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               The Elements of Incompetence                
                     -by Tiernomuffin-                     
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                        Self-doubt                         
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Self-doubt
Sunburst, Flash Sentry, Moondancer, Quibble Pants, Lightning Dust and Limestone Pie were walking down the hall, heading towards the exit. Flash Sentry was ahead of the group, guiding them through the castle. Princess Celestia asked him to do this, as he was the only one of the six who, as a royal guard, patrolled the palace once every two or three months. So he kept his head up, marching like it was the Summer Sun Celebration Parade.
Lightning Dust didn't quite understand his behavior. "He was just chosen as one of Equestria's most incompetent ponies and is guiding the other five," she whispered at Moondancer's ear, "why does he look so proud?"
"Because I like to make a big deal out of small achievements so I don't feel inferior," Flash Sentry cut Moondancer before she could even talk.
"And you also like to give out unsolicited facts about yourself, I see."
"Revealing awkward secrets makes others feel less awkward around me. I like to come across as a friendly guy, somepony with whom you can be honest, you know."
"Rriiight..." Lightning Dust rolled her eyes. "So, what's the plan, Mr. Friendly Guy?"
"That's up to Sunburst."
Everypony turned to Sunburst, who was about four meters behind. He was abstracted, crestfallen, walking slowly.
"He is supposed to lead us? Boy, that guy is dead inside," said Lightning through a mocking chuckle.
"C'mon, you're underestimating him! He's not that dead once you get to know him. Uh–" Flash looked around, trying to find a way to convince his skeptical pals that Sunburst was, indeed, alive and a good guy. "Oh! Did I tell you about the time he saved the Crystal Empire?"
Moondancer's eyes widened from interest. "He did what?"
"What you heard! Here, I'll let him tell you the story. Hey, Sunman!" Flash Sentry waved his forehooves. "Hurry over there pal!"
Sunburst shot an annoyed glare at Flash. Under any other circumstances he would have walked away, but at that moment he had no other choice but to obey. He "hurried" to reach the group, and after a few minutes, he was in front of Flash Sentry. "What do you want?" he asked, irritated.
"We were wondering if you could tell us about the time you saved the Crystal Empire," replied Flash.
Sunburst sighed for the tenth time in the day. "You already know that story."
"But the others–"
Moondancer put a hoof on Flash's back. "Hey, it's okay if he doesn't want to tell. I really think we should be thinking of a plan, actually."
"Oh, right! Hey Sunburst, do you– I mean..." Flash Sentry bowed. "We are awaiting for orders, sire."
Doesn't he ever get tired of being the princess' pet? "I don't have any orders to give. And please don't do that," said Sunburst, tapping Flash's chin with his hoof to get him to stand straight.
But Flash didn't seem bothered by Sunburst's persistent poking. "But the princess personally picked you to be our leader! That puts you in a higher rank than any of the royal guards in this castle."
"Look, Flash Sentry. In any other situation I would have loved to see you bow before me, but right now it just makes me feel uncomfortable. So please stop."
"But–"
"'But Sunburst, you're our leader!' I'M NOT!" outbursted Sunburst. "Maybe you like this situation because, unlike me, you haven't let down everypony who ever had faith in you, but I'd rather be anywhere but here!"
Everypony stayed quiet, eyes open wide, none of them knew how to react to Sunburst's words.
After an awkward silence, Lightning Dust finally decide to open her mouth. "Woah. That's intense. Does anypony else want to share a heartfelt yet disturbing confession?"
"I stole some empty scrolls from the throne room," let out Quibble.
"..."
"I really think we should focus on coming up with a plan..." said Moondancer.
"Rrrgh– Fine!" grunted Sunburst. "Does somepony else want to be the leader? That's fine for me. It's better if I give up now and let one or two ponies down than if I play along this fake and get the same results."
"But isn't that the point? To fail, so others can succeed?" asked Flash Sentry, tilting his head.
"I'll fail in that too."
"Then you'd be succeeding," added Quibble.
"No! I'm trying to say I'm not–"
"Oh, WHO CARES?" shouted Moondancer, stomping her forelegs. She was already tired of trying to be the voice of reason. "The princess said it clearly: the whole point of this group is to distract Grogar. It can't be that hard!"
"Yes!" exclaimed Flash Sentry, shaking his wings. "Let's make that goat wizard think he does right by underestimating Equestria!"
"Actually, he's a ram necromancer. A male sheep specialized in the practice of black magic," clarified Moondancer.
Moondancer's knowledge of the character caught Sunburst's attention. "You know Grogar?" he asked, amazed.
"Of course, he's my favorite villain!"
"MINE TOO!" Sunburst moved his hooves up and down in excitement.
"Well, well, look at you!" Flash nudged Lightning Dust. "See? I told you he wasn't that dead."
"Pfft. Don't push it that far, Flash Sentry. I'm just excited there's one pony in this group who's worth meeting."
Moondancer blushed a bit. "Oh, come on. Everypony who's studied at Princess Celestia's school has read that book. Oh, I wish I could have finished the sequel..."
Sunburst's glasses slipped down his snout. "There's a sequel?"
"Oh, yes! Didn't you know? Well, I can't blame you, it's very rare. Gusty the Ghost. Only a few copies were printed because adults thought it was too 'violent' and 'inappropiate for foals'..." Moondancer pouted resentfully. "I could only read half of it before it was taken out of the school library! I'd do anything to finish it. I just find Grogar particularly..."
"Appealing?"
"Yes! His personality is such a good balance of charisma and villainy..."
"And his motivations? Who knew foals' literature could be so dark!"
The two unicorns' cheerful chat was interrupted by an impulsive comment from Quibble Pants. "Ha! If you think some sheep from a book for little foals is good that's because you haven't read a Daring Do book in your life."
"Shut up!" shouted Sunburst and Moondancer. They both started laughing, and Quibble Pants watched them with a frown.
Moondancer's laugh stopped as she suddenly realized something. "Hey... Princess Celestia said you studied at her school. You don't look much older than me, how come I never saw you?"
"Oh– W-well..." Sunburst stammered and adjusted his glasses. "That's kind of a long story. I–"
"Hey, that's a great idea!" said Flash Sentry. "We can tell stories to pass the time!"
The others didn't take Flash Sentry's suggestion very well. "No!" they replied in concert.
"Aww... Fine." Flash kept walking.
"Nothing personal, Flash." Moondancer followed him. "Let's just get out of here so we can move on to the next step on our mission."
Sunburst sighed in relief and followed his partners.
For the next minutes the six ponies kept walking through the castle. Flash Sentry guided the group, Lightning, Quibble and Limestone did their best to ignore each other, and Sunburst now walked along. Moondancer tried to reach him a few times to continue their chat, but he seemed to be too immersed in his thoughts to actually hear when she talked to him.
Sunburst didn't meet new ponies often. Not ones he would like to be friends with, at least. It stressed him out. Did he have to reveal every detail of his life to avoid coming across as a pony he wasn't? Would that be too weird? And if he didn't, would she find a certain fascination on his mysterious image? Sunburst shivered. It had been a long time since the last time he made a friend. Or, well, since the last time he made one without being pushed by the imminent destruction of a world. Then again, that was the case at that moment.
And as if the pressure of his social insecurities wasn't enough, meeting Moondancer had also made him doubt his decision to give up his leadership. Was it really the best choice? Sunburst didn't know what to do. Maybe Celestia was right. If the only purpose of the Elements of Incompetence is to fail, maybe I am suit for the job. But if we do succeed, would ponies see us as the heroes who made way for victory, or as the losers who thought they could do what nopony couldn't? Will it be dangerous? Oh, this situation gives me the heebie-jeebies. Running away sounds really tempting, but... Sunburst looked at Moondancer from the corner of his eye. Would she want to be his friend if he gave up?
Flash Sentry abruptly stopped, causing the rest of the ponies to bump into each other.
"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!" exclaimed Limestone, pushing Lightning Dust off her body.
"I, uh..."
"We're lost, aren't we?" Sunburst clapped his hooves. "Congratulations Flash Sentry, you got us all lost!"
"Actually we've been for a while now. I just thought I could put us back on track, but..." he looked around, "I don't think I've seen this part of the castle before."
"So much for Flash Perfect Sentry."
"Wait..." Moondancer walked up to Flash Sentry. "I know this place!"
Sunburst smiled. "You do?"
"Yes! This hall... it leads to the Secret Canterlot Library! My class came here once for a field trip!"
"A SECRET LIBRARY?!" Sunburst's eyes sparkled.
Quibble Pants was skeptical. "So you came to a secret library... on a field trip."
"Ye-yeah, I..." Moondancer chuckled nervously, "I kinda... took an alternative route."
"Hey, I got an idea! Maybe we can do some studying in there! I bet we can find that book you both love."
"Or even the sequel...! Good thought, Flash!"
"Uh, I'm not sure." Sunburst picked some spider web from the door. "This looks... neglected."
"Nopony comes here. It's supposed to be guarded, but the princess sent most of her guards to take the ponies from Canterlot to safety."
"Huh, curious..." Sunburst took a closer look at the door. "It's different from any door lock I've seen before. I dare to think this one was requested specifically for this room. Whatever's inside, Princess Celestia wants it well guarded."
"Or maybe she doesn't want little fillies putting their muddy little hooves all over her precious books," said Limestone Pie as she laid down.
Flash Sentry got closer to Sunburst. "I didn't know you knew about locks."
"Huh, I like to research interesting topics." He adjusted his glasses. "It's a complex one, but a medium-level unicorn could easily open it. I suggest–"
"–Lock Liberty!" Moondancer pushed Flash Sentry away to stand next to Sunburst.
"Exactly!"
Moondancer and Sunburst looked at each other, their muzzles both lit up by big grins. They remained like that, silent, while everypony else stood expectant, waiting for the door to be opened.
"Uh..." Moondancer shook her head and gestured at the lock. "Aren't you going to open it?"
"Oh. R-right, I... I'll just..." Sunburst's voice trembled, he lit his horn. "Back up! I'll... do the thing, with lots of... concentration, agility and... overall magic ability."
Moondancer watched rapt, but her expression changed as she noticed Sunburst's discomfort. "Is everything okay?" she asked.
"Y-yes! Of course, I-I-I..." Sunburst gulped. "I was just thinking... You're obviously much more qualified for this. Please, do the honor." He bowed and got out of the way.
Moondancer giggled, flattered. "You think?"
"I insist!"
"Fine." She took a few steps back. Strings of magic came out of her horn and into the lock, and she moved it from side to side until... CLICK! The door was finally open. "Haha!"
"See? You did it much better than I would have!"
"Oh, come on!" Moondancer gave Sunburst a friendly punch. "I bet we can both do spells twice as complicated. Easy."
"Haha, yeah!" he fidgeted with his cloak and looked down. "Easy..."
"Well, what are we waiting for?!" Moondancer entered the library, then Flash Sentry, then the rest of the group.
Except for Sunburst. He waited until they were all inside, always keeping an awkward smile. "I think I'll stay here to... contemplate the architecture of this hall," he said as he closed the door. Then he let out a deep, long held sigh.
Meanwhile, inside the Secret Canterlot Library, Moondancer couldn't contain her excitement. Flash Sentry, knowing what was about to happen, covered his ears, and told Quibble, Limestone and Lightning to do the same. They, of course, didn't listen, and were victims of Moondancer's high-pitched squealing.
"Oh, great... That-that crushed my... brain..." Quibble wobbled around and hit a bookshelf, causing a few books to fall over Limestone Pie.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Limestone piled some books and kicked Quibble's pants with them.
"HAHA! Get him, baby!" cheered Lightning Dust.
"STAY OUT!" she threw more books towards Lightning.
