The Carnivore Cooking Contest!

by Pozzo

Rating: mature
Tags: Anthro, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Gore, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 10282

Pinkie butchers her friends. It's ok though, she pays them. Somehow this is not a grimdark horror story.

Pinkie Pie is not only Ponyville's favourite baker: she's also the town butcher. By which I mean she butchers the townsponies. Good thing Equestria is magical and there's ways to survive that, huh? Especially when Pinkie hears about an upcoming contest. She'll be needing to practice so she can get that perfect pony recipe!

This is a blatant cannibalism story, without any edgy grimdark stuff but still very obviously appealing to certain weird fetishes, so fair warning. It is complete nonsense. Contains: Anthro, lots of non-lethal gore, cooking/preparation stuff (more of the gore than the cooking really), and possibly rumpy-pumpy in the future: tags will be added for that later.

Published 2017-11-09 03:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-15 02:15:00 UTC

Chapter 1: Pinkie's New Business

Applejack read the small, neat writing again, and frowned.

“We’re low on bits again?” she asked, throwing a hand up in exasperation. Beside her, peering down over her shoulder, her brother nodded solemnly.

“YYyyyup.” He confirmed. He watched as his sister read over the financial calculations he had done once more. Bic Mac knew it was true, though, just as it had been the last few times they had started to run out money. The giant red stallion waited patiently for his sister to reach the same conclusion he had. After a few minutes of careful rereading and hopeful inquiries, Applejack sighed and nodded.

“Well, shoot. Ah guess that new farm equipment cost more than ah thought.” She said, looking up at Big Mac. He remained silent. “Then again, you kinda said that at the time didn’t you?”

“Yyyyyup” said Big Macintosh. The orange mare smiled, crossing her arms in resignation.

“Well, guess ah know a quick and easy fix to this.” She said. “At least Pinkie’ll be happy, right? And if we’re lucky I’ll have something to bring home with me too. That’d be just swell for y’all here, huh?”

“Yyyyyup.”

Applejack went next door to her own room. After quickly putting on her jacket and getting herself presentable, Applejack inspected herself in the mirror. She wondered exactly what she’d look like when she came home now. The last few times she’d gotten away with it looking relatively fine, but…

“Hey, going out Sis?”

AJ turned and seen her teenage sister standing in the doorway, munching cheerfully on an apple. Applejack walked over and ruffled Applebloom’s red hair, making her back out of the room and letting the older mare pass.

“Yup, seeing Pinkie Pie again.”said Applejack. This statement inspired a grin from her sister, who started to trail excitedly behind her as she walked down the hallway towards the stairs.

“Ooh, ooh, think you can bring anything nice home with you again? That casserole we made last time was to die for!”

“Ah’ll see what I can do, sugurcube. Now get. And don’t tell Granny nothing, let Big Mac do the talking while I’m gone.”

“He ain’t exactly one for talking, Applejack.”

“You know what ah mean! Back in a jiffy!”

Applebloom went to the window and watched her beloved big Sis walk down the pathway out of the farm, heading out towards Ponyville. Her mind started to get ahead of itself, and she found herself fantasizing about potential future treats. Everyone loved Pinkie’s products, after all. Would she be lucky enough to try one of her famous pies, perhaps? Applebloom bit deeply into her apple to sate the hunger that had suddenly descended onto her. It didn’t help.

====================================================================================

It was the same old Ponyville that quiet, sunny morning. This wasn’t a complaint from Applejack, as she was a girl who always appreciate the value of a working watch remaining un-mended. She trod down the familiar old streets and seen the faces of the ponies she knew so well, greeting them in turn.

“Mornin’, Ms Cheerilee! Enjoy your day off, now!” she said to the passing earth mare, who flashed her a big grin as she headed off to do…well, whatever it was Ms Cherilee done on her days off. Applejack made a note to ask her next time she seen her.

“Good morning, Applejack!” said a voice from up high. Applejack looked up and waved at a grey-furred, golden-eyed pegasus floating haphazardly in the air above, clutching a bag stuffed full of letters.

“And a fine morning to you too, Derpy!” said the earth mare, tipping her hat as Derpy flew on past. As Applejack got nearer to Sugurcube Corner, she saw two mares chatting away. One was a minty green unicorn who was in the middle of chewing on a chocolate muffin, and the other was a robot. Looked like one of Ponyville’s most well-known couples had just payed Pinkie a visit!

“Morning girls. Nice day, huh?” she said, casually greeting the pair.

“Oh, hello Applejack!” said the green mare, after swallowing her food. The robot beside her was painted cream, with a pink and purple metallic mane. She was also wearing a rather fetching summer dress that matched her “fur”.

“Nice to see you, AJ!” said Bon-Bon, her voice ringing out of unseen speakers with the slightest hint of distortion. “Going to see Pinkie again?”

“Yup, need a little bit injection if you know what I mean, so gonna see what ah can do for her.”

“Hehe, well don’t let me of all ponies stop you!” replied the robotic mare, giggling along with her companion and the farm pony. The three mare parted company, Applejack sighing happily as the two marefriends went their own way. She wondered how she would look if that was how things went that far. Well, no point thinking too much about it, she thought to herself. Needs must. Still smiling, Applejack entered Sugurcube corner, and was met almost instantly by the very girl she had come to see.

“Well goooood morning there, Applejack!”

By the counter stood the bouncing, bubbly ball of energy known as Pinkie Pie. She was wearing a bright pink shirt that was probably slightly too small for her, her mid-drift on full display and her sizeable cleavage bulging out from underneath her shirt. Applejack sauntered over to the counter, taking her hat off.

“Howdy, Pinkie! How’s business?”

“Oh, Applejack! It’s never been better!” exclaimed the pink earth mare, leaning down and resting her face on her elbows on the counter. Pinkie was a natural smiler, ,but lately she had been even happier and livelier than before. Right now she was smiling so wide it threatened to split her face n two. “Ever since I opened up the extra shop it seems like we get more customers everyday! Oh, and I got a new box of herbs and sauces and stuff like the griffons use, and I have So. Many. Ideas!”

“Hah, well that’s super, Pinkie! Ah just know whatever you come up with next is gonna be terrific.” Said Applejack, sincerely.

“Thanks, AJ! So, uh…can I help you?” asked Pinkie Pie, a subtle but definite knowing tone applied to her voice. Applejack nodded.

