Grand Theft Cookie Jar

by Scout Feather

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4226

In the middle of the night, nestled in the safety of his own bed, a little colt can't sleep. What else is there to do, but get a midnight snack?

Heart Afire is a young colt and a future Fire Mage to-be. His parents are the Prince and Princess of a faraway land, who love and nurture their son every way they can.

One night, swaddled in blankets and his pajamas, Heart gets a tummy ache. The journey to the castle Kitchens is a long way away, and for such a young colt a potentially terrifying concept.

Will he ever make it?

A Free Commission for Hopanio

Published 2017-11-09 06:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-09 06:40:07 UTC

A Little Colt's Grand Adventure

The air in the castle at night was cold and breezy. Old castles, with all their dusty nooks and crannies, were prone to be full of holes just perfect enough for air to breathe through. Such is why Heart Afire, colt and Fire Mage to-be, was bundled up in several layers of blankets. After all, one could not be a very good Fire Mage if one had cold hooves. Such was the logic of a small colt, and this logic seemed plenty sound to him.

Though he was swaddled in blankets, warm and toasty from the fire, Heart couldn’t sleep. Sure, his hooves and body were warm, with just his nose poking out from four or five blankets--Momma had insisted two was enough, but little colts want what little colts want, so as his Papa had said---but something was amiss. Before Heart could ponder this quandary, his answer came in the form of a rumbling tummy. He was hungry, that must be it! Yet, as much as the solving of a great mystery pleased him, it did little to solve the actual problem. Step one of a good detective is to find the problem or missing object by searching for clues. Step two is to actually solve it! he recalled from an old detective handbook his Papa had given him for Hearth’s Warming a few years back, along with a little magnifying glass.

In his mind, Heart made made a mental checklist. Okay, so I know the problem: I’m hungry! But how do I get food? He instinctively thought of calling for his Momma, but it was late and the day had been so long. His poor parents were probably fast asleep! Heart didn’t want to wake them, so his busy mind went ahead thinking of Plan B. Okay, so Momma is asleep. So where can I get food? The kitchen, of course! He grinned at his cleverness, knowing his parents would be proud.

He started to sit up, slowly letting his body adjust to the cool climate of the rest of the room. He shivered, thankful for the bright red hoofie pajamas that covered everywhere from the neck down, including little white pads on the bottom of his hooves. Okay, he thought, I can do this! There are cookies in the kitchen, high up on the shelf! He licked his lips at the thought of sweet, chocolate-chip cookies that the chef made. They were the best! He knew they kept them high on a shelf, where naughty little colts couldn’t reach them. Thankfully, Heart was not a naughty colt, and knew there was a surefire way of getting them down! He just hadn’t the foggiest idea of how.

Heart wiggled out of his blanket cocoon with a bit of a grunt. He hadn’t considered that without his Momma there to tuck him in, the weight of the blankets made escape rather difficult! But such challenges were small obstacles in the adventure that would come! Crawling off the bed, not without some effort on his part due to the size and having to pull himself down off the side, Heart plodded over to the large glass enclosure that housed a small salamander snoozing on a log. Heart scooped out Thyrion, who yawned and gave him a grumpy look.

“Sorry, buddy!” He apologetically smiled to his friend. “But it’s adventure time! I need you with me on this one. We’re getting cookies!” He placed the lizard on his back, nestled between his shoulderblades, and scurried to the door. The doors of their enormous castle were big and old, making opening them a troublesome task, though they were little match for fearless Sir Heart, and after two or three attempts at jumping for the large clasp halfway up the door, Heart had it opened, and peered through the crack like it was the doorway to a forbidden dungeon.

The dark hallway was illuminated only by a window far down at the end, where moonlight poured in. Shadows creeped in every corner, while the sounds of faraway guards on patrol and timid mice amplified tenfold. It was a terrifying prospect to lesser colts, and even he showed hesitation through his gallant and noble expression. With a light shiver, the cause of which he blamed on a breeze, and his lizard on his back, Heart stormed out of the room in a rapid flash of orange fur.! Any monsters or bad ponies waiting in the immediate vicinity where henceforth frightened out of their horseshoes, fleeing immediately--that, or there wasn’t any to begin with, but any valiant Knight worth his horn would choose the former tale, surely.

