Mr. Original in: Bridle Gossip

Chapters

"If you're concerned for someone, THEN DON'T STARE."
"Um... did you take something before bed...?"
"Ideal opinions are not proven facts!"
"I'm not as corrupt as that fox on TV!"

"If you're concerned for someone, THEN DON'T STARE."

Author's Note

You're not ready for this farce...

"If you're concerned for someone, THEN DON'T STARE."

Twilight, James, Spike, and Frag Cat were all sitting at the dining room table at the library, pouring themselves a bowl of oats for breakfast. Twilight levitated a carton of milk from the refrigerator while Spike got a reserve of small emerald shards to sprinkle into his own bowl. James took the box after them and poured himself some oats before handing the box to Frag Cat, who got ready to pour himself a bowl, but paused when he saw how much James had poured himself: roughly the same amount Twilight had-- a half a bowl. The bowls themselves were less than a foot wide in diameter and only a few inches tall.

"You're having a second bowl, right?" the puppycat asked James quietly. He frowned as James shot him a pointed glance, his expression difficult to read. Sighing quietly, he poured himself a bowl of cereal; James put some milk in his own bowl before eating.

After James chewed and swallowed his first bite, he spoke. "So, what's the agenda for today? Anything interesting you're planning to study?" he asked Twilight.

The unicorn smiled. "Well, actually my schedule for the week is actually pretty loose. So I was thinking of seeing if the girls wanted to do anything together today."

"Oh cool. That sounds good," he replied as she took a bite of cereal. Frag Cat could only nod in agreement, his mouth full of cereal. "Anything particular in mind?"

"Well, no, not really. Maybe we could have a picnic? I was hoping one of you or the girls would have an idea on what we could do...?" she trailed off, looking at him questioningly as she took another bite of cereal.

James shrugged. "Um... The... Ehhh... Yeah, I'm not really sure. I guess I'm not too familiar with Ponyville's entertainment locations. Frag Cat?" he asked as he looked at the puppycat, who had just put a spoonful of oats into his mouth.

The puppycat in question's eyes lit up before he swallowed the cereal without even chewing. Though his facial expression didn't change, it looked like it was really painful. He tapped his paw against his chin with a thoughtful look. "Well... when does the next rodeo start?" he asked eagerly, his tail swishing.

Twilight chuckled at Frag Cat's enthusiasm. "I think you'll have to ask Applejack about that one." She turned to the baby dragon who hadn't said much since everyone started eating. "What about you Spike? Any ideas?"

Spike, who seemed to be staring in James's direction, blinked upon his name being called. "Huh? Oh. I guess we could see a movie or something...," he scratched the back of his head. "Uh, James?" James's brow twitched as he looked up from his bowl. "Why are you eating your cereal with a fork?"

Twilight looked at the eating utensil James was using, and sure enough it was a fork, and not a spoon. She mentally asked herself how she didn't notice it earlier.

James smirked at the dragon. "Is that why you were so quiet? You had me worried for a second! But to answer your question, I like to be able to drink all the milk after I'm done eating the cereal. Not as enjoyable when you're scooping most of it up and eating it with your cereal."

"You know, that's actually pretty clever," Twilight smiled.

James smiled Cheerfully at the compliment. "Well, it's a little more difficult with brands whose cereal are smaller... but I really don't care, I enjoy it nonetheless."

"Besides," Frag Cat spoke up. "James eats almost everything with a fork. Ice cream, oatmeal, honey buns, sandwiches, potato chips, soup... the list goes on."

"He's right," James shrugged indifferently before continuing to eat his cereal.

"Well that's... different...," Spike said slowly.

Before anyone could continue the conversation, they heard knock on the door. "This is a library, you don't have to knock," Twilight called out." Frag Cat wasn't sure if whoever was on the outside could hear her, but his doubt was short-lived as they heard the door open.

"Where are you guys?" a male voice called out.

"We're in the the dining room, Blue Star," James called back.

The sound of footsteps got closer until they saw him enter the doorway to the dining room. "Um... 'sup?" he asked with an awkward smile.

"Hello, Blue Star!" Twilight smiled and waved, Spike following suit as Frag Cat leaned forward to see past James.

However, James only sighed, suddenly looking exasperated. "Alright, what did you do this time?" he asked flatly.

"I didn't do anything," Blue Star said defensively, failing to contain his growing smile. This was only a confirmation for James that he was hiding something. He wasn't very good at lying.

"What did you do?" James repeated, narrowing his eyes.

Blue Star's chuckled in resignation. "Alright alright. I... kind of unintentionally led your cousin to Equestria when I headed here," he explained, his uncertain smile turning into a grimace.

James stared blankly and blinked. "Oh. Well, I suppose whether or not that pisses me off depending on which cousin your talking about.

"Yyyyyeeeaahh...," Blue Star said slowly with a nervous smile and stepped to the right, no longer blocking the entrance to the dining room. A figure that was around James's height stepped in. He wore an orange hat and shirt, with black overalls and shoes, and a strange sight that was the grey bow tie that adorned his neck. Lastly, his hat was not marked with a letter, but a bold question mark.

His mouth remained closed. He didn't speak a single word, didn't make any noise other than him walking into the room. Usually being very quiet upon meeting someone they didn't initially know would indicate that they nervous or shy, but this person didn't look shy at all. Unexpected to everyone, but unsurprising to the other guys, he smirked, pulled out a tape recorder, and pressed a button that caused it to play a suspenseful tune.

Everyone blankly stared at the newcomer before James turned back to Blue Star and said with a deadpan, "Okay, you had every right to be nervous." He sighed and turned to the others. It looked like he had to do yet another introduction. "Guys, this is my cousin-- Delarious. Long intro short... I'm not gonna lie, I can't really describe him for you." He turned to his cousin. "Delarious, this is Spike the Dragon."

Delarious Cheerfully slid across the floor over to where Spike and Twilight sat. "Oh, that's real nice," he stuck out his hand.

"Uh... thanks?" Spike shook his hand.

"And this," James gestured to the unicorn next to the dragon, "is Twilight Sparkle."

Delarious looked at her quizzically before looking at James. "...Sparkleface?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Spike put his claws to his mouth as he tried to stifle a laugh. Not amused at her assistant, Twilight was going to politely correct Delarious, but James snorted and smirked. "Yes, her last name is 'Sparkle.'"

"James, he said 'Sparkleface,'" Twilight said flatly.

"Yeah, that's the thing," Blue Star clarified. "He only speaks in references and quotes."

"But what is Sparkleface a reference to?" the unicorn asked, wondering if she should've felt offended.

"That's actually a good question," James held his hand to his chin in thought. "I think it was... no... wait for it... yeah, I got nothin'. I'm not much of a cartoon person anymore."

Blue Star deadpanned. "It was from Tee--"

POW!

James put his revolver back while Blue Star begrudgingly rubbed his shoulder. "Yep, hazy memory."

Twilight and Spike responded with a silent, flat stare. The silence carried on for a few seconds, until it became uncomfortable. Blue Star and Delarious broke it by awkwardly coughing into their fist in perfect sync, causing everyone else to look at them in slight disbelief for a few more awkward seconds.

"F*** my life," James muttered under his breath before loudly clearing his throat. "So Blue Star, why are you here?"

"Because we're here, roll the bones," Delarious answered flatly.

James facepalmed with a quick hiss of laughter; Blue Star looked at Delarious in confusion before answering, "I was hoping Twilight had a few adventure books to loan," he pulled out his notebook and gestured to it. "I needed ideas and a little inspiration for some of my drawings I'm planning to make."

"And Delarious is here for the ride apparently?" Frag Cat asked rhetorically.

"Give the boy a prize!" Delarious answered Cheerfully.

"Well, why don't we go see the rest of the girls first," James suggested. "We were planning on seeing what they were up to. Plus, you can introduce my cousin."

"He's your cousin, why can't you do it?" Blue Star argued.

Delarious interjected, "Do it, or I'll have you discharged!"

"Alright!" James exclaimed. "Fine, I'll do it. Sheesh, I can never catch a break..."

"An elephant never forgets... you've got mail!" Delarious held up a small black envelope. James's eye lit up before he nearly snatched the letter from his cousin's grasp.

"Oh yeah, that was in you guys' mailbox," Blue Star explained.

James mentally thanked Atario for making a mailbox for the library. He could already tell what it was due to the lack of a stamp, address, or any other information on the cover. "It's a notification."

Conscience stepped out from behind James. "Did someone say 'notification'?" he said with a yawn and a stretch.

"Notification?" Spike asked.

"What notification?" Twilight asked. Frag Cat and Blue Star also looked at him in curiosity. Delarious was just smugly(?) shifting his hat up and down on his head, over and over.

"I only started getting these recently. It's usually just a letter with a different saying," James said. It was part of the truth. "I've only gotten a few of these. But they're specifically for me."

"So, what's that one say?" Frag Cat asked.

"Well, let's find out," James said, inwardly feeling extremely uncomfortable about reading something-- that was supposed to be very personal-- to his friends and family. He tore open the top, and pulled out the letter... then Delarious snatched the empty envelope.

"And, here's your question," he tossed it, causing it to sail out of the window like a paper airplane.

James stared after the envelope until it was out of sight before glaring at Delarious. "What the f***!" he exclaimed. "Delarious, you shouldn't do that, that's littering!"