“Well, talking ‘bout business…” she said, blushing a little as she revealed her reason for coming. Applejack was not a pony to ask for help-the reason she was here rather than asking for a loan or anything was simple. With Pinkie, she was engaging in a transaction. That made it feel less like asking for money and more like a mutual favour. Just friends helping friends, really. “We might kinda need a few more bits at the farm, and ah know you’ve got the bits to spare, so thought we could, you know, do business again?”

“YES!” cried Pinkie, punching the air. She froze, then coughed. “I mean, hah, sure, why not? Follow me!” She eagerly stepped out behind the counter and went across to another door, which had been recently built into the store. She opened it and stepped through, humming a bright and chipper tune to herself as she went. Applejack followed her inside into a small hallway, hastily painted a bright pink colour and lit by a single, flickering bulb.

“Ya know, this place could use a little something to make it kinda homelier. A painting or something.”

“Heehee, yeah! You sound like Rarity or something.” Laughed Pinkie Pie, as they reached the end of the corridor. She opened the door at the end. The room inside was pitch black. “Well, after you, Applejack! I’m right behind you!” AJ stepped into the darkened room. The noise of the street outside, which you could usually hear inside the bakery section of Sugurcube corner, was completely absent, and the only sound seemed to be a sort of dripping noise coming from inside the room.

“I’ve got a super fun surprise for you, Applejack!” giggled Pinkie from somewhere behind the farmer. There was a loud clicking noise, and suddenly the room was bathed in a weak, yellow light. The two other main colours that stuck out inside this room were silver and red. The silver came from a variety of wicked looking blades that seemed to be found anywhere, gleaming ominously. Knives of different sizes and shapes were lying on various metallic work surfaces and even hung up around the walls. Nasty looking hooks hung from the ceiling from chains, swinging slowly and menacingly.

But no matter where you looked, you couldn’t escape from the overwhelming red taint that covered the room. On the blades, the hooks, the surfaces, the floor and the walls, from relatively bright reds to darker, grimier shades…Applejack felt her head spinning as she took it all in, not even the door behind her shut tight. She just about managed to focus on what was lying on the table. Red, raw-looking chunks lay scattered haphazardly on the table, and right in the centre, stained slightly red, sat what was unmistakably a pony’s skull.

“Pinkie Pie…” said Applejack, in quiet voice. She turned around to the pink earth mare, who stood by the door, now wearing an apron that may once have been white, but no longer. She giggled.

“Yes, Applejack?” she asked, acting with her usual cheerfulness, in stark contrast to everything else and her friend’s shocked demeanour. The orange mare pressed on, pointing a finger right at her.

“You…you…you’ve not been cleaning yer butchering room right at all!” she said, exasperated, throwing her arms around in an attempt to indicate pretty much the entire room. “Look at the walls, there’s blood everywhere! You know better than to leave this place in such a state!”

“I know, really I do, but those stains are so hard to scrub out!” whined Pinkie, looking embarrassed as she looked around the room. “I really have tried. I think I’ll have to ask Twilight if she has some kind of super-duper cleaning spell or something. Or Rarity, she’d know something like that, right?”

“You better hope so.” Said Applejack, before picking up a meat cleaver lying on the counter next to the hunks of meat.”And You better not be using those bloody knives, either, that’d be unhygienic as all heck!”

“Of course not! Why do you think I have so many knives lying around!” replied the baker turned butcher, gesturing to the assortment of sharp implements that decorated the room. “Besides, I’m working on a solution to the whole “getting blood everywhere” thing, don’t worry! Soon sticky floors and dirty knives will be a thing of the past! Well, at least in here.”

“It can’t be –that- hard to wash out a knife, Pinkie.”

“Ok, so maaaaybe I kinda forgot to wash them from time to time because I, say, got caught up organizing Gummy’s surprise birthday party. Or because I had an idea for a song about parties. Or…” Applejack buried her face in her palm as her friend rattled off her brain’s various distractions. Then, AJ picked up the grinning skull that was also lying on the counter. The top had been crudely sawed off, and was missing. AJ turned it around in her hands and staring into the empty eye-sockets.

“Who’s is this, then?” she asked, showing it to Pinkie.

“Carrot Top, first thing this morning! She saw Bon-Bon’s new look and came straight here, she told me.Ooo, his is hers too, actually!” Pinkie pointed at the meat next to the skull. “She had more on her that you might think, so I left that there while I worked with her other meat!”

“Pinkie, pretty sure you should put that in a fridge or something.” Said AJ, prodding the wet red slices with her finger. Pinkie blinked.

“…You’re right! Thanks, AJ! I need to get one installed in here, actually. That’d be super convenient.”

“Ah’d say you need a lot of work done in this place. It ain’t exactly cosy.” Said the farmer, idly fingering one of the hooks that hung from the ceiling. “Folks might get the wrong impression.”

“Oh Applejack, people know I’m not that sort of pony!” laughed Pinkie Pie, picking up the Carrot Top meat and moving towards the door. “BRB!” The pink pony walked off, leaving Applejack alone in the mini abattoir. Pinkie might be the best darn cook in Ponyville (and as a proud baker herself Applejack did not say that lightly) but she was still getting the hang of being a full-time professional butcher, it seemed.

Applejack decided that this would be a good time to get herself ready, and started to disrobe. Her jacket, shirt and jeans were quickly removed, and AJ put them in a relatively neat pile in the corner of the room, where there wasn’t quite so much blood. By the time Pinkie Pie came back, the orange mare was stark naked in the middle of the room, which neither mare treated as being out of the ordinary. Nor did anyone mention the large stitch mark that run from just above her pubic mound to right beneath her ribcage. AJ walked towards what looked like a medical pulley and sat down on in, Pinkie arriving next to her holding one of the clean kitchen knives.

“So! Any suggestions?” she asked, pointing the sharp blade at various parts of the seated mare’s anatomy.

“Uh, Pinkie, forgetting something?” asked AJ. Pinkie looked at her, confused, before the light bulb went off above her head.

“Oh Celestia, I almost forgot the potions!” she said, dropping the knife and shooting off around the room, opening and closing several cupboard doors. Eventually she found what she was looking for, rushing back holding two bottles in her hands. One, which Applejack was already familiar with, was filled with a bright red liquid. The other, smaller one, which was a mixture of red and white like a strange, exotic cocktail, was new.

“Adding something new in, Pinkie?” asked AJ. Pinkie nodded, smiling, as she uncorked each bottle.

“Zecora says that this one-“she shook the red and white potion in her hand-“stops the bleeding. Like I told you, remember?” Applejack felt slightly relieved. The first potion got rid of the pain and probably made the whole thing doable in the first place, but pain or not, having to deal with all that blood was never pleasant. “Besides, I’ve got enough black pudding now to last for years, haha!”

