Just rename that to vodka
It was a cold night on Ponyville. Enthusiasm, glory, fears, anxiety. This and more feelings hanged in the air, tempting the townsfolk’s to make reckless things…
And the ones more fragile for this harsh environment were the ones victims of stupefacient's, be it by medicine, mental conditions, hardships of life, or drugs; those weak poor souls were the more fragile on this kind of nights.
Just like a drunk human, one of a kind in this world, or to be more precise the only one of his kind in this particular world known as Equus.
A human that was kidnaped by mistake from his homeland, that one was enough reasons for this man to drink like there was no tomorrow to live for. But that, however, was not his actual reason.
“Hey, dude…” the man said, “give me another one of those, ah... I don’t know, the one that tastes like vodka…”
“I told you the name of the drink fifteen times already,” the bartender announced, a light brown stallion with matching mane and a white stripe that traveled from the tip of his nose to the end of his forehead.
“And I keep forgetting it! Stop putting some weird names to your drinks!” the man shouted, his fist hitting the table. “Just give me that damn juice made by the gods.”
The bartender sighted in annoyance, his eyes rolling to the side as he prepared another glass for the human, “Jeez, this is getting ridiculous, are you sure you don’t want to ta-”
“You are not worthy!” The man exclaimed. An action that earned from the bartender stallion another sight of the many he had made throughout the night.
As the bartender finished to serve the drink, the door of the den opened wildly, a young dragon walked to the man on the other end, earning the stares and ogles from the mares inside the place with each step.
“There you are, Benjamin,” The dragon said before placing his claw on the man’s shoulder, “We have been searching for you. Twilight told me that you made a havoc on your way outside!” he exclaimed. “Will you tell me what happened? Is everything alright?”
Benjamin snapped to the dragon, firstly in fear because the dark purple scales made the creature hard to see through the dim lights. His face traveled up as he noticed that the drake was as tall as himself, “wow, a dragon~” he moaned.
“Eh? It’s me! Your frien-” were the only words heard by the man, as his consciousness crumbled and he faded away, it seemed like his last quick movement left a dazzling effect on him.
“Hey, Benjamin!” The dragon made him snap back. “Bro, you need to stop drinking,”
“What? Did you just- are you trying to pull off a man from his drink?” He asked with a stern tone, his hand motioning the bartender to give him another shot. “Are you nuts or something?” the man retorted. “Back on my planet, there were some countries in which you could get killed if you dared to do that.”
The dragon crossed his brow at the man’s statement, “Wait, what? That does not sound nice, or even sane to begin with.”
“That’s because humans are fucked up, man… no I mean drake,” Benjamin said, the sound of a new glass placed on the counter making him turn his eyes to the table, “fucking finally!” He exclaimed in joy. The bartender just huffed, an irritated expression on his face as he poured the content of the bottle on the glass
“Benjamin, have some manners!”
“Screw you, I don’t even know you,” Benjamin said before taking a sip from his glass.
The dragon backed off slightly, his jaw mildly agape, “That was really mean, Ben… I know that we know each other for less than a month, but my intentions are clear, I want to befriend you.”
Benjamin tilted his head, noticing in the process that the green spikes on the dragons head traveled all the way down to his shovel-shaped end of his tail. “Wait, do we know each other?” he asked, “damn, buddy, sorry, it must be the drinks… you know what?” he pointed to the dragon, “I will compensate you.”
Benjamin took another sip from his drink. “You know, everyone here has been asking me why I’m here drinking like a madman. But I just told them that they were not worthy,” he chuckled. “Truth is that I just didn’t felt like talking to anyone. But you will be an exception, and to be honest, there is something in you that, I don’t know, I just like you.”
The dragon crossed his brow, “huh… well, sure. Go on, I’m all fins,” he proposed before searching a chair to sit on.
“You see… at first most peo- ponies. Most ponies. They would have thought that it could be because I lost my friends and family, after all, they loved me and I loved them just as much,” He started explaining, his hand then motioning to the bartender, “others, like our fine stallion here, thought that maybe I was distraught because I lost the chance to get back to my world.”