Trotting quickly, his steps muffled by the soft white padding underhoof, Heart journeyed through the dangerous corridors of Upper Floor, past the mountain range of Guest Wing, avoiding the frigid cold tundra of Outside Balcony, the latter not without thoughts of distaste. His adventure, while short, was fraught with risks. For one, should a guardspony find him, he would be dragged back to the safety of Bedroomshire, no matter how much he squealed and pleaded. If that happened his adventure would be over before it had even started, and he would go to bed on an empty stomach. Hence, it was determination that fueled Heart’s quest, the urgency of his tummy rumbles the motivation he needed to carry on, even as his eyelids grew heavy.

Next stop was The Terrible Stairs of Doom. Heart knew this land well. Once, when he was barely five, he had slipped at the top of the stairs and tumbled down nearly ten steps before his Papa caught him. No amount of kisses could bring back how much that sting, particularly to his pride. Another time, caught up in a race with Thryion on the main floor, Heart had slid past one of the servants carrying a cake, and trying to avoid disaster, careened into the foot of the stairs, bumbing his chin. That had left a nasty scratch which he’d cried about for hours.

Today, however, was a new day for Heroic Heart the Helpful. He was no little colt anymore. No, Heart was a grown-up six year-old, a big colt, and one that could do things on his own! With nary a shaking hoof, except perhaps a quivering lip, Heart took his first step, clinging to the sides of the staircase. So far so good He reassured himself, taking deep breathes with every extra step he took. One by one, moving faster and faster, he made his way to the main levels. It was dark, and therefore hard to see the edge of the steps clearly. The soft underpadding on his hooves cushioned him from the cold, hard stone as his little hooves clambered down, step after step. It must have been ages before all four hooves were planted on the bottom floor below. Forgetting the silent nature of his mission for a moment, Heart cheered; slayed was the mighty stair-beast and Courageous Sir Heart was victorious! Poor Thyrion, once again woken from his lazy slumber, had to hold on for dear life as his master hopped about.

The victory was only momentary. For all his accomplishments, Heart still had a Grand Quest yet unfinished. Even Intrepid Heroes need snacks at night, after all. With Lizard securely on his back, Heart set his sights on the kitchen, far away in another corner of the castle. There was still a mighty adventure left ahead, but it was all that waited between him and his treasure. Onward he hastened, like a steed rushing to battle, neigh, to glory! Heart puffed out his chest, picked up speed, and promptly tripped over a rug that had been lifted in the corner, like a landmine waiting for its prey.

Heart flipped, spun and careened through the air, like a fallen star shooting across the sky, a husk of its former glory. He landed in a heap some feet away, his head spinning around him. He was thankfully intact, but not without a few owies. His first impulse was to cry, wailing like a foal for his mother to come to his aide, but he pushed the thought away. Heart was no mere foal any longer, he was big and grown, just like Momma had said. Crying and owies were for little foals.

Wiping away sullen tears, the little colt sniffled and fought back the urge to sob. He was big and strong, like his Papa, and he could do what it took to finish his quest! Standing on four shakey hooves, panting for breath thanks to being winded by the floor, he stood tall and proud. The upturned corner of the rug was but another foe that lay waste to his heroism.

With newfound energy, he continued through the dark corridor. Every few meters a torch scone hung high up on the wall, too high for the colt to reach. Though he had tried, his magical training hadn't quite reached the point where he could lift objects from far away, and not particularly big ones. A toy or a crayon perhaps, but not something like that. He still had a lot to learn, or so his teacher told him. To which, of course, little Heart always responded with a little bit of attitude, for he was eager to know everything Right now, not later. Do not think that such things might allude to the idea that Heart Afire, Self-Proclaimed Knight and Mage-to-be, was not a colt of patience. On the contrary, he once waited three whole hours before bugging his parents on the morning of Hearth's Warming. Who would do that, but a colt of great patience and maturity? In fact, he seemed to recall barely even peeking at his presents. Barely.

