Side Stories of Hasbroverse Earth

Chapters

Time Enough For All
Contact Part One: Old Memories
Contact Part Two: Meetings and Greetings
Family Reunion Part One: The Best Of Intentions
Family reunion Part Two: Memories
Shape Up or Slaughter Out!
How Christmas was Saved... Sort of
Dare to Be Stupid!
Peace and Quiet
A Very GI Joe Christmas
The Founding of the Dragon Clans
Reflections
Looking up at the Stars and thinking of You
Picnic by the Lake

Time Enough For All

Tug, tug, tug...
Doctor Whooves tugged on the strap around his left forearm, making sure his sonic screwdriver was tight against his skin. He double-checked his right and the similar device there. “All right, good,” the Doctor muttered to himself. He looked up from his work, glancing around once more at the darkened interior of his beloved TARDIS. He patted the control column, letting out a long sigh. “Thanks for this one last favor, old girl,” he said before turning and galloping out the door.

He emerged from his old friend into the back yard behind his clock shop. He paused for a moment and looked up at the sun. “Not this time,” he muttered. “I won't lose this home, not after so long and everything it's given me!”

The TARDIS thrashed about, nearly pitching the Doctor into a wall. He grabbed onto the control pedestal and steadied himself. “Come on, old girl!” he shouted above the rattling and beeping. “It's only ten black holes converging into one mass large enough to rip a hole into Void Space and let loose ten billion Daleks into here!” He grabbed a lever and pulled it towards him. “Not on my lives!”

A screen hanging from the ceiling flared to life, revealing the face of a younger woman. “Doctor!” Romana shouted. “The portal is almost open.” She glanced offscreen. “It's less than a minute!” Her brow furrowed. “Please tell me you've got some insane plan to stop them from conquering all of time and space!”

“Oh, of course!” the Doctor exclaimed. He looked to his side and flipped a switch. “Right where I am, I can open the engines and flood the black holes with energy from the Eye of Harmony. All the black holes close and Davros loses. Again.”

Romana's mouth opened and she gasped. “Doctor, are you insane? That will destroy the TARDIS and kill you!” She glanced to the side. “Miss Smith, Mister Williams, get over here!” she said, waving an arm frantically.

The Doctor looked down at the control pedestal, sighing. “You're right, Romana. You're right.”

A sigh of relief escaped the Time Lady. “Good, now we've got a-”

The Doctor stretched out his arms. “I need to be able to pull two levers on opposite sides of the pedestal. And there's no way I can reach that far! This time, not even I can be in two places at once...”

The lever opposite his station suddenly shifted, a few degrees down.

The Doctor stood there, a moment of eternity. “Are you sure, old girl? Absolutely?” At the lever's continued downward slide, he patted the console and smiled. “Thanks, you sexy thing.” He looked up to the image of Romana and tossed her an informal salute. “Sorry, Romana, but looks like I've got help this time.”

Romana bit her lip. “Goodbye, Doctor.” A bitter smile crossed her lips. “It was good working with you again.”

“And with you as well.” He pushed a button and the image faded. He looked down at the lever opposite him and grabbed the one jutting out right in front. “All right... ALLONZY!” he shouted, pulling down. The lever opposite slid down in concert, and the entire console room exploded...

Celestia stood before the blue box, a pair of guards beside her. Canterlot was right behind, the drawbridge across the moat pulled up and the gates sealed. The box was lying on its side,embedded halfway into the ground. A strange smoke wafted up from a pair of doors, smelling foul and tingling her nose. “Stay back,” she commanded. Her horn lit up. “Whatever this is, I shall deal with it.”

The doors swung up and open, revealing a glowing light. A hand and arm suddenly reached out, flailing about. Celestia gasped and reared back as a humanoid crawled out, wearing a disheveled suit, little more than rags. He stumbled up and out, leaning heavily on his shins. “Oh, that was worse than that all-nighter I pulled back at Time Lord Academy!” He tilted his head up, finally noting Celestia. “Oh, hello!” He stood up, smiling. “Well, winged unicorn, or horned pegasus. That's new!”

Celestia stared at him for two seconds before launching her head forward. “Who are you? Are you human? Are you from Earth? Is this some sort of vehicle? Is it magic or science? Have you met a young woman named Megan Williams?”

The man paused and his eyes darted back and forth. “I'm the Doctor, Time Lord, from Gallifrey-although Earth's one of my favorite planets, yes it is, a little of both and I'm afraid not.” He met Celestia's intense gaze. “And you?”

Celestia took a step back and bowed her head. “My apologies, Doctor. I am Celestia, Princess of the Equestrian Alliance. You've arrived in another dimension, and Megan was an old friend of mine.” Her voice hitched slightly on the last words and she swallowed. “Again, sorry.”

The Doctor shook his head, waving her off. “No, no problem. Humans look very Time Lord.” He grinned, but his entire upper body suddenly heaved. He doubled over, groaning in pain. “Oh, no!”

Celestia's head whipped about. “Bring doctors and nurses, now!” she barked to the guards. She looked back to the Doctor, her ears twitching. “By the Herd, you have two hearts!” She took a step forward. “What can we do for you, Doctor?”

The Doctor shook his head. “Nothing, Celestia. It's a healing process, but it's gonna be rather... bangy.” He straightened up and held out his arms. His skin took on an orange glow and smoke, similar to that from the blue box, wafted from his mouth and nostrils. “This should be interesting...”

His entire body convulsed, energy surrounding his entire form. The guards reared back from the discharge, but Celestia stood there as his entire form shrank, his clothes rolling up into a simple cravat and necktie. The glow faded, revealing a brown-coated earth pony with a wild, frizzy mane and an hourglass as a cutie mark.

The Doctor blinked. “Well, that was... different.” he held up his forelegs and looked them over. “Hooves? That's new!” He looked up at Celestia. “My word, you're huge!” He glanced to the left, then the right. “Celestia, please, there's something very important. I have to know!”

Celestia leaned down and narrowed her eyes. “What, Doctor, what is it?”

The Doctor raised a foreleg and ran it through his already-wild mane. “Am I... ginger?”

The Doctor entered his clock shop through the back delivery door, crossing through the storage room and emerging into the shop proper. He skipped around the sales counter, double-checking his sonic screwdrivers while trotting forth. But the entrance of three ponies stopped him short. “Ditzy? Dinky? Sparkler?” he exclaimed, stopping just short of headbutting Ditzy and scrambling back.

Ditzy's left eye was focused on Dinky and Sparkler, but her right eye slid around to focus on the Doctor. “Honey, what's going on?” she asked. She extended a wing over Dinky and Sparkler. “The kids are a bit nervous, and to tell you the truth, so am I.”

Dinky looked up at the Doctor with wide eyes. “Daddy, what's going on?” There was a distant thud from outside. “You've got your tools from your ship outside, and you told me and Sparkler never to use your tools from your ship, because they're dangerous for ponies our age. But you've got them. Why?”