AJ down each potion one after the other. The first one went down tasting vaguely like tomatoes, which was acceptable if a little strong. The second one, however…

“Blurgh.”

“Oh don’t be a baby, drink up!” After the deed was done, Pinkie picked up her butchers knife again and approached the naked mare.

“Ready to give up those gammon steaks of yours?”

“Pinkie, I ain’t giving up any limbs, we talked about this after the first time.” Said AJ, her arms subconsciously flexing and showing off the impressive musculature structure that lay beneath her fur. The pride she had in her strength was well known to anyone that knew her, so this news shouldn’t have come as any kind of shock to Pinkie. Nevertheless, she continued to try her luck.

“Oh come on, pleeeease? I’ve been practicing my roasts, and your legs would be perfect with some honey-glaze and veggies. Mmm, can’t you just imagine it?” Pinkie took a moment to savor the fantasy of cooking her friend’s legs, a hint of drool appearing at the corner of her mouth. Applejack had to admit that it sounded pretty good, but she shook her head free of the thought.

“Ain’t the point, sugurcube. It’s hard to explain, but just wouldn’t ever feel right getting rid of the old girls. We’ve got a good working relationship.”

“But Rarity could make you ever betterer legs!” countered Pinkie. “And the same for your arms! You’ve seen the kind of prosphetics she’s making, imagine how many trees you could buck with robo-legs!”. She stroked one of the long, thick limbs with her hand, fingers pressing into the flesh, feeling out the muscle. The leg gently, but forcefully repelled the hand away.

“I keep telling you, it’s not the point. Ya get that, right?” said Applejack, imploringly. Pinkie eventually nodded, taking her hand away from the leg.

“Oh Applejack, I’m sorry for trying to pressure you into it. I won’t ask again, Pinkie Promise!” She did the usual ritual to make the promise official, then turned her attention back to Applejack. “But there’s still plenty meat I can take! Hmm…” she wandered around the sitting mare, stroking her chin as she tried to think what she could do with the farmer. Applejack felt like she should feel more nervous about the situation, but she knew she could trust her friend. In fact she had just the very idea what to give, one that now seemed obvious in hindsight.

Reaching down to the stitchmarks that rose in a line vertically along her belly, Applejack started to undo them. The stitches had been left loose for this exact reason, as both she and Pinkie knew when they had been made that sooner or later they’d be back in for more. After some minutes of unthreading, Applejack’s abdomen was now visibly opened, a deep gash going down her stomach with something peeking out from underneath. Pinkie knew exactly where this was going.

“Of course, how could I have overlooked those, of all things!” said the butcher, slapping her forehead with her knife-hand and almost giving herself an accidental lobotomy in the process. “Might as well finish the job, right?”

“That’s about what I was thinking, hon” drawled AJ. Lying down fully on the pulley, she put her hands inside the wound and spread it wide. Pink, fleshy tubes were exposed, sitting in among what looked like other organs, although they had a strange, unnatural look about them, assuming one knew what internal organs were meant to look like-they were shiny without looking organic, firm without seeming as squishy as you might expect. Of course this was not a surprise to either of the mares present. After all, they already knew that the partially disemboweled farmer had artificial organs. Pinkie stuck her face closer, looking at the insides on display.

“Nice to see everything’s in working order!”

“Pinkie, ah think I’d know if my lungs weren’t working right. Or my heart, too.”

“Hehe, fair enough!” chirped Pinkie, before suddenly looking thoughtful. “Heeey, how come you get all sentimental over your limbs but not your heart? That’s like, the most sentimental bit of all!”

“That’s a matter of opinion! I can’t grow attached to bits of me ah’ve never seen before, can I?” said Applejack, which seemed to satisfy her butcherer. Pinkie reached her hands in and scooped out the coils of intestine that lay inside, which at this point were some of the few organic organs left inside AJ.

“It’s like spaghetti! But thicker and pinker.” Observed Pinkie.

“Heh, you really are an expert cook with educated observations like that.” Chuckled AJ, as she watched her friend gut her, carving away the loops of intestine with the knife. After separating one end from the artificial stomach that had been installed after the last session, Pinkie leaned in until he head was almost inside AJ’s torso.

“This might feel funny, so get ready!” she said. Bracing herself, Applejack felt the knife cut something free just behind her butthole. It was as warned a pretty strange feeling, but it hadn’t been too long ago when AJ had temporary not been able to breathe after getting her lungs cut out, so in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t too bad. She sat up after Pinkie had moved away, and seen the tray that was filled with her own entrails. Her abdominal area was now almost completely empty save for two things. There was her spine, white and hard and climbing up into her ribcage. And, hanging out of her wound, there was a small, pink fleshy organ with two white little balls hanging off the sides. AJ cupped it in her hands, drawing the attention of Pinkie.

“Ooh, don’t mind if I do!” said the pink mare, reaching a hand down towards the pink organ. Her face was swiftly met with a protective orange palm.

“Hold yer horses, ah didn’t say you could have this either.” Said Applejack, still cradling her womb with one hand. Pinkie groaned.

“Oh come on, how picky can one girl be! I can’t get your arms, your legs, and now I can’t even get your womb!” she said, waving the knife about in a way that made AJ lean backwards lest she add her nose to Pinkie’s harvest by accident. “Do you know how popular that little bitty bit of you is? Lyra told me it was the best thing she’s ever tasted!”

“Huh. Always thought it’d be kinda rubbery.” Said AJ, giving the womb a tiny squeeze and shuddering a little. “Oooh, better not do that again. In public.” She said quietly. “Still, it’s my womb, and my decision. No deal.”

“I’ll throw in some free piiiiies!”

“Nnnnope.”

“Ok, how about this: Leave the womb, but I just make a quick little cut just below and-“

“Yer not taking mah pussy either Pinkie. I shouldn’t even have to explain why.”

“Awwww…” Applejack stood (or rather, sat) like an immovable pillar of stone against the tides of Pinkie’s pleading, and the latter quickly realised that this was just another of her friend’s weird hang-ups about selling her own body parts for meat. She wasn’t going to judge, though. As AJ had said, it was her body after all.

“Well, if we’re done today I guess we can just go back through and give you your well-earned bits! The you can go over to see Rarity and get some new guts in. Those potions only help you live for so long, remember.“

“Er, yeah, kind of a grim reminder there, Pinkie. Ah won’t forget, promise.” Applejack went to sit up, and then hesitated. “Hold on a second, how many bits are those worth?” asked the farmer, pointing to the tray full of entrails. Pinkie produced a calculator from…somewhere

“Well, let’s see…hmm…well I’d need to weight them first to get the real answer, but from personal experience…” she hammered into the keys of the calculator, face screwing up in thought as she did whatever sums she was doing to arrive at a sum. “About fifty bits?”

