Never Eat Celestia's Cake

by Illusia

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1675

Celestia, deprived of her morning cake. Is angrier than ever, and ready to destroy the idiot that ate her delicious pastry.

What a lovely day! Celestia regretted that thought with a burning passion when she opened a fridge missing her favorite cake. Her blood boiled, she fought back the urge to destroy the entire room around her. Princess Celestia makes it her mission to find and destroy the runt that ate her cake.

Published 2017-11-05 23:00:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-05 23:00:11 UTC

My... Cake...

Princess Celestia awoke... Her eyes had been bloodshot from the sleep deprivation she had experienced over the past week. She'd stretched her long front hooves and glanced out the window to the right. She saw that her sister, Luna, was in the process of lowering the beauteous moon. Celestia, making sure said moon had slipped past the dark horizon, lit her horn... The sun shook slightly as she mustered the strength to even attempt to attempt to lift the massive ball of flames. With a sigh, Celestia focused on her breath and raised the radiant sun. Letting out a gasp for air, she tumbled back onto her bed, which caused her to slam her head on the golden bed frame and roll over onto the carpeted floor. She groaned slightly, and pushed her self back up onto all four hooves.

Celestia stumbled out of the room, she attempted to smile at the royal guards that filled the regal hallways, but anything she was able to bring out faded almost as soon as it started. She did manage to slip in a minuscule smile at herself because she still had one last cake in the fridge. Just the sheer thought of that delicious pastry made her mouth water. She made her way towards the Canterlot kitchen, slamming into the walls of the palace more than just a couple of times. She beamed at the tall fridge, it was the doorway to her happiness, the one thing that would light up her day, the one thing that always did. Her beautiful, precious, cake.

Her world around her shattered into a million pieces on the floor as she opened the fridge door. Her eyes turned more bloodshot than they already had been. She could practically feel the hot steam flowing out from her nostrils. The blank state on her face quickly shifted into a rage induced frown. She slammed the fridge door, shaking the entirety of the kitchen and leaving a massive crack in the wall that lay behind the fridge. She fought back the urge to destroy the entire palace. She looked to her left, to her right, she scanned the entire room looking for any possible sign of who could have eaten her cake. Then the thought hit her like a tidal wave... Luna. Celestia's head turned to the right, she made her way down the dark hallway towards Luna's quarters.

Princess Luna's doors flew off of their hinges and into the wall as Celestia stormed in.

"Really!? I just got those doors replaced!" Luna shouted at her.

"Oh please!" Princess Celestia patience grew thin, "You ate my cake!"

Luna could see the fire in Celestia's bloodshot eyes. They blazed with the fury of a thousand tormented suns.

"As much as I hate to disappoint you oh holier than thou sister," Luna rolled her eyes, "I did not touch your cake."

Celestia felt her blood boil, her glare fixed on her sister. Luna ate HER cake, and was now lying about it!? She would not stand for this nonsense. She gripped Luna with her magic and flung her across the room.

"DO NOT LIE TO ME SISTER!" Celestia screamed.

Princess Luna caught herself before she slammed into the wall behind her.

"I would not lie to you about eating cake!" Luna shouted, the tone in her voice was audibly much more angry, "But I think I knew who might have..."

Celestia released her glare from the Princess of the Moon, taking another step towards her.

"Well spill it out Luna!" Celestia demanded.

"Alright... Alright." Luna gave in to her demands, "Look... I saw some hooded pony walk in earlier today, perhaps while you were still asleep. He headed towards the royal kitchen. I followed him, but when I arrived... He was gone... Along with your oh so precious cake... Now would you leave me alone..." Luna attempted to lower the anger in her own voice.

"For now Luna... For now. But mark my words, if I find out that his has anything to do with you... You will most certainly regret it." The fire in Princess Celestia's eyes died down, "I am sorry for interrupting your alone time... Please... Continue on with whatever it was you were doing before I so rudely stormed in. In the mean time, I will make it my mission to find and destroy this imbecile who ate my cake. Until next time dear sister."

Celestia marched out of Luna's room, attempting to put the door back in its hinges with her magic, but to no avail. She gave up and slowly treaded away. She made her way back down the long corridors to the royal kitchen, thoroughly scanning the fridge to make sure the cake actually wasn't there. It was worse than she had thought, she found a note at the very back of the fridge. The folded note read,
Dearest Princess Celestia,

I regret to inform you that I have taken your cake and I am now holding it hostage in the basement of Sugarcube Corner. Please meet me there within the hour.