"Hey– No! Stop!" Moondancer, already out of patience, blasted a powerful magic beam. "STOP!" Lightning, Quibble and Limestone stopped fighting, but their conflict shortly resumed before Moondancer could say, "darn it."
"Well, that... Didn't work. But it was impressive!"
"Thank you, Flash." Moondancer panted. "What's wrong with them, why won't they stop fighting!"
"They totally used to date," he said, analyzing the behavior of the three "friends".
"We really need a leader."
"You know, I could be the leader, but Sunburst wouldn't like that."
"Yeah, I wouldn't like that either."
"Huh. Thanks."
"No! I-I mean... We should not disobey the princess. We gotta do this mission by the book."
"You're right but... How are we gonna convince Sunburst to be the leader?"
Moondancer sighed. "I don't know. He seems like such a nice guy, I can't believe he did all of this."
"Yeah, me neither. He's usually pretty weak and coward."
"Hey now, Mr. Perfect, I wanna see you saving an entire empire if you're such a capable individual."
"SUNBURST!" Flash Sentry stuttered, "Whe-when did you..."
"Some minutes ago." Sunburst sat down next to Moondancer and looked at the others. "Uh, are they alright?"
"Oh, don't pay attention to them," replied Moondancer. "Hey, now that you're here we can start searching for the book!"
"Uh, right! Let's go deep into this huge..."
"...beautiful..."
"...so full of stories..."
"...and of knowledge..."
"...library..."
Moondancer and Sunburst looked at each other for a second and then joined their voices in one long squeal, potent enough to stop the others' fight.
And so, the elements of incompetence started searching for the book. And before they could notice, seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours, day into night. One by one they decided that it was better to take a break: first Lightning Dust, then Quibble Pants, then Limestone Pie. Flash Sentry tried to convince Moondancer to go to sleep, but she didn't listen. She was too focused in her search. In the end, she was the last pony to stay awake.
Moondancer grabbed a book from the shelf, read the the title, then put it in the big heap of books that laid by her side. Many of them had caught her attention, but she wasn't going to stop to learn a new spell or to read about Mage Meadowbrook's rumored ninth artifact. If she kept doing her work, she'd have time to read later. If she stopped, she would never read a book again in her life. Her priorities were established.
She threw another book away, and this time it wasn't followed by the almost imperceptible sound of its cover meeting the pile but by a loud, whiny yelp. A recognisable yelp, as she had heard it a few times the last hours. "Sunburst?"
Sunburst's head peeked from behind the book pile. "Yes?"
"Oh, did I wake you up?" Moondancer levitated the book from Sunburst's head and put it on the pile. "Sorry," she said, smiling sheepishly.
"Don't worry, I wasn't sleeping." He walked towards Moondancer and sat next to her. "Have you found anything interesting?"
"Hm?" She looked at the books. "Oh, I haven't read any of them. I just want to find Gusty the Ghost soon so we can finish this whole affair."
"Really?" Sunburst grabbed a book and used his cloak to clean its cover. "'Mystical Mysteries and Marvelous Minds of Magic IV'..." he opened it and went straight to the index. "Fascinating! I have read every book in the Canterlot library once or twice, but I don't remember ever reading about any of the spells included here!"
"Ha! As if that was possible!" said Moondancer, skeptical.
"It is possible!"
"Really? I haven't even read half of the books in the Canterlot Library and you expect me to believe that not only have you read all of them, but you also memorized the spells inside them?"
Sunburst looked at her scowling, magic wasn't something to kid about. "Do you think I would lie about something like this?" He stood up and inspected the books from the heap. He picked a rather outdated version of a spell compilation he had studied before and, after taking a brief look at the index, he handed it to Moondancer. "Here, ask anything."
Moondancer arched an eyebrow, opened the book in a random page and read, "Rockhoof's Robbery".
"Page 78," Sunburst replied confidently.
Moondancer blinked twice, incredulous. He's correct! "Fine, that was an easy one. How about..." she looked through the pages, "Spacium Flexibus?"
"Page 154."
"Wooly Wonder?"
"43."
"Honey Homage?"
"Nice try, you made that one up!"
Giggle, giggle, snort. "I can't believe it! NOW I know why I never saw you at magic school!"
Sunburst's glasses slipped. "Y-you do?"
"Of course! There's no doubt a brilliant unicorn like you would surpass the rest of the students! The princess let you graduate before everypony else, didn't she?"
"She let... Uh." Sunburst couldn't help a soft chuckle from escaping his lips. What an assumption! What a precipitated, far-fetched, ridiculous assumption!
"I'm wrong?"
"Oh, you have no idea..." Sunburst took his glasses off and cleaned them.
Moondancer was confused. For a moment, she thought she saw tears in Sunburst's eyes. Tears of joy, maybe? Nostalgia? Worried, she couldn't say anything other than the obvious question, "Are you alright?"
Sunburst looked at the empty bookshelves in front of him. "It's surprising how you could search through all these books without getting distracted, I would have forgotten my objective at the first interesting read. Such an ability to focus is characteristic of a high-level unicorn. I wouldn't say you're as powerful as Twilight Sparkle, but maybe... medium high?"
"Yes?" Is he trying to change the topic?
Sunburst looked down, grinning. "My level is... basic to medium."
"You've got to be kidding."
"I wish I was..." he put his glasses back on. "You're kinda right. I left magic school before I should have, but not because I was better than anypony else. I left because I couldn't keep up. I can memorize any spell within a few seconds, but when it comes to casting..." he sighed. "I dropped out."
"Su-Sunburst, I didn't know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just assumed that..." Moondancer hid her face in her sweater in shame.
"Hey now, it's okay, don't worry!" Sunburst held Moondancer's chin with his hoof and smiled at her in an attempt to comfort her. "It doesn't matter, I'm learning to get over that. After all, it's not my biggest mistake, is it?"
Moondancer fiddled with her hooves. "I just thought..."
"Yeah, I tend to give that impression for some reason," he joked, holding up a part of his cloak and accidentally revealing his cutie mark to Moondancer.
Moondancer looked at Sunburst's cutie mark. That cutie mark, it's the kind of symbol one would expect from a unicorn talented at magic. But if that's not his special talent... Wait a minute. "It's... impressive!" She jumped up and ran towards a blackboard, picked up the chalk and started scribbling.
Sunburst followed Moondancer, curious at her sudden change of behavior. "What's impressive?"
"You know, a pony's magic is not unlimited, not even that of a unicorn."
He followed the chalk with his eyes. "Yes, and...?"
"Well, it's restringed to the individual's especial talent. Thus, a unicorn talented in carpentery will know how to use a few spells related to it, like making small seeds grow fast or shaping branches into funny forms. Even when a unicorn's talent is magic, the possibilities aren't limitless! A balance is needed..." she drew two circles overlapping each other, one with the word "Theory" inside it, and the other "Practice", "...between both the study AND the practice of magic. But YOU" – she drew a sort of sloppy version of Sunburst inside the first circle – "can learn any spell you want in detail! You are talented in the study of magic theory, and as a result..."
Sunburst walked closer to the board. "...I'm untalented in the practice of it...!"
"You're as talented as a full-grown unicorn with no special talent!" complemented Moondancer enthusiastically. "Uh, no offense."
Sunburst giggled. "Not taken. Moondancer, this is brilliant! I would have never thought about it like this, I was too busy thinking..."
"...that there was something wrong with you?"
"Exactly!"
Moondancer looked down at her hooves, smilling. "I know what it's like. But, you know... Even if you didn't have some cool ability to 'pay up' for that... there's nothing wrong with you. I think you're perfect."
Sunburst felt his heart skip a beat.
"Uh–" Moondancer scratched the back of her head. "That's a weird thing to say to a pony you just met, isn't it?"
"Kinda," replied Sunburst.
Once again, silence took over the two unicorn's conversation. Their eyes met for a moment, but they quickly looked away. Staring at ponies' eyes was hard.
"Uh, sorry," said Moondancer, walking away. "I need to keep working. No time to rest!"
"Oh, right..." Sunburst snickered. "I destroyed Equestria. I forgot."
Moondancer levitated one more book and read the title. And again. And again. She stared absent-mindedly at the cover, thinking about anything but the mission.
Sunburst noticed that something was plaguing her mind, and so he asked, "Uh... Moondancer, I, uh... When you said you knew what it's like to feel like there's something wrong with you... What did you mean?"
"I'm... not sure I wanna talk about that," she replied, placing the book in the heap.
Sunburst rised an eyebrow. "You mentioned it, that means you wanna talk about it."
Moondancer grinned, defeated. "Okay, you got me."
Sunburst sat down and leaned back over the pile of books, smiling triumphant. "I knew it." He patted the floor, telling Moondancer to sit beside him.
Moondancer obeyed. "Okay," she said, and inspired deeply.
"Ever since I was a child, I always felt... weird. Like, you know, the usual kind of weird."
"The school outcast kind."
"Yes! So, the first years of school I was just fine, but as time went by, yes, I turned into an outcast. I just thought there was something wrong with me because I would rather stay home reading than going out and make friends... Also, it didn't help that the foals at magic school can be... cruel.
"But I did have a group of friends who were nice to me, and there was one pony that I really wanted to be friends with..." Moondancer looked at the ceiling, as if she could see her memories up there. "But that didn't go so well. I ended up getting convinced that nopony would ever want to be my friend."
"I'D LOVE TO BE YOUR FRIEND!" exclaimed Sunburst. "Uh, ah, I mean–"
Moondancer smiled. "Me too."
A sudden movement from the book pile took Sunburst by surprise. He jumped up and into Moondancer's forelegs, and both friends watched atemorized as a pony emerged from within the books.
"W-who is that?" asked Sunburst, holding Moondancer's neck tight.
But the answer to his question went clear under Moondancer's magic's light, and it was quite anticlimactic. Lightning Dust, who apparently was sleeping under all the books, walked towards Moondancer and Sunburst, clearly annoyed. "Could Romeo and Juliet please shut up and let me sleep?"

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                       Annoyingness                        
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Annoyingness
Another beautiful day began in the capital of Equestria. "What a perfect day for suffering!" sang the few ponies who were still at the city as they came out of their houses, the first musical number in a few days was then starting. Even in the middle of the biggest catastrophe Equestria had ever faced, they refused to leave their home. The flame of hope, now reduced to embers, still shone a powerful light inside their hearts. It was the fourth day since the villains were freed from Tartarus, despair was in the air.
Grogar watched Canterlot from a nearby hill. He took a deep breath from the despair-filled air. Soon, these pitiful ponies will find out their hope is nothing but a foolish foal fantasy, and I, Grogar, the ram necromancer, will be able to taste the biggest fear feast this wasteland would witness! Hey, that was a great alliteration. I should write it down.
"And you locked yourself in your house to study? That's crazy! Me too!" Sunburst rose both of his forelegs and wrapped Moondancer in an excited hug.
Moondancer could barely talk, her cheeks pressed against Sunburst's hooves. "Yeah, haha..." she chuckled nervously, uncomfortable at the sudden invasion to her personal space.
Sunburst eventually noticed Moondancer's discomfort. "Oh. Sorry," he said, letting go of Moondancer with a sheepish smile.
"I mean, we do have a lot in common, it's–"
A beam of sunshine hit Moondancer in the eyes and cut her off in the middle of her sentence. "Wait..." she got up and walked towards a window. She removed the curtains, and what was behind them shocked her: It was the sun, shining bright over the city of Canterlot, and what was left of its population, moving along what seemed to be... "A flash mob? That can't be. Massive musical numbers are forebidden before 8 in the morning."
"Well, I mean, when society is falling apart it's usual for ponies to give in to anarchy," said Sunburst, walking towards the window, "but judging by the sun's position and general brightness, I'd say it's definitely later than that."
