Your Human and You: Serpent's Redemption

by TheThirdBomb

Giving your Snake some exercise.

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Is that how people get rejected on this planet?’ Hazama mused the two second-ugliest things he’d ever seen started to shamble towards him, picking up speed slowly, ‘How very harsh’. As frankly disgusting as they were, the mass of insect-ridden goo known as Arakune was a hard act to follow.

The black patches caused by whatever ‘infection’ these Humans apparently had made them look like corpses with rotting flesh, eyes even more dull and lifeless than the other people on this planet.

Speaking of the infection, what the fuck? What kind of infection could make something look and act like this? It was like something out of a cheap zombie flick, except unfortunately real and thrice as disgusting to be in the presence of.

Were they hostile? Most likely. The Ponies wouldn’t have completely abandoned the town if they posed no threat at all. And there was something in their gaze that set off some warning signs in the back of his head. The way they moved, and that godforsaken moaning…

Was this disease curable? This was a very important question to have answered, but he sincerely hoped not. If it could be reversed, then it wouldn’t paint him in a good light to slaughter them both, which was well within his capabilities. Don’t want some angry horses shouting at you for killing their pet or whatever, even if they were mindless piles of dead skin at the time.

Then again… If he was just a ‘Human’, then he wouldn’t know any better? Self-defence, right? Nobody could fault him for that. He’d have to refrain from using Ouroboros, however, as the wounds wouldn’t match up to what a Human of this world could do. That went for his knives, too.

Hazama’s lips curled upwards. Self-handicaps were ever so much fun, and he imagined the more mundane method of fighting would come in handy for his guise.

These thoughts took place in the span of about ten seconds, and by this time the infected Humans had come within five meters of him. Where some animals would have stopped warily at this point, these people sped up.

A harsh, otherworldly shriek pierced the air, their jaws hanging wide and unhinged, though not in the intentional way that some reptiles would. Instead, they seemed to be wounded already, chunks of bone jutting out from pus-oozing lacerations. The noise made Hazama cringe, even as he watched one of the two drop down to all fours, starting to run like a Dog would.

He waited in place, hands behind his back as the more animalistic one sprinted past his friend and seemed to slow for the briefest moment. Its knees bent back, dropping into something similar to a proper race-ready pose. It screeched that awful sound again just as it released all the tension in its legs, lunging forwards at a speed completely unprecedented of something that seemed to have issues standing just a moment ago.

Confident that he was alone and free to act however he wanted within reason, Hazama allowed a full sadistic smirk to spread across his lips, amber eyes narrowing. One hand strayed from his back to rest on his hat, tilting it downwards slightly over his face.

Turning his body sideways, he brought his right leg into the air at incredible speed, crashing into the already shattered jaw of the pouncing Human with a sickening crunching sound. While the signature green-and-black energy pillar of the Serpent’s Infernal Rapture did not appear, the impact of the strike was more than enough to send the attacker flying into the air, the lower half of its jaw sent spiralling in a different direction.

He took a moment to agonise over the blood and…other unidentified fluids on his shoe before moving into action again.

The infected Human still sprinting on two legs hadn’t paused for a moment at the complete loss of his companion, but now had its hand outstretched as it came closer.

This one was larger than the other, lither Human, but not by much. It was tall and bulky, though its skin and bone had atrophied somewhat from whatever disease plagued them.

Nevertheless, Hazama easily leaned backwards from the horizontal swipe at his torso, and used the momentum gathered by coming forward again to leap off the ground, his knee planting itself directly in the Human’s neck.

It made a sound eerily similar to choking as it slid back along the dirt, already preparing to swing again. The strike hadn’t been enough to put it down, but that was never Hazama’s intention.

A green circle appeared behind him, with three smaller circles floating around it. From out of nowhere, a metallic object similar to a snake’s head shot forth, attached to an almost solid black chain that was outlined in luminous green. It came to an abrupt halt an instant later, hanging in mid-air with absolutely no momentum.

Hazama’s grin widened as he allowed Ouroboros to pull him backwards, effortlessly avoiding the retaliation blow that had been attempted. While he wouldn’t allow himself to use it for injuring the Humans due to possible aroused suspicions, it was a different matter entirely to use it for mobility.

The Human, not expecting his target to defy simple logic with its movement, had overcompensated with his swing. It was leaning too far forward, having intended to gore its target on its claws.