“What the-fifty bits?! That’s all?” said Applejack, sitting up and eyeing the pile of guts. “I reckoned it would be near double that!”

“Sorry AJ, it’s just what they’d go for after I turn them into sausages.” replied Pinkie, shrugging apologetically. “I could put apple bits through them and make them a special, but even then…” The two of them looked at each other, arriving at the same conclusion: more meat was required. Applejack looked down and stared at the first thing she could see. So did Pinkie. Again, they seemed to both think the same thing at the same time.

“I suppose…compared to the alternatives…ah could live without these.” Said Applejack eventually, cupping her breasts with her hands. Hers were round and full without being “big”, in the same way that some of her friends were (Rarity was the undisputed queen on that front). Pinkie walked over, tried to hide her clear excitement over the thought of harvesting her friend’s boobs, and failed.

“Oooh, I have just the perfect idea for these!” she said, bringing the flat side of the knife up so that it was lifting the left breast up.

“Are ya gonna stuff them with apples?” asked Applejack, deadpan.

“Wow, how’d you guess?”

“Call it intuition.” There was a few moments pause, with Pinkie still lifting the boob up and down the knife, until eventually it became apparent that this was going to be happening. Whistling another one of her happy little tunes, Pinkie grabbed hold of the mound of fleshy with one hand and began sawing upwards. The razor sharp knife cut through in no time at all, and soon she was holding a severed tit in her hands. She placed it on a workbench and went to work on the other one, giving Applejack no time to change her mind about the process.

Watching it all happen, the orange country mare felt mixed emotions over her debreasting. She knew that Rarity, with her new side business of providing increasingly realistic and always stylish prosthetics, would likely be able to provide some sort of replacement. That mare had been working wonders ever since Pinkie had went into business-heck it seemed more and more ponies were volunteering, and a big reason for that was the assurance of a replacement for whatever limb or other bodypart they chose to butcher. But, as established, Applejack had her sentimental ways. She felt a little sad seeing two special parts of her sitting on a tray like sacks of meat-which is what they were now, basically.

“There, all done!” said Pinkie, wiping her knife clean. “And hey, no blood! That potion worked great!”

“Yup. Heh, I was just talking to Zecora the other day actually. Heard something that might interest you.” Said AJ, getting up and starting the process of dressing herself. “Something ‘bout a “carnivore cuisine contest”, taking place up in Canterlot. Folks from all over Equestria might be showing up. Dragons, Griffins, that kind of crowd.” Pinkie gave out a little gasp, as the dormant but still present competitive streak started to wake. The idea of her work being judged on a national scale excited her greatly.

“Oooh, I’ll have to go check that out with Zecora! Is there a prize?”

“Well…” Said Applejack, who was back in her jeans. “Ah think it was something ‘bout cooking for the princesses?” The farmer went to clasp her bra back on, before looking down at the way the cups hung down limply over two flat, red circles. Shrugging, she dropped the unneeded garment and went to get her shirt on instead. “Might make for a mighty fine evening, at least. Hope there’s a crowd so we can see you do yer thing! Assuming you ain’t cooking us, that is.”

“Heehee, right!” laughed Pinkie, who was now carrying a tray filled with soon to be sausages and two delicious, plump breasts. The two mares disappeared out of the abattoir, shutting the door right behind them. Pinkie had a little spring in her step as she carried her harvest to the kitchens. Now was time for the real fun part. What was better, she wondered: roasted, grilled or fried?

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Later that day, around dinner time, a lone figure made her way inside the farmhouse at Sweet Apple Acres carrying a white box in her arms. When she opened the door, she was greeted with the delicious aroma of Granny Smith’s homemade cooking-it appeared that she had timed her arrival home perfectly. Walking into the dining room, she seen the family sitting down to dinner. There was even a place at the table set for her. She greeted everyone and took her place at the table, seeing her box to one side and opening it. Inside were 4 large, white cupcakes with an orange topping. Vanilla and orange flavoring, Pinkie had said.

"Oh wow, you brought some of Pinkie's famous cupcakes!" said Applebloom, making to grab one before getting a slap on the wrist from Granny.

"Not until after yer supper, Applebloom!"

"Sorry..."

When asked about her day by Granny, Applejack simply told her she had been working for Pinkie, and showed off a nice big bag full of bits as proof.

“Just a bit of extra work before Winter Wrap-Up. Should leave us sitting pretty all season.” She had said, to much nodding and words of approval from all present. She was aware that her brother and sister were studying her careful, no doubt trying to figure out what that work had entailed exactly. It wasn’t until after dinner that Applebloom caught up with her upstairs.

“So, Sis” said the younger sibling, cautiously. “Can’t help but notice that your..well…your chest…” she trailed off a little, but it was obvious what she was referring too. The older Apple sibling just chuckled.

“Heh, guess it’s pretty obvious, huh.” She said. “Truth is, I’m surprised Granny didn’t spot it during dinner.”

“Yeah, I know!” agreed Applebloom. “They’re way bigger now!” It was an exaggeration, but it was definitely noticeable if you had known Applejack before her visit to Pinkie Pie that morning. Applejack looked down and caressed them through the fabric of her shirt, marvelling at how real they felt.

“Now don’t go getting the wrong idea, this ain’t me trying to outdo Rarity or nothing.” She said, matter of factly. “She’s still bigger than me, just so you know. There’s a practical reason behind this.”

“Uh…sure, Applejack.”

“I meant it! I’ll show you tomorrow. Let’s just say it’s gonna be nice having cider on tap, as it were. Hehehe…”

A Routine Royal Visit

The next day, around the evening, Pinkie Pie was behind the counter engaging in the ancient art of haggling.

“Thirty bits” she said, shaking her head. “That’s the best price I can give you. I’m sorry, but I have a business to take care off. I’m not some sort of weird meat charity, you know. Nope, thirty bits, and that’s that.Not a bit less.” The poofy-haired mare crossed her arms and tilted her head up, her blue eyes half-lidded as she stared at her potential customer. Carrot Top thought about it.

“How about….fifteen bits?”

“DEAL!”

Reaching down behind the glass counter, Pinkie fished out something. It was a pair of breasts. The fur had been shaved off, leaving them pink and hairless,although the nipples seemed to have a dark orange tint to them.

