Hope

by Portmeirion

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Fluttershy, Cheerilee, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 17785

Fluttershy seeks help from her friends to express her feelings for Big Macintosh.

Ever since Hearts and Hooves Day, Fluttershy has harbored a secret crush on Big Macintosh, but keeping it to herself has caused her to fall into a terrible cycle of depression. When she finally gets an opportunity to tell him how she feels, she jumps at the chance...though she may need a little help.

Published 2012-07-19 18:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-12 17:10:48 UTC

Chapter 1

All things considered, Big Macintosh and Cheerilee’s relationship ended on rather amicable terms. They were no less friendly to one another than they had been beforehoof; in fact, if anything, they were friendlier still. Cheerilee made a point to see her ex-coltfriend once or twice a week when she came to town shopping for apples, and their conversation was always pleasant and never awkward. The two still met from time to time over coffee to talk about school business, farm business, or no business at all – just casual, friendly chatter. But friendly chatter was all it was. They had come to see that there was nothing more between them than a simple, happy friendship, and they were both content to leave it as such.

Their friends, they were pleased to discover, shared in their contentment. Those closest to them just wanted them to be happy, and if they were truly happier as just friends then that was fine by them. Not everypony was quite as thrilled about the situation, though – there were quite a few stallions who had hoped for a messy breakup, so that they could swoop in and rescue a heartbroken Cheerilee from the throes of despair. But aside from a few resentful suitors, things seemed to be going very well for the happy new ex-couple, and it didn’t take long for what little stir their breakup had caused to die quietly down.

Within a few days, Big Macintosh had settled back into his old routine as though his romance with Cheerilee had never occurred. He actually found work on the farm a little easier without all the concerns of a relationship cluttering his thoughts. “It’s kinda nice, really,” he would always answer when asked about the breakup. “Took a little while to get back in the swing of things, but it really ain’t bad bein’ single. Just gives me more time to focus on the farm, and on my family.” And he meant it, too – Big Mac was truly a family stallion, and his granny and sisters would always be first in his heart, the way he figured.

So it was that on a calm, breezy afternoon in mid-spring he found himself returning to the old grind with ease. He moved from tree to tree, knocking down bucketfuls of apples with each kick, his mind clear of all diversions and totally immersed in his task. He was so focused on his work that he never once realized that he was being watched.

Fluttershy stood sheltered in the shadows of a particularly large apple tree. She was quite some distance away from the red earth pony – far enough that he wasn’t likely to notice her, unless he was actively looking for her. But she could see him well enough. For almost a full minute she stood and watched him as he worked, keeping as still as possible so as not to catch his attention.

Soon he passed out of sight, moving on to another part of the orchard, having gathered all the apples he could from this area. The second he left, Fluttershy slumped against the nearest apple tree and hung her head, blushing furiously.

She felt pathetic. Spying on Big Macintosh while he worked – what foalish behavior! And yet here she was, chasing after her longtime crush like a little schoolfilly. She took several slow, measured breaths and made a concerted effort to relax. It didn’t work: her heart still raced, her stomach still fluttered, her blush deepened. So she tried talking to herself.

“Oh, what am I going to say to him?” she said aloud, albeit very softly. “I…I suppose I could just ask him how he’s doing, and maybe that could lead to talking about Cheerilee…and maybe that could lead to my asking him if…if he…if I could…” she trailed off. She couldn’t bring herself to say it even when nopony was listening. Pathetic indeed.

A pair of pink saddlebags rested against the tree at Fluttershy’s side. She reached into one of them and produced a book: her diary, which she had lately taken to carrying with her at all times. Thoughts seemed to spring into her mind quite often these days, thoughts she wanted desperately to share with someone; but she was still far too shy to discuss her secret with anypony, even her best friends. Her dear diary would have to do for the time being.

Taking a pen in her mouth, she flipped through the book to the first blank page and began to write:

Dear Diary,

It has been one week since you-know-who and you-know-who-else broke up. I was going to talk to him yesterday, but…oh, I just couldn’t! It seemed too soon. Do you think it’s still too soon? Maybe I should wait another day….

Oh, what does it matter, anyway? I could wait for months and I still wouldn’t know what to say to him. I’ve never dated anypony before and I don’t know how to ask someone out. It all just seems so hopeless….

I’ve started thinking about talking to someone – other than you, I mean. Of course, I’m always glad to talk to you, but sometimes I just wish I had someone else. I really, really don’t mean to hurt your feelings, Diary, but it would be nice to talk with somepony who really listens to me. I don’t mean to say that you aren’t a good listener, it’s just that…oh, dear. Never mind.

Fluttershy spat the pen from her mouth and looked back over what she had written. The way her mind tended to wander when she wrote, she often found herself saying things to her diary that she hadn’t known she was thinking. Now was such a time. Was she really ready to talk to somepony about her crush? Her face darkened in contemplation.

No. No, she just couldn’t. Maybe, eventually, someday, she could spill her heart to a close friend – Rarity, probably, or Twilight, or maybe even Applejack – but not yet. After all, she’d only been in love with Big Mac for…how long, now?

That thought gave her pause. Just how long had it been since that awful Hearts and Hooves Day? It didn’t feel like very long, but Fluttershy couldn’t be sure. Time, as she perceived it, had melted into an emotional blur, each day nearly indistinguishable from the previous; and all of them were spent pining and longing and trying to fill her empty heart with idle distractions. The date often went neglected in favor of more pressing concerns. She hadn’t even bothered to date most of her diary entries; it just didn’t seem important to her.

Curiosity took hold of her and she flipped back through the pages. At length she came across the entry she’d been searching for:

Dear Diary,

I know we haven’t spoken in a very long time, but this is kind of a special occasion and I just wanted someone to talk to. I’d try talking to my friends, but…I just can’t. I wouldn’t know how to say it. It would be so embarrassing. But I know I can always talk to you. You won’t laugh at me or make fun of me.

Tomorrow is Hearts and Hooves Day. Every year since I came to Ponyville, I’ve spent Hearts and Hooves Day at home by myself. Well…not really by myself. I have Angel Bunny, of course, and sometimes my friends stop by to visit me, but it’s not the same as having a special somepony to spend the day with. I’m not really lonely, I don’t think…well, maybe just a little. But I know what I can do to change that.

I’m going to ask Big Macintosh if he would like to be my special somepony, if only for the holiday. He’s so kind and sweet, and it would mean a lot to me if he said yes. I’ve been thinking about him a lot recently – do you…do you think that means I’m…I’m…that he…that I….

The writing after that point grew quite shaky and nigh-illegible. Fluttershy smiled in reminiscence. She remembered just how she had felt when she wrote that entry: uncertain, frightened, and more than a little excited. Indeed, it was the first time in her life she could remember feeling scared and actually liking it; it was a good kind of scared, the kind that told her that something new and amazing was about to happen.

Her face fell. “But it didn’t happen,” she said softly to herself, remembering what had happened next. She turned to the next entry:

Dear Diary,

Today is the day. Today is the day. If I just keep telling myself that, I’m sure I can do it. Today is the day.

I have a plan, sort of. I’m just going to go to Sweet Apple Acres, find Big Macintosh, and…tell him something. I don’t know what I’m going to say yet. But I’ve decided that I have to say something. Maybe I’ll just come right out and ask him to…if he would like…well, you know. Oh dear, I hope I’ll be able to say it when I actually see him. If I can’t even say it to you, Diary, how will I ever be able to say it to Big Macintosh? I’m really worried….

No. I can’t let anything stop me. Today is the day. Today is the day. Today is the day.

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she flipped over to the next day’s entry:

Dear Diary,

Yesterday wasn’t the day. And neither is today. And tomorrow won’t be the day either.

Big Macintosh already found a special somepony. It’s Cheerilee. Not me. Not Fluttershy.

I’m really happy for him. They seem happy together. Cheerilee is so nice. I’m sure things will work out wonderfully for them.

I…I just wish that I…that I….

The entry ended there; Fluttershy hadn’t been able to bring herself to write anything more. A few tearstains dotted the page.

After that point, the entries were all more or less the same: broken, unfinished musings and sad secrets. She could hardly bear to read them again. As she counted through the daily entries, it struck her just how long it had been since that dreadful holiday. Two full months had passed between Hearts and Hooves Day and the previous week, when Big Mac and Cheerilee had broken up. It was almost staggering how much time she had let slip down the drain, wallowing in her solitary depression.

Fortunately, the entries grew much less gloomy after that. Fluttershy had felt terribly conflicted when she’d first heard about the breakup: part of her was sad for him that his relationship hadn’t worked out; another part was happy that she now had a chance with him; and still a third part felt guilty about the second part feeling happy. Eventually, she had decided to ignore her guilt and take a chance while she still had one…which is how she ended up here, spying shamelessly on Big Macintosh and unable to bring herself to talk to him. Again: pathetic.

The sound of hooves striking a trunk echoed across the orchard, jarring Fluttershy from her memories. She perked up; Big Mac hadn’t quite left the area yet! She could still catch him if she tried. It didn’t matter what had happened in the past two months – today could still be the day! Mustering every last ounce of confidence her soul had to offer, Fluttershy rose to her hooves and –

“*Yaaaawwwnn*.”

“Eeeep!”

A sudden loud yawn from somewhere overhead prompted the already-tense pegasus to release a nervous squeak and tense up even further. She dropped to her knees and trembled, eyes squeezed shut in terror. Had she been found out? Had Big Macintosh seen her? Oh, how embarrassing….

“Oh, hey Fluttershy! You okay down there?”

That voice – it wasn’t Big Mac. Fluttershy timidly raised her eyes. A cyan-coated, rainbow-maned pegasus was sitting in the tree, on a large branch just above her head. A pillow was situated against the trunk; she must have been napping.

“Oh…h-h-hi, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy replied. She stood up, embarrassed to have been so spooked by nothing. She took a deep breath and composed herself as best she could. “Yes, I’m just fine.”

“Really? You seem kinda nervous.” Rainbow glided down from the tree and landed at her friend’s side. “More than usual, I mean. What’s up?”

“Oh, it’s…it’s nothing. It’s just I, uh…I….”

“Hey, what’s that?” Rainbow interrupted. Something behind Fluttershy had caught her eye, and she walked around her for a better look.

Fluttershy turned around to see what had gotten Rainbow’s attention. At once her eyes widened in stark terror – she had left her diary lying on the ground, and open to today’s entry, no less!

“Oh, it’s nothing!” she said, frantically scrambling to block her friend’s view of the book. Fluttershy trusted Rainbow with her life, but not with her darkest secrets.

Rainbow tried to nudge her way around the other pegasus. “No really, what is it? Lemme see.”

“It’s nothing, really!” Fluttershy moved back and forth in a desperate attempt to keep Rainbow at bay. “I mean, it’s nothing that…I mean, you shouldn’t…I, uh….”

At last the cyan pegasus caught a good glimpse of the book. “Is that…is that your diary?” she asked.

Fluttershy nodded sadly.

“Aw, c’mon, Fluttershy! You can trust me. I’m not gonna go blabbing your secrets all over Ponyville. What don’t you want me to know?”