Another thud resounded, a little louder this time. The Doctor knelt down slightly and held out his forelegs, wrapping them around Dinky and Sparkler's necks in a hug, the pair leaning into his forelegs. “Daddy has some work to do, part of his old job. But I'll be right back. Now you take care of Mommy. She worries a bit too much about me.” He looked up at Ditzy as she stood there. “Just a bit too much sometimes, dear.”

Ditzy shook her head as the Doctor disentangled himself from their daughters and stood up right in front of her. She grunted, focusing both eyes on him. “I worry because you're you, Doctor.” She leaned forward and nuzzled him. “And you've never hidden anything from me, either. That's another reason why I worry.”

The Doctor returned the nuzzle, sneaking a quick kiss in. “Well, how could I hide anything from you?”

The Doctor looked up at the nice, newly-painted sign hanging from the pole, swaying slightly in a pegasus-created breeze. “'Sepia Tock's Clock Shop',” he read, tilting his head this way and that at the fancy typeset used. He bobbed his head. “Looks good to me!”

A voice from behind caught his attention. “Hey there, mister!” He turned and saw a gray-coated pegasus hovering a few feet off the ground. One of her eyes focused on him, the other on his shop. “Welcome to Ponyville!”
A smile crossed his face. “Well, thank you Miss...”

She landed and extended a hoof. “Ditzy!' she proclaimed, smiling right back at him, an infectious smile that he seemed to catch right then and there...

“I'll be all right,” the Doctor said. By now the thudding had grown rather loud and steady. A few ponies outside the storefront window were dashing or flying away, bu others were rooted in place, staring up with open-mouthed expressions of shock. He waited for Ditzy to step aside before dashing out the front door, sonic screwdrivers powering up. “All right, you daft machine!” he shouted, holding up a foreleg and waving it about. “Time to...” His voice trailed off as he beheld the robot standing before him. “What?”

A robot stood before the clock shop, humanoid in shape. His torso, upper arms and shins were red, while blue adorned his hips and forearms, with large dials mounted on the latter. Translucent panels covered his chest. A large tube was mounted on his left shoulder, with another dial on top. His hands were empty and held out away from his body. His face, although metal, was wearing an expression of kindness and curiosity. “Greetings, equine citizens of the incorporated township of Ponyville!” he called out, taking another step forward. “I am pleased to make any and all acquaintances of you here in your diminutive council-led collective.”

The Doctor flipped his screwdrivers off before ducking his head back into his shop. “It's all right,” he said, grinning. “I know this bloke.” He stepped back outside and waved a foreleg. “Oi, Perceptor!” he shouted. “Down here, mate!”

Perceptor looked down, optic sensors brightening. “Hello, there,” he said. He knelt down. “I am pleased to meet you, but how did you know my name...”

The Doctor waggled his head a bit. “Do a scan, Percy.” He cantered from left to right. “Come on, we both know how much you love to scan stuff!” He turned back as Ditzy peeked her head out, Sparkler's head right below hers and Dinky at the bottom. “Don't worry,” he said, waving at them. “He's a really great guy!”

Perceptor tapped the side of his head. His optic sensors brightened and a beam of blue energy washed over the Doctor. “Binary vascular system, respiratory backup system, what the Unicron...” He tapped his head again and the beam brightened slightly. “Analyzing quantum signature for reality categorization...” His voice trailed off and the beam stopped. “Doctor?!”

Ditzy stepped out of the clock shop, standing beside her husband. “Doctor, he's a friend?” At his nod, she turned to Perceptor and bowed her head. “Nice to meet you, Mister Perceptor. I'm Ditzy Doo, the Doctor's wife.” She looked over as Sparkler and Dinky walked out. “And these are our daughters, Dinky Doo and Sparkler Doo.” Both fillies waved a foreleg at the giant robot, sticking rather close to Ditzy and the Doctor.

Perceptor lowered his right arm to Ditzy's level and held out his hand. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Missus Doo, Dinky and Sparkler.”

Ditzy looked him up and down before reaching out with a foreleg and touching Perceptor's hand. “Thanks, Perceptor.” She lowered her head, one eye looking at his hand. “You're warm,” she said, eyebrows furrowing.

Perceptor smiled. “Yes. My thermal signature is quite large, I believe.” He looked back to the Doctor. “How long have you been in this particular alternate quantum reality, Doctor? Have you regenerated since arriving?”

The Doctor let out a sigh. “It's been...” He held up a hoof, but quickly dropped it back to the grass. “Stupid, still doing that. About eight hundred-fifty years, old friend. And no, I'm on my last incarnation.” A tight smile crossed his face. “About forty or fifty years, then perhaps I'll see orange skies and silver grass again?”

Ditzy leaned into him in an equine hug. “Oh, Doctor,” she said, sniffling slightly.

The Doctor leaned into her, swallowing. “Sorry,” he murmured. He glanced to his right and saw Sparkler and Dinky there, both reaching out to him and wrapping their forelegs around his neck and right foreleg, respectively.

“I hate it when you talk like that, Dad,” Sparkler said, eyes tightly shut.

Dinky choked back tears. “Y-you'll stay here, Right Dad?” She looked up at him. “Right?”

The Doctor leaned down slightly and nuzzled Dinky. “Of course,” he said. “I'll be right here for you, Dinky.” He looked up and met Sparkler's gaze. “I'll be right here for all of you.” He looked to Ditzy, kissing her gently on the lips.

Perceptor looked them over. “It appears my internal chronometer indicates it is time for me to return to the chronal-stabilized inter-dimensional gateway.” He stood up, then bowed at the waist. “It has been a pleasure, Doctor. My internal fuel pump temperature has been increased considerably seeing you alive and well.”

The Doctor's head snapped around, mussed-up mane whipping about. “Oi, no you don't!” He disentangled himself from his family and trotted up to Perceptor's foot. “You are not leaving until you've taken a tour of my clock shop, do you hear?” He planted his hooves on Perceptor's right foot. “Not until, Percy.”

Perceptor's mouth opened and a small burst of static came forth. “Oh, all right,” he said, a smile blossoming across his mouth plates.

Sparkler's mouth canted to the side. She walked up to the Doctor, cocking her head up at the Autobot. “Dad... crouching his head's level with my upstairs bedroom. How is he gonna fit inside?”

The Doctor placed a hand on Sparkler's shoulders and guided her back. “Oh, not a problem there. Just stand back and watch the super science happen.”
Perceptor's entire body straightened. His head retracted into his chest and the barrel on his left shoulder raised itself on struts, swinging over to where his head was. Translucent panels on his chest folded down, the barrel tilting down as well. His hands retracted, his arms raised and his legs splayed out at angles only possible due to his mechanical nature. And all the while his entire form was shrinking down, down down. There was no flash, no afterimage of larger sizes. It was as if he was simply moving away. After a few seconds, where a forty-foot tall robot once stood, a microscope now sat.