Moondancer's ears dropped back. "Oh, okay." She took a deep breath and sat down.
"Uh, Moondancer? Are you–"
Moondancer shouted her lungs out, "EVERYPONY WAKE UP!"
The room shook, books fell from the shelves, Sunburst's heart nearly jumped out of his chest.
"Sorry," Moondancer said upon seeing Sunburst's startlement.
"It's..." Sunburst breathed heavily, "it's okay. Gee, Moondancer! That's the loudest scream I've ever heard! Be gentle or you might need to replace me as the leader," he joked.
Flash Sentry appeared from behind a bookshelf, rubbing his eyes with his wings. "What was that horrible sound? I was dreaming about Princess Tw– Wait. Did Sunburst just say he's going to be the leader?"
"Yup!" replied Sunburst with a smile. "Moondancer and I had a short talk and it made me realize that–"
"Wait," Flash Sentry cut off. "We can't have an inspirational speech until we're all here." He looked around. "Where are the others?"
"INCOMIIIING!" Lightning Dust flew through the room and crashed against a book shelf. "Dang it, girl, you're strong! But how 'bout you throw me into something a little softer next time?"
Limestone Pie dashed after her, her eyes flaming red from anger.
"What happened now?" Flash said to Quibble Pants, who had just joined the group.
Quibble replied with a shrug.
"Well, now that we're all here..." Moondancer dragged Lightning and Limestone with her magic.
"Like I was saying..." Sunburst cleared his throat. "I've come to realize that... I can be messy, I don't organize my books on a certain order, and yeah, sometimes I wake up cursing the day I was born. All my life plans were a complete failure, I have no leadership skills or any skills whatsoever..."
Flash Sentry leaned forwards. "But...?"
"Oh, there are no buts. I have no idea why the princess would choose me to be the leader and I'm sure we're gonna be dead by the end of this day. We might just play along, and well, I wanna fix my mistakes. So, uh, does anypony have a plan?"
Lightning Dust raised her hoof.
"Yes, Lightning Dust?"
"Quibble is smirking."
Sunburst arched an eyebrow. "Quibble Pants, is that true?"
The pony in question chuckled and glared at Sunburst. He was, indeed, smirking. It was evident that he knew something, something the others didn't know. And he was going to brag, oh, he would brag like he had never bragged before. "Oh, sorry, Mr. President, I just couldn't help but notice that you are as blind as a bat."
Sunburst tilted his head in confusion. "Would you mind to explain why?"
"Oh, nothing." Quibble walked around the group. "You know, as the adventure book conoisseur I am, I have quite the IQ. I'd be glad to enlight you, but you see, my wisdom has a price."
He stopped and turned to Sunburst. "MAKE THEM APOLOGIZE!" he demanded, pointing his hoof to Lightning Dust and Limestone Pie.
"I don't understand," said Sunburst, still tilting his head.
"They know what they did, make them apologize!"
Lightning folded her forehooves. "Over my dead body!"
"Quibble, this is ridiculous," said Moondancer. "Look, I don't want to be here either, but–"
"Keep your kind words to yourself, unicorn," interrupted Limestone as she leaned her body over a chair she made out of books. "It's impossible to argue with him. Besides, he's most likely lying," she acussed.
"Oh, I'm not lying! I know more than what you'll ever know!" spat Quibble. Then he proceeded to take a book out of a shelf. "See this?"
Flash Sentry gasped. "A book!" he exclaimed in genuine wonder.
"It sure is," said Quibble, tittering at Flash's response to a clearly rhetorical question. "And see–" He walked a few meters away and grabbed a book from another shelf, "–this?"
"No!" replied Flash.
Quibble Pants returned to the group with the book in his mouth. "Ish dee shame boog!"
Moondancer levitated the book out of Quibble's muzzle and cleaned it in Flash Sentry's feathers. "What?"
"It's the same book! Don't you see? This library has many copies of the same books!"
"Yeah, that's..." Sunburst scratched the back of his head, "that's usual in libraries."
"Ohoho. Pshh. Not like this, my friend. You see..." Quibble Pants resumed his walk around the ponies, "During my quest to find something readable in this freaky book storage, I noticed something about this place was... odd."
The rest of the group let out a collective gasp.
"W-what is it?" stuttered Flash Sentry, embracing Moondancer in fear.
"THERE ARE NO NOVELS IN HERE! Like seriously, hundreds of books and there's not even one Daring Do novel? That's weird."
"Oh, wow, tragedy!" Sunburst frowned. "Well. Does somepony else have useful information?"
"Hey, let me talk! Geez, what's with the quick judgement?"
Sunburst groaned. "Fine, go on."
"Like I was saying... I looked all over the D section of the library and there were no Daring Do books. So, after a few more minutes of searching, I found another D, and guess what? No Daring Do either!"
"Wait. Did you say there's another D section?" inquired Moondancer.
"That's right! It turns out this whole library has four sections, all organized in alphabetical order. After Z, another A comes, then B, C, X, Y, Z, A again! And what's weirder, they all have the same books, in the exact same order! We aren't going to find anything in here, it's all boring magic and history books. I know, I checked."
"Hm, I can't believe I didn't see that." Moondancer adjusted her glasses. "That's quite useful. Good work, Quibble Pants!"
"Ha. Being so passionate about a book does have its benefits, it seems," said Flash Sentry.
Quibble flicked his ears and a wide smile appeared in his lips, more sincere than smug. "Why, thank you. I've gotten a few observation and puzzle-solving skills from it, actually. And I'll be more than glad to share them with you."
Flash and Moondancer stared at him, waiting for something that completed the phrase – a condition, a reference, even an insult to A.K. Yearling's latest book. Nothing happened.
"What, you don't believe me?"
"So-sorry. I just–"
Moondancer was cut off as Flash Sentry suddenly burst out in laughter. Quibble and Moondancer looked at each other, and without thinking twice, they started to laugh too.
But Moondancer's laughter stopped when she turned her head to look at the rest of the group. There, behind her, was Sunburst. He was laying down on the floor and one of his forehooves was covering his face.
She walked closer to him, worried. "Are you okay?" she asked to her friend.
Sunburst's head jumped up as Moondancer's words got him out of his trance. "Uh– I–" he looked around, shook his head and put his eyes over Moondancer. It took him a few seconds to understand her question before he replied with a slow, silent nod. Then he looked away and glanced at Moondancer. Her face told him she didn't buy it.
"You're freaking out."
"I– I, ah... Kinda?" Sunburst shook his head once again, trying to free himself from his thoughts. His stress finally manifested in the form of a soft chuckle. "We've been wasting our time... That's fine. Fine! Can, uh, can somepony come up with a plan?" Sunburst rubbed his eyes. He was having a hard time trying to concentrate. "That's... an order and such."
Moondancer smiled, she knew what was going on. She levitated Sunburst and put him in Flash Sentry's back. Before Flash could say anything, she covered his mouth with her hoof. "Shh. Just, uh, take him somewhere nice where he can sleep," she said.
Sunburst frowned. "But why."
"No, no, I don't want to hear anything from you. Go to sleep, young unicorn." She gave Sunburst a soft, motherly kiss in the forehead. "You need it."
"Hmm, yeah, that..." Sunburst settled in Flash Sentry's back and tucked himself with his wings. "That sounds nice."
Yeah, that sounded nice. Maybe Sunburst could get a good amount of sleep then, not just a few minutes before a dream about himself freeing a bunch of baddies woke him up. Now he could go back to his usual nightmares, about Flash Sentry or magic school or Starl...
Flash stayed in the room until he was sure Sunburst had fallen asleep. It wasn't the first time he had to carry him on his back, nor the first time he saw him sleeping in the cold floor of a library, but usually those two things happened the other way around.
He came back to the others and found Moondancer and Quibble Pants in the middle of a conversation.
"Maybe, but I still like–" Moondancer's gaze deviated from Quibble and she noticed Flash Sentry standing behind him. "Flash! Is he asleep?" she asked.
"Like a log."
"Good. Our leader needs to be well rested, right?" she said to Quibble.
"Well, that's one less thing to worry about. But I'm calling it now: Sunburst can't be our leader."
"Uh, why?"
"Are you forgetting that he caused all of this? I don't trust him."
"Oh, come on! He's sorry, he wants to fix this, that's what matters. Uh–" she turned her head to Flash Sentry. "Flash, you know him. He's nice, right?"
"Totally!" replied Flash. "One time he even–"
"Oh, I thought you were sharper, Sentry. Really? Did you forget he tried to blame you for this?"
Flash sighed. "Yeah, he... he can be mean to me, sometimes."
Moondancer scratched the back of her head, her sweater was making her neck itch. "Well, I still trust him."
"Ha! When you've read – and lived – what I have..." Quibble glared at Lightning Dust and Limestone Pie, narrowing his eyes, "...you learn that you can't always trust everypony.
"Ahem! Anyways, let's not talk about that. We've got stuff to do and I'm actually excited to be a part of this. Oh! Maybe I could write fanfiction based on this..."
Lightning Dust chuckled. "Nopony would read that."
"Oh, we'll see. I know ponies in my daringfiction group who'd be interested."
JINGLE-JANGLE!
"I'm not sure I can keep going."
JINGLE-JANGLE!
"Well, I am sure."
JINGLE-JANGLE!  
"Sure of what?"
CRACKLE!
"I'm sure you can't. You're a loser."
The dream ended there. It always did.
Sunburst woke up relieved, even smiling. That dream, the one about the day he left magic school, was one of his most frequent nightmares. He used to have it every night, but after helping save the Crystal Empire, it lowered to once or twice a week. Did the princess really call him "loser"? Sunburst couldn't remember. She probably did.
He got up and...  
Wait a minute. What's that?
CRACKLE!  
CRACKLE!  
RUMBLE!
JINGLE-JANGLE!
A piece of the wall flew in Sunburst's direction and smashed him against a book shelf. He removed it with his magic and coughed a few times. "Oh, diggity darnit," he "cursed" under his breath and tried to get up, only to catch sight of a backlit silhouette standing in front of him and, startled, drop to the floor.
JINGLE-JANGLE!
"Why, hello there. Sunburst, right? I apologize, for I believe our first encounter was a tad..." the ram approached him and offered his help, putting his hoof in front of Sunburst's muzzle, "...troubled."
Sunburst could barely talk. "G-G..."
"Grogar," he finished. "From Ponyville. Remember?"
How could I forget? Sunburst thought as he attempted to reach his back with one hoof. It still hurt from the time Grogar threw him through the crystal walls of the Ponyville castle. He hit Grogar's hoof away.
"Ouch," Grogar said, snickering. "You're right. I think they call it Damagesparkian Empire now, although a better name would be..." – Grogar's eyes glowed red – "Shambles."
Gulp. Sunburst was paralized. He knew he had to do something, or at least say something, but he was petrified by fear... Or by cowardice?
"What, you can't talk? Huh. I thought Princess Celestia would at least teach good manners to her students. But oh, right, I forgot. You didn't graduate."
And that was the final straw. How dare he says something completely true? How did he know, anyway? Sunburst didn't care. He grunted, ready to do something he would later regret. But when he stood up, Grogar had already turned around.
"Although I understand why Celestia would send you to beat me," Grogar said. "She's always had that foolish faith in her subjects...
"The power to learn anything you want, at the cost of your own magical abilities. I pity you. Nevertheless, I'm surprised. I would have given up already. Know your limits, Sunburst. You can't defeat me. What a useless talent..." Grogar shot one last glance at Sunburst. "Actually... I think it couldbe useful."
One jingle-jangle from the bells in his neck and Grogar was gone. Sunburst, trying not to think about the things he had said to him, turned around and started organizing the books that fell when he got potato-mashed against the shelf.
I pity you.
Sunburst shunned his thoughts and faced the wall. He could fix the mess, but the massive ram-shaped hole in the wall? No way. Unless...
For a moment, Sunburst thought he could do it. So he levitated the debris, put it in the wall... ZAP!
His horn caught fire.
Of course. A reparation spell was just a slightly more complex transfiguration spell. And he could barely do those.
Know your limits, Sunburst.
Sunburst went back to where he thought the rest of the group would be, but there was no one to be seen. At first he didn't worry, maybe they had moved to another place in the library so they wouldn't disturb him. He seeked throughout the library, he didn't find them. Were they trying to play a prank on him? Again. Nothing. Sunburst started to freak out.
Maybe they got an emergency message from the princess and had to go back to the castle. Or maybe they thought I won't be a good leader and decided to move on without me. Or maybe Grogar caught them!
That Grogar. Sunburst liked him much more when he was the villain in a book for foals, that was for sure. He was much more charismatic then.
Sunburst sat down, he was feeling a little dizzy.
You can't defeat me. What a useless talent...
Try as he might, Sunburst couldn't get Grogar's words out of his mind. "That Grogar!" he said to himself. "My talent isn't useless. I can do tons of stuff..."
Silence.
"...inside my brain." Sunburst sighed. Grogar was right. He was useless on his own. He could never defeat Grogar...
Or could he?
Moondancer stumbled and nearly dropped the cake she was carrying with her magic. Luckily, Lightning Dust flew to the rescue.
"Careful, nerd!" she said to Moondancer, scowling.
"Oh, sorry for carrying the cake YOU wanted to steal!" Moondancer levitated a handkerchief and used it to wipe the sweat in her forehead. "Ooh, I can't believe we're doing this. Are you sure the princess won't find out?"
"She's the princess, she would manage to get a cake in the middle of the apocalypse if she wanted!"
"We are we going to take orders from an evil selfish unicorn and you are worried about cake?"
Moondancer facehoofed. "Ugh, come on Quibble! Sunburst is not evil!"
"You know, it's funny that you assumed I was talking about Sunburst when I never said his name."
A few sparkles flew out of Moondancer's horn. "Look," she said, "if you knew about all he's been through you'd see that he's more than willing to be the best leader he can be." She opened the door of the library and entered, followed by the others. "He'll act different once he wakes up, you'll see."
BANG! The door was slammed behind the five ponies. They turned around and were mildly surprised by what they saw.
"Sunburst, you woke up!" Moondancer smiled. "I was just telling– W-wait. Why is your head on fire?" she asked as she cast a spell to extinguish the flame.
"And why do you look like you were potato-mashed against a wall?" added Flash.
"That doesn't matter. Where were you? I was worried!"
"Aww, that's so sweet!" Quibble clapped slowly. "Ladies and gentlecolts, the leader of the elements of incompetence!"
"Leave the snarky comments to me, Quibble Pants."
"Sorry, Sunburst. We were coming up with a plan, but Lightning Dust snook out of the library without permission and went to the castle cook, we chased her and, well..." Moondancher snatched the cake from Lightning's hooves and showed it to Sunburst. "We noticed that we haven't eaten anything so... cake?"
Sunburst groaned. "Now is not the time for cake!" he yelled, dropping the cake from Moondancer's hooves.
"Looks like somepony got anger from hunger! Luckily, we brought muffins too!" Flash Sentry rose two paper bags full of muffins.
Sunburst licked his lips. "I love muffins... I-I mean–" he sighed. "Fine. Let's eat and then you can tell me about than plan you were cooking up– err, coming up with."
Flash Sentry flew towards a table and put the muffins over it. The ponies sat down and began their so-needed meal, and for the time it lasted, nopony said a word.
Once they were finished – and Lightning had made sure there were no leftovers of the cake on the floor – Sunburst pulled his chair backwards, producing a loud, noisy creak.
"Well, that was very nice," he said as he got up of his chair, "now can we please get going?"
"Sure!" replied Moondancer.
...
"Oh, right–" she chuckled. "The plan. Well, while you were sleeping we were talking about how we've been wasting our time in the only plan we had, and I realized that we didn't really have to give up on it. We just need to seek somewhere we can be sure we'll find the book or at least some useful information, and I just happen to have full access to Commander Duskhorn's former home and personal library." Moondancer pulled a key out of her sweater. "I know Duskhorn liked Gusty the Great as much as we do. If there's a pony in Canterlot who owns the sequel, it's her."
Sunburst eyes sparkled, but he supressed his wonder and kept a plain face. "Good thought, Moondancer. And then...?"
"Well, we haven't come up with anything beyond that. I just thought that we could make something up as we go along." She shrugged.
"Make something up as we go along?Huh. I'm surprised," he said. "I didn't think you were that unconcerned, Moondancer."
"Yeah, well, I just realized that maybe I was worrying too much. This is a team effort after all, and I mean, there's plenty of room for failure, right? I think our plan will do for now."
"Not if we want to defeat Grogar," grumbled Sunburst.
"Wait. What did you say?"
"I said your plan is not what we need."
"W-well, surely it needs some–"
"Now look who's talking!" interrupted Quibble. "The pony who hasn't done anything at all. Seems like you have something in mind, don't you, leader?"
"I actually do, Quibble Pants. So if you could please let me talk..."
"Go on."
"Fine." Sunburst stood in front of the others, trying to give off a solemn look. "You see, the princess brought us together because she saw that we're a bunch of incompetent ponies, and so far you've only proved her right. So I want to give you a chance to show that we're more than that."
Quibble rolled his eyes. "So...?"
"So we're going to defeat Grogar."
Gasp!
"Defeat Grogar?" Moondancer used her hanky to wipe her sweat again. "Sunburst, I-I'm not questioning you choice but... are you sure?"
"I'm everything but sure! But I talked with Grogar. He's–"
The sole mention of Grogar's name made Flash jump out of his skin. "G-G-GROGAR WAS HERE?"
"Oh, didn't I tell you? Yes, he came by, you know, to say hi and attack me a little bit."
"Oh my. Are you ok?" asked Moondancer.
"It hurts a lot, thank you very much."
Lightning Dust whispered at Limestone's ear, "Does he mean emotionally or...?"
One kick from Limestone and Lightning flew off.
Sunburst sighed, fed up. "Whatever. Let's go on with that plan of yours."
After a few twists and turns, the elements managed to leave the castle. Finally outside, they watched in terror as the once beautiful city decayed in front of their eyes. The ram-shaped holes in the walls of the buildings suggested that Grogar had bursted into every house in Canterlot, feeding off of everyone's fear. The few ponies who remained in Canterlot had noticed his presence. They were fleeing. It wasn't a ghost town, no. Calling it a "ghost town" would be being too generous. It was a corpse town, with worms coming out of its eyes and flies flying everywhere. Anywhere you looked it seemed like all hope was lost.
And that only made Sunburst feel worse. Even after four days, he hadn't had the chance to take a scenic route through his mistakes. Guilt hit him death in the face. All the thinking about life and stuff, about how his foolish idea would affect thousands, if not millions of ponies, about how maybe he was just overreacting and Starlight or Flash Sentry or even Princess Celestia would show up and fix everything... It was all wrong. It was in that moment that he saw what he truly had caused.
But he still had time to redeem himself. He had a second chance to show Equestria what he could do, not as a superhero but as a real pony with real flaws and–
Quibbled plugged Sunburst's mouth with his hoof. "Shut up, drama dude. We're here."
Sunburst's face turned so red you could easily mistake him with one of Quibble Pants' original characters. "D-did I really...?"
"Yup."
"Do you always narrate everything you do?" asked Lightning Dust.
"Uh, no, not me. But sometimes a little demon inside my head does."
Beat.
Moondancer walked towards the door. "Stay out everypony!" she warned.
Flash Sentry got worried. "Is there something wrong?"
"Oh, terribly wrong. It's the door lock, we're going to need a very complicated spell to open it. Back off, ponies, I don't know if it's going to work!"
That said, Moondancer pulled a key out of her sweater. Twist, twist, twist and the door opened. She covered her mouth snickering and looked at the others. None of them seemed to be having as much fun as she was.
"Hey, that's no fun," said Flash, "I got genuinely worried!"
"Sorry," she replied, trying not to giggle.
"Flash Sentry is right." Sunburst got a little nauseous after saying that, but he kept his cool for the sake of his authority. "It's the worst moment to joke."
"Sorry," Moondancer repeated. "I just thought that we could use some humor to loosen up."
"You thought wrong."
Sunburst hurried into the room and Moondancer stood in front of the door, not knowing what to do.
"Huh. Kind guy's got a sense of humor," said Quibble.
"Welp, it's official." Lightning Dusk kicked a book towards a pile. "Saving the world is much more boring than I thought."
"I don't get it!" screamed Moondancer in distress. "I was sure it would be here. We're six ponies in a small library, all looking for the same book. Why can't we find it?"
"Maybe if it was, you know, organized like a library?" Lightning Dust pointed at the room – yes, the whole room. There were more books on the floor than in the shelves, and more ponies in the shelves than on the floor. "I don't know much about libraries, but I'm pretty sure this is not what bookworm dreams look like.
"Hey, bookworms don't have to be the same!" Moondancer folded her forehooves. "I know it's hard to see at first but I'm not Twilight Sparkle. My methods are a bit messier. Besides, you made most of this mess."
"Yeah, I guess, but my mess is an organized mess. That one over there is my trash pile and this one here" – Lightning patted three books stacked – "is my not-so-trashy pile. Simple."
"Wait." Flash Sentry looked at the heap beside him. "This is your trash pile? I thought it was your 'Flash should really check these out' pile! I have been looking through this pile for the past hour!"
"Ugh, I am surfeited! This is disadvantageous!" groaned Quibble. "We are just squandering our inestimable time with this substandard machination."
Lightning Dust cleaned her ear with one hoof. "What."
Quibble Pants closed the book he was reading – a thesaurus – and cleared his throat. "I said that we are wasting our time. Why have we spent hours searching a book that might not be what we need at all? If you ask me, I say we should be heading towards the Damagesparkian Empire. I bet there's lots of ponies there who could help us."
"We can't do anything that could compromise our mission," said Moondancer without looking at Quibble. "And if you really want your plan to be taken into account you know what you have to do." She pointed at Sunburst, who was too focused in the search and hadn't noticed the others' conversation.
Quibble frowned. One swing from his hoof and a bookshelf fell over Flash Sentry.
"Oh no," he said, deadpan, "I have killed Flash Sentry. We better bury him before his dead body starts attracting flies. Limestone, come help me dig a hole. Moondancer, Lightning Dust, you're coming too. It's not a funeral if nopony's crying."
The five ponies walked out of the room and Quibble Pants slammed the door.
"Why are we here?" Moondancer asked. "Grogar could see us."
"Yes! And I'm not an expert, but I'm sure I'm not dead!" Flash Sentry patted the wall of the tower to really make sure he was not a ghost. "Not dead!"
"Yet," said Quibble under his breath. He cleared his throat again. "Sorry. I needed to get out of there so Sunburst couldn't hear us."
"Oh. Ooh no. I'm not staying through another one of your 'Sunburst is evil-exclamation mark-exclamation mark-one-one-one' lectures." Moondancer turned around and opened the door, but Quibble stoped her.
"Moondancer, student of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. I thought you were bright, but I guess I was wrong. A pony like you, taking orders from a nopony like Sunburst? Puh-lease."
"Hey, he's not a nopony! Need I remind you that he saved the Crystal Empire? Also, he studied there, too. You already knew that. Sure, he didn't graduate, but he's as smart as any–"
A smile appeared in Quibble's lips.
Moondancer covered her mouth with her forehooves. "Please forget I said that."
"Ohoho! So not only are we following the pony who caused this in the first place, but also a magic washout? Well, what a surprise!"
"He's not a washout!"
Quibble booped Moondancer in the snout. "And what's even more surprising, you keep defending him even though he's been a jerk towards you and the team!"
"He's not a jerk!" said Moondancer as she pushed Quibble's hoof away. "He's nice, I know it. He-he's just under too much pressure! His behavior is justified. There must be a book on psychology around here that could help..."
"You want psychology? I got a diagnosis for you: Sunburst is mean. He's just taking advantage of the position the princess gave him."
"If you ask me," joined Lightning, "I wouldn't trust a pony with a goatee. One tried to stab me in a bar once."
"See? He's going to stab us in the back any time."
"Come on guys. Would an evil pony save th–"
"The Crystal Empire, yeah, we get it. But he did it who-knows-how-long ago! Wanna hear what he's done lately? He freed Equestria's most dangerous enemies, made us come up with a plan while he took a nap, destroyed the cake you carried through the castle and despised your idea and your joke. You've practically done everything for him, but has he ever thanked you?"
Moondancer's eyes were narrowed and her eyebrows furrowed. She looked away, trying to find something to say, but she got nothing. She couldn't just admit that Quibble was... right?
"That's right," he said with a smirk, "he hasn't. He's annoying, whiny and bossy. Is that what you seek in a leader? Do you really expect him to be a good friend?"
"I..." Moondancer sighed, "I guess not."
A sudden CREAK! paralized everypony.
"Sweet Celestia, please tell me it's Grogar," whispered Moondancer.
Flash Sentry walked towards the door and, alarmed upon seeing who was behind it, asked, "Sunburst?"

//-------------------------------------------------------//
                           Rage                            
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Rage
That day, the sun came out slowly, wiggly, maybe even reluctantly. Upon seeing it, anypony would think it was tired, and hesitant to show up...
...or maybe that was just Celestia.
The ruler of all things pony walked back to the castle and sat on her throne. Rising the sun hadn't left her so exhausted in a millenium.
"You're late," a familiar voice accused.
"Princess Luna! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be sleeping."
"I wanted to make sure you're okay."
Princess Celestia rubbed her eyes. "I'm not sure. I keep–"
"Also," Luna continued as she walked up to her sister, "I was wondering if you could tell me more about your plan. I slept through most of your explanation and could only hear what we're having for dinner. And let me tell you, what I've seen has only left me more disoriented."
"I dispatched six seemingly incompatible ponies in a mission to save the world, guided by an outcast! That's how friendship works, right?"
"Indeed," agreed Princess Luna with a nod. "Being responsible of the lives of thousands of ponies is the best to break the ice."  
"Oh, I'm just not sure, Luna." Celestia leaned her head against the back of her throne. "I'm starting to think friendship isn't going to save the day this time. Do we still have our old arsenal?"
Princess Luna shook her head. "We sold most of it to the griffons to afford Princess Twilight's book festival. A bad choice, but fun nevertheless. I managed to get me a bunch of Dragon Pit Z manga."
Princess Celestia nodded in agreement.
Silence.
Celestia sighed heavily and looked through the window. "How did I let this happen?" she said under her breath.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, sister. You're doing your best."
"Yes, by hiding in a luxurious castle!" The princess closed her eyes and faced the floor. "Sister, oh, sister..." She looked at Princess Luna. "We're alicorns. None among our kind would ever dare to confront us. Our power is only matched by that of deities. We're so powerful that the sun and moon themselves have given in to our will! How come we are not out there fighting those ruffians?"
"I recognize you're right, sister, but I see you ignore something very important." Luna stood in front of Princess Celestia and held her head with one hoof. "We are the rulers of this land. It is our duty to protect and guide our subjects. Sure, we could defeat one or two of these villains, but then what? We'd be too tired to move on to the next one. For the sake of our subjects, we can't expose ourselves to that kind of risk."
"So for the sake of our subjects, it's them who should risk their lives instead of us. I see."
"Just imagine if something happened to us! Then they'd be in danger. Panic would spread, Celestia. We can't let that happen."
"I know, Luna, I know!" yelled Celestia.
Luna just stared at her, waiting for her to calm down.
"I'm... sorry," Celestia apologized as she settled back on her seat. "I just keep thinking this is my fault. I should be out there doing something, not just staying here sitting idly on my throne!"
"And you will, sister. I understand how you feel, but for now there's nothing we can do. This will end soon..." Luna smiled gently at Celestia, "I promise."
Princess Celestia put her hoof over her sister's. "Thank you, Luna. But I can't stay calm in a moment like this."
"I know. Me neither."
"How did I let this happen? I keep making the same mistake over and over again. First you, then Sunset Shimmer, now Sunburst."
"Oh, don't forget Duskhorn," added Princess Luna.
"Her, too. Why does everything I ever lay my eyes upon end up corrupted?"
Luna's eyes wandered all around the room before they met Celestia's again. She sat beside her throne and looked around, thinking. "I've been to his dreams, you know?"
Princess Celestia looked at her, confused.
"To Sunburst's, I mean."
"Oh."
"They are almost inaccesible, though. Whenever I manage to break through, it's too late to do anything."
"A sleep protection spell? That's odd. When I tried to teach him that spell his whole head caught on fire."
Luna snickered. It wasn't hard to imagine Sunburst in that situation. "Worse than that. A messy sleep schedule. I tried to reach his dreams these last days to see what was going on inside his head, but it was useless. I don't think he has slept at all."
"Oh, poor thing..."
"I wouldn't want to question him, even after what he's done for the Crystal Empire and Princess Flurry Heart, but after seeing what he caused I can't help but wonder..."
"...if he's going to do a good job?" Princess Celestia giggled. "Trust me, if there's one pony who can convince Grogar that we're the weak and fearful ponies he thinks we are, it's Sunburst."
"I know. But do you reaaally think he will make it?"
"Have faith, Luna. I saw it when he was my student, and I'm sure you'll see it soon. Sunburst is not the kind of pony who gives up too easily."
"I give up," said Sunburst, covering his eyes with one hoof. "I give up, on all of you."
"Sunburst, wait!" supplicated Moondancer. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd–"
"Don't apogolize, Moondancer. You did right by acknowledging his poor behavior," cut Quibble, walking up to Sunburst. "Why, Mr. Sunburst, what a surprise!"
"Quibble, you little... cheese cracker!"
"Oh noo, I'm so hurt!" Quibble snorted. "That insult wouldn't even get you banned from my reading club!"
Sunburst groaned.
"What, you really have the nerve to think what I said was wrong?"
"Nopony thinks that but you!"
"Shh. Let the readers opine," he said as he pointed to the others.
Flash Sentry looked down. "Well, you are kinda rude."
"You have no idea how to be a leader," added Limestone Pie.
"And you have a goatee!" exclaimed Lightning Dust.
"The critics have talked," finished Quibble, rising one eyebrow in a triumphant smirk.
Sunburst's eyes ran frenetically from one pony to the other. Such rejection... it burned.
And so he ran off.
Lightning Dust wrote something down in a small notebook.
Flash stretched his neck to see what she was writing. "What's that?"
"I'm counting the times he's changed his mind. Five times and counting."
"Well," Quibble walked back to the group, "that's one less problem. No need to thank me, ponies, I was just doing my job. But, if you wanna make me the new leader..." he chuckled, "...I understand."
Moondancer's ears went up. "What."
"I'm just saying that, without that pathetic poser pony, we're in need of a leader. No, no, I know what you're going to say: 'Where are we going to find a pony so selfless, trustworthy and observant?' Fear not." He ran a hoof along his mane, tidying it. "I'll be more than glad to be that pony."
"Please tell me he's kidding."
"What? Ooooh! I see. You think I'm not worthy, don't you, ungrateful unicorn?" accused Quibble. "Pfft! After all I did!"
"How selfless," snickered Lightning.
Moondancer rolled her eyes. "Don't jump so easily to a conclusion, Pants. All I'm saying is that we can't choose a leader just like that. I say we should go back to the castle, tell Princess Celestia what happened and let her decide who the leader should be."
But Quibble insisted, "AFTER ALL I DID!" He leaned on Flash Sentry, whining. "Can you believe it? Oh, such is the fate of the helpful pony!"
Moondancer covered her ears. "I can't stand him anymore!" she yelled. "You know what you did? You ruined everything. You drove away the one pony who could guide us in this mission. Now he's gone and the princess won't be happy!"
"You agreed with me!"
"So what? We could have talked to him. We could have helped him, but of course you had to drive him away!" Moondancer rubbed her temples. "This was your plan from the start, wasn't it? You wanted him gone so you could be the leader!"
"Bah! What a judgy filly." Quibble walked away. "You know, even if that was my intention, it's not like I was wrong for doing it. You should be thanking me, I mean, I bet that Sunburst wasn't even who you thought he is! Who knows what kind of traps he was plotting in that little head of his? He was hiding something. I know it."
"Alright, crystal pony, since you're so transparent, tell us!"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Moondancer smiled maliciously at him.
Quibble's skin paled under his fur. "Oh, no."
"Oh, yes."
"Oh... what?" asked Flash Sentry.
"Lightning Dust and Limestone Pie did something to him," Moondancer paced in front of Quibble, "something he hasn't been able to forget, even after all this time. But since he doesn't have anything to hide, I believe he won't have any trouble telling us what it was..." She stopped and looked at him. "Right, Quibble Pants?"
Quibble thought about it for a second. "Fine," he gave in, trying to keep his cool. "If that's all I need to do to be the leader..."
Moondancer sat beside Flash Sentry and grabbed some popcorn.
"Lightning Dust and I used to date."
"I knew it," whispered Flash.
"But it turned out all the time she had been dating Limestone Pie!"
"Ooh!" Flash ate some of Moondancer's popcorn. "Drama. I like it."
"She used me so she and her precious marefriend could sneak in my daringfiction group and write bad stuff about my fanfics on the bulletin board!" Quibbled faced Lightning and Limestone, tearing up. "Nopony wanted to read my stuff for months!"
Lightning Dust smiled. "I would do it again."
"YOU'RE THE REASON I HAVE TRUST ISSUES!" he cried.
"YOU STOLE HOLDER'S BOULDER!" replied Limestone.
"I was hunting relics! Get over it already, will you?"
"Look who's talking about getting over things!" mocked Lightning.
"You look who's talking! You still can't get over the fact that she broke up with you after that!"
Flash Sentry chuckled nervously. "Okay, this is getting weird."
"Alright, ponies." Moondancer put her popcorn aside and stood up with a satisfied smile. "That's all I wanted to hear. Let's go to the castle now."
"Bah! Who named you the leader?" said Quibble.
"Well, maybe I should be the leader, since I'm the only one who's taking this seriously!"
"Hey, no way, I want to lead too! I'm a great flyer and an innate leader!"
"I would be a good leader!" assured Moondancer.
"I deserve to be the leader!" claimed Quibble Pants.
"I was born to be a leader!" bragged Lightning Dust.
"I just want everypony to have a good time!" joined Flash Sentry, swiftly waving his forehooves.
But Limestone Pie had other plans. She stepped forward, stomping her hooves steadily on the ground. "None of you is going to be the leader," she said, "because none of you even has an idea of what it means to be one. Disciplined. Firm. You will never have what it takes. Specially you, Quibble Pants."
Quibble pouted.
"But I have spent years managing my family's rock farm and I know just what you, mound of cotton candy crybabies, need." She cleared her throat. "ANY PROBLEMS WITH THAT?"
Flash, Moondancer and Lightning shook their heads quickly.
"That's what I thought."
"I hurried angrily down the road. Making the most of my rage, I stomped my hooves against the hard roads of Canterlot. I was mad, because I knew that if I stopped being mad, I'd just get sad beyond reason.
"Mad at Quibble, at the others for agreeing with him, but mostly... mad at myself.
"Back at magic school, everypony was... mean towards me. But it wasn't their words that bothered me, or the nicknames they gave me, or the paper planes they threw at me. No, what bothered me the most was the fact that they were right.
"Quibble Pants was right. Grogar, too. I could never be a leader nor a good friend. I could never defeat anypony, and I could never be useful for anypony, either.
"But for a moment I thought I could do it. I thought I could save the day... But not by myself. Not alone.
"In my raged walk I stumbled upon a small puddle. My teardrops distorted my reflection in the water, and the blinding light of the sun bounced in the waves of...
"Oh, great. Just great," Sunburst groaned. "Not even I can make my life sound interesting.
"I'm awful. I'm a bad, selfish pony! How could I not consider their feelings? Of course, everything has to be about me!" He smashed his face against the muddy water. "This is all my fault. I don't deserve friendship."
Sunburst took off his cloak and used it to clean his face. "Calm down, Sunburst, you're starting to sound like Starlight." He sat down and put his cloak back on. "Maybe it's a good thing. They will be much better without me. Obviously the princess wasn't thinking clearly when she chose me for the job..." Sunburst sighed. "I guess I'll just feel horrible about this forever. Oh well."
"Oh well indeed. I see you finally understand..." replied a voice out of thin air. Jingle and jangle and Grogar appeared in front of Sunburst.
"Oh, hi, you," said Sunburst, still looking at his reflection in the puddle.
Grogar frowned. "What, no screaming, no stuttering in fear?"
"Sorry. I kinda don't care if I die right now..." he shrugged. "You know how it is."
"You're no fun."
"I get that a lot."
"Well, in that case..." Grogar cleared his throat, "I suppose I shall destroy you."
Once again, Sunburst shrugged.
"Fine."
Sunburst laid down. "Whenever you want."
"Oh, quit that." Grogar shook his bells, levitating Sunburst off the ground. "I shall make this brief, for I see you have no intentions to brawl me out of your land. I have come to present you a proposal."
But Grogar's words were met with a shrug from Sunburst. Again.
...so he threw him away.
Moondancer patted Flash's back. He was panting heavily, and his fur and feathers were ruffled and covered in sweat. Lightning Dust didn't look much better.
Ponyville was no more. The same would happen to Canterlot soon. But there, at the base of the Canterlot mountain, the scene was completely different. The place was still green and pretty, still and quiet as always.
Well, it would be, if Flash and Lightning shut up for a moment.
Lightning Dust finally managed to articulate some words. "WHY," she said, "DID YOU MAKE US PULL THAT THING ALL THE WAY FROM CANTERLOT? It would have been much easier if you just let us fly!"
Limestone Pie rolled her eyes. She peeked her head out of the carriage and shot a glare at Lightning that forced her to shut her mouth.
She had been in charge for less than an hour, and they had already seen the kind of leader she was – stone-cold, stone-faced and with a heart of stone. Really, she was as rigid and hard-headed as a stone. If the elements – the ones remaining – didn't follow her rules... Well, they wouldn't dare to do that.
Still, as strict as she seemed, it was better than following Quibble's orders.
Limestone stepped out of the carriage. At every step she took, dirt flew off. It was like it was afraid of her too. She looked around deadpan until her eyes met Moondancer. "You," she uttered coldly. "Come with me."
All of Moondancer's body shook as she imagined what Limestone would tell her to do. The leader put her hoof inside the carriage and pulled a startled Quibble out of it.
"You two. Pull the carriage. Now."
Quibbled obeyed immediately, while Moondancer seemed somewhat puzzled.
"Wait," she said, not willing to obey right away. "Why do we have to pull the carriage when I could just use my magic to take us to the Damagesparkian Empire?"
"No, you can't," Limestone replied steadily.
"W-well, sure, maybe not right there, but I can–"
Limestone grunted in disgust. "Oh, this is what I hate about non-earth ponies and Quibble Pants. You're always seeking the short way to everything you do. Look around, unicorn. All these ponies are missing something. That includes you. You can't see it, but I do, and so does Princess Celestia."
Limestone Pie got in the carriage and leaned over her seat, forelegs crossed. "Or at least that's what I think."
The door opened, letting in some sunbeams that bounced against the walls of the cavern. A beautiful sight reserved only for those blinded by their own greed and selfishness.
Sunburst stepped in. "The Canterlot Crystal Caverns." He looked around, humming. "I've read about this place, but I never thought I'd see it myself."
Grogar marched in front of Sunburst, chin up. "A great location for my evil headquarters, isn't it?"
"I... think you could have done better."
"There aren't many hiding spots in this city, you know? Not appropiate ones, at least. Canterlot isn't a very horrifying place."
"I beg to differ." Sunburst looked up and around. "I actually think this is the most beautiful place in the city... But why did you bring me here?"
"As I already said... I want to present you a proposal. However, I do think it is useless to try to fool you, so I will make it clear. I have no intention but to use you."
"Oh, I'm good at that..." Sunburst whispered. He sat on the floor and wrapped himself with his forelegs. There were no air streams inside the cave, but the place was still cold. Really cold.
Grogar shook the bells from his necklace. POOF! A small fire appeared next to Sunburst. Grogar sat beside him.
The unlucky unicorn shuddered. He was sitting next to the villain that, as a colt, had inspired him even more than the hero of the book. He stroke his goatee. Thinking about it, Grogar might have been an influence when he decided to grow a beard.
Maybe it was weird to have an evil ram necromancer as your role model.
"I know you're one of the wisest ponies in Equestria when it comes to magic," said Grogar.
"I'm also the weakest unicorn to ever attend Princess Celestia's school."
"You like to live in the past, don't you?"
"It's easy when you don't have a future."
An awkward pause happened between the two creatures.
Grogar cleared his throat. "They say wisdom is power."
"I wish it was true."
"If power is what you desire..." Grogar stood up, "...power is what you shall receive."
"So what, I just side with you and then you give me everything I've been longing for?" Sunburst released a soft chuckle. "Come on.
"I... Sorry, Grogar, but you don't understand. It's not sheer power that I want, I just want to be useful!"
Grogar rolled his eyes, he knew just what was coming.
"I'm just being a crybaby." Sunburst got up. "It's time I come to terms with my uselessness. I thought I could be a hero, but now I see that it's clear that I'm not made to be the main character in this story. From now on I'll just be the beloved three-dimensional side character, always under the hero's shadow. The sidekick, the assistant, the gentle help–"
JINGLE-JANGLE! Grogar smashed a strange amulet against Sunburst's face.
"W-whaaa...?"
"Don't act like you don't know what this is."
Sunburst wrapped the object in his magic. "I-I mean, I think I've seen it before, but..." He walked his hoof along it. "Oh, I can't quite remember what it's called. Does it start with an... a?"
"Two as. It's called alliteration."
"I know." He examined the amulet. "The amazing and alliterative..."
"...Alicorn Amulet."
And then, the memories came back to Sunburst.
Back in the days of magic school, he would search for ways to boost a unicorn's power. He had a lot of free time, and ended up getting obsessed with it. Of course, there weren't many methods. A few spells, enchanted books and objects. The information was sparse, and one of them was particularly elusive: the Alicorn Amulet.
There was something about it that captivated Sunburst. Maybe its mysterious nature. Maybe his tendency to evil ways. Maybe he just liked shiny things.
Of course, it didn't take long before he realized that dark magic wasn't a viable solution. In the end, the memory ended up buried, just like every other thing he tried in order to not be a complete failure.
Sunburst took a closer look at the amulet. At its wings, its face and the gem in its chest. He could feel its magic. It was giddying. "The Alicorn Amulet..." he began, remembering the words from a book. "Known by little, bearing a power desired by many. Its origins are unknown, and so is its whereabouts...
"It's... incredible! I– I can't– Just–" He turned to Grogar, wordless. "How?"
Grogar smiled pridefully. "I didn't destroy the Damagesparkian Empire just to feed off of the fear of its citizens, you know?" He snatched the amulet from Sunburst. "Although I got to admit that I needed it, it wasn't my priority, no. I was looking for this."
Sunburst's jaw dropped. "All this time... I-it had been in Ponyville?!"
"Close. Everfree Forest." Grogar glared at the amulet. "I was planning to use it myself, however, it turns out it can only be used by your kind."
"Well, of course. It's cursed with alicorn magic. Only an unicorn – or alicorn – possesses the ability to channel such magic. It's logic."
"Shut up."
"Okie dokie."
Grogar took a deep breath. "Obviously, I still need to use it. My time is too precious, I refuse to waste it like that." He closed his eyes, meditating for a few seconds. "...that's why I need you."
Sunburst's jaw dropped further down. The amulet, wrapped in Grogar's bells' magic, danced in front of him.
"You know you want it," singsonged Grogar. "Just agree to work for me. Say yes, and this power will be all yours."
Sunburst shut his eyes. Grogar's offer was tempting. Really tempting. But he couldn't possibly betray everypony like that!
He pushed the amulet away. "No, Grogar. I won't do it."
Grogar scowled. "You've got to be kidding me. You just– I can grant you the power of a god, I can give you all that's missing in your life, and you dare to say no to me?!"
"But it's dark magic! It could corrupt me completely!" He hugged himself. "Oh, it gives me the willies."
Suddenly, Sunburst's ears flickered. Grogar was laughing.
"And why, my little pony, is that a bad thing?"
Limestone commanded to stop the carriage.
Something was wrong.
"What now?" groaned Moondancer.
"Guards," Limestone replied bluntly. Indeed, a few meters ahead, a couple of royal guards were guarding the entrance to the Damagesparkian Empire.
Their uniforms weren't like the ones they would expect from guards in central Equestria... Or in any other part of Equestria. Indeed, they looked like nothing they had seen before. They were knight-like, and consisted almost entirely of somber colors, the only bright color being the red in their helmet's crests. Actually, maybe they had seen them before. In Commander Damagespark's fantasy books.
Aside from that, they just looked like the average royal guards you'd see all around the Canterlot castle.
"Well, that's it." Limestone paced back and forth as she tried to come up with a solution. "We can't pass through those guards. We'll need to find another way in."
"Wait. Can't we tell them Princess Celestia sent us or something? I mean, it's half true."
"I wouldn't dare to go near them, Moondancer. Look at them. They are under Duskhorn's control, in more then one way. Even if we can convince them, they–"
THUMP!
Everypony gasped as they saw Flash Sentry coming out of the carriage.
"I'll go."
"Didn't you hear what I said, pegasus? We can't talk to those guards."
"Trust me in this one! I'm a guard too, I know they will listen to me. Please let me go, ma'am."
To be honest, Limestone didn't trust Flash Sentry. Not for something like that, at least. Still, she considered his request, as she thought it was worth a shot. And so, after a brief moment, she waved her hoof at him, and Flash left in the guards' direction.
Two minutes later he was back with the group, crying uncontrollably.
"Well, it's settled." Limestone looked at Flash. "Is... he ok?"
"Totally," replied Quibble. "Shut up already, they didn't even touch you!"
"But they– they– they really scared me and–" sniff, "–they were very rude!"
Limestone covered her face with one hoof. "Oh, I should have known that would happen... Alright everypony, get in the carriage!" she shouted. "I'll pull from now on."
Flash cleaned his tears. "Y-yeah, okay."
Moondancer, Flash, Quibble and Lightning settled in the carriage, Limestone put on the harness and into the Everfree Forest they went!
When the ponies realized where Limestone had brought them, they all screamed to the top of their lungs. When they were all out of screaming, they limited themselves to embracing each other and shaking in fear. And when they were out of embracing and shaking, they just sat there, waiting for death to reach them.
Moondancer stared at Limestone Pie. Until then, she had been convinced that she only chose to be the leader so she could yell at them and put them to do all the hard work, yet there she was, guiding the group through the dangers of the Everfree Forest while they sat inside the comfy carriage she stole.
She closed her eyes and let herself sink into the velvety seats of the vehicle. Although Moondancer didn't feel sleepy, she thought she would fall asleep right there. The forest was silent. Too silent. She didn't even hear the sound of the carriage's wheels, or Limestone's hooves stomping on the floor. In fact, it didn't feel like the carriage was moving, either.
"Limestone? What's wroOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Moondancer flew off her seat as Limestone dashed through the forest!
"Sorry unicorn, no time to talk. Timberwolves are coming this way."
Right after Limestone said this, a timberwolf jumped out of the bushes. "AWOOO!" he said, standing in front of the carriage.
Limestone didn't bother to stop and instead ran over the poor thing. Moondancer, Lightning, Quibble and Flash looked back at the wolf, and were surprised to see more than a pile of sticks.
"Wait. That kinda looks like..."
"It very much does, Flash. Limestone! We–"
"I said there's no time to talk, Moondancer!"
And there really was no time to talk. Two more timberwolves appeared in front of the group, and were soon joined by the one Limestone had already smashed. She tried to turn left to avoid the wolves, with very bad results. The carriage flew off, and everypony ended up scattered around their not-really-furry enemies.
As soon as the carriage tipped over, Lightning Dust leapt off the ground and into the sky. Without second thought, she flapped her wings and charged against the trio!
"Lightning, wait! Don't!" Moondancer waved her forehooves to catch the pegasus' attention.
"Pssh! Loosen up, bookworm, I know what I'm–"
CRASH! Lightning smashed the timberwolves. She peeked at the pile of sticks, only to realize that it was very much not a pile of sticks.
The wolves growled at Lightning, and she ran off and into the forest.
"I was going to say you can't attack them just like that! Can't you see? They are–"
"We're dead, everypony! Can't you see? They are wearing the same armors we saw some minutes ago! These timberwolves are under Commander Damagesparks' control!"
"Woooow!" cheered Flash Sentry. "Quibble is so smart!"
Quibble smiled, always full of himself. "Why, thank– Wait. Was that sarcasm?"
Moondancer sighed audibly through her nose. "Well, this is great. They found us."
"I guess that's that for the elements of incompetence. How sad."
"I don't want to say this, Quibble, but I'm with y–"
Flash plugged Moondancer's muzzle.
"STOP INTERRU–"
"Do you hear that?"
Indeed, in the spooky stillness of the forest, something was making a sound. Tapping, thumping. Yelling. And it was coming from the carriage.
Quibble, Moondancer and Flash stared at each other.
...
"LIMESTONE PIE!"
They all rushed to the rescue of their feared leader, only to find out that none of the three was strong enough to free Limestone.
"COULD YOU STOP THAT?!" raged Limestone, peeking her snout through the window. "We have bigger problems right now!"
"But we can't–"
"Sh... sh... SH...!"
"I told you to stop that, Flash! I'm not going to shut up!"
"SHE'S NOT WRONG!"
She was, literally, not wrong.
Moondancer's pupils shrank. "Lightning Dust! What did you do?!"
"Well, I kinda... sorta... maybe..." She gulped. "Brought the wolves together into one humongous boy. A little bit."
The wolf roared, causing the birds in the forest to flee in cartoon-like panic.
"L-Limestone...?"
"Moondancer?"
"Come out of that carriage if you don't want us to get potato-mashed."
"No can do. It's up to you now."
"W-what?! But–"
Stomp, stomp, stomp and Flash Sentry cut Moondancer off once again. "Then it's our turn to take a step forward in order to protect this land we call home..." He chuckled softly. "I accept this challenge."
And with one flap of his wings, Flash sent himself up in the air and landed in the timberwolf king's muzzle with a confident attitude that confused even the beast. He stared straight into the wolf's eyes and...
Cried his heart out.
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" he yelled through sobs. "Twilight, I know you can hear me! It's me, Flashy, your favorite pegasus! We bumped into each other once in the Crystal Empire, remember? You even said 'hi' to me in one of my dreams and I know it was really you because I've seen Princess Luna do it before!" He dropped to his knees and hugged the timberwolf's face. "Please remember me!"
The timberwolf king's eyes lit up. He sat down, always looking at Flash Sentry. Could it be? Could Flash's heartfelt words make the wolf refrain from attacking them?
Ha! Nope.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Flash as he flew off, impulsed by a sole swing from the wolf's paw.
"NOW!"
Moondancer turned her head to Limestone Pie. "What?!"
"You heard me. Attack!"
"But-but how? We're four ponies, he's four meters tall! We can't do it without you!"
"Shut up and do something for once! Just destroy him with your magic already, isn't that what you unicorns do?"
"Nngh– Fine!"
Moondancer lowered her head, charging her horn to the top of her abilities. ZAP! She blasted the timberwolf dead in the face and, to her surprise, it wasn't enough to defeat him.
"Bull's-eye!" exclaimed Limestone Pie. "Can you contain him with your magic?"
"I gu–"
"Great. Quibble Pants!"
"Yes, m'lady?"
"Can you tell our pal here about A.K. Yearling's latest book?"
"Oh, where do I start?"
"Lightning Dust! Go get Flash Sentry!"
"On it!"
The timberwolf king scowled and growled, but the elements of incompetence sans four wouldn't give up! He was trapped within Moondancer's magic, with no escape other than waiting for the unicorn to get tired. He covered his ears and grunted, begging for Quibble Pants to stop talking.
"....and as you can see, I think calling this unnamed character – whom I've decided to name Gabble Chants for no significant reason – 'skittish and feeble' was really rude and fairly inaccurate, and I mean, it's not like I know him or anything, that would be ridiculous, and I think I– I mean, Gabble deserved to be in the cover, because you see, he was as much of a hero as Daring Do and Chainsaw Smash, if not more, and well, that's just my opinion but I think it's a correct opinion. And don't even–"
"INCOMIIIIING!"
It's a bird! It's an aerial vehicle yet to be invented in Equestria! No, it's...!
"FLASHBOOOOOOOOOMB!"
And POW! SHEENG! KAPOW! Lightning Dust threw Flash Sentry straight against the timberwolf king, giving him the coup de grace and smashing him to bits!
The ponies watched in awe as sticks and splinters rained down over the forest, blessing them with peace and sawdust at last.
"Everypony get in the carriage NOW!"
Moondancer, Flash Sentry, Quibble Pants and Lightning Dust turned around, and were all surprised to see both Limestone Pie and the carriage safe and sound and ready to go.
"Wait– You could've got out of that thing by yourself whenever you wanted?!" yelled Moondancer, confused. "How– What– Why?"
"Ha. I saw it coming," bragged Quibble.
"Pfft, yeah," replied Lightning Dust. "How so?"
"Well, first, Limestone Pie is strong enough to smash three carriages combined. Second, We all pulled from that thing! It just seemed strange that we couldn't s..."
That night, the moon came out quickly, steadily, maybe even eagerly. Upon seeing it, anypony would think it was taking advantage of the sun's weary condition.
After their eventful encounter with the timberwolves, the elements of incompetence settled behind a small, lovely house near Ponyville. There they sat, discussing the next step of their road to failure.
"You know, some fire would look real pretty right here," suggested Quibble, shivering. "To, I don't know, warm this place up? I'm freezing!"
"No fire," replied Limestone. "We can't stick our necks out like that. That fight against the timberwolves was already too much risk."
"I still can't believe we beat those nasty piles of brushwood!" Flash flapped his wings in excitement. "I feel like I can do anything!"
Lightning Dust leaned back against the wall and let out a pleased sigh. "Yeah, I knew we could do this."
"I could've never done it without you!" He reached Lightning and Quibble and hugged them tightly. "I love you guys! You know, I'm really starting to feel like we're a team here!"
Quibble Pants and Lightning Dust chuckled nervously as they struggled to break out of Flash's hooves.
Limestone gazed at the group with a content smile. "Well, don't you feel it too?" she said to Moondancer, striking her softly.
Moondancer stared at the floor in thoughtful silence. Limestone struck her again, a little harder, seeking to catch her attention.
"Hm?"
"I said, don't you feel it too?" Limestone settled back. "Say, is something bugging you?"
"No, nothing." She shrugged. "Just thinking."
Limestone Pie arched an eyebrow.
"This is what you meant when you said we're missing something, isn't it? Valor. Motivation. You pushed us to do something we didn't think we could do." She looked at Limestone. "It's what a leader does, right?"
She replied with a slow nod. "I just figured you needed to get some work done."
"But why? It's not like we're doing something big. Our only purpose here is to fail."
"If we're going to fail, we can at least do it right."
Moondancer groaned softly.
"You know, unicorn... I think you need to change the way you see this. Sure, it may not seem difficult or big, but it is important. We are important. We can't make a poor job just because it doesn't seem like a big deal!"
"I... guess."
"Look. Some tasks, as insignificant as they are, can be very fulfilling as long as you work hard." Limestone stared straight into Moondancer's eyes. "Take it from the pony who works at a rock farm."
Moondancer giggled with newfound relief. "Alright," she said.
Then the two ponies just stared at the others for a moment.
"I was wrong about all of you," said Limestone, then paused for a second. "You aren't incompetent, no. You just needed a little push."
"Thank you," replied Moondancer with a smile. "I was wrong about you, too. I think you're going to be a great leader."
Limestone smiled in return. "Thanks."
"Although..." Moondancer scratched the back of her neck, "I do have to ask, why did we come to the Damagesparkian Empire? I'm not sure we should be here."
"Oh, trust me. I've got a plan."
"How lovely!"
Everypony froze on their spots, unwilling to look at whoever said that. Their sudden partner giggled.
"Why, may I know what this little plan of yours is?"

//-------------------------------------------------------//
                       Incompetence                        
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Incompetence
PLOP! PLOP! PLOP!
The sound of water dropping from a leak on the ceiling was driving Sunburst insane. PLIP!, PLAP!, PLOP!, repeat. At least I'm not outside, he thought. But it was his last night in the dungeon, he'd have to leave soon.
As weird as it may sound, Sunburst had enjoyed his stay at the dungeon. Sure, it was dark, wet, and had around two or three pony skeletons inside every cell, but it was better than being outside, under the rain, under everypony's judgement. He even considered using the bad weather as an excuse to stay a little longer, just for a few days, until the whole "affair" was over. He just wasn't ready to deal with what he had caused.
Sunburst heard a pony coming into the dungeon. He got out of his corner and peeked through the bars, hoping for a familiar face. He could only see a silhouette whose features, though distorted by the movement of the torch flame, were still recognisable. It was a royal guard, that was evident. A pegasus guard, probably coming to get him out of the dungeon. Once the guard crossed the entrance Sunburst proved that it was, indeed, a familiar face. But he wasn't pleased. At all.
"Sunburst?" The pegasus asked. "Are you in here?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm right here. Congratulations." Sunburst replied with a what-are-you-doing-here-y tone.
"Sunburst!"
"Flash Sentry."
"There you are, I've been wandering around this place for hours looking for you!" Flash Sentry walked closer to Sunburst's cell.
"Oh, poor creature! Come in! Want a drink? I was about to have some rain water with Mister Skull here." Sunburst levitated a pony skull and brought it closer to Flash. "Say hi, Mister Skull!"
"Ga-ah! Quit that!" Flash Sentry backed.
Sunburst put Mister Skull back on the ground. "That wasn't very chivalrous from you, Flash Sentry."
Flash grunted.
"Whatever. What could have possibly made me worthy of your pleasurable presence today?"
"What? Uh–" Flash cleared his throat and stood straight. "Princess Celestia assigned me to escort you out of here," he said in his best guard voice.
"Fine." Sunburst opened the door and walked to the exit.
"Wait, it was– Hey, stop right there, criminal!"
"Oh, come on!" grunted Sunburst, turning to Flash. "You know I'm no criminal! Or... not a dangerous one, at least... Can we go back to the Crystal Empire already?"
"The Crystal Empire will wait a little longer. The princess wants to see you."
Princess Celestia kept a stern, unexpressive face. She examined all four of the ponies present from her throne, swinging her eyes from side to side. The air in the room felt warm and heavy, and the silence left much to be desired. Outside the castle, lots of fighting and screaming and fire-ing and mourning took place.
One of the anonymous attendants, an earth pony, whispered at the mare on his side's ear. "I think she hasn't blinked in ten minutes!"
The mare, also and earth pony, didn't bother to look at her partner, and instead pushed him towards a near pegasus.
"Hey, I don't wanna stand next to the nerd!" Whined the pegasus.
"That's adventure book connoisseur for you, wimpy Wonderbolt wannabe!" Alliterated the earth stallion.
"Wimpy?! Oh, I'll show you how much of a wimpy wannabe I am!" She threw a punch at the stallion, who bumped against the aforementioned earth pony in his attempt to avoid the attack, causing a fight between the three.
A unicorn mare glanced at the childish group and took a step forward. "Excuse me, princess?" She gulped.
"Yes, Moondancer?" Asked Princess Celestia, smiling gently.
"Why did you convene us?"
"All your doubts will be answered in due time." She used her magic to separate the fighting foals. "For now, let's focus on waiting for your guide."
"Our guide?"
"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Screamed a royal guard, bursting into the room.
"GAA!" Exclaimed the princess, vaporizing the guard out of existence with a panic-powered magic beam.
Another guard peeked from the door. "Uh..."
"Oh– Oh, dear me! Sorry, the latest events have got me a little... unsettled," Celestia excused. "What's wrong?"
"Flash Sentry has arrived with the prisoner."
"Oh, perfect! Please, tell them to come in."
The royal guard bowed and exited the room. After him entered Flash Sentry and Sunburst.
Sunburst stood behind Flash Sentry, ears back, head hanging low. Admittedly, he wasn't worried that the princess would see him so... down. After all, she had already seen his worst moments back at magic school. The other ponies, however, knew nothing about him. With some luck they would be familiar with the "saving the Crystal Empire" thing, but as far as Sunburst knew, in their eyes he was just the pony responsible for Equestria's fall. He preferred not to look at them, and remained silent, eyes fixed on the floor.
"Sunburst and Flash Sentry, please join our guests in front of my throne. Now that we're all present..." Princess Celestia stood up and walked towards the six ponies. "I believe most of you must be wondering why I needed you to come here."
"I'm definitely clueless!" Exclaimed the self-proclaimed book connoisseur.
"Ahem. Yes. Well, I think there's no need to explain the current... circumstances."
"No, like I said, I'm clueless. I withdrew myself from the world for two days to read A.K. Yearling's latest book – a train wreck, by the way – and when I finished Equestria had reached its doom. Could you... fill me in?"
Princess Celestia grunted. "Three days ago–"
Sunburst rised his hoof.
"Yes, Sunburst?"
"Can I go out to swim in my pity?"
"Uh, sure. Flash Sentry, could you accompany him?"
"Yes, ma'am," replied Flash Sentry. He put one of his wings over Sunburst's back and walked him to the exit.
Once they were out, Sunburst closed the door.
"What's the matter Sunbie Wunbie, can't bare the weight of your own actions?" Joked Flash with pretended compassion.
"No. I-I mean, yes. I mean– I don't need to hear my latest mistake narrated by the princess, I'm done with that story, I already lived it. A thousand times. In my nightmares." Sunburst sat on the floor. "Geez, now I almost understand why Starlight behaves the way she does.Almost."
"Woah, sorry," he retracted. "Do you need a hug?"
"No, thanks. I'm done with you too."
"Fine." Flash sat beside Sunburst. "Well, seems like the princess will take some time explaining what you did. How about you explain me WHY you did it?"
"I already said I'm done with both you and that story."
"No, there's a difference. You said you're done with the what, not the why."
Sunburst sighed. "Whatever. I don't think it will be any different from talking to my therapist."
"Huh?"
"It all started when I was a young colt. Back in my hometown, I was–"
"Summary please," requested Flash.
Sunburst grumbled and settled in his spot. "I did it because..." he looked around, trying to find the right words, "because I felt unwanted. You see, when you spend most of your life sight unseen as I have, other ponies' attention becomes a treasure. When I helped save the Crystal Empire, I got that attention and appreciation. The idea to lose that, I couldn't bare it. And after seeing how everypony adored Starlight and her friends at the We-saved-Equestria-and-Starlight-Graduation-Party I just... I got a little jealous. So I tried to retrieve my praise by doing something heroic, and since you stole my first chance, I had to go with plan B. And well, you know what happens next." He got up. "I guess it's for the better. It was about time for somepony to pop my bubble and tell me I can't be a hero..." Sunburst turned around and looked at Flash Sentry. "So... Thank you. This is all your fault."
Flash Sentry was touched. "Woah... I had no idea your life had– wait, my fault? Hey, don't try to blame me, you got–" He was interrupted by a creak from the door.
"Hey, stop smooching, Celestia needs you in the room," said the previous pegasus mare.
Sunburst frowned and hurried into the room, followed by Flash Sentry. Princess Celestia was now looking through a parchment, waiting for her guests to come. Flash Sentry announced their arrival once again, and both stallions returned to their place in front of the princess' throne.
Princess Celestia cleared her throat. "Now that we're all reunited– uh, and updated..." She rolled the parchment and used it to smack Sunburst in the head.
"Hey!" Complained Sunburst.
"You're a careless little rat!" Scolded Princess Celestia.
"It's Flash Sentry's fault!"
Flash Sentry took the princess' parchment and hit Sunburst with it.
"Let the adults talk, Flash Sentry!" Sunburst snatched the parchment from Flash Sentry and hit him with it.
"COULD YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF FOALS AND TELL US WHY WE'RE HERE ALREADY?!" Screamed Moondancer, surrounding the troublemaking trio with her magic.
"Sorry," they said in concert.
Moondancer put them down, Celestia retrieved the parchment from Sunburst's magic and Flash Sentry pushed him back to the group.
"Like I was saying..." Princess Celestia sat in her throne, unrolled the parchment and read it out loud. "Today, I have convened you because... Impending doom... Eternal crisis... Dead is upon us... Oh, who cares?" She crumpled the parchment and threw it away. "We're running out of time, ponies. Our kingdom is in danger, and it's not some two-parter threat, it's a made-for-television movie menace! We've lost our best hero, without Twilight–"
"Duskhorn," corrected Sunburst.
"Without Duskhorn," continued the princess, "I'm afraid we're heading straight into failure. We attempted to dispatch Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Thorax and Discord to take charge of Lavan, but it seems the latter has dissapeared. Duskhorn, well... she discovered her improvised army wasn't going to work and set her eyes on taking on Tirek all by herself. Meanwhile, Grogar has completely devastated the Damagesparkian Empire formerly known as Ponyville and has now targetted Canterlot as the next victim of his thirst for power."
"So, in short, you want us get out there and be Equestria's next heroes?" Asked the pegasus mare.
"Don't worry, princess." Flash Sentry did a military salute with one of his wings. "We won't let you down."
"No, no. I appreciate your loyalty, Flash Sentry, but what I need is time. Half of the kingdom has already accepted their death, the other has yet to realize that Equestria is no more. Or at least it won't be, if we keep going at this rate. That's why I need you."
"Anything you need us to do, princess, we'll do it."
"Right now I need you to shut up, Flash Sentry."
"On it!"
"Like I was saying..." Princess Celestia stood up and walked towards the six ponies. "Throughout your lives as minor characters you have showed exceptional characteristics. There's something inside each one of you that makes you stand out from the rest, an element best represented only by your own true essence." She walked to the first pony in the line. "Limestone Pie, the oldest of four sisters and manager of the Pie Family Rock Farm. A hard worker, although your inner anger doesn't bring out the best in you at times. You shall represent the Element of Rage."
"Can I go home now?" Asked Limestone.
"Lightning Dust, if I had to describe you with one word it would be 'confident', however, 'reckless' might be a better option. Your own lack of empathy and precaution crushed your dreams to become a Wonderbolt. I name you Element of Recklessness."
Lightning Dust replied with nothing but a sigh.
"Quibble Pants, I know nopony who would defend their interests with as much passion as you."
"Well, 'passion' is one word to describe it," grumbled Lightning.
"Yes. And 'annoyingness' is another. This shall be your element, carry it with pride."
Quibble Pants was puzzled. "Princess, I–"
"Moondancer. One of my most clever, talented and focused students. But as prodigious as you were, you were also doubtful. It was this doubt, this self doubt that eventually led to your total isolation. Let it lead you again as your element."
"Should... Should I be thankful...?"
"Not at all." Celestia turned around and stumbled upon Flash Sentry.
"I will pridefully accept all of your insults, my princess," he said.
"Oh, Flash Sentry, such a committed member of the royal guard. But I believe you know commitment can't get you anywhere by itself."
"You are most certainly right, your majesty!"
She giggled. "But you make a good obstacle. Let others stumble upon you, element of hindrance."
Sunburst chuckled as he heard the princess say this.
"Sunburst, I'm impressed, this is the first time I see you smile in a while. I believe you see some truth in my words."
"You are most certainly right, your majesty," he parodied.
"And I see you enjoy sass, that's something I didn't expect from you. It can be a pleasure to have you around, however, this is not the reason I called your presence today."
"I don't doubt it."
"Rage, recklessness, annoyingness, self doubt, hindrance. Do all these words remind you of something?"
"Yes," Sunburst replied, "my life."
"Yes! Pure incompetence! You see, Sunburst, throughout your days at magic school and now with your last... fall, you" – Princess Celestia walked away – "have taught me– no, us... a great lesson."
A tiny smile appeared in Sunburst's lips. He followed the princess, interested in what she was saying. "Yeah? What is it?"
"That no matter how many times you fail, you can always fail again."
Sunburst's ears dropped as his sprouting smile turned into a dissapointed frown. "And you're telling me this because...?"
"Because there cannot be incompetence without failure."
"Wait," interrupted Quibble Pants, "shouldn't that be the other way around?"
"No, I think they are synonyms." Flash looked at his partners. "They are symonyms, right?"
"What did I say, Flash Sentry?" Asked Princess Celestia.
"That you needed me to shut up, princess, ma'am."
"Yes." Princess Celestia turned back to Sunburst. "I'm telling you this because now it is your duty to lead this ponies as the Element of Failure."
"The Element of Failure? W-wait. LEAD? ME?!"
The princess ignored Sunburst's questions and went back to her throne.
"Princess!" He followed her. "Princess, I can't lead! I can't even make my own choices, and when I do, I make BAD choices!"
"Oh, Sunburst..." She held Sunburst's face with one forehoof. "I know this seems dark and scary, specially for a pony like you, but these ponies need a guide and I chose you for a reason. You caused this, and it is your responsibility to fix it, not only because it's the right thing to do, but because you need it."
Sunburst let out a reluctant sigh. As unsure as he was, the princess was right. "Fine..."
"Believe in yourself, Sunburst. You can do this." Celestia spread her wings and, with one light push, rose over the six element bearers. "Now go out there my subjects, be the bait Equestria needs right now as the Elements of Incompetence!"
"Wait, what?"