The Nicest Mare in Equestria
Chapter 1 - It starts off pretty nice
“Starlight Glimmer this is one of the most important meetings to ever take place in Equestria.” Twilight said looking almost like she was shaking.
“Look your friend wants to see you Twilight, and I’m not you. I mean just cancel this is about a diplomatic emergency with the Saddle Arabians right? Everyone knows they are proud ponies.” Starlight Glimmer said not feeling qualified to see anypony that hadn’t requested it.
“Look I wouldn’t ask, if it wasn’t incredibly important. We are quite similar, and it’s not like ponies don’t like making new friends right?
Moon Dancer cares a lot about our friendship, and it wasn’t like she didn’t take it badly when I stood her up, because I thought nightmare moon came back.” Twilight said getting hooved a list by Spike.
“To be fair she doesn’t really keep up with current events. I mean I’m sure she’ll feel way better once she reads about it in a history book.” Spike suggested trying to defend his old flame’s honor, falling short.
“And you can’t come either, because the princess of friendship needs her assistant.” Starlight Glimmer concluded.
“Look everyone is busy, including me. Rarity has been decorating things in a manner they find appealing, Applejack is in charge of making all kinds of spiced apple sauces, because every saddle Arabian meal needs at least five seasonal fruit based sauces...” Twilight looked beyond worn, if only princess Luna would finally learn to speak more diplomatically, rather than not at all until pressed on an issue.
Then again maybe this was also about Celestia eating the last piece of cake rather than leaving it for the guests. Granted Luna had started yelling, but Saddle Arabians loved a good spiteful argument.
“Fine, but I’m no good at this, and it’s probably an important lesson, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Starlight Glimmer said giving a small nod as her teacher hurried away yelling a barely audible thank you, in her general direction checking another mark on one of her lists.
Starlight Glimmer got busy finding some consolatory things to hoove over settling on some quills, and stationary she considered far too good for herself. She thought of what to say, practicing before a mirror, and… She just couldn’t leave.
It didn’t seem like the kind of situation she wanted to enter without a surefire plan. After all when backed in a corner, she could easily imagine herself falling back on a easy magic fix, that would surely win the day, but well be flat out immoral leaving her alone, and friendless. Not just that, but also a failure.
Starlight Glimmer briefly thought about taking Trixie along, but… If someone was easily offended, and didn’t enjoy meeting new people she was right out. Spending an evening around Trixie, because with was impossible until you knew just how amazing she was, didn’t seem like a good idea.
Looking into one of the many shining surfaces of the castle an idea struck her. She had the same interests as Twilight, and had the same qualifications not counting morality, or achievement.
If they looked the same Moon Dancer wouldn’t know any better, and spend a happy evening. If she wasn’t a good princess of friendship, it was all the better, because then Twilight wouldn’t have to visit Moon Dancer anymore.
Sure the plan wouldn’t work, if Twilight ever found out about what she had done, but it was better than not going, because she couldn’t handle the social pressure of dealing with somepony else’s mistakes.
Starlight Glimmer practiced the spell several times until she got it just right, and hurried to catch the last possible train to Canterlot.
Starlight Glimmer hid in a bush, and checked the invitation again. Just a quiet evening dinner, in Twilight’s old haunt, full of books, and talking about the old times. She had gone over the correspondence in the train, so she would know just what in the world Moon Dancer wanted. It was diffuse, if anything.
Moon Dancer really liked writing dearest twilight a lot, and didn’t seem to have anything substantial to say in her letters obviously longing more for her presence than advice, or words.
It seemed odd to say the least, but then again some ponies weren’t terribly interesting, nor did they need any help. For all she knew there was some terribly personal stuff Moon Dancer wanted to discuss. Without Spike.
One quick spell later a perfect copy of Twilight hurried up the stairs to Moon Dancer’s library. This was terribly wrong, and Starlight Glimmer already felt stupid, but at the same time the prospect excited her. Twilight had never done anything wrong, and for the most part everyone reacted positively to her.
Starlight Glimmer on the other hoof had never had an admirer she hadn’t been able to control, mostly because she was afraid everyone would eventually desert her. Her behavior though proved that fear justified, that much was true. In fact she was uncomfortable around anypony that didn’t need her. Trixie needed her to talk about how amazing she was for example, and that worked terrifically. Well for as long as you could listen to how great Trixie was.
She didn’t expect to be welcomed in an evening dress with a harp playing softly playing itself in the background.
“You came?” Moon Dancer looked more than stunned at a face that wasn’t her own.
“Sort of. I mean I’m really under dressed, and tired. I didn’t expect all of this either.” Starlight Glimmer said honestly impressed.
Where did Twilight get off standing up friends like that. Even in a village completely under her hoof she had never seen that kind of attention to detail put into appeasing her. Sure they tried, but lacking Cutie marks… Well it never came out this well.
“I didn’t want to tell you. I mean it doesn’t make sense to make you feel bad, if you don’t have time. I mean it’s… I want you to be here, because you want to be. Not, because I did something.” Moon Dancer said ushering her royal visitor to a table in the middle of the library.
“Huh. I always want to do a good job, regardless of who people think I am.” Starlight Glimmer said absent minded, forgetting what Twilight would say.
Moon Dancer looked hurt.
“I mean because I made mistakes, and I’m trying to make good on what I did. Not that it makes you feel better, because then you think of what I did.” Starlight Glimmer analyzed trying to minimize the amount of uncomfortable silence by summing up what she thought a productive conversation would yield.
“You really feel bad about that?” Moon Dancer asked looking touched.
“Yeah I mean I feel bad about it too, but it’s you who is the victim. So your feelings are my responsibility in a way. More important than mine anyways.” Starlight Glimmer said, because well Twilight would probably say that, if she thought about what she did, instead of what she was doing.
They both ate hay fries, and other take out foods placed with care on fine porcelain. Granted it wasn’t picture perfect, but it was so touching just how much effort had gone into all of this.
“Spike would have loved this, but you know he probably wouldn’t want us to talk about difficult things.” Starlight Glimmer said feeling terribly out of her element.
“He wouldn’t. He wants all his friends to be happy, just like everyone else. It’s not that I don’t care, I do care. I smile just like everyone else, but...” Moon Dancer said wiping her hoofs on a towel floating before her.
“Well this isn’t the worst way to suffer, I mean look at the stars, and the books, and the telescope, and your dress. It’s not like you can’t look away.” Starlight Glimmer said looking around.
“I can’t though. I never could. I don’t get to make that choice.” Moon Dancer said looking annoyed with herself the napkin crumpling before her.
“You seem a little obsessed with Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship.” Starlight glimmer said adding the last part to make it seem like she was disgusted with all the fanfare, rather than an impostor.
“This isn’t about your rank, or how important you are I paid attention to you when you didn’t even look up! Now they like you, because of what you do, but did you ever consider that, if you weren’t who you are now... They would only have pity for you.” Moon Dancer protested before slumping in her chair.
“Uh… Yeah, and I’m really afraid of messing all of that up? I mean I feel I owe people for putting up with me. If that includes anypony it’s you.
Not a day goes by where that doesn’t drive me to be a better pony. I mean you are with me always.” Starlight Glimmer said trying to think about how Twilight would feel.
“Oh.” Moon Dancer said looking terribly tired.
“Look with who I am I can never give you all the attention you deserve. Maybe some day, but… The world is ending you know, and until someone else can stop that…
How can I be there for somepony like that when I can’t even save my own life?” Starlight Glimmer said in what she thought was perfect Twilight.
“So what? I’m not worth it?” Moon Dancer asked.
“No I’m not worth it. You are special, and I’m like everyone else.” Starlight Glimmer said trying to drive home the point.
“It’s not fair, but… Thank you for being honest about it. I mean I knew, but at least you’d do the right thing, if you could… I mean that’s more than… I expected. At least now I know what I was worried about.” Moon Dancer said rising from her chair looking deflated.
Had she seriously tried to make the princess of friendship doom Equestria, and all it’s inhabitants so she could have Twilight to herself? Starlight Glimmer felt impressed more than anything. That kind of audacity took some real back bone, or maybe Moon Dancer just didn’t care anymore.
“Well I still have things to do today, trouble in Saddle Arabia, and all that.” Starlight Glimmer said wanting to leave before the illusion had a chance to start wearing off.
Moon Dancer nodded.
As Starlight Glimmer turned to leave she felt two staring eyes on her.
Oh right hugs, Twilight Sparkle did that.
“You can hug me just like anypony else, you know?” Moon Dancer said looking entitled more than anything.
“I don’t think that will satisfy you either.” Starlight Glimmer said worried her illusion might not stand up to pony grade hugging.
“No it doesn’t. It’s big of you to say that by my standards you fail… I feel better, but I think you should go.” Moon Dancer said looking at her with bitter sweet affection.
“OK, well thanks for going through all the effort, and I’m sorry I can’t be there for you like you need me to be. You know I have this apprentice her name is Starlight Glimmer, and I’m sure you could meet her, if you want. I mean she is less busy.
Your kind of pony through, and through.” Starlight Glimmer said leaving.
“Well I suppose, I mean… It can’t be helped. I… I guess I would do the same thing.” Moon dancer said not wishing her goodnight.
“So?” Twilight asked looking like she had barely gotten a wink of sleep.
“Nothing too bad. I managed.” Starlight Glimmer said hoping she wouldn’t be pushed on the details.
“She wasn’t mad?” Twilight asked looking disturbed considering what that potentially meant.
“Oh no she was furious, even yelling, but I explained to her that you can’t be the friend she wants, because you have to save the world, and so forth.” Starlight Glimmer said content with herself chewing her breakfast oats.
“Oh… Well that wasn’t very...” Twilight looked depressed more than anything.
“Yeah I’m not you, and Moon Dancer isn’t like other mares you know… I think if you string her along she is just going to hurt more. She just wants things you don’t have it’s OK to admit that.” Starlight Glimmer said calmly.
“But still friends aren’t like that.” Twilight said trying to explain it.
“Come on Twilight there is all kinds of friendship. Not every pony is the same, and that’s good. I mean we can’t all get along perfectly. We make mistakes, and ponies learn from mistakes, and so on, and so forth.
If you don’t have the time to let her make those mistakes with you, that’s perfectly fine. You don’t owe her labor, or pain. She’d likely be at best a slave without you around, I mean we all saw it. You can both be good ponies apart form each other.” Starlight Glimmer said calmly trying to muddy the waters with a friendship lesson.
Lying was bad after all.
“Yeah, but… Look I don’t think she even wants to spend time with anypony else? I mean sure she tags along to stay entertained, but… I don’t think she cares about other ponies.” Twilight Sparkle said sounding worried.
“I don’t think so. I think she just wants one friend to share everything with.” Starlight Glimmer said a realization hitting her.
“Oh… That kind of friend… Well good luck to her, I guess I mean uh…” Twilight said looking out of her depth more than anything.
“Come on you have a few thousand years to find somepony, unless someone destroys the world first. Wow that’s romantic actually, come to think of it. Twilight Sparkle fighting for love.” Starlight Glimmer said beyond amused.
It was no secret that the princess of friendship didn’t exactly feed the rumor mill with her conquests, and was perfectly happy with that situation.
“Well I’m no Cadence.” Twilight said probably pushed into her quiet lifestyle more by the fact that Cadence had an intimidating love life.
“Well you have other laurels to rest on. Who knows maybe Cadence will lead a crack team of commandos a hundred years from now, after you know motherhood is finished.” Starlight Glimmer said entertained.
“Celestia protect me, I’m kind of hoping you’ll take the weight of my shoulders at some point. You know before we all look like Granny Smith. I mean I can’t even close my eyes anymore without seeing some magical monster coming to get me.” Twilight said looking very tired all of the sudden.
“It’s nice to have someone think of you. Besides so long as you, I, and everyone in Equestria wants to live there will be no shortage of people standing up to certain doom.” Starlight Glimmer said feeling in a joking mood.
“Ugh...” Twilight said not wanting her to make light of the fact that she would probably magically blast her though the next wall, if she startled her hard enough.
Starlight Glimmer was busy filing things. All the things which she thought were immoral, and she had done. Like flash cards she looked through them, and considered just how she felt about them. It was really a great way to keep your conscience from eating you alive, because there was always something to do to make up for it, reflect on the impact of it, and try to fix it.
She heard someone hit the main gate with her hoof. It was quite odd Trixie was more nocturnal than most ponies, being a showpony through, and through.
“Moon Dancer?” Starlight Glimmer asked in disbelief.
Gone was the dress, and the open flowing hair she was wearing a turtleneck, and had fixed her hair out of the way. Apparently Starlight Glimmer wasn’t royalty, which would have been more offensive, if some crazies didn’t literally worship princesses in a way that would prevent even Discord from tormenting you for a record three seconds.
“Have we met?” Moon Dancer asked looking like the remark had knocked her off balance a little.
“No, but Twilight said you were coming, and she pointed you out on a picture.” Starlight Glimmer lied with the practiced ease that came from years of leadership.
“Oh I guess she would. She always thinks ahead.” Moon Dancer said looking like she felt bad for snapping at Starlight Glimmer.
“Yeah… Do you want to do anything, or are you visiting Lyra?” Starlight Glimmer asked hoping this wouldn’t be about any sort of need.
“Oh so I would just stop by to say hi? Huh? I’m just bothering ponies?” Moon Dancer asked looking heated.
“I didn’t know meeting new ponies was that hard for you.” Starlight Glimmer said trying to defuse that time bomb.
“No… It’s just whenever I meet ponies they want to go out, and do things, and I never have any time for myself to rest. I study hard you know?” Moon Dancer said apparently begging for forgiveness.
Starlight Glimmer found it easy to forgive, her scale of offense considering Twilight had once smashed her Utopia, destroyed her ego, and empirically proven her to be the worst kind of villain wasn’t really rated for the faint input of equestrian social life. Once you forgave someone for what Twilight had done almost anything was on the table.
“We have that in common. I still can’t believe I can keep up with Twilight to any degree. The difference in power is… Disturbing. I mean Nightmare Moon was an example of everyone having to face that kind of force.” Starlight Glimmer said happy to brag about how amazing she was at magic, and restore some of her ego.
“How is she?” Moon Dancer blurted out.
“Oh fine. Saddle Arabia is appeased, and today she just has a new library to inaugurate. Things have been kind of slow lately. Did you know she sleeps more than two hours sometimes?” Starlight Glimmer said jokingly.
Moon Dancer shook off the topic she wasn’t here to talk about Twilight, but to give her suggestion a shot.
“Enough about her. I can’t spend my life chasing after someone who doesn’t want to share their life.” Moon Dancer said breathing out.
“Care to I don’t know come in? Or go somewhere?” Starlight Glimmer asked feeling odd having this kind of conversation outside of the door.
Moon Dancer seemed to think for a moment.
“I have this list of things I wanted to do with Twilight, and since I’m getting over her I thought that maybe you’d want to some of them.” Moon Dancer suggested apparently seeing her as a replacement.
“That depends on what it is.” Starlight Glimmer said always wanting terms, and conditions to come with any agreement.
Without a whole village of obedient followers between you, and an aggressor anypony could be intimidating. Especially someone like Moon Dancer who seemed like a cornered animal.
“Oh so, if I want to do something it’s a problem? Why can’t anypony trust me?” Moon Dancer asked stuffing a note of all the activities back into a pouch she was carrying.
“Because to be frank the only things I know about you are that you worry a lot, if not too much about your friends?” Starlight Glimmer asked feeling somewhat guilty for lying about that.
It sounded better than her being a leaking barrel of complaints, and self pitious whining anyway.
“Oh… How does sitting under a tree, and reading shoulder to shoulder sound?” Moon Dancer asked seeming almost ridiculous.
“Let me guess I need to touch you so you don’t feel bad about nobody else doing it.” Starlight Glimmer asked sickened by the idea that she would just buddy up with anypony.
“I- Even if, do you want to be alone, and disgusting for the rest of your life? Hide everything about you just to minimize the places they can get to you with?” Moon Dancer challenged.
“Come on in for a moment.” Starlight Glimmer said having settled on a plan on how to dispose of her.
“What am I an embarrassment? Not to be seen with?” Moon Dancer hissed.
“No I will just hold you, and brush your mane, if you can take that.” Starlight Glimmer said calmly.
“Why wouldn’t I be able to?” Moon Dancer asked following the invitation.
“Oh you’ll do just fine.” Starlight Glimmer said with practiced caged enthusiasm placing her on a couch.
“Now take off that sweater, and let your mane flow. I’ll help, if you want.” Starlight Glimmer said calmly.
Moon dancer pretty much pulled all of it off immediately. Driven by fear more than anything. It was obvious she was very self conscious about it, even more so with someone she didn’t know terribly well.
“Now I’ll put one hoof on your shoulder.” Starlight glimmer cautioned, as Moon Dancer twitched staring at her other hoof intimidated by where it might go.
“Close your eyes my dear Moon Dancer. I like to do this for all my friends.” Starlight Glimmer said that much being true, she seriously wondered why she had never succumbed to any immoral ideas during her stint as a commune leader.
Then again if the muffins, cloaks, and conversations had been anything to go by she hadn’t missed anything, and besides she wasn’t a monster. She was just very amoral. The ends had justified everything.
As she placed her hoof over Moon Dancer’s exposed belly the otherwise so domineering pony shivered.
“Are you cold? Would you like a blanket, it does get drafty in here sometimes.” Starlight Glimmer asked feeling a bit concerned, this wasn’t even anything yet.
Moon Dancer shook her head unable to open her eyes.
“You are right, we don’t know each other well enough to be trapped under the same blanket.” Starlight Glimmer said enjoying hovering up the comb making it slide just a little over the crystal tabletop so Moon dancer was well aware she was picking it up.
As the teeth of the comb pierced her disorderly mane Moon Dancer gave a shriek, and freed herself.
“What is wrong with you?” Moon Dancer shrieked.
“No. I was just holding you, and brushing your mane. Look Moon Dancer you feel disgusting, because Twilight neglected you. Yet you can’t stop feeling that way, because you can’t have anyone prove to you that it just isn’t the case.
You are suffering neurotic insanity.” Starlight Glimmer said giving a slight yawn.
“Oh I’m insane? You just held me just like that, and you just touched me! Nobody else does that!” Moon Dancer ranted getting only a giggle.
Starlight Glimmer finally felt some joy back in her life, as soon as somepony started claiming they weren’t crazy you had already won.
“Does that change your problem though? If Twilight came in right now, and ordered you to only spend time with her, and then sat you down in this very spot would you feel safe?” Starlight Glimmer asked calmly.
“I… I don’t… I hope you die!” Moon Dancer shouted galloping off with the comb still in her hair past an exhausted looking Twilight.
“What in the hay?” Twilight remarked after the door slammed behind her.
“Nothing that didn’t need to be done.” Starlight Glimmer said feeling the rush of that kind of sentiment.
“What did you do?” Twilight almost yelled at her.
“Oh I gave her some exposure therapy. Your neglect paired with her passive personality has given her a hatred of her own body, mixed with a belief that you hold the key to alleviate her suffering.
I used a bit of pretend to help her see that.” Starlight Glimmer said pretty confident this was a textbook case.
“Oh, and who advises that kind of crazy? Therapy is supposed to help ponies, not make them want to kill you!” Twilight criticized beyond disappointed.
“Princess Miamore Candanza ‘Diseases of the metaphorical heart’ volume two. She wrote volume one when she was still good old Cadence believe it, or not. She is a really underrated authority on mental health. Mostly because she never published her findings due to a lack of sample size. One mare can only sample so much after all.” Starlight Glimmer said calmly.
Those were basically the only non magic focused books she had ever bothered to read, because she had wanted to know how to weaponize love.
“Oh so we are taking advice from...” Twilight shut it questioning royalty now wouldn’t help her cause.
“She will be fine. Once she realizes what I said was true she will feel a Petite Mort of her thought processes, and feel right as rain. Of course once that wears off she will track me down even, if I run away.” Starlight Glimmer said enjoying the little mess she was in now quite a bit.
“Don’t tell me Cadence actually wrote that.” Twilight asked worried sick about so many things.
“It was never really published. She gifted some to princess Celestia. She can write what she likes, and I will make it up to the both of them I promise.” Starlight Glimmer said still basking in the glow.
“Oh no you make it up to Moon Dancer, but for crying out loud leave Cadence alone. This is all your fault.” Twilight ordered.
“Yeah… Look I kind of get weird under social pressure. I may, or may not have impersonated you so I could then offload her on me, and then I forced her to face her mental problems… Look I’m a really awful friendship pony.” Starlight Glimmer said.
“Well you will fix this, this is literally your only friendship lesson you’ll get here. Until you start admitting that you can’t do something.” Twilight said brushing her aside with her hoof.
The castle seemed oddly empty now. Starlight Glimmer sighed.
Author's Note
By all means comment, and tell me how this worked out. I've written before despite dyslexia, and a shitty attention span.
I'd just like to know if this site is a fit for me standards wise.