The fire in Celestia's eyes had once again returned, the entire palace of Canterlot shook as she disappeared into thin air, leaving a golden magical aura behind her. She reappeared at the front doors of the great Sugarcube Corner. She, once again, sent the door flying across the pastry shop with a burst of powerful magic, ignoring the kind pony who attempted to greet her. She ripped open the locked door to the basement and lit up the entire room, scouring it for the pony who took her cake. Her eyes moved from side to side, looking across the room. She saw nothing, but heard a clapping noise behind her.

"Good job, you found me! Though it shouldn't have been that hard." Celestia could make out the faint smile of that resided behind the shadow of the pony's hood.

"You left a note telling me exactly where you are." Celestia deadpanned, "Now tell me, where is my cake!" Celestia made sure the pony saw the hellfire in her eyes.

"Oh great Celestia, it's behind you."

Celestia turned around to see HER cake, presented on a small silver platter... Like it was a worthless object to be consumed by worthless ponies. She felt her soul disappear at the sight of this atrocity. The room burst into fire, her screams audible even behind the sound of raging fire. Was this it? She asked herself. The random thought spilled into her mind. This was how she turned into that murderous, insane, maniacal pony. Her memory went back to her time in the dream realm, when her and Luna's cutie marks had been switched. The soul shattering voice sounded off from behind her.

"Yes... But can you stop me! Daybreaker!"

No... She told herself multiple times... NO! But her resistance was futile, the pony stole her cake, she felt her sanity slip away from her, her mind twisted from the inside out, and with one last burst of fire... She'd become Daybreaker.

Within an instant she'd pinned the hooded pony against the stone basement wall, and removed his ever mysterious hood. The pony had turned into shadows and shifted into a tall beast, a familiar beast... Discord. She felt her nerves at ease, and with slight struggle, she transformed back into the Princess of the Sun.

"What is wrong with you!?" Celestia shouted at him, feeling her blood boil once more.

"Celly? Did you really forget that today is your birthday?" Discord chuckled, "I wanted to celebrate it with you!" Confetti shot out around Discord.

"But I probably wouldn't of if I'd known you'd turn into such a raging beast!" Discord had formed a dark rain cloud above his head and frowned. Celestia began to feel sorry for the draconequus.

"I... Uh... Forgive me Discord. I shouldn't have burst out like that, whether it was you or anybody else. I'd completely lost my composure and I can only hope that you will find it in your... Wait do you even have a soul?" Celestia questioned.

"Hmmm," The question actually made Discord think, "Probably not, but yes, I forgive you!" Discord cheered and hugged Celestia, "But now you must come with me to Chaosville! I have a pleasant surprise set up for you. Well... It's not really a surprise anymore, but that's alright!" Discord beamed.

"I am fine with that, my schedule should be mostly clear today." Celestia smiled back.

Discord grabbed her hoof and teleported them to quite an odd place, it looked exactly like Equestria... But not?Everything was distorted and some things were inside out, there was no order, only... Chaos. Obviously.

"This place is, uh, nice... I guess." Princess Celestia smiled once more.

"Thank you!" Discord escorted them into a large twisted house.

Inside said house was a nice small table with a massive white cake that had Celestia's face on it, almost too big for the table entirely. And 1,618 tiny candles lay on top of the intricate cake, reminding Celestia of how long she'd actually lived.

"You know, it's nice to finally have someone to celebrate a birthday with me. The last time I remember something like this was the day before Luna's banishment, when I was six hundred. It's been eighteen years since she's returned, and I'm glad she's back." Princess Celestia beamed, "And the cake was wonderful!"

"Was?" Discord looked at back the table, the cake was gone, "You ate it all... In less than thirty seconds..."

Princess Celestia chuckled and Discord giggled back.

"You never cease to amaze me Celestia..."

"You know I love cake." Princess Celestia smiled.

"I know..." Discord couldn't help but laugh once more.

Author's Note

Welp, it's two in the morning, I'm tired and bored. Extremely short one shot but whatever, more stories to come... or something like that! I also edited it thanks to the suggestions of the wonderful Tropical Applejack and added a little secret fourth wall breakage if you can find it!