“Gosh. Quite a ruckus going on out there, huh? Somethin’ going on today that I didn’t know about, Fluttershy?” The elderly store clerk hummed, counting out the necessary change for the big bag of mixed birdseed. Bit after bit stacked on top of each other at a speed that most would consider too slow.

The Pegasus shook her head warily as the distinctly angry-sounding shrieks continued to grow in volume. There was nothing planned in Ponyville as far as she was aware, but that didn’t count for too much as she was usually the last to know regardless. It sounded as though somepony had greatly agitated a Human something fierce, as she’d never heard one sound quite as hair-raising as the one outside.

She was concerned, briefly, as she thought about Hazama being outside with the angry Human, but quelled her own worry quickly enough. Hazama was smart, and would obviously know his own species enough to avoid agitating a member of it. Most likely, he was sitting on the bench she’d left him on wearing the same slightly bewildered expression he always had on his face.

Bits continued to clink quietly, the conversation dying out as the shouting finally started to die down. When it did, however, Fluttershy could start to hear other noises. The sound of a murmuring crowd, muffled but still present. The Human must have drawn a lot of attention, if the noise level was as high as it was.

And then another, much more worrying cry rang out.

“Detain the Human, quickly!”

The voice was far more authoritative than any scared Pony would be, too ‘in command’. It must have been the Royal Guard, alerted to the presence of the enraged Human from earlier. They must have gone to capture it before it hurt anyone, if the Human was as aggressive as he sounded.

Fluttershy turned back to face the clerk as he let out a croaky chuckle, shaking his head slightly as he placed the last couple of coins on top of the pile, sliding them over to her.

“Guess those watchhumans were useful for somethin’ after all.” He grinned, to Fluttershy’s confusion.

“W-Watchhumans? What are they?”

The clerk inclined his head to the side, giving the mare an inquisitive look.

“I guess you wouldn’t know about ‘em, what with how little you’re in town.” He shrugged, leaning back in his seat to examine the empty store, “But they’re these big ol’ Humans, specially bred for the Royal Guard. They aren’t good for fightin’, but they make one heck of an uproar if they see somethin’ suspicious. They’ve been put all over town ”

Fluttershy stopped short, just before putting the birdseed into a saddlebag. Watchhumans? Specially bred for the Royal Guard? She’d never heard of anything like that before. If the big commotion from a minute ago was any indication, they really could make a lot of noise.

It was actually kind of ingenious. Humans weren’t intelligent at all, aside from the obvious example, but they had fairly good pattern recognition. If you gave one some food in a certain spot, the very next day at around the same time they would return to that spot in search for food. She supposed a similar example could be applied to other things as well, such as teaching a Human to scream or attack if they saw somepony trying to pickpocket somepony else.

But why did the Royal Guard have these watchhumans dotted around Ponyville? The crime rate was closer to zero than almost any other area in the world, and the only moderately dangerous event of recent times was the potential infected Human outbreak, but that had been quelled without much issue at all, and even Hazama had apparently been able to deal with them on his own.

Wait.

Wait.

The gears turning in the Pegasi’s mind could almost be seen from the outside, as the clerk leaned over the counter in a concerned manner, growing slightly confused as the mare’s lower jaw dropped downwards.

Fluttershy was out of the store at a speed that would make Rainbow Dash feel threatened.

Hazama! The Guards were still looking for Hazama! That’s what all the watchhumans were searching for! It would be so easy to train a human to consider clothes on a Human or even green hair to be something to shout at. The intelligent Human was practically the easiest target to recognise in Equestria, save for one of the Princesses perhaps. With his expensive clothes and distinct features, it wouldn’t be hard to track his movements at all with all the eyewitnesses that he would garner.

The call of ‘Detain the Human’ obviously was not a friendly one.

Outside, a large group of Ponies was milling about, chattering loudly and discussing something that had evidently only just happened. Fluttershy looked around, and was quick to spot the trio of flower vendors fanning their faces with their hooves dramatically. She wasn’t sure if they were pretending to almost faint, or if they really were that sensitive to excitement, but she approached them nevertheless.

