MLP – Misadventures of Friendship
Love
*Derpy is seen flying through the clouds toward Canterlot. With a mail satchel at her side, she flies to the patio of Princess Celestia’s study. She gracefully lands and places her satchel on the ground with a light thud. This is her last stop on her mail delivery; nevertheless, it is the most important. The letters that go through her to the Princess are the letters that the Mayor sends out and are the daily reports of the town of Ponyville’s status. Though it is the most important, Derpy loves this stop the most, for the Princess is always so nice and loves to talk to her. She sifts through her satchel with her derped eyes searching for the mail to give her. Then she remembers that the rest of the mail in her satchel IS the mail for Princess Celestia. She picks up the letters in her mouth and walks toward the entrance of the study. But before she could get through, she runs into an invisible wall!*
Derpy: (>.<) *Shaking her head* When did this get here?
*Derpy rubs a hoof on the invisible wall. With all her might she tried to think of a reason for why there was an invisible wall here.*
Derpy: *confuzled* Hmm, I have never been blocked out before… what if Princess Celestia is studying for exams! I don’t want to disturb her… no, but she doesn’t go to school anymore… did she ever go to school? Wait, maybe she’s napping… I love naps! Especially on clouds! Those things are the fluffiest things in the world! *yawning* I’m getting tired just thinking about them… well… maybe… a little one won’t hurt… *laying down and resting her head on her hooves, with the letter still in her teeth*
*Derpy was about to doze off when Princess Celestia burst out and opened the “invisible wall” which was just a window.*
Princess Celestia: DITZY!
Derpy: WAH!
*Derpy shot up and hit her head on the roof of the patio. When she had yelped the, letter dropped from her mouth onto the floor. She landed on her bottom rough and her eyes were looking more derpy than before. She shut her eyes tight and rubbed her head.*
Derpy: (>.<) Ohhhh, that hurt
Princess Celestia: (^.^) Haha, how are you today Ditzy Doo?
Derpy: Oh, I’m fine Princess. I’m just here to deliver my letter… MY LETTER!
*Derpy spun around a few times, looking at the ground, but they were nowhere to be seen! Derpy was sweating. How could she have lost the most important letters of all! They were in her mouth just a second ago! Then Derpy had a revelation*
Derpy: *Looking cross eyed at her mouth* I musta swallowed them! Oh no, oh no, oh no.
*Derpy was running around in circles, frantically trying to see down her throat to see if she swallowed them. She was about to put her hoof down her throat when Princess Celestia started to giggle. She stopped and looked up at the Princess, who was starting to get a bad case of the chuckles.*
Derpy: *A little frustrated* This is no laughing matter! Come on Princess, I could get… letter poisoning!
Princess Celestia: (^.^) haha, just check BEHIND you *giggle*
Derpy: *thinking for a few seconds, ok, maybe for like 20 seconds* Hmm… behind me… but the sky is behind m- OH WAIT!
*Derpy looked at her butt and there they were, stuck to her bottom like Mrs. Cake’s cotton candy on the mouth of a little filly. Derpy blushes and knocks them off with her wings. Gathering them up in her mouth again, the two equines walk through the window into her study*
Derpy: *walking in stride with the Princess* No offense, but your puns are the worst.
Princess Celestia: Hehe, to be honest, that isn’t the first time I’ve heard that.
Derpy: (xD) I can believe that... I mean, whatever makes you happy Princess.
*They had finally gotten to the fireplace and Princess Celestia’s favorite cushion. The Princess stamped on it a few times, and relaxed on top of the cushion, for she knew she would be there for quite some time. Even though she really didn’t have time for it, the Princess always loved talking to Ditzy Doo for she had a great gift. The gift of story telling.*
Princess Celestia: Oh Ditzy, you know you don’t have to be so formal with me.
Derpy: *putting the letters down in front of the Princess and thoughtful* Sometimes I wonder… if I can be friends with royalty!
Princess Celestia: *chuckling* So Derpy, anything exciting happen with your friends today?
