Princess Twilight Sparkle and two of her closest friends sat together at one of Café Hay's outdoor tables, chatting in the unseasonably-balmy Autumn weather. Fluttershy and Rarity briefly admired a passing kaleidoscope of butterflies, but Twilight didn't notice. She was too busy staring at the top of her plastic cup.
"Thanks for inviting me out, girls. I really need to take more time out of my schedule for relaxation," said Twilight, in a soft tone of voice. The princess fussed with the drinking straw in her wheatgrass smoothie, noisily tweaking it in and out.
Rarity turned her attention back to her friends and smiled warmly. "Of course you do, darling. That's why we've been trying to get you out of that stuffy castle more often," she said, idly stirring her cup of green tea with a telekinetically-grasped teaspoon.
"I don't know if either of you have noticed this, but I've been under a lot of stress over the past few months. I almost never get a good night's sleep," she said between sips of the slurry, eyes still downcast. "I keep having night terrors: I wake up screaming so loud Spike has to wear earplugs to bed even though he sleeps in another part of the castle. I don't know what the problem is, but I clearly need stronger sleep medication."
"Of course we've noticed your stress," said Fluttershy. "Twilight, would it be okay if we offered you some advice?"
"I don't think it will help, but sure," said Twilight. As she looked up to Fluttershy and Rarity, Twilight noticed the common look of concern they shared.
Fluttershy smiled wanly. "Sometimes we can forget things that are very important," she said. "Especially if our brain doesn't want us to remember them. Maybe at some point you'll remember what's bothering you?"
"And if you do remember," continued Rarity, "the very first thing you should do is talk to your friends about it. Don't ever be afraid to bring your troubles to us! Shared joy is enhanced, but shared sorrow is lessened."
"The night terrors have nothing to do with..." Twilight began, and then her brow knitted tightly. "Wow, I'm getting the weirdest sense of déjà vu. I could swear we've talked about this before. Didn't we have this same conversation last week?"
"Something like it, yes," said Fluttershy. "You've been having this problem for quite a while, Twilight. You know you can come to us with anything at all, right?"
"No, wait. This is seriously weird. If my anxiety were bad enough last week to have this conversation, I'm sure I'd remember it... then again, my memory and concentration have been a mess lately, too. I'm sure it's from the lack of sleep," said Twilight. "I don't think I'm forgetting why I'm anxious. I already know there's no logical reason why I should feel this way. My brain is just low on neurochemicals like serotonin and norepinephrine, and the right combination of pills will cure me. I'll schedule to meet with a doctor tomorrow."
"That's an excellent idea, but any doctor who treats you for anxiety will suggest you see a therapist as well," said Rarity. "Especially if you wake up screaming, don't you think? Sometimes we only need probe a little beneath the surface to discover what ails us. I have an excellent talk therapist I could put you in contact with—"
Twilight interrupted Rarity mid-sentence. "I know you mean well, Rarity, but I did the therapy route a year ago. I've already worked through all my issues. Mostly it was depression and low self-esteem from being friendless in childhood, and maybe some abandonment issues after Flash Sentry left to go back to the Crystal Kingdom when we broke up," she explained. "I'm fine with all of that now. My only current stressor is watching Starlight Glimmer's progress now that she's not my student anymore, but she's off visiting Our Town this week so that shouldn't be an issue."
"Just because therapy fixed things for you once doesn't mean it won't work if you try it again. You might have new issues you don't realize, and they're popping up in your dreams," added Fluttershy.
"I don't think you understand. Night terrors aren't dream-related," said Twilight. "They're a common sleep disorder that affect delta wave sleep. You dream when you're in REM sleep. I don't remember any dreams, I just wake up screaming and can't get back to sleep."
"Well, just because you're not dreaming when the screaming happens doesn't mean there isn't more to the problem," said Fluttershy. "Just consider therapy, Twilight. That's all we ask."
"Ugh, fine. Like I said, I'm going to see my doctor soon, so I'll mention it then," said Twilight, scowling. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes momentarily. "Right now I just want to clear my schedule and relax for a few days, and Pinkie's party will be a welcome respite. What time is the party, again?"
"Indeed, her soirees are always delightful," said Rarity. "The party is scheduled for tomorrow evening at seven. This year, Fluttershy has been kind enough to host it at her cottage."
