Your Human and You: Serpent's Redemption

"Please? It's for your own good, I promise..."

Fluttershy begged the Human yet again. If she didn't know any better, she'd claim that he was feeling indignated.

Ever since she started talking to animals, Humans were the ones that evaded her understanding the most. Other creatures could share pleasant conversations with her at any time, but the most she could get out of a Human was a general sense of their emotions. Even so, this one felt quieter than usual. Like a scolded foal stewing in displeasure.

That was a startlingly accurate description of what he looked like, actually. He had taken residence on the beanbag usually reserved for Harry the Bear, and had possibly the most unimpressed look that Fluttershy had ever seen, trumping even that of Twilight's reaction whenever Rainbow Dash used to break the library windows.

She just didn't understand what to do with him. He seemed to be able to follow basic commands, but anything regarding his clothes was a no-go, even though she could see patches of dampness around the ankles of...Oh, what did Rarity call that type of clothing? Slacks, perhaps.

Her eyes widened. Rarity! She was meant to be coming over for brunch at eleven! And it was currently...

Oh dear.

Hazama quirked an eyebrow as the horse performed one of the largest intakes of oxygen he'd ever seen. Her eyes had started flitting wildly around the room, and the wings on her back which he'd failed to notice before started to flutter, carrying her around the room.

"Dusty... Dirty...Oh no, no no no and I have a Human here! Two! No no no...!" Her gaze slid towards him, still seated on the beanbag like the good unintelligent creature he was.

Truth be told, he was highly paranoid of his chosen seat. The amount of animals that the horse kept, how many of them had shed fur all over it? He hadn't found anything upon initial inspection, but he hadn't been overly thorough, else he'd have drawn suspicion from the surprisingly gullible horse.

He just had to be glad that the woman had been corralled upstairs without hesitation. He had far too much to deal with without the attempted seduction, thank you very much.

Though now that he thought about it, circumstances in mind... It wasn't like he had any plans for the foreseeable future, and succumbing would help with his act...

...Hazama couldn't quite believe that he'd just considered that. Nor was he entirely comfortable with how close the horse had flown to him, hovering about a meter from his face. A hoof was placed under her chin, obviously considering something.

"Maybe...Maybe it's not so bad... I don't think you'd listen to me if I told you to go anywhere, not after I promised food..."

He resisted the urge to smirk. She was right, he wouldn't move. For several very good reasons, in fact! Firstly, 'failing' to understand some commands would help his disguise. Secondly, from the way she was speaking, she was expecting a visitor and it presented a good opportunity to observe and gather information. Third, he was kind of an asshole even at the best of times.

Now at that, he did have to smile just a bit. It wasn't every day that someone could annoy Yuuki Terumi enough for him to call someone else a prick, after all.

Of the many memories of world-threatening events that had transpired in his wake, the thought of pissing off Terumi would stay with him forever, Phenomenon Intervention be damned. The bastard deserved it.

Ragna thought he'd had it bad. And to be fair to him, which Hazama usually wasn't, the Reaper had been put through some serious shit. But Hazama couldn't bring himself to be particularly sorry for the guy after getting run through a couple of times with that stupidly sized sword of his. That, and at the very least Ragna had been under the impression he was free for most of his life, striving towards his own goals.

Hazama never had that luxury. Even if he found some of Terumi's schemes utterly hilarious and admittedly interesting, there were other things he'd wanted to do with his life. Like, for instance, using Terumi has a vessel and seeing how he liked it.

But that would never happen now, and Hazama would hopefully never have to deal with the man ever again. Even if he dived after the Boundary after him, which he doubted Terumi cared enough to do, there was a quintillion to one chance that they'd end up in even remotely the same place.

A light tapping at the door, which in some reality could be considered a knock.

The horse yelped, freezing in place even as her wings kept gently flapping.

"Fluttershyyyy? Are you in, darling?"

The yellow mare spared a glance at the Hazama, who'd taken to idly twirling his hat around on his index finger as he lost himself in thought concerning the things he'd never done back home. Fluttershy, for her part, thought that it was just his interest in the clothing that had been placed on him shining through. Shaking her head, she lowered to the ground and headed for the door.

Hazama had heard one sentence from the newcomer and already he thought he might have made a mistake in wanting to listen in to the conversation. She sounded like she spoke in the same manner as that creepy dancer guy Amane.

"I'm here...But, uhm, I think you should know before you come in that I-" Fluttershy spoke up, only to be cut off by her friend.

"Nonsense, darling! I'm not going to be upset that you haven't had time to clean up!"

The door handle started to turn down. Fluttershy meeped in apprehension, her nature not allowing her to speak up and prevent her friend from walking inside.

From around the door, a pale white face peered through, one side of her face concealed by a swathe of purple hair. To Hazama's interest, she appeared to lack the wings that the yellow one had. Instead, a horn jutted from the center of her head, twirling ridges forming a pattern in the bone.