“Then what-“The dragon mouth got tapped by a finger of the human.
“Do you know what I did when I discovered that this place had magic? I said fuck them! Fuck them all! I want magic, sweet overpo-”
“Benjamin, your manners!” The dragon reprimanded.
“Stop with that, you cultured swine~,” he said while gritting his teeth. “Let. Me. finish.” He paused abruptly, his eyes opening widely as smile formed in his face, “God... haha, I had forgotten how good it feels to talk while drunk. Screw you, ponies! You were not worthy enough to make me talk!”
The dragon sighed at the man antics, “Then, move on… what-” The dragon was silenced again by the man’s hand, which made his purples scales rustle in a menacing manner. He breathed heavily and composed himself before hearing his friend next words.
“Well, you see, Mr. D, thing is that humans are really new to this world, and this world has its own rules about how much magic each creature has, but I am an undefined variable, so magic is a nono until wormbook pony finds a way to make me a wizard without exploding myself or the whole world in the process…”
“So…” the dragon motioned him to continue, his chin resting on his left claw.
“Well I felt devastated at first, but that feeling didn’t last long. There was another idea that popped into my mind, which was knowing the wonders of this world, the different races, the cultures, the story. A whole new world for me to explore and learn! A dream come true for any explorer or scientist in my world!” he paused his eyes glaring down grimly, “Until I found out that there are mother-”
“Don’t you dare,” the dragon pointed a menacing finger to Benjamin.
“Fine, okay fine…” he exclaimed while holding his hands in the air, “‘there are’ stupid monsters in every corner of Equestria. Happy now Mr. Good manners?” The dragon nodded, “Good. Now: The only thing that keeps the monsters away from civilization are this thing called ‘harmony’ magic, and that secret service that I just know because they tried to send me to Tartar-“He started to bent backwards as an awestruck smile formed on his face. Then he laughed, breathed heavily and laughed again. “God damn! Tartarus! I mean, you even have hell here! More than that, you use it as a prison, for god’s sake these cute little ponies are awesome!” Benjamin raised his half-filled glass, “Ponies I don’t know how you do it but you earned some of my respect with that!” he shouted before drinking the whole content of the recipient.
The man then sighed, humming in delight as the warm liquid traveled down to his organs. “Go- no, wait, there is a god here but is not the one who rules the place…” Benjamin said before getting stuck inside his thoughts.
“Benjamin, it’s getting late and you should be in the castle,” the dragon said.
“Come on, stop being a party popper… let me finish at least.”
The dragon sighed once again, his head going back as he said: “Alright, go on, let’s end this whole thing so I can take you home.”
“That’s the spirit! Now where was I?” he trailed off for a couple of seconds. “Oh, right! You see... after all, my hopes got shattered… well delayed, but you know my point: once I get ‘da magics’, I can go wherever I’m pleased,” he paused before releasing a huge erupt. “Okay, so, after I got crossed by destiny, I told myself: ‘Well, at least I can ask Twilight to give me some wings’, I mean, I have this big dream of being able to fly since my childhood. So I asked her to make me some wings so I could spend my time flying and doing other awesome stuff.”
“Another ‘nono’?”
“The last ‘nono’ I got from her,” he answered before letting his limbs fall in defeat. “That was my limit, I wanted to be positive about all the previous things but every time I asked for this world to give me something neat he gave me the finger instead.”
“Hey, don’t be so rough with Equestria, it gave you some good friends to begin with, all the awesome things will come later,” the drake assured with a warm smile before adding, “Besides, you don’t need to travel to far to know a lot of this world, I suppose you still want to know more about how this world works, you said your whole life was discovering and classifying new things, right?.”
“Seems like you really know me…” Benjamin said impressed, the dragon just rolled his eyes as a response, “Well, yeah, I’m a scientist. Curiosity is our signature mark, so this place is like a mine of diamonds for me.”
“There are a lot of those in this world,” the dragon commented before Benjamin waved his hand to the bartender, which made him smile before releasing a relieved sigh.