Hazama looked to the right, and saw exactly the shadow he wanted to see. He turned back to the Human that appeared to be falling over in slow-motion.

With extraordinary speed, Ouroboros shot over the Human’s head, freezing in mid-air once again as Hazama flew forward and upwards.

When he was directly above the musclebound zombie, he shot another chain downwards, dragging himself down to the floor, kicking up dust as he landed.

His eyes shining with glee, Hazama grabbed the back of the Human’s neck with one hand, clenching with a grip of a strength unexpected by a being of his size. He lifted upwards, letting go and twisting his body 180 degrees at the same time, jutting his leg forward. In doing so, he propelled the Human towards the shadowy spot on the floor.

A single second passed, and the other Human came crashing down from the sky, landing on top of the bulkier Human in a heap.

This had all taken place in the span of a few seconds. It was a good thing he hadn’t used the proper version of Serpent’s Infernal Rapture, else the first Human might never have come down at all.

Time for the finishing touch...’ He mused, hands slipping into his pockets as he stepped towards the bodies, bones too broken to try anything funny.

These Humans seemed to be fairly strong for what were essentially wild animals, and Hazama himself didn’t look nearly strong enough or (he hoped) smart enough to fight them off. Therefore, he had to make it look like an accident had taken them out of the battle.

His eyes flickered to the abandoned market, focusing in on the stall he’d taken the apple from before.

‘Well, it can’t be helped. Requisition in times of duress, and all that~!’ Hazama chuckled to himself as he sauntered behind the stand. Taking care to put the basket of apples on the ground, not before taking one for himself again, he then used one hand to tip the wooden structure forward. ‘Thank you so very much for playing, but now I bid you adieu!’

The last echoes of disgusting moaning were silenced as the fairly heavy stall fell atop the two Humans, crushing them against themselves and the dirt.

Silence reigned until Hazama decided to take a bite out of the apple in his other hand, marvelling at the taste somewhat. He only slightly regretted ruining the stall that sold them.

But now he didn’t quite know what to do. The threat was dealt with, but how were any of the Ponies to know that? How would they come back? And for that matter, why had he been abandoned by the horses helping him?!

He wasn’t actually angry over that in any way as it had allowed him a workout. Not a particularly exciting workout, but he’d take what he could get.

His eyes scanned the broken corpses before him, and particularly at the blood the spattered the ground, tainted with pools of black.

His chewing slowed as he looked down to the shoe he’d kicked the first Human with.

It wasn’t overly ruined, to his relief, but there were red splotches sprinkled over them. This wasn’t so bad for the plain black areas, but the white patches at the toes were an issue.

If that shit stains, I’m going to be very disappointed.’ He thought, taking another bite from his appropriated apple.

He spent a minute or so savouring the fruit, until it too was done. He tossed it into the same bush as before on his way past, figuring that he may as well go explore the place, as it didn’t seem that the town’s residents would get the memo anytime soon, and would likely take forever to return.

Hands firmly in his pockets again, he took a moment to reassert his dull, lifeless disguise, flattening out his lips and removing the enjoyment from his eyes as he turned to look for the first place he should go.

Then he had to look up. And up. And up some more, until he finally saw the top of the giant crystal structure placed directly in the centre of the town.

How’d I miss that on the way here?’ He blinked owlishly, staring at the overly intricate patterns that adorned the…Tree? Palace? Just what the hell was it, anyway?

Seriously, how did he completely miss something like that?

Yes, it had been very misty earlier in the day, but there’s no way a giant, shiny crystal what-ever-this-was could have been concealed that easily!

It did, however, give Hazama an inkling as to where the townsfolk were, especially if the large, ornate doors were any indication. If they were as thick as they looked, it would be hard work for even the more muscular of the two infected Humans to damage. The people/Ponies must have gathered inside as protection. Safety in numbers and safety in giant-crystal-whatever-this-was. Made sense.

Shrugging to himself, he made his way down the path and headed to the building.


“Everypony! Everypony please, calm down! Everything is going to be fine!”

Twilight spoke large, grand words, but sounded less than convincing given that she herself was massively on edge.

The crowd in the throne room had huddled into small friend and acquaintance groups, fearfully discussing the damage that would be done by the Humans before they’d be apprehended and dealt with.

The flower sisters were the worst offenders, as usual. Standing on some boxes as some kind of soapbox, they’d been essentially heralding the end-times of the world. Everypony had been utterly ignoring the trio, used to their shenanigans by now, but a small group of Humans, some of average age and others just children, had gathered to listen in apparent unblinking awe.