Upon spotting her trotting towards them, the mares immediately appeared to sober up, waving cheerily at the Pegasus as though nothing at all had just happened.

“Hey Fluttershy!” The trio spoke in unison, each waving a forehoof in her direction as grins split their faces. And then the floodgates opened.

“Did’ja see what happened?”

“We were there! Right next to it!”

“It was horrifying!”

“So scary…”

“We could have died of fright!”

“Everypony was screaming!”

“Yeah…”

Fluttershy blinked as she processed the sea of words that she’d just been swamped with.

“U-Uhm. No, I was just in the pet store when ‘it’ happened.” She spoke tentatively, “What… What was ‘it’?

Bad question. The trio shared a conspiratorial glance, nodding at one another as Roseluck drew in a breath so deep that Pinkie Pie, hard at work, paused to wince.

“Well we were just walking up to the market to set up shop when we saw this weird Human with clothes sitting on a bench and we thought ‘well that’s a bit weird’ and then,”

The next mare took over, “And then the watchhuman started growling and screaming. It was really strange, but the Human on the bench looked more weirded out than anyone. I didn’t even know Humans could have facial expressions like that! But then,”

And the final Earth Pony rounded it off with: “So then we saw the Royal Guard coming closer to the Humans, which was pretty handy because it was getting a little frightening with how loud the watchhuman was. We heard them talking about Shining Armour wanting them to take the weird Human in, which was also a bit odd considering that it seemed really docile and confused, so they obviously weren’t looking to kill it. But then when everypony started getting closer to watch the action, the Human started to get frightened, standing up and growling at all of us. It wasn’t his fault, really. It must have been really claustrophobic in the middle of all that. And then…”

Fluttershy braced herself for the bad news. Everything said thus far was merely confirming her suspicions, but it was better than she feared at least. Her darker thoughts had jumped immediately to some less-than-savoury things.

“And then he ran off!” The three mares spoke as one again, “He just bolted right through the crowd, faster than any Human we’ve ever seen in our lives! Captain Shining Armour’s deputy had the most hilarious look on his face, like someone just swiped some candy from his hooves. Then the Guards all ran after it. They’ve probably caught it by now with how many Guards they’ve had around town.”

With the whole story out, The yellow Pegasus took a step back, sighing in a mixture of relief and surprising irritation. She knew from experience that Hazama was very fast, especially after both encounters with Rainbow Dash, so he was pretty likely to escape from them. The issue came from the fact that he would likely never be able to get into town again, and the Royal Guard would probably redouble their efforts to catch him now that they too had seen one of the many strange quirks held by the intelligent Human.

“W-Wow. That sounds like…Quite a story, girls. I need to go home, I think…” Fluttershy spoke, giving the trio a weak smile that they returned with another hearty wave as she walked off, having no idea where Hazama had run off to, and no way of finding him. It was better to just return home and wait for a sign of him there.

She heard whispers from behind her.

“Wait, wasn’t that Human hers?”

“Oh, wait, you’re right! She had him at the castle when the infected Humans attacked…”

“Wonder why the Guards want him…?”

Fluttershy kept walking, ignoring the several attempts to draw her attention from nearby Ponies.

Hazama watched the orange horse warily as she looked him up and down in the same manner, a forehoof under her muzzle in thought. And he could tell she was thinking hard because she was humming, which bugged him more than it should.

‘Seriously, it’s like these idiots show exactly what they’re doing at all times. Everything’s so unbearably literal here!’ He grumbled internally, resisting the urge to hold onto his hat and put a hand in his pocket, making the accurate assumption that giving her more reason to examine him was probably a bad idea.

He saw the mare cock her head to one side, and did the same with a deadpan, confused expression on his face, drawing a slight chuckle from the horse.

“Well, ah can’t rightly just let y’all go walkin’ around, ‘specially not with Twi’s big brother on th’ lookout for ya…” she pondered to herself.

Hazama felt like raising an eyebrow. ‘So this mare knows I’m suspected of something, but still feels fit to keep me around? If I was told that a potentially violent animal was wanted by the NOL, I wouldn’t want to keep it around.’

It was a bit strange. The mare didn’t seem even remotely shocked at his sudden appearance, and the look she was giving him did not fill him with confidence. As much as he didn’t care for the opinions of others, this was starting to get a little uncomfortable.

She took a step closer with a mindful eye, gauging his reaction to her approach. When he didn’t show any signs of aggression, she took another, coming to stand directly in front of him as he stared down at her. She stared back up unflinchingly, and he was almost impressed. She gave a semi-appreciative hum.

“Ya seem pretty fine to me. Dunno why th’ Guard have it out for ya. Is Fluttershy around? I gotta talk ta her.”

Hazama blinked.

Applejack blinked, and then shook her head with a snort.

“What am ah doin’, chattin’ to a Human?”

He felt the desire to point out that she was continuing to do so, but restrained himself. The mare was a friend of Fluttershy from what he could gather, so this was a good of a place to hide out as any. He could only hope that this one wouldn’t get hostile about his presence.

The mare drew his attention back to her with a strange whistle, short and sharp. When she saw he was looking at her, she did it again, taking a few steps away from him while looking back over her side.

Was she…Trying to get him to move by whistling? He felt somewhat miffed by the assumption that someone would get him to move by something as pathetic as a whistle. What was he, cattle? A cow to be herded into a pen? Absolutely not.

“C’mon, git! Ah got a special treat for y’all if’n ya come along~!” The mare trilled with a sing-song lilt, waving her hoof forward to usher him forward.

‘Moo.’ Hazama joked to himself as he stepped forward, drawing a satisfied grin from the horse as she began to canter forward, along the columns of trees bearing more of those apples that he’d seen before.

It wasn’t that the idea of the treat is what got him to follow along, but it was the fact that the mare was obviously leading him away from the open orchard, which was fine by him. The less chance he had to be seen by the Guard, the better. He didn’t doubt that they were still following him, and they can’t have been that far behind at this point.

The duo sauntered along the treeline steadily, not too fast or overly slow. Every now and then, the mare would give him a once-over in a considering manner, each time nodding and grunting to herself as though confirming something in her mind. Hazama didn’t care overly much for whatever the mare thought of him, but he found himself slightly curious as to how horses judged a Human’s appearance nonetheless.

He heard something grunt from a small distance away, and then a heavy smack of something connecting against wood. A few smaller noises afterwards, several objects thumping against the ground.

When Hazama looked over, he started to see why the orange horse had not been intimidated by him in the least.

The Human he was looking at stood a head and a half taller than himself, and had definitely been bred and built for power. With skin shaded a bronze-like tan, the male’s body was obscenely wide, and all of it was pure muscle, bulging outwards from every limb. Hazama even swore that he could see muscles on top of muscles, but he couldn’t be sure.

However, as impressive as most others would find the specimen, he knew better. This type of muscle was hard to compensate for, and made moving cumbersome and striking much more difficult. It made one look big and strong, but wasn’t actually helpful in the long run. A better example of stupidly high power would be Azrael, but Hazama didn’t much feel like giving the Mad Dog any credit for anything. Whether he won the fight or not, he could still sometimes feel a phantom ache in his arm after taking a hit there. Considering that Hazama’s sense of pain was dulled dramatically, this was saying something.

He paused upon sighting such a monstrosity, standing in place to watch it at work. It slammed a fist against a tree, shaking it to its roots. The mare at his side apparently didn’t mind this, and simply nodded in approval as a large quantity of apples fell from the branches above, landing in the wide baskets set on the ground.

“C’mon, no need t’ feel jealous of ol’ Magnus here. He’s a special ‘un.” The farm horse chuckled, tugging at his suit sleeve to urge him forward again, to which Hazama agreed with by starting to walk again.

The green haired Human smiled to himself when he got the chance after the mare did one of her impromptu check-ups again, shaking his head. Jealous of a wild Human with some muscle on his bones? Not likely.