His berated cousin was not looking at him, but at the corner of the wall to his right. "I didn't do that," he monotoned with an indifferent expression.

James paused before Facewhipping with his free hand. He made a mental note to throw the envelope away when they left to see the rest of the girls, as he and Conscience looked at the letter. He read it to himself (and tried not to make the involuntary shudder that followed too noticeable) before saying out loud, "It says 'Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, but how much too much really is depends on the one who has the experience or makes the encounter.' See? Completely random. Sometimes it can be an entertaining read." Conscience looked at him with utter confusion, but James only responded with an Epic Shrug.

"But all things considered, we should get out a dodge and stop procrastinating before we waste the day away," he continued, staring out the window with a serious expression. Everyone else uttered their own words of agreement... except Delarious, who Cheerfully nodded with so much vigor that his hat nearly flew off his head.

While the original foursome finished their cereal and got ready to leave, James sighed quietly and cast a second glance at the letter, noting what it actually read as Conscience merged with him.

Nature is a lovely thing. The forest is beautiful this time of the year. But if someone's not careful, I'll be on them like Poison Ivy.

Twilight, Spike (who was on her back), and the guys all walked down the cobblestone road of Ponyville. Frag Cat and Blue Star were in the back of the group listening to Best Friend on a small radio, with Delarious Cheerfully nodding along to the song in front of them.

In the front with the unicorn and dragon, James gave a small smile as he looked at the sky. It was almost completely clear, save for a stray cloud or two. Celestia's bright sun in the sky cast its bright, warm rays over the town, giving off a very joyful atmosphere. "What a beautiful day." (A red exclamation mark appeared above Delarious, whose eyes widened before he suddenly whirled around and punched the radio off of Frag Cat's back, breaking it much to Blue Star's chagrin.)

"It really is," Twilight agreed.

"Rainbow Dash must have gotten up early for once and cleared all the clouds away," Spike said.

"Oh, snap!" James Break-dance Kicked.

"I bet all of Ponyville is going to be out enjoying the sunshine."

After a moment, they paused, the guys behind them following suit. "Weird. You'd think we'd've seen at least one pony outside by now," James commented with a quirked eyebrow.

"Hey look, a unicorn!" Delarious pointed towards the left. The others followed his finger to see a dark pinkish purple unicorn filly standing in front of a house... but was suddenly pulled in by an older mare, supposedly her mother. "...Good feeling's gone," he said flatly.

"Is it some sort of pony holiday?" Spike asked as the group continued walking.

"Not that I know of," Twilight answered looking into an alley.

"Does my breath stink?" the purple dragon belched a small flame, sniffing at the air where it dissipated.

"Not more than usual," Twilight answered.

"Hey, that's not very nice," James smirked at the librarian.

"Is it... zombies!?" Spike grimaced in fear at the thought.

"I'm gonna eat your brain and gain your knowledge," Delarious smirked.

"Gah!" the poor dragon jumped back nearly falling off of Twilight, but James caught him and placed him back on top of her.

"That'd be the day," James snorted. "Psh. Zombies. If that nonexistent day ever comes where a zombie charges at one of us, I'll seize that son of a bitch by the neck and shove a grenade into its--"

"Psst."

Everyone stopped and looked around, trying to find the source of the new voice.

"Twilight!" Pinkie Pie hissed as her head shot up from behind the bottom half of the Sugarcube Corner's entrance, but hid just as quickly. "Spike!!" her head bounced in and out of view again. "Guys!" A third time. "Come here! Come, here! Hurry! Before she gets you!" the pink mare nervously peeked around outside before pulling back in. The six all jumped inside one at a time, James closing the door on the way inside.

Unlike how everyone who had been to Sugarcube Corner were used to, the sweet-laden cafe's lights were all off, casting the interior of the place in near-complete darkness. The little source of light provided to them was from the sunlight that barely seeped through the curtains of a window in the room, which wasn't much.

"Who? The zombie pony?" Spike asked while Delarious made a funny face as a light flashed on them all.

"Zombie pony?" Pinkie asked as she held the flashlight to her face. Spike mistook this response for a affirmation and frantically held Twilight tighter.

"Spike, there are no zombie ponies," she glared at him before turning to Pinkie. "Pinkie, what are you doing here alone in the dark?"

"I'm not alone in the dark," Pinkie said. As the new patrons' eyes adjusted to the dark, they noticed a multiple figures behind them.

"Aah!" James jumped back in surprise, ready to punch someone; but relaxed when he realized it was just Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and a familiar yellow filly with a large pink bow in her red mane. He recognized the filly as Applejack's younger sister, Apple Bloom.

"Okay then, what are you all doing here in the dark?" Twilight asked, looking confused.

"We're hiding from her," Applejack pointed at the window before opening it. A figure cloaked with a brown hood was digging at the ground with its hoof, a tiny hole to show for it. The hood did not completely cover its legs, revealing its limbs to be black and white-striped, one adorned with numerous golden rings.

Fluttershy stayed behind as Rarity, Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spike peered at the creature with apprehension. Delarious, Apple Bloom, Blue Star, and Frag Cat followed suit, more with curiosity than trepidation. James and Twilight looked outside with serious expressions.

Without warning, the figure paused and looked in their direction, causing everyone to gasp and hide. All except Twilight, who gave the girls a flat look; Frag Cat, who was trying to understand what was so scary; James, who simply turned away as not to stare; and Delarious who jumped back and exclaimed "Dr. Dre!" causing the guys to look at him in utter confusion.

"Um... did you take something before bed...?"

[Theme Song]

Spike didn't seem too fond of Apple Bloom propping herself up on his head to speak to his caretaker. "Did you see her, Twilight? Did you see... Zecora?"

"Apple Bloom. Ah told you never to say that name," Applejack chided with a disapproving gaze.

"Why?" James squinted in confusion.

"Because if you say her name five times while looking into a mirror, she'll instantly appear right behind you?" Delarious suggested eagerly.

"No!" Frag Cat and Blue Star exclaimed in unison.

Twilight answered, "Well, I saw her glance this way..."

"Glance evilly this way," Pinkie pointed.

Twilight exasperatedly pushed her back to a respectful distance before continuing. "And then a bunch of you flip out for no good reason."

"No good reason? You call protectin' yer kin no good reason?" Applejack asked. "Why, as soon as my sister saw Zecora ridin' into town, she started shakin' in her lil' horseshoes."

"Di-i-i-id no-o-o-o-o-ot," Apple Bloom argued as her older sister sister rattled her side to side before placing her on her back.

"So Ah swept her up and brought her here," Applejack finished.

"Ah walked here myself!" the filly said in annoyance.

"For safe keepin'," Applejack gave her a pointed look.

"Applejack, Ah'm not a baby!" Apple Bloom glared as she got off her sister's back. "Ah can take care of myself!"

"Not from that creepy Zecora."

James's eyebrows furrowed as he looked back outside. Twilight followed suit, along with everyone else, much to her chagrin. They watched as she removed her hood revealing a striped mane that looked similar to a mohawk, as well as golden teardrop-shaped earrings. Everyone except Twilight, Blue Star, James, Delarious, and Frag Cat, gasped.

"Would you cut that out?" Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Just look at those stripes. So garish," Rarity said in disgust.

James stepped back from the window. "Okay, now you're just being rude!" his eyes turned a shade redder. "What do you expect, Rarity? She's a zebra."

"A what!?" Spike and all the mares besides Twilight exclaimed in unison.

James squinted at them in disbelief. "Are you telling me you've never heard of a zebra? They didn't teach about them in school?"

"And her stripes aren't a fashion choice Rarity, they're what she was born with," Twilight added, causing the white unicorn to faint.

"Please kill me...," James muttered pulling his hat over his face.

"Born where? Ah've never seen a pony like that in these parts, 'cept... her!" The orange earth pony pointed fearfully out the window.

"Probably because she's not a pony," James facepalmed. "Back in our world, there's an abundance of zebras that live mostly in a whole other country, compared to where we live. It's probably the same way here. Clearly she's not from around here, if the way you act towards her is any indication."

"Exactly," Twliight agreed as Spike snuck into the kitchen. "My books say that zebras come from a faraway land. But I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?"

"That's just it, she lives in... the Everfree Forest!" Applejack said. As if on cue, a loud crash suddenly shook the place.

"It's an earthquake!" Delarious exclaimed in a strange accent before diving behind a nearby table.

"Spike!"Twilight glared at the dragon who was surrounded by fallen pots and pans.

"Uh... sorry," Spike apologized as he was holding a few treats. Blue Star smirked as he waited for everyone to turn back around before zooming quietly into the kitchen for a snack of his own.

Applejack continued. "The Everfree Forest just ain't natural. The plants grow..."

"The animals take care of themselves...," Fluttershy spoke.

"And the clouds move..." Rainbow added.

"All on their own," the three said in unison. Rarity fainted again shortly after.

Frag Cat quirked an eyebrow. "I'm... pretty sure that's natural."

"What are you talking about?" Rainbow crossed her forelegs as she hovered in the air. "You call all that natural?"

"Yes. Yes we do," James said looking at her. "That's competely normal for us back in our world. It's been like that since practically the beginning of time."

"Taste your own medicine and vice versa," Delarious's head popped up from behind the table and nodded in confirmation, earning him confused looks from the mares.

"And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil... stuff! She's so evil I even wrote a song about her!"

"Here we go," Rainbow rolled her eyes.

