Gummy Gator’s Log, June 13th, 2015.
It is a day of love, a day of joy, a day of life. Yet it is a day of danger, panic, and doom. The Wedding between the donkey couple Cranky Doodle and Matilda has been threatened with a doom few realize would have ruined all that we hold dear. A Bugbear attack as forces my care taker, the pink one Ms.Pinkie Pie, into a battle of her life. Few have bore witness as the last minuet preparations to make this wedding a success consumes the thoughts of these equine minds. What part do I have to play in this role? What is my purpose? The answer is a silent observer in all things. A Chronicler of the untold tales of history. A Witness that few will know of how all this came to be. It is a role I have taken upon myself since I was hatched. Through this I have taken time to reflect on what has come before. And the many questions that arise.
I don’t know how or why I came to be in hooves of my care taker, though she pretends to understand, she is ignorant of my true thoughts. Perhaps it is for the best. In her youthful zeal, she a had fed me sweets, foreign substances my body could not withstand. The lost of teeth was a price to pay hence the name my care taker gave to me. Yet...though unknown means, perhaps unaware of it, the confections forced into my system opened my eyes and mind to things I was not prepared for. The realization of existence itself. Everyday I see & hear eternity, frozen in moments in awe of it’s infinite wonder. And so many questions fill my mind. Speculation in the questions few dare to ask and fear the answer we may get.
Some are small in nature. Why is one stallion in need of tailoring skills, when all of our kind hardly wear clothing? Why is the gray mare so easily distractions? How do her eyes functions in such matter going in different directions? How did this Bugbear escape Tartarus to begin with? What evil unknown to my care taker & her companions slipped away from their vigil? How jaded are these ponies if they do not fear the twin space bears and hydras that live just beyond the forest?
I sometimes admire my ignorant care taker, perhaps ignorance is bliss, to not be tormented by these questions that float in my mind like bubbles of soda. Yet...the young princess has a thirst for knowledge like my own, unaware of how it will never be quenched. Yet I dread for her if it were to be. There was a time when I felt something stir inside me when I gazed upon her wet beauty as she tried in desperation to remove the mud & filth from her coat. A pause, a reprieve, a desire in my heart. Tragically this gator knows full that we are not meant be. For her fate lies beyond a place I can not go. Her own heart will belong to another. Love is enough to make your mind wonder. What is Love? Is it a desire for a mate of close nature? Is it merely a deep companionship? Is Love merely the quest for acknowledgment that we are important? What of those who do not peruse love? How is it that love is so simple children can understand, yet adults struggle to? How is it that time can make one less wise in such a mater? Perhaps it a lie that is really cake.
Is this wedding truly important? What purpose does a wedding serve if the bond of love is already made and true? Does the sea serpent know the pain and lies he spread? What other meaning could these pressures and compulsions have beyond pushing others into spending needless money? Should these acts be done out of their desire to see this marriage come to be? Do ponies not know that such efforts to make what is already known official a pointless gesture? Is it because they are seeking perfection? What is perfection? Can it truly be obtained through unnecessary hard work? Would it not be simpler to work smarter? More and more questions flood my mind in ways unimagined by others.
What is it about weddings that seem to draw the attention of trouble? First is the Changelings, then it is a bugbear. What will come next? Will it be a greater threat? Or will it be a minor inconvenience? Is good and evil truly black and white? Or is merely 50 shades gray? What twisted mind would find enjoyment of such a book? One thought leads to another, one questions raises more. Even answers raises further questions to be answered. Did I leave a hot pocket in the microwave? Are we truly ready to open that door to see if it is in there?
As I see more and more ponies run frantically through out the town...I often wish my life was as simple as theirs. Yet I also ache for them, the struggles they endure is perhaps no different from my own destiny. If it is truly my own to being with. This is not the first nor will it be the last of the insanity that plagues this town. Their fates are sealed as they obtained a cutie mark. Yet what does that mean truly for them? What does that mean for others like myself? Am I doomed to never know what my calling in life is? I’ve bore witness to parasprite invasions, I have seen a rock farm flourish. I have seen sonic rainbooms, parties so many parties and more. Why do we celebrate a birthday? Day in which the main focus, the honored guest does not even recall? If we do not celebrate this event does that mean it never happened? Do we not exist? Do we not age? Are we really alive? Or are we just some cartoon meant to compel children and girls to buy toys of us? I have seen so many things and yet I ask the question. To see eternity in all of it’s wonder has made me both wise and ignorant in every way and more.
My care taker perhaps is wiser than I’m lead to believe. Though she may never realize as to how much. In the ensuing chaos I now witness ponies flying not by wings but sheer momentum as their caravan of guests spiral out of control yet through forces beyond understanding they will reach the wedding and all will sort itself out. For theirs is a life of a new beginning. New questions will be asked and their life, will it ever truly live?
What is life? Is it nothing more than the endless search for a cutie mark? And what is a cutie mark but a constant reminder that we're all only one bugbear attack away from oblivion? And what of the poor gator? Flank forever blank, destined to an existential swim down the river of life to... an unknowable destiny?
The day has concluded and so I retire from the window to the outside world and perhaps my very soul. My care taker returns, exhausted, yet victorious in her struggle with death. Despite her lack of energy that many believe to be unending she tends to my needs of sustenance. Now long wiser that sweets are not for the likes of me. I am thanked for a job she assigned to me despite knowing full well my existence is incapable of defending our home and business away from unforeseen threats. The young ones are put to bed. A happy couple is united officially confirming what was in their hearts. Answers are given. The Bugbear is defeated and for a time a reprieve is made. I’m taken to her bed soon to retire for the night. Though no respite from these infinite questions is in view, the burden is lessened as answers in my gator mind come to me. Rest now my pink care taker, for tomorrow will be another step towards our fate. A door of chance will open as another closes. One chapter ends as another begins.
As I have said, my care taker knows not the importance of her role to me. For she is my anchor in the sea of infinity. I am helpless to truly comfort her in times of trouble yet she aids me with her acts of kindness. She may never know and so pretends to understand my thoughts. Yet there is one thing she says to me, many times, and it is brought me back from total madness. “I love you Gummy.” these four words she has said many times, and every time I know these words to be true. I am loved & cared for. This very simple truth as given me more comfort that either of us will ever know. Knowing these questions may never be answered nor is there a need for them to be. As I rest in her hooves, I am at peace. Thank you my care taker. Though you may never know much, I do love you as well.