“It’s really, really nothing, Rainbow! I just…it’s….”

As if on cue, another loud knock came echoing from across the fields as Big Macintosh bucked another tree. The sound broke Fluttershy’s train of thought and brought a blush to her face once again. She tried to hide behind her mane, but it was too late – Dash had seen it.

Rainbow looked in the direction from whence the sound had come: she could see Big Macintosh bucking apples on a hilltop some distance away. The gears in her mind whirred as she glanced back and forth between the stallion, her friend, and the open diary; and then all at once it struck her what was going on.

She grinned. Actually, it was really more of a smirk. Whatever it was, she directed it right at Fluttershy and it made the yellow pegasus feel very uncomfortable. “Oh ho, Fluttershy,” said Rainbow, still smirking. “Hoping to catch Big Macintosh on the rebound, huh?”

“No! I mean, well…yes, but…I…I mean…oh dear oh dear oh dear….” Fluttershy turned aside, her face totally obscured by her long pink mane. This was almost as bad as being found out by Big Mac himself.

Rainbow’s smile softened just a tad. “Hey, don’t worry about it,” she assured her nervous friend. The cyan pegasus spread her wings, preparing to take off in Big Mac’s direction. “Just let me handle this. I’ll have you two hooked up in ten seconds fla – ”

“Oh no! No, you can’t!” Fluttershy interrupted, moving to block Rainbow’s flight path.

“What? Why not?”

“I need to talk to him myself,” she replied. “I’ve been waiting so long, I can’t just let somepony else do it for me.”

“Fair enough,” Dash agreed. “Then what’s stopping you?”

“I, um….” Fluttershy looked sadly at the ground. “I don’t know how to. I’ve never dated anypony before…what am I supposed to say to him? What do I do?”

“That’s your problem?” Rainbow nearly laughed. “Hay, that’s the easy part! Anypony can do it. Here, I’ll show you.”

Rainbow began to walk around Fluttershy in a slow circle. Her face bore an uncomfortably alluring expression, eyes half-closed and her mouth curled into a somewhat mischievous grin. “It’s all about how you look at him,” she said with a wink as she walked in front of her friend. Her rainbow-hued tail brushed Fluttershy’s muzzle as she passed. The yellow pegasus’s face turned beet-red. This wasn’t what she meant at all.

“And then,” continued Rainbow, “you say something totally clever. Like, ‘Hey, big fella. Wanna come back to my place and buck my apple tree?’”

“Rainbow!” Fluttershy cried. Her cheeks burned so fiercely she was afraid they might catch fire. “T-that wasn’t what…I didn’t mean…I’m not trying to….”

“Hey, calm down, ‘Shy. I was just kidding. I know you better than that.”

“Oh,” said Fluttershy, immensely relieved. “So…um…what am I really supposed to do?”

Dash shrugged. “I dunno. Mushy stuff like this isn’t really my area. I bet Rarity’d have some better advice for you – you know how into gooshy romance she is.”

That sounded like a good idea to Fluttershy, and she nodded. Rarity was one of closest friends. If there was anypony she’d be willing to spill her secret to, it’d be her. “Thanks, Rainbow. I’ll talk to Rarity as soon as I can.”

“Great! Sounds like a plan,” her friend answered. Another loud buck sounded across the orchard. The rainbow-maned pegasus spread her wings and took to the air. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some Zs to catch. It’s getting kinda noisy around here.”

She flew off at high speed in a multicolored bolt, only to return a moment later and hover just over Fluttershy’s head.

“Hey, ‘Shy,” she said, a little more softly than usual. “Just wanted to say this before I forgot: I’m really proud of you.”

“You’re…proud of me? What for?”

“For actually insisting on talking to Big Macintosh yourself. You remember how shy you used to be? This time last year, if you’d had a crush on Big Mac, you would’ve just holed up in your cottage and let somepony else to do all the talking for you.”

“But…but I haven’t talked to him yet. I’m still not even sure if I can.”

“But you want to, don’t you?” Rainbow asked, and Fluttershy nodded in response. “Then there you go. That’s initiative. You want to do things for yourself and you’re willing to try. That takes guts.”

Fluttershy looked back up at her friend, her eyes bright and her face beaming. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. That means a lot to me, coming from you.”

“Heh. Don’t mention it,” Dash said with a grin, and took to the skies once again.

As the cyan pegasus shrank into the distance, Fluttershy turned and looked back in Big Mac’s direction. He had moved quite a way away by now, and was little more than a red shape on a distant hilltop. But somehow, Fluttershy felt closer to him than she ever had before. She finally felt like he was within her reach.

She finally felt like she had hope.

Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

Rainbow Dash knows. She saw you yesterday – I mean, she didn’t actually read you, but she just…kind of figured it out, I guess. But it’s okay. She wanted to help me, but she didn’t know how. So she told me that I should talk to Rarity, and I said I would. I know Rarity will listen to me. She’d love to help.

I tried to talk to her yesterday, but…something stopped me. I guess I was still too shy. When Rainbow found out, it was just an accident – I don’t know if I can actually tell anypony about it myself yet. I thought about asking Rainbow to tell

Rarity for me, but…no. I can’t do that. I have to do this for myself.
I’m going to visit Rarity today. I’ll tell her about Big Macintosh and ask her for advice. She’ll be able to help me. I know she will.

Fluttershy took a deep breath in an effort to calm her nerves. She stood just outside the door of Carousel Boutique – it was still rather early in the day, so Rarity was bound to be inside working. Fluttershy hated to interrupt her friend if she was in the middle of something important, but this just couldn’t wait any longer. She’d put it off long enough.

Gulping nervously, she pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Rarity stood with her back to the door, fitting a dress onto a mannequin. She wheeled around at the sound of the door opening. The pair of red glasses perched upon her snout indicated that she had been hard at work and deep in concentration. Nevertheless, a smile lit up her face the moment she laid eyes on her friend. “Fluttershy! It’s good to see you, darling. What brings you here?”

“Oh, hi Rarity,” the pegasus answered in a small voice. She gathered her courage; it was now or never. “I just had something I wanted to talk with you about…if that’s okay. If you’re busy, I can come back.”

“Nonsense! I’ve always got time for a good friend. Could you give me just a minute, though? I’m almost finished with this,” she replied, indicating the dress on which she had been working. It was an elegant ball gown, similar in color to the one she had worn to the previous year’s Grand Galloping Gala, but the design was even more elaborate.

“Oh. Yes, of course,” said Fluttershy.

“Splendid! Just one moment, dear, and I’ll be right with you.” With that, Rarity returned to her work, adding sequins to the already rather sparkling garment. “Have a look at it, if you like,” she said. “I’m rather pleased with this one.”

Fluttershy stepped forward to get a closer look at the dress: it was indeed very elaborate, and frankly looked like it would be very uncomfortable and difficult to move in. Not that Fluttershy would know, of course – she was a fine seamstress, but she was no fashionista. Rarity probably knew best. “It, um…it looks really nice, Rarity,” she said.

“Why thank you!” A pair of scissors rose from a nearby desk, enveloped by the blue aura of the unicorn’s magic, and began to make small snips at the fabric. Rarity spoke as she continued to work: “I was afraid at first that the design would come across as a little…I don’t know…bombastic, I suppose. But you don’t think it’s too much?”

“Oh…no, not at all,” Fluttershy answered. She wasn’t really lying, per se, but rather withholding her honest opinion so as not to cause undue stress to her friend. This is what she told herself, at least. Still she was curious. What could’ve prompted Rarity to make such an over-the-top dress? “What, um…what’s it for? Is it for some special occasion?”

“Well, I just heard that Scarlet Silk – I don’t know if you’ve heard of her, but she’s one of the most prestigious names in fashion in all of Equestria – is holding a competition in Canterlot for new designers. I need two dresses to enter, but the deadline is tomorrow night! Not nearly enough time to start a new design from scratch, you see. So I recycled and expanded upon our old Gala dresses. Mine has been sitting around collecting dust for months now, and I couldn’t just let such a fabulous work of art go to waste.”

“No, I suppose not,” agreed Fluttershy. The “expansions” to the outfit seemed unneeded to her, but Rarity’s fashion sense was seldom wrong, if ever. One thing confused her, though: “Whose dress are you using for the second entry? You said you needed two….”

As if in answer to Fluttershy’s query, a voice rang out from an adjacent room: “Rarity? Are you sure this is how I’m supposed to put this thing on?” The voice sounded rather surly, and bore a distinct accent which Fluttershy recognized in an instant.

Applejack. Applejack was here. This made things much, much more complicated: Applejack was a very close friend, but she was Big Macintosh’s sister! As if she weren’t already nervous enough, now she had this to contend with as well. Fluttershy frowned.

Rarity smiled. “I’m sure it’s just fine. Come here, let’s have a look!”

There was a sound of much scraping, shuffling, and angry mumbling from the other room. Moments later, Applejack stepped in, decked out in a resplendent ball gown. Well, shuffled in is more like it – the dress was so absurdly heavy and ostentatious that she could hardly walk properly. It bore some resemblance to her own Gala dress from the previous year, but like Rarity’s, it was far, far more complicated. Its wearer was scowling fiercely.

“How the hay is anypony supposed to move in this thing?!” she demanded, barely bothering to keep her frustration in check. “I can’t hardly move my hind legs without tearin’ this whole dress half to pieces.” She glared down at the monstrosity adorning her figure. “And frankly, I’m startin’ to feel like I ought to,” she muttered.

“Don’t even think about it!” Rarity snapped. She took a moment to compose herself, and then continued more softly: “I realize it’s not entirely comfortable, but anything less extravagant simply won’t do. If my designs don’t truly stand out, I’ll have no chance of impressing Scarlet Silk.” She walked over to Applejack, scissors hovering beside her, and started to work on her dress. “Besides,” she added with a good-natured smirk, “you can’t complain. You volunteered for this, after all.”

Applejack rolled her eyes, but kept quiet as Rarity moved around her, snipping away at loose threads. She eyed Fluttershy, and her face brightened somewhat. “Mornin’, sugarcube!” she said in a cheerier voice.

“Oh, good morning Applejack,” Fluttershy replied. The farm pony had no idea that Fluttershy was crushing on her brother; how would she react? Applejack had a tendency to be very protective of her family…what if she got angry? The yellow mare’s face scrunched up worriedly.

Rarity put a few final, finishing touches on the garment – a snip here, a sequin there, and so forth – and was done. “Perfect!” She turned back to Fluttershy, smiling warmly. “Now, Fluttershy, what was it you wanted to speak with me about?”

“Well…I…uh…” Fluttershy began. She was now acutely aware that there were two pairs of eyes one her: Rarity’s and Applejack’s. Both were looking at her with rapt interest. The shy pegasus shrank even further back into her mane. “I…uh…um….”

“Is there something bothering you, dear?” asked Rarity. If only she knew.

“Well…it…uh….”

“It ain’t nothin’ I can help you with, is it?” Applejack asked, genuinely concerned.

The words “you can help by leaving” floated through Fluttershy’s mind, but she banished them at once. That would be rude. “You…it, well…actually….” Her eyes darted back and forth between her two friends. She had been prepared to talk to Rarity, but not this. Not to two ponies at once, and certainly not to the sibling of her object of affection. She trembled, her knees knocking together. “I…it…I…” she squeaked, her voice growing smaller with every word.