As Pinkie began her song, Blue Star was still in the kitchen savoring a handful of cookies with some milk. He was on his third cookie when James walked through the revolving doors. He froze, part of him expecting James to snap at him for eating sweets without asking, another part already thinking of a wise crack to shoot back at him when he did. But he didn't need to say a word, for James immediately pulled out a silencer and shot himself in the head.

The song was over before long, ending with its singer on top of a table, standing on her hind hooves with her forelegs raised in the air, and breathing heavily.

"...Wow. Catchy," Twilight said flatly.

Pinkie got off the table and back on all fours. "It's a work in progress."

James groggily came back out of the kitchen as Twilight spoke. "This is all just a lot of gossip and rumors. Now tell me, what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?"

"Well...," Dash started. "Once a month, she comes into Ponyville."

"Oooh," Twilight said dramatically.

"Then, she lurks by the stores," Rarity continued (while Delarious sang the chorus verse of Window Shopper.)

"Oh, my."

"And then, she digs at the ground," Fluttershy finished.

"Good gracious," Twilight held a hoof to her face in mock horror before dropping her act. "Okay, I'm sorry. But how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit?" she suggested.

"Yeah! Maybe she's just tryin' to be neighborly," Apple Bloom stood next to the librarian.

Frag Cat added, "If she lurking around the stores, I don't see what else she could really do, since you keep closing the places whenever she's around."

"Yeah! Everypony likes to shop. You know what Ah think?" Apple Bloom was interrupted by Applejack.

"Apple Bloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk," the older farm pony scolded.

"Ah am a big pony," the yellow filly muttered walking to the corner.

"What about digging at the ground? You've got to admit that's weird," Rainbow rebutted.

"No, it isn't," James glared at her. "Unless you think botany is weird. Ajax and her family probably plant trees and stuff all the time, being farmers and all. Zecora could be a gardener for all we know!"

"I am sure there is an explanation for everything Zecora does," Twilight said. "And if anypony here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth."

Apple Bloom's face lit up upon hearing the purple mare's words. "Well, Ah'm brave enough. Ah'm gonna find out myself." No one noticed her open, and slip out, the door.

"If she's that creepy, why don't you just shoot her?" Blue Star called sarcastically from the kitchen.

"She'll be mine! MINE!" Delarious rubbed his hands with a maniacal smile... until James popped him in the back of the head with his BB gun in irritation.

The farm filly cautiously peeked past the entrance, but gasped and quickly retreated back when the zebra looked in her direction. Gulping and steeling herself, she ran to a closer hiding spot when the zebra turned and began to walk away. The zebra was oblivious to Apple Bloom's presence as she quietly ran from bush to bush, keeping out of sight.

"You ponies are being ridiculous!" Twilight exclaimed. James was gritting his teeth, his red eyes full of rage behind her, Frag Cat frowning at him in concern.

"Well... I heard that Zecora eats hay," Pinkie hissed.

"Pinkie, I eat hay. You eat hay!"

Frag Cat, who was going to tap James's leg and ask if he was okay, recoiled with a grimace when he suddenly snapped. "THAT'S IT! I'm beyond tired of putting up with this!" He stormed over to the door. "I don't know what it's gonna take for you to get your head out of the gutter, but--!" he paused, his eyes immediately turning blue again, when he faintly heard music playing.

"James...? Are you okay?" Frag Cat asked hesitantly. James did not answer as he looked around the room with an intense gaze.

"...Is something wrong, James?" Twilight asked, looking concerned.

All at once, James's head snapped back to the group. "Where's Apple Bloom?"

"The door's open," Fluttershy pointed.

"She went outside!" Rarity held a hoof to her chest.

"And Zecora's still out there!" Rainbow added.

"Okay, what does the milk carton say?" Delarious asked. After a pause he asked, "...The picture looks accurate, right...?"

James, partly out of exasperation by the previous conversation but mostly out of concern, Flashed out the door to find the lost filly.

"That silly lil' filly. Ah told her to stay put!" Applejack said worriedly as they followed James outside. Though he was far ahead of them, they continued to run, determined to save Apple Bloom.

Twilight, who was the last to exit the restaurant turned to her assistant, who had a rusty pot on his head, like a helmet. "Spike. You stay here in case Apple Bloom comes back."

"Will do!" Spike saluted.

James, who had entered the Everfree a couple minutes prior, could hear the music getting closer. After a time, he saw a pale yellow speck following a mostly brown one. Putting on an extra burst of speed he ran, his footsteps light, until he finally closed in most of the distance, which was now only a few yards.

"Apple Bloom!" he hissed quietly as not to be heard by the zebra in front of them.

The earth pony in question froze upon hearing his voice and snapped her head around. "James?" she responded barely above a whisper.

"What are you doing?"

The filly spared a glance at Zecora before talking. "Ah'm gonna go talk to Zecora. Ah just don't think she's as evil as everypony says."

James smirked. "Well, that's very mature of you. Although, I don't think your family would be too fond of you talking to strangers..." His expression quickly turned into one of uncertainty as he once again became conscious of the music playing, and sounded very close. He looked around as if something was going to jump out at any second. "At least get a trusted adult to come with you next time," he hissed. "But you might want to wait until some other time. I think we should--"

"Apple Bloom?" an older southern voice called out. Apple Bloom gasped (and James flinched) as Zecora turned around and spotted them, as well as Applejack, Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, Frag Cat, and Delarious.

"You get back here right now!" Applejack commanded.

"Beware! Beware, you pony folk!" the zebra spoke while retreating into some fog that appeared out of nowhere. "Those leaves of blue are not a joke!"

'Leaves of blue...? What leaves of--' James grunted in surprise, his thoughts interrupted, when Applejack practically bowled him onto the ground to lift Apple Bloom onto her back... right as the song ended.

"Y-you keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yourself, ya hear?" the orange earth pony cried out. Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie and Delarious joined in, voicing their agreement in one way or another.

"Oh, brother..." Twilight looked down in embarassment.

James exasperatedly picked himself off the ground and dusted himself, but realized his clothes had picked up a scent. 'Wait... that smells like... white chocolate?,' he thought to himself.

"Beware! Beware!" was Zecora's last words before she disappeared into the fog.

"Yeah, back at ya, Zecora! You and your lame curse are the ones who better beware!" Rainbow yelled after her, causing Apple Bloom to glare at the pegasus... until her older sister did the same to her.

"And you! Why couldn't you just listen to yer big sister?" she scolded.

Apple Bloom was suddenly at a loss for words. "Ah-- ah..."

"Who knows what kind of nasty curse Zecora could have just put on you?"

James Violently whirled around. "You see that? That's how you make unnecessary enemies! Why can't you just say hello like a sensible pony?" he glared at Applejack.

"Ah'm not getting cursed by that creep, and neither is my sister!"

"There's no such thing as curses!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Well, that's interesting to hear coming from Miss Magic Pants herself," Rainbow smiled wryly as she poked Twilight's horn.

James angrily swatted the pegasus' hoof away. "Don't you dare compare her magic to this enchanting nonsense! They're two completely different things and you know it!"

Not convinced, everypony (along with Delarious) turned and made their way out of the forest. " Just you wait," Applejack said as she left. "You're gonna learn, that some pony tales, really are true."

"Like f***ing hell I will," James muttered under his breath as he picked up Frag Cat and placed him on his shoulder and left, followed by Twilight.

[Roughly fifteen minutes later, in our universe...]

Blue Star and Delarious walked down the street. "Sorry we didn't get to go to the museum like we wanted," the former apologized as they walked approached his house. It's not too late in the afternoon, but the place closes at 4:30 today..."

"All is forgiven," the latter slurred in a low-pitch voice... before slapping his wrist rapidly.

Blue Star stared blankly at him as they arrived at the door. That was when he noticed something was lodged in between one of the straps in his overalls. "Whatcha' got there?" he asked, pointing at his friend's shoulder.

Delarious looked to his shoulder and pulled the object free of his clothing's grasp, and unfolded it. It turned out to be a lovely blue exotic plant. "Pretty... pretty flower!" he answered with an southern accent as he held the floral oject in front of his face.

Blue Star sniffed it. "Ooh... you know, that actually smells like white chocolate!" he smiled at Delarious. "Where'd you find this?"

"Over the river and through the woods."

"Uh...the Everfree Forest then... wow, I need to get more of these some time around."

[A little past midnight in Equestria...]

Twilight tossed and turned in her bed, her slumber far from peaceful as an unpleasant dream replayed her friends' words from the ordeal with Zecora.

♪"She's an evil enchantress, she does evil dances!"♪

"Beware! Beware!"

"Taste your own medicine and vice versa."

♪"If you look deep in her eyes, she will put you in trances!"♪

"Yeah, was that supposed to scare us?"

"Wicked, wicked zebra!"

"It's a curse."

"If she's that creepy, why don't you just shoot her?"

♪"Then what will she do?"♪

"Just you wait, Twilight; some pony tales really are true."

♪"Then she'll gobble you up in a big tasty stew, soooo watch out!"♪

"She'll be mine! MINE!"

The unicorn groaned as Zecora's evil laugh echoed vividly inside her subconscious.

Twilight groggily opened her eyes, struggling against the fatigue that lingered from the restlessness she felt during that nightmare she had. "Ugh. What a dream. Curses schmurses." Not one to sleep in, she ignored her body's protests to go back to sleep, and got out of bed and walked over to her mirror. The pony's reflection caused her to blink.