“Well, Mr. D. I need to be serious about something, if I don’t keep talking am going to fall to the floor… seems like I reached my limit, but talking someway prevents me from collapsing.”
“Dude, that doesn’t sound good…” the dragon argued with a soft carrying tone.
“Don’t give me that ‘bro, I'm worried for you’ bullshit,” He exclaimed, “Just listen to what I have to say, okay? I have been here for a whole month but I feel like no one will listen to my discoveries, well… that, or maybe I just felt a little shy about telling them…” Benjamin shook his head from left to right, “It doesn’t matter.”
The dragon hummed for a moment, his claw scratching his chin, “you changed,” He arched a brow, “You seem to be more serious and… sane, now.”
“Don’t worry I will get my times to be a moron later, it’s just the alcohol kicking in,” The man explained before taking a huge breath, “So, what do you say? Are you going to listen to me?”
The dragon just shrugged, nodding two times as a response.
Benjamin smiled with glee, his brown eyes shining vividly, “Awesome-possum, let’s get this speech done, and start with! … ah…” He looked to his right, a black pegasus glancing back at him out of curiosity, “Pegasi, the masters of air control!”
The dragon arched a brow before crossing his arms, “What did you found special about them?”
“You see my little draconic friend, unlike the pegasi depicted on the books from my world as legends or myths, the ones from this world have little wings, really little if you compare it with their body’s proportion. At first, I just thought they just had a lot of stamina and that was how they managed to fly” He paused, his hand taking a bit from his pocket, “Hey, you, the black one with the gray mane!”
“Excuse me?” The dark Pegasus said, his tone heavy, a hint of anger spiced his voice as he added, “I have a name, you know? I meet you yesterday and everythi-”
“Bla, Bla, Bla. Listen, dude, I can’t even remember what I eat this morning, now make us a favor and do a backflip while flying, I’ll pay you one bit for it”
The Pegasus huffed while climbing off of his chair, “That’s two bits for you”
“Cheeky mother… okay…” Benjamin tossed two bits to the stallion, who saved them in his mane before flapping his wings and going airborne.
“Look at that, he made enough impulse to get to the air” Benjamin started, his words following the actions of the Pegasus, “and now he is creating enough force to turn backward quickly, just before he flaps his wings again to maintain himself in place. All of this in a quick motion, But most importantly, without disturbing the objects in the place!” he suddenly exclaimed, “That is the whole thing Mr. Drake, you see, that stallion didn’t just make a stunt, he altered his surroundings in order to make that stunt!”
“What do you mean?”
“Magic, that is what I mean, Pegasus magic can alter space related things, be it the same laws of physics or the elements present in the air, That is why he created enough force around him without disturbing all the delicate things inside this pub. All I know for sure is that in order to fly with their tiny wings, pegasi need enough magic to make their environment more easy to use for travel”
“Well… breaking the laws of physics will explain how Rainbow Dash is able to make those stunts at neck-breaking speed… or…”
“How she is able to break the speed of sound and keep moving at that same speed without the same effort?” The man added, earning another nod from the dragon. “Yeah that’s true, but now that we started with this, let’s talk about the next kind of ponies, the unicorns… nah they are boring, their magic is concentrated on their minds so they only need to follow strict algorithms in order to make something happen.”
“That is one of the first things I knew while I helped Twilight with her studies…” The dragon added, his eyes glancing up as if he tried to remember something, “but algorithms… that is a new word for me.”
“You are taking this whole thing pretty well, you are really good hearing people out, Mr. D.”
“Yeah, Rarity used to tell me that a lot… especially when she breaks up with somepony or a new company makes a bad review of her dresses…” the dragon commented, his eyes trailing down, just like his expression. He snapped back to the man after noticing his sleepy expression, “Hey bro, keep talking now, don’t you left me hanging on this cliff.”