The other two ponies continued to stare at the stammering pegasus. Applejack’s face was contorted in confusion, but she still seemed concerned. Rarity, in meantime, was deep in thought. The cogs and gears of her socially experienced mind whirred at a frantic pace; and then all at once the answer clicked like a lock.

She smiled, warmly and caringly. “Fluttershy,” she said in a soft voice. “This is about Big Macintosh, isn’t it?”

If Fluttershy’s eyes had widened any further they would’ve popped right out of her head. “B-b-but, b-but h-h-how d-did you know about….”

Applejack also looked quite surprised. She turned to Rarity. “Wait, what’s this got to do with my brother?”

“I’m not surprised you didn’t notice,” said Rarity to Applejack, doing her darndest to keep any hint of condescension out of her voice. “You’re usually quite good with ponies, but I’m by far the more perceptive it comes to romance.”

“Romance!” Applejack exclaimed. “Are you tellin’ me Fluttershy here is sweet on Big Macintosh?”

Rarity prepared to answer, but was cut off by a small, weak voice: “Yes.”

The earth pony and the unicorn turned as one and looked at their pegasus friend. By now she had retreated fully into the safe depths of her pink mane, so that all they could see of her face was a single, glistening eye. “I just wanted to ask for your advice,” she said to Rarity, so quietly that she was barely audible. “H-how did you know?”

“It wasn’t really very difficult,” said Rarity. “You’ve been keeping to yourself so much lately, but whenever I do see you, you just seem…distracted, as though there were something on your mind. You’ve been blushing a good bit more than usual, too. And then there are all the longing glances towards Sweet Apple Acres, and the way you always clam up whenever Applejack mentions her brother….”

Fluttershy’s cheeks burned. She thought for she’d kept her secret safe! But Rarity was right; her behavior had changed greatly in the last two months. And she remembered more than one conversation she’d had with her friends where she’d grown suddenly quiet when Big Macintosh’s name came up. Maybe she hadn’t been as careful as she’d thought she was….

“Oh, don’t worry, darling,” Rarity assured her, putting a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “It takes a very socially adept pony to pick up on signals like that. I’m sure no one else has noticed.”

“I know I sure didn’t,” Applejack confirmed. She felt a little silly for not having noticed it herself, but she pushed the thought aside; right now, Fluttershy needed her help. She smiled as well, trying to tell her that everything was okay. “So how long’ve you been crushin’ on Big Macintosh?”

“Since Hearts and Hooves Day,” Fluttershy answered. “Actually, I think it’s been longer than that, but…that was when I first realized it, I think.”

“Hearts and Hooves Day?! That was two whole months ago! Why didn’t ya just say somethin’ to him about…” Applejack frowned as a realization hit her. “Oh, yeah. Cheerilee.”

“I wanted so badly to talk to him at first. But I couldn’t, not while he was with her.” Fluttershy stared at the floor, speaking quite softly even by her standards and sniffling a little. “So I wished that I could just forget about him and move on. But…but then I realized I didn’t want to forget about him. He means too much to me….”

“Oh, you poor dear,” said Rarity, stepping forward and pulling her friend into a gentle hug. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone. You could’ve told one of us!”

Fluttershy took a deep breath and regained her composure. Rarity’s embrace and kind words helped alleviate the ache in her heart. “I thought about it,” she said. “I wanted to tell somepony, anypony at all, but…I just couldn’t.”

Applejack looked at her curiously. “Why not? Y’know you can always come to us when you have a problem, don’t you?”

“I think I understand,” said Rarity. She stepped back and looked the pegasus in the eye. “This is something very personal for you, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy nodded.

“You’ve always had trouble talking about your own feelings, even with ponies you know very well. It’s just a part of your personality. Even though you know that no real harm could come of telling somepony about your feelings, you’re still afraid to try because it just isn’t easy for you. Is that right?”

“Um…yes,” Fluttershy answered, awed by how perfectly Rarity had figured her out.

“Sounds right to me, knowin’ you,” added Applejack. “I’m sorry too, Fluttershy. You must’ve been in one hay of pickle these last two months. I wish I’d have known about it so I could help.”

“Thank you,” said Fluttershy. “Thank you both. And you’re right, Rarity. But I need to tell him. And…and I can. I know I can. I just….” She looked at the floor once again, hiding ashamedly behind her mane. “I just don’t know how to say it.”

“Well, how do you feel about Big Macintosh? What do you like about him?” asked Rarity. “You can tell us, can’t you?”

“Oh, I don’t think I could ever put it into words,” the pegasus replied. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before…I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“Please try, dear. For us. For him.”

“For yourself, too. You have to get this off your chest, or else it’ll keep eatin’ away at you.”

“Okay,” Fluttershy said, and looked aside in thought. There was a long pause before she spoke again. “He’s very kind,” she said at length. “And gentle, and sweet. And he loves his family very much.”

“I coulda told you that,” Applejack said with a broad smile.

Fluttershy smiled in return. “And he’s always so polite,” she went on, conviction creeping into her voice. “He treats everypony he meets with so much kindness and respect, even when they don’t deserve it. And not because he wants something from them, but just because he’s nice.”

By this point, Rarity had taken hold of a pen and notepad with her magic and was scribbling down notes. “Yes, go on dear,” she prompted.

“And he’s so hard-working. He’s dedicated and reliable and strong...and…he…he’s really special to me. Every time he talks to me or does something nice for me, it makes me feel like I’m special to him….” Suddenly her face fell and her voice softened considerably. “Even though I know I’m not.”

“Aw, c’mon sugarcube. I’m sure you’re special to him, he just doesn’t know it yet. All you’ve gotta do now is let him know how you feel.”

“But how? What am I supposed to say?”

“It’s simple, darling,” said Rarity. She magically passed her notepad to the pegasus. “Just tell him this.”

Fluttershy sat and held the notepad between her hooves. The words on the page seemed very familiar. Moments later, she realized that they were they very words she had just used to describe Big Mac; Rarity had simply written them down.

A long pause ensued. Fluttershy blinked several times. “You mean…that’s all I have to say? I-It’s really that simple?”

“Of course it is, dear,” explained the unicorn. “Just let him know how you really feel about him. Use the very words you just used: tell him you think he’s kind and caring and strong, and tell him how special he is to you. It’s not all that difficult.”

Fluttershy merely stood there as if in shock for several seconds more. Could it really be that easy? Just tell him how she feels? No gifts, no ceremony, no clever pick-ups? It had never occurred to her before that it might be that simple.

Well…perhaps simple was the wrong word. She now knew what to do, but asking out Big Macintosh was a task easier said than done. In fact, it seemed an even more terrifying prospect than Rainbow Dash’s method; at least that one had some degree of subtlety. This method required that she bare her soul.

But…no, she had no choice. She hadn’t waited for so long just to give up now. If this was really her best chance – her only hope – then she had to give it a try.

“Thank you,” she said to her friends as she dropped the notepad into her saddlebag. “Thank you both so much.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” said Rarity. “I just hope things work out for you and Big Macintosh. You two would make such a darling couple.”

“And I’m sure y’all will,” added Applejack. “And remember, just say what you feel. Be honest. And don’t worry: if anypony knows how Big Macinosh’ll react, it’s me. I think he’s gonna be real happy gettin’ asked out by a mare like you.”

Fluttershy smiled – a nervous smile, but a smile nonetheless. She thanked them again and made for the door. In a moment she was gone.

After the door closed, Applejack chuckled lightly. “I gotta admit, I wasn’t expectin’ that kind of advice from you, Rarity,” she said. “I figured you’d try to set Fluttershy and Big Mac up on some big fancy date.”

“Well, as much as the idea appeals to me,” Rarity admitted, “it’s not in Fluttershy’s best interests. You know how sensitive she is; a ‘big fancy date’ as you so inelegantly put it would just embarrass her further. In love, as in all things, you must know when extravagance is appropriate and when it isn’t.”

The farm pony looked down at the ridiculous gown she was still wearing. Then she looked at Rarity’s dress, still adorning the mannequin. Then she looked Rarity in the eye with an expression that could only be described as deeply amused. “I’m guessin’ dresses don’t count as things, right?”

Rarity hmphed. Applejack laughed. And outside Carousel Boutique, Fluttershy hoped.

Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

Rarity was very helpful. She told me that all I have to do is tell Big Macintosh how I really feel about him. Right now I’m sitting in the café; Big Macintosh is in town selling apples today, so he’s just down the street. I think, maybe, if I could just pretend I wanted to buy some apples…no, that would be dishonest. I couldn’t do that to anypony, especially not to such a big sweetheart.

Fluttershy paused. Did she really just call Big Macintosh a “sweetheart?” She wasn’t sure whether this troubled or excited her; maybe a little of both. She took a bite of her dandelion sandwich to calm her nerves, and then went back to writing:

No. I have to tell him right out. No pretense, no preface…well, maybe I could at least say “good morning” to him, and maybe talk about the weather, and I could ask him about the farm…oh, but if I did that, how would I ever get around to telling him how I feel?

I have to do this now. I can’t wait any longer. Maybe the words will just come to me. Oh, I hope they do.

She closed the book. Well, that was that: her last diary entry as a lonely single. If all went well, she’d be Big Macintosh’s marefriend by the next entry – if there was a next entry, that is. Writing in her diary had become a rather therapeutic exercise for her, and she doubted she’d need to continue once she was with the stallion of her dreams. She briefly considered adding a lengthy coda to the last entry, thanking her diary for all its help in dealing with her emotions…but no, that would be too long and too sad a goodbye. This needed to be a happy occasion.

Fluttershy took a couple of long, slow deep breaths and placed her diary back in her saddlebag. Nervous as she was, she couldn’t deny that there was a twinge of excitement in her heart. There was a chance – a good chance, if Applejack was right – that Big Mac might actually agree to go out with her. Just the thought of it was nearly enough to make her feel giddy. Even the fear of rejection now seemed a feeble obstacle, easily surmounted. She could do this. She knew she could.

Well, she hoped she could. But that was better than nothing.

Big Macintosh stood beside the apple cart, gazing stoically at passersby. Apple-selling wasn’t really his game; his more outgoing sister was usually better-suited for the task. She had a level of salesponyship that often eluded the big red stallion, try as he might to emulate her. He was simply too shy, too stoic, too taciturn to attract customers – he felt much more at home in the fields, bucking apple trees, where his real skills were of use.

Fortunately, apples seemed to be in high demand of late. Business had been quite good, and it had taken very little effort on his part to sell a decent number of his wares. He had also grown rather more comfortable interacting with customers, and each successful transaction left him with a slight grin on his face. A good day so far, by all accounts, and he expected to return home that evening satisfied with what he had accomplished.

Shortly before noon, he spotted a familiar butter-yellow pegasus strolling through the streets. She wandered about the square, sometimes looking vaguely interested in other vendors, but never once approaching them. Her eyes darted all around, taking stock of the whole area, save for one spot: Big Mac’s apple cart. In fact, she seemed to consciously avoid looking at it – and at him. This went on for several minutes.