Sparkler, Ditzy and Dinky stared in wide-eyed shock, but the Doctor merely trotted forward. “There we go.” The barrel raised and the lenses rotated. “He can see through the barrel just fine.” He knelt down, gently picked it up by his mouth and tossed his head back. The microscope flew up and over, landing perfectly on his back. He turned, walked up to Ditzy and gently closed her mouth. “How's about I make dinner,” he said, winking before turning and heading for the door.

Ditzy's eyes both followed the Doctor. “Okay...” she said before following him.

Sparkler blinked. Her head whipped around as she tracked the Doctor. “Dad, how did he do that?” she asked, a slight cracking in her voice.

The Doctor paused on the threshold and looked back. “Well, it's sort of like with the TARDIS.”

The younger unicorn sighed. “Right. You'll explain later.”A smile formed on her lips and she followed her parents inside, Dinky right behind.

Contact Part One: Old Memories

The White House

“... It is our hope and desire that together, pony and human can accomplish so much more than alone, as has been done before. Thank you.”

The image of Luna stopped. Chip Chase stepped away from the wall-mounted screen and turned to his audience of two, one sitting and one standing. The one sitting was Clayton Abernathy, President of the United States. Standing next to him was Philip Provost, head of the State Department. “So, there it is,” he said. He motioned to the frozen image of Luna. “They're a bit cautious, but definitely want some sort of alliance with us. Economic, political, the works.” He walked over and stood in front of the desk. “So, what do you think?”

Clayton turned his head to his right and looked up at Philip, a younger man with short, curly blond hair and sunglasses. “Phil, thoughts?”

Phillip rubbed his chin. “I think they're sincere. We'll have to proceed with a bit more caution than usual, though. Most of our first contacts don't have a portal right here on Earth. Our best bet would likely be to go through Missus Richards and her siblings. They've got the most contact with the Equestrians.”

Clayton nodded. “It's in their yard, literally. I doubt Luna or Celestia would be that... receptive if we didn't go through them, at least for now. We'd better offer them every cooperation.”

Philip shook his head. “I agree, but I can already hear the State Department howling to have her replaced or 'guided',” he said, raising his hand and making quote marks in the air.

Chip spoke up. “If we do that, though, I think Celestia and Luna would be... displeased, at best. Both consider her a link between worlds. The ponies themselves consider her and her siblings semi-divine, even.” He looked back to the monitor. “We do an end run around her, Daniel Williams, Molly Williams or even Michael Richards and we risk a major backlash from almost every pony on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge, and probably a few other species.”

Clayton slapped his palms onto the desk, rattling a pencil cup. “That settles it, then. I'd prefer not to cause an international and inter-dimensional incident at the same time.” He looked back up at Philip. “Try to find a diplomat or aide that doesn't have too big of an ego that he or she won't be put off too much by working with Megan, Mike or anyone else in the family.”

Philip's eyes narrowed. “Do you want me to ski to Nebulos, too?”

Clayton's jaw set, his mouth forming into a grim line. He tossed up a hand up. “Just find someone, Philip.” His eyes tracked the younger man as he left before looking back to Chip. “Nice work, Chip.” He let out a sigh, drumming his fingers on the desk. “This is either gonna go smoothly, or be filled with more holes than an artillery range.”

Chip shook his head. “I think the alicorns would prefer smoothly. I know I would. I think if we keep Megan and her family in the loop, it'll go a lot better.”

Clayton nodded. “Exactly.” He let out a sigh and leaned back. He looked up at the ceiling. “Dammit...”

The younger man walked up to the desk. He tilted his head to the side. “Are... you all right, Mister President?”

There was a pause before Clayton shrugged. “Ever have a memory at the back of your mind, but you can't get it to the front?” he waved a hand around his ear. “That's about how I feel right now. There's something in the back there, but it's not coming out.”

Chip rubbed his chin. “I'm guessing it's got something to do with ponies. Have you read any of Missus Richards' books? They're based on her old adventures in Ponyland before the first Rainbow Bridge collapsed.” He rocked back and forth on his heels. “They're not that bad, either.”

Clayton waved him off. “I don't think so.” He drummed his fingers on the desk. “But it is something from that time.” He suddenly stood up, knocking his chair back slightly. He locked eyes with Chip. “Wait, did ponies ever cross to Earth, besides the first time with Firefly?”

Chip's eyes darted back and forth. He pulled out his phone and, after some tapping on the screen, nodded. “A few times.” He chuckled slightly, smiling. “I wonder if these were the ones Admiral Delgado claimed he saw once.” His head shot up, meeting Clayton's eyes again. “You don't think...”

The President took a step back and rubbed his forehead. He sat down and groaned. “Shipwreck was right...”

1982
General Clayton 'Hawk' Abernathy looked at the sputtering sailor standing before him. He placed his hands on his hips. “A pink... pony?”

Hector 'Shipwreck' Delgado waved his arms about, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. “With wings!” he shouted. He turned and pointed at a ship docked to a pier. “G-General, yah gotta believe 'hic!' me!”

Hawk gritted his teeth. He walked right up to Shipwreck and jabbed a finger at him. “Shipwreck, we've got more than enough on our plate without you seeing pink ponies in the sky. That maniac in Springfield's got himself an army and there are rumors he's got MARS contacts. Now I need you and everyone else on Delta-Six at their best while on duty. Do I make myself clear?”

Shipwreck swallowed. He straightened himself up as best he could, still wavering a bit on rubbery legs. “Crystal, sir!” he barked out, saluting.

Hawk nodded, returning the salute. “Good.”

“... He never spoke of it again, but I think he wrote about it in his memoirs,” Clayton said, finishing the tale. He walked over to a bookcase opposite the display case. His fingers trailed along the spines before pulling out a slim volume. He held it up, showing Chip the cover of 'Yo, Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum; the Life and Times of a Joe Lost at Sea'. It showed a picture of an aged sailor, with a salt-and-pepper beard more salt than pepper.

Chip nodded. “I read it. He still thinks he saw something.”

A sigh escaped Clayton's lips. “And he did.” He put the book back. “You know, Chip, if things turn out well I'll probably be meeting with the princesses at some point. I wonder if she'd object to an... honor guard there.” He smirked slightly. “And I wonder if Marvin would object to doing the catering.”

Chip snorted. “A GI Joe reunion? Why not? They'll probably have the Elements of Harmony with them, at least. The captain of the Royal Guard's Twilight's brother, so I can see him showing up, too.”

Clayton snapped his fingers and walked back to the desk. He picked up a phone off the desk and tapped a button on the main unit. “Dave, could you come in, please? I need some people tracked down.”

