at Rarity accusingly.

“My meal demanded a light and fruity pairing! I won't apologize for exercising my expertise in good cuisine.” Rarity shot back, looking back down at the bill. “Rainbow Dash! You should be ashamed of yourself, that was the most expensive item on the menu!”

“What!? Hey don’t blame me, I thought the Princess would be covering it! I’m allowed to live it up if I have the chance! Besides, look at the cost for those gems!” Raibow said defensively.

“Um… Excuse me...” Fluttershy attempted to take the floor, but was quickly overridden by Spike standing and slamming a fist on the table.

“Hey! You know how tired I am of eating nothing but hay fries and daffodil sandwiches? It’s undragonlike! Besides, I got a doggy bag…Maybe they’ll buy them back.” Spike said, bending over and picking up a box of half-eaten gems.

“Girls?” Fluttershy tried to interject.

“Rainbow Dash, I can’t believe you would try to shift the blame onto poor Spikey-Wikey. He’s a growing dragon and really deserves the proper nutrition,” Rarity said, turning her nose up. Spike’s cheeks grew red, being defended by the white unicorn.

“Yea, life isn’t all cupcakes and frosting. Ooooh but what if it were?” Pinkie Pie said, quickly jetting off towards some distant daydream of sugar and happiness.

“Tha-…That’s more money than the farm takes in inna month!” Applejack said, looking down towards the total.

“Girls, we really shouldn’t be talking so lou-“ Fluttershy said again, only to be cut off by Rainbow Dash. She hid behind her mane, attempting to hide herself from the gathering stares of other patrons.

“What’s the big deal? We’re famous! I say they owe us a lot more for saving their butts from Discord!” the pegasus said leaning back in her chair.

“I don’t feel good about abusing our status like that,” Twilight said, thoughtfully.

“What if we just show them the- Oh, darn it…” Fluttershy began to say, expecting to be cut off again. However this time the table grew silent as her friends stared at her expectantly. “Oh…I was just going to say…What if we show them the letter from the Princess? It does have the royal seal on it after all…and I’m sure they’d take it as an IOU…If you think that’s a good idea, that is.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea, Fluttershy,” Twilight said, looking for the letter on the table. “Wait, where did it go?”

Suddenly their table was cleared of their dishes and unwanted leftovers leaving just the clean white tablecloth. The letter from the Princess was nowhere in sight. In the middle of their somewhat heated discussion over the bill, the waiter had returned and cleared their plates. The letter had been neatly rolled up on Twilight’s dish and taken away.

“Oh no…” Twilight groaned.

Behind her, a stallion cleared his throat obtrusively. He had a dark brown coat and black mane that was neatly styled backwards. Twilight had seen him wandering around talking with a few of the guests from time to time.

“Good evening ladies…And dragon. I’m the manager of this fine establishment. Your waiter told me there may be a…problem with the check?” He said in an even and diplomatic tone, yet in his eyes you could tell that he already regarded them coolly and was planning on how to retrieve his compensation.

“Oh, dear.” Twilight said.

"I didn't eat all my gems! I bet these will cover at least half the bill, right?" Spike said hopefully, holding up the open box of half-eaten rubies, sapphires and emeralds. A bit of dragon slobber was visible on one small piece of ruby that Spike saw and quickly removed, popping it into his mouth. Rainbow Dash face-hoofed.

"Apologies. We don't accept leftovers as payment," the manager said in a dry tone.

“Why, it will be no problem at all, good sir,” Rarity said, batting her eyelashes and taking command of the situation. “You see, we just forgot our pocketbooks. I’m sure a gentleman such as yourself would understand.”

“Ah yes,” the manager said, looking towards Rarity without giving any hint that her subtly flirtatious plea had had any effect. “Six of Equestria’s most well-regarded ponies decided to go out for dinner and conveniently all forgot that doing so requires some coin.”

“Hey now, what’re ye implyin’ there, mister?” Applejack said, taking the condescending tone of the manager as offense.

“Please,” huffed the manager, letting the neutral mask of his face slip as he now openly eyed them all with animosity. “I know your type. You don’t operate Canterlot’s finest dining experience without getting all the most self-important ponies in the land coming in thinking their status will pay for their visit. Frankly, I did not expect it of the Elements of Harmony. But I suppose I was mistaken.”