"Oh, it's no trouble—" began Fluttershy.
"Don't you mean tonight?" asked Twilight, her brow furrowing as one eye twitched. "Pinkie's birthday is today. There's no way Starlight will be able to make it back to Ponyville by tomorrow, so there isn't any reason to delay the party. I thought we were just planning to save her some cake?"
"Hay, that's right," said Fluttershy. "Today is Pinkie's—" She stopped short as Rarity's delicately hooficured appendage planted itself firmly into her muzzle. Rarity's teacup fell from her magic, only to be caught in the nick of time by Twilight's aura before it could strike the surface of the table.
"Oh! Thank you, Twilight. Fluttershy, Pinkie is busy today. Remember?" said Rarity, wearing a grin so plastic even a socially-inattentive mare like Twilight Sparkle could sense the attempt at unspoken communication.
Fluttershy pulled her head to the side and squeaked. "Rarity, I don't know what... Oh my! It's Thursday today," she gasped, covering her mouth with both forehooves. "I thought today was Friday! Yes, Pinkie is very busy. I am so sorry, I completely forgot."
"Wait a minute. You're telling me Pinkie Pie is willing to postpone her own birthday party because she has something else to do?" asked Twilight. "What in Equestria could be that important?"
"It would appear to be a private matter," Rarity answered. "And, since she didn't volunteer, Fluttershy and I thought it politest not to ask."
"Yes, what Rarity said," said Fluttershy. "It's only one day, after all, Twilight. We'll all have fun tomorrow, okay?"
"Besides, you should probably head back to the castle before it gets too late. Spike mentioned earlier that he wished to speak with you," added Rarity. "Something important, he said."
Twilight narrowed her gaze. "Spike has been indoors all day with a cold. How did he tell you that?"
"He told me... yesterday," said Rarity, wearing that strange grin again.
"Of course," said Twilight.
Something odd was ahoof, and Twilight knew it went beyond simple insomnia. She could feel it deep in her bones. Normally she would dismiss intuition as subconscious noise, but the anxiety inside her barrel had been building all week. She was starting to feel suspicious and angry inside, and she didn't know why.
"I can't just ignore a mystery—especially when my sanity is part of it! My friends are supposed to make me feel relaxed, but after spending time with Rarity and Fluttershy I feel even worse than I did this morning," she said with a deep sigh, walking slowly toward Sweet Apple Acres. "It doesn't make rational sense."
The sound of a breezy Dappler-effect whooshed right over her head, and Twilight Sparkle cupped her hoof over her eyes to scan the sky. The Sun wasn't scheduled to set for another hour or two, and the pegasus above her was hovering right beside it—so Twilight couldn't make out any details without being blinded. Fortunately, she didn't need to guess who it was. Only one pony in Ponyville would dare buzz by her like that.
"Rainbow Dash, what's going on?" called Twilight, squinting as she stopped walking.
Her friend touched down right in front of her. "I should ask you the same thing, Twi. Where you headed?" said Rainbow Dash.
"Well, where does it look like?" said Twilight, frowning bitterly.
"Whoa! What crawled up and bit your dock?" said Rainbow Dash. "Seriously, though. Is everything okay?"
Twilight sighed, and started walking toward the farm again. "I'm sorry, Rainbow. I just don't like it when..." she said, then paused for a moment. "Actually, you might be able to help me. Do you know why Pinkie Pie's party isn't tonight?"
"Um, because it's tomorrow?" said Dash, shrugging as she took back to the air and flew low alongside Twilight's flank.
"Yes, but today is her birthday. Pinkie isn't going to reschedule her own birthday party without a valid reason," said Twilight.
"Well, you can ask her tomorrow at the party, I guess. This seems like an awfully small thing to lose your cool over," said Dash. "Even for you, egghead. No offense."
Twilight stopped again. "You have a point. There's something else, though. My night terrors are getting worse, and I'm constantly anxious. It seems like I get this bad at least once a week. Rainbow Dash, did we talk at all last Thursday?" she asked. "I can't remember much from last week. Last Thursday I think I just stayed in the castle all day and went to bed early."