The pair approached a barn at the end of the path. It was quite an impressive structure for how rustic it looked. The wooden beams were tall and very wide, obviously built to last. Inevitably, it was that same red-and-white colour scheme that everyone knew a barn to be, even if Hazama had never seen one personally before. Barns were yet another relic from a time long gone. It was almost whimsical, but he was never much one for whimsy.

Coming to a stop, the mare turned to face him as she held a hoof out, bringing Hazama to a halt. A wide smile painted her expression when this happened, and he realised with an internal sigh that he appeared to be very well trained now that she knew he would stop and start upon command.

She drew closer, coming within a few inches of him and started to circle around, looking him up and down from all sides. Nothing unusual about that, he supposed. Anyone would be interested in a pet with a full set of clothes.

Then he felt her prod the back of his leg, and he buckled his knee forward in response after she applied a bit more pressure.

“Lets Ponies touch ‘im without complainin’, even from where he can’t see…” She muttered to herself, as though adding to a mental checklist, and only then did Hazama understand what she was doing. All this time, she’d been making some sort of official diagnosis of his ability to be a good pet. He would have let out a sigh of relief: this test would be absolutely simple to pass.

She shook his arm a little bit, judging his lack of reaction. When she went to shake it back and forth much harder, only then did he pull it from her grasp with a slight frown. He did this to make himself seem more realistic, rather than some perfect Human, which seemed to work as the mare nodded lightly.

“Pretty darn docile… That’s a good sign.”

She rolled up his sleeve, surprisingly delicate with it for one who sounded like they wouldn’t know a suit from a trench-coat. Whatever she saw on his arms, she approved of it, as he could tell from the pleased hum. He knew he wasn’t overtly muscled, but as many of his enemies would attest, he was a lot stronger than one would expect upon closer inspection.

“Whew! That’s a fine bit of muscle there. Fluttershy’s pretty darn lucky t’ own a Human like you!” the orange horse grinned,

The mare finally pulled away and circled around to his front again, staring up at him with a certain glint in her eye.

“Yup. Y’all are perfect for the job!” She spoke proudly, puffing out her chest in approval and tilting her hat towards him for the same reason. Hazama wasn’t so sure.

‘Job? What job could she possibly mean? Hitting those trees for apples like that other brute?’ He thought, ‘I’d rather not, if it’s all the same.’

Because as much as he would probably get more work done in a day than the horses could get done in a week, there were better uses of his time, abilities, and effort.

Thankfully, the tree-hitting work was not to be his job. Or so it seemed, as the horse beckoned him towards the barn. He stepped forward quickly enough, the ghost of a smirk appearing on the mare’s face as her earlier hypothesis about his obedience was apparently proven correct.

When he was standing directly in front of the heavy double doors, the mare pulled one open a crack and rather unceremoniously dragged him into the weirdly darkened room.

“Y’all have some fun in there, mmkay? Ah got high hopes for ya! We got a lot to make up for after that darn infection hit us hard.” The horse said with a wink and an accompanying laugh, swinging the door shut behind him.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. It was heavy and pungent, but he couldn’t place it for the life of him, it was like nothing he’d smelled before.

He squinted in the gloom, noticing the small windows in the upper half of the barn that sent beams of sunlight into the room. His eyes were slowly getting used to the change in light level, just as he heard something shift in what sounded like hay nearby. It was then that he noticed that only the middle segment of the barn was mostly blacked out, and lining the sides of the room were several columns of paddocks, with their gates wide open.

Hazama took an uneasy step forward, and the shuffling noise could be heard again. Something was stirring, as though groggy and waking up from a deep sleep. Actually, a lot of somethings, all along the room.

He heard something heavy thunk into place behind him, and he whipped around. Through the tiny crack in the middle of the double doors, he could see a very large portion in the middle that blocked any light from coming through. He pushed at the door experimentally, and it didn’t budge. He was locked in. Another push, and still nothing. Whatever the horse had put into place was pretty heavy. It wouldn’t be too hard to break out if he actually wanted to, but he supposed that he should see what the horse actually wanted from him.

Footsteps from behind. Soft, muffled, barefoot. Several sets, then a lot more. Hazama took a moment to think about the way the mare had spoken about him, and the way she’d been judging him, and especially what she’d said to him just before he got put inside here.

Groaning out loud, he turned around, and was met with exactly the sight that he feared.

An entire crowd of Human females, all gazing at him with a hunger that was not the stomach-kind, and all absolutely stark naked. Against his better judgement, he spent a good second or two just admiring the group’s assets of varying sizes. Small ones were the norm, but there were a good number or larger attractions to be spotted around, which Hazama particularly found he approved of.

As if to make the sight into even more ridiculous wish-fulfilment for most men, a large portion of the group turned around and bent low to the ground, pointing their many sexes in his direction needily, some obviously dripping with excitement. That explained the scent, at least.

They were in heat. Of course they were. Of Course they fucking were. They were more like animals than he thought, and that didn’t make him entirely comfortable with being where he was. Hell, he wasn’t 100% on this from the get-go.

‘Sorry ladies, but I’m going to have to decline your, ah… Very generous offers. I don’t even think I could provide you with what you’re obviously looking for, and what your owner wants me to give you. So I’ll just be on my merry way, and… Are those voices I hear outside?’

And sure enough, upon listening in just a little bit harder, he could hear conversation drifting through the door, or the closing lines of one at any rate.

“Thank y’all for yer concern, Mister Armour, but I ain’t seen hide nor hair of no green-haired Human ‘round here.”

“That’s quite alright, Applejack. It is my job after all. In fact, you have females in that barn, do you not?”

“’Matter of fact I do. Just finished checkin’ there myself, so the varmint y’all’re after ain’t there neither.”

‘Oh, you clever little bitch. This had better not go where I think it’s going to go.’ Hazama groaned, hearing the various women beside him start to call out quietly, making noises that sounded uncomfortably like moaning for his taste. Surprisingly, though most would have called it immoral, he found himself growing interested in more ways than one.

Years upon years of absolutely no sexual contact, even his own due to lack of time, had made him increasingly pent up, though he’d never speak those words out loud ever. It wasn’t like he cared about it being immoral either: if he was worried about morals then his life was the wrong one to lead, and that was putting it nicely.

“Yes, and that’s good, but I think it would be best if we kept watch over the farm, and this barn particularly, for the time being. The Human is lost, and this is a large concentration of females in their heat season, if what you say is true. He wouldn’t possibly be able to resist that level of pheromones, so he’ll likely come by this way. That’s when my squad and I can catch him.” The voice that Hazama vaguely recognised as Shining Armour’s spoke out, to which the farm mare vocally approved of. If he didn’t know better, he’d say there were undertones to her speech that were smug as hell. He almost felt proud that another being could reach that level of hidden smarm, especially to a Captain’s face.

But he was also somewhat pleased with the Captain’s words himself.

‘And it looks like I don’t have any other option to pass the time. Sounds like I’ll be hiding here for a good while, after all~’ He grinned widely in a snake-like manner, removing his hat from his head and causing it to vanish into nothingness, ready to be summoned back if he so willed it.

Kicking aside his morals, he turned to face the eager group of females with a spring in his step.

‘Aaaalrighty then! Which of you to go for first, I wonder…?’

Author's Note

Ok. Ok. Ok. First things first: The chapter's ending.

In every YHAY fic I've read, the protagonist is always disgusted at the thought of doing anything with other Humans. However, I would argue that Hazama really doesn't care much at all, and if he enjoys something then he honestly doesn't give a shit how he goes about it or the possible ramifications. It is reasonably in character that, circumstances being what they are, he would be pretty OK with the whole deal.

And honestly so should some of the other Humans that end up in this version of Equestria. Funny how all of them are patron saints of right and wrong, and never show any lapse in judgement unless it drives the plot forward, hm?

Important Audience Question: SOLVED. It is not being written out. For those new readers who don't know what I mean, ignore this message.

Music time! And here's 'Awakening the Chaos', which could be considered a metaphor for what I did this chapter. Oh well!