“You really think we’d come here expecting a free meal?” Twilight said, aghast at the defamation of their character.

“Regardless of whether you did or not, here we are, hm? Quite a tab and no bits between you.”

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this nonsense,” Rainbow said, taking to the air and hovering over the group. By now they were causing quite the scene and the other patrons had exhausted their arsenal of dirty looks and now were just considering it dinner and a show.

“You gonna stop me if I just fly out of here, buddy? Or if we all just walk out?” Rainbow said angrily.

The manager’s eyes narrowed but his tone remained even.

“You really don’t understand commerce and the concept of precedence do you? This restaurant has the great pleasure of being visited frequently by Canterlot’s elite, all of whom consider themselves your equals whether through true merit or just their own hyper-inflated egos. Were I to let you go without compensation for our services, think of the example that sets. Soon everyone would be willing to walk out on their bills, thinking that they are above the rules of commerce that keep this business afloat,” he said.

Although Twilight less than appreciated the manager’s tone in the conversation thus far, he did have a solid point, and the mare would not feel good about simply walking out on the bill. Rainbow Dash scowled heavily but landed again and remained quiet.

"Let me contact Celestia. I'm sure she'll reply and include enough bits to cover the bill. Spike?" Twilight asked. Spike nodded and produced a sheaf of paper and a quill. Pinkie Pie became curious and looked behind Spike for the source of the writing materials. Then realization struck her.

"Ooooh, paper and quills stashed away in case of a letter emergency! You're good." Pinkie snickered.

Bottom Line watched with a raised eyebrow, ignoring the pink mare's comment. He was debating whether or not to allow them to write their letter, but knowing that the Elements of Harmony did have somewhat of a direct line to the Princess, and it entailed the possibility of compensation for their meal, he allowed it.

"...We are quite sorry to trouble you with this matter, but would appreciate your quick response. Signed, your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." Twilight finished dictating to Spike. The young dragon dotted his i's and crossed his t's then rolled up the scroll and ignited it, sending it on it's way to the Princess. Twilight closed her eyes contentedly, with a small smile on her face. Any minute now, Spike would once more disturb the peace with a flaming belch that would free them of their predicament.

Any minute.

Rarity bit her lip as time dragged on, and Applejack looked nervous. Bottom Line's scowl deepened with each passing moment. Twilight opened one eye and looked at Spike. The young dragon shrugged in response.

Bottom Line finally cleared his throat, tired of waiting. Twilight smiled weakly. Bottom Line spoke.

“Now, I previously was willing to make a quiet deal with you all, but thanks to your outbursts and general disruption of the atmosphere-“

Rainbow rolled her eyes, while Rarity scowled at her and Applejack.

“-everyone here now knows that you cannot pay and I am left in the afore-mentioned predicament of setting a precedent. Until the Princess replies with compensation - if she even chooses to - my compensation will have to be suitably public so that none of these highbrow foals think they can walk out on a bill,” the manager stated in a quiet tone that, try as they might, the other patrons could not eavesdrop on.

“Uhh…Did’ya have somethin’ in mind?” Applejack asked suspiciously.

The manager smiled.

“Please, walk this way,” the manager said as he turned away and headed towards the back offices of the restaurant.

“I prefer skipping, but if you say so!” Pinkie chimed while copying the manager’s exact gait.

The Main Course

~A Few Bits Short~

Chapter Four: The Main Course

Bottom Line leaned back in his chair, releasing a pent up sigh as he examined the two mares sitting in front of him in his office. They were both still rather wet, but sat quietly. Applejack looked appropriately abashed and didn't meet Bottom Line’s gaze. Rarity on the other hand assumed an air of haughty indifference.

Running a restaurant was difficult; especially one as high class as his. There was the finance for one. Some ponies might assume that the high-priced menu would more than fill Bottom Line’s coffers, but the cost was necessary to cover the expenses the business incurred. Food costs took up at least a third of his budget. After all, part of the reason Culina had become so well-known was because of their high quality dishes. That meant fresh ingredients - nothing processed - which led to increased food costs. Then there were the employee salaries; it all added up rather quickly.