Derpy: OH! You would not believe what happened on my way to Sweet Apple Acres…
…
*Derpy was making her morning routes back during this morning. She loved being the mailmare of Ponyville because everyone there was friendly. She especially loved going to Sweet Apple Acres because the Apple family were always willing to give an apple or two to their favorite mail pegasi. And the apples they grew there were the sweetest and tastiest of them all. Derpy’s mouth was watering as she flew closer to the big plot of land. She was about to descend on the property when she heard a whisper.*
???: *low whisper* Psst, Derpy!
Derpy: *looking around* Huh? Who’s there?
???: *low whisper* Derpy!
Derpy: (O^O) Mom, is that you?
???: Wha…? N-
Derpy: *looking up* Mom, how is it in the afterlife? I bet the clouds there are so fluffy…
???: *louder whisper* Derpy! Down here!
*Derpy looked down to see Carrot Top waving from a bush just outside the Sweet Apple Acres fence. Carrot Top was sitting on her plot and facing the farm. She motioned frantically for Derpy to come toward her. Derpy instantly smiled and flew down to join her.*
Derpy: *flying down* (^.^) Hi Carrot Top! You wouldn’t believe what I just did! I just had a conversation with my dead mom!
Carrot Top: (-.-) Derpy, your mom isn’t dead
Derpy: (O.O) …Oh yeah… but anyway, what are you doing hiding in a bush?
Carrot Top: *putting her hoof to her lips* Shhh, keep your voice down. I don’t want them to know I am here.
Derpy: *thoughtful, then as she speaks her voice gets louder until she’s yelling* Could you possibly be trying to steal Sweet Apple Acres’ secrets to sabotage their product so that your carrot business can become a monopoly and dominate the food market of all of Equestria! (D:) I don’t wanna eat carrots all my-
Carrot Top: *putting her hoof in Derpy’s mouth and speaking in a whisper* I told you to shush! And do you really think that I would do something like that? Though now that you mention it…
Derpy: (D:) *putting her hooves to her head* …what have I done!
Carrot Top: (:3) Haha, I’m kidding Derpy. Lighten up
Derpy: (:D) Oh, that’s good
Carrot Top: *holding binoculars up, taped to her hoof* But really I’m here, for THAT! *points*
*Derpy looks to where Carrot Top was pointing*
Derpy: The wheel barrow full of apples? I do love apples, but if you asked, the Apple family would probably-
Carrot Top: (-.-) Not the apples.
Derpy: (^^;) The…… barn?
Carrot Top: *frustrated* Really? The barn?
Derpy: ( >:( ) *pointing at her derped eyes* If you haven’t already guessed, my eyesight isn’t the best in Equestria!
Carrot Top: (^^;) Right, well it’s tall, red, and handsome.
Derpy: *thoughtful* … hmmm
Carrot Top: (-.-) has a big green apple as a cutie mark
Derpy: …hmmm
Carrot Top: *sarcastic* Starts with B, ends in Ig Macintosh
Derpy: (>.<) …it’s on the tip of my tongue
Carrot Top: Big Mac-
Derpy: *interrupting her* Big Macintosh! (^.^) Yea, what about him?
Carrot Top: (O.o) *sighing* Right, well, isn’t he a total dream boat? *dreamy*
Derpy: (^^;) I mean… I guess…
Carrot Top: *taken aback* You guess?! *grabbing Derpy’s head out of the sky and smushing it to the side of her face so they’re looking at the same thing… hopefully… ‘cause you know Derpy* Look at him. He’s big, strong, dependable. Everything a mare wants!
Derpy: *shaking free* So whattya doing in this bush? You should tell him. I’ll go with you!
*Derpy starts to fly toward the farm when Carrot Top bites her tail and brings her down again with a thud.*
Carrot Top: shh! Don’t do that!
Derpy: *rubbing her butt* What? Why not?
Carrot Top: I-I wouldn’t know what to say. I’m not ready to confront him! What if I slip up and say something stupid. I don’t want to derp anything! *covering her mouth when she realized who she is talking to*
Derpy: *looking a little sad, head lowering* Is my name… beginning to mean “do something stupid?”
Carrot Top: *sweating* heh heh, what? No… not at all…
Derpy: (:D) Oh, okay!
Carrot Top: *breathing a sigh of relief* But yeah, and I don’t know if my mane looks good. I probably smell bad from hanging in this bush all day.
Derpy: (:o) You’ve been here all day?