“I was wondering who would be the one to lad these! Lucky you!” said Pinkie, juggling the fatty lumps before tossing them into a brown paper bag. “I’m surprised they lasted this long to be honest.” She reached down and removed the little sign that had been placed next to them. It read: “FRESH BREAST MEAT (AJ!!!)”, with a little drawing of three red apples next to it, along with a price. At that moment, the door to the shop opened, and in walked the town’s sole alicorn.

“Oh, hey Pinkie! Hi, Carrot Top!” said the newcomer, who was wearing a light blue shirt and a purple skirt. Pinkie beamed.

“Twilight! I –totally- forgot it was Monday evening!” she said, tossing the bagged meat to Carrot Top and running around to embrace one of her very best friends. “Oooh, I’ve got some things I wanna talk to you about! Let’s go!”

“Haha OK, lead the way! Bye, Carrot Top!” The excitable earth mare led her friend through a door and into the depths of the shop, leaving Carrot standing there herself holding a bag of pony boob. It felt surprisingly heavy-she hadn’t yet worked up the nerve to buy that particular cut before. Heck it had taken her weeks to even try Pinkie’s shop in the first place-meat was never something she was crazy about before, anyway. But it was undeniable that her products were mouth wateringly delicious. Which meant, in turn, that she herself was probably delicious…

Carrot looked inside the bag. It was easy to imagine the parts inside as her own, just cut off and sold to someone as meat. She gulped. No, she wouldn’t ever…then again she would’t have thought about eating pony meat for dinner a month ago,and now here she was, having purchased the Element of Honesty’s severed tits. There wasn’t even a crowd for it! She remembered being in town when Pinkie had appeared to tell everyone that Rarity had donated her arms and legs, back when she was still new at the job. It had been a stampede to the butchers, fuelled as much by curiosity and sheer disbelief as it was by genuine hunger and desire to purchase the unicorn’s meat.

That was then. By now about half the town had donated something, whether it was an arm, a leg, or in some cases the whole lot. Because as it turned out, Rarity had made a little breakthrough of her own when she decided to help her friend out. It turned out the town’s fashionista was very, very good at making prosthetics, and had quickly grasped that if ponies started losing their organic parts, she was in a prime position to make an absolute fortune. After selling her limbs off and then appearing the next day looking just as good as ever, business for both Pinkie and Rarity had never been better. It was a match made in heaven…

“Are you still here?”

“Aaah!”

Carrot was snapped out of her thoughts by a pink head that was poking out of the door that Pinkie had walked down earlier.

“Sorry, store’s closed now! Go give background exposition somewhere else!”

“…what?”

“I said store’s closed! Come back tomorrow, Premium Princess deal starts then! Byyyyeee!”

The door closed again. Carrot decided to leave. After all: she had dinner to cook…

=====================================================================

Down in the basement, Twilight sat on the bench and looked around the room. She wrinkled her nose a little.”

“Pinkie you need to make this place a little friendlier looking.”

“I know, I know! Applejack was saying the same thing yesterday, hehehe.”

“Oh, Applejack was here? I thought she donated parts already?” asked Twilight, casually started to undo her shirt buttons.

“She was! And she did!” answered Pinkie, collecting a series of clear, empty tubs and setting them around near was Twilight was. “But I think she wanted a little more bits, so I chopped a few more bits off. I just sold her boobies to Carrot Top as you came in!”

“Hah, wow, I wish I’d known. Spike really liked Rarity’s breast meat, he’d have loved to have tried AJ’s.”

“Hehe, well I hear Fluttershy’s considering donating something. Maybe then!” Said Pinkie. The purple alicorn sighed ever so slightly at the mention of her pegasus friend’s name as she neatly folded her shirt up and set it down beside herself, before she started to unhook her bra.

“I understand why she’s maybe a little reluctant, but honestly, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve explained to her how harmless this all is.” said Twilight, as she dumped her bra on top of her shirt. Her breasts were full and heavy looking; they were always quick to sell out.

“Well, I mean you can grow parts back, and she can’t really.” Replied Pinkie, as she checked the sharpness of a large cleaver with the tip of her finger. “I’d never force anyone to do this.”

“I suppose so.” Said Twilight. As an alicorn she had certain advantages over normal ponies, such as being able to regenerate from pretty much anything given time and a few healing potions. This was, obviously, extremely good news for Pinkie Pie, as well as the townsponies after they had all had a taste of her. Whether or not having particularly tasty meat counted as an advantage was of course a matter of debate. “Well, let me know if she comes in.” added the princess, as she started removing her skirt.

“Okey-dokey! You all set?” asked Pinkie.

“Just a moment, gotta…” Twilight roughly pulled the loose garment down, revealing a pair of white panties that were very obviously hiding something large between her legs. “Honestly, I should just start coming over naked. Everyone in town’s seen me after getting butchered, it’s not like they’d be seeing anything strange.”

“Hehehe, good point.” Twilight got rid of her underwear, her floppy futa cock springing free. Even flaccid it was a good eight inches or so, a solid piece befitting royalty. There was no comment from either party about this-they had done this many times before, after all. Twilight took a swig of the usual potions Pinkie now provided for her meat-donaters, the ones that would eliminate silly things like “horrible pain” and “lots and lots of blood.”

“OK, ready when you are!” said Twilight, sitting nude on the bench as her friend approached with her cleaver, left arm held out. The dull silver blade did not gleam, nor did it make any cool noises as Pinkie raised it into the air. It was just a normal cleaver that was very sharp, very heavy, and in a strong hand, which is probably why it was able to cleave right through Twilight’s arm right underneath the shoulder as though it was passing through hot butter. The alicorn watched her purple arm fall into the tub prepared for it. The limb that had once been part of her twitched a little before going still, the fingers curling up.

“So how’s business?” she asked, casually, as Pinkie pushed the tub across to Twilight’s right side before moving across. “Oh, you said you had something to ask?”

“I did! And it’s about cooking!” replied Pinkie, lining up her cleaver as Twilight stuck her other arm out. “Applejack told me they were having a cooking contest in Canterlot. Cool, right?” There was a thwacking noise as Pinkie lopped off Twilight’s other arm, leaving the Princess of Friendship with mere stumps just beneath her shoulders. “And…I think the princesses are there?” Pinkie tapped her cleaver to her chin thoughtfully-using the blunt end purely by accident-as she tried to remember what the orange earth mare had told her. For her part, Twilight continued to show zero reaction to this, continuing to smile and chat with her friend.

“Oh yes, I’ve heard of this actually! Princess Celestia mentioned it the last time I was up in Canterlot. Her and Luna are the judges.” She said. “She’s...uh, really looking forward to it.”

