Organizing Chaos

Another day, another pay, thought discord getting the traps ready for the wood chucks.

“Finally doing your job,” said Iron Will, the douchebag gym leader.

“Well, when you gonna do your job. You’re supposed to be the gym leader, and all’s I see is a bunch of fat fuckletts waddling around school.”

“It’s America fucktard, they’re all chubby. You just can’t drill ‘em like they used to.”

“Bullshit and you know it. I fucked off just as much in gym class as most students do now.”

Iron Will laughed and walked away. Discord may be the janitor, but he was still higher on the educational pecking order than the gym teacher. The weird girl appeared from around the bend with a bag of stuff. Was she seriously hiding back there until Iron Will left? What the fuck’s wrong with her?

“I got some vegetables…for the critters,” she said quietly.

What else they would be for, he thought. He grabbed the bag from her and she shied away at his approach. Damnit, you really do suck. Without the weird girl you’d be screwed. Then again, without her you’d be covered in rodent blood and guts right now.

She went to walk away. “Wait,” he almost shouted. She almost jumped at that. She turned around slowly. “Thank you,” he said, trying to sound sincere.

“Okay,” she almost whispered, and then damn near ran away. Holy shit she’s just as socially fucked as your daughter. As he was placing the carrots, celery and cabbage in the traps he thought, you should have asked her for her name. He didn’t know why he thought that.

***

After another mundane day at of work, it was time to check the traps and meet the weird girl to take the woodchucks wherever she was going to take the. Discord really couldn’t care less where. The girl brought her southern friend with her to help out with everything. Some of the woodchucks were wary about entering with traps after seeing their brethren in them. Discord managed to get between their nest and the traps and chase them in.

“Umm…you don’t have to scare them like that,” said the weird girl.

“Well, I’ll ask politely next time,” said Discord. That slipped out before he realized how surprising it was that she would say something like that at all. The southern girl shot him a dirty look and the other one just looked away, somehow hurt by his sarcasm. A big fellow who appeared to be one of their brothers pulled up in a car to help load the creatures away. “So, what are your names?” asked Discord, not knowing why he asked that.

After a pause of silence, the weird girl mumbled something incomprehensible. “I’m Applejack, and this here’s Fluttershy,” said the hillbilly in a heavy southern drawl.

“Well, thanks Applejack and Fluttershy,” said Discord, almost as quietly as Fluttershy.