“Oh. R-Right!” He blurted before recomposing his posture. “The earth ponies, those are the special ones. Oh boy, I have to admit, I’m still learning how their magic works, but in the meantime, I got this: While unicorns and pegasi have specified parts for magic stuff, Earth ponies use their whole body as their magic conduct. I still don't know how this affects their magic power, but I do know something for sure: since their magic is commanded by so many different variables at the same time, it makes most of their spells unpredictable, even chaotic. Because of this, I dare to believe that they are the most dangerous of all three races…”
… The whole place went on silent for a moment. A slight snicker breaking the tension seconds later before another one followed, then another one, then a full laugh, two, three.
“The kindest and more earth related of all races being the more destructive one? Human you are drunk go home!” Somepony shouted before everyone started to laugh…
And so they laughed for minutes of no end, Benjamin just shrugged and let the moment pass… until someone laughed maniacally, which made the whole place go silent. The kind of silence spiced with shame and disgust.
“Sorry…” said a random pony from the crowd.
“Goddammit, Gum Steak this is the third time you screw a good laughter scene.”
Benjamin raised his eyelids, his face turning to the crowd, “Hey, who was the one who said that?” He shouted, his eyes witnessing a cyan earth pony running out of the place, breaking the wall instead of using the door on his way outside, “Oh no, you just can’t break that wall and think you will get away with it!”
Benjamin climbed up to his feet and ran to the front door his march clumsy and someway funny to watch from the distance. After a rough and struggling ten seconds, he reached and opened the entrance door before stopping abruptly, his body stiff from the point of view of the dragon.
“I guess you los-” the drake was interrupted by the disturbing sound of bile and food being splattered, Benjamin was throwing everything he had. “Sweet Celestia…” he turned to the bartender pony, “how much does he owe you?”
“B. paid me in advance so don’t worry, I’ll put the rest on your account, go and take that bastard home.”
The dragon nodded, his strode calm as he made his way to his friend before being called by the bartender once again.
“Try to convince him to not get in here for a while, a scientist can have as much alcohol in his system before trying to become mad!” he exclaimed before adding with a mocking tone. “And I don’t want to be the reason behind another supervillain.”
The dragon had made his way to the human while the bartender rambled his goodbyes. He approached Benjamin, patting his back softly before asking:
“Are you still holding up, Ben?”
“Not quite, I’ll need you to give me a hand...” Benjamin waited for the drake to take his arm but he just stood dumbfounded beside him, “hands, hooves, claws, talons. They are the goddamn same thing!”
The dragon snapped, “Oh, right, right, sorry… is just that we don’t get to see many hands around here…” he apologized sheepishly before letting Benjamin’s right arm rest on his shoulder, “You are way less heavy than I thought…”
Benjamin glared at the dragon unamused, “Really? You are a dragon, you can lift a whole house if you wanted” he argued, the right side of his body now resting on the dragon.
“I don’t think anypony will like to see me playing ball with their house” the drake refuted before he stepped forward, Benjamin following his pace.
It took the drugged man a considerable time to keep the pace without clumsily missing a step or two but after he managed to follow the drake's pace he started to talk once again.
“Your race is also curious though, dragons are strong, dexterous, and they can breathe fire… and, and, you have a really long lifespan.”
“Well that is just the usual, have you found something interesting about my kind?”
As if the man was waiting for that question, his face brightened, a joyful but at the same time disturbing smile now present on his face before he looked at his friend with determination burning in his eyes.
“Of course I have! There is this special case of a dragon that is like no other in this whole world! His name is Spike,”
The drake arched a brow to Benjamin, “Really? Never heard of him,” he snickered slightly, “what is so special about him?”
Benjamin jumped in place at the question, joy consuming him as if his next speech were for a scientific award. “Well you see, first of all, he has magic, not the usual static and logistic magic or the weird chaotic magic. His magic has life, he had explained it to me before, how his magic doesn’t need formulas nor patrons or memories, he just needs to tell his flame what to do or where to go, well that was his brief explanation but…” he paused, his lungs filling once again with fresh air as he breathed deeply.