Contact Part Two: Meetings and Greetings

One month later

Megan walked through the kitchen, pausing before the small army of sous chefs moving about under the watchful eye of the head chef. She cleared her throat. “M-Mister Hinton?” she asked, her hands trembling slightly, shaking what they held.

Marvin 'Roadblock' Hinton spun from the stove with precision born from years in the armed forces. He stood almost a full foot taller than Megan, with light brown skin, a shaved head and pencil mustache. His eyes were somewhat narrow, but projected no malice. In one hand was a soup ladle, the other a cookbook. And despite his age, he still had enough muscle mass to lift a Browning .50 caliber machine gun and use it barehanded. “Missus Richards,” he said, motioning to the kitchen around them and the controlled chaos. “I'd like to thank you for the use of your kitchen and the latitude you've shown my assistants and myself.” He stepped back and half-bowed. “Much appreciated.”

Megan shook her head rapidly. “No, no! It's no problem at all, Mister Hinton!”

Marvin shook his head. “Hey, no 'Mister', there. I was enlisted,” he said, winking. He looked down at her hands and what was being held by them. “Hey, you're a fan? Thanks!”

Megan looked down at the DVD boxed set of Cooking with Kung-Fu Grip: Season one. Her cheeks colored slightly. “I... own all nine seasons,” she said, her voice dropping with every word.

Marvin chuckled. He set down the cookbook and ladle and took the boxed set from Megan. He slid a pen from his chef jacket's pocket and, with practiced ease, signed his name across the cover. He handed it back and sketched a short bow.

Megan took it and smiled at him. “Thank you very much. And for the record, it's Megan for me, not 'Missus Richards'.” She leaned over and looked at the various dishes being prepared. “Wow,” she breathed out. She pointed at a pot simmering on the stove. “Is that barley soup?”

Marvin followed her gaze. “Some of the pony dishes took a bit of doing, but we're making it work.” he pointed to a pair of ponies with white hats and coats near the refrigerator. “Pear Slice and High Class have been lifesavers with some of them.” He looked back to Megan, but his eyes were focused slightly to her left. “Actually, I have a favor I'd like to ask of you.” He motioned with his head past Megan.

Megan turned around, quickly spotting a well-worn duffel bag in the corner. She stepped aside, allowing the larger man to slide past and pick it up. He unzipped it, reached in and, after a few seconds of moving the contents around, pulled out a dogeared copy of 'My Little Horsey and the Tale of the Terrible Tirac'. He held it up, his cheeks turning beet-red. “My niece gave it to me. I've been hooked ever since.”

There was a simple stare from Megan before she flipped open the front cover and looked at the inside of it. “'To Unka Marvin',” she read, glancing up and smiling slightly. She held out a hand, took his pen as he offered it to her and jotted down a brief note, reading it aloud as she did. “'To Marvin, from Megan. It's all right to like the ponies.” She handed the book and pen back. “There you go, Marvin.”

A sigh escaped Marvin as he looked down at the book in his hand. “Thanks, Megan. So... have you had any time to start on the next novel?” he asked, flashing her a toothy smile.

Megan let out a sigh and shook her head. “Between setting this up, my adventures in Equestria and tea time with the princesses, not much.” She looked away from Marvin, focusing on a calendar hanging on the wall. Her right hand grabbed her left arm, squeezing it. “And sometimes I almost find myself wanting to call up Firefly or Bow Tie and ask them if I got their characterization right.” A bark of mirthless laughter escaped her lips. “I'm sorry.”

Marvin slid the book into his duffel bag and reached over, patting Megan on the shoulder. “Never be sorry for that, Megan. Lord knows I've been there. I lost a number of good friends from Delta-Six.”

The younger woman looked to him, meeting his piercing eyes. “Thank you, Marvin.” Megan stepped aside, turning away from him and towards the sliding door that led to the porch and backyard. “By your leave?” At his half-bow, she walked up to the door and the quartet of guards standing there. To her right was a pair from the Secret Service, each wearing a suit with slim bulges in their form-fitting jackets. Earpieces with cords trailing down the nape of their neck and shades with flashing interiors completed the look. To her left stood two ponies, each clad in the ceremonial armor of the Royal Guard. A unicorn mare stood at attention, with a snow-white coat and golden armor of the Solar Watch. Her mane was sky-blue, matching her eyes. Next to her was an earth pony stallion clad in the midnight-blue armor of the Night Watch. His eyes were pale-yellow and slitted, darting to and fro. His black tail whipped back and forth, slicing through the air.

The two ponies looked up to Megan and, as one, dropped to one knee, the crests of their helmets touching the floor. “Mag'ne,” the unicorn breathed out. Her horn glowed and the door slid open. “We are at your service!” she declared, looking up, but still keeping low to the linoleum.

Megan dropped to one knee and held out a hand. “No bowing to me.” She looked them over. "You are both members of the Royal Guard, and you have both reclaimed your pride and honor.” She slowly rose, beckoning them to follow.

One of the Secret Service agents leaned over to her. “Thank you,” he said, his voice measured, with an odd cadence to it. “They've both been a bit anxious to meet you.” He looked to the ponies, the right corner of his mouth turning up ever so slightly. He had a somewhat long face, and a piercing stare even with his eyes obscured by the shades.

Megan returned the smile. “You're welcome, Mister...”

“Smith,” he supplied, adjusting his necktie. “Agent Smith. And yes, I've heard all the jokes.”

There was a pause from Megan before she simply waved him off. “I'm sure you have.” She stepped outside into a bright, sunny day and breathed in the crisp, cool air.

Her moment of peace was shattered as a young Latino woman in a business jacket and knee-length skirt approached, a microphone in hand and scowl on what would otherwise be a rather attractive face. A camera floated behind her, the lens whirring as it adjusted itself automatically based on distance and lighting conditions. “Missus Richard, Rosanna Ramirez, Coyote News Network!” she declared, thrusting the microphone into Megan's face. “What are your thoughts on accusations that Equestria is lulling us into a false sense of security as a prelude to invasion?”

Megan stared down at the microphone before slowly looking up at Ramirez. Her right hand began clenching into a fist, but sheer force of will uncurled her fingers. “Those accusations have no basis in reality,” she said, her voice measured. She stepped to the side, but Rosanna followed, blocking her path. “Miss Ramirez, please step aside. I have friends and family to see.”

Ramirez turned to the camera. “You heard it here first, folks! Megan denies the rumors. But! Is it possible she herself is in league with our new pony overlords?” She swiveled back, thrusting the microphone back into Megan's face. “Your comments?”

Megan's face flushed red. Her lips curled in a snarl and her eyes narrowed. Ramirez took a step back, but Megan stepped forward. “I said no comment, Miss Ramirez. All right?!”

