Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, pouring down her cheeks and pooling in a small puddle by her feet. A lightbulb flicked just above her, providing light in the nighttime’s shadows. She touched her cheeks with her hands, trying to wipe them dry. But tears continued to streak across her paling skin.
With a hysteric sob, Starlight kicked the white piece of plastic on the ground with her foot, pressing her lips together and choking on her shaking voice. The world was blurry, a flickering haze of black and dimmed colors. Her eyes landed on the kitchen, and with a newfound purpose, she stumbled through the doorway, pushing away cups and ignoring their shattering sounds. With shaky hands, she drew a bottle of liquor, and placed it on her chapped lips, drowning in the liquid. It swirled in her mouth, comforting her, filling her cold fingertips with a warmth.
She might not have a baby, but she had her drunken dreams to turn to.
The voice, with the phone’s speakers distorting every so slightly, spoke. “Hey, Starlight, I wanted to call again. You sounded really… well, really drunk last night. Heh. I’ll come over in the morning to check on you, I’d come now but I’m busy with diplomatic meetings. Hope you’re okay. Also, how’s what’s his name, Cha-”
There was an audible groan that sounded in the room, Starlight’s skinny finger tapping a button on her phone. A small popup on the screen informed her of the message’s deletion, leaving her alone to a thunderous pain in her head and an echoing silence in her home. Pressed up in her dark, black leather couch in the living room, Starlight drew in a breath, massaging her temple with one hand and placing her phone beside her with the other. Her hoodie clinged to her sweaty skin.
All around Starlight was silence. The coffee table in front of her offered itself as a footrest, her aching muscles straining to pick themselves up. With a grunt, he legs thudded against the wood, propped up and sore. She chewed the inside of her cheek, leaning her head back, eyeing the flat screen T.V. just a few feet ahead of her. The wall it was attached to was a plain, drab, unremarkable white color. Utterly useless. Maybe today she’d paint it green. Green was interesting.
She turned to her side, the scent of liquor still strong on her clothes. Pajamas were too much of a hassle to put on, after all. She stopped, tracing her jeans with a ginger touch of her thumb. Would it be too much to dress her own child at night, picking out their favorite color pair of pants and shirt, poking jokes with them as she headed her very own child off to bed? Of course she wouldn’t mind. She hadn’t minded before.
In the corner of her eyes, she could almost trace the outline of a foal clinging to the iv stuck in it’s small hand.
But there was no child. Just silence. So Starlight rested her head against the cold leather, biting the inside of her cheek, tasting her sour breath and metal. Tugging at her hoodie strings, she pulled them as tight as she could, hoping for the darkness of the cloth covering her eyes to shield herself from the fact that she was alone. That her unlikely future baby would turn out just as messed up as her if blessed enough to live past a year old. But what mother passed out drunk in the kitchen inches away from a used pregnancy test and a shattered mug? Did she deserve another child at all? Maybe his death was a punishment for her...
There was a knocking that sliced through the silence, pushing against Starlight’s forehead with a searing pain. She could only mumble, pulling her hoodie over her head.
Twilight could wait. Twilight and her stupid husband and happy life could wait. Silent murmurs from the outside danced in her ears, pounding against her head, until her door cracked open, and their voices became clear.
“Honey, I don’t think Sunset likes us breaking in…” Twilight muttered, slowly making her way to the living room. “It’d also be bad press if a princess was caught breaking and entering.” She laughed a little.
“It’s not breaking in if we use the spare key I made without her consent,” Sunburst remarked, the a cracking sound reaching Sunset’s ears. “Oh dear… is this the mug you gave her? And is that…”
The sound of footsteps came awfully close to Starlight’s head, a gentle voice threatening to rip her head of of her skull as the migraine increased. “Starlight, I know things aren’t going well, but please get up. You had me worried last night.”
“No,” she hissed in the confined of her hoodie, folding her arms over her chest. “I need alone time. And sleep.”
Twilight groaned, sitting down on the couch beside her. “Chad didn’t workout, so? It’s not good to... Well, you’ll find the right man soon.”
“It’s easy for you to say, Princess. Shouldn’t you be at the castle or something?”
“You live, what, a block down from me?” She remarked. “I’m going to check in on my friend when she drunkenly calls me at 3 am,” Twilight continued, her hand resting on Starlight’s hoodie. “Do you want to show your face to the world now?”
Starlight sighed, pulling her face out of the entrapment of cloth. “Fine.”
“Good,” Twilight said, running her hand on her horn, swirling her thumb on the grooves than ran up and down it. “ Ugh, my horn’s still sore from dragging you out of the bar last week.” She chuckled, Starlight joining her as she leaned up. Sunburst’s ears fell against his head, a grimace covering his face.
“Yeah, well, I don’t find her alcoholism so charming.” He then shared a look with Twilight, the alicorn’s eyes losing a bit of their sparkle. “We talked about this, honey. Tell Starlight.”
“Tell me… what?”
Twilight drew in a breath, closing her eyes. She folded her hands in her lip, her brows creasing. She fidgeted with her feet.“Well… Sunburst and I talked, and, we think it’s better if you… well, we’re cutting off some of the funds we’ve been giving you.”
Starlight’s pupils dilated. “What!?” She darted up from the couch, her face twisted into a scowl. “You know I can’t work after-”
“It was five years ago, Starlight!” Twilight’s voice began to raise, her eyes locking with Starlight’s. “We were all heartbroken. I can’t even imagine the pain, but... Come on, Starlight,” she pleaded, turning to her husband. “Starburst and I think it’s time you started working on spells again, and-”
“Oh, yeah, it was so hard for you when my child died. Talk about how heartbroken you must’ve been.”
She raised her hands, backing up. “I didn’t mean it like that-”
Starlight went into her face, placing a hand in her hoodie pocket. “Just remember, what did you do when my child died, huh? Remember when you didn’t talk to me for a month when I needed you?” Her voice was cracking, her eyes tearing up. “Remember how you’ve been trying to make it up for years now because you know what you did was wrong?”
Twilight looked down, a sour look on her face. She shifted her legs, avoiding the fiery glare her friend continued to cast upon her. Within a few seconds, Starlight backed up, placing a hand on her forehead.
“I didn’t know how to handle it, or what to do…” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Whatever,” Starlight spat, massaging her temples. “Get out of my house. I don’t need this.”
“Star-” Sunburst walked over to Twilight, resting his hand on her shoulder. Twilight opened her mouth to say more, before her ears fell back, a frown resting on her lips. “Come to the castle if you need to talk.”
“Yeah.” Starlight stared at the blank television while Sunburst escorted his wife out, shooting obvious daggers at her while Twilight covered her crying eyes. Starlight buried her face in her hands, letting her ears perk up to the sound of a closing door before falling against her head in the familiar silence.
She pushed her nails into the skin of her cheeks, feeling the hotness grow. She pushed harder, on the verge of piercing her skin. The pain stung, pushing her headache further, her snout twitching. Her horn ached to magic away her fingers, but she pressed further. Blood dripped onto her fingers. But she felt nothing.
There was a knocking on the door. Growling, Starlight picked herself up from the couch, her glower deepening as she threw open the door. “What, Twilight? You want to cut off all the money, now?”
Spike tilted his head. “Um, is this a bad time?”
“Spi-”
His eyes suddenly flashed with concern. “Starlight, you’re bleeding! Let me help.” He quickly rushed to her side, guiding her back into the house. Starlight furrowed her brows.
“What? Spike, what are you-” She found herself in the bathroom, the sink running as Spike rummaged through her medicine cabinet. He pulled out a box of bandaids, setting to the side while he wiped the blood off her face with a wet tissue. Starlight blinked, considering her options, her hangover clouding her thoughts. Before she could respond, the bandaid rested on her cheek, a sheepish Spike rubbing the back of his neck with his claws.
“Oops, probably should’ve been more, uh, polite…” he chuckled, “it’s just my nurse instincts.”
“Uh… okay?”
Spike blushed, offering a small grin. “Do you mind if I come in, then?”
Starlight paused, placing her hands on her hips. “Sure. Take a seat in the living room. I’ll… get us some water, I guess.” Spike nodded, following her out of the bathroom. He wandered into the other room while she stumbled into the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a sigh.
“First Twilight, now him… what makes her think he’s gonna help with anything?” she muttered, closing her eyes while placing a hand on the tip of her muzzle. She stared at the sink, and turned the water on, watching it flow. Water, water, water.
Two mugs in her hands, she walked into the living room, setting a glass on the coffee table. Sitting next to Spike on the couch, she leaned back, taking a sip. Her tail twitched. Spike drew a breath.
“You’re probably wondering why I came over,” he started, sipping on his mug.
“No, I can already guess,” Starlight interjected, setting her mug down. “You’re here to tell me how important it is I get back to working on spells, how I need to move on, how it’s not healthy to be sleeping around or drinking so much. I’ve already ‘chatted’ with Twilight, I don’t need anything more.”
“You talked to Twilight?” he asked, furrowing his brows. “I thought you guys got in a really big fight a few nights ago. Twilight… she was crying.”
Starlight flinched, closing her eyes. “Well, liquor makes you call people. If you’re here to talk about any of that, don’t waste your time.” She crossed her legs.
“I’m not here for that.” Spike cleared his throat, staring at the ceiling. “This is going to come off… well, odd, but you’re my only friend that isn’t in a relationship and I can think of that would even listen to this.” Starlight winced again, closing her eyes. Worry found its way onto Spike’s face. “Are you sure this is a good time? Twilight told me she was coming over this morning, and if she did, I-I know how it can get...”
Starlight cocked her eyebrows. “We’re not here to talk about that, are we? I’m interested in your thing. Tell me about it.”
Spike sighed, rubbing the spines on his back. “Starlight, when Twilight hatched me, she… well, her magic caused me some issues. Most of them minor, but… well, one of the spells messed with my fertility.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“Just listen,” Spike continued. “There’d be some things to work out, and I know this is an odd thing, but it’s been eating me alive and I need to at least try to ask someone. You can say no. You can do whatever-”
“Get on with it,” Starlight grunted, leaning toward him. “Can’t be that bad.”
“I’m only going to have a month or so where I can… have a baby, before some weird magic happens inside me where I lose all of my… stuff.” He blushed slightly. “I’ve wanted to have a kid for years now, and I only have so much time to do it, and nobody’s going to have a kid with a dragon out of the blue. I don’t want to adopt, I want my own kid, and…”
He looked Starlight in the eyes.
“I need a mom for that kid.”
Author's Note
something quick I felt compelled to write
hope I continue it