Bottom Line’s father had owned Culina as soon as he had mastered the trade, and his father before then. Bottom’s great-grandfather had founded the place and it’d been in his family ever since. He took running the establishment and carrying on the honor of his family very seriously. He hoped one day to pass it on to his own son.

All this weighed on Bottom Line as he delicately rubbed a tired eye. The night was growing long, and he was ready for it to be over. He had enough on his plate already just running this place without these two upstart Elements making a complete mess of his dish room. Elements of Harmony? Hardly.

"I don't know what to do with you ponies," Bottom Line finally started, "whether to let you finish paying off your debt or just cut my losses and let you go before you burn this place to the ground."

"Obviously we've suffered enough and made an example for your patrons, have we not?" Rarity retorted.

Bottom Line sighed, preparing a response, when Applejack spoke first, gently.

"Rarity, Ah'm surprised at you," the country pony said softly. Rarity turned towards her, indignation on her face.

"Surprised at me? Why ever would that be?" She said icily.

"You jus' can't put yerself in Mr. Line's hooves fer a couple minutes? He knows it ain't our fault we couldn't pay the bill. He believes us. He ain't out to ruin our night. But we still have a debt to pay. An' if he'd rather let us welch on our bill than pay it off fairly on account'a our bad behavior...Well Ah don't have to tell ya why that don't sit right with me. An' it shouldn't sit right with you either, Generosity." Applejack spoke quietly and gently, trying to adopt a mannerism that wasn't condemning, but trying to get Rarity to look past her own perceived slights.

Rarity opened her mouth as if to answer but thought better of it and remained quiet for a moment. The tone of Applejack's lecture had done just what she hoped- disarm Rarity's attitude. Bottom Line watched carefully, an eyebrow raised. After having to break up the fight in the dish room, he had a hard time believing that this is how the Elements of Harmony behaved. He had thought them to be on some higher moral plane. That was a big reason he was eventually able to accept Twilight's explanation for their predicament, despite putting up a tough front at first.

Now he thought that maybe he had misunderstood. Perhaps on their own, each of the Elements were really not much different than other ponies. But working together, keeping each other accountable for their actions and encouraging each other to be the best representation of their Element that they could be? That was a truer sense of Harmony than he had understood.

Suddenly the door to his office opened and Grease walked in, breaking the mood. Bottom Line looked towards him, annoyed.

"I'm in the middle of a meeting, Ellbogen." He said curtly, intending to dismiss him. However Grease remained, though flicking his ear at the use of his real name.

"Sorry, sir. But we have a bit of an issue," Grease replied, not moving.

Bottom Line closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how many more issues he could take tonight.

"What is it." He said in more of a statement than a question.

In answer, Twilight trotted in.

"I got him his drink, he's looking over the menu now," she said nervously.

"Who are you talking about?" Bottom Line said suspiciously. Obviously Culina was no stranger to famous ponies, so he wondered who might be able to set his staff on edge. Suddenly, it dawned on him.

"He's here?" Bottom Line answered his own question, looking towards Grease.

"He is. He got seated in Twilight's section. He was quite impressed to be having the Element of Magic serving him," Grease responded.

Bottom Line and Grease started talking while Twilight caught sight of Rarity and Applejack.

"What happened to you two?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow at their drenched appearance.

"Uh...Long story," Applejack answered. Rarity grinned sheepishly.

"Who are you talking about?" Rarity asked of the mysterious patron who had Grease and Bottom Line up in arms.

Twilight bit her lip and looked nervous. "It's Perfect Appetite. I guess he's the biggest food critic in Canterlot-"

"Perfect Appetite? Oh dear, no wonder those two are so set off," Rarity said with concern.

Applejack and Twilight both looked at Rarity in surprise.

"What? I get the Canterlot paper every morning. How else am I to keep up with the latest fashion trends? Perfect Appetite writes a column reviewing Canterlot's notable eateries. He's not known for being, er...Lenient, shall we say."

"That's putting it lightly," Bottom Line chimed in. Grease had finished filling him in and the business pony held his front hooves together as he leaned against his desk. "I've been expecting his visit for some time. Of course it would be tonight."

Bottom Line stood up and slowly walked around his desk towards the wall where a few frames hung. One was his business license, the others framed newspaper clippings.