Any comment from Ramirez was cut short as an older man stepped up behind her. He wore a white naval dress uniform, with a self-described salt and pepper beard adorning his chin. Although most would say it was more 'salt' than pepper these days. “Hey, Rosie!” Admiral Hector 'Shipwreck' Delgado called out, waving at her back. He waited for her to turn around before continuing. “Don't you have stories about cats in trees and drywall peeling to cover? You know, more in line with your skill.” His eyes darted to Megan and he walked around Ramirez to Megan. “Lovely shindig you've got here, Missus Richards. A lot better than the last place I took shore leave at,” he said, winking.

Ramirez' nostrils flared. She focused on Hector, thrusting her microphone at him. “Admiral Delgado, are-”

Hector reached over, closing weathered hands around the microphone's windscreen. “Listen, Rosie. Can we please just cut the crap, here?” he wrapped an arm around Megan's shoulders, drawing her in for a one-armed hug. “You do remember that one time she was interviewed, right?” His free hand made a fist and he gently punched the air, grinning from ear to ear. “Damn, I watched that about a hundred times on Youtube.”

Ramirez' face paled and her outstretched hand shook. She backpedaled a few feet before spinning on her heel and running off, her camera following along.

Megan glanced at Hector out of the corner of her eye. “You forgot to mention Meyer punched me first,” she said, kneeling down and out of Hector's hug.

The old swabbie chuckled. “Not as fun that way. Just like when I crowed to Hawk about being right all those years.” He paused for a moment, the smile falling away for a moment. “You think either of the princesses would mind an old salt asking them a question?”

Megan slowly shook her head. “No, why?”

“No reason.”

Megan tilted her head, but ultimately shrugged and left it alone. She placed an arm across her stomach and bowed to him. “Well, thanks for getting her off my back, at least.” She checked her wristwatch. “If you'll excuse me, Admiral. I need to be somewhere in about ten minutes.” She turned and walked off, threading her way through groups of humans, ponies and even the occasional zebra or humanoid from the stars. Representatives from Canada, France, China, India, the United Kingdom and a dozen other countries were amongst the crowd, paying her little mind as they talked. She quickly found herself in front of the tool shed, in the back corner.

Mike, Molly, Danny, Danielle and Michelle were there. Mike's expression brightened as Megan approached. “Hey,” he said, leaning forward and kissing her.

Megan returned the kiss. “Hey, yourself,” she breathed out when she pulled back. She motioned to her dress. “What do you think?”

Molly looked her over. “A lot fancier than what you wore when Smart Cookie visited Dream Valley,” she remarked.

Megan stuck her tongue out. “Quiet, you. At least I wore shoes.” She stepped over to Danielle and focused on a dab of something sticky in her hair. A glance to the side and she saw some on Michelle's right arm. “Danielle Wind Whistler Richards...”

Danielle swallowed. “Well, we were showing the other Crusaders the stuff inside the garage...

“Danielle, what's this do?”

“Scootaloo, don't!”

Megan crossed her arms and glared at her older daughter. “Nothing was broken, I assume?”

Mike spoke up. “It's all right, Megan. I checked it out. No one got hurt and the damage is minimal.” He motioned to the center of the yard. “I think you’ve got someplace to be.”

Megan looked over her shoulder at the center of the yard. Shaky hands smoothed down her dress. “How do I look?” she asked, her voice rising slightly.

Danny rolled up beside her and took her hand in his. “You’ll be fine, sis.” He pointed to the center of the yard. “Now, go make some more history. And don’t worry. We’ll all be right behind you.”

Megan bent down and kissed her brother on the cheek. “Thanks, Danny.” She hugged and kissed Mike, hugged Molly, Michelle and Danielle before turning and walking to the center of the yard, where the physical hole to Equestria hung in the air. She approached the hole and the Rainbow Bridge cascading down from it, like a frozen waterfall of light.

Three humans and a unicorn stallion stood before it, three of them in a suit accompanied by a quartet of security guards from their respective nations. The first was President Abernathy, standing there with his hands clasped behind his back and looking up at the hole. To his right was Ivan Nikolevich Brekhov, the Premier of Russia. He held a cane in his right hand, and from the angle he stood Megan could see a patch over his right eye. And to Clayton's left stood Fancy Pants, Chancellor of the Equestrian Senate, clad in a tuxedo that showed off his triple-crown cutie mark, his monocle floating about just in front of his face as he looked up at Clayton and chuckled.

And right by Clayton was Hector. He had his arms crossed over his chest and a smug look on his face. “... All I’m saying is, if you had only listened to me back then. You know, maybe considered the possibility I was right?”

Clayton’s head tilted back. He threw his hands into the air and groaned. “Okay, Shipwreck. What do you want me to say?”

“Oh... ‘You were right, Shipwreck’.”

A chuckle escaped Ivan. “Hawk, if you wish, I could put him out of your misery, da?”

Clayton waved him off. “No...” He swiveled on his heels to face his former teammate. “Shipwreck... you were right.”

A bark of laughter escaped from Hector. He waggled a finger in the air. “I could hold my liquor even back then!”

Fancy Pants' monocle swiveled in Megan's direction. His head soon followed. “Ah, my dear Missus Richards!” he said, sweeping a foreleg at her. “I am honored to be in your presence!” He bowed his head for a moment.

Clayton and Ivan turned to face her, while Hector stepped back a few paces. Clayton smiled warmly and extended a weathered hand to Megan. “Missus Richards, good to see you again.”

Megan’s mouth opened, but nothing came out for a few moments. She reached up with a trembling hand and shook Clayton’s. “G-good t-to see you again, Mister President,” she stammered out.

Ivan let out a chuckle. “She raises princesses by hand and forges a nation from chaos, but a president makes her pale and stammer. Yak zabavno!” He half-bowed, leaning somewhat heavily on his cane. He held up his free hand and checked his watch. “Is almost time.”

Fancy Pants trotted around to Megan’s side and gently guided her around to a spot right next to the Rainbow Bridge, to Clayton’s and Ivan’s right. “Now then, my dear. You’re all set?” At her shaky nod, he grinned. “Excellent.” A fobwatch floated up out of his suit pocket and opened up in front of him. “Nearly time...”

Conversations died down as everyone’s attention turned to the Rainbow Bridge. Reporters crowded in, humans on the ground and pegasi in the air. Security personnel tensed...

A single ball of light floated out of the hole. almost lazily drifting down to the ground in front of Clayton and Ivan. It brightened, stretching out and expanding into Princess Celestia. Her mane and tail whipped about as she looked around. Her wings flapped slightly as her hooves touched the ground. Her regalia gleamed, shining with an inner fire.

A stream of dark-blue mist snaked out of the hole, twirling around to the ground. It stopped, also expanding, but this one quickly turned into Princess Luna. A confident smile graced her muzzle. Her mane and tail hewed closer to her head and flank, but parts of it still bounced about. Her own regalia was dark, drinking in any light.

