Somepony Who Understands Me

by WannaFlugelHorn

Rating: teen
Tags: Gummy, Pinkie Pie, Suicide / Self Harm, Dark, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person
Length: 3742

What do you do when no one understands you? Find somepony who does.

As a little filly, Pinkie Pie didn't have anyone to talk to. But she had so many questions she needed to ask, so many emotions she needed to share. Even if her family bothered discuss things like this with her, they wouldn't be much help. Their emotions didn't exactly vary. They were very predictable, which isn't really a good thing considering how they treated the pink pony. On the verge of insanity, the Pinkie Pie was going through the most depressing time of her life. But that all changed when she met Gummy.

Comments are always appreciated, and I'll try my best to respond back. Enjoy!

Published 2017-11-12 21:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-15 21:22:41 UTC

Why

As the sun rises, a dull light struggles it's way through the lone, clouded window of your room. It illuminates a cluster of dust, each speck floating still in the air. Opening your pale, blue eyes, you watch as more light inches it's way across the dusty floor as it trickles in through cracks in the gloomy, wooden structure that a you and your family call home. Family may not be the best word to use. When someone says 'family' most people think of love and happiness. So perhaps you should call them, 'a small group of ponies who just happened to be related.' Unlike most places, the light here didn't seem to make anything brighter, it just reminded you that it was time to get up and start slaving away in the heat again.

Peeling the covers away from your grayish pink coat, you step out of bed and slowly trudge down the stairs. Each step groans under your weight before squeaking back into place as you shift your weight. After you make your way down the steep decline, you head towards the kitchen. The rest of your 'family' was already seated. Nopony seems to even notice your presence, except for one of your sisters, Maud, who gives a short, firm nod before returning her focus to the food in front of her. Sitting down, you find you've been left the chair with uneven legs. You restlessly attempt to get comfortable on its hard surface as the chair continues bobbing against the floor. Finally steadying the chair, you consider breaking the silence by telling every pony the dream you had. Not the kind of dream where you hope for something, your parents and siblings didn't have any. The nightmare kind.

It was always the same dream. You and your sisters were all working out on the farm when a spotlight suddenly fell upon you. Your eyes began to burn as the strong light burrowed into them like parasites into its host. You shut your eyes tight, the light still working at your lids, and your ears picked up hoof steps. As the sound grew fainter, you began to worry, and squinted through the blinding veil surrounding you. Your sisters were now nowhere to be seen. They had left you. As you called out to them, the world around you grew darker and darker, yet strangely the spotlight shined on. You couldn't see anything through the sea of black, but it definitely felt like something could see you.

Panicked, you tried to run, only to find your legs anchored to the ground. Thorn covered branches had been winding around them, growing tighter and tighter. Blood dripped from the spots where the thorns were slicing you. You frantically started digging at the spot where the branches were protruding from the ground, but to no avail. You stood shakily in the darkness, trying to figure out what to do, when suddenly, three clusters of shapes appeared. They were foggy, but you could pick out their eyes. You started shouting at what appeared to be your sisters, but the eyes transformed from regular aqua, purple, and yellow eyes into glowing diamonds. As the creatures crept closer, you recognized them as Timber Wolfs. Terrified, you began yelling, screaming for your sisters. No one answered. You watched in horror as all three lunged at you.

Why were you so scared of being alone?

You thought again of bringing the dream up, but the mere though made you shiver. The situation would be no different. The spotlight would fall on you, but at the end, your family would simply look away again. Instead, you decide it would just be best to eat in silence.

Looking down at the food in front of you, you start at rock pancakes on your plate. Your family crunch down on theirs in a slow, rhythmical pattern, like paper being forced into a useless ball. You begin to feel nauseous. Unable to take the sound anymore, you leave the table and head outside to start your daily work at the South Field.

The ground was hard. You had traveled over to that field so many times that the dirt was packed beneath you. Your hooves ached from walking there the day before. And the day before that. And the day before that. Sharp stones cut your hooves as you walked, digging deep into your skin. You flinch, but this path was as clear of stones as it would get, so traveling any other way would be pointless. Soon your other sisters make the trek over. You barely notice. You were focusing on your section of the South Field. Noticing a rock you'd missed, you step over to it, only to bump into one of your sisters, Limestone Pie.

"Hey! Watch it!" Glaring at you with her yellow eyes, you back up and trip over a jagged rock, slicing your leg. Blood drips out, covering the rock with the crimson liquid.

"Ugh! Look what you did, Pinkie Pie, now that rock is ruined! It will take me all morning to clean your mess up!" Your eyes burn with tears as you limp towards the rock you were trying to pick up before. Your other sister, Marble Pie, glances at you, then your leg, then Limestone Pie, then back at your leg again. But she continues her walk anyway. You look over at Maud, who seems oblivious to the whole situation. You exhale and a shuddering sigh come out. You pick up the rock, and carry it over the small pile you had formed yesterday, leaving a small trail of blood in your wake.

As the sun starts to set, your parents call you in for dinner. Dinner wasn't much different than breakfast, but you hadn't eaten anything all day, so you consume the rock chops given to you as fast as you can, though the consistent blandness makes you gag, and head to your room. The room was bare except for the small, itchy bed in the corner and a rusty hook on the wall, which you can't remember using. You didn't have a dresser, a closet, or for Celestia's sake any toys. You really want some, to make your room more welcoming, even if you wouldn't have anytime to play with them. There wasn't much to do in there except sleep, but you can hardly get yourself under the covers. You know that today was no different than yesterday, and that tomorrow would be the same as well. You limp over to the window. Your leg still aches, but was now covered in a layer of a dark red crust. You start to hit your head against the fogged glass.

"Why. Why. Why." With each word you speak, you continue to bang your head against the dirty surface. "Why. Why. Why." You start put some force behind the bobs of your head. "Why! Why! Why!" Tears once again fill your eyes, but it wasn't from the pain. "Why! Why! W-Why!" Dizzy, you collapse onto your bed.

"Why?"

Gummy

You step over to the creature. It was a bright green, the same color as the oak leaf that had blow across the sky two years ago.

You'd tried in vain to catch it. Ran far from your work place as the leaf darted swiftly between your scrambling hooves, just above your reach. You came back a while later, after chasing the leaf all around the farm, wanting the color to meet your hoofs. It never did. Limestone took you behind the silo that night and yelled at you, even louder than other times, for slacking off. For the money you'd lost for your family. For being a failure. Then she struck you until you went unconscious, blood, dirt, and tears coating your fur. You still had to work the next day, even though at least one of your ribs was most likely broken.

She'd probably beat you again tonight if you didn't head back soon.

But again your heart tells you to stay where you were.

The animals's body was covered in scales, and it had a small, bumpy tail. The creature, now realizing that you weren't going to hurt it, looks at you directly, then shifts it gaze from your face to your neck. You felt like it was talking to you. But it was different than before. It seemed more . . . real. You felt the urge to respond.

"That's not important, just ignore it." The creature continues to stare. You partially cover the spot where you'd cut yourself with a hoof. You could feel the cut. It was still warm, as was your neck. "Well, um, I was . . . I was about to . . ."

The thing, what ever it was, seems like it can understand what you were trying to say as well. It looks back at your face with a concerned look. It was a beautiful feeling, looking at someone who had clear empathy for you. But the feeling doesn't last, as an image of Limestone flickers in your mind. You had to head back. Now.

"Well, I have to . . . I have to get back to work. Stay here until I come back. Promise me you'll stay here?" The green animal flicked it's tail in acknowledgement, but worry still worked at you. Promises were strong, but could still break.

"Um . . . we should do a special promise. A promise for me? A . . . a Pinkie Promise?" The animal blinked. "And you've got to cross your heart . . . er . . . hope to fly . . . and stick your promise in your eye. So it can't go away."

The creature brought a claw to its chest, swatted a few times, and then placed it just below its eye before scampering off.

You make it back to where you were originally working. No one looked at you except Maud, who quickly resumed cracking rocks. Her job was to split rocks that were too large to move into smaller pieces using her pickaxe. Marble pulled her cart and wheeled them to new places as needed. Limestone put rocks into the cart. She also pushed them into piles, like you. But even your work of stacking rocks was much more bearable after your run in with the creature. You are filled with a new kind of energy, and you make a lot more progress than usual, even though you haven't been working for a fair amount of the day. Before you know it, your dad comes out to ring the dinner bell. It was also beginning to look like Limestone wasn't going to punish you after all because you did your day's worth of work.

After eating, you plan on taking the remaining rock soup you haven't eaten to the creature. You quickly consume about half of your meal, and, once you finish, open the door. It squeaks on its hinges, and the unsettling noise makes you flinch and clench your teeth hard against the bowl in your mouth. You step out of the house. No one asked where you were going, of course.

It was just nice not going straight to your room for once.

"Hello? I'm back!" It doesn't appear to be there. You peak behind rocks, but no pony was there. Did the creature leave you? Your heart starts to race. It had to be here somewhere, right?

"Please come out! Where are you?" No pony responded. Why was the creature gone, why didn't it stay for you? Why couldn't anything go right?

You collapse to the ground and start crying. Your body shakes violently. You sob harder than any other time in your life. This was nothing like the other times you were sad. You'd expected to be sad then. You had never experienced hope before, and when your one dream turned out not to come true, you were heartbroken. Was your encounter with the creature even real? Were you going to be alone after all?

"W-why?"

As each tear fell, your body began to feel weak and heavy. Your vision blurs from the water coating your eyes, but you are able to make out your coat. It was slowly becoming less and less colorful. A dull gray replaces the pinks that had once been found on you. Unable to calm down, your entire body drains completely of color. You should be surprised by all of this, but you aren't. You don't know why.

Gasping for air, you become dizzy. The world around you wobbles. Once the landscape comes into focus again, you notice the sharp rock from before. Now nothing was holding you back. Picking up the rock once again, you held it to your throat.

"I want this." You pulled your foreleg back, ready to strike. Your hoof was steady. There was no hesitation. You swung.

Your ears twitch as they pick up a small noise.

The rock digs into your chin. In pain, the rock drops from your control and onto the ground. The same noise was made again. It was the sound that the creature made when it walked.

The small, rough face from before popped out from behind your family's silo in the distance. It looked at you, then ran over, confused. Your coat gushed with color at the sight of him, and your chin no longer hurt. In fact, your body looked the opposite of bland. But, glancing back at the gloomy landscape around you, you though back to all those days before, and the ones to come. You see your body return to its original color of dull pink, which was considerably drab compared to the full pink from moments ago. Then you notice something. Maybe your eyes were messing with you, but it still looked like your body was a brighter pink than before.

The creature licks one of its eyes. In reply, you wipe the tears from yours. You hug it, then remembered the gift you had brought for it. You pick up the bowl you had dropped.

"Here, these are for you." You put the rocks from the soup on the ground. "You eat them." It just looks at you. "Do you . . . do you just want the broth? Why?" The green thing opens its mouth. It had no teeth. "Oh. Well . . . that's okay! It doesn't matter. Just drink the broth then." The creature happily slurped it up.

"What should I call you?"

The green thing opens its mouth again. "Do your gums hurt?" You gasp. "Oh! Do you want to be called Gummy?" Closing its mouth, the creature continued drinking the soup.

"Thanks for being my . . . um . . . are we friends?" Your heart beats nervously, but the animal quickly nods in agreement.

"Thank you for being my friend, Gummy."

Friend. You liked the sound of that word.

Tears appear in your eyes again, and you aren't sure why. You aren't sad. Or scared. Or in pain. So why are you crying?Looking at Gummy, you realize it was because you were joyful for once. You take Gummy into your arms for another hug.

"Thank you. Thank you, thank you! My very own friend. My first friend! Friends!"

And for the first time in your life, you smile.

Talking To Yourself

Just as you predicted, today starts just the same as yesterday. You walk into the kitchen, and consider eating. The bland room around you always made everything unappetizing, not that rocks were exactly appetizing. You were about to give up on Breakfast once again, when your stomach growls from the lack of food eaten yesterday. You sit down, your flimsy pink hair draping over your face. Tucking it behind your ear, you take a bite of the food given to you, rocks.

As the second youngest in your family, with your sister Marble Pie being the youngest, you weren't required to clean your plate. But, honestly, you didn't really care that much. It just meant that you were the first to get to work out in the field. opening the door, you look out at the acres in front of you. The ground was a dull brown, and the rocks in front of you were almost all gray. Occasionally, you ran into a small rock that was tinted blue, purple, or yellow, but that was pretty much it. This life suited some ponies well. The consistency of a rock farm worker's life rarely lead to stress. But for you, each day left you with endless amounts of aching sadness and tension.

Stepping out of the house to your designated work space, you look behind you to find that your sisters had begun to file out of the house as well. Marble was pulling an old, creaky, wooden cart behind her, and Maud was holding a worn down pickaxe in her mouth. Limestone was coming over too, and, in attempt to prevent provoking her anger, you back out of the way . . . into a large pile of rocks she had set up yesterday. Rocks topple to the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I-" Limestone whips around to glare at you. Her stare fills your entire body with dread. You shut your eyes tight, but you can feel her accusing eyes burrow into you. You can hear Maud simply walk by you, and after a few moments, Marble leaves as well.

"Just great, Pinkie Pie! I can't believe-" But Limestone doesn't get a chance to finish. Your eyes had already begun to water and you canter away.

Once you'd put some distance between you and your sisters, you let the tears roll down your face. Your cheeks become stiff with the salty substance. Taking deep breaths to calm down, you slump against a large rock on the edge of the farm. You've stopped crying, but you know that if you head back now, you'll just start sobbing again. So instead you sit there, thinking. No one was going to come check on you, anyway.

"Why me? Why this? Why! Wh-" Suddenly it struck you. Maybe this was your destiny. Limestone and Maud hadn't gotten their cutie marks yet, but you were still old enough to get yours.

"Is this what I'm meant to do?" You know very well that it could be. Your eyes fill once again with tears. You were longing for an answer, but no pony ever talked to you. Especially about how you felt. No pony would ever explain to you what was supposed to happen next, or what you could do about it. Or at least, you thought no pony would, until . . .

What else would you destiny be?

What was that? It almost sounded like a voice.

You look around for the source of the noise. All you notice were some pebbles, teetering in the wind. But the the motion. It was surprisingly close to the movements of something living. It seems too alive to be caused by the breeze. It was almost as if they were moving by themselves. The world around you blurs into a mess of brown and gray as the rocks spoke again.

I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up doing this for the rest of your life.

"No . . . no! I can't do this anymore! My destiny could be something else. It should be something else. It will be!" You say, stopping your hoof to the ground.

What makes you sure?

You look behind you to see that the rock you were sitting against was moving, responding. You stand up and start pacing back and forth, uneasy. When you finally look up, you feel like the pebbles surrounding you have inched closer.

You'll be stuck slaving away here forever. You will never be happy. Ever. Always working with the people who will never understand you. You-

"So what do I do!" Tears were streaming down your face. "What do I do? How do I change my destiny? Should I run away? Where would I go! Would they take me back if I couldn't make it? What if I asked if I could leave? Would they let me? They would probably keep them in their sight at all times! WHAT DO I DO!"

Simple. A new voice. Sharper. More clear. A dagger like rock seemed to shake. Perhaps a bit more than the others. Choose not to have a destiny.

"Wh . . . What do you mean?"

You know exactly what I mean.

You did. You know how to end your destiny. But you are scared. The other voices start up again.

Do it. You don't want to be stuck here forever. So do it. This is what you want.

You take a few cautious steps towards the pointed rock. You pick it up, but hesitate.

Why are you stopping? This is your one escape. You want this. Do it.

You pick the rock up, but you were sobbing now. You were scared. But you had to do this, right? Right? Bringing the rock to your throat, you press. Blood leaks from the cut.

Do it. You want this. Do it.

Taking a deep breath, you bring the rock to your throat again.

"I . . . I want this. I want this! This is my one escape! Th-three. Two. O-" You stop. You hear what sounds like wet rags being slapped against the ground.

Do it. Do it!

The world around you came into focus. Colors, even how few they are, return. The rocks are moving less that you thought. Was it the wind? Was it you?

Do it! Do it!Do it!

The voices dissolved into the hum of the wind, and the objects around you steady. You drop the rock to the ground.

"Hello?" The sound grew louder. Your head told you to run, but your heart told you to stay put. So you did.

"Hello? Is anypony there?" You gasp. A long green snout appears from behind a rock, and two large purple eyes follow. You had never seen anything like it before. Besides you, your family, and occasionally a few crows, no other creatures had ever been found on the rock farm. Especially not so . . . full of color.

"What are you?"