At last, she wandered in his direction – slowly, seeming reluctant – and stopped just in front of him. “Good morning, Big Macintosh,” she said softly. He could’ve sworn he heard her voice tremble.

“Mornin’, Miss Fluttershy,” he replied. “You lookin’ to buy some apples?”

“Oh! Why, yes, certainly,” she said, sounding strangely surprised, as though she hadn’t expected him to ask her that. Curious, but Big Mac didn’t bother to question it. Fluttershy dug through her left saddlebag with her snout and produced a hoof-full of bits, which she gave to the stallion. He counted them and gathered a few apples from the cart.

“So…wonderful…weather we’ve been having?”

Big Mac looked back at Fluttershy: she was smiling at him – a broad, horrible-looking forced smile. Her eyes looked desperate, almost pleading.

“Um…eeeyup,” he answered, not sure what else he could say. The weather had been quite nice lately: a scheduled rainstorm three days ago had brought much-needed rain to Sweet Apple Acres, and the days since then had been relentlessly bright and sunny. “Them weather ponies sure do a fine job, don’t they?”

“Yes…yes, they certainly do,” said Fluttershy. Big Mac passed her a bag of five apples, and she placed it in her own saddlebag. She thanked him politely, if rather quietly, and he thanked her in return for her business.

Several seconds passed in silence and Fluttershy continued to stand there, glancing nervously about. “Uh, Miss Fluttershy,” said Big Macintosh. “Is there somethin’ else you want?”

She looked back at him, mildly startled. “Oh…well, yes, actually. I was just wondering…I wanted to ask you…that is, I wanted to tell you….” She began to stutter, her speech trailing off into half-audible mumblings.

The stallion eyed Fluttershy calmly, waiting patiently for her to re-rail her train of thought. He knew how timid she could be, and how uncomfortable she was talking even with close friends; Applejack had told him more than once that interacting with Fluttershy could be a tad frustrating at times. But he was glad to wait for her – she was clearly a very nice pony and it wouldn’t do to be ungentlemanly with her. He cleared his throat softly, hoping that he could catch her attention subtly and without seeming rude or impatient. It worked.

She blushed. “Oh. Right, sorry,” she said, looking him in the face. The pegasus closed her eyes and took a deep breath, seemingly preparing to speak. She opened her mouth:

“Good morning Big Macintosh! And Fluttershy, nice to see you as well!”

Both ponies turned their heads. The voice belonged to Cheerilee, who was making her way across the square towards them. Big Mac caught a glimpse of Fluttershy out of the corner of his eye: her own eyes were wide in stark terror, her pupils shrunken to tiny black dots. Before he could wonder why she’d have such a reaction, Cheerilee was upon them.

“Mornin’, Cheerilee,” he greeted her. Two months of dating (and a subsequent week of casual friendship) had eventually caused Big Macintosh to drop the ‘Miss’ when addressing Cheerilee; she seemed to prefer it, and the kindly earth stallion couldn’t bring himself to do anything she preferred he didn’t, even for the sake of politeness.

“G-good m-m-morning,” Fluttershy stammered out. She drew back away from the ex-couple, looking like she felt rather awkward to come between them.

The two earth ponies shared a bemused glance. Both of them knew Fluttershy fairly well, and were aware of her discomfort with social interaction, but this seemed excessive even for her.

“Um…you all right, Miss Fluttershy?” asked Big Mac.

This only seemed to cause the discomfited pegasus even further distress, as she cringed with embarrassment and shrank back into her mane. “Oh, y-yes, yes,” she said, so softly that they could barely hear her. “I’m j-j-just fine.”

Another awkward glance passed between Cheerilee and Big Macintosh, and ended when the former at last spoke up: “Well, I just came by to buy some more apples,” she told her ex-coltfriend, ignoring Fluttershy’s nervous antics. “I always keep one on my desk, and some of the fillies and colts I teach seem to think it’s funny to take bites out of it when I’m not looking.” She sighed wearily – the unmistakable sigh of a beleaguered schoolteacher.

“Sorry to hear about that,” said Big Mac sympathetically. “Maybe you could…mmm, nah.”

“What? What are you thinking?” asked Cheerilee, her curiosity piqued.

“Well…I was thinkin’, maybe I could gather up some of the rotten apples we find sometimes, and let you put one o’ those on your desk, and see what they think of that…but that’d be a little mean, I suppose.”

“Oh, Big Mac,” Cheerilee laughed. “You’re always such a sweetheart.” This prompted a blush and a shy grin from the stallion.

Fluttershy’s face darkened, her mood shifting all at once from tension to despondency. Cheerilee and Big Macintosh weren’t even dating anymore, and yet the teacher was still better at interacting with him than she was.

While the two friends laughed, Fluttershy slipped away, quietly and without farewell. Big Macintosh was the first of the two to notice her absence.

“Miss Fluttershy?” he called out curiously. Glancing around, he caught a glimpse of her at the far end of the square before she vanished down another street. He felt oddly disappointed that she had left – more so than he thought was appropriate, at any rate. He had rather enjoyed her company, awkward though it had been. He turned back to Cheerilee. “What do you suppose all that was about?”

There was a short pause as Cheerilee stared in the direction Fluttershy had gone. The stuttering, the blushing, the awkward demeanor, the way Fluttershy ditched the scene when she had arrived…now that she gave the matter some thought, it wasn’t the first time she’d noticed that sort of behavior from Fluttershy, especially around her ex-coltfriend. A vague suspicion crept into her mind, prompting her to glance back at Big Macintosh; he continued to look back at her, waiting patiently for a response.

She frowned…and then smiled. If her suspicion was correct, this may actually be a good thing.

“I…don’t really know,” she answered him truthfully, if not completely. “But you know how Fluttershy is. The poor thing can get so nervous at times.”

“Wonder what’s got her so worked up. That was mighty strange behavior, even for her.”

“True,” agreed Cheerilee. “But I’m sure she’s fine.”

After staring across the square with a grim frown for a moment more, Big Mac finally turned back to Cheerilee. “Eeyup,” he affirmed, and began to gather a few apples from the stand for her.

Cheerilee smiled again. Big Macintosh seemed quite concerned about Fluttershy. Maybe it was just his caring personality, but she couldn’t help but hope that it meant something more – even though things hadn’t worked out between the two of them, Big Mac still deserved a wonderful special somepony. She still wasn’t totally certain her suspicion was correct, but if it was, then things might work out very well for him after all.

Even as she ran, Fluttershy could feel hot tears pricking at her eyes. She just had to get away – somewhere where she could be alone, where nopony else could see what sort of state she was in.

Her attempt to talk to Big Mac had been pitiful. She had come so close – so very, very close – but even that thought was scant comfort. Fate seemed to have intervened, putting her in the most painfully awkward situation she could imagine at just the moment of truth. It would’ve been hard enough admitting her feelings for him if it had been just the two of them there; but for Cheerilee to show up, just as she was ready to pour out her heart…it had to be a sign. Yes, that was it: a sign that she and Big Macintosh simply weren’t meant to be together.

The more she thought about it, the truer it seemed. She lacked the spine to talk to him when she had the chance, and now she didn’t think she’d ever again be able to work up the necessary nerve. It was over, as far as she was concerned. Her dream crushed, all because of a single failure. How pathetic.

There was a secluded alleyway some distance from the square; even in the bustle of late morning, the alley was dim and quiet. She slumped against the wall of some unidentified building and just let the tears flow, sniffling softly. Though the air was warm and the sky cloudless, she couldn’t help but feel terribly cold and dismal, as though the whole world had singled her out for unfair punishment – no no, it was entirely fair, now that she thought about it. A pony as pathetic as she was didn’t deserve a special somepony as strong and sweet and kind as Big Macintosh.

A sound caught her ears – somewhere nearby, a pony was humming a jaunty tune. Her eyes widened and fright and she leapt to her hooves, quickly scurrying behind a nearby garbage can. She had a tendency to be especially timid when upset; and besides, she was in no condition to be seen by anypony at the moment. She cowered, trembling, hoping desperately that whoever was near would simply pass her by –

“Hiya, Fluttershy! Whatcha doing down there?”

“Eeeek!” The frightened pegasus leapt up from her hiding place, only to come face to face with a broadly grinning pink pony.

“P…Pinkie Pie?” Fluttershy quickly did her best to regain her composure. She glanced about, now realizing that the building against which she’d been leaning was in fact Sugarcube Corner. “I…I’m just…um…nothing,” she mumbled.

“I thought so! That’s what it looked like you were doing: just sitting there in the alleyway with your head down. Well, actually, that would mean you were doing something, since sitting technically counts as something, but it’s not the kind of something that ponies usually mean when they say they’re doing something. So why were doing nothing in the alley all by yourself?”

“Oh…well, I just kind of wanted to be alone for a while. If that’s okay, I mean. I just…”

Pinkie moved in a bit closer, staring the pegasus right in the eye. “Are you okay, Fluttershy?” she asked, speaking in a softer voice than Fluttershy thought the party pony was capable of. “And don’t just say ‘I’m okay,’ like you do sometimes when you’re not really okay but you just don’t want to talk about how you feel. I really mean it: are you okay? Because you don’t really look okay.”

Fluttershy was rather taken aback. Pinkie wasn’t even smiling; her eyes were full of concern, maybe even worry. From a pony who was usually so bubbly, this sort of behavior was a little disconcerting. But then, Fluttershy really did look like she felt less than okay: though she couldn’t see herself, she could feel the tearstains on her cheeks and sense the red puffiness of her eyes. No wonder Pinkie was worried about her.

“Well, actually,” she began, “something…kind of happened, and I…I don’t feel very good right now. I don’t really want to talk about it, if that’s okay with you.” She didn’t quite feel up to explaining the whole situation to Pinkie Pie. Besides, enough of her friends already knew about it.

A smile returned to Pinkie’s face. “That’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But at least let me do something to help you feel better.”

“What?” Fluttershy asked, sounding a little skeptical.

“I can get you something to eat from Sugarcube Corner! Eating something sweet always makes me feel better when I’m all down in the dumps, and I’m sure it’ll work for you too! I can get you anything you want: cupcakes, or chocolate cake, or ice cream cake, or fudge cake, or cookie cake, or double-fudge cake, or molten chocolate cake, which is like regular chocolate cake except it has – ”

“Oh, Pinkie,” Fluttershy protested, “you really don’t need to do that for me.”

“Of course I do!” The pink pony struck a dramatic pose and her face fell into a resolute expression. “As the self-appointed friend-cheerer-upper of Ponyville, it is my duty to provide cheering-up services to any friend in need. And you, my friend,” she pointed to Fluttershy, “are most definitely in need of a good cheering-up.” With that, she smiled yet again and seized her friend with a foreleg, dragging her in the direction of Sugarcube Corner’s front door.

A small smile wormed its way onto Fluttershy’s face. She often found it hard not to grin when Pinkie Pie was around. And the thought of a nice slice of chocolate cake, fresh and hot out of the oven, was a charming prospect. As she followed Pinkie into the bakery, she felt her despair fade away like mist in the sun. Her situation hadn’t changed, but something still felt different.