The Diarchs of Equestria stood before the President of the United States and the Premier of Russia. Fancy Pants was to one side, Megan on the other. A hush settled over everyone there. Finally, Megan held up her right hand and motioned to the alicorns. “May I present the Diarch of the Sun, Princess Celestia. And this is her sister, Princess Luna, Diarch of the Moon.” She turned to her left. “Princesses, this is Clayton Abernathy, President of the the United States, and Ivan Nikolevich Brekhov, the Premier of Russia.” She took a step back, letting out a deep breath.

Both Celestia and Luna dropped to one knee, quickly standing up once more. “We are honored to be here,” Luna announced, her voice carrying across the yard and half the neighborhood. More than one microphone whined from the feedback.

Clayton and Ivan both extended a hand. “On behalf of all of humanity, we formally welcome you to Earth,” Clayton announced.

“May this meeting be the first,” Ivan started.

“But not the last,” Celestia finished. The alicorns held their forelegs up, allowing Clayton and Ivan to grasp them in an improvised hand-and-hoof shake. Cameras flashed all around, capturing the moment. Fancy Pants’ hooves began pounding on the grass, producing muffled thuds. After a moment Megan began clapping, the ponies and humans quickly following their lead.

Hector approached Luna and Celestia, his right hand gripping a glass of whiskey. The two were standing with Megan, Molly and Danny, chatting about something. He tipped his glass back and drained it in one long swig before walking up to the Diarchs. “Excuse me,” he said.

Celestia glanced over to him. Her brow furrowed for a moment. “Admiral... Delgado, was it?”

Hector nodded. “Yeah.” He looked to Megan. “Ah, Megan? Remember what I said earlier, about that question I wanted to ask the princesses?” He motioned to the alicorns with his drinking hand.

Megan slowly nodded. She grabbed Molly’s sleeve and led her away, Danny rolling right behind. “Come on, you two. “Let’s make sure the Crusaders haven’t leveled the garage.”

Hector waited for the three to leave before speaking. “Back in 1982, a pink pony flew up to me, asking about finding a rainbow or something.” He paused and scratched the side of his head. “Now, I know it really happened, but something’s been bugging me.” He paused and waved his free hand about. “Who was she? And did she find what she was looking for?”

Celestia and Luna exchanged a glance. “Pink pony who could fly,” Celestia said, rubbing her chin with a hoof. She glanced up at the sun, staring along the line of her horn. “Perhaps Firefly?”

Luna nodded. “Indeed. For as I recall, she was the one to cross the most during the early days.” She looked to Hector. “Yes, it was Firefly, one of the founders of Cloudsdale.” Her eyes drifted past the old sailor, settling on Megan. “And she did indeed find who she was looking for.”

Author's Note

In the DDP continuation of the old Marvel comics, Roadblock does indeed become a famous chef, with TV show and line of George Foreman-esque grills.
According to his biography, Ivan Brekhov is from the Ukraine. I used Google Translate set to that language.
Rosanna Ramirez is indeed the daughter of Hector Ramirez, he of multiple Hasbro cartoons.
Yes. Megan punched out Stephanie Meyer. No, I won't ever explain the full details of what happened. :p
The names of the two branches of the Royal Guard were devised by Madfish and Stavaros_Arcane at the spacebattles forums.
I figured Fancy Pants would be better than Twilight, as an actual member of the government. The Elements don't have to attend every diplomatic function and/or event. They've got lives, too.

Family Reunion Part One: The Best Of Intentions

Doctor Whooves sat on a couch with his family in the upper floor of the two-story building they lived in, Ditzy to his right and Dinky and Sparkler to his left. The brown-coated earth pony balanced a photo album on his lap with his forelegs, occasionally leaning down to turn a page with the tip of his muzzle. “Now this was me way back in the day,” he said, motioning to the photo. It was two humanoids, one a male with frizzy white hair, a long nose for a human, a frilled shirt and a cravat. He had his arm around a much younger woman, with short brown hair, inquisitive eyes and a bright smile.

Dinky reached over and pointed at the picture. “Daddy, was that when you worked on Earth with that other one you liked so much?” Her face scrunched slightly in concentration. “The... Brigadier?”

The Doctor beamed at his youngest. He reached over and slightly mussed her mane. “That's right, Dinky.” He looked back to the photograph and sighed. “This is Sarah Jane Smith. Back then, she was my best friend.” He looked up, past the edge of the album and at a spot on the carpet. “Oh, we had the time of our lives back then. Flying about, getting into all sorts of scrapes.” He suddenly glanced to Ditzy on his right. “Of course, that was a different life back then-literally!”

Ditzy unfurled a wing and wrapped it around the Doctor's neck, crest and withers, drawing him in for an embrace. “Of course, my dear Doctor,” she said, focusing both eyes on him and smiling softly.

The Doctor leaned into her winged embrace, returning the smile. “Thank you, my dear Ditzy.”

Sparkler and Dinky exchanged a glance and rolled their eyes to the ceiling, blowing out a breath. Sparkler finally cleared her throat, getting her parents' attention. “Dad, when you were like in those old photos, that was on Earth, right?” At his acknowledgment, she continued. “Well, with the Rainbow Bridge open, why not take a trip there? I'm sure you could get permission for it.”

Dinky's head bobbed up and down. “Yeah, yeah! You could go there and tell Miss Smith and Mister Brigadier that things are all right for you, and they could come and visit your clock shop!”

Sparkler joined her sister in the head-bobbing. “Yeah!”

The Doctor's smile slowly changed from one of happiness to sadness. He settled into Ditzy's wing and sighed. “Oh, you lovely, lovely children. It's just... not so simple as popping over to this Earth. Because this Earth isn't the Earth that I came from. Not that I came from Earth, but that's not too important.” He paused, sucked in a breath and continued before Dinky, Sparkler or Ditzy could speak. “There's not just one Earth out there, or two or three or four hundred.” He slid the photo album off to Ditzy before hopping off the couch and trotting to the kitchen.

Sparkler leaned back in the couch and let out a weary sigh. “Mom?”

“Yes, Sparkler?”

“Are we gonna need flow charts for whatever Dad's gonna be talking about?”

Ditzy's eyes wandered a bit as the Doctor emerged, cradling a bottle of foamy liquid in the crook of his right foreleg's elbow. In his mouth was a small plastic wand. He set the bottle down, unscrewed it with the pad of his hoof and dipped the wand into the liquid. He held it up and snorted, blowing out bubbles that floated around the room, shimmering and sparkling.

The Doctor smiled as Ditzy, Dinky and Sparkler hopped off the couch and stepped up to him. He barked a laugh as one landed on Dinky's nose. Her eyes focused on the bubble, looking rather like her mother for a moment before it popped. “Now, think of each one of these bubbles as a plane of existence, separate from each other. Each one has stars and planets and moons and nebulae and all the things I've told you about.” His ancient blue eyes looked to Ditzy. “My blue box, the TARDIS. You remember what I told you, right?”