"Whoa," she chuckled. "Maybe Zecora cursed my hair." Levitating her hairbrush from the dresser that the mirror hung above, she fixed her bad case of bedhead with a couple of strokes, revealing a limp potrusion from her head that was dotted with blue spots. The purple mare gasped in horror. "Or she cursed my horn!"

"Ideal opinions are not proven facts!"

Twilight and Spike searched and searched her library for a cure. The task was made more difficult since her horn was out of commission, forcing her to search with her hooves. Despite this, she had already made it through just about every book that could possibly help her solve the issue. Unfortunately, each book was met with the same unsuccessful result. "No no no no no! None of these books have a cure!" she exclaimed as she flipped through another book. "Ugh! There has to be a real reason for this! An illness? An allergy!?" she grimaced as she touched her horn.

"A curse!" Spike spoke up.

"I said a real reason. Something that points to something real."

"How about this one?" the dragon held up the book he was looking at.

"'Supernaturals'? Spike, the word supernatural refers to things like ghosts and spirits and zombies, which are as make-believe as curses. This book is just a bunch of hooey!"

Her assistant frowned at the rejected tome. "But what if you're wrong, Twilight? What if this really is a--"

"A phurse!" Pinkie exclaimed, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"A purse? How could it be a purse?" Spike asked in confusion.

Twilight, however was looking at the pink pony's tongue: it was covered in light blue spots.

"Pinkie, what happened?" the unicorn asked in concern.

"Eh pah Thecora! Sthe put a cursthe on meh!" Pinkie's speech was impeded by her tongue stuck outside of her mouth; furthermore, spit flew everywhere as she spoke.

"Hey, say it, don't spray it, Pinkie!" Spike exasperatedly wiped the mare's saliva off of himself.

He barely finished his sentence when a loud thud shook the place, bringing everyone's attention to the window as Rainbow Dash crashed into it. And again. "She's *thud* trying to say-- ow!-- Zecora--" a crack in the wall next to the door followed the next thud before she bust the door off of its hinges as she flew uncontrollably into the wall in front of her, getting tangled with the ladder, "--she slapped us all with a curse!"

"I'm afraid I have to agree." Twilight and Spike turned to source of the voice: Rarity, who fruitlessly tried to blow her mane; long, unkempt, and almost like dreadlocks; out of her face. Her coat and tail was in a similar condition, causing the two to yell in surprise.

"Ah hate to say Ah told ya so, but Ah told ya so!" the new voice had a high pitch, but the southern accent was unmistakable. The purple unicorn and dragon turned, and gasped as they saw Applejack... barely half the size of Apple Bloom's head; said filly was carrying the orange mare on her back. "It's a curse, Ah tells ya!"

Twilight looked at the timid pegasus who had not spoken, trying to dispel the curse conspiracy that everyone seemed to believe. "But, Fluttershy... seems just fine!"

"Yes, there doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with her," Rarity agreed, causing the butter yellow mare to look at the ground with uncertainty.

"Fluttershy? Are you okay?" Twilight asked. But Fluttershy only averted her gaze. "Is there something wrong with you?" A nervous nod was the response, followed by a cringe. "Would you care to tell us?" she asked, slightly exasperated at her pegasus friend's wordless gestures. But Fluttershy only looked away again and shut her eyes. "Sooo you're not gonna tell us?" Fluttershy shook her head in a diagonal line. "Yes you're not, or yes you will?"

Applejack ran up to her. "Good gravy, girl! What's wrong with you!?" she glared impatiently from on top of the tomes spread along the table in the middle of the room.

Finally, the timid mare gave a verbal answer. "I don't wanna talk about it." Everyone else's eyes widened in shock at the mare's voice: it was low and deep, like a stallion's.

The uncomfortable-to-be silence didn't last long as Spike burst out laughing. "This is hilarious! Haha, look at all of you," he pointed at the unamused mares, "we got Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Apple Teeny, Flutterguy, and..." he trailed off as he reached the librarian. Before he could think of a witty name, the library door flew open. The open entrance was pitch black like an endless void of darkness, the late morning daylight not showing through at all; as if it was nighttime, but without a single star in sight. A familiar figure stepped through the door.

As the ponies and dragon came into view, Delarious waved with a smile. "Hi, girls. Spike."

"Delarious? What are you doing here?" Spike asked.

Before he could answer, a slightly (but only slightly less) familiar figure rushed through the door before shutting it quickly. The sight of this one caused everyone besides Delarious to gasp in horror.

"Jeejee Christopher, I don't look that scary!"

"Bl-... Blue Star!?" Twilight exclaimed. "What happened to you!? You look... like... like a cartoon character!"

It was a brief, but very accurate, statement. He seemed a little scrawny with his arms and legs seeming more akin to thick pasta noodles than actual limbs. Despite this, his shoes seemed to be the same size, if not a similar style. Contrary to his skinny limbs, his body was a different story. While it looked normal enough, its form was slightly abstract and round-ish. Although his hat seemed shorter than before, it still clung to his head tightly but still snugly. His overalls seemed to be slightly too large for him. But while the straps were clearly not touching his shoulders, they still remained in place without any signs of becoming loose. The more scary sight was his face, more accurately, his eyes. They were long, black ovals with no apparent iris, slight triangular gaps missing on the side of each one.

All in all, he looked like an old-school Disney drawing. Only as a man instead of a mouse.

The blue and red-clothed man threw his hands up (while Delarious snorted in laughter at the purple unicorn's exclamation). "IKR! That's why I came here! I was hoping you would know what's going on." He then took notice of the state that the mares were in. "Judging by the looks of things, whatever it was affected you and us."

"What do you mean 'us'?" Twilight asked in bemusement. "Is something wrong with Delarious?"

"It's not obvious?" the toon looked at her incredulously. He turned around. "Delarious, how do you feel?"

"Uh, fine , I guess," the response was given with a shrug.

Blue Star whirled around. "Don't you see? He's making complete sense! I can count on my hands how many times I've heard him say a normal and appropriate sentence in my entire lifetime!"

"H-How do you know he's not just now figuring out a different way to express himself?" Twilight stammered, desperately thinking of a reasonable explanation.

"...Seriously?" Blue Star and Delarious responded in unison with a deadpan.

After a few more seconds of struggling, Rainbow finally broke free from the ladder's steps. "I think we'll find a cure to this curse at Zecora's place!" she suggested before crashing into a wall.

"It's not a curse!" Twilight said in annoyance.

"The zebra from yesterday?" Blue Star asked in bemusement.

Applejack spoke up. "Ah agree with Dash! We'll go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!"

"It's not a hex either!"

As the girls continued to bicker, Apple Bloom frowned as she spoke quietly to herself. "This is all my fault. If Ah hadn't followed Zecora in the first place, none of this would have happened." She walked towards the door with determination. "Ah just gotta fix this."

Unknowingly, the filly was not unnoticed by Applejack. "Now where does she think she's goin' this time?" The orange mare discreetly leaped into her 'little' sister's tail as she walked outside and down the road.

Back in the library, Blue Star suddenly felt like someone's input was missing. The heated disagreement, shouting in all capital letters, maybe an Explosion... his eyes widened as he came to a realization.

"Hold it!" The mares went silent at the exclamation and looked at him. "Where's James?" As the question sunk in, the girls' eyes also widened as they noticed said person's absence. Blue Star's gaze turned incredulous at their silence. "He's not here!?"

Delarious pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "Well, there's Frag Cat..." The others all looked to where he was pointing to see the puppycat who was sitting on his rump in front of one of the tables near the kitchen, but his head was planted face-down on its surface. "If anyone would know where he is, it'd be him."

Blue Star sighed in relief. "Good. The sooner we can find James, the sooner he can put an end to this fiasco."

Delarious walked over to Frag Cat. "Hey... hey Frag Cat," he tapped him on the back a couple times. Getting no response, he shook him sort-of-lightly. "Frag Cat, wake up, we need your help." But the puppycat only shifted his face so he was laying on his cheek, before letting out a quiet snore. Fluttershy wanted to coo at how adorable the sight was, but kept quiet in spite of her altered voice.

"The poor dear is out cold!" Rarity frowned.

Blue Star frowned deeply. "This is wrong... this is insanely wrong. Frag Cat's a light sleeper, all of us talking like we were should've woken him up. And he's snoring, Frag Cat never snores!"

"Fraph Ceht musthe beh undah the cursthe thoo!" Pinkie exclaimed. Twilight groaned in frustration.

On impulse, Delarious quickly leaned close to the puppycat's ear. "FRAG CAT!"

"AAH!" Frag Cat jolted upright in alarm and looked around frantically, gravity peeling off the couple of board game tiles that were stuck to his cheek. He winced as his ears continued to ring for a few lingering seconds; if there was one thing he wasn't fond of, it was extremely loud noises. Seeing no immediate danger, he relaxed slightly and looked up at the person who had shouted, with a yawn. "Oh... hi, Delarious," he tiredly rubbed his eye with his paw. "Could you not yell into my ear like that again? You know they're super sensitive..."

Delarious looked at him in concern. "We thought you were in a coma or something!" Frag Cat nodding off before shaking his head to stay awake did not go unnoticed by the others.

"Sorry. I'm not..." he trailed off as another yawn escaped his mouth, "...I'm not usually this drowsy."

"Frag Cat, do you know where James is?"