Now that she thought about it, her situation hadn’t been that grim to begin with. Perhaps she’d overreacted – after all, the whole incident was nothing more than a simple, silly coincidence: no reason to give up her dream, to give up hope. Big Macintosh was still within her reach; all she needed now was another chance, and the willingness to try again.

Her smile widened. Having friends to turn to always seemed to make everything just a little clearer and brighter.

Chapter 4

Apart from Twilight Sparkle’s close friends, nopony visited the Ponyville library more frequently than Cheerilee. She came by often to borrow books for use in school, and occasionally brought her entire class in for a day of browsing (thereby bringing the library more visitors in a single day than it usually received in a week). Moreover, Twilight’s skill with magic and knowledge of diverse fields of study made her an invaluable unofficial teaching assistant. As a result, the librarian and schoolteacher had become close acquaintances, if not quite close friends.

On weekends Cheerilee was free to visit the library at any hour, and she often did; it happened to be early in the afternoon when she came through the front door of the great tree-house. Twilight greeted her at once, happy to have someone besides Spike to keep her company while she worked – the little dragon was a wonderful assistant, but Twilight’s preferred topics of conversation tended to go way over his head. Cheerilee, who shared the unicorn’s love of knowledge, offered a much higher level of discourse which Twilight found refreshing.

Today, however, their discussion was far less cerebral than usual:

“So…you really think Fluttershy has a thing for Big Macintosh?”

“That’s how it seemed to me. Today wasn’t the first time I noticed it, either. I’ve seen her around from time to time, and it’s always the same whenever she and Big Macintosh are in the same place at once. But you know her better than I do; what do you think?”

Twilight paced across the library floor, trying to wrap her mind around Cheerilee’s theory. Social interaction had never been her forté, so trying to determine Fluttershy’s feelings based on her behavior proved more puzzling for her than the most complex mathematical equation. “I can’t say for sure,” she said at length. “The way you describe it, it sounds like Fluttershy is afraid of Big Macintosh, not in love with him.”

Cheerilee smiled amusedly. “Sometimes they’re the same thing, Twilight. Most ponies tend to get nervous when they’re around someone they like.”

“I wonder why that is,” Twilight mused. She made a mental note to conduct some research on that matter sometime later on before returning to the issue at hoof. “Now that you mention it, Fluttershy has been acting rather odd lately, especially in the last week. She’s been keeping to herself a lot, and when I do see her, she always seems a little…distracted, I guess. Do you think that means she’s….”

“…thinking of Big Mac?” Cheerilee finished for her. “That’s what I was thinking, too. Of course, it could just as easily be something else, but after today, I’m fairly certain that Big Macintosh is the cause of it all.”

There was a short silence as the two ponies pondered the situation. At length Cheerilee spoke up again: “Do you think they’ll work out? As a couple, I mean – surely you know Fluttershy well enough to tell me that.”

“I…suppose they might,” admitted the unicorn. “I mean, they are a lot alike: very shy and quiet, and very kind. And…” she paused for a moment, seeming to argue with herself over whether or not to finish what she was about to say. “…and if nothing else, they do share a common interest.”

This piqued Cheerilee’s curiosity. “A common interest? What do you mean?”

“Did Big Macintosh ever tell you about…surely he must have, considering how close you were….”

“Tell me about what?” The barest hint of irritation wormed its way into the teacher’s voice. “Was Big Mac keeping something from me while we were dating?”

“Nothing serious, really,” Twilight answered, a little defensively. “It’s just that…well, a while ago, he started coming by the library and…borrowing certain books.”

Cheerilee’s eyes now narrowed to slits. She raised one eyebrow questioningly.

“It’s not what you think! Really!” The unicorn paused briefly, and then smiled a little. “Actually…” she chuckled, “you might find this a little funny.” She glanced around the room, spotting Spike at the far end shelving books. Leaning forward, she whispered something into Cheerilee’s ear.

Seconds later, Cheerilee burst into a fit of barely-restrained laughter. Twilight soon joined her.

Spike turned to look at them, and then shook his head and returned to his work. “Girl talk,” he muttered to himself. “I guess I’ll never get it.”

The cake was delicious. The very first bite soothed Fluttershy’s frazzled nerves in an instant and prompted an involuntary “mmmm” as she savored its richness of flavor. Pinkie smiled at her friend, happy to see that her prescribed “treatment” was having the desired effect.

“So how’s that chocolate-frosted chocolate ice cream-filled chocolate cake treating you, Flutters?”

The pegasus took a moment to chew and swallow. “It’s delicious,” she replied. Indeed, it was almost overwhelmingly flavorful, but she said nothing of it. Opting to give her stomach time to process the last bite, she set her slice of cake on the table in front of her and leaned back in her seat. Sugarcube Corner was mostly empty, with a customer entering and exiting once every few minutes or so, and the two ponies were left mostly in peace.

The party pony’s suggestion had been spot-on: a slice of something sweet was just what Fluttershy needed. She took another bite, now beginning to realize that the cake was not only improving her mood, but satiating her hunger as well. Had she been hungry? She honestly hadn’t noticed – the anxiety of the day’s events had kept her mind on other topics. Only just now it occurred to her that she had forgotten breakfast that morning; aside from that half-finished dandelion sandwich, this piece of cake was the first thing she’d eaten all day. It made a decent breakfast, she thought, even if it was already half past noon.

“So,” began Pinkie, taking a seat across from Fluttershy and placing another slice of cake on the table. “Feeling any better? Because you really look you’re feeling lots better.”

“Yes, I am,” Fluttershy answered. Her voice softened. “Thank you, Pinkie.”

“Aw, there’s no need for thanks, Fluttershy,” Pinkie said, still smiling. “You’re one of my very bestest best friends and it always makes me happy to do nice things for you.” She then shoved her own slice of cake into her mouth in an implausibly cartoonish fashion, and chewed smackingly.

Fluttershy smiled as she let her mind wander. She recalled reading somewhere that eating chocolate gives one the feeling of being in love – so naturally, her thoughts drifted to Big Macintosh. And for once, they weren’t filled with anguish and longing, but rather warmth, joy, and hope. Her confidence bolstered by good feelings, she felt prepared to spill her secret to the world. Indeed, she felt like she could march out of Sugarcube Corner, head straight back into town, and confess her love to Big Macintosh in front of everypony in the square.

Well…maybe she couldn’t do that. Such a course of action was a fair bit bolder than anything Fluttershy would ever be capable of, no matter how much chocolate she ate. She decided instead to start smaller. So far, all of her friends had uncovered her secret by accident, or else had already known; she had yet to actually tell anypony about her crush herself. Perhaps she could tell Pinkie about it, just as a warm-up for the real deal. Then she’d be ready. Fluttershy steeled herself.

“Uh, Pinkie,” she said meekly. “Can I, um…t-talk to you about something?” Already she was growing nervous; she took another bite of cake to calm herself as she waited for Pinkie’s response.

“Of course you can, Fluttershy! This is about Big Macintosh, right?”

Fluttershy nearly choked on her cake. “But-but…but how did…how…” she sputtered, each word punctuated by a loud cough.

“How did I know? Easy! Y’see, yesterday, I was talking with Rainbow Dash and she – ”

“Wait…Rainbow Dash told you?” Fluttershy was aghast: had Rainbow really spilled her secret to Pinkie? And if she told Pinkie about it, who else might know by now?

“Eeyup!” Pinkie said, giggling at her pitch-perfect impression of the stallion they were discussing. “But don’t worry, she made me Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony else, so we can just keep it between us. I know it would be super-embarrassing if it got out, since you’re both so shy and all, and we wouldn’t want to do that to you.”

Fluttershy sighed in relief. She was quite irked that Rainbow had revealed her secret, but at least it was only to a close friend. And seeing as how there was a Pinkie Promise involved, she felt certain that the rumor would spread no further. Still she was disappointed: she had lost yet another chance to tell somepony about her feelings herself. Ah well – at least now she had another friend to talk to. It couldn’t hurt to get Pinkie’s opinion of the situation.

“So, um…” she said. “Do you…do you think it’s okay? I mean, do you think it’ll work out?”

Pinkie Pie titled her head to one side and eyed her friend curiously. “What do you mean? Do I think what will work out?”

“You know…me…telling Big Macintosh…that I, um…have…feelings for him,” Fluttershy mumbled, her voice shrinking with every word. She closed her eyes, awaiting a reply she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear.

What she heard was a loud gasp. Her eyes shot open, beholding a stunned, agape Pinkie Pie. “You have feelings for Big Macintosh?!” exclaimed the pink pony, a bit more loudly than was necessary. “Omigosh, that is so cute! You two would be so adorable together!” She began to bounce around the room in happy circles, blathering (mostly to herself) about what an adorable couple they would make.

“Um, Pinkie, I – ”

“You’re just perfect for each other! You’re both really shy and kind and sweet and gentle and nice and shy and kind and sweet….”

“Pinkie, I thought you – ”

“And you’re both really good at taking care of animals since he works on a farm and has to work with animals all the time and you’re so good at taking care of animals that you have a ‘taking-care-of-animals’ Cutie Mark and….”

“But I thought you already – ”

“And if you two got together and got married and had foals they’d probably be so super-good at taking care of animals that they’d all have ‘super-taking-care-of-animals’ Cutie Marks and – ”

“Pinkie!” Fluttershy shouted. Well, she didn’t quite shout – she merely raised her voice a few decibels and spoke with something that resembled conviction. But it was enough of a change to catch Pinkie’s attention, and she stopped her bouncing and looked back at her friend.

“What?” she asked, once again tilting her head in curiosity.

“What, um…why are you so surprised? I thought you said Rainbow Dash already told you.”

“What?” Pinkie laughed. “No, silly, she told me that you let Big Macintosh borrow your ‘My Little Platypus’ books. She never said anything about you liking him!”

“Oh,” answered Fluttershy, now deeply embarrassed. Once her mind finished processing what Pinkie had just said, another thought struck her: “Wait – he never borrowed those books from me. I’ve never even told him I have them.” She looked aside, a light blush coloring her cheeks. “I’ve never told anypony I have them, except for Twilight. Rainbow Dash only knows because she liked them too, when we were fillies. Did she…did she tell you about them?”

Pinkie nodded vigorously. “Uh huh. She told me that you’re like, the biggest closet ‘My Little Platypus’ fan ever, and you’ve got every book and every toy and you even have a ‘My Little Platypus’ fan club lifetime membership and….”

While Pinkie rambled on, Fluttershy’s face fell and her ears flattened against her head. How could Rainbow Dash do that to her? Ever since they’d moved to Ponyville, it had sort of gone unspoken between them that Fluttershy’s affection for those goofy little foals’ books was to remain a secret. It had been necessary to bring Twilight in on the secret as well, as her aid was required in collecting the last of them from the library, but unlike Rainbow Dash she had actually taken a vow of secrecy. She supposed she couldn’t be mad at the pegasus for breaking an agreement that they’d never actually made, but it still felt like a betrayal of her trust.

