Subject: Sketchy (the) Changeling
Greetings fellow reader, my name is Princess Twilght Sparkle, though I suppose you know who I am if you are reading this. I am writing and presenting to you this short subject study on Changeling culture in hopes to bette inform you for any possible future interactions with changelings now that they are a part of our culture.
First a quick history on the main word used to describe the moment our subjects are about to encounter, that being the word, “Shifter” or “Shifta”. Shifter was a derogatory name created by ponies after the Wedding invasion of Cantorlot by Queen Chrysalis and her then unreformed changelings. It was a hate word not only to describe what they were capable of doing, but we also a reference to the word, “Shifty” to describe somepony that looked suspicious or up to no good. Even after the second defeat of Queen Chryalias and the ascension of now King Thorax, there was still some trust issues by some ponies, mostly in the southern Equestria area.
Also soon after the first defeat of the former Queen Chrysalis, a hate group was formed by some of the Canterlot citizens which eventually spread throughout Equestria. They came to call themselves the “Changeling Clensing Clan” or “CCC”, and they soon adopted the use of the word, “Shifter” from the Canterlot elite that were disgusted by the changelings after the first invasion.
Eventually after the reformation of the Changelings and the abdication of Chrysalis, the term eventually fell out of use, though some ponies, mainly in the southern Equestrian area, as I’ve said before still used it, eventually we deemed it a derogatory word that would make a pony speciesist if used. I and my friends plus many others I know have never gone as far as to even utter the word, and I’m glad we did, but I digress. Surprisingly after the reformation of the Changelings, they adopted the word themselves but instead dropped the “er” at the end and replaced it with an A. We were worried about the Changelings using the term until we immediately realized it wouldn’t be really speciesist if the species that was using it was the species the word ridiculed, so we were okay with it, though ponies and other species still aren’t allowed to say it in front of them. When Changelings use it, to them it means something like, “brother”, “friend”, etc., when it’s said by other species, it’s a derogatory term.
But now let’s get to the main focus of this study I have written, the moment between Changelings associated with the term. (By the way if you are wondering, I have been allowed by King Thorax to use the word since it’s for educational purposes) Picture this scenario if you will, a busy Manehatten Street with ponies trotting by quickly, on one side of the city we have a changeling walking towards a street crossing wearing a Orange cap on his head with a green T-shirt and an also orange hoodie, his name is Sketchy, he is listening to music while walking to Rarity’s Manehatten Boutique (he has a crush on Rarity BTW), on the other side we have another changeling walking towards the same crossing, he is wearing a white muscle shirt and purple shorts, he will remain unamed.
Eventually they both show up at the street crossing, the light turns read and the ponies are allowed to cross, soon the Changelings are both in each other’s path, but when the changeling is about to pass Sketchy, he bumps right into him on purpose, knocking his music player and headphone to the ground. Sketchy is annoyed by this, and soon immediately after, the changeling in the muscle shirt says, “Watch where you walkin’ shifta.” Then sketchy taken back by his comment replies with, “A-Aye watchu say shifta?” Now prepare yourself, you are about to picture a shifta moment.
Culturists define the shifta moment as a moment when ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical changeling male, causing them to act in an illogical, self-destructive manner, I.E., like a shifta.
At this point, both changelings pull out concealed firearms and point them at each other, the Unamed Changeling replies to Sketchy’s comment with, “What did you say bitch shifta?!?!”, and Sketchy retorts with, “Aye squeeze it shifta!!!” Soon they both fire a halestorm of bullet at each other somehow missing each other and also avoiding any civilian casualties. Eventually they both run out of bullets and then realize what situation they have been put it, Sketchy says to the changeling, “Aye wait man wait, this is stupid.” To which the other changeling replies, “Aye you right, look let’s put the guns away, and go on about our business.” Before they are able to go about however, two police offers show up, tell them to freeze, and then shoot them dead.
Shifta moments are unpredictable, but they all end up bad. If they had their own category, shifta moments would be the third leading killer of changelings behind love overdoses and getting caught in flytraps, it’s a fact.
Now let’s picture the next scenario of how a shifta moment affects a pony. Picture of you will Sketchy and Prince Blueblood walking towards each other. The prince is on his way to the castle while carrying some tea in his hoof while Sketchy is coming towards him just strolling. Sketchy bumps into him on purpose causing a bit of Blueblood’s tea to spill on him and it results in him muttering an insult under his breath to Sketchy. This causes Sketchy to say to him, “Watch were you walkin’ bitch!”
To which Blueblood replies with, “What did you just-.” Before stopping and realizing, “What a minute....haha, I’m a pony.” Before taking a sip of his tea and then just walking away, leaving sketchy in a state of confusion and anger which causes him to yell pointlessly at him, saying something like, “Where you goin’?! Don’t you ignore me! This is a perfectly good moment to throw your life away!”, and of course, Blueblood pays no attention.
Finally, I would like to debunk a common, misconception about the shifta moment, that being it can be avoided by simply moving away from *ahem*, ”shiftas”. If only it were that easy.
That concludes my study on Changelings and shifta moments. I hope this knowledge can help you to better understand changeling culture in a way, and if you want to learn more form me the Princess of friendship, please take a look at my book written by me and my friends, “The journal of Friendship”. Thank you.
Author's Note
I figured if I want to make this good and seem a bit original and not a total ripoff of the boondocks, I pulled a Stephen King to be able to write this, as well as make an effort to think.
Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed this, please like and/or share this story.