"Appetite has been here before of course and we've delivered every time. Five stars. But about once a year he comes back to check up on us and it's never any less painful," Bottom Line said, examining last years clipping.

"What do you want me to do?" Twilight asked, not sure if she could - or wanted to - take on the challenge.

"Nothing. I'll reassign another of my servers to him, and you'll go about serving the other patrons," Bottom Line answered, heading for the door. "I'm going to go and greet him. Rarity, Applejack please go and get yourselves composed, then meet me back here. Twilight, make sure your other tables are properly settled."

With that Bottom Line exited his office. Grease scowled, looking irritated.

"I guess I'll just go back to work then," the stallion said, before looking over at Applejack and Rarity and allowing a small smirk to appear. "Guess you were right Applejack. Whatever happened, I'm glad I didn't stick around. Follow me ladies, I'll show you where some towels are."

~~~

"Good evening, Mr. Appetite. How are we doing?" Bottom Line said gracefully as he approached the critic's table. Perfect Appetite looked up, levitating a glass of water to his lips and taking a sip.

"The water is fabulous, as always," Perfect replied, smiling.

Bottom Line chuckled and took a seat next to the critic. The two had known each other ever since Bottom Line had taken over running Culina. While 'friends' was a stretch, they enjoyed a somewhat comfortable business relationship. Granted, even that relationship was strained when one of them held the power to destroy the other's livelihood.

"I say, I'm impressed, Line. Twilight Sparkle, serving in a run-down establishment like this? You must have drained Celestia's vault to have her student indentured to you," Perfect inquired.

Bottom Line smiled conservatively. He didn't want to acknowledge the true reason for the Elements' service here and embarrass them further. Before Applejack's rather passionate explanation to Rarity, he had been planning on letting them all go and calling it even. Something told him that the country pony wouldn't accept that though, not until her debt was paid.

Besides, if this conversation was about to go where Bottom Line thought it was-

"Good evening, Mr. Appetite. Have you decided what you'll be sampling from the kitchen tonight?" Stellar Tray, Bottom Line's best serving mare had made her way over to relieve Twilight of serving the food critic.

"Ah, good evening my fine mare," Perfect replied politely, though looking confused, "and here I thought you were using Miss Sparkle to get on my good side. It would have been an impressive show I admit, I do admire the young mare's work..."

He was going to need them. There it was. The hook. Bottom Line held back an exasperated sigh. Perfect Appetite was hanging his evaluation of Culina on being able to chat with Twilight. Normally not something that he would have minded, but despite her rather impressive service being a waitress thus far, she was still inexperienced. Still, perhaps Perfect would be too engrossed in getting to know Twilight to really take notice of any mistakes she made serving. An idea struck.

"Then allow yourself to be impressed. I just asked Miss Tray here to assist with serving you. Twilight will be back to see you shortly," Bottom Line replied smoothly, hoping he could deliver.

"Excellent! Well in that case, I'd like a few more moments to decide, Miss Tray, but thank you for asking," Perfect said smugly.

"Of course sir," Stellar Tray said, watching Bottom Line for a cue. He nodded in the direction of the kitchen and she headed that way.

"Well, I must go about my business, but please do not hesitate to tell me if you need anything, Perfect. Enjoy your visit to Culina," Bottom Line said, standing up from his seat, bowing and leaving him to peruse the menu.

Bottom Line met Stellar in the kitchen and finally released his pleasant and cordial demeanor, allowing a more tired one to take it's place.

"What do you need me to do, Mr. Line?" Stellar asked, concerned. That was just one of the qualities Bottom had hired Stellar for. She was always willing to work hard to please the customer and fill whatever gaps necessary.

"I'm sorry to do this, Miss Tray, but I need you to take over Twilight's other tables. I have a feeling that Mr. Appetite is going to be monopolizing her time," he said, starting to walk towards his office. He passed Rainbow Dash as she was coming in from the dining room. She looked disturbed and nervous, but Bottom Line didn't notice and spoke quickly as he passed.

"Would you send Twilight into my office as soon as she is able, please?"

Rainbow, startled, looked toward Bottom Line and replied distractedly.

"Uh...Yea, no problem, boss."

