Fluttershy Wants Them Dinotendies
And Nothing Will Stop Her
Tendies.
What's in a tendy?
A tendy by any other name is just as delicious.
Golden brown crust coats succulent meat, baked at a measly three-seventy-five in your standard oven, frying superbly in its own oils and juice until perfection is reached. In that moment, divinity graces our mortal realm as sweet meat-scents waft elegantly, almost tugging one by their nostrils. Gaze upon your God. The all-powerful delicacy cooks to absolute perfection before your very eyes. Mouths water, taste buds tingle in anticipation, and heart rates rise to a fever pitch with the climax—when the baking tray is removed.
Tendies are love. Tendies are life. And none more so than those shaped like a dino.
Fluttershy gazed into the ajar freezer. Placed front and center, facing the world, a beautiful sight. A colorful cardboard box, yellow and orange, with a smiling cartoon dinosaur looking into her very soul. Before the dinosaur, like an offering from a god to his disciples, a plate blanketed in golden brown nuggets. Each nugget shaped like the dinosaur himself, as if saying “partake of my flesh, my child, and you will know true bliss.”
Hand quivering, Fluttershy reached. That sweet, squiggly smile and black dot eyes tugged her deeper into the freezer as an orgasmic moan slipped from the teen’s lips. But just when her prize was almost in her grasp, a hand appeared before her eyes, waving back and forth.
Fluttershy jumped back, whimpering when she nearly slipped.
“Earth to Fluttershy! Come in, Fluttershy!” Pinkie called through clasped hands, ending with a staticky crackle. She gave a half frown, looking at her friend to see Fluttershy distraught. “What’s up? We getting a snack or what?”
“Dinotendies…” Fluttershy mumbled, pointing into the still-open freezer where the still-smiling still-dinosaur still-waited.
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. After a moment, she turned to the freezer spotting spot—the dinosaur mascot—in all his cardboardy glory. When she whirled back around to Fluttershy, the shy girl was again transfixed on the box.
“Right, meat.” Pinkie placed her hand to her chin, striking a thinking pose as she oft did when thoughts needed thinking. She stroked an imaginary beard as though ideas were tangled and only her fingers could set them free. Which they did, somehow, because after a particularly long comb through her imaginary beard, an idea came loose and lodged itself in her brain.
“Carrots. A vegetarian's chicken!” Pinkie proclaimed with a finger thrust skyward.
“No, I want the dinotendies!” Fluttershy took a half-step half-toward the now half-open freezer which was closing quick since Pinkie twirled around and slapped the door.
“What?” Pinkie said, slackjawed. “Fluttershy, those are meat!”
“I know!” Fluttershy puffed out her cheeks. “And I want them!”
Finger thrust forward, Pinkie wagged it to and fro. “You're vegan!”
“I know!”
Suddenly Pinkie snapped stiff, like a pole. “Does not compute!” she said, monotoned, followed by another static sound effect. She shook her head. “Besides,” she began, “Maud’s home from college this week and those are hers.”
Fluttershy's bottom lip quivered as it hung open.
“So no tendies, toots.” Pinkie shrugged. Bouncing back with a smile, she spun and popped opened the fridge. “Let's get some nice carrots topped with chocolate sauce. That's something vegans eat, right?” Without missing a beat, she poked her head down in the fridge and rummaged.
Back now to Fluttershy, she didn't see the sweet girl’s face. Eyes narrowed at Pinkie, burning with intense rage to the point lava might've just spilled out. Bright red flashed before Fluttershy's eyes with visions of smashing Pinkie’s head in the fridge door and taking what was hers. Between each flash, an image popped into her head. That sweet dinosaur and his warm smile.
“Dinotendies…” she muttered. The word echoed in her mind over and over again, filling every single moment until it was all she could think.
After Fluttershy had left, dinner was had, and the night was winding down, Pinkie sat at her desk in her bedroom. Looking down at a filled notebook page with numbers, plus signs, equal signs, and all the other signs associated, she stretched, which soon turned into a yawn. “The sun’s gone to bed, and so should I,” she sang to herself. Moving to her bedroom window, just before she closed the blinds, something caught her eye. What looked like Fluttershy standing across the street staring at her house. Pinkie squinted, but just before any doubt cleared, a car passed, and there was nothing there.
Pinkie shook her head. “I’m surprised I didn’t see the quadratic formula over there,” she said with a chuckle. “That’d really be out of a horror movie.”
She closed her blinds and tucked herself in for the night. It didn’t take long for her to arrive at dream central station where her imagination could truly run wild. Unfortunately for Pinkie, it may have run a little too wild. A giant looming Fluttershy stood over her, reaching down and plucking her up between her thumb and index finger. Pinkie screamed for Fluttershy to put her down, but no words came. The only thing she could feel was a smell. The delicious, intoxicating smell of fried chicken. It engulfed her to the point of suffocation—choking the very life out of her.
Fluttershy opened her mouth positioning Pinkie over it. Then she realized why she smelled chicken. Because she was the source. She was a chicken nugget. Pinkie tried to scream again, but Fluttershy released her, down into her waiting mouth.
Just then Pinkie snapped awake. She breathed heavily with the smell of chicken still clinging to her nostrils. “What a dream…”
As Pinkie lay her head down, ready to drift back to sleep, she noticed something peculiar. In her dream, she smelled chicken because she was chicken, but that smell hadn’t gone away. The intoxicating aroma of sizzling chicken was still in the air, but more than that, it was real. Pinkie glanced toward her door. The dream and seeing Fluttershy outside—it couldn’t be.