“Truth is that his magic is not the only one to be someway alive. Harmony magic. That, kind, of, magic” he pointed out while stabbing the rock-solid body of the dragon with his finger, “has the same ability.”
“Why are you so sure?” the dragon questioned before turning left, the sight of the plaza before them, “after all, Harmony magic doesn’t have an owner, that magic just appears out of nowhere and make things happen… and if I remember well he has a green flame, not a multicolored one”
“Those are not the points I’m connecting, you see, the important thing about that magic is that one!” he held a finger in the air, “they can move and … and… ” He sneezed, “sorry, where was I? Oh right, they can move and live out of their owner. Two: they are powerful enough to handle time space-related spells, like time traveling or in the case of Spike, manipulate his own body age. Three…”
… The man started to hum in thought.
“Stupid brain of mine… I just forgot what the third important thing was,” he said before noticing the castle up ahead.
“Well we are almost there, our friends must be really worried about you,” The dragon said with an earnest smile.
“Yeah, ponies have a really special bond with everyone they met… They are really good friends…” Benjamin blushed,” especially Spike…”
The odd tone of Benjamin last words made the drake furrow his brow, “What do you mean?”
“Can you hold a secret? You seem like a really confident guy,” Benjamin said in a hushed tone.
“Ah… yeah, sure.”
“I have a crush on that tiny dragon,” Benjamin whispered to the drake.
… The dragon stood agape at the human’s confession. His jaw moved but words failed him. After some time, obviously uncomfortable, he patted his cheeks and recomposed himself.
“Are you? I thought you were…”
“What? Wait no, of course not!” Benjamin exclaimed, “I just have a crush on Spike that definitively doesn’t make me a homo! For fuck's sake…”
The dragon stood dumbfounded for a second, shrugging it off soon after as his expression turned annoyed, “okay, that’s enough bullshitery for a day” He stated, his claw pinching a sensitive nerve near the man’s neck which made him blackout. Once unconscious, the drake grabbed Benjamin bride-style and kept walking.
As the drake made his way to the castle, his body started to change and shrink in size, his appearance now reminiscent of a teenager, almost half the size of Benjamin.
“I need to convince mom to make a rule about dragons and clubs… To transform every time I want some booze is becoming a pain in my as-”
The dragon shocked his head left and right, “No! No swearing or bad words!” He reprimanded himself, his eyes stopping on the human resting on his hold, “I need to teach you some manners…”
“hehe… Spike” Benjamin spoke unconsciously.
Spike backed off in disgust. “Scratch that, I need to get you to know some mares first,” he said, the castle door now in front of him.
He reached for the knob and opened the door, earning the sight of a lavender Alicorn mare resting on the floor, books surrounded with a purple aura were floating around her as her eyes traveled from one book to the next one.
“Oh, you arrived! And you found Benjamin too,” she announced cheerfully, her tail shifting slightly as a way for her body to show her joy.
“Yeap, I found him in the club; he had several drinks for what I know. I think he will be fine by tomorrow, he just needed some drinks and a little talk… got anything about him?”
The expression on the mare furrowed, her dark purple hair covering her eyes in the process before she sighed “Nope… he is one of a kind for sure… but I will keep searching!” she concluded, a vigorous flame burning in his eyes.
“That’s the Twilight I know!” The dragon smiled warmly, “Let me bring our guy to his room, and maybe some buckets, just in case he took more than what he bargained for,” he said before turning to the right hall that leaded to the bedrooms, “I’ll send a letter to mom and then call it a da-“
“Can you go to my room instead?” Twilight asked with a calm tone, her eyes stuck on the books around her. “I went through a rollercoaster of books today while trying to find something about him,” She turned to the drake, "I think a good body pillow will be the best for me tonight…” she added.
“Sure thing, Twilight,” he said on his way out of the hall.
“Thanks, Love you Spike,” Twilight added cheerfully.
“Love you Twi,” he responded in the same way as her.
“Love you... Spike,” Benjamin whispered while asleep, “no homo though.”
… Spike glared at the man, confusion ever present on his expression.
“What the buck is wrong with this human?”