~~~

A few moments earlier...

Rainbow Dash had adjusted to serving the patrons of Culina well. Deciding to approach it as a challenge, she wanted to see how many tips she could collect in an hour. How fast could she bring out drinks, or an order? And she had finally learned to control her inner monologue in such a way that she didn't blurt out her impatience in front of the customers. That aided her efforts greatly.

Until They came. That's right, Them, with a capital T. They weren't dressed in Their uniforms, but Rainbow recognized Them immediately.

Spitfire and Soarin. Elite members of the one and only Wonderbolts. They had just been seated in her area and Rainbow had nearly trotted right up to hem to greet them and take their order before she stopped short at the revelation. Her wings snapped hard against the restrictive server's vest she was wearing, holding them back from flaring out and evacuating her from the situation.

Instead she turned around darted behind another table.

"Uh...Excuse me, miss?"

Rainbow looked up at the occupant of the chair she was hiding behind. A well-mannered unicorn that had been enjoying his meal looked down at Rainbow in confusion.

"Uh...Just checking the, uh...stability of your chair! Yep! Solid as a rock! Enjoy your meal sir!" Rainbow said nervously, then laughed awkwardly and backed away from the table.

"Indeed..." the patron said, returning to his food.

Rainbow backed up until she made it safely into the kitchen and ran into Bottom Line.

"Would you send Twilight into my office as soon as she is able, please?"

Rainbow jumped, caught off guard at being addressed directly. Thankfully Bottom Line didn't notice, although the other serving mare he was with - Rainbow thought her name was Stella or something - looked at her strangely.

"Uh...Yea, no problem, boss." Rainbow flinched after agreeing to the task blindly. Twilight was out on the serving floor, and that meant that she would have to go out there where They were. It would require all her stealth and cunning.

She first approached the door and looked through the window, trying to find Twilight before going out on the floor. She spotted her only a couple tables away, but it would require her to pass in view of where Spitfire and Soarin were sitting.

She exited the kitchen, head low, ducking behind tables and patrons whenever possible as she made her way towards Twilight. As she approached the aisle that gave her a clear line of sight towards the two Wonderbolts, she found no way to cross the gap without being seen. Twilight was so close. She was at the table just on the other side of the gap.

"Twilight," she tried whispering.

The unicorn took no notice of her friend trying to get her attention and finished up the order.

"I'll have your order in right away!" Twilight said, turning around and trotting back towards the kitchen. As she passed by a table something suddenly grabbed her hoof and dragged her down.

"Ah! Wha-"

"Shhhh!"

"Rainbow? What are you doing?" Twilight said, now level with the pegasus behind the table.

"Bottom Line wants to see you in his office right away," Rainbow whispered, looking around the table at the Wonderbolts. Spitfire was tapping a hoof, looking impatient. Soarin just looked hungry, but that wasn't terribly different from his normal appearance.

"Ok, I'll go see him but I don't understand why we're un-" Twilight started but was interrupted by the unicorn in the chair above them clearing his throat.

Both Rainbow and Twilight looked up in surprise. It was the same unicorn whose chair Rainbow had 'inspected' earlier.

"Uh...Needed a second opinion," Rainbow said sheepishly. The unicorn rolled his eyes and ignored them.

Together they both returned to the kitchen. Twilight started for Bottom Line's office, before turning back towards Rainbow.

"Oh! Did you see? Spitfire and Soarin are here! I got them seated in your section so you can get some face time with them. Good luck!" Twilight winked, glad for being able to help her friend out.

"Oh. Thanks," Rainbow said weakly as Twilight trotted off to Bottom Line's office. Rainbow couldn't muster up the sentiment to be angry with Twilight. She only thought she was helping her with her dreams. The reason she was trying to avoid them was because she didn't want to be seen serving in a restaurant. What would they think? Going from captain of the Ponyville Weather Team to some serving mare in Canterlot? She couldn't explain to them the reason she was serving, that was too embarrassing too...And who would believe that the Princess of all people would stand somepony up at dinner, much less the Elements?

The frantic panic in Rainbow's mind kept her from realizing, that in actuality, it wasn't really that unbelievable of a story. The thought of her heroes and idols kept her a little irrational, however. She had to be cool. Maybe she could make the best of this situation. She could be working for... charity! That was it. It wasn't really untrue, after all. She was just working for her own charity: her rather expensive appetite.