The puppycat almost nodded off again, but perked up slightly upon hearing James's name. "Oh... uh, last time I saw him, we were playing a game with Conscience." He yawned again and rubbed his other eye. "Although I probably passed out after the... I lost track of how many games we finished."

"Where?"

"Right here," Frag Cat pointed to an empty spot next to himself. As he did this, he finally noticed the six ponies in the room. "Oh, hi girls. I didn't worry you too much, did I?" After a moment, he processed that everyone looked slightly... different. Besides Fluttershy, Spike, and Delarious who looked perfectly normal; and Blue Star, who looked completely different. He rubbed both of his eyes before blinking at the sight. "Oh no... am I seeing things?"

Delarious huffed. "I wish I could tell you 'yes.'"

Frag Cat frowned, trying not to nod off again. "What happened to you?"

"Zecora happened! She cursed everyone!" Rainbow exclaimed, struggling not to topple over in the air again.

Frag Cat held a paw to his mouth as he yawned again. He refrained from stretching, hoping the stress in his body would help him stay awake. The soreness was a plus. "Right," he said flatly. "So you don't know, then."

"Of course we know!" Rainbow snapped, almost immediately . "How else could this have happened?"

"I'm guessing none of you tried to figure out what was wrong...?" Twilight cleared her throat loudly. "...Besides Twilight?"

"I've looked all through the library at possible books on illnesses and alergies, but I can't find anything!" the librarian answered in a defeated tone.

As he yawned again, the puppycat mentally wondered how Blue Star had even been... affected... when he wasn't even there when they confronted Zecora yesterday. He paused in his musings (it was difficult to think with how tired he was anyway) as he looked around. "But... Applejack and Apple Bloom are fine, right?"

"No, Applejack was also...," Twilight trailed off as she noticed the tiny earth pony was nowhere to be found.

"She's not here!" Delarious exclaimed.

"Aah! Or someone stepped on her!" Rarity exclaimed as she checked the bottom of her hooves, the rested of the mares following suit, and the guys checking their shoes.

"...Or sat on her?" Twilight checked her flank.

Delarious stared blankly as the rest of the girls did the same, his mouth formed into a thin line. "...This is weird." Frag Cat shrugged tiredly, too busy slapping his cheek to keep from falling asleep, to pay much attention to the spectacle.

Rainbow's expression lit up as another idea came to mind. "Rarity's hair!"

Rarity yelped as Pinkie started checking in various areas of her mane and coat. "Pinkie, what are you doing? Ah, really-- aah! You ever hear of personal space?"

"Nopth," the earth pony shook her head at Twilight.

"Apple Bloom's gone too," the librarian frowned.

"I bet they went after Zecora," Rainbow suggested.

"This can't be happening..." Everyone looked at Blue Star who had gone quiet for a long while. His voice was low, his tone dark. "This is unacceptable. How could she do a thing like this..." Delarious looked at his cousin's brother in bemusement as he spoke. "She's not going to do anything to him. Not if I can help it." Without warning, Blue Star bolted out the door.

Delarious blinked at the sudden departure before grabbing a surprised Frag Cat and slinging him onto his back. "After him!" he ran after the artist-turned-toon.

Twilight blinked in surprise before looking at the girls with determination. "Come on girls, let's go."

After Pinkie and Fluttershy helped Rainbow stand upright, the rest of the mares followed after Twilight.

Spike, who was the only one left, sighed in relief at how he didn't have to go with them. Turning toward an open empty book, he started writing ideas for nicknames to give to the rest of the group.

"C'mon girls. We've got to get to Zecora's. Hurry!" Twilight urged as they galloped into the Everfree Forest. Rarity abruptly tripped over her unkempt coat and slid ungracefully across the dirt.

"Ooh... easier said than done," she said as she got back up and ran to catch up with the group.

"Wait for me!" Rainbow soared around uncontrollably going through a nearby bush before colliding with a tree, detaching a morbidly thick branch from it. The prismatic-maned pegasus groaned, lying on her back as her head hurt. Her eyes widened as something struggled inside her mouth before breaking free, revealing none other than Applejack.

"Rainbow! Thank Celestia. There's no time to lose!" In a questioningly short amount of seconds, the stetson-wearing mare left and returned with a set of twigs and vines and leaves for makeshift reigns. Without waiting for consent, she thrust the stick into Rainbow's mouth. "Ah need to get to Zecora's pronto!" She said before jumping onto the larger mare's belly. "Giddy-up pony!"

"Ex-cuse me?" Rainbow said indignantly.

"Yeee-haw!" Applejack kicked her hoof into the pegasus' stomach, causing her to lift into the air.

"What the--!" Rainbow was suddenly zipping around in the air once more.

"No, Rainbow Dash. Other way!"

Fluttershy, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity approached a twisted-looking tree. While the tree itself did not look fitting for an ideal place to live, there was a door at the front, as well as a wooden mask that hung from above it. The ground surrounding it was bare of any grass or moss, and overall seemed to be well-maintained to an extent. If it weren't for its inhabitant, as well as the fact that the tree-house was within the Everfree Forest, the girls might've thought that it looked completely normal... if a little deformed.

"Oh. I look horrible," Rarity complained.

"Thith plathe lookth ho'ible!" Pinkie lifted purple mane from the white unicorn's eyes so she could see the hut that they stood in front of.

As the fashionista got a good look at the zebra's apparent habitat, she blanched. "Oh my. That place really does look horrible."

As the four mares cautiously moved toward the house, they noticed three familiar figures. Standing by, and staring intently through the window, was Blue Star. Delarious was standing behind him, looking uncertain. Frag Cat was tiredly hanging on to his neck.

As the girls approached them, Delarious turned towards them and shrugged in uncertainty as he gestured towards Blue Star with his eyes. Blue Star also heard them, but didn't turn away from the zebra inside.

The girls went to the window and looked through it. There was Zecora was standing in front of a large black pot that was under an organized pile of burning wood. The rest of the interior mostly looked to serve a practical purpose, various sizes of several vials and similar glass bottles of unidentifiable liquids and powders and such crowding space in the corners of the hardwood floor, sitting along a few shelves on the wall, even hanging from vines on the ceiling. Twilight couldn't understand a single word that the zebra was saying as she tended to the green, bubbling liquid in the cauldron. The only thing that indicated the place was intended to be lived in, and not specifically a lair or laboratory, was the small bed that lay against a wall in the far corner of the room.

"Look at her. She looks so perfectly fit and in good condition. Not a single scratch on hide nor hair of her. James would never get captured without a fight, and he doesn't pull his punches in dire situations." He narrowed his eyes as the striped mare spoke in some unidentifiable language. "Just how powerful is this zebra to kidnap a guy like James, and get away with it unscathed? I've clearly underestimated her."

"You saw those terrible things. Now do you believe us Twilight?" Rarity asked as they stepped back from the window.

"You can't call things that are strange 'terrible.' Not without good reason," Frag Cat protested drowsily from Delarious's back with another yawn.

The purple mare looked around. "Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling cauldron?" She sighed, "Everything is pointing to Zecora being... bad." But she suddenly smiled as another reasonable explanation came to her. "Or... what if Zecora is just making soup?"

They all watched as Zecora took a lick at the concoction in the cauldron. "Mmm, the perfect temperature for ponies, I presume." She looked around. "Now, where is that little Apple Bloom...?"

Guys and ponies alike looked at the zebra in horror. Even Frag Cat's eyes widened, his jaw slack.

"Or... what if she's making Apple Bloom soup!?" Twilight rephrased her previous question.

Author's Note

Fair warning, this next chapter has a tinge of darkness at a certain part.

"I'm not as corrupt as that fox on TV!"

Mr. Original’s Dictionary
Original Edition

Miff Sniff
/mif snif/
vb.

-when one exhales out of their mouth, before briskly inhaling through their nose in exasperation

"What if she's making App--"

"Twilight, we heard you the first time," Delarious deadpanned.

"She's eating children! Fricking children!" Blue Star shuddered. He turned back to the window, his gaze turning furious. 'What have you done with my brother?' he thought darkly. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted as the girls started screaming.

It was around the same time when Rainbow Dash came flying around with Applejack. "Ah'm comin' for ya, Apple Bloom!" the miniature orange mare called out. The duo crashed through Zecora's door, the sound of rattling vials resounding in the air.

Upon the unexpected arrival, Zecora turned to them exclaiming in her foreign language, wincing as they crashed into the wall at the back of the hut. She did so again as they uncontrollably cashed into another area.

"Easy, Rainbow Crash," Applejack said as the pegasus knocked into and broke a vial hanging from the ceiling, much to the dismay of the zebra who continued to shout after them in a different tongue.

The door (that somehow closed during the ordeal) burst open as Twilight entered, followed by Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. All of them glared at the zebra. "What have you done with Apple Bloom?" Twilight took on a fighting stance, scraping her hoof along the ground.

Zecora, however, did not answer, too focused on the pegasus that was destroying more and more of the bottles that adorned the hut. "No! No!" she cried with a cringe as Rainbow crashed again. She turned back to the destructive ponies in time to see a lasso being tossed in her direction. The zebra frowned in bemusement as the miniature orange earth pony jumped onto her head and started wrestling with her ear.

Delarious saw the distressed zebra shout frantically to the airborne Rainbow Dash. "What in the world, does she not know how to walk?" he gestured to the pegasus in annoyance.