"Yeah, you were kind of a hermit last Thursday," said Dash. "But remembering things is important, Twilight. Sometimes you gotta remember things before you can, you know, get past them? Um, if that makes any sense."
Twilight blinked a few times. "No, it doesn't make any sense at all."
"Well, I guess that's why I'm not a philosopher," said Rainbow Dash, with a shrug.
Twilight smiled weakly. "You might be more than you know, Rainbow. Maybe I'll stop by Sugarcube Corner tonight to ask Pinkie about this myself."
"Eh, I'd wait until tomorrow, Twilight. She's probably really busy or she wouldn't have rescheduled, y'know?" said Dash. "It's just one day, after all. You can wait that long. Besides, Spike wanted to talk to you."
"Spike's been sick all—"
"Oops, gotta fly!" said Rainbow Dash, and she immediately shot off through the air in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight gritted her teeth. "Probably off to warn her, no doubt," she said, then shook her head. "No. I can't assume the worst in my friends. Pinkie Pie taught me that lesson herself. But if there's anypony whose word I know I can trust..."
"Why isn't Pinkie havin' her party tonight? I can't rightly say," said Applejack, swinging the axe again and splitting another thick log into large chunks of firewood.
"You can't say because you don't know, or you can't say because you don't want to say?" asked Twilight, her eyes narrow.
Applejack mopped a copious amount of sweat from her brow, tugged the axe free from the chopping stump, and rested it across her shoulder.
"Look, Twi. When I say can't, I mean it. I literally cannot tell you, even if I wanted to, and that's the truth," she said, staring Twilight right in the eyes.
Twilight Sparkle paused in thought, nervously toeing at the earth with one hoof. "Applejack, answer me this. Do you, or do you not, know why Pinkie is rescheduling the party?"
Applejack spit on the ground, then swung the axe again while keeping her eyes on Twilight. Another loud chop echoed throughout the pasture. "I done told you well enough," she said. "I gotta cut me this firewood now. Go home and talk to Spike, he's been fixin' to tell you somethin'."
"AJ... you just chopped your stump in half," Twilight pointed out.
Applejack looked down at the split stump and let go of her axe. She closed her eyes and snorted. "We go through these Star-forsaken horsefeathers every damn week," she whispered, opening her eyes and looking up at the Heavens. "I know you're stressed, Twi, and I'm mighty sorry for it. I really, truly am. You're always stressed out like this on Thursdays."
"Do you know why? Can you help me?" said Twilight. "Why aren't you telling me—"
"It's because I'm hexed, Twilight!" shouted Applejack, rearing up to gesticulate with her hooves aimed at her head. "It's like I said, I literally can't tell you! All your close friends are hexed. If we tell you, we die. Simple as grass."
Twilight gasped, and for a moment her voice caught in her throat. "W-what?! Who in Equestria would do this to my friends?" said Twilight. "Can you tell me that, at least?"
"I'm pretty sure you can already guess that one, sugarcube," said Applejack, the look on her face suddenly sad. "Now go and see Spike, and don't dally. Bad things happen on Thursdays when you don't hightail it back to the castle by Sundown."
Twilight turned around, then doubled-back. "Is there anything you can tell me, AJ?"
Applejack paused in thought for a few moments. "Yes, there is," she said. "I'd ask you to try and trust your friends more than you trust yourself. Let us help you, Twi. Please."
Twilight turned away and immediately galloped toward the Castle of Friendship.
"SPIKE!" shouted Twilight Sparkle.
"Back from Sweet Apple Acres?" asked Spike, just before sneezing into a handkerchief. The green flame that came out of his nostrils incinerated the cloth. "Ugh. I go through so many of these when I'm sick. Also, I accidentally incinerated your calendar. Sorry."
"That's the third calendar this month!" said Twilight, rolling her eyes. "I'm trying to use those to chart my anxiety, Spike. My memory has been terrible... Wait, how did you know I was at Sweet Apple Acres? I told you I was headed out to see Rarity and Fluttershy."
"On Thursdays you usually end up with Applejack last," said Spike, sniffing. "Besides, Rainbow Dash stopped by and warned me you were lingering out there."
"Applejack just told me my friends were enchanted so they'd die if they told me what was going on! Can you explain any of this?" she asked, repeatedly thumping one hoof against the crystal flooring as she spoke.