Down the corridor the Hero did trod, the fire in his eyes matching that of his heart. A lesser knight might have turned tail and run by this point, but Heart was strong. He traversed twists and turns of the mighty castle labyrinth, relying on memory alone to take him to his destination. It didn't help that the dark had slowed his pace considerably, forcing him to walk at a snail's pace rather than the blur of energy he normally was.

It had felt like hours of wandering in the eyes of youth, when in reality it had barely been moments. Heart turned down the final corridor and was faced with the grand archway of the dining hall. He knew that place was rife with guards on patrol, but it was no matter: the kitchen had a back way. Slipping down a narrow hall just off to his left that was mostly used for servants, he found himself face to face with the great big door that lead to the kitchen.

That was it! He did a silent hurrah, but this time considerably more conscious of those that might be nearby. Taking great caution, he pushed it open and peered inside. His eyes were opened to the size of dinner plates, thankful that the great big fireplace used for cooking had been left to burn away of its own accord. It gave Heart the light he needed as he made his way across the kitchens to the far wall where, as if standing in a beacon of light and glory, sat the cookie jar, just ripe for taking. Yet, he still had but one more obstacle. How would a small colt ever make it all the way up that high shelf?

Sitting on his tush, Heart pondered this new predicament. The kitchen was large and open, the counters much too high for him to reach. He could try a run-and-jump at one of the parts with lots of drawers, but that would make a lot of noise at best, and he’d probably fall and hurt himself at worst. No, there had to be a better way!

Once, when his parents had spent all day in important meetings of governance, Heart had wandered into the this part of the castle, looking for something to do. The head chef, Miss Onion Sprout, was a friendly older mare who delighted in the prospect of a young member of royalty taking interest in the hard work the kitchens did, and spent the afternoon showing Heart how to cook and clean the dishes. As Heart recalled, she had pulled out a little step stool that the staff used to reach high places, so that Heart could reach the counter.

The colt glanced around the dimly lit room, eyes wandering from the cabinets and shelves to a storage closet Heart knew was brimming with all sorts of cleaning bottles and supplies. Trotting over, he pulled the small door much the same way he had done with his bedroom door, except this time casting it wide open rather than just a crack. Being the big colt that he was, he knew better than to expect Monsters lurking in scary closets. There was, after all, a considerable chance that such rapid movements would scare one away anyhow.

With the hidden secrets of the closet laid open before him, his gaze shifted amongst each object in his search for the mighty step stool of legend. In his haste, Heart hadn’t stopped to ensure that the closet was devoid of other inhabitants. His eyes wandered onto the unwelcome sight of a large rat peering up at him from behind a bucket. Realizing it had been spotted, the rat quickly scurried away off into the dark corners of the closet and presumably some hole in the wall it had made.

The colt shrieked, turning tail so quickly he nearly lost his balance, only to recover it upon his retreat with a few slips and slides across the smooth stone floor. He hurtled himself in his panic across the room, bumping into the table and cowering in its shadow with a pathetic whimper. Serpents and beasts were one thing, but rats were the most horrifying things his mind could think of!

It took a good deal of deep breaths and calming thoughts of being noble and brave to relax his nerves before he even considered poking his head out from under the table. He reassured himself that the beast was, in fact, long gone even after he took a shaky step out from under his hiding place. Thyrion had all but woken up, rustling about on his back and giving a mutter. He began to talk himself through his new problem. Alright, let's just relax. I'm still in one piece! What would a knight do? Slay the beast, right? He grinned to himself. Finally, a real challenge!

Donning a bucket on his head for protection and clutching a broom handle like a spear, Heart advanced on the door. Both items had been cast to the wayside along with a number of other things in the initial confusion of his mad dash; he had left quite the clutter of brooms, buckets, bottles and things scattered about. It was no matter, for such concerns were of little importance to Heart the Beastslayer.