Blue Star sneered as Rainbow continued to fly around and break the zebra's personal belongings. "Serves her right."

Frag Cat's eyes were closed, clinging to what little consciousness he had left. Though he had enough energy to add a tone of annoyance to the yawn that he stifled with a paw. His fatigue made it slightly difficult to hang onto Delarious with his other foreleg, his grip lessening.

Delarious noticed the struggle, and readjusted the him on his back to keep him from falling. The puppycat shot him a tired but grateful smile, his eyes barely opening before closing again.

"She's distracted, now's my chance."

Delarious turned back to Blue Star to see him walking towards the door while pulling out a sword, the scarce sunlight that filtered through the trees reflecting off of its smooth and sharp surface. Although it was debatable whether the fact that it looked cartoon-ish made it seem more or less daunting.

The sound of brandishing metal caused Frag Cat to wake up with a start. "What was that?" he asked quickly.

"Blue Star's going in there with his sword," Delarious answered, sounding uneasy.

Frag Cat's eyes widened. "Oh, no... no no no no no." He quickly detached himself from Delarious and walked as quickly as he could after James's younger brother. He forced himself to run, despite his drowsiness causing him to stumble on the way to the door.

Delarious frowned as he turned back to the window and saw that Zecora's cauldron was toppled over, the bubbling liquid it had once contained, spilled along the wooden floor. Its owner looked none too pleased. "Oooh..."

"How dare you! You destroy my home, destroy my work! Then rudely accuse me of being a jerk?"

Rainbow Dash was going to retort, but was interrupted as someone hastily brushed past her. "What the--!?"

Zecora's expression turned from anger to fear as she noticed the new arrival was wielding a deadly weapon and was headed right for her. Reflexively she cringed with her eyes shut at what was surely to be her doom. Applejack also noticed, eyes wide as she jumped off of her head to avoid getting injured.

"THIS IS FOR MY BROTHER!"

XZING!

The the six mares all gasped in horror as Blue Star, who's eyes were shut as he charged, came in contact at was surely flesh. He grit his teeth in contempt as he opened his eyes and looked up... and jolted in disbelief at the light orange underbelly that his sword was penetrating.

"Frag Cat!?"

Realizing she was still alive and not in any pain, Zecora hesitantly opened her eyes, her expression also turning to surprise. Said puppycat was pushing against the blade with all the strength he could muster in his state. Even while being stabbed, he was trying not to fall asleep. "Blue Star... what are you doing!?" he looked up in alarm at the toon.

"Frag Cat... please step aside," he cast shot a glare at the zebra who was looking at Frag Cat in concern, but met his gaze as he flicked his at hers for a brief moment. "I'll handle this."

Frag Cat shook his head. "No... I can't let you do that," he stated firmly.

Blue Star frowned before yanking his sword out, throwing Frag Cat off balance before pushing him with his free hand, sending him against the wall. "Stay down.... Please don't make this more difficult for me than it already is..."

"Blue, what the heck! How are we supposed to get uncursed if you kill her!?" Rainbow exlaimed.

The toon turned towards the blue mare. "As if this witch would do such a thing. And if we let her go, she's just gonna keep us from finding a way to undo this mess."

He turned back to the zebra and didn't waste any time before rearing his sword back to strike... until something furry quickly wrapped around his neck and pulled him backwards, cutting off his oxygen. "Ack!"

Frag Cat's hing legs were suspended in the air as he used what little footing his forelegs had along the ground to pull Blue Star back with his tail. Blue Star couldn't try to grab it and force it off, or he'd risk Frag Cat exploding. As tempting as the idea was, he didn't want the girls to get hurt. "Don't do this. You haven't even let her explain herself yet! How do think James would feel if he knew that?"

The puppycat's verbal protest brought forth a boiling rage at the mention of his brother, and he growled as he struggled even harder against the restraint.

Holding Blue Star back was starting to become a losing battle. Frag Cat looked up to the girls and noticed Delarious standing behind them, watching the scene in shock. The two locked eyes, the puppycat's making a silent plea for help.

Delarious hesitated, the pressure of the situation making him uncertain of how to intervene.

Frag Cat winced as Blue Star got a hold of his hind leg and unraveled him from his neck before throwing him over the girls and at Delarious, who reflexively caught him. The puppycat was going to immediately run back over to stop him, but another yawn escaped his mouth, blurring his vision slightly as his eyes watered slightly. His efforts to hold it back were futile, and it lasted way longer than he'd have liked. The constant yawning didn't really bother him too much before, but now, it was starting to annoy him.

"You'll thank me later..." Blue Star said before quickly raising his sword as he turned back to the zebra.

POW!

Blue Star's eyes widened as his blade was launched from his hand with so much force that it stuck deeply into the wall in front of him. Everyone slowly turned to the door in alarm to see...

"James!?" Delarious and the girls exclaimed.

Frag Cat's expression lit up, the sight of his lifelong companion alone making the task of staying awake easier. But his smile faded slightly as he fully took in what he looked like. The girls who were also happy upon finding their friend, faltered when they took in his unchanged demeanor.

James hadn't moved from his position since his arrival was known; his arm was raised and holding a large silver gun, which had a faint cloud of smoke trailing from its mouth in spite of just being used. His breathing was quiet but still noticeably heavy, his slowly rising and falling chest being a clear indicator. His flaming eyes complemented his grinding teeth, adding on to his very, very pissed off expression.

James looked around the room. Many bottles and vials were destroyed, broken glass littering certain parts of the floor. The cauldron that Zecora had been working with was tipped to its side, with its spilled contents lying in a puddle next to it on the floor. The couple of masks that were hanging from the wall, were now lying on the ground, having fallen during the ordeal.

The room was in utter chaos.

"...James...?" Delarious asked meekly. Much to everyone's relief, James's red vision began to dissipate, figuratively and literally. He closed his eyes as he put his gun away. Some of the tension that left the room returned as he turned his back to the indoors and dropped his face into his hands. No one dared to speak at that moment... until another voice spoke up from outside.

"James... are ya alright?"

Everyone's eyes widened as a familiar yellow filly with a pink bow walked through, a small pair of white saddlebags on her back.

"Apple Bloom! You're okay!" Applejack cried.

The bemused earth filly was going to respond, but James sharply pointed at her before pointing at the six mares, without removing his other hand from his face or turning around. Understanding the gesture, but nervous at the silent tension, Apple Bloom trotted over to where Applejack was on Rainbow's back. Her older sister sister smiled at her, but their attention was soon brought back to James, who finally turned around. Though his expression looked less angry and was more emotionless.

After a few seconds, his conscience separated from him, looking very displeased at the uninvited guests inside the hut. "...Okay... I'm going to ask this... as calmly... as I possibly can." Conscience inhaled deeply before letting it out slowly through his nose. Then he Exploded, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!?"

The others jumped at the exclamation, but a few were able to recover enough to answer his question.

"Zecora's an evil enchantress who cursed us and tried to cook Apple Bloom into soup!" Said filly and zebra nearly broke out in laughter at how absurd the purple unicorn's statement was, but wisely kept quiet.

"Rainbow Dash destroyed everything."

"Hey!" the brash pegasus glared at Delarious.

"I tried to *yawn* I tried to stop him but I couldn't hold him off for long."

"I almost had her but then you showed up!" Blue Star finished with a soft expression as he looked at James. "You had me worried sick."

Conscience Miff Sniffed before Facewhipping, slowly dragging his hand down his face in exasperation before hissing in humorless laughter. "Wow. Just... wow. We can't ever solve a problem without making the situation so infuriating, can we? This isn't a curse!"

Twilight smiled nervously, "Conscience, look, you can't just stand there and tell us--"

"This isn't, a curse," Conscience stated more firmly with a glare, his gaze shifting over to Blue Star. "Blue Star, I have no idea what you were doing with a sword. But with this having happened," he gestured to the mess surrounding them, "I think an explanation is in order."

[Yesterday evening...]

Frag Cat was lying on his side, his back rested against James's side. James was lying on his stomach on the living room floor, head rested on his arms as he read a moderately thick mystery novel. It had been nearly four hours since he had started on the tome and he hadn't moved from his position since. Since then, he'd only spoken when he was spoken to, and even then he didn't say much more than the minimum. This concerned the librarians, but Frag Cat assured them that he'd be fine. Reluctantly, the two had retired to their beds for the night.

That was roughly a half hour ago.

As another page was turned, the puppycat looked away from the book and spoke. "James?"

"Hmm," was the grunted response.

"Do you want me to get you a glass of water or milk or something...?"

James didn't immediately reply. "...No. I'll get it." He slowly began to shift his arms from underneath his head to turn the book over to hold its place before he got up and made his way into the kitchen. In a smooth transition, he opened the cupboard and took out a large glass, before closing the cupboard and turning on the tap. Waiting a moment for the water to get cold, he placed the glass under the running faucet, filling it nearly to the top before turning the water off.

Not immediately returning to the living room, he leaned to the side, propping himself with his hand on the counter as he drank. His drinking accelerated slightly as he realized how thirsty he was. After he'd almost reached he bottom of the glass, his quiet gulps turned into long sips. Eventually he stopped altogether, staring into nothing. At this point, Frag Cat had walked into the kitchen, noticing the distant look.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

For a brief moment, a ghost of a smile crept onto James's face as he looked at the puppycat's concerned face; Frag Cat was always looking out for him. "Nothing really. I was just thinking..." He put his almost-empty glass in the sink, before going back into the living room, Frag Cat following suit.