"Sure thing. But not directly, or you know," he said, then made a throat-cutting gesture, "..khhhhkt! I mean, I'm your friend too, right? Don't worry, though. It can't happen by accident. It'll only kill me if I actually try to tell you the secret."
Twilight closed her eyes and winced. "Applejack said I could guess who did this, but I honestly don't know who she meant. How are you supposed to help me if you can't explain anything without putting yourself at risk?"
"Fortunately, you don't need to take my word for it," Spike said, and motioned for Twilight to follow him upstairs.
Twilight trotted alongside her faithful assistant. "There's somepony else here to explain it to me, isn't there?" she said.
"Yeah, so to speak," said Spike. "I'm about to introduce you to the pony who cast the hex on us all."
"Is she—or he, I guess, though that's statistically unlikely—somepony I know? Why don't I remember any of this?"
"The same ensemble spell that curses the rest of us blocks the memories of most ponies in Equestria, including you," said Spike, as they entered the castle library together. "As for the first question, yeah, you know her, but she's not exactly a friend of yours."
Twilight looked around. The shades were mostly drawn, and the Sun was due to set within the hour, so the vaulted room was dimly lit. In the center of the library was an old projector. A large projection screen stood in front of it. Spike jogged over and shuffled through several reels of film. Then he selected one of them and put it in the projector.
"Show yourself!" shouted Twilight, firing up her horn.
"Ahh, ahhhh..." said Spike, and then he sneezed to the side of the projector, singing the crystal flooring. "Bleah. This is awful. I could definitely go for some tomato and ruby soup when we're done here. I guess I shouldn't be complaining at a time like this, though."
The film began to play, showing a bookcase in the library. Onto the screen walked Twilight Sparkle.
"Oh no," said Twilight, as her horn stopped glowing. "You mean..."
"Yeah," whispered Spike. "You know, it's pretty weird how every week, you never see it coming."
Twilight felt a pang in her gut. She wanted to disbelieve, but deep down, she knew it was true.
"Dear future Twilight Sparkle, whom for simplicity's sake I shall hereafter refer to as 'me'. This is you, me. Er, it's me, you. It's Twilight."
"Do you want to start over?" came a hollow-sounding Spike voice from the background.
"NO!" shouted Twilight, and her horn glowed.
"Okay, okay!" whimpered the other Spike.
"Sor—" said current Twilight Sparkle, barely getting a syllable out of her mouth before Spike interrupted her.
"Don't mention it," said current Spike. "Seriously. You apologize every week."
"Twilight, if you're seeing this," said on-screen Twilight, "it's because Spike was unable to convince you to cast the memory extension spell."
"You were supposed to convince me to do that?" whispered Twilight.
"It never works," whispered Spike. "I got tired of trying to do it every Thursday afternoon, so I started skipping some steps."
"Me, I mean future Twilight, I implore you," the other Twilight said, kneeling down as tears began to stream down her cheeks. "Cast the extension spell before Sundown. Please. Please. Please. You are going to suffer intense pain if you don't. I barely had the strength to record this to prevent it from happening again. I can't bear it anymore," she said as her horn began to glow.
Then the filmstrip abruptly ended.
"That didn't explain anything!" said Twilight, raising a hoof in frustration.
"Well, there's more," said Spike. "I'm skipping the second recording because it never helps much, and going right to the third one..."
"Why can't you just tell me yourself?" said Twilight.
"Remember?" said Spike, making the throat-cutting motion again.
Twilight took a deep breath, then exhaled. "Okay. Are you sure the second one isn't important?"
"It's not useful. Watch this one." Spike dry-coughed a couple of times, then fired up the projector again.
Twilight was already on screen, standing in front of another part of the library. She was smiling and giggling while tears trickled down her cheeks. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her hooves twitched.
"Dear Celestia," whispered current Twilight.
"I never listen, do I?" she said, chuckling. "I... I don't know what I can do to convince you, me! As I stand here, I'd do anything to stop the pain, but you won't let me help you. Just cast the bucking spell. Do it now. Please..."
"Twilight, you don't need to do this," came Spike's voice.
"YES, I DO!" screamed Twilight, and her horn began to glow. Moments later, she fell to the floor unconscious, and Spike picked her up and placed her on a dolly.
Then current Spike turned off the projector.
"What... what is going on?" said Twilight, pointing at the blank projection screen with a trembling hoof.
"That's a screen we use to—oh, right. You meant everything else," said Spike.
"I still don't understand any of this, Spike. Where did she—I—get the spell? Why do I need to cast it?"
"Here," said Spike, offering her a scroll. "It requires alicorn magic, but it's not too hard to cast. It will suppress your memory of this afternoon for one week, and it'll put you to sleep. You'll wake up tomorrow feeling a little better. It also keeps knowledge of one specific secret suppressed everywhere in Equestria, except among your close friends. For us, it maintains the hex instead."
"If I need this to remain a secret, why not just remove my friends' memories too?"
"There are too many loose ends. You needed ponies to help you keep the secret from yourself, and none of us were willing to help you. So, you found a way to force us," said Spike.
"I just can't believe I would do this to you." Twilight surveyed the scroll. The writing and diagrams had been so hastily scrawled she couldn't tell whether it had been written by hoof or magic. "This is a very complicated spell. How could I cast it without the scroll? I just watched myself cast it twice, I presume."
"Oh, that. Both of those Twilight Sparkles let the spell expire, so they remembered everything, including the fact that you designed the spell yourself," said Spike. "You basically have it memorized, you just don't remember it right now."
"Well, obviously I can't cast it yet. I don't know what I'm trying to keep myself from remembering, and I don't want to be trapped in the dark forever," said Twilight. "What am I supposed to do, Spike?"
"As I see it, you have three options. One, go ahead and cast the spell. Two, do something to keep yourself from casting the spell, and deal with the aftermath like an adult. Three, become one of them." Spike pointed to a stack of at least ten reels of film. "Oh, and to be clear I don't mean 'make a recording'. I just mean the option of waiting it out like you usually do, which means suffering a lot, then casting the spell anyway. Now, if you want my advice—"
"Which I most definitely do," said Twilight.
"—then I'd say avoid option three at all costs," said Spike. "I'm tired of seeing you in pain every week. This has to stop, Twilight."
"Then I need to know, Spike. Otherwise, I might end up doing option three anyway the following week," said Twilight. "That means option two is the correct choice. I just don't understand why I need to keep myself from casting the spell when I don't want to cast the spell in the first place."
"Well, so far you've never taken option two. As soon as you remember, you either immediately cast the spell, or quickly record another useless message and then cast it," said Spike. "Wait here a minute, I'm going to grab something."
"It's a perfect catch twenty-two," said Twilight, shaking her head as Spike raced to the back of the library. "I want to know the answer, so I don't want to cast the spell... but knowing the answer for some reason makes me cast the spell."
Spike returned, holding a toroidal helix of cold-wrought iron. "Here. It's an ounckse," said Spike, pronouncing it AHNK-see.
"It's pronounced OONK-say, Spike, and where in Tartarus did you get a physical magic blocker? Those are illegal!"
Spike sneezed onto the ounckse, burning the metal with dragonfire which made it briefly glow red. "Yuck. Well, it should still work if you wait a minute for it to cool down. And I do know how to pronounce it, okay? I have a cold."
"You didn't answer my question."
"Your friends went to a lot of trouble to get you one of these," said Spike. "This one's barbed so you can jam it down on your horn, and then you won't be able to pull it off without doing some careful metalwork."
"That would scratch my horn!" said Twilight. "This is ridiculous. It would take me a month to regrow the velvet. I'd have an ugly horn for weeks."
"Compared to what you've been going through, it's a small price to pay, Twilight," said Spike.
"Spike, how long has this been going on?"
"Too long," said Spike. "Put the ounckse on, Twilight. Please?"
Twilight clenched her jaw repeatedly, tensing the muscles in her muzzle. "Is there at least a hint you could give me?" she asked. "I mean, isn't there some way I could learn about why this is happening before I remember? I need the ability to make an informed decision if you want me to shove an illegal, medieval horn-crippling device on my body!"
Spike sighed. "I can give you a hint, but please put the ounckse on first. I don't want this to happen again. Please."
"Hint. Now."
"If you look behind the castle, you can figure it out from that. But take the ounckse with you," said Spike.
