No-Clop November 2017

The Contestants Gather, Part 2

In the confines of a decades-old clubhouse that was these days more of a private bar-slash-sex shack, three young mares with matching cutie marks sat in a circle facing one another with intense expressions.

“Okay, girls. Let’s face facts: we fell short last year.”

“Way short.”

“Some of us comically so.”

“Screw you.”

“Ah bet you wanted to.”

“Girls! Focus! Now listen. We’ve got to do better this time, all of us.”

“Easy for you to say, you almost made it, Sweetie.”

“Yeah, if’n ya hadn’t bucked it up with knocking out Big Mac you probably woulda made it.”

“I didn’t think Spike would retaliate that hard!”

“Dude, bro code is some sacred shit to them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they aim to knock you out first this year.”

“W-what? They can’t still be mad about that! They wouldn’t!”

“They might.”

“C’mon, don’t scare her like that, Scootaloo, Nightmare Night ain’t til tomorrow.”

“Just saying. Plus, the crusaders’ ranks are gonna be smaller this time around. Support’s gonna be down a bit.”

“Oh, yeah, dang, Ah wish Babs coulda made it this year.”

“Eh, I dunno, it’s probably for the best. I mean, she made me lose right next to her.”

“Oh yeah…”

“Besides, if anypony needs to be better this year it’s you, Bloom, you just up and quit all on your own.”

“Ah did not! Applejack went an’ accosted me--”

“Pfft, don’t feed me that line again, you totally let it happen.”

“Look, shut up, both of you, it doesn’t matter! None of that matters! This year we’re gonna do better! All of us! Together! We are gonna do everything in our power to prop each other up, cool each other down, and carry each other to the finish line, because by Celestia, I am going to taste Spike’s dick this year if it’s the last thing I ever do!”

“…Wow, Ah guess we know what she’s after.”

“Still.”

“Quiet! Now are you all with me?”

“Oh, well yeah, duh.”

“A’course, jeez, calm down Sweetie, it’s just a little friendly riffing.”

“Okay. Good. Alright then! Crusaders, together!”

Three spit-shined hooves clapped together and shook, and the three mares swiftly put their heads together to formulate a plan.

“Well, Rainbow, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

“Uhh… whichever, I don’t care,” Rainbow Dash muttered distractedly. She was currently writhing on the floor of her living room with her head propped up against her couch cushions, her wings stretched out to her sides and one hoof buried between her thighs, swirling gratuitously. “Ffffuck, that’s good…”

“…Are you sure you don’t want me to come back later?”

“Hey, you said it was a good idea to work it out of my system as much as I can before we get started! Well, I’ve got a lot to work out, I don’t care if somepony sees!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look, egghead, I’m listening, okay? I swear. Just spit it out already. Start with the bad news, I guess.”

Twilight Sparkle clicked her tongue in disapproval, tapping quill to clipboard in her magic. “Fine. The bad news is, Spitfire replied and says she can’t come this year.”

“Oh, what?!” Rainbow shouted, leaping to her hooves and jabbing the messy one at Twilight. “Weak! Why not?!”

Twilight rolled her eyes, but smiled; at least that had gotten her to stop. “She wanted to, she really did, but apparently, three other Wonderbolts are on the invite list, and she can’t let too many core members take time off all at once. So she’s staying behind this time so the rest of you can have fun.”

“Aww, lame…” Rainbow pouted. “I really wanted her to--…” Rainbow froze and gave Twilight a side-eye. “Wait, what was that last part?”

“That last part was the good news. Your other two invitees are confirmed for attending.”

Rainbow’s wings snapped upward again. “You mean…?!”

As if on cue there was a knock on Rainbow’s door, and without waiting for an invitation, Twilight smirked and pulled it open.

Rainbow yelped and hastily wiped her hoof clean behind the couch. “S-Soarin! Thunderlane! Hey!”

“Hey, Crash!” Soarin answered, smiling and trotting inside alongside Thunderlane, both stallions still decked out in full Wonderbolt attire. “Not late, are we?”

“Not at all,” Twilight answered. “You’ve still got all of Nightmare Night to relax before we get started.”

“Awesome,” Thunderlane said, idly sniffing the air. “…Huh, hey, that scent… is that--?”

“Rainbow Dash, yes,” Twilight confirmed. “She was just enjoying herself.”

“Twilight! Shut up!” Rainbow hissed.

Twilight smirked at her. “What? I thought you didn’t care if somepony saw?”

Rainbow ground her teeth and seethed.

“Haha, it’s cool, Crash,” Soarin assured her. “Sounds like good strategy, actually! Get it done while you can! Maybe all of us should, uh…?”

“As a matter of fact,” Twilight cut in, “if you’d all like to stop back at the castle with me before you, ah, ‘help yourselves,’ I’m actually going to need to require it.”

Rainbow’s anger vanished. “…Say what.”

Twilight gave her a cryptic smile. “You’ll see.”

The other three ponies all looked at each other confusedly, but Twilight didn’t elaborate, and instead flew off out Rainbow’s front door toward her castle.

“So, uh. Should we follow her?” Thunderlane asked, eyeing Soarin.

“After a smile like that? I’m kinda scared to.”

“…Don’t worry guys, it’s just Twilight,” Rainbow assured the boys. “I’m… eighty percent sure it’s something harmless.”

“What do you think she meant, then?”

“What, about wanting us to get ourselves off before we start?”

“I dunno,” Rainbow admitted, and then gave them both a playful smile. “Buuuuut, maybe once we find out, can help each other out with it…”

Both boys perked up instantly.

“I could go for that.”

“Me too.”

Rainbow grinned wide. “Well alright then! Let’s go catch up to the egghead!”

The three pro fliers stepped outside with a shared nod and a few hoof-bumps, and in a matter of seconds they were a flashy blur across Ponyville’s skyline, leaving a very irritated purple princess in their dust.