She took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself. The door to the kitchen opened and Stellar trotted through, busily handling the increased stress of Twilight's previous tables.

"Hey, I think you've got a table waiting on you. They don't look very happy. Not good to keep Wonderbolts waiting, you know," Stellar mentioned, hiding her slight irritation. The Wonderbolts tipped well, and she would have preferred to have them in her section. Although, with taking on two sections at once now, Stellar supposed she was still in for a good, albeit busy night. She instead was more bothered by Rainbow's attitude. She moved too fast and didn't pay enough attention, or respect, to the customers. In short, Rainbow made Culina look bad, and by extension, Stellar looked bad as well.

Rainbow Dash picked up on none of this however, as a feeling of dread gripped her stomach. All this time she had kept Spitfire and Soarin waiting was only exacerbating her internal crisis. They might think she was lazy! They might think she wasn't dedicated! Worst of all, they might think she was slow!

"Omigoshomigoshomigoshomigosh!" Rainbow bolted out of the kitchen.

~~~

"You wanted to see me, Bottom Line?" Twilight said as she trotted into his office.

Bottom Line looked up from his desk and nodded, then gestured for Twilight to join Applejack and Rarity who were already sitting in front of his desk.

The two mares had cleaned up as best as they could in the little filly's room with the towels that Grease had found for them. Rarity had used a generous portion of magic re-styling her mane and tail to their former curls, but on the inside still felt grimy from the fight. Oh, the bits she would spend at the spa tomorrow.

Applejack on the other hand, had gathered her mane back into it's braid by hoof, although Rarity had tried to offer her services out of apology for causing it. The mood between the two mares was still somewhat cool, although Rarity felt genuine remorse for the situation. All they needed was a little time to talk and bring peace back into their friendship.

"Just a moment, Twilight. Applejack, Rarity, can I trust you two back in the dish room again?" Bottom Line asked. They had all just been finishing their discussion that had previously been interrupted by the arrival of Perfect Appetite.

"Ya have mah word on the honor of tha Apple Family name," Applejack said, taking her Stetson and and holding it over her heart as she bowed her head.

"I do apologize for my most unladylike behavior. It won't happen again," Rarity said.

"Good. Return to Sudsy then and let him know you are ready to get back to work," Bottom Line said. The two mares stood up and exited the room. Twilight offered them an encouraging smile.

"Twilight, I believe you've already met Mr. Appetite, our most esteemed guest for tonight," Bottom Line started. Twilight shivered at the memory. She hadn't known who Appetite was at first, but he had recognized her on sight. It was a feeling she wasn't used to, and the way he looked at her thoroughly creeped her out.

"Yes. It was an uh...Awkward introduction," Twilight said. Considering his first reaction upon seeing her was to clap his hooves together and exclaim, "Twilight Sparkle! Oh, I know all about you!" awkward was a bit of an understatement.

"Yes, well I have a favor to ask of you-" Bottom Line began, but Twilight, already seeing where this was going, cut him off.

"You want me to serve him? Why me? Why not one of your staff?" Twilight said, not at all successful in concealing her grimace.

"Believe me, I would much rather that be the case. However, he is quite intent on being able to interact with you. Let me be blunt. The success of Culina depends on it's good reputation. Perfect Appetite controls that reputation, and right now he is holding it hostage. Please, Twilight. If you help me out here, I will absolve all of you of your debt and let you all leave. I will even welcome you back with open arms should you choose to visit again," Bottom Line said. It was all he could do to keep the pleading tone out of his voice.

Twilight frowned and thought over the new deal. It seemed that the scales had shifted. Twilight considered the power she now held in her hooves. She was tempted for a moment to reject Bottom Line's request just to spite him. But it wouldn't be right, and it was never in her to deny a pony in need. She smiled.

"Okay. What do I need to know?" She asked confidently, certain that she would have to step up her game in order to impress the critic.

"Thank you, Twilight," Bottom Line said sincerely. "Now then, let me fill you in on a couple subtleties..."

Author's Note

This chapter got long in a hurry! Don't worry, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Spike will return in the next chapter!