“…and when Rainbow Dash was flying over Sweet Apples Acres and saw Big Macintosh sitting under a tree and reading one of those books she just had to tell somepony about it because she thought it was really funny for a grown-up stallion like him to be reading them and she figured ‘who in Ponyville likes funny things more than Pinkie Pie?’ So she came and told me all about it and she kind of let me know about your secret because she thought it was something that you and Big Macintosh could ‘bond over.’ Then she said she had to go take a nap and that’s the last time I saw her.’” There was a short pause as something suddenly occurred to the pink pony. “Oooh, now I get it! She wanted you two to have something to bond over because you like him! Now it all makes sense!”

“Wait,” said Fluttershy. “She saw him reading them? He really likes them?”

“Eeyup!” replied Pinkie, once again giggling at her impression. “Or at least, eeyup to the first question, because Rainbow Dash definitely saw him reading them, which I guess must mean he really likes them, too. So eeyup to both questions, then. But if he didn’t get them from you…I wonder where else he could’ve gotten them?” She put a hoof to her chin and hmmmed in thought.

While Pinkie hmmmed, Fluttershy merely stood in silence as the spark of an idea in her mind grew into a warm, hopeful glow. “Something to bond over,” she half-whispered to herself. Maybe Rainbow Dash was onto something.

“Um…thanks for the cake, Pinkie,” she said hurriedly, taking one last quick bite and making for the door.

“You’re welcome!” the pink pony called out after her. As soon as she was out the door, Pinkie swallowed up what was left of Fluttershy’s slice of cake. Couldn’t let it go to waste, after all.

Chapter 6

Dear Diary,

Today is the day. I hope.

Rainbow Dash sighed – not a tired sigh, nor a contended one, but rather a sigh of mild frustration and great boredom. Her weather patrol duties for the day had ended far earlier than she had expected: all that had needed clearing were a few wisps of high-altitude cirrus and a stray altocumulus, neither of which had taken her more than a minute to dissipate. She expected that the need for further weather control might arise later in the evening, but for the time being she had nothing better to do than lay out on her own personal puff of cloudstuff and take a nap.

Except she wasn’t tired.

She sighed again. Maybe she was still worried about Fluttershy – yes, that had to be it, now that she thought about it. Worrying about one’s best friend would be enough to keep anypony awake, and boy, did Fluttershy ever give her reason to worry.

In retrospect, Fluttershy’s plan was pretty lame. Seriously…drop a few ‘My Little Platypus’ references in casual conversation and just hope Big Macintosh gets them? And even assuming he did get them, that didn’t mean he’d be immediately willing to start an in-depth conversation with her about it. He was a lot like her in many ways: shy, reticent, a pony of few words. The odds of those two having a productive discussion about anything were astronomically low; and the odds of either of them being willing to speak up about a deep, personal secret in casual conversation were pretty much nil.

Fluttershy needed help. There was just no getting around it. Sure, Rainbow had helped her already – a little too much, in fact – but it didn’t seem like enough. As much as she feared overstepping herself again, she couldn’t stop her mind from racing in pursuit of another idea. The original plan (helping the two lovebirds find common ground) was solid, but Fluttershy’s method of execution was far too subtle. If she ever wanted to get anywhere with Big Mac, she’d need a little outside assistance.

Soon Rainbow was struck with an idea. At first she simply toyed with it, unwilling to actually give it any real consideration; but it quickly became apparent to her that it might actually work. Her mind raged against itself: it was too daring, it was ridiculous, and it might only embarrass Fluttershy further; but if she did nothing, Fluttershy’s plan was almost certainly doomed to failure.

At last she came to a decision. It was risky, it would have grievous repercussions for everypony involved, and it would require a great personal sacrifice of her own dignity, but it was the only way she could think to help her friend. It was Fluttershy’s only hope.

She just hoped Fluttershy wouldn’t mind.

“Y’know, I never did thank you for this whole arrangement, Miss Twilight,” said Big Macintosh, placing a number of thin and colorful books on the library’s checkout counter. “It sure is nice of you to keep this all hushed up and whatnot.”

Twilight smiled. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all, Big Macintosh. I understand completely.” Using her magic, she seized a quill and scribbled Big Mac’s checkouts down in the library ledger. “Nopony but me ever sees what’s written in here, anyway. Well, Spike sometimes looks at it, but I don’t suppose he really cares now.”

Both ponies laughed. Spike merely rolled his eyes – he was seated on the floor nearby, leaning against a great stack of books with his nose buried in a slender ‘My Little Platypus’ volume. “Okay guys, I get it,” he said impatiently. “Boys and grown-ups liking ‘My Little Platypus’ is funny. Now can you keep it down? I’m trying to read here.”

The little dragon’s curiosity had gotten the better of him yesterday: Cheerilee had been so amused by what Twilight had told her that Spike had soon found himself pressing the unicorn for details. Finding out that Big Mac was secretly a ‘My Little Platypus’ fan had been hilarious…until Spike had bothered to actually give one of the books a look, and discovered that he actually enjoyed them himself. He was now about halfway through the fourth installment and still reading voraciously.

After their laughter died down, Twilight merely smiled at her assistant. “Don’t worry, Spike,” she said with a quiet giggle. “Your secret is safe with me, too.”

“Whatever.” Spike shifted around, turning his back to the two ponies, and continued to read.

“He sure seems taken with those books,” Big Mac noted. He eyed the huge stack of texts, all of them ‘My Little Platypus’ titles. “Maybe even more than I am, by the look of it.”

“Frankly, I still don’t quite see what the big deal is. I tried reading one of them myself, and, well…I didn’t really get it. I mean, the writing was okay, and there were some funny parts…but it just didn’t really strike me as anything special.”

“I guess it just ain’t for everypony, then. Nothin’ wrong with that.”

“I guess not,” said Twilight. “But I’m glad you and Spike are enjoying them. They really aren’t bad at all.”

“Nnnope,” agreed Big Mac. As Twilight finished the checkout process, his mind began to wander. An expression of uncertainty seized his face as memories from yesterday emerged. At length he spoke again: “Uh, Miss Twilight?”

“Yes, Big Macintosh?” She looked back up at him curiously.

“Have you been talkin’ to Cheerilee lately?”

There was a short silence. “Why yes, actually. She was here just yesterday. Why do you ask?”

“Um, you didn’t, uh….” The stallion paused, trying to figure out how to word his question in a non-accusatory manner. “You didn’t…mention this to her, didja? About me likin’ these books, I mean.”

Twilight froze. “Uh…what, um…what makes you say that?” It wasn’t a straight answer – indeed, it wasn’t any kind of answer at all. This just made Big Macintosh even more suspicious, and Twilight more uncomfortable.

“Well, I had lunch with her yesterday, and she kinda seemed like she knew somethin’. I’m not sayin’ you said anything to her, but…well, you didn’t, didja?”

“Uh….” Now Twilight was at a loss for words. She hadn’t meant to tell Cheerilee about Big Mac’s secret hobby – in fact, she thought that the teacher had already known – but there was no way to explain herself without sounding horribly dishonest. She sighed; the truth had to come out, however brutal it may be. “I... – ”

At that very moment, the front door of the library opened. Twilight spun her head around, overjoyed to behold the pony whose timely intervention had granted her a reprieve from great embarrassment. The joy left her all at once the moment she saw who had just stepped inside.

It was Fluttershy. She stood agape and staring at the two other ponies – or more particularly, at Big Macintosh. He was equally petrified: an understandable reaction, considering he had no fewer than three ‘My Little Platypus’ books close at hoof, and in the process of being checked out. Fluttershy’s eyes now fell on those, and then widened considerably. Silence descended upon the room, broken only once by the sound of Spike turning a page of his book.

“Good…good morning, Big Macintosh,” said Fluttershy. “Are those...?”

Big Macintosh realized that he was now left with no other choice. If he wanted to escape this encounter with his dignity intact, he would have to do something truly despicable, something he hated more than almost anything:

He would have to lie.

“They’re, uh…for, um…Apple Bloom.” He grinned like an idiot.

Twilight threw a hoof over her face. His wooden tone of voice, his darting eyes, his goofy expression…Big Macintosh was no better at lying than his sister was. There was no way Fluttershy would buy that, and both ponies knew it.

“Oh…okay, I guess. It’s really nice of you to get those for her, Big Macintosh.” After a moment’s hesitation, Fluttershy merely smiled at him – a sweet, innocent, and seemingly unsuspecting smile.

Wait – had she really bought it? Big Mac knew that she was incredibly sweet and kind, sometimes beyond the point of reason, but surely she was sharper than that. She had to just be playing along, if only for the sake of not hurting his feelings. He looked back to Twilight, trying to gauge the situation by her reaction; oddly, she seemed to be smiling amusedly and stifling a laugh. For the life of him Big Macintosh couldn’t figure out what she found so funny, but he didn’t bother to ask.

Instead, he turned back to Fluttershy. “Err, thank you, Miss Fluttershy,” he said, a little awkwardly. “I just like bein’ helpful, is all.”

“Well, I think it’s wonderful of you,” Fluttershy continued. “You're always so kind to everypony, especially your family. I think it's sweet." She spoke with greater sincerity than he could ever remember hearing from her before; her tone still bore a slight edge of apprehension, but she sounded much more confident than she did the last time they had spoken. He noticed how lovely her voice sounded now that he could actually hear it.

"Aww," Big Mac replied, blushing brightly enough to show even through his red coat. He was unused to such praise. Moreover, there was something about her smile, about the tone of her voice, made him want to take her at face value. Whether or not she believed his cover story was unclear; what was clear was that she meant every word she had said. She really did think he was sweet, and the sentiment meant a great deal to the earth pony. "You're mighty kind yourself," he added, smiling back at her.

Fluttershy continued to stare into his eyes, that beautiful smile never leaving her face. After a short, awkward silence, Twilight cleared her throat softly and muttered something about having important but unspecified things to do elsewhere. She levitated Big Macintosh's books to him (which he balanced on his back), and then made her way upstairs, pausing only briefly to pick Spike up in her telekinetic grasp and carry him from the room as well. He read on, unfazed.

“Well, um…anything I can do for you, Miss Fluttershy?” Big Mac asked once the two of them were alone in the library lobby.

“Oh, no, I don’t suppose there is,” the pegasus replied. She looked again at the books he carried. “Say, Big Macintosh?”

“Eeyup?”

“Have you ever…um…read one of those books yourself? Or at least looked at them?”

For the briefest of moments, the stallion’s eyes shot open wide and his face froze in a look of petrified terror, as though he was staring into the eyes of a cockatrice. In a flash he regained his composure. “Well…sometimes Apple Bloom likes to have somepony read to her to help her get to sleep; Applejack’s usually the one to do that, but sometimes she ain’t available. So I’ve read her these books a time or two.” This much was absolutely true; it was how he had gotten hooked on those books in the first place, so he had no trouble making her buy it.

“Ah. That’s nice,” said Fluttershy. “Do you…I mean, does Apple Bloom enjoy them?”

“Eeeyup,” he answered. “She sure does. She thinks they’re pretty funny and interestin’…and, well…uh, nice.”

“Oh...really?”

“Eeeyup.”

“Oh…that’s nice.”

“Eeeyup.”

Silence.

Unbeknownst to Big Mac, behind Fluttershy’s unbroken smile was a mind in a state of blind panic. The seemingly lucky coincidence of catching Big Macintosh checking out ‘My Little Platypus’ books had forced her to make drastic adjustments to her plan, and now she felt totally lost. She had spent all morning playing the potential scenario over and over in her mind, but the route their conversation had taken thus far was nothing at all like what she had planned; it wasn’t bad, necessarily, but it had thrown her severely off-balance and now she hadn’t the slightest idea where to go from here.

Well…that wasn’t entirely the case. If she could only admit to liking those books herself, she was sure she could coax Big Macintosh into doing the same; and then, as Rainbow Dash said, they’d have something to bond over, a shared interest that might bring them closer together. She tried to say something, but fear stilled her tongue. It was too deep, too dark, too personal a secret to bring out in casual conversation. She just couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t do it.

Her smile began to falter. A dreadful, sickening realization was setting in: she had failed again. This was supposed to be her big chance, her shining moment, the culmination of all her waiting and planning and pining and longing…and here she was, no closer to her goal than she had been when she started. It was far, far too late to salvage this attempt; the apprehension was now overwhelming, her shyness utterly crippling.

Big Macintosh cast a glance at the front door. “Well…nice talkin’ with you, Miss Fluttershy,” he said, unaware of how devastating these simple words were to the pegasus’s heart. They were a final blow to her plan, a confirmation of failure. The End.

“Nice…nice talking with you too,” she answered. Her voice had fallen now into a dead, heartbroken murmur.

A moment passed as the stallion paused, noticing the change in her tone. It worried him; she had seemed so sweetly, wonderfully positive mere moments before, and he had loved seeing her so happy. But it seemed rude to push her about the issue. So he simply made for the door.

It swung open before he could reach it.

“Hey, Twilight! Can you – oh. Whoa.”

Rainbow Dash stopped mid-sentence, staring in surprise to find both Big Macintosh and Fluttershy standing just inside the library. For a moment she simply took in the scene, doing her best to discern what was going on: the fact that Big Macintosh was headed for the door, the defeated look on Fluttershy’s face…it all told her that the original plan had clearly fallen through.

That settled it: it was time to put her own plan into action. It would need a little modification, and would now be more difficult than ever…but she had to try. She just had to, for Fluttershy’s sake.

“Hey, Big Mac. Hey Fluttershy,” she greeted them curtly, and brushing past them made her way over to the staircase. “Hey, Twilight? You up there?”

“Rainbow Dash?” came Twilight’s voice from the upper floor. Seconds later, the unicorn came trotting down the stairs. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Rainbow gathered her willpower. This wasn’t going to be easy. She glanced over her shoulder to confirm that Fluttershy and Big Mac were both still watching her, then turned back to Twilight and said: “Twilight…can I borrow some ‘My Little Platypus’ books?”

“Um…sure you can, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight answered, a little confusedly. “Is there some particular reason…?”

“Yeah, there’s a reason! I love those books! They’re almost as awesome as I am!”

“Oh. Well, okay then,” replied the unicorn. “Spike has them all right now. I’ll see if I can get him to hand some of them over.” She trotted back up the stairs.

Rainbow Dash merely stood and waited, a smug grin plastered across her face. She turned back to see both Fluttershy and Big Macintosh staring wide-eyed at her. The yellow pegasus was blushing furiously to boot. “What?” Dash said. “Can’t a pony read whatever kinds of books she likes?”

“Um…I guess so,” said Big Mac. “Dontcha think so, Fluttershy?”

“Why, yes,” she agreed. “Yes, I do.”

“Good. Now quit staring. You two are giving me the creeps,” said Rainbow. “And you’re making this a lot harder than I thought it would be,” she added under her breath, working to hide a blush of her own. Fluttershy had better appreciate this.

Soon Twilight reappeared, carrying a small stack of books in her magical grasp. “I managed to get a few of them. He’s already finished reading these.”

“Thanks, Twi!” said cyan pegasus, smiling once again. She tucked a few books under each foreleg and took flight, lightly winging her way over to the door. She said goodbye to the other two ponies, and moments later she was gone.

Silence fell, broken only by Twilight’s hoof-falls as she trotted back up the staircase. Fluttershy and Big Macintosh looked at one another.

“Hmmm,” Big Mac hmmmed. “Miss Dash likes those books, too. Wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“Me neither,” said Fluttershy. She turned again, looking at the door by which her friend had just exited. Only now did it dawn on her what Rainbow had done: she’d given Fluttershy her best chance yet. The shy pegasus resolved at once to take advantage of it.

“Well…I guess I can kind of see why she likes them,” she said. She spoke softly, but she grew more confident with every word. “I – um, we used to read them a lot, when we were fillies, and I always thought they were really funny, and cute and interesting.” She looked at the floor; her voice shrank a little. “And I guess I still do.”

“Really?”

Fluttershy nodded.

“I, er…actually,” Big Macintosh began. “That’s kinda how I feel about ‘em, too.”

“Really?” Fluttershy asked, looking quickly up into the stallion’s eyes. Her face brightened considerably, and Big Mac noticed.

“Eeeyup,” he continued. “That’s why I always look forward to it when Apple Bloom wants me to read ‘em to her. I sometimes get an even bigger kick out of ‘em than she does.” He laughed – a hearty, genuine laugh. It made Fluttershy’s heart melt.

She couldn’t help but laugh herself. “So…um…which ones have you read? To Apple Bloom, I mean.”

“Oh, just a few of ‘em. Don’t think I could name ‘em all if you asked me, though. But I remember one particularly: that one with Duckbill and the parachute….”

“Oh, you mean ‘Duckbill and the Parachute?’” Fluttershy guessed, instantly naming the book from memory.

“Eeyup, that’s the one,” Big Mac confirmed, chuckling lightly. “That one’s my favorite. Made me laugh more than just about anything I’ve ever read.”

“I know. That one’s the funniest, I think,” agreed the pegasus. “What about ‘Watermole and the Baby Fox?’ That’s always been my favorite. Have you read that one?”

“Nope, can’t say that I have,” he answered. “Actually,” he added, turning his head and reaching around to his back, “I think I just checked that one out. Here it is.”

“Oh! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. It’s really sweet.” She paused for a moment, gathering her courage for the next question: “Actually, Big Mac…would you mind if I read it with you? It’s been such a long time…I would love to read it again.”

“Sounds fine to me,” he answered, unwittingly sending Fluttershy’s heart soaring. He turned and headed for the door. “And c’mon, I know the perfect spot for readin’. Now, don’t tell nopony, but sometimes, when I’ve finished applebuckin’ for the day, I take one of those books….”

Twilight made it back downstairs just in time to hear the tail end of their conversation, and to see Fluttershy following the big red stallion out the library door. A moment later, Rainbow Dash came down the stairs as well and stood at her side.

“Thanks for letting me back in through your window,” she said to the unicorn. “You know I can’t be seen flying through Ponyville with those books in my hooves.”

“It’s really no problem,” Twilight assured her. “Of course, now Fluttershy and Big Macintosh are both convinced you’re a fan. I doubt this’ll be the last you hear of it.”

“I was afraid of that,” said the pegasus, rubbing her face embarrassedly. “Still, looks like the plan worked. Those two are bound to be an item in no time.” She smiled rather softly. “I’m really proud of Fluttershy, y’know. I mean, I know they aren’t even dating yet, but still…it’s a big step for her, just up and making a new friend like that. I’m really happy for her.”

“So am I, Rainbow,” Twilight agreed. “I’m happy for both of them.”

Dear Diary,

I’m so sorry for not writing in you for so long. It’s been almost two whole months now. But I’m okay, everything is just fine. No, that’s not true – things are a lot better than just fine. Things are perfect.

“Fluttershy? You done writin’ yet?”

“Almost. I just need a few more seconds…if that’s okay, of course.”

“O’course it’s okay. Take your time. I know how important this is to ya.”

“Thanks, Big Macintosh.”

Smiling warmly, she took her pen in her mouth again and returned to her journal.

Rainbow Dash was right. Having something to bond over with Big Macintosh was just what we needed. After that…everything else just came easy, somehow. I have to remember to thank her sometime. She and Twilight and Rarity and…oh, all my friends were really helpful. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for them. And I couldn’t be happier with where I am now.

She set aside the pen and reviewed the entry: it wasn’t exactly all-conclusive, but she had said everything she wanted to say. She closed her diary and returned it to her saddlebag, which was resting against the apple tree on her left. Also leaning against the tree was Big Macintosh: he lay on his back, head and neck propped up against the trunk, holding a ‘My Little Platypus’ book in his hooves.

Fluttershy lay down perpendicular to him, resting her head comfortably on his stomach. Taking his cue, Big Mac opened to the first page of the book and began to read it aloud in his warm, distinctive voice. The pegasus closed her eyes in contentment, letting the words wash over her.

This had been their daily routine for almost a month now. She didn’t mind that they had run out of unread books within the first two weeks, and had to resort to re-reading familiar ones; indeed, this just made her feel even more at ease. Familiarity usually did that for her, as did Big Macintosh’s voice.

All at once, it struck her how perfect the moment was: the warm sun, the gentle breeze, the softness of the grass, the shade from the apple tree, the smooth, lovely voice of her new coltfriend…it stirred her so deeply she couldn’t help but cry out in joy.

“Yay.”

“What was that?” Big Mac asked, pausing his reading.

“Oh, nothing. Everything’s fine,” she said, snuggling closer and smiling up at him. “Everything’s just perfect.”

He smiled back down at her, and continued to read.

Fluttershy closed her eyes again. This, she thought…this was a moment that had been worth waiting for. She couldn’t have hoped for anything better.

THE END

Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

I tried to talk to Big Macintosh. I was so, so close to telling him how I felt, but…it was just so hard. It took me too long to work up the nerve, and then…well, something interrupted us and I just had to leave. But I’m okay now, I think. I have a new idea.

I know Rarity said that things would work out best if I’m open and straightforward, but I think that may be a little too hard for me. If I could find something else to talk with him about, it would be easier. Something we both really care about.
I know it’s been years, but do you remember those ‘My Little Platypus’ books? The ones I used to write about all the time, back before we came to Ponyville?

I, um…I kind of still have them. I know I’ve never told you this before, but I still like to read them sometimes. And Rainbow Dash apparently thinks that Big Macintosh likes them, too. I think, maybe, if he really does, then this could be…

Fluttershy’s thoughts wandered off into uncertainty, and she found that she could write no more, not even to complete the last sentence. She set her pen aside and heaved a long, deep sigh. Recalling Rainbow Dash’s suggestion darkened her mood. However good a plan it was, it was available to her only because her closest friend had, to some degree, betrayed her trust. Revealing so deep a secret, even to another close friend, seemed to Fluttershy like something the Element of Loyalty would never do. It bothered her mightily, and she wondered how she should greet Rainbow when next they met: should she be angry? Upset? Disappointed? Or should she say nothing of it at all, and be merely grateful that Dash hadn’t spilled any more of her secrets?

All this worrying was wearying. She needed some rest.

Pushing her diary aside for the moment Fluttershy turned herself around, resting her head on her pillow and sprawling her tired limbs out across the bed. The early-afternoon sun shone lazily through her window, lulling her into a sense of calm that drove all the day’s unpleasantness from her mind. A nice, long nap would probably work wonders for her troubled psyche. She’d likely feel much better when she awoke. Then she could get to work putting her new plan into action.

Just as she was on the verge of drifting off to sleep, a sudden knock at the door caught Fluttershy’s attention. She sat up, instantly awake, and leapt from her bed, quickly making her way downstairs. Angel was already standing by the door, hopping up and down and pointing to indicate a visitor; she nodded at him in acknowledgement, and he hopped away and went about his business, whatever it was. Fluttershy seldom knew.

Opening the door, she found herself staring into the eyes of the one pony she felt the least ready to see.

“Uh…hey, Fluttershy. Mind if I come in?”

Rainbow Dash stood in the doorway, awkwardly rocking back and forth on her legs. She wore a sheepish and rather nervous expression, and smiled uncomfortably at her friend.

“Oh…yes, please come in, Rainbow,” Fluttershy answered, stepping back to allow the other pegasus entrance.

Once inside, Rainbow glanced around, taking stock of Fluttershy’s home: it wasn’t often that she came around anymore.
The shy yellow pegasus had been so reclusive in the last few weeks. It was almost odd being in her home again.

She turned back around to face Fluttershy. Her eyes wandered, and she rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof. “Look, I, uh…I kinda wanted to apologize. I just talked to Pinkie, and she said she’d seen you, and she told you about…well, about what I told her.”

Fluttershy stared back at Rainbow, her face inscrutable. “It’s…it’s okay, Rainbow Dash,” she said, softly and after a long silence. Her tone sounded quite insincere, even to her.

“No, no it’s not,” Rainbow insisted. “I know I never actually promised not to tell anypony or anything, but I knew it was your secret and I…” She hung her head in shame. “…I should’ve respected it. Some Element of Loyalty I am.”

Silence reigned once again, and this time for far longer. Rainbow Dash continued to stare at the floor and be stared at by Fluttershy. At last Dash spoke up again:

“I just…well, after I talked to you yesterday, I wanted to find someplace else to nap…and there were some trees on the other end of Sweet Apple Acres that looked really comfy….” She looked back at Fluttershy, hoping for some manner of response; Fluttershy nodded for her continue.

“So yeah, I ended up dozing off in a tree right over Big Mac’s head. I don’t think he noticed me at all, even after I woke up. He was just sitting there against the tree with one of those ‘My Little Platypus’ books in his hooves.”

“Do you remember which one it was?” asked Fluttershy, and then immediately regretted doing so; it was beside the point, and what’s more, it exposed more of her inner ‘My Little Platypus’ geek than she was comfortable with.

Dash didn’t seem to mind. “I don’t know, sorry. But whichever one it was, it had to have been funny. He was cracking up. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Big Mac laugh so much.”

Fluttershy smiled a little, thinking of the sound of the stallion’s laughter: it was so hearty, and yet so gentle; so much like himself. Her face fell once again when she remembered the situation at hoof. Rainbow had yet to provide her with a satisfying excuse for what she’d done.

After another short silence, Rainbow continued, a little more sheepishly than before: “So, um…I just, y’know, kinda thought it was funny, Big Mac liking ‘My Little Platypus’ and all, and I just wanted to tell somepony about it. I had to wait until he left, though – there was no way I could’ve flown off without him noticing me.”

She sighed, as though the next portion of her story was harder to tell. It was. “While I was flying over to Sugarcube Corner – I thought Pinkie would get a real kick out of it – I started thinking about…well, about you, and what you’d told me earlier that day. And I wanted to help you.”

“Help me?”

“Yeah. Look, you know I don’t know anything about all that sappy-huggy-feely romance stuff. I just thought, ‘hey, if Fluttershy and Big Mac like the same books, maybe they could…I dunno, bond over it, or something.’ It made sense to me, but it sounded kinda dumb in my head, really. I wanted to get somepony else’s opinion and well, there was Pinkie. I left out the part about you liking Big Mac, but I told her everything else.”

There was another brief pause before Rainbow began again. “I just thought, if he hadn’t gotten that book from you, where could he have gotten it? So I figured you’d let him borrow it, and so that’s what I told Pinkie.” She sighed. “I know, shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that. Hay, I shouldn’t have even said anything in the first place. It’s just that…I worry about you, ‘Shy.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened in surprise. “You…worry about me?”

“Yeah, I do. I mean, it’s not that I don’t think you can take care of yourself – Celestia knows you can do that – but you spend so much time by yourself, you sometimes seem a little…I don’t know, lonely, I guess.”

“Lonely?” Fluttershy echoed.

“I don’t know, maybe,” Rainbow continued. “And it’s not just that. Sometimes you seem kind of unhappy, too, especially in the last couple of months. I was worried that you were getting so shy that you were eventually gonna hole up in your cottage and turn into some kind of crazy animal lady.”

Fluttershy had to fight back an amused grin. Dash smiled a little bit herself, now realizing how silly her fear sounded. But her expression quickly sobered and she continued to speak:

“So when I found out that you had a thing for Big Macintosh, I was…well, I know I didn’t really show it, but I was pretty excited. It seemed like just the kind of thing you needed. Something that would make you happy. That’s why I was so proud of you when you said you wanted to talk to Big Mac all by yourself. It showed me that you still felt like you could handle things yourself. But I still wanted to help, and I…I’m just sorry I goofed it up so badly.”

Again Rainbow hung her head shamefully, unable to look her friend in the eye. “Fluttershy, I am so, so sorry. I should’ve asked you about it first. I should’ve – ” Dash’s apology was cut off when Fluttershy stepped forward and threw her forelegs around her in a tight hug. “Uh…‘Shy? What’s this for?”

“For wanting to help me,” Fluttershy answered softly. “For caring.”

“But…but I spilled your secret. I was an awful friend. I wasn’t…I wasn’t loyal….”

“You’re a wonderful friend, Rainbow. And you were loyal enough to help me when I needed help, not just when I wanted it. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

“Aww, Fluttershy,” Rainbow said with a warm smile. She returned the hug, and after some time the two parted. When they drew back, she noticed Fluttershy’s eyes glisten just a little, but she didn’t mention it. “So…what’re you gonna do now?” she asked, trying to inject some life back into the room. After so long a period of gooshiness, the restless pegasus felt the need to get the proverbial ball rolling again.

“Well…I had a plan, sort of,” Fluttershy explained. “I was going to find Big Macintosh tomorrow, and just talk to him about…well, anything really. And I’d just kind of, I don’t know…drop a few ‘My Little Platypus’ references. Very subtle ones. Do you…do you think he’d get them? Oh dear, what if he doesn’t? Then I’d have to explain it, and it’d be so embarrassing….”

“Hey hey hey, hold up there,” Rainbow interrupted, cutting off Fluttershy’s gloomy rambling before she had a chance to talk herself out of her plan. “That sounds like a decent enough plan to me. Just don’t lose sight of the goal, okay? At some point you’re gonna have to tell him how you feel about him.”

“Oh – right, yes,” Fluttershy agreed. “But I think I’ll need some time to get ready. The last time I tried to talk to him…well, it didn’t work out very well. But this time will be different – I know it will.” She looked her friend in the eye and smiled softly. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash.”

The other pegasus returned the smile. “Any time, ‘Shy.” With that, she said goodbye and made for the door. As soon as she was gone, Fluttershy returned to her bedroom: she had a diary entry that needed to be finished.

No matter how many times Big Macintosh and Cheerilee ate lunch together as friends, the waiter would not stop treating them as though they were still a couple. He had led them to a nicely secluded table; brought out a set of “romantic” candles (which frankly looked rather ridiculous in the brightly-lit restaurant); and incessantly addressed the two as one: “And what can I get for the lovely couple? Would you two lovebirds care for an appetizer?” It was profoundly annoying, and more than a little embarrassing for both of them.

At last he left them alone, having taken their orders. The moment he was out of earshot, the two ponies both released exasperated groans.

“I thought he’d never leave,” said Cheerilee. “Why can’t he just leave us be?”

Big Macintosh looked in the waiter’s direction; he had just stepped inside the kitchen. “I think,” he said in a low voice, “he was kind of sweet on you back before we started datin’. A lotta folks were. And they didn’t take too kindly to the way we went about breakin’ up, so nice and all, and with you sayin’ you didn’t need special somepony to be happy. Guess he’s just kinda resentful.”

Cheerilee shook her head and laughed bitterly. “There are foals I teach who don’t act that childishly. It’s disappointing to see such immature behavior from a grown stallion.”

“Some ponies I guess there just ain’t no reasonin’ with,” said Big Mac. “But you don’t need to let it get you down. This whole mess’ll blow over ‘fore too long.”

“It seems to have blown over already, for the most part. There are just a few holdouts here and there. But you’re right: we don’t have to let it bother us.”

“Nnnope,” agreed Big Mac.

The sound of much indistinct grumbling came from the direction of the kitchen, followed by the waiter’s voice: “I know, right? They’re just here as ‘friends.’ Gahh!”

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “The cook too, huh?”

Big Mac nodded, a distinct look of exasperation falling across his face. “Like I said, there were a whole lotta folks that had their eye on you.”

“Well, I’m glad you got to me first,” said Cheerilee, speaking over the cook’s angry (but still indistinct) ramblings. “I’d hate to have learned my lesson from one of them.”

“Eeeyup,” agreed Big Mac once again. The two friends shared a pleasant laugh at the expense of the heartbroken café employees.

Eventually their laughter died down, as did the noise from the kitchen. After a short, comfortable silence, Cheerilee spoke: “What about you, Big Mac?”

“Um…what about me, Cheerilee?”

“Are you happy by yourself? Without a special somepony, I mean?”

“Sure,” he answered without hesitation. “It’s like I always said: it just gives me more time for my family, and for takin’ care of the farm. That’s just about all I’ve got time for, anyway.”

“Really?” asked the teacher, raising an eyebrow in incredulity. “That’s all you’ve got time for? You haven’t picked up any hobbies since we broke up? Or maybe before we broke up?”

“Uh….” For a short moment, Big Macintosh was at a loss for words. The way Cheerilee had worded her question…the tone of her voice…it almost sounded suspicious. Like she already knew the answer, but just wanted him to admit it to her. “Well…I’ve taken to readin’ a lot, lately. Nice way to unwind after a long day of applebuckin’.”

Cheerilee smiled. She looked almost triumphant, like a predator in the midst of overcoming its prey. Big Mac started to sweat. Surely, she couldn’t know about…that, could she?

He never got a chance to find out. A moment later, there was much commotion from the kitchen; then an ominous trail of black smoke began to pour out of it. The waiter emerged, his face red with rage and embarrassment, while the cook launched into an angry rant that could be heard throughout the restaurant. He seemed to be railing against the oven as though it had caught fire on purpose. He was hurling some rather vile insults at it, too.

Cheerilee tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh. “I guess some ponies just shouldn’t be allowed to cook while they’re angry.”

“Eeeyup.”