She also had her eyes closed, a hoof outstretched as she gestured around the room. "See Fluttershy, your house is absolutely fi...ne..." the new mare spoke, her grandiose voice trailing off and getting stuck on the 'n' sound as her now open eyes met the Human in the room. Her hoof lowered to the ground.

Silence reigned for a solid minute. In between the two, Fluttershy's eyes few from Rarity to the Human at a speed that made it seem as though they were bouncing. Exaggerated beads of sweat seemed to shoot from her face, teeth grit as she gauged her friend's reaction.

The white mare, for her part, stood and stared, blinking owlishly. A Human. She knew that Fluttershy took care of Humans, sometimes, but not often. She'd also known that Fluttershy had recently taken in a female Human for Hard Sell while he went on vacation to Manehatten, but she had heard no tell of any males. But that was ignoring the biggest issue.

Her head turned so slowly one could almost hear it creaking.

"Fluttershy, dear..."

"Ohmygosh i'm so so sorry Rarity I'd forgotten all about today i'll just get him upstairs and-"

The white horse put her hoof to her rambling friend's mouth, shaking her head, the stunned expression still on her face.

Hazama shifted uncomfortably as the new arrival's gaze slid back over to him. He'd been watched. He'd been examined before. He'd been scanned before. But nothing, nothing compared to the intensity with which this horse stared at him.

"Fluttershy, dear... Breathe." The winged one did so. "Ok. Good. Now... Explain. Please."

'So. That one's name is Fluttershy. Aaand the white one is Rarity.' Hazama thought. It took every single ounce of willpower in his body to not burst into hysterical laughter. He already thought they looked girlier than physically possible, but with names like THAT?! He would never be able to take them even remotely seriously.

Rarity had to raise an eyebrow as something strange flickered across the Human's face. A twitch so small that an untrained eye would have completely missed it, but it was definitely there. It was the face of someone who'd just been told a horrible joke but was having trouble holding in laughter anyway.

She would never admit it, but she'd tuned out Fluttershy fairly quickly after her fifth apology in a minute, and had instead resorted to examining the Human currently lounging on the beanbag in the corner.

The first thing she noticed were, of course, the clothes. Were they attached to any Pony, and she'd have been all over them, gushing about every stitch. The suit was a perfect shade of black, and alongside every other article of clothing appeared to be specifically tailored with high skill to meet the client's needs. She disagreed with the long coat-tails, however, especially as they were draped over the back of the makeshift seat.

The shirt and trousers were nothing overly special, but still earned major points for working around a Human's form, which very few tailors were able to pull off. She herself might have been able to do so, if not for her disdain for the species in general.

What did catch her attention, however, was the fedora resting on a finger. It, too, looked specially made for him. The material was the same colour as the suit, but had a strip of darker black wrapped around the base.

Even stranger were the shoes. Shoes! Those were definitely impressive to see. Shoes for Ponies were much easier to design given the shape of their hooves, but Humans were much harder to work with. Even then, whichever Pony had fashioned them had done an extraordinary job.

Back to his face, however, Rarity immediately picked up on the hair colour, and tutted under her breath. Green was...Not her favourite colour to work with. Especially not a green as bright as that. His owner had been doing so well on his fashion choices up until then, too...

Fluttershy had stopped rambling soon after it became evident that Rarity was engrossed in the Human's outfit. The Pegasus let out a sigh of relief. It could have been much worse. Lucky that the Human's owner had such expensive tastes, else her friend wouldn't have had something to distract her from the fact that she had to share space with a Human.

It was no secret to their friend group that the fashionista couldn't stand to be around them. Not after what one of them had done to Sweetie Belle, definitely, but even beforehand the mare had found them dull, garish, and rather annoying. They weren't cute like dogs, and they weren't anywhere near as elegant as a cat. In short, there was really no reason to have one other than status. Even that only really applied to Canterlot.

Which is why it was odd that this Human had clothes more expensive than what most Canterlot residents gave their Humans combined. You saw one with the odd shirt or, in a female's case, a tiara, but a full getup like the one before her?

Well, if not for the fact that it was worn by a Human, she'd be a lot happier.

She glanced to the right and saw Fluttershy biting her lower lip, probably waiting for her to get angry at the lack of forewarning. To her surprise, it was the yellow mare that spoke up first.

"Are...Are you ok with it? I don't want to push him out into the cold..."

Hazama smirked internally, imagining that the white mare couldn't possibly get annoyed at a friend as downtrodden as the winged horse currently was.

"That's...That's fine, dear. I'd like to get a better look at that hat at some point today, however. I could quite easily make a line of them to fit Ponies. Imagine the possibilities!"

Hazama stopped smiling. Losing his look to horses as girly as this? Not a snowball's chance in hell.

...

Wait, did she just call her species 'Ponies'?!

If this kept up, he didn't think he'd be able to stop himself from curling up on the ground in gut-busting laughter. He got the impression that miiiiight possibly freak them the fuck out.

Which meant he was seriously considering it.