“Really? What did she say? And can you lift your leg just a liiiiitle higher? There, perfect!” Pinkie brought the cleaver down on her friend’s thigh-it was much thicker than her arm had been, and Twilight had to raise her voice slightly over the sounds of her leg getting hacked from her body.

“Well she’s kind of a foodie. And her tastes are…well, less sophisticated than you might think.” Said Twilight, recalling the countless cakes, snacks, burgers ect her teacher used to consumed. “I guess raising the sun burned a ton of calories.”

“Sounds like you maybe picked up a few habits from her, Twi…” teased Pinkie, poking her friend in her pleasingly meat-covered sides.

“Hahaha, fair, fair! Anyway, I think she might like your kind of food. Burgers were a particular favourite I think!”

“Well that’s good to hear, haha! I leave the oat cotours to Rarity, and just make the yummiest stuff in town instead!”

“…do you mean Haute Couture?” asked Twilight, looking perturbed for the first time. Incidentally Pinkie had finished removing her leg and was now busy working on the other one.

“Maybe? I also leave the fancy speak to Rarity.” She said, shrugging as she started to thud her cleaver into Twilight’s meat. “What does Luna like?”

“I…don’t actually know. That’s a good question, now that I think about it. I’ve never really sat down and had dinner with her.” said Twilight, rolling her eyes up in thought. “She’s usually asleep when I go see Princess Celestia, you see.”

“Aaaah. Still, thanks for the heads up about Celestia, Twi! Or should I say…thanks for the legup.” Said Pinkie, holding up the now severed purple left leg and waving it about for emphasis. “Get it? The LEG up?”

“Haha, er, yeah, that’s great Pinkie.” Said the now completely limbless Twilight. Well, almost limbless-her large wings were still to be removed, after all. Pinkie laughed and set the leg down with the other removed limbs, before circling round to her friends back. Genty grabbing hold of the wings with one hand, so as not to damage the delicate l she easily severed them from Twilight’s body. The wings were always one of the most popular items in the shop when they were available. Partly due to the taste and partly due to the size.

Placing the wings in with the other limbs, Pinkie put a lid on the tub and pushing it to the side. She would slice the arms and legs into proper cuts of meat later-the hands and feet were usually just put in the trash, but the rest had some good eating on them. As she fetched a new contained, Twilight wobbled a little as she tried to keep her balance on the table, before giving up and lying down on it. Her cock smacked against her belly, and Pinkie absent-mindedly pushed the flaccid flesh out of the way so she could continue to butcher Twilight. Swapping out her cleaver for a smaller knife, she made a rough cut in her friend’s belly and started to scoop out the guts within, dumping them into a fresh tray.

“So…what have you thought to do with the main prize?” asked Twilight, as her lower abdomen was stripped of all of the organs within-the intestines which would go on to be Twilight Sausages, the Kidneys which would go into Twi and Kidney Pie, the bladder which…well no one really wanted to eat that, but Pinkie was usually able to find a buyer for it anyway somehow. Twilight didn’t really care to ask who was buying all her discarded bladders, preferring not to think about it too much.

“Oh…oh wait! I thought the prize was getting to cook for the Royal Sisters!” said Pinkie, with a freshly plucked kidney in each hand. “But if they’re the judges, then we’re cooking for them already, right? So…what is the prize?” Twilight giggled-she went to hold a hand up to her face before realizing that wasn’t an option right now.

“Hehehe, you were close, Pinkie. But you’re not cooking for them-the winner gets to use their meat in their next dish!”

“WHAAAAAA?!” Pinkie’s poofy hair somehow got even poofier as she reacted to that particular bombsell. The pink mare seemed to glow with a radiant, joyful energy. She would get to use what was, without doubt, every chef’s ultimate fantasy ingredients-the Princesses’ meat. Despite being alicorns, there was no record anywhere in history whatsoever of them using their power for cooking purposes, a fact that Pinkie had found literally unbelievable when she had first heard it. It had taken several conversations with both of the Royal Sisters before she had accepted it as true.

“Twilight, I have to win!” she said suddenly, striking a determined pose, fists held high with both of Twilight’s kidneys still held tight within her grasp. “I’ll be the first pony eeeeever to cook them! I’ll go down in history!” She paused. “Plus it would just be like, super duper cool.”

“I know you can win, Pinkie.” said the half-dismembered alicorn lying down on the work surface as Pinkie finally put her kidneys in the tub. “Everyone in towns knows that. And we’d all be more than happy to supply the meat for the contest. Or even let you practice!”

“Really?”

“Sure!” Come over to the castle next time you’re free. The girls and I will have a meeting about it. You’re winning that contest, and that’s that!” Grinning from ear to ear, Pinkie went over and hugged her friend tight, propping her up and wrapping her arms around her truncated form.

“Thanks, Twilight. You’re always my favourite meat to butcher!” Twilight smiled at what was obviously a large compliment.

“Awww, no worries, Pinkie, you know what weeeeee-aaah!”

Twilight blushed as she felt a hand start to pump her cock up and down, causing Pinkie to giggle.

“Hehehe, sorry Twilight! Thought this would be a good time to collect some of your special secret sauce!” Her hands started to move up and down with incredible speed, and Twilight felt her cock hardening up to its full, near foot-long size. Collecting the “secret sauce” was of course just another thing on the list during Twilight’s donation visits. A particularly pleasant one,granted, but it was just business as far as Twilight could tell. She let Pinkie work her own brand of magic as the chipper earth mare threw some ideas at her.

“How about this: mince-meat served in somepony’s head! It’d look like you’re eating their brain, and everyone would be like “Aaaah!” But really you’re just…eating their minced up body out of their own skull…I guess that’s still kind of weird.” She said this all while looking at Twilight like they were at some local café, her hand working the cock in her hand with practised ease as it blurred aroud the bulging mass. Twilight had just enough presence of mind to levitate the jug meant for her cum and hold it up near her soon-to-erupt cock.

“Nnngh…Pinkie…”

“Yeah?” said Pinkie, before decided to swirl her tongue around the tip of Twilight’s dick. Twilight felt something snap inside.

“Get your head out of the way, for the love of-“

The rest was just a wordless mix of syllables as she came. Most of it did end up in the jug at least as Twi levitated it closer to her tip and let herself go, but there was a little loss of sauce on account of a certain mare standing just a little too close to the blast.