Ditzy nodded. “It can fly through time and space, and it crashed here a long time ago.” She scratched the side of her head, right below her right ear. “But wait, Doctor. You told me you came from...” Her eyes swiveled about, locking onto two of the bubbles at once. “Another dimension?” She suddenly gasped. “That's not the Earth you originally came from!” she exclaimed. Her brow furrowed suddenly in confusion. “But if that's not the Earth you're from, how do you know Perceptor?”

A sad sigh came from the Doctor. He bowed his head and slid a hoof across the hardwood floor. “You're right, my dear Ditzy.” He looked back up, his eyes following a bubble as it floated about. “I landed on that Earth quite by accident during my travels across my own universe's time and space. I stayed there for a few years before returning home.” He let out a sigh. “Perceptor's been helping me fix up the TARDIS, and it's mostly done. But there's not enough power to get me back home.” His gaze swept across his wife and daughters. “Although...”

Sparkler looked to her father. “Yeah, Dad?”

The Doctor let himself smile once more. “I guess I sometimes forget I have a home right here.”

Sparkler groaned and placed a hoof against her forehead, rubbing her temple right below her horn. “Dad, that was so corny,” she said.

“Yes, but it broke the mood,” the Doctor responded. “And besides, it's true.” He looked to Dinky. “Now, then. I believe somepony has a sleepover to get ready for?” He stepped up to Dinky's side and ruffled her mane slightly. “That is, if she got her homework done.”

Dinky squirmed slightly, but remained by her father's side. “Daddy, quit it!” she said. “And my homework's all done. Mommy checked on it before we looked at your old pictures.”

Ditzy nodded as the Doctor looked to her for confirmation. “She got it all done, Doctor.” She unfurled a wing and motioned to a door. “Come on, Dinky. I'll help you get ready for tonight.”

Ditzy and Dinky trotted off, leaving the Doctor and Sparkler behind in the living room. “Now, you'll be all right while we walk Dinky to Sweet Apple Acres?” the Doctor asked. “It is a lovely evening out for a walk, anyway. Although maybe a run would be in order, too. Oh, it's been ages since I had to run anywhere!”

Sparkler snorted. “I'm fine, Dad! Besides, I think you and Mom deserve a little quiet time to yourselves after you drop Dinky off. Herd knows how much you've needed it ever since she joined the Crusaders.”

Both the Doctor and Sparkler looked over as Dinky and Ditzy emerged. “Oh, it's not that bad,” the Doctor remarked. “Compared to some of my old comrades, they're rather quiet.”

Dinky stood next to Ditzy. Tied around her neck was the 'official' dark-red cloak of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, with the blue and gold emblem embroidered on it. A small bag was set at her hooves. She tilted her head back and opened her mouth wide. “Cutie Mark Crusader Sleepover, YAY!” she shouted, causing Ditzy, the Doctor and Sparkler to wince.

“You were saying, Dad?” Sparkler remarked.

The Doctor looked to his her, his right eye widening. “What?”

Four hours later, the Crusaders' treehouse
Applebloom stood over a desk, hooves planted on the wood. Before her lay her grand plan, the magnum opus of her young life. “Ah can see it,” the young earth pony declared. “With this, we'll all git our cutie marks!”

Danielle Richards stood over Applebloom, looking over the schematics. Her eyes widened to almost-normal size. “Applebloom, I'm not an engineer,” she remarked, placing hands on her hips. “But isn't that the friggin' Enterprise from Star Trek?!”

Applebloom looked over her shoulder. “Yeah, why?”

Danielle's eyes rolled to the ceiling. Like the others there, she wore a Crusader cloak tied around her neck. She stepped back, placed her hand on her temple and slowly dragged it down over her face. “Michelle? Dinky? Help?”

Michelle looked over from where she sat on the hardwood floor, brushing Sweetie Belle's mane. “Help with what, building it? I don't know how to build a spaceship.” She suddenly stood up. “Ooh, are we gonna build a spaceship, Danielle?”

Scootaloo trotted over. “We'll be the first foals on the Moon!” she shouted, hopping up and down, her wings buzzing so fast her hooves kicked the air. “What do we need, Applebloom?”

Applebloom turned back the crude caricature of the Enterprise. “Well... anyone know whare we can git some di-lithium crystals?” Her brow furrowed. “Hmm, wonder if tha Dragon Clans could help.”

Danielle threw her hands up into the air. “God, why Star Trek? Why couldn't we have watched The Muppet Show?” She suddenly stopped. “No, no. Bunsen Honeydew!” She waved her hands in the air. “Bad, bad idea, Danielle!”

Sweetie Belle stuck her tongue out at Danielle. “It's not that bad.” Her eyes roamed around the treehouse, finally settling on Dinky sitting near a corner and reading a book. “What do you think, Dinky? Ready to become a Cutie Mark Crusader astronaut?” she said, waiting for a response. After a minute she hopped to her hooves. “Hey, Dinky!” she shouted.

Dinky's head snapped up. “What?” She blinked a few times and her cheeks turned red. “Sorry, Sweetie Belle. I just found this book on...” Her horn glowed and the book flopped closed, allowing Dinky to look over cover. “Apple bucking and your inner zen fascinating?”

Danielle, Applebloom, Michelle, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all walked over to Dinky. “Dinky, what's wrong?” Danielle asked, kneeling down beside her friend. “You've been quiet all night and have just been leafing through books.” She reached out a hand and gently rubbed Dinky's mane. “Can we help?”

Dinky let out a sigh. “It's just... my dad. We were looking through old pictures of him and his friends, from before he moved to Ponyville.” She hesitated for a moment. “He misses them a lot, but he can't visit them because...” Her head darted back and forth before she waved everyone closer with a foreleg. “You know the blue shed in the backyard?” At their nods she swallowed. “It's a time machine, and it brought Daddy from another world to Equestria!” she blurted out. “Please believe me!”

Scootaloo's eyes narrowed and darted back and forth. “A time machine?” She looked right at Dinky, locking eyes with her. “Cool!” she shouted, grinning.

Dinky's head shot around at everyone. “Wait, you believe me?”

Applebloom gasped. “Wait, believe you? What a thing tah say! 'Course we believe you, Dinky!” She held up a hoof. “Yer a Cutie Mark Crusader, after all! And even more, yer our friend! Why wouldn't we believe yah?”

Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Of course we believe you!”

Michelle also nodded. “We believe you. Right, Danielle?”

Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Michelle and Dinky all looked to Danielle. She merely shrugged. “I trust Dinky not to make stuff up. Besides, we've all seen weirder things than a time machine.”

Dinky let out a breath, her body deflating slightly. “Oh, thank you, everyone!” She rose to her hooves, but her eyes were still staring down at the floor. “I just wish I knew how to help Daddy out, you know? He wants to see his old friends so much, but I don't know how to get his machine running again.”