"After the ordeal with Zecora... it made me wonder..." Frag Cat frowned in curiosity as James continued. "How would ponies in Equestria have reacted if I hadn't met Princess Celestia...? If I hadn't met Twilight...? Would they react to me or the guys like they did to Zecora?"

His musing gave Frag Cat pause. "Um... I don't know.... No one thought you were creepy or evil, right?"

"Well, yeah. But Zecora doesn't seem that way either. Mysterious perhaps, but I wouldn't say 'creepy'... I kinda get the feeling she keeps to herself because everyone shuns her. I can't help but feel sorry for her."

Frag Cat walked over and brushed against his leg. "Hey, let's try to be positive about this. Sure, Apple Bloom couldn't talk to her, but who can stop you from talking to Zecora?"

James nodded slowly in agreement. "Yeah... yeah, you're right. I could talk to her, show the girls that she isn't as bad as they perceive, and dispel the false image that everyone's seeing."

"That's the spirit!" Frag Cat cheered before walking over to the closet and pulling out a box with his paws. "Now, who wants to play Scrabble?"

Upon this proposal, Conscience came out with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Did someone say 'Scrabble'?"

[Three games later...]

Conscience added four tiles to the board. "'Awake'. That's twelve points, times the double word score is twenty four. I seem to be getting all the bonus word tiles," he boasted.

Frag Cat put down five tiles in front of another word. "'Rings' for six points, plus the double letter score on the 'g'... I got eight! Which brings me up to sixty eight," he chirped as he wrote on the parchment being used to keep score. "Okay James, your turn."

Conscience smirked triumphantly. "Might as well give up now. I'm not letting you catch up with me."

Frag Cat rolled his eyes. "You're at one-hundred six. He's only thirty one points behind."

"Exactly. And since my score is going to continue to increase, he's not taking the lead any time soon."

James looked nervous as he looked over the board. His eyes darted around, before looking tensely at his tiles.

Seeing his uncertainty, Conscience quipped, "Wow, luck must not be on your side today..."

Abruptly, James seized all of his tiles and placed it adjacently to the word 'awake', not a trace of his nervous demeanor remaining as he spoke quickly in monotone. "'Seventy'. That's..." he trailed off as he counted the letter values, "Thirteen points, times the triple word score is thirty nine points, plus the new word 'awaken' adding twelve more points to make fifty two. Plus the fifty point bonus for using all seven tiles is one hundred two points, which brings me to a total of one-hundred seventy seven points." He leaned back with an evil grin, basking in the slack-jawed expression on his conscience's face.

Frag Cat held a paw to his mouth to stifle his laughter. He was losing by a landslide, but he was glad to see James enjoying himself.

[The next day, slightly early in the morning...]

James put down one more tile onto the board. "There, that's 'ads' for two-squared points."

Frag Cat yawned for the umpteenth time as he looked at his tiles. "Well, I don't think I can make any more words."

Conscience grumbled as he leaned away from the table. "Same here."

James added the word to his final score. "So Conscience has one-hundred ninety six, Frag Cat has one-hundred fifteen, and I have two-hundred twelve. That's eleven straight games to your six, Conscience. So, you were saying something about luck not being on my side?"

"Yeah yeah, run it back, I want another rematch," Conscience grumbled as he crossed his arms.

"Heh, you're on. Can't turn down a like mind." James stretched, releasing the tension his limbs gathered from sitting still for so long. But he stopped as he started to feel light-headed. "Ugh, right after I get some water."

Frag Cat, who had his head propped up by his paw, nodded halfheartedly as he tried not to nod off.

James wasn't feeling very thirsty, but willed himself to drink a whole glass. He almost finished when he heard a dull thud from the living room. Quickly downing the last of the water, he walked back into the room to see Frag Cat with his head lying face-down on the Scrabble board.

Conscience saw James looking questioningly at the sight and shrugged in equal bemusement. "Don't look at me, he just... collapsed."

"Huh," James mused before Epic Shrugging. "...Well, how about that g***?" his brow furrowed in confusion. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "How about that g***?" He shut his mouth, eyes wide.

Conscience looked at him uneasily. "Um... are you okay? Why are you talking like that...?"

"I d*** kn**!" James exclaimed before quickly covering his mouth.

"Um... have you drank or eaten something you don't usually have lately?"

James silently shook his head.

"Did you do anything unusual...?"

"The only unusual th*** th** h******* recently was when w* m** Z*****," was the reply. James looked very irritated at how badly his speech was impeded.

Conscience paused at how many apparently unintentionally 'censored' words he used in one sentence. "...And you're absolutely sure that Zecora was the only unusual thing you encountered?" Conscience asked, but it was said like a statement. James nodded. "Well then it looks like we're going to have visit Zecora sooner than we thought."

After failing to wake Frag Cat up (without shouting in his ear, since they didn't want to wake up Twilight and Spike), they decided to let him sleep, and left the library, heading into the Everfree Forest.

As Conscience finished telling his story (while leaving out pointless details), Twilight spoke up. "But why wouldn't you tell me you were leaving? I was worried!"

"We left you a note!" Conscience snapped. "I left it on the table right next to your bed! How in the world did you miss it? I specifically told you not to follow us!"

"But why did you have to go alone? Why couldn't we go with you?"

"Because I was afraid something like this would happen!!" he gestured at the disarrayed room. "Sadly enough, we were right to be paranoid! In fact, I don't think we were paranoid enough!!"

"Okay, you don't have to yell!" Rainbow crossed her hooves exasperatedly.

"I'm raging for the both of us," Conscience replied coolly as he gestured to James, who was looking slightly irritated. "Seriously, is Apple Bloom the only rational pony here!?"

This last exclamation caused Applejack to speak up. "Now hold on just a pony-pickin' minute! If Zecora didn't put this curse on us, then what happened?"

"...A flower happened," Conscience answered briefly, his voice level again.

"...What?" Blue Star quirked an eyebrow.

"That's right ladies and gents, all of this," Conscience gestured to the Blue Star and the mares, "is due to a blue plant."

"Oh... you mean this thing?" Delarious reached behind his back as he held a dozing Frag Cat in his other arm, and pulled out a floral beauty that matched the vague description.

"Correct. That plant is apparently called poison joke. And I especially had a feeling something was wrong when I noticed Twilight's horn this morning when I left the note upstairs. Unable to recall any possible reason she, James and Frag Cat had coincidentally underwent some inexplicable change, I thought back on Zecora's parting words to us before she left yesterday. 'Those leaves of blue are not a joke.'"

Zecora nodded. "That plant is much like poison oak. But its results are like a joke."

"What in the hay does that mean?" Applejack asked in confusion.

"It means, that you're under the effects of the poison joke, because you came in contact with it yesterday." Upon Conscience's explanation, Delarious looked at said flower in his hand before quickly tossing it out the window like it was a contagious disease. "Fortunately, it doesn't affect you if it touches your clothes and not your skin." He glared at Applejack as he continued, "Unfortunately, someone was being rude and knocked James over."

"Okay, fine. But what about the cauldron?" Rainbow asked.

"And the chanting?" Fluttershy piped up.

"And the creepy décor?" Rarity added.

As the ponies continued to questions and Zecora willingly answered them, Conscience turned around and inconspicuously went outside to 'cool down.' James Miff Sniffed as he followed suit.

One long explanation and apology (and the assurance to Zecora that Frag Cat did not need any medical attention) later, James, Conscience, Delarious (who carried Frag Cat), and Blue Star sought out for Ponyville along with seven ponies and a zebra.

"Blue Star?" Conscience spoke quietly to the toon who was silently looking at the ground as they walked. "I'm really flattered that you aggressively assaulted someone over us, but please, don't do something that drastic again... at least not unless you're absolutely sure it's a dire situation."

Blue Star sighed, but then shrugged with a smirk. "Hey. No one messes with my big bro... except me and Red X." With another sigh, this one wistful, he looked up at the sky. "Although, me and Delarious are probably gonna have to wait until tomorrow to check out that museum. By the time we have this bath, it'll be to close to closing time."

"Um...," Delarious said uncertainly, "Actually, it's Saturday today. And the museum's not open on Sundays... which would mean we'd have to wait until Monday."

Blue Star groaned loudly. "Darn it! I've been waiting so long for this!"

The trees of the Everfree began to lessen as they walked further, nearing the outskirts of the forest. A colorful variety of many ponies could be seen out and about, doing their usual business or walking along the streets.

Although one particular pony, however, caught James's attention. He tapped Conscience's shoulder, speaking quietly as he pointed at said pony. "Isn't th** Tr****?"

"Who?" Conscience asked in confusion as he followed James's finger. His brows shot up as he noticed who he was pointing at and got an idea of who he was talking about. "That can't be her... can it? Or is that her over there...?" he pointed a similar-looking unicorn walking along the road.

"Who, is it exactly that you're talking about...?" Delarious asked as they were nearing the edge of the town.

"There was this blue unicorn with grey-ish white mane and tail who came to town some time ago. We thought we saw her, but..." Conscience silently gestured respectively to the two ponies they spotted.

Delarious looked around the area, his face scrunching up in bemusement. "Um, could you be more specific? I'm seeing, like five different ponies that fit that description right now."

As James and Conscience followed his gaze, their eyes narrowed in disbelief. "This is just wrong...," Conscience muttered as they entered the town.