Other Humans were with their owners, sitting by their hooves, occasionally growling at the door as they seemed to vaguely understand what was happening, in the same way that any other animal could understand a Pony’s fear.

In essence, Twilight was being completely ignored, everypony else too absorbed in their own matters to listen. Probably just as well, she wasn’t good at making inspiring speeches. That was a duty better left to any of the other princesses.

It’s not like they needed to listen either way. She’d placed heavy defences on the door once she had been sure everypony was inside, and wasn’t that a chore and a half? Some Ponies were occupied when the bell had rung and the call had come to get to safety in the palace.

Baths were left to cool, stalls were abandoned with baskets full of produce, playground toys were left on the spot, and three of the Ponies that Twilight cared most about were still missing.

She had agonised over the decision to close the door when Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash were still missing, but she knew that the latter was in no danger due to her flight abilities, and the former two were together having brunch as far as her knowledge went. They’d heard the warnings, she hoped.

So the entrance had been swung shut, locked, and sealed with several layers of magical defences designed to react to touch. Ponies knew not to touch the doors when they were closed in times of crises such as this. If somepony was still stranded outside, then Twilight’s heart went out to them, but unless she was alerted to their presence and could teleport out and retrieve them, then they were on their own.

The panicking had gone down significantly since everypony had first gotten to safety, but it had been half an hour now, and no response from the Royal Guard yet. It would take at least twenty minutes from first call to get a message to Canterlot , and another thirty to get a platoon of battlemages and Pegasi to arrive.

Normally she would likely be able to deal with such a threat herself, but this was on a whole other scale.

The infection had reached Applejack’s Human stables. Who knew how many had been infected before the farm mare had managed to corral the remaining ones away and into the castle?

By her friend’s count, she’d only lost seven total to the infection as she’d luckily been doing her rounds of the stables when it had hit. But that wasn’t a definite, even if Bic Mac had barricaded five of them in the barn. The other two had escaped to town, but luckily the call had long since gone out of the impending danger.

Almost everypony’s head suddenly whipped around at once as the familiar sound of several lightning bolt striking something echoed through the room, dulling all conversation to a quiet murmur.

Twilight took the opportunity to stand, relieved that the door’s magical defences had worked as intended.

“Please don’t worry, everypony! That was the lightning trap that I set going off! Please back away from the door. We need to seal the infected Human properly until the Guard arrives!”

Everypony did as asked, squishing further into the already cramped throne room as their Princess flew to the front of the crowd.

Applejack emerged to her left, having waited by the door as the Pony with one of the biggest personal stakes in the outbreak.

“Sugarcube… Ya think it worked? D’ya reckon they’re still awake and swingin’?” the mare drawled, accent currently thicker than usual as a testament to her panic.

Twilight didn’t think there was any way that the Humans were still conscious out there, but both Ponies held an ear out regardless. No noise, just the slight crackle in the air that came after lightning had struck.

She shrugged.

“I think so, Applejack. I’m about to open the door, you get ready with the rope, ok?” she asked, to which her friend nodded, lifting a spool of thick rope that was already getting its end tied into a lasso.

Once the mare had finished her work, she nodded meaningfully at Twilight, who nodded back.

“On three.”

“Got it.”

“One!” Twilight called out, loud and clear to ensure that everypony else in the room knew what was going on. No sense in anypony being within the range of danger in the very slight chance that the Humans were still awake.

“Two…” Applejack started to twirl the lasso in her hooves, ready to restrain her Humans

“Three!” Twilight all but shouted, her magic wrenching the doors wide apart.

A very confused and slightly singed Hazama was promptly draped in rope, blinking at the mass of staring Ponies.


Author's Note

So that was a fun chapter, I would say. A little bit of fighting, nowhere near the extent of what Hazama can do, but still neat.

I'd also like to say a big thank you for everyone who's liked and favourited the story thus far! It's garnered more support than I ever expected.

And four unexplained dislikes, which as far as i'm concerned are the mark of any halfway decent story.

I don't actually know if favourites mean all that much, here, but i'll take what I get!


I've actually run out of Hazama's personal themes now, believe it or not, but I do have the theme that plays when he fights his main rival and the protagonist of BlazBlue, Ragna. It also happens to be my second favourite of three three themes i've shown thus far.

So here it is: Nightmare Fiction!

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