With a weary step he advanced on the door, zoning in and cutting off all potential exits. Anxiety once again rose up through him, triggering a fight or flight response, but Heart Afire knew what it was he had to do. He stood his ground and bolted right inside the dark alcove, as fast as he could possibly muster. Head snapping from side to side, he looked at his surroundings as fast as he could. There, in the corner, was the stool! Dropping his broomhandle, he stared firmly at his prize, eyes narrowing and, mind concentrating. His horn flicked, sparked, and came to life, illuminating magical aura that encompassed the whole entirety of the stool.! His magic wasn't powerful enough to pick it up on its own, but he was able to drag it across the floor, though unfortunately not without a good bit of noise.

Free of the deathly clutches of the scary closet, Heart dropped the stool and triumphantly nudged the door shut. With another victory under his belt, he did a giddy little dance, wiggling his forehooves and kicking out his haunches into the air.

"Yippee!" Heart cheered, perhaps louder than he should have, gleefully dragging his little wooden stool to one of the counters. It was a small and worn-out old thing, with three steps and some rough looking purple carpet on each one. It had probably been around for ages! Even perhaps his own father's time, whatever amount of eons ago that had been.

With great care so as not to slip--one must always be cautious around one of the stair-serpents minions--Heart climbed on top. The distance from the top step to the countertop was just enough so as to allow a colt of his stature to reach the counter to help out with little difficulty, but climbing on top was another task altogether. He hooked his forelegs around the washbasin and hoisted himself up, groaning from the physical exertion of trying to pull his bodyweight along with him. Extending a hind leg, he pulled himself up sideways, just barely reaching over the top. His hooves started to shake as he struggled, feeling his strength start to give.

His hind hoof made contact with the surface of the counter and found purchase. Heart was able to use this new leverage to hoist the rest of his body up. Once a lowly ground pony without wings or a sky to fly around in, he now saw his world in a completely different perspective. He could see the whole room from here! He found himself gazing in awe across the two rows of stacked pots and dishes neatly placed against the wall, or the forgotten scraps of bread from someone's snack.

The cookie jar sat on a higher shelf just adjacent to the wall he was standing near. Careful to avoid the pots, pans and dishes left on the counter to dry, Heart skipped down the edge of the counter and sat in front of the higher shelving, eyes alight with the greed of a treasure hunter who'd finally found his bounty. He was so close he could practically taste the cookies.

His horn lit up, partially illuminating the room with a faint glow. With his tongue hanging out of his mouth in concentration, he focused his energy on the jar. The aura surrounded it, and he felt the jar budge, shifting in its place, jiggling the contents inside. His tummy growled out of the necessity for food, which only served to put pressure on the urgency of the task at hand. The jar jiggled some more and moved forward a couple inches. He desperately tried to pick it up, to move it into the air.

"Nnnng...!" He grunted, eyes screwing shut as his head pounded. The voice of his instructor telling him he wasn't ready to be a mage echoed through his head. I am ready! I'm a big colt and I can do anything! He repeated over and over again, pushing himself to his limit. To his disbelief, he felt some give as the jar actually floated into the air. It wobbled and teetered to one side, it's lid falling off and crashing to the countertop. Heart was too focused to care, moving the small jar to the right, trying to bring it off the shelf but found himself unable to move it more than a few inches. Disappointment and exhaustion began to set in, before another clever idea came to mind.

Moving the cookie jar forward, he let it tilt to the side, three or four cookies spilling out onto the countertop next to the lid. He had done it! Goal completed, he dropped the jar, which landed with a 'thud' onto the shelf, but with no harm or damage. While his cookies were broken apart and scattered around, Heart was happy.

He scooped them all together into a neat pile with his hooves and stared at the fruit of his labour. It might as well have been solid gold in his eyes, and for all he cared it was the same thing. The hungry colt licked his lips, picked out the biggest fragment he could find, and leaned in to take a bite.

"Heart, just what do you think you're doing?" A dumbfounded and sleepy Prince Nova blinked at his young son, then looked around the room with an exasperated sigh. On one side of the room, the closet's contents had been spilled out everywhere, a few bottles leaking into pools of various colours. On the other side, Heart was sitting on the counter surrounded by cookie crumbs and a half-spilled jar was hanging precariously off the edge of the shelf above him.

"Erm...I was hungry! And everyone was asleep!" The colt protested to stern fatherly looks of disappointment. He was about to protest further, when his train of thought came to a skidding halt. "Wait a minute, why are you up, Papa?" Heart blinked with innocent eyes at the stallion, who, having been caught in a secret of his own, began frantically searching for an excuse.

"Well, I...you see...being a Prince..." he stopped stammering and suddenly cracked a laugh. "I guess we were both hungry, huh little guy?" He smiled and draped a cozy wing around his colt, sneaking away two of the cookies despite a pouty whine from their unwilling benefactor.

"Dad tax!" He winked and ruffled his son's mane. "Don't tell Momma and I won't. Deal?" He looked his colt in the eyes with all the seriousness of a wise ruler. "Because your mother will kill me if she finds out I've been breaking my diet."

The pair enjoyed their midnight snack with enthusiasm. The castle kitchens really did make the best cookies in the world, after all. In most of Heart's adventures, the hero returns home solitary after his long journey, but this time, after licking the crumbs from his muzzle and helping his Papa clean up his mess, Heart rode home on his father's back instead, clinging to his fur with a sleepy yawn. He no longer had to fear the dangers of stairs, dark corners or the guardspony spies when he was in the safe proximity of his Papa.

Much to Heart's surprise, however, they didn't stop at the colt's bedroom, instead continuing down the hall to the large bedroom at the end. Heart quirked his head and glanced around, wondering if his Papa had made a mistake. As if hearing his thoughts, Nova reassured him.

"Figured you'd like sleeping with Momma and I after your big adventure. I know how fussy you are about naps." He flashed a smile as they crept in, walking on tiptoes and closing the creaky oak door with care.

Heart's Parents had a big room. Heart would even say enormous by some standards! The bed was easily fives times the size of his own, layered with decadent silk and cotton sheets and blankets. Their was all to few in Heart's mind, but he was too tired to object. At least they had plenty of pillows, perfect for lazy afternoon snuggles with his Momma when she read to him, or making pillow forts with his Papa.

Even though the room was larger by far, they had no toys or playroom to speak of. He often wondered what adults did for fun. Did they ever have fun? Where Heart's walls were decorated with various heroes of his, Wonderbolts, and pictures depicting epic tales of his stories, the walls of his Parent's room were mostly barren.

The big purple curtain had been drawn over a large window that illuminated every corner of the room even on a cloudy day. Heart had many fond memories here of watching sunsets before bed, or gazing with forlorn misery as his plans for playing outside became ruined by an unexpected thunderstorm. In his young mind, his Parent's room was the safest place in the whole world.

There was little time for reflection as the squirmy colt was picked up, lifted into the air by a careful muzzle, and plopped down into the middle of the bed. As if sensing his presence, his Momma turned over and cuddled him to her side while Nova climbed in behind him. Thyrion must have scampered away to find a cozy spot next to the fire, because when Heart turned around to find him, he was gone. A soft hoof stroked the little colt's back soothingly., his parents trying to persuade him to sleep.

"Shh, little Heart. It's time to sleep. You and Thyrion can play in the morning." Nova persuaded. His Momma nuzzled the back of his head in her sleepy, half-awake state, muttering something incoherent that probably amounted to the same sentiment. A feeling of security and safety washed over Heart as he emitted a sleepy yawn.

"Yeah. G'night, Papa." Heart rustled and wiggled until he found himself in a comfy position, hooves firmly tucked under the covers.

His adventure was over, and the little Knight had succeeded. Just like in his stories, the good guys always win. Except this time, when the quest was over, he still had a cozy bed and two loving parents to come back to--and that was the greatest treasure of all.