"I mean hey," Delarious smirked. "Maybe they're just new to town, and happen to look a lot like her."

Conscience hissed in laughter. "I'm sorry, but even in Equestria, that doesn't sound too likely. Maybe one or two, but this many? I don't see that happening any time soon."

"Same," Blue Star agreed. James Epic Shrugged in agreement.

A series of screams brought their attention back in front of them; the ponies had seen them, more so Zecora and frantically ran into their homes once again.

"...I think a drink is long overdue," Conscience quipped with a deadpan. James Miff Sniffed and nodded.

As the group of twelve approached the first house within reach, Twilight stepped forward and knocked on the door. A familiar pale pink mare with a light lime mane fearfully peeked outside.

"Daisy... we need to talk."

[Later, at the Ponyville Spa...]

Dear Princess Celestia,

My friends and I all learned an important lesson this week: never judge a book by its cover. Someone may look unusual, or funny, or scary. But you have to look past that and learn who they are inside. Real friends don't care what your 'cover' is; it's the 'contents' of a person that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

The spa was a very spacious, homey environment. The particular room the girls were in contained a wooden hot tub, large enough for at least ten ponies to fit with a decent amount of room for themselves. The walls were a pale lavender color, with the exception of the dark brown wall paper that adorned the bottom of the walls that touched the floor. A few white foldable relaxing chairs were set up in a straight line a distance away from the tub, in case someone needed to take a break from the water. A couple of tall, potted plants were in opposite corners against the walls.

Rarity and Fluttershy smiled as they relaxed in the large jacuzzi that was set up for them. Pinkie dived from... above... making a big splash as she landed in the enormous tub. As her head rose from under water, she stuck out her tongue to inspect it; it was 'spotless' again. Twilight joined the pink earth pony in her laughter as she checked her horn, and was very glad to see it was back to normal.

Zecora and Apple Bloom poured more herbs into the bath, sharing a smile through the vases they were holding in their mouths. Rainbow floated into the tub herself with a relaxed sigh after helping make the bath.

One of the spa ponies, a blue earth pony with a pink mane and tail, walked up the zebra and spoke with an accent. "Miss Zecora, I would love to get the recipe for this bath. It's simply luxurious!"

Zecora smiled at the compliment, but then Apple Bloom suddenly exclaimed, "Applejack! Hey, where's Applejack!?"

The question sent the six mares into a panic as they frantically searched the tub.

"Ah'm right here, little sis." They stopped as a voice answered from below, where they looked and saw Applejack, who was laying on top of a separate bath, the tub provided now much too small for her due to her having grown back to her normal size. "Ah ain't tiny no more!"

"Oh!" Rarity exclaimed. "I have never felt so lovely in all my life!"

Pinkie popped out of the water. "Oh, my gosh! I never realized how horrible it is not to be able to talk--" Rainbow exasperatedly covered her ears, "--I mean, I love talking so much, and when I couldn't talk anymore, my tongue was all 'ehhh'. It was the worst! Don't you agree, Fluttershy?"

"......Yes," the yellow pegasus replied, her voice back to it's normal quiet pitch.

The mares shared a laugh, Apple Bloom and Zecora joining in their mirth.

Meanwhile, in a different room, Delarious, Blue Star, and Frag Cat (who was resting his head against the side of the tub) waited impatiently. At least, impatient for Blue Star. Frag Cat had insisted that they wait until James came back. He'd left without explaining what he was doing, but Conscience assured them they wouldn't be long. Blue Star was planning to sneak into the tub when Frag Cat wasn't looking. But Frag Cat threatened to jump in the bath and blast the tub apart if they tried any funny business. They knew he would actually do it, so they begrudgingly sat on the relaxing chairs that were placed near the bath.

"OMG, it's been like three years!" Blue Star threw his arms up in frustration. "Seriously, any day now...!"

"What are y** y****** about?"

The guys turned to the entrance, Frag Cat's tail swishing tiredly as James walked into the room with a gravely serious expression.

"Where were you!?" his younger brother exclaimed. Frag Cat, who was no longer keeping a close eye on him and Delarious, finally surrendered to his fatigue and closed his eyes.

"I h** some b******* to t*** c*** of," James answered vaguely.

"...You know what? I don't even care about whatever it was you just said, you're here now." Without warning, Blue Star stood up and front-flipped into the tub. James Miff Sniffed as he jumped in the tub as well. Delarious simply walked up the small case of stairs, and stepped into the jacuzzi as well.

Naturally, Blue Star was the first to rise from below the surface... flailing wildly and coughing up water. "Ack! Can't swim!" He desperately propelled himself towards the edge and grabbed on with an arm to hold himself up. After sighing in relief, he pumped his fist. "Yes! I'm not a Disney-themed, Pac-Man-eyed, three-dimensional Game and Watch anymore!"

James sighed at the overly descriptive comment as he popped up from under water and leaned against the side of the tub with his arm hanging over the edge. "Yeah, this would be a good alternative over a shot to the head...," he trailed off when suddenly a tape recorder suddenly shot out from the middle of the tub, and onto the floor while playing an ominous tune.

Slowly but gradually, an orange hat emerged from the water followed by Delarious's face and his upper body. He made several random but somewhat fitting sound effects to accommodate the tape recorder. He reached his arms below the water, and went stiff with a grimace and a cry of effort(?). He grit his teeth as he slowly brought his arms back from under the surface. James and Blue Star's eyes widened as he pulled out a running boat motor.

"The letter 'g'!" he exclaimed Cheerfully. James recoiled as he carelessly threw the motor behind him onto the tape recorder with a loud *clank!*, breaking it and cutting it off in mid-song. Frag Cat jolted at the noise, but soon was lulled back into his deep slumber. "It's great to be back," Delarious continued in a dry tone while holding out his arms, as if he was offering a hug. The other two stared at him awkwardly, as no one was within hugging distance. Fortunately, it wasn't long before he dropped his arms and abruptly shot out of the tub, landing at the top of the stairs that led to it.

"And in that case...," he trailed off as he suddenly picked Frag Cat up by his sides. The poor puppycat was unfazed and remained out cold as Delarious swung him back and forth a couple times. "Happy birthday, to YOU!" he tossed Frag Cat high in the air. At his exclamation, Frag Cat drowsily opened his eyes, which widened in confusion as he realized he was in the air and falling. James winced slightly as he fell back-first into the water with a loud smack. It reminded him of when he belly-flopped into a swimming pool as a kid.

After a good ten suspenseful seconds, he quickly emerged and barked twice in his usual chipper manner, no longer showing any signs of drowsiness. "Thank goodness... I hate oversleeping, you miss opportunities that way," the puppycat sighed in relief.

"There, now my day has been more or less made complete," James said as he smiled Cheerfully at the Frag Cat. His smile faded as he continued. "But do you know what would make my day even better...?"

"If we continue our Scrabble war?" Frag Cat suggested eagerly.

"Spot on," James replied.

"How long has it been since we played Scrabble, anyway?" Blue Star spoke up.

"Uh...," James tried to recall the last time he and his brother had a battle of words on the board. "It has been a while hasn't it... you wanna join us?"

Blue Star shrugged. "Well, it's not like we have anything else planned... why not." He smirked as a thought came to him. "We should let Delarious be the commentator."

"Oh my goodness, yes!" James hissed in laughter as he pictured that thought. He smiled towards his cousin. "What do you say, Delarious?" His smile turned crooked as he saw Delarious holding a full chess board game in his hand. He shouted in victory as he moved a random piece before tossing the set behind him.

"Geico: fifteen minutes can save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance," he answered.

James blinked slowly. "...I'll take that as a 'yes'..."

[Later that day...]

The sun was nearing the horizon, the evening sunlight shining well through a lot of the leaves in the trees of the Everfree Forest. Zecora smiled as she made her way home for the day. It was nice to be able to go into the town without it being deserted for once. Her smile turned bittersweet as she approached her hut, seeing the disarray of her belongings made her recall the events that happened earlier that morning. As she got to the door, she noticed a piece of parchment attached to it.

"Hmm, is this a note I see?" she grabbed the parchment and looked at it briefly. "Indeed. But from whom could it be...?" she mused. As she read the note, her smile turned happy once again.

Hey Zecora,

I'm very sorry about what happened with my friends, and especially my brother. In fact, I'm downright upset about it. Although I'm very glad we've finally seen past our differences and cleared this misunderstanding. I'm planning to return tomorrow with a friend to help replace that bed of yours that seemed to have been damaged. I'm also willing to help replace those bottles of potions (or whatever they may be) that were broken during the ordeal. I just think it's only fair that we replace it since we're the ones who broke it.

Sincerely,

James III.

[Ending Song]

Author's Note

[Later at Sugarcube Corner...]

With the nonsense revolving around Zecora over, ponies were going about their business as usual, once again. Sugarcube Corner was no exception, and ponies were lined up for delicious sweets and drinks alike. As Cup Cake took orders at the cash register, Carrot cake was in the kitchen cooking to renew some of their supply in sweets that dwindled as more customers came and gone from their cafe. As he looked at a particular glass case, he noticed something, or lack there of. As he came closer, he saw a bunch of crumbs inside.

The baker sighed in exasperation. He and his wife had just baked those yesterday. Walking to the bottom of the stair case that was outside the kitchen, he called, "Pinkie! Did you eat all of the peanut butter cookies!?"