Carrot Top: Well… since… he started working… so dawn… crap, I have been here all day.
Derpy: *heading back toward the farm again* Well, at least it’s still morning, so we can go ask our friends for some love advice when I’m done with my rounds.
Carrot Top: *biting Derpy’s tail, but just to stop her in flight* You’re not going fo say anyfling fo Ig Macinflosh are you?
Derpy: *sympathetically* Carrot Top, I have to deliver their mail. Trust me, I won’t say a word
*Carrot Top reluctantly lets go and Derpy flies toward Sweet Apple Acres. Carrot Top starts chewing on her hoof in anxiety as she watches Derpy talk to Big Mac, laugh, and Derpy give him his mail. After she hands him the mail, Big Macintosh points in the very direction of where Carrot Top is*
Carrot Top: Eep! *tries to make herself smaller under the bush*
*Derpy says some departing words and leaves toward the place where Carrot Top is, cheery like she always is.*
Derpy: *flying over the bush* Toppy, why are you hiding even more?
Carrot Top: *looking up from under her hooves and crestfallen* He saw me didn’t he! He knew I was here the whole time!
Derpy: What makes you think that?
Carrot Top: He pointed over here!
Derpy: *laughing* Haha, Oh, he wasn’t pointing at you, he was pointing at the flock of birds in the tree behind you!
Carrot Top: *looking up* Huh?
*Sure enough, there was a big flock of birds in the tree right behind Carrot Top. One of the birds flew down right in front of Carrot Top’s nose*
Bird: *in a super deep voice* You are one weird pony
Carrot Top: *surprised and agitated* Shoo you!
*Waving her hoof, she made the bird fly away, with his flock to boot*
Derpy: *putting her hoof on Carrot Top’s sullen shoulder* Don’t mind them, they’re mockingbirds after all.
Carrot Top: (O^O) That was so mean.
Derpy: (^.^) Come on, once I’m done with my routes we can go over to Lyra and Bon Bon’s place and get some love tips.
Carrot Top: *sniffling* Ok
…
*Time has passed and it is mid afternoon. Derpy and Carrot Top are seen walking toward Bon Bon’s candy shop. Yes, Bon Bon runs the town candy shop, what’d you expect?!*
Derpy: *knocking on the door to the candy shop and talking to Carrot Top* If anyone can give you tips on stallions, it’s these ponies.
Carrot Top: *happier* Yeah, I guess you’re right.
*Derpy, still knocking on the door, smiles at Carrot Top. A voice is heard from the other side of the door.*
???: I’m coming, I’m coming.
*The door opens to the cheery face of Bon Bon. She’s in her work apron and bonnet. From the shop, Derpy and Carrot Top could smell the wonderful chocolates cooking for the evening rush. Because we all know that ponies love to get candy after dinner!*
Bon Bon: *chipper* Welcome to Bon Bon’s bonbons, how may I- *looking surprised* Oh, hey gals.
Derpy: (^.^) Hi Bon Bon, can we come in?
Bon Bon: Sure! What’s the occasion?
Derpy: *getting close to Bon Bon’s ear* It’s Carrot Top, she’s been spying on the Apple Family!
Bon Bon: *taken aback* Oh, I knew she wanted to sabotage their farm!
Carrot Top: (O.o) Wha? No, I never wanted that! Geez, why does everypony think I’m evil all of a sudden?
Bon Bon: (:3) You weren’t before?
Carrot Top: *sarcastic* Haha, very funny. Actually, I was wondering if you could help me-
Derpy: *jumping up on her hindlegs, forelegs above her head, with a sinister look* -make everything carrots!
Bon Bon: *melodramatic* B-but carrot flavored candy will never sell!
*Derpy and Bon Bon fall on their backs laughing*
Carrot Top: (-.-) Come on, I’m in a real jam here
Derpy: *laughing* …but this is a candy store, not a jelly store. *then she bursts out laughing*
*Bon Bon stops laughing and the two other mares look at Derpy*
Carrot Top: Derpy, your puns are the worst
Derpy: (:D) Ooo, that’s a good one. I’m going to tell Princess Celestia that next time I see her.
*Just then, Lyra walks in from the back room where the candy was being made. She had the same work clothes that Bon Bon was wearing.*
Lyra: *wiping her hooves on the apron* Hey, what’s going on in here?
Bon Bon: Oh Derpy and Carrot Top came over… for…some reason… *turning toward Derpy* why ARE you ponies here anyway?
Carrot Top: Well I-
Derpy: Carrot Top’s gotta crush on Big Mac!
Carrot Top: Hey!
Bon Bon: Ooooooo
Lyra: Haha, who doesn’t?
Derpy: Yeah, but she was watching him in a bush outside of Sweet Apple Acres all morning!
Carrot Top: Hey!!!
Lyra: Whoa, you really do like this pony dontcha?
Bon Bon: ( ;) ) Looks like Cupid Hooves stuck an arrow in you
Carrot Top: *flustered* WILL YOU LET ME SPEAK?!
*Everypony hushed up*
Carrot Top: *sighing* I’m having trouble confronting him, can you ponies help me?
*Bon Bon and Lyra look at each other, thoughtful*
Bon Bon: Hmm, stallion trouble. I may have the key.
*Bon Bon goes in the back of the shop to look for what she needs. Lyra stays in the room with a smile. An awkward silence fills the room.*
Derpy: *trying to break the silence* So… Lyra… how’s the weather?
Lyra: (>.>) Shouldn’t you know that? Pegasi run the weather in Equestria, remember?
Derpy: Oh yeah…
Carrot Top: So, what is Bon Bon getting?
Lyra: Oh, it was a candy that we had experimented with a while back. It didn’t really sell much, so we have extras.
Carrot Top: *nervous* Experimental… candy?
Lyra: (^.^) Experimental Candy.
Derpy: *excited* Experimental Candy!
*Derpy was jumping up and down, flapping her wings in excitement when Bon Bon reentered the room. Bon Bon gave Derpy a questionable look and she calmed down. In Bon Bon’s mouth was a small crate, probably filled with the candy in question.*
Bon Bon: *placing the crate on the floor* Welp, here it is. These are on the house, they never really sold anyway
Derpy: *unable to contain herself* Gimme gimme gimme
*Before any of them could act Derpy broke open the case, unwrapped the candy, and shoved it in her mouth. The other ponies watched, mouths gapped open as Derpy sucked on the hard jawbreaker-like candy. Suddenly, Derpy’s face scrunched up and she fell on the floor, hooves in the air.*
Carrot Top: (:o) Derpy! Are you alright?
Derpy: (x.x) …
Carrot Top: *now over Derpy’s body and on the verge of tears* I knew I should have stopped her!
Derpy: … … ... ….. … SOUR!!!
*Carrot Top falls back in surprise as Derpy jumps up and flies around. Derpy’s face is still scrunched up as she flies around in a frenzy.*
Derpy: *slowing down* wait… wait… (^.^) ok it’s sweet now.
Carrot Top: Huh?
Bon Bon: ( :) ) Haha, it was an experimental candy that is at first sour, but turns sweet when you suck on it long enough.
Lyra: *shrugging* Leave it to Derpy to be melodramatic
*Carrot Top breathes a sigh of relief as Derpy settles down on the floor again, happy as ever. Carrot Top turns to Lyra and Bon Bon.*
Carrot Top: *confused* Wait… so how will this help me with Big Macintosh?
Lyra: Like this!
*Lyra’s horn begins to glow as she levitates one of the wrapped candies. Then a spark is seen from her horn and the candy is then transformed, not physically, but the other ponies know what’s up. Lyra puts the candy down in front of Carrot Top, while the orange pony gives it a questionable glance.*
Carrot Top: So… what exactly did you do to it?
Lyra: I put a basic charm spell on it. Once you eat that, you will have no trouble confronting Big Macintosh. *nudging Carrot Top* You’ll probably be even more into him.
Bon Bon: (:3) If that’s even possible
*Derpy and Lyra laugh. Carrot Top gives a nervous laugh*
Carrot Top: (^^;) I mean, I’ll do it… but unlike Derpy here, I don’t really like hard candy.
Bon Bon: *thoughtful* Well, you could probably go over to Berry Punch’s place and she could mix it in a drink for you.
Carrot Top: *happier* Oh! What a splendid idea! I do love Berry Punch’s drinks
Derpy: Yay! More food!
Carrot Top: *anxious* Well mares, it’s been swell, but we have got to get going if we are to catch Big Macintosh before he quits working. He usually ends his chores by dinner.
Lyra: Man, you really have been doing your homework eh?
Carrot Top: *embarrassed* Oh stop. I just watched him… a couple times… a few times maybe.
Lyra: *to Bon Bon* I don’t even know if my charm spell will do anything
*Bon Bon giggles as Carrot Top starts heading out door. Carrot Top calls for Derpy, who had been distracted by the candy displays at the check-out counter. Once hearing her name, Derpy skips toward the door to follow Carrot Top. But before Derpy could leave, Bon Bon calls her back.*
Bon Bon: Derpy!
Derpy: *heading back* Yes Bon Bon?
Bon Bon: Now this is important. I need you to remember every word I say.
*Derpy nods, suddenly serious*
Bon Bon: When Carrot Top drinks the potion, the first thing she sees will be the thing she will pursue with love. Make sure she is looking directly at Big Macintosh when she drinks it.
Derpy: *hoof to her brow* I won’t let you down Sgt. Bons
Lyra: If you screw up, just knock her out.
Bon Bon: *surprised at what her companion had said* Lyra!
Lyra: What? That’s the only remedy for blind love: a swift kick to the noggin, haha
Bon Bon: *rolling her eyes* If you do happen to fail, just… gently put her to sleep. When she wakes, she’ll be normal again.
Carrot Top: *from outside* Derpy! You can’t eat the candy through the glass. Get out here!
Derpy: *shouting outside* I know that… wait… really? *shaking her head and turning back to the two candy ponies* Thanks for the advice, I won’t let you down.
*Derpy waves behind her as she heads back out to join Carrot Top. Now only Lyra and Bon Bon are in the candy shop.*
Lyra: …
Bon Bon: …
Lyra: *coughs a little* …
Bon Bon: …
Lyra: … (-.-) she’s gonna screw up, isn’t she.
Bon Bon: *facehoofing* I should have told Carrot Top
…
*Derpy and Carrot Top are seen heading toward the local Ponyville bar. Before you get all defensive with me, yes, Ponyville has a bar. We ALLLL know that ponies like to have a drink or two after dinner, don’t you question me! Carrot Top walks in and the bell above the door rings. Berry Punch is seen behind the counter mending the bar, quietly preparing for the evening rush. Berry Punch stops cleaning the counter when her friends arrive.*
Berry Punch: Hey guys! Welcome to Berry’s Pub! What can I getcha?
Derpy: *confused* I coulda sworn you called this place Berry’s Bar…
Berry Punch: *mock seriousness* You know why I don’t? Because alliteration is for losers
Carrot Top: Tell that to Bon Bon
*The ponies laugh as Derpy and Carrot Top pop-a-squat on the bar stools in front of the bar. Berry finishes wiping the counter and joins them behind the bar.*
Berry Punch: So what are you gals doing here? It’s a tad bit early for spirits.
Carrot Top: *placing the hard candy on the counter top* Actually Berry, I need a favor
Berry Punch: *eyeing the candy with a quizzical look* Yea?
Carrot Top: Well, I don’t like hard candy too much… and I was wondering if you could grind this down and mix it with a drink that I could take instead.
Berry Punch: (>.>) Uhh… sweety, isn’t the point of getting hard candy because, I dunno, you’re supposed to like hard candy?
Derpy: It’s got a spell on it that will make Carrot Top super promiscuous!
Carrot Top: *angry* Good Celestia! That’s what, the third time you just burst out saying my plans?
Derpy: *head lowered* Sorry
Berry Punch: (^.^) Hey now, she’s just trying to be honest. Besides, I get where you’re coming from.
Carrot Top: (O.o) You do?
Berry Punch: I’ve had crushes too ya know, that’s what this is about right?
Carrot Top: *embarrassed* …More or less
Berry Punch: Well, lemme give you some advice.
Derpy: (:D) I’m listening
Berry Punch: *a little surprised* Haha, okay, for the both of you. *serious* Now, you shouldn’t have to resort to artificial means to getting what you want. If you really like this pony-
Derpy: *derped* Big Mac!