As Twilight tried to grasp the ounckse with her magic, nothing happened.
"It's anti-magic, remember? Here," said Spike, placing it into a pair of saddlebags and strapping them onto Twilight. "Make sure you put it on before the Sun goes down, okay?"
Twilight Sparkle snorted angrily and cantered quickly out of the library.
Galloping around the side of her castle, Twilight encountered Applejack standing in front of a conspicuous yew sapling she didn't remember seeing before. There was a large patch of moss growing around its base.
"Twi, do you have the thingamajig from Spike?" she asked.
"Yes, in my saddlebags," said Twilight. "Are you blocking that tree for a reason, AJ?"
"I'll step aside when you put the thing on your horn, sugarcube. Don't make me rassle you to the ground like a piglet and do it for you," she said, narrowing her eyes.
"Let me see the tree first. I'll put on the ounckse if I need to," said Twilight.
"It ain't gonna work that way, hon. Right now's the only time of the week when the spell's weak enough we can actually get that thing on your horn," said Applejack. "You gotta do it right now. Then you can look."
"I promise you I'm not going to cast the spell. I can't even remember the spell right now! This is so stupid, just show me!" shouted Twilight.
Applejack cursed quietly, then jumped directly on top of Twilight, knocking the wind out of her. As Twilight gasped for breath, Applejack struggled to get access to the saddlebags.
"I'm an earth pony. I weigh ten times what you do, hon," said Applejack. "Don't struggle now, you're only gonna hurt yourself."
Twilight grimaced as her horn glowed, then her body vanished. She reappeared nude a few feet away, her saddlebags left behind. Applejack struggled to unbuckle the straps, then turned around to see Twilight gasping for breath. A magenta bubble shield covered her and the tree.
"Oh no. Twi, please don't do this," begged Applejack, dropping the saddlebags. "Please! We're your friends. Listen to us, for the love of friendship."
"All I want to do is know!" shouted Twilight, pushing aside the moss from a marble plate. The stone read:
Here Lies Princess Sparkling Star
Beloved Daughter of Princess Twilight Sparkle
She Will Be Missed for Eternity
b. 18-Dec-1005
d. 4-May-1006
"What... what is this?" said Twilight between labored gasps. She had mostly recovered her breath, but it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her a second time.
Applejack sighed. "It's what it looks like."
"But... I'm not married? I've never been pregnant!"
"You blocked your memory of the pregnancy. There was no marriage," explained Applejack. "Sometimes that is a thing that happens."
"...how? What happened to her?"
Applejack closed her eyes. "It was an accident."
"How? Was it somepony's fault?" asked Twilight.
Biting her lip, Applejack said nothing.
"Oh no... Oh Celestia no. I'm starting to remember."
Eyes widening, Applejack turned her attention back to the saddlebags, whipping out the ounckse. "Twilight, put this on, okay? Please!" she said, and threw the ounckse at the shield. It flew through the shield as though it were an illusion, and landed right at Twilight's hooves.
Applejack walked slowly back around the castle, carrying saddlebags and an unconscious Twilight Sparkle on her back.
Rainbow Dash trotted up. "So... Crap. It's not on her, is it," she said.
"Nope. Came closer this time, at least. Any word from Canterlot?"
"Starlight's managed to convince Moondancer to come down, even though she can't fully explain why we need her help," said Rainbow. "Starlight should still be under the hex, but Moondancer won't because she wasn't under the original one. This new plan might actually work."
Applejack sighed. "Maybe, maybe not. If it doesn't, it's past time we need to buck up and trick Celestia into figuring things out. Twi gettin' in a heap of trouble isn't ideal, but we can't let this go on for another month."
"No way, AJ. We're not sacrificing her royal career over a tragedy," said Rainbow Dash. "I won't let that happen. She'll be strong enough to beat this someday, I'm sure of it."
The rest of the way around the castle, neither pony said anything. Dash finally broke the silence as they reached the front door.
"Hay, Applejack?"
"Yeah?"
"This time... did Twilight at least decide to cast the spell before she remembered the entire thing?" asked Rainbow.
Applejack frowned. "Does she ever?"
Rainbow Dash sighed dejectedly. "Well, maybe next week," she said.
"There's always hope," said Applejack.