Creeping out of her room and down the stairs, Pinkie saw a shadow cast from the kitchen light. Surely it was Maud making a late night snack. But the closer she got, the less and less likely the one inside the kitchen was her sister. No, this person hummed—something Maud distinctly didn’t do—and when Pinkie was just outside the kitchen, she knew exactly whose voice it was. The sweet, angelic chorus of “dinotendies, dinotendies,” cemented it. Pinkie zipped around the corner into the kitchen and caught the culprit red-handed.
Fluttershy stood, wide-eyed with nugget between her lips.
“Stop right there, chicken-stealing scum!” Pinkie held her hands outstretched like a gun.
Suddenly, Fluttershy tipped her head back like a dog letting the morsel drop down into her lusting maw. “I can explain,” she spat out with crumbles of chewed chicken.
“You broke into my house to steal some chicken nuggets! What's to explain?” Pinkie’s face contorted, torn between rage and confusion.
“Dinotendies,” Fluttershy corrected.
“They're chicken nuggets, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. “Dinotendies…” she repeated, darkly.
“I'm not having this discussion right now.” Pinkie covered her eyes. “I can't believe you’d—” when Pinkie lowered her hands, a baking sheet was there to greet her. And greet her it did by smashing into her face. Pinkie toppled back, a sting rippling through her nose. Her face burned, which took a second to click why. The faint smell of chicken oil on the sheet cemented it. Next thing she knew was the floor, which decided to greet the back of her head harder than the baking sheet did the front. Pinkie slapped the searing hot tray off her face just in time to see Fluttershy leap over her with a fist-full of stolen meat. She scrambled to her feet, but Fluttershy was too fast. The crazed girl dipped out of the house before Pinkie even made it out of the kitchen.
“I know where you go to school!” Pinkie called out the open back door.
School the next day was the same as usual for Pinkie, save for everyone asking her what happened since her nose and cheeks had bandages and her forehead was bright red. But the sympathies and probing questions weren't what was on Pinkie's mind. Far from it, in fact. No, she was waiting on pins and needles for one period. Lunch. The only period she had with any of her friends.
When the bell rang, she rushed off and got to the lunch table where all her friends sat around without a care in the world. Almost like none of them had their faces smashed in with a cooking sheet. Pinkie locked eyes on Fluttershy looking a little smaller than usual. She strode up to her friends, eyes beaming like a laser right on the meek girl. “Hey, girls!” Pinkie said in her usual bubbly voice, but a glare rested between her first-degree burns and bandage. “So, Fluttershy, what the hell was that about yesterday?
“What?” Sunset was the first to ask. “Pinkie, what happened to your face?”
“Oh, Fluttershy didn't tell you?” She turned her gaze, feigning surprise to all her friends. “That’s so weird she didn't tell you.”
“Tell us what?” Rainbow bounced from Pinkie to Fluttershy with the latter sinking ever lower into her seat.
“I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise now.” Pinkie waved her hand. “Why don't you tell them, Fluttershy.”
“Seriously, knock off the theatrics and just tell us what happened.” Applejack focused on Pinkie, concern growing on her face.
“Fluttershy broke into my house and hit me with a cookie sheet last night!” Accusatory finger thrust forward from Pinkie’s hand down at Fluttershy forcing her to sink down to the point only her eyes were above the table.
The table fell silent for a moment while Sunset nodded. After collecting her thoughts, she cleared her throat. “That doesn't sound like Fluttershy…”
Pinkie flailed her arms in the air. “I know! I thought that too as she bashed my face in after stealing my sister's chicken nuggets.”
A scoff from Rarity. “Well, now we know you're delusional, darling.” She placed a soft, comforting hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Fluttershy’s vegan. She doesn't eat meat.”
“Dinotendies…” Fluttershy muttered.
Everyone turned to her.
“They weren't chicken nuggets. They were dinotendies.” Just then the timid girl climbed up from the hole she sunk into and sat tall. A defiant look met Pinkie’s gaze.
Pinkie spread her hand. “Straight from the horse’s mouth.”
With a sigh, Fluttershy patted Rarity’s hand. “I'm sorry, Pinkie,” she began, her look softening. “When I was a kid, I absolutely loved dinotendies the most. It was all I ever ate. And when I didn't get them, I would throw tantrums, break things, hurt people even until I got those sweet, sweet dinotendies.”
Pinkie nodded, following the girl’s story.
“When I saw those at your house yesterday, it brought all those memories flooding back—how good they tasted, and how happy they made me.” Fluttershy sniffled. “My parents won’t let me eat meat anymore. They forced me onto a vegan diet to end my cravings, and I let go of who I was to satisfy my base desires.” She looked up to Pinkie, tears starting to form in her eyes. “I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
“You broke into my house and assaulted me because of a demonic meat lust.” Pinkie pressed her hands together, took a deep breath. “I'm not one to end friendships, but this?” She pointed down at her feet. “This may take a bit to roll off me.”
Rainbow cleared her throat. When everyone looked at her, she leaned back in her chair, throwing her arm around the back. “So, is that child abuse?”
“Putting your child on a vegan diet?” Rarity asked for clarification.
Rainbow nodded. “I mean, I know I'd go crazy without meat.” Casually, she kicked her leg up and crossed it over the other.
Silence fell over the table. What felt like minutes passed as only the droning white noise around them filled the air. Slowly, a smirk spread across Rainbow’s face. As her smile grew, she shifted her eyes to each person, where in turn they all started back at her, flatly. “Come on,” she finally said.
Applejack groaned. “Really?”
“It's out there.” Rainbow shrugged, confidently.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “I bet sausage is what you'd miss most, right?”
Rainbow pointed at her and chuckled. “You know it!”
Pinkie slammed her hands on the table. “Stop making dick jokes! My nose is broken!”
End