Carrot Top: *sighing*
Berry Punch: -Big Mac, then the love you have for him should be the driving force for pursuing the actions you need to confront him. It gets all loopy once you use magic on feelings, ya know?
Carrot Top: Wow Berry, that was pretty deep.
Berry Punch: *shrugging* Hey, it’s my job. This bar usually doesn’t attract cheerful fillies, if you know what I mean… well… in the morning it does. *grinning* I make a wicked Rainbow Swirl.
Derpy: (^.^) I need to come here more often!
Berry Punch: *laughing at Derpy, then turning to Carrot Top* So, you sure you want me to do this?
*Carrot Top got up, and walked away from the mares to think it over while Derpy tried to order a drink*
Derpy: So Berry, how hard is hard liquor?
Berry Punch: Haha, it’s still liquid Derpy
Derpy: *derped* Huh? That doesn’t sound so bad! Gimme 20 shots!
Berry Punch: (^^;) Let’s get you started on some grape juice first, then we can work our way up
Derpy: *surprisingly agreeable* you’re the boss, bossmare!
*Carrot Top returns to the group as Berry Punch pours Derpy a shot of grape juice.*
Carrot Top: I’m… I’m sorry Berry, but I can’t bring myself to confront him… I need magical aid, and I do not think it is going to be as bad as you say it is.
Berry Punch: *shrugging* Suit yourself
*Berry takes the hard candy into her mouth and brings it to the blender behind her. She unwraps the candy and tosses it in the blender. She then grabs a bottle and pours about a fourth of the contents into the blender with the candy*
Berry Punch: I poured in some apple cider so that you wouldn’t be drinkin’ mush
Carrot Top: Ugh, apple cider? You wouldn’t happen to have any carrot juice on you, would you?
Berry Punch: *sighing* Sorry Care, I forgot you hated the taste of apples. Hold on.
*Berry continues working while Derpy and Carrot Top talk*
Derpy: Wait… you’re falling for an Apple Family stallion, and you hate apples… I dunno if this is gonna-
Carrot Top: Oh please, apples can’t stop me from my true love *dreamy*
Derpy: (^^;) Well… I mean I’ve never been THAT love struck, but if you say so
Carrot Top: *determined* Oh I KNOW so. There’s nothing in Equestria that can stop me!
Derpy: Haha, maybe you should be this passionate about growing carrots instead.
Carrot Top: Oh hush
*Berry Punch finished making the drink and placed it in front of Carrot Top. The purple concoction was in a jar with a cork in it. The fizzle of magic was apparent inside the jar.*
Berry Punch: I mixed it with some other drinks so that you can’t taste the cider. I can’t promise it will be good though.
Carrot Top: Thank you Berry, we gotta hurry now before it’s too late. Dinner is only in an hour!
*Carrot Top says her salutations, picks up the potion, and trots out of the bar in a hurry. Derpy is close behind, but stops short of the door. She spins around and hurries back to the bar where her unattended shot of grape juice still stood. She swoops up the glass and downs the drink in one gulp.*
Derpy: Pheeeeew, that stuff is strong!
Berry Punch: ( :) ) It’s on the house. You guys stay safe now!
*Derpy waves back as she flies through the door to catch up with Carrot Top*
…
*Carrot Top and Derpy are back in the bush that we first saw them. Luckily, Big Macintosh was still working, but he seemed to be finishing up with the apple pruning. Ya see, down ‘ere in da south, ya gotta prune the trees so… ya know, that doesn’t matter. What matters is the clock is ticking and Carrot Top is getting more and more anxious with every waking minute.*
Carrot Top: *turning to Derpy* So all I have to do drink this and I’ll just be really… confident… or something.
Derpy: (^.^) Yep
Carrot Top: No rules? Nothing I need to say or do for it to work?
Derpy: (^.^) Nope
Carrot Top: *hesitating* I feel like Bon Bon might have said something to you… about how it works…
Derpy: *uncorking the bottle and shoving it into Carrot Top’s chest* Welp, time’s a wastin’
Carrot Top: *looking down* Right… after this… after this I’ll have the courage to stand up to my fears. Come on, Care… you can do this. Just down this drink and it’ll be like magic… literally. I can’t let myself down here… Derpy, does my hair look okay?
Derpy: *impatient* For crying out loud, just drink it!
Carrot Top: Right… well, bottoms up!
*Carrot Top chugs the potion until not a drop is left.*
Carrot Top: *looking disgusted* Ugh… that is sour and bitter and… WHOAAAAAA
*Carrot Top squeezes her eyes shut as the magic takes effect. Derpy watches as her friend grabs her head in astonishment. Suddenly, Derpy remembers.
Bon Bon From The Past: When Carrot Top drinks the potion, the first thing she sees will be the thing she will pursue with love. *derped* Also, you can obviously eat candy through glass if you suck hard enough!
Derpy: *waking up from flashback* I knew it!... Oh, right
*Quickly, before Carrot Top can open her eyes, Derpy spins her so that she’s facing Big Macintosh. Just in time too because right when Derpy turned her, Carrot Top’s eyes shot open.*
Derpy: *poking Carrot Top’s back* Hey Carrot Top, how’re you feeling?
Carrot Top: *eccentric* (:D) Never better! And whoooooooo is that?!
*Carrot Top immediately bolted toward Big Macintosh. Big Macintosh looks up from his work to see Carrot Top’s love struck gaze headed right toward him. His first thought was, “Uh oh.” His second thought was, “I’m such a player.” Still, he was startled at this mare charging at him.*
Derpy: *relieved* Whew, we can finally get this over with-
*Carrot Top finishes her charge, butts Big Macintosh out of the way, and starts hugging the apple tree he was pruning.*
Derpy: (O.o) -oooooor not………… crap
Carrot Top: What a B-E-A-utiful tree. Oh it’s strong trunk, luscious leaves, tall stature. It’s perfect, just PERFECT!
Big Mac: Uhhh… pardon?
Carrot Top: *spinning toward Big Macintosh* Good Sir, please tell me, what is the name of this fine tree?
Big Mac: Er… It’s Jeffery
Carrot Top: *turning back and hugging the tree* Jeffery! Oh, what a wonderful name! Fit for… for an apple king!
Derpy: *finally caught up* Carrot Top! This isn’t a part of the plan at all!
Carrot Top: *too love struck* Plans! I plan to buy this tree!
Derpy: Care! Come on, snap out of it!
Big Mac: Snap out of what?
Derpy: Well, Carrot Top drank a- *shaking her head* No, the regular Carrot Top would HATE me if I said that.
Carrot Top: *licking the bark* All I can do is love! *sticking out her tongue to show the others. She has some painful splinters in her tongue now. She points at her tongue* See! It loves me too!
Derpy: *disgusted*Nasty! Doesn’t that hurt?
Carrot Top: Love hurts sometimes!
Derpy: *trying to pry Carrot Top off of the tree* Okay Care, you’re gonna have to let go now
Carrot Top: *indignant* No! You can’t take me from my love!
Derpy: *struggling* How… are you… so… strong?! I thought you hated apples!
Carrot Top: I never said that!
Derpy: Big Mac! Gimme a hand, will ya?
Big Mac: ‘Don’t really know what’s goin’ on, but okay
*Big Mac and Derpy pry Carrot Top from the tree. Carrot Top flails her legs in protest, but the pair were able to take her a few meters away from the tree. They put Carrot Top down, and she immediately bolts back toward the tree. But Derpy is too fast, and swoops Carrot Top from the ground into the air above the tree. Derpy ascends as they squabble.*
Carrot Top: No! Put me down!
Derpy: It’s for your own good! Now calm down!
Carrot Top: *struggling* You can’t take me away from Jeffery!
Derpy: Stop… squirming…
Carrot Top: *Now kicking at Derpy’s face* You will put me down this instant!
Derpy: *taking hooves to the face* Ow- qui- quit- kicking- me!
Carrot Top: *won’t quit* I will get what I want! And I want Jeffery!!
Derpy: *fed up* Fine! If you want him so bad, you can have him!!
*Derpy lets go of Carrot Top and lets her fall to the tree. Then Derpy realizes that they were 150 feet above the tree.*
Derpy: (O.O) …not the best idea I’ve had…
*Carrot Top screams as she plummets toward her “love.” Derpy acts fast and blots downward to hopefully catch her. Carrot Top looks up, down, left, right… then passes out…*
…
*Carrot Top wakes to find herself in the nurse’s office. Opening her eyes slowly, she checks around her. She’s slightly startled when Nurse Redheart enters her room. Redheart sees that she’s awake and calls for a pony outside of the room. Derpy comes galloping in and runs up to Carrot Top.*
Carrot Top: Wha… what happened? My head feels groggy.
*Nurse Redheart quietly excuses herself after saying that Carrot Top was fit to leave whenever she liked. Derpy says thank you and turns back toward Carrot Top.*
Derpy: Well… to make a long story short, you fell in love with an apple tree.
Carrot Top: (O.o) Oh no! I made a fool out of myself didn’t I?
Derpy: (^.^) You sure did!
Carrot Top: ( :( ) …
Derpy: (^^;) Well, it’s okay Care. Everything turned out great!
Carrot Top: *sorrowful* I made myself look like a lunatic in front of Big Macintosh… how can anything be great?
Derpy: Welll, I kinda talked to him while you were passed out…
Carrot Top: *interested* Huh?
Derpy: After I caught you, I gently placed you on Big Mac and he brought you here.
Carrot Top: *blushing* He… carried me here?
Derpy: (^.^) Yea! And while we were walking to the nurse’s office, we talked about you.
Carrot Top: You did? What did you say? You said something stupid, didn’t you?
Derpy: (^^;) No, I asked him what he thought of you, and he said you have a lot of spirit.
Carrot Top: …lots of spirit… that’s good right?
Derpy: ……maybe? Anyway, I asked him if he would be interested in…ya know… hanging out with you some time-
Carrot Top: *angry* You idiot! That’s not how you talk to guys!
Derpy: *ignoring her* -and he said he’d love to!
Carrot Top: I can’t believe you- wait… what?
Derpy: (^.^) Haha, he said he’d love to go on a date with you, Care
Carrot Top: But… really? After all the crazy things I did… probably did… *trying to look at her tongue* my tongue hurts
Derpy: Yea, you kinda licked the tree… Nurse Redheart pulled the splinters out before you woke up though, so it’s all good.
Carrot Top: ... And even after all that… he said he wanted to go on… on… *swallowing* a date?
Derpy: eeeeeeeeeeyup. He said he liked your passion for apples.
Carrot Top: (O.o;)… *facehoofing, then collecting herself* Well… there were probably worse outcomes to this story…
Derpy: (^.^) Yep, good thing the best outcome came up!
*Carrot Top tenderly gets up from her bed, collects herself, and then quickly gives Derpy a loving hug.*
Carrot Top: *at the verge of tears* Thank you Derpy… you have no idea how much you’ve helped me today.
Derpy: *hugging back* It’s what a mailmare’s suppose to do, honey bun
…
Derpy: … And that’s how Equestria was made!
*Princess Celestia, always the attentive listener, lifted her head with a smile. While the story was being told, the evening had turned to sunset and it was time for Luna to do her duties.*
Princess Celestia: That was an amazing thing you did for your friend, even if your methods were… unorthodox.
Derpy: *blushing* aww, it was nothing. Truth is, I was scared most of the time when that magic screwed up.
Princess Celestia: *rising from her cushion* And even through that, you were able to make a bad situation into something extraordinary. That’s a gift Ditzy.
Derpy: You think so?
Princess Celestia: Oh, I know so. (:3) I should write a letter to a certain someone I know telling of your great adventures.
Derpy: *embarrassed* Oh, it wasn’t that great; only happened in a few hours. I came straight here after I walked Carrot Top home.
Princess Celestia: Haha, well, I feel I have to retire for today. I hope to see you here tomorrow, same time?
Derpy: (^.^) Oh definitely!
Princess Celestia: Good night Ditzy.
*Derpy said goodbye and started flying through the window. She was on the patio when Princess Celestia called her back.*
Derpy: *coming to the threshold of the window* Yes Princess?
Princess Celestia: Did you happen to learn anything from friendship today?
Derpy: *derped and putting her hoof to her chin* Learning? I don’t learn friendship; it’s just what I do!
*Princess Celestia nodded with a smile and Derpy flew out of the window toward the setting sun.*