“Woopsy!” said Pinkie, wiping her face clean and licking her fingers. “Mmm, sweet as ever, Twilight! Thanks!” Wasting no time, she picked up her cleaver again. “OK, I’ve got clients to feed, so time to get moving! That thing drained?” she asked her friend, grabbing the rapidly softening cock with her spare hand and giving it a few squeezes. A few more drops dripped out into the jug, which had been filled almost entirely with the milky substance.

“Y-yeah…all done…” managed Twilight, who decided to take a breather during the next process. Nodding, Pinkie wasted little time in giving it the chop, cutting her cock off right at the base and tossing it in with the internal organs. Her sack soon followed-Pinkie would extract the individual testicles in time, as they made for a surprisingly delicate treat when prepared right. For now she tossed the fleshy bag into the tub and started to cut out the final delicacy lurking between Twilight’s legs, which was much more visible now that her balls had been removed.

Using a smaller knife, Pinkie started to slice through the meat of her labia (which had also acquired what Rarity may have diplomatically called a “light glazing effect” as a result of Pinkie’s handjob), cutting in deep to free the whole, roughly oval shaped cut. Pussy fillet was always popular no matter who it came from, and Twilight was no exception. Her womb, which had been removed earlier along with the rest of the organs in her belly, was a very versatile piece-it could be stuffed, steamed, roasted, sliced into strips…Pinkie made a mental note to think of ideas for a womb-based piece for the contest.

After she was done with Twilight’s pussy, Pinkie turned her round and massaged her next target in her hands. The rump steak was, of course, indispensable to Pinkie’s business. She grabbed hold of one nicely plump glute and, with the other hand, sliced through the meat with care and precision. When she had first started Pinkie had found this part surprisingly hard, accidentally cutting it too shallow or being too rough on the meat. Now she felt she could do it in her sleep, Repeating the action with the other butt cheek, Pinkie had soon added two prime steak cuts to her harvest. They would have to be properly shaved later on, of course.

“OK, think we’re done down here!” she said, before moving on up to the top of Twilight, who’s bottom half was essentially now just a pelvis attached to a spine with some loose skin still attached. The top still had plenty of meat up for grabs though, starting with the fleshy mounds sticking out of the alicorn’s chest.

“Do you know if there’s anyone famous entering the contest, Twi?” asked Pinkie, as she put the sharp blade of her knife up against the underside of the right-sided boob. Twilight blinked, still recovering from the effects of her orgasm and subsequent loss of her genitals. It was a heady combination alright.

“I’ve not head anything, no. I can’t say I know too much about what sort of chefs might enter, sorry.” She said, straining her neck up so she could see Pinkie sever her tit nearly and place it on the table next to her, the fresh meat wobbling slightly as it was set down.

“Not often you don’t know anything, Twi! But it’s OK. I think it’s probably better not to worry about what others are doing, you know?” said Pinkie, smiling as she sawed her knife back and forth to free the remaining breast. “Let them worry about me, that’s what I say!”

“That’s the spirit! Although I do know that most of the entrants probably won’t be ponies…”

“Huh? Why’s that?”

“Well, meat-dishes are mainly a griffon and dragon kinda thing, you know? It was only after you came back from Griffonstone that it really took off over here.”

“It’s weird to think we went so long without realising how tasty we were, hehe!” said Pinkie, picking up a saw. Twilight winced as Pinkie placed the serrated edge right in between where her breasts had been only a minute or so ago.

“Pinkie, this would be a lot easier if you just let me use my magic.” She said.

“Thanks Twilight, but it’d just feel wrong if I let someone else do the butchering for me. Especially when it’s the one getting butchered. I’ll just be a minute!” Pinkie began to saw firmly and slowly through the tough bone, and Twilight leaned her head back. It’s not that Pinkie sawing through her sternum and cracking open her ribs was painful. It just felt weird, with all the force from the sawing and the vibrations that reverbed around inside of her. It was weirdly quite like going to a concert and feeling that bass throb inside your chest.

After more than a minute of sawing, Pinkie stopped and wiped her brow of sweat. She had cut along all the way up and through Twilight’s collar bone. Dropping the saw, she forced her fingers into the crack and pulled with all her might, producing an incredibly loud cracking noise as Twilight’s ribcage was snapped in two, the two racks sticking up into the air. A loud beating noise could be heard as the contents of the princess’s rib cage were exposed-two lungs slowly inflating then deflating, and behind them, a large heart beating softly, only slightly harder than its usual rhythm. After fully removing the cracked ribs, these organs were swiftly extracted.

“So what exactly does Zecora use these for again?” asked Pinkie, as she lowered the still beating heart into the organ tub. “I bet an alicorn heart must be used to make super cool potions. Like super strength or something! If I had super strength, I’d pick up Griffonstone and move it closer so I don’t have to travel so far to get there. Good thinking, huh? Twilight?” Pinkie looked down at her friend, who was opening and shutting her mouth silently. “Oooh, right. No lungs, hehe. Well, food for thought!”

Pinkie took a few minutes to clean up all the loose meat still remaining on the torso, particularly the slabs of meat on the back that would go towards making Sparkle Bacon (which was a particular favourite of Rainbow Dash’s, for some reason.). That left Twilight as basically just a mute head, which Pinkie removed from her spine with a quick chop of her cleaver. There wasn’t really much meat on a head save for the tongue, which wasn’t one of the more popular slices, so Pinkie usually didn’t bother with it. Still, the skull itself could be sold as a makeshift paperweight, fruitbowl, necromancy ritual display and Nightmare Night decoration, so it was worth selling. But before that, Pinkie had one more cut to make. Holding Twilight’s head down with one hand, she used the saw to cut along the top of her head, going round in a circle just above her horn. When she was done, Pinkie lifted the top off, revealing a glistening pink brain.

“It’s a real shame we don’t know what happens if you cook a brain…” said Pinkie, staring at the brain. While potions and magic had made her line of work possible, eating a ponies brain-the centre of their very being, in essence-was considered too risky. Pinkie loved her job, but she’d never forgive herself if somepony actually died just because she wanted tasty noms, so she had steered clear of doing anything with pony brains. Rarity and Twilight had told her that they were working on a few possible solutions, but as of right now it was a no-go. Pinkie had to resist leaning down and giving the slightly moist-looking lobes a long lick-she wasn’t sure she’d trust herself if she found that she liked the taste, after all.

“Well, just gonna pull you out now, Twi. Did you say Spike was gonna pick you up later?” Twilight’s head blinked once, which meant yes. “Okie dokie then! Talk to you later!” Pinkie grabbed her friend’s brain with two hands and pulled it upwards until the brainstem snapped off. The purple head’s face went slack as the connection was lost. Pinkie put the lump of grey matter down over to the side, away from everything else, and returned to the head. Now that the fun part was over, she’d have to work at removing all the unneeded fur, skin, fat ect before the meat was available for either sale or her own personal cooking. It was tedious work, especially when there was no one to talk to like during the butchering, but it had to be done.