Applebloom blew out a breath. “Well, why don't we all take a look at it and see ifn' we cain't fix it all up? I'm sure there's something we can do fer it!” She trotted to a shelf built into the wall and began putting various tools into a tool belt. “Should just need a couple o' these fer bangin' on it or something.”

Danielle shot to her feet. “Ah, Applebloom, I don't think that's such a good idea to do that without permission. That's Doctor Whooves' and Ditzy's backyard.” She held up her wrist and pointed to her watch. “And I don't relish waking them up to ask about their time machine.”

Dinky trotted over to her bag. Her face scrunched up slightly and a metal chain with several keys floated out. “Don't worry, Danielle. I've got a key to the back gate. We can just go around the back.” She trotted up to the door, stopped and beckoned to everyone there to follow with a wave of her foreleg. Applebloom soon joined her, saddlebags bulging with tools. The two fillies gave each other a high-hoof before walking out into the night.

Danielle opened her mouth again, but Michelle took her by the hand and began pulling while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle began pushing her from behind. Danielle stumbled a bit before lurching forward. “Hey, hey!” She groaned, finally walking forward of her own volition. “This better not end up like that time with the radio contest.”

An hour later, the Crusaders were in the backyard of the Whooves. Danielle looked up and down at a large blue box that was on a patch of concrete. She scratched the side of her head as she read a plaque on the top. “'Police public call box'?” She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and thumbed it on. After a second she rolled her eyes. “Darn it, dead zone.” She held it up and took some pictures of the box. “This looks familiar,” she remarked, leaning forward.

Applebloom trotted up to the box's door and stood on her hind legs. She tapped it a few times. “How do we open it?” She looked to Dinky. “Got a key fer tha lock?”

Dinky trotted up to her friend's side. Her horn glowed and the chain around her neck floated up and over her head to Danielle. “Here. I'm not sure if any of them can open it, though. I've never tried them.”

Danielle grabbed the chain out of midair and selected one. She tried pushing it into the keyhole, only for it to wiggle slightly. She tried another, this one sliding in halfway before stopping. The keys jangled and clacked as she tried each one with no success. The young woman bit her lip and grabbed at the lock itself. “Worth a try,” she mumbled. She barked a laugh as the outer covering slid up. “Ah, all right!” She glanced over to Applebloom and Dinky, her eyes sparkling with triumph. “A false lock.”

“What's going on?”

Danielle, Michelle, Applebloom, Dinky, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all turned to see Sparkler standing a few feet away, her the tip of her horn glowing and partially washing out her magenta coat. She walked forward, the glow intensifying slightly. “Dad is gonna kill you if he finds out what you're doing!” she said, stopping right in front of Dinky and staring down at her younger sister.

Dinky drew herself up to her full height and stared right back at Sparkler. “I'm doing it for him, Sparkler. You saw how sad Daddy was when we were looking at those old pictures of him and his friends. If we can get his time machine working, we can find them!” She finally broke eye contact with Sparkler and kicked lightly at the concrete. Her body shuddered slightly. “I just wanted to do something nice for him.”

The other Crusaders watched on as Sparkler extended a foreleg and wrapped it around Dinky's neck, pulling her in for a hug. “I know,” she said softly. “And I want to help him out, too. But this isn't gonna work.” She let go and looked up to Danielle. “Locked up tight, right?”

Danielle crossed her arms and leaned against the side. “Yeah, Sparkler. None of Dinky's keys fit.” She suddenly dropped down as Applebloom fished a screwdriver out of her saddlebags with her mouth. “And we are not going to pry the lock!”

Applebloom's eyes softened, but finally put the screwdriver back into her saddlebag. “Aww, shucks. I could've gotten mah cutie mark in lockpicking!”

Danielle rubbed her forehead and began standing up, but stopped as something on the ground caught her eye. She knelt down and picked up a piece of silver metal in the rough shape of a spade with several indentations across its surface. She held it up and looked it over with her brown eyes. “Hello, you weren't there before.” She looked to the lock, slid the false plate up and before anyone could say anything, slid it in.

The key slid in with a soft click and turned. Danielle pushed on the door. She held her breath as it swung open... and gasped as she beheld the interior.

Dinky and Sparkler led the rest of the group into a cavernous, two-floor room that looked straight out of a starship. A central column dominated the room, long blue tubes inside a transparent cylinder. A console surrounded the cylinder, with another attached to a bulkhead. Two screens jutted from flexible stands attached to the main console, and a set of stairs opposite the door led up to another door, leading... somewhere.

Scootaloo's eyes wandered about the room, her head following. This is so cool!” she shouted, her wings a blur as they buzzed. She galloped around the room to the far console and hopped up onto it. “What does all this stuff do?” she asked, beginning to push buttons at random.

Sweetie Belle trotted down to the lower level and a large open panel on the main cylinder. “I don't know, but it doesn't look too complicated.” She reached out to the large panel and wrapped her tiny forelegs around a large cable hooked up to a power tap. “I bet if we move around these cables, we can get the power it needs!”

Michelle looked down from the upper level. “That doesn't seem too safe, Sweetie Belle. I think you need some gloves so you don't get cut.” She looked around. “You see any gloves, Danielle?”

Danielle's mouth opened, but no sound came out as she remained standing in the entrance. Everyone turned to look at her. “You all right?” Applebloom asked.

Danielle spun on her heel and ran out, stumbling slightly before regaining her balance and running around the box, her fingers trailing along the exterior. She made a half-dozen circuits before skidding to a halt and bolting back inside. She waved her arms all around, pointing in every direction. “It's... it's...” She swallowed and took several deep breaths. “It's bigger on the inside!” she shouted, eyes as wide as they could be.

The Doctor stirred in his sleep. “What they all say,” he mumbled. A single eye opened and his nostrils flared. “Wait, what's that?”

Sparkler blinked. “Well, yeah. It's kind of obvious. Besides, it's not that odd.” She walked up to the central column and craned her neck. Her purple eyes looked over the dizzying array of buttons and levers. I have no idea what any of this does.” She looked to her right as Dinky walked up beside her. “Sorry.”

Dinky leaned over and nuzzled Sparkler. “It's all right.” She looked out over the controls. “I just wish Daddy took us inside this thing.” She stood up and placed her front hooves onto the console. “I just wish someone could help us...”

A voice boomed out of nowhere, startling everyone inside. “TARDIS voice interface activated.”

Danielle's head shot around. “W-who is that?”

There was a flash of light and the translucent image of a young redheaded girl in an overcoat and pajamas appeared at the foot of the stairs. “I am the TARDIS voice interface,” she said in an accented voice. “I am activated when pilots cannot operate the console.”

Danielle and Applebloom walked over. Applebloom reached out with a shaky hoof, stopping just short of the image. “Are you a ghