Enflamed Applesby PandaisQdChaptersEnflamed Apples, Part 1: Oloria, ho!Enflamed Apples part 2: Inspire for hire!Enflamed Apples part 3: Soarin high to heaven!Enflamed Apples part 4: Rainbored of Soarin and 6 1/2 years laterChapter 5: First dayUpdate and Apology (5.5)Enflamed Apples, Part 1: Oloria, ho!Note:Most ideas were taken from Run, Dapple, Run by tawniify Spike and Applejack ran from the police "Honey," Applejack said to her scaly husband "Yeah Applejack?" "I think it's coming..." "WHA-WHAT??!?!?! N-NOW!?" Twilight and Applebloom both shouted "APPLEJACK AND SPIKE JUST TAKE THE LEFTOVER 10 YEAR CHARGES AND YOU'LL BE GOOD!" Applejack collapsed on the ground and screamed. "IT'S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!" "Wait Twilight, Applejack is pregnant, you can't just arrest a pony whose pregnant!" Twilight and Applebloom stopped in their tracks, This caused Applebloom to bump into Twilight "What's the hold-up?" Applebloom asked in an annoyed fashion "He's right... we can't its illegal in equestria..." Twilight replied, "Let's get her to the hospital Applebloom" Applejack struggled on the bed while bawling from the pain "Hang in there AJ." Spike said, trying to comfort his beloved. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG" Then the baby was out, ya know, because of logic and shit! "Hmmm." Spike said wondering what to name the foal. Applejack had it "How about Impale" Pinkie pie came from under the hospital bed "HAHAHA, like the first part of this fan-fiction!!" They looked at Pinkie with blank faces, and she said ''Uhh, Ummm, just a hunch?" Spike sighed and nodded in agreement "I love it, honey." Applebloom walked away with tears in her eyes "Applebloom?" Twilight asked Applebloom replied, "Go on and do whatever the hell Y'all want to, I dun think I can arrest my sister..." "But Applebloom..." Twilight started, "AS NOT ONLY THE LEADER OF THE CMC BUT ALSO THE BOSS OF THE PONY DEFENSE ASSOCIATION I CAN ARREST YOU TOO!" Applebloom bitterly shouted, before storming off in anger, tears stinging in her eyes. Twilight backed off knowing the stress Applebloom was currently going through, Twilight saw Spike as her brother, now both Applebloom and Twilight would lose a sibling. "Watch your back you two," Twilight started "The others are still looking for you, STAY LOW!" Applejack and Spike were camping out when Applejack awoke to a nasty smell "Honey, check the baby" "It's clean..." Spike replied, sounding exhausted. Applejack screamed, noticing the glowing yellow eyes above her and the Draco-pony baby. "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRRRRR WOLF!" Spike, once again yet differently, saved Applejack from the intimidating and alarming timberwolf. Spike took a deep breath and burned it to a crisp Spike chuckled, "AJ, You a'right?" Jokingly AJ, did well (cough) this-->, Spike kinda sorta maybe liked it and chortled. The next morning they un-pitched their tent and headed down to the next country it was dubbed "Oloria." It's princess was "Princess Aspen." They only had Unicorns and Earth ponies, excluding anypony who is a pegasus that had moved there and the prince, who was the brother of Princess Aspen, Prince Maplewood, was the only pegasus so he had to do the weather while Princess Aspen took care of both sun and moon since Oloria had opposite views of Equestria . Like Equestria, it was a land filled with magic and harmony. "Ai'm just excited they love trees there, Trees like Apple, Oak, Elm. Birch, Rowan, Juniper, Sycamore, Kukui, and of course Aspens!" Applejack started,0 "Ah also heard they had their own elements of harmony whom of which are Burning fountain, Illumise, Sonta Hooves, Embera, Pop Rockz, Cotton Mixy, and Poploli!" Spike then burped out a letter which stated, "Dear Princess Aspen, We have sent two of my close friends, Applejack and Spike, to be sent to your region, We heard your laws and none are against Insanity Murder, please be accepting of the couple - two of the five princesses of Equestria, Luna and Twilight." Applejack got the letter to the princess. "I see..." The other elements were very welcoming. Cotton Mixy announced that, like Applejack, he was the element of honesty, Illumise said that he was magic, and also said Embera was loyalty, Poploli was laughter, Sonta Hooves was kindness, and Pop Rockz was generosity. "What about the other one?" Applejack asked, pointing at the blue half changling alicorn pony, Burning Fountain's mom got raped by a changling and since her mom was a pegasus, her mom's dad a unicorn and she inherited the changling wings. "O-oh... I'm the element of Inspiration..." Prince Maplewood noticed their confusion, "Oh, we have seven elements here!" Applejack and Spike gasped, This caused the baby to copy them and did a baby like giggle gasp. Author's Note the best pony the bestest ponyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Enflamed Apples part 2: Inspire for hire!Author's Note Please dont hate because, AI DUN GIV A FUUCK Enflamed Apples part 2: Inspire for hire! Spike asked the first question, "Element of inspiration?" "Oh right, We feel that you need to inspire your friends, so thus, the seventh element." Princess Aspen started, "'We have a house built for you two and the baby." Prince Maplewood finished for Princess Aspen. "I love your respect for trees!" Applejack blurted out. Impale and Spike laughed, and AJ chuckled and blushed. Cotton Mixy piped up, "So I hear you're the element of honesty, just like me!" "Eeyup!" Everypony laughed, including Burning Fountain, a blue alicorn pony with an orange mane and bug like wings along with a fountain cutiemark with orange and blue fluids shooting out. Illumi. a green earth pony with a dark green mane, and Cotton Mixy, a pink pegasus who moved to Oloria from Trottingham with a light pink and blue mane, were glaring at each-other but in an interesting way. Cotton Mixy said, "Come on I'll take you to your cabin it's near my place, a cotton candy farm!" Spike was weirded out by this, "A cotton candy farm?" "Thanks to meeee!" Poploli shouted Poploli was a pink unicorn with a teal mane. Her cutie mark, a pink and blue lollipop. "It all happened twenty-five years ago, when I was a filly, I invented lollipop flavored cotton candy seeds!" Embera and Poprockz entered the room. Both of them were orange earth ponies but Embera was on the lighter side and had an orange mane with flames for his cutie mark. Poprockz had a purple mohawk and a sparkly microphone as her cutiemark. Plus Embera had gray around his mouth along with two black lines on his tail. Poprockz also had purple hooves. Then AJ, Spike, Cotton, and Impale all left for the cabin. Cotton introduced Applejack and family to his sister, Sweet Cheeks a purple pegasus with a teal mane with magenta scrunchies, and her friends, Microload, who is a yellow earth pony with purple hair who's older sister is Poprockz, and Periodic Stables a green unicorn who's older brother is Illumise/ Illumi. Sonta, the element of kindness, was walking by so he dropped by to introduce himself. "Hello I am Sonta Hooves, relative of Derpy Hooves." Periodic was staring at Applejack, and being jealous of Spike, but he knew he was too young so he ran off. Sweet Cheeks apologized for this and said "I'm sorry bout Periodic, hes' into blondies." Applejack laughed and said "It's alright sugarcube I know I felt so much love towards Spike that I was too nervous to tell him after he saved me from a timberwolf 4 years back, then when I did say it to his face I felt like I did it then I did him..." Spike blushed and Applejack did a face-hoof "Buck." AJ and family went in their cabin for some well deserved rest. Enflamed Apples part 3: Soarin high to heaven!Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.Enflamed Apples part 4: Rainbored of Soarin and 6 1/2 years laterSoarin, at last, had reached heaven. Rainbow saw him and gawked, "Soarin what the bucking hell are you doing here?!" Soarin responded with confusion, "You said, and I bucking quote, To tell you that AJ thought I was a changeling, dude, she has a child if you do this, it is so over! Make the right choice, Come see me or lose me forever you clod!" Rainbow did a face hoof but it failed, she IS a ghost. "I meant to come see me at my house you clod!" "YOU COULD HAVE SPECIFIED THAT YOU LUNA DAMNED SHITTY PERIDOT IMMITATING BITCH!" Soarin covered his mouth, appalled at what he just said to his mare. "Rainbow I-" Rainbow Dash cut him off, "We're so over..." "Rainbow wai-" "Don't even try it Soarin, no you're WHOREIN!" Rainbow floated off trying to hide the tears stinging her eyes Soarin was devastated... Applejack woke up around 6:30 AM the next day and looked at a picture of herself, Spike, and all 5 of her friends. Her emerald eyes met Rainbow Dash and she cried. This woke up Spike, "AJ, what's wrong?" Applejack embraced Spike in a tight hug, "I didn't mean to kill her Spike!" Spike sat Applejack on the bed, it was a nice bed. It had a soft mattress and a nice crimson paint finish. Spike tried to comfort Applejack by talking soothingly to her, "It's okay AJ, I know you didn't mean to!" "Yes but, Twilight, Soarin, Bulk, The cadencing spa sisters, and even my own damn sister don't even know that!" Applejack sobbed into her husband's shoulder, knowing she had killed two ponies! Even if Soarin committed suicide, the farm pony caused it by accidentally killing Rainbow! Spike kissed Applejack square on the lips, she tasted some crystal-like flavor since Spike was a dragon who ate crystals and gems. Applejack returned the kiss with passion trying to soothe her pain. Applejack blushed and broke the passionate kiss for a moment "I love you so much, Spike, I don't know what'd I do without you..." "Well you helped me when she dumped me for Fancy Pants, I realized you could actually be there for me..." "Before we left for here, I saw her break up with Fancy, telling him she had a girlfriend..." "Oh, who is it?" Applejacck snorted thinking this was hilarious, "Celestia!" Applejack and Spike broke into a quiet laughter since they did not want to wake up the baby. Despite their efforts, the baby, Impale, started crying. Then they smelt a rancid smell, coming from Impale. "I got this Spike." Applejack lifted Impale up onto the soft changing table and unstrapped the messy diaper from Impale and tossed it into the trash which Spike had opened up. She got a new one from the closet and strapped it on, but despite her changing him just moments ago, the baby decided to spring a leak. "Aww hayseed, Impale you little stinker!" Impale cooed and giggled and spoke his first words, "Mama." Applejack and Spike gasped, their child just said their first word! Applejack repeated the steps she had previously done. This time the Draco-pony had finished his business. Spike came over and kissed Applejack on the cheek as she stroked the Draco-pony's mane. 6 1/2 years later Impale was now old enough to speak full sentences and use a toilet, Spike and Applejack were so proud of their son. Impale just woke up from his new bed, it looked like a rock but was soft as a waterbed. "Hey Mommy," Impale said, "What's for breakfast, I bet it's Appul related!" Impale may be able to speak full sentences but his pronunciation was a bit off. "It's cereal, applejacks!" "Figures," Spike said sipping some coffee, "You always buy that cereal AJ." Applejack blushed and Impale giggled as he sat down next to his father at the table. Applejack poured Impale some cereal and added some milk. Impale began ravenously digging in. Applejack walked over to the other seat beside Spike and gave him a kiss before pouring him a bowl of cereal, along with one for herself. Applejack then sat down and started to eat her cereal. "Whatcha reading sugarcube," Applejack asked Spike. "Job applications," Spike replied, "I do need to make us some bits if we ever want to re-stock up on things like food and toilet paper." "Well, make sure you pick a job ya' like." "Ya, I kn-" "Hey, a job working at a library!" "That's perfect Dad, you used to work at one!" Impale said with excitement "It says to call 000-0001..." Applejack implied looking at the paper. "I'll call it right now, I'm so excited!" Spike dialed the number into the phone, it buzzed. "Hello?" Spike asked, "Is this the library" "Spike? This is Burning Fountain..." "Burning Fountain?" Applejack wasn't surprised. "I've known so many alicorn librarians, well just one." Impale was curious, "What was her name, Mommy?" "She's Spike's sister figure," Applejack replied, "Her name was Twilight Sparkle." "That's a bad name for a librarian..." Spike laughed and milk shot out his nose, after hanging up the phone of course. Impale laughed, Applejack was not very amused, "Spike, not in front of our child!" Spike apologized but was trying to hold in laughs, "Hehe, I'm sorry AJ, that was just so funny!" Applejack chuckled, "I guess it was kinda funny." They all laughed as Spike went to the library. Spike knocked on the wooden door. "Hey Burning Fountain, it's me, Spike!" Spike was surprised to see Sonta Hooves answer the door. "Hey Spike, I'll be your co-worker if you get the job." "Neat, that's cool." "I'll get Burning, HEYYYYYYYYYY BAAAAABE!" Spike covered his ears, Sonta was a loud stallion. "Coming, dearest!" "Oh, hey Spike, you're hired!" "Wut ._." Sonta laughed, "She always hires, no matter what." Burning Fountain growled quite loudly, even for her ambivalent self, "Unless they're a CHANGLING!" Spike's anger flickered in as he growled at that word, Sonta growled as well. "Congrats Spike," Burning said, "You start in four days on Monday, today is Friday after all" "Great!" Spike responded. Sonta specified "We're closed on the weekends and all holiday breaks matching up to the teacher's, April Juneiper, schedule. Spike got home and told Applejack the great news. "Oh honey, that's so great!" Applejack kissed Spike passionately on the lips. Impale cringed. Chapter 5: First dayAuthor's Note We'll say bye bye to Rarity the worst pony for good. and we'll say HIHI to Spike's new job where something... unexpected happens. Chapter 5: First day Today was Spike's first day on the job but little did he know the biggest guild of the PDA was after him, a team of three. He was stocking some books when all of the sudden the windows burst. Spike knew someone was after him so he hid followed by Sonta and his girl, Burning. "The buck is going on Spike, are they after you?!" Sonta said, demanding answers. Spike growled, "Yes they're after me, it's not like they're after YOU!" "Need a massage?" Two of them said. Spike determined these ponies to be Aloe and Lotus. "Spikey Wikey?" Spike's eyes widened, at first with shock, then with anger. Spike quickly turned to his bosses "You ever fight ponies before?" They both shook their heads. "Well, time to learn!" (Background shatters like glass like in FF10) Spike quickly explained "Ok, I am considered a mage due to my breath. I'll attack Aloe with my Flame attack. Spike --> Magic --> Aloe Aloe screams with the burning pain. (100-20=80) Sonta was nervous "Ok... what do I do?" "You're a warrior so select Attack rather than Magic." Sonta --> Attack --> Buck you --> Lotus (100-15=85) Fountain was scared out of her mind "But that white pony looks nice and oddly... seductive. Rarity --> Magic ---> Attract -> Spike. But it failed! "Your charms don't work on me anymore Rarity!" Spike shouted bitterly "Hmph! Clearly, you've lost your taste in mares, you pedophile!" "YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE YOU FUCKING GOLD DIGGER" (Sonta and Fountain use flee) But it succeeded! Spike --> Sp Attack, aka most powerful one, Flame claws --> Rarity (100-80=20) "OWWWWWWWWCH, Look what you did to my hair!!!" "Oh I'm sorry, did I ruin your 3rd base game with the sun?" "You know darling, I WAS going to suggest they keep you, OW (Burn damage 20-10=10,) out but now youre going to jail! Locust and Aloe! Locust and Aloe --> Special Attack --> Wax massage of DEATH --> Spike (Critical hit! 100-99=1) Spike screeched. Spike --> Item --> Saphire --> Spike --> +50 hp! (1+50=51) Rarity --> Item --> Pedo call --> Spke "Pedo!" But nopony gave a shit... Spike --> Multi-Attack (Can be used to attack up to 3 ponies) ---> Spa Spectrum Guild --> -80 damage Aloe: OOF (80-80 is 0) Locust: OOF NOT A CRITICAL (85-90 = -5) Rarity: X.X (Extreme overkill {20-80 =-60}) Spike did not care he just killed Rarity, gold diggers deserve to die. "Well, you don't see that at every first day at work," Spike whistled and walked away to home "A-are they gon- HOLY SHIT A DEAD PONY" Burning screamed. Update and Apology (5.5)Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Enflamed Apples, Part 1: Oloria, ho!Note:Most ideas were taken from Run, Dapple, Run by tawniify Spike and Applejack ran from the police "Honey," Applejack said to her scaly husband "Yeah Applejack?" "I think it's coming..." "WHA-WHAT??!?!?! N-NOW!?" Twilight and Applebloom both shouted "APPLEJACK AND SPIKE JUST TAKE THE LEFTOVER 10 YEAR CHARGES AND YOU'LL BE GOOD!" Applejack collapsed on the ground and screamed. "IT'S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!" "Wait Twilight, Applejack is pregnant, you can't just arrest a pony whose pregnant!" Twilight and Applebloom stopped in their tracks, This caused Applebloom to bump into Twilight "What's the hold-up?" Applebloom asked in an annoyed fashion "He's right... we can't its illegal in equestria..." Twilight replied, "Let's get her to the hospital Applebloom" Applejack struggled on the bed while bawling from the pain "Hang in there AJ." Spike said, trying to comfort his beloved. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG" Then the baby was out, ya know, because of logic and shit! "Hmmm." Spike said wondering what to name the foal. Applejack had it "How about Impale" Pinkie pie came from under the hospital bed "HAHAHA, like the first part of this fan-fiction!!" They looked at Pinkie with blank faces, and she said ''Uhh, Ummm, just a hunch?" Spike sighed and nodded in agreement "I love it, honey." Applebloom walked away with tears in her eyes "Applebloom?" Twilight asked Applebloom replied, "Go on and do whatever the hell Y'all want to, I dun think I can arrest my sister..." "But Applebloom..." Twilight started, "AS NOT ONLY THE LEADER OF THE CMC BUT ALSO THE BOSS OF THE PONY DEFENSE ASSOCIATION I CAN ARREST YOU TOO!" Applebloom bitterly shouted, before storming off in anger, tears stinging in her eyes. Twilight backed off knowing the stress Applebloom was currently going through, Twilight saw Spike as her brother, now both Applebloom and Twilight would lose a sibling. "Watch your back you two," Twilight started "The others are still looking for you, STAY LOW!" Applejack and Spike were camping out when Applejack awoke to a nasty smell "Honey, check the baby" "It's clean..." Spike replied, sounding exhausted. Applejack screamed, noticing the glowing yellow eyes above her and the Draco-pony baby. "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRRRRR WOLF!" Spike, once again yet differently, saved Applejack from the intimidating and alarming timberwolf. Spike took a deep breath and burned it to a crisp Spike chuckled, "AJ, You a'right?" Jokingly AJ, did well (cough) this-->, Spike kinda sorta maybe liked it and chortled. The next morning they un-pitched their tent and headed down to the next country it was dubbed "Oloria." It's princess was "Princess Aspen." They only had Unicorns and Earth ponies, excluding anypony who is a pegasus that had moved there and the prince, who was the brother of Princess Aspen, Prince Maplewood, was the only pegasus so he had to do the weather while Princess Aspen took care of both sun and moon since Oloria had opposite views of Equestria . Like Equestria, it was a land filled with magic and harmony. "Ai'm just excited they love trees there, Trees like Apple, Oak, Elm. Birch, Rowan, Juniper, Sycamore, Kukui, and of course Aspens!" Applejack started,0 "Ah also heard they had their own elements of harmony whom of which are Burning fountain, Illumise, Sonta Hooves, Embera, Pop Rockz, Cotton Mixy, and Poploli!" Spike then burped out a letter which stated, "Dear Princess Aspen, We have sent two of my close friends, Applejack and Spike, to be sent to your region, We heard your laws and none are against Insanity Murder, please be accepting of the couple - two of the five princesses of Equestria, Luna and Twilight." Applejack got the letter to the princess. "I see..." The other elements were very welcoming. Cotton Mixy announced that, like Applejack, he was the element of honesty, Illumise said that he was magic, and also said Embera was loyalty, Poploli was laughter, Sonta Hooves was kindness, and Pop Rockz was generosity. "What about the other one?" Applejack asked, pointing at the blue half changling alicorn pony, Burning Fountain's mom got raped by a changling and since her mom was a pegasus, her mom's dad a unicorn and she inherited the changling wings. "O-oh... I'm the element of Inspiration..." Prince Maplewood noticed their confusion, "Oh, we have seven elements here!" Applejack and Spike gasped, This caused the baby to copy them and did a baby like giggle gasp. Author's Note the best pony the bestest ponyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Enflamed Apples part 2: Inspire for hire!Author's Note Please dont hate because, AI DUN GIV A FUUCK Enflamed Apples part 2: Inspire for hire! Spike asked the first question, "Element of inspiration?" "Oh right, We feel that you need to inspire your friends, so thus, the seventh element." Princess Aspen started, "'We have a house built for you two and the baby." Prince Maplewood finished for Princess Aspen. "I love your respect for trees!" Applejack blurted out. Impale and Spike laughed, and AJ chuckled and blushed. Cotton Mixy piped up, "So I hear you're the element of honesty, just like me!" "Eeyup!" Everypony laughed, including Burning Fountain, a blue alicorn pony with an orange mane and bug like wings along with a fountain cutiemark with orange and blue fluids shooting out. Illumi. a green earth pony with a dark green mane, and Cotton Mixy, a pink pegasus who moved to Oloria from Trottingham with a light pink and blue mane, were glaring at each-other but in an interesting way. Cotton Mixy said, "Come on I'll take you to your cabin it's near my place, a cotton candy farm!" Spike was weirded out by this, "A cotton candy farm?" "Thanks to meeee!" Poploli shouted Poploli was a pink unicorn with a teal mane. Her cutie mark, a pink and blue lollipop. "It all happened twenty-five years ago, when I was a filly, I invented lollipop flavored cotton candy seeds!" Embera and Poprockz entered the room. Both of them were orange earth ponies but Embera was on the lighter side and had an orange mane with flames for his cutie mark. Poprockz had a purple mohawk and a sparkly microphone as her cutiemark. Plus Embera had gray around his mouth along with two black lines on his tail. Poprockz also had purple hooves. Then AJ, Spike, Cotton, and Impale all left for the cabin. Cotton introduced Applejack and family to his sister, Sweet Cheeks a purple pegasus with a teal mane with magenta scrunchies, and her friends, Microload, who is a yellow earth pony with purple hair who's older sister is Poprockz, and Periodic Stables a green unicorn who's older brother is Illumise/ Illumi. Sonta, the element of kindness, was walking by so he dropped by to introduce himself. "Hello I am Sonta Hooves, relative of Derpy Hooves." Periodic was staring at Applejack, and being jealous of Spike, but he knew he was too young so he ran off. Sweet Cheeks apologized for this and said "I'm sorry bout Periodic, hes' into blondies." Applejack laughed and said "It's alright sugarcube I know I felt so much love towards Spike that I was too nervous to tell him after he saved me from a timberwolf 4 years back, then when I did say it to his face I felt like I did it then I did him..." Spike blushed and Applejack did a face-hoof "Buck." AJ and family went in their cabin for some well deserved rest.
Enflamed Apples part 3: Soarin high to heaven!Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Enflamed Apples part 4: Rainbored of Soarin and 6 1/2 years laterSoarin, at last, had reached heaven. Rainbow saw him and gawked, "Soarin what the bucking hell are you doing here?!" Soarin responded with confusion, "You said, and I bucking quote, To tell you that AJ thought I was a changeling, dude, she has a child if you do this, it is so over! Make the right choice, Come see me or lose me forever you clod!" Rainbow did a face hoof but it failed, she IS a ghost. "I meant to come see me at my house you clod!" "YOU COULD HAVE SPECIFIED THAT YOU LUNA DAMNED SHITTY PERIDOT IMMITATING BITCH!" Soarin covered his mouth, appalled at what he just said to his mare. "Rainbow I-" Rainbow Dash cut him off, "We're so over..." "Rainbow wai-" "Don't even try it Soarin, no you're WHOREIN!" Rainbow floated off trying to hide the tears stinging her eyes Soarin was devastated... Applejack woke up around 6:30 AM the next day and looked at a picture of herself, Spike, and all 5 of her friends. Her emerald eyes met Rainbow Dash and she cried. This woke up Spike, "AJ, what's wrong?" Applejack embraced Spike in a tight hug, "I didn't mean to kill her Spike!" Spike sat Applejack on the bed, it was a nice bed. It had a soft mattress and a nice crimson paint finish. Spike tried to comfort Applejack by talking soothingly to her, "It's okay AJ, I know you didn't mean to!" "Yes but, Twilight, Soarin, Bulk, The cadencing spa sisters, and even my own damn sister don't even know that!" Applejack sobbed into her husband's shoulder, knowing she had killed two ponies! Even if Soarin committed suicide, the farm pony caused it by accidentally killing Rainbow! Spike kissed Applejack square on the lips, she tasted some crystal-like flavor since Spike was a dragon who ate crystals and gems. Applejack returned the kiss with passion trying to soothe her pain. Applejack blushed and broke the passionate kiss for a moment "I love you so much, Spike, I don't know what'd I do without you..." "Well you helped me when she dumped me for Fancy Pants, I realized you could actually be there for me..." "Before we left for here, I saw her break up with Fancy, telling him she had a girlfriend..." "Oh, who is it?" Applejacck snorted thinking this was hilarious, "Celestia!" Applejack and Spike broke into a quiet laughter since they did not want to wake up the baby. Despite their efforts, the baby, Impale, started crying. Then they smelt a rancid smell, coming from Impale. "I got this Spike." Applejack lifted Impale up onto the soft changing table and unstrapped the messy diaper from Impale and tossed it into the trash which Spike had opened up. She got a new one from the closet and strapped it on, but despite her changing him just moments ago, the baby decided to spring a leak. "Aww hayseed, Impale you little stinker!" Impale cooed and giggled and spoke his first words, "Mama." Applejack and Spike gasped, their child just said their first word! Applejack repeated the steps she had previously done. This time the Draco-pony had finished his business. Spike came over and kissed Applejack on the cheek as she stroked the Draco-pony's mane. 6 1/2 years later Impale was now old enough to speak full sentences and use a toilet, Spike and Applejack were so proud of their son. Impale just woke up from his new bed, it looked like a rock but was soft as a waterbed. "Hey Mommy," Impale said, "What's for breakfast, I bet it's Appul related!" Impale may be able to speak full sentences but his pronunciation was a bit off. "It's cereal, applejacks!" "Figures," Spike said sipping some coffee, "You always buy that cereal AJ." Applejack blushed and Impale giggled as he sat down next to his father at the table. Applejack poured Impale some cereal and added some milk. Impale began ravenously digging in. Applejack walked over to the other seat beside Spike and gave him a kiss before pouring him a bowl of cereal, along with one for herself. Applejack then sat down and started to eat her cereal. "Whatcha reading sugarcube," Applejack asked Spike. "Job applications," Spike replied, "I do need to make us some bits if we ever want to re-stock up on things like food and toilet paper." "Well, make sure you pick a job ya' like." "Ya, I kn-" "Hey, a job working at a library!" "That's perfect Dad, you used to work at one!" Impale said with excitement "It says to call 000-0001..." Applejack implied looking at the paper. "I'll call it right now, I'm so excited!" Spike dialed the number into the phone, it buzzed. "Hello?" Spike asked, "Is this the library" "Spike? This is Burning Fountain..." "Burning Fountain?" Applejack wasn't surprised. "I've known so many alicorn librarians, well just one." Impale was curious, "What was her name, Mommy?" "She's Spike's sister figure," Applejack replied, "Her name was Twilight Sparkle." "That's a bad name for a librarian..." Spike laughed and milk shot out his nose, after hanging up the phone of course. Impale laughed, Applejack was not very amused, "Spike, not in front of our child!" Spike apologized but was trying to hold in laughs, "Hehe, I'm sorry AJ, that was just so funny!" Applejack chuckled, "I guess it was kinda funny." They all laughed as Spike went to the library. Spike knocked on the wooden door. "Hey Burning Fountain, it's me, Spike!" Spike was surprised to see Sonta Hooves answer the door. "Hey Spike, I'll be your co-worker if you get the job." "Neat, that's cool." "I'll get Burning, HEYYYYYYYYYY BAAAAABE!" Spike covered his ears, Sonta was a loud stallion. "Coming, dearest!" "Oh, hey Spike, you're hired!" "Wut ._." Sonta laughed, "She always hires, no matter what." Burning Fountain growled quite loudly, even for her ambivalent self, "Unless they're a CHANGLING!" Spike's anger flickered in as he growled at that word, Sonta growled as well. "Congrats Spike," Burning said, "You start in four days on Monday, today is Friday after all" "Great!" Spike responded. Sonta specified "We're closed on the weekends and all holiday breaks matching up to the teacher's, April Juneiper, schedule. Spike got home and told Applejack the great news. "Oh honey, that's so great!" Applejack kissed Spike passionately on the lips. Impale cringed.
Chapter 5: First dayAuthor's Note We'll say bye bye to Rarity the worst pony for good. and we'll say HIHI to Spike's new job where something... unexpected happens. Chapter 5: First day Today was Spike's first day on the job but little did he know the biggest guild of the PDA was after him, a team of three. He was stocking some books when all of the sudden the windows burst. Spike knew someone was after him so he hid followed by Sonta and his girl, Burning. "The buck is going on Spike, are they after you?!" Sonta said, demanding answers. Spike growled, "Yes they're after me, it's not like they're after YOU!" "Need a massage?" Two of them said. Spike determined these ponies to be Aloe and Lotus. "Spikey Wikey?" Spike's eyes widened, at first with shock, then with anger. Spike quickly turned to his bosses "You ever fight ponies before?" They both shook their heads. "Well, time to learn!" (Background shatters like glass like in FF10) Spike quickly explained "Ok, I am considered a mage due to my breath. I'll attack Aloe with my Flame attack. Spike --> Magic --> Aloe Aloe screams with the burning pain. (100-20=80) Sonta was nervous "Ok... what do I do?" "You're a warrior so select Attack rather than Magic." Sonta --> Attack --> Buck you --> Lotus (100-15=85) Fountain was scared out of her mind "But that white pony looks nice and oddly... seductive. Rarity --> Magic ---> Attract -> Spike. But it failed! "Your charms don't work on me anymore Rarity!" Spike shouted bitterly "Hmph! Clearly, you've lost your taste in mares, you pedophile!" "YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE YOU FUCKING GOLD DIGGER" (Sonta and Fountain use flee) But it succeeded! Spike --> Sp Attack, aka most powerful one, Flame claws --> Rarity (100-80=20) "OWWWWWWWWCH, Look what you did to my hair!!!" "Oh I'm sorry, did I ruin your 3rd base game with the sun?" "You know darling, I WAS going to suggest they keep you, OW (Burn damage 20-10=10,) out but now youre going to jail! Locust and Aloe! Locust and Aloe --> Special Attack --> Wax massage of DEATH --> Spike (Critical hit! 100-99=1) Spike screeched. Spike --> Item --> Saphire --> Spike --> +50 hp! (1+50=51) Rarity --> Item --> Pedo call --> Spke "Pedo!" But nopony gave a shit... Spike --> Multi-Attack (Can be used to attack up to 3 ponies) ---> Spa Spectrum Guild --> -80 damage Aloe: OOF (80-80 is 0) Locust: OOF NOT A CRITICAL (85-90 = -5) Rarity: X.X (Extreme overkill {20-80 =-60}) Spike did not care he just killed Rarity, gold diggers deserve to die. "Well, you don't see that at every first day at work," Spike whistled and walked away to home "A-are they gon- HOLY SHIT A DEAD PONY" Burning screamed.
Update and Apology (5.5)Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