“Well, might as well get started! Oh your meat’s gonna look so yummy when I’m done, Twi!”

====================================================================================

Mrs Cake was humming cheerfully, sweeping some stray confetti off the floor of the bakery (you did that a lot when you lived with Pinkie Pie) when the door opened. She paused, and her head promptly turned around a full one hundred and eighty degrees, making a slight whirring noise as she did so. When she saw who was standing there, she smiled.

“Oh hello, Spike!”

“Hi, Mrs Cake.” Said the teenaged dragon, dressed in his usual black hoodie and jeans and carrying a glass jar filled with a bubbling green liquid under one arm. He was completely unphased at the sight before him, walking in and waving with his free hand. “How’s things?”

“Oh you know, same old! Pinkie has her little business now of course, but the bakery’s still ticking along!” The blue mare’s head swivelled round again and wobbled on her neck for a second. Leaning her broom against a wall, Mrs Cake held her head still and screwed it in tighter. “Ah, excuse me dear, I really need to see Rarity about that…” Spike couldn’t help but laugh-she had been saying that for weeks now, but still had’t gotten round to getting her loose head fixed. It was the only part of her body that was still organic-everything undernearth had been built for her by Rarity. She still had the same plump figure as before her butchering, which was something Spike rather admired. It was nice to know she was comfortable in her skin, even if she was strictly speaking no longer in her skin.

“Aaah, is Twilight in? I didn’t even notice!” said Mrs Cake, as she noticed the jar.

“Yeah, just here to pick her up.”

“Of course, right this way, sweetie.” Said the mare, leading Spike to the door that connected to the back of the store, and therefore the way to Pinkie’s basement. “Of course anyone can tell when her meat’s on sale, there’s a que practically going off around the corner. Tell her Carrot and I were asking for her! And feel free to ask if you want a little treat, you’re practically scale and bones, haha!”

“Sure thing, Mrs Cake, thanks! Maybe later” said Spike, realising exactly what she meant by that. He walked through the door and made his way to the basement. When he knocked on the door, Pinkie answered and beamed at him.

“Hey Spike!”

“Hey Pinkie, all done?”

“Come see for yourself!”

Spike walked in and looked at the main table, which was covered in lovingly crafted cuts of meat. The selection included, but was not limited to, steak cuts of all kinds, bacon rashers, piles of mince rib racks, burgers, two shaved breasts and what looked rather like thinly cut salami slices were piled up invitingly. Most of it would go straight on display to be sold, but some would of course be cooked by Pinkie herself tomorrow and sold as a meal-as the best cook in town, this was something everyone in town waited for with baited breath and hungry stomachs. Even uncooked, the sight of all that gorgeous meat was enough to make the dragon’s stomach rumble. The unneeded parts had been sorted into a bin bag which lay against the wall, still open.

“Looks great as always, Pinkie!” he said as his eyes took in the veritable feast in front ofhim, his forked tongue flicking out and licking his lips. “So where’s Twilight?” he asked, placing the jar down next to a red, roundish organ with two white little balls attached-her womb, surely.

“Haha, silly, can’t you see her? She’s right there!” said Pinkie, pointing to the place she had put Twilight earlier. She looked again. The space was just that-empty space, devoid of anything resembling a pony’s brain. She blinked.

“Huh. Well, she was there…” she said slowly, as Spike stared at her.”Well, she’s here somewhere, haha!” The two began to search the room, trying not to panic too obviously. A range of nightmare scenarios flashed through Spike’s mind-a brain sliced into chunks or ground into mince. He checked the meat grinder, heart beating in his chest, but there was nothing there. Suddenly though, Pinkie gasped behind her.

“Twilight, get away from there!”

The dragon spun round and seen Pinkie leaning into the bin bag and plucking out a grey-pinkish blob. “I could have ended up throwing you out into the garbage!” She wagged a finger at the little brain before walking over to the jar, depositing her inside the green liquid within. She floated lazily to the top, bubbling gently.

“Sorry about that, Spike, I swear I only took my eye off of her for a minute!” said Pinkie, looking genuinely guilty.

“No harm, no foul, it’s fine. Honest!” said Spike, reassuringly. Still, he couldn’t stop Pinkie from insisting on giving him a free cut of his choice for free, and he ended up getting a rack of ribs placed in a brown bag for him.

“You sure you don’t wanna make a donation of your own, Spike?” asked Pinkie, stroking his arm through the fabric of the hoodie. “I’d loooove to try cooking dragon meat, I’m sure you’d be delicious!”

“Heh, thanks, but I’m still kinda on the fence about it. Plus I think Rarity said she’s not really sure about working with dragon bodies.” Said Spike. “Like, there’s some stuff I can do that ponies can’t, like sending letters, and figuring out the tech for replicating that…”

“Aaaah, I getcha.” Said Pinkie, nodding. “Well I won’t force you into anything, Spikey!” She paused. “But I know Rarity’d love to get her hands on that cute hide of yours…” she pinched his cheek for emphasis as she said this, making Spike laugh, embarrassed.

“I know, I know! Maybe one day.” He said. If there was any way to make him change his stance on this, it was through Rarity, and Pinkie probably knew this. But as much as he loved Rarity, he wasn’t sure he was at the point where he’d let her skin him. Yet…

Saying his goodbye’s for now, Spike left the store with a jarred brain in one arm and a bag containing Twilight’s ribs and some cupcakes in the other (Mrs Cake also would not take no for an answer regarding free treats.) Twilight would take about 3 or 4 days to fully regenerate, but for now she would be kept in a special jar in her castle lab that let her do things like talk, see, hear and so on, before being moved to a bigger container when her body started to properly regrow. This had been her routine now for months, and was beginning to seem completely normal. Just like life in Ponyville since Pinkie’s new trade, really, thought Spike, and he smiled at that. Now it was home to do the remaining errands, read some comics, and of course…dinner.

Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was already thinking about the future. Tomorrow she would go visit Twilight and talk to the girls about the contest. As she cleaned up her basement, ideas began to formulate. The question was...who to practice with? And who to keep for the contest itself? She had a whole town to pick from-at least, those who still had meat to give. Decisions, decisions...

Author's Note

I appreciate that this cooking story has featured zero actual eating scenes yet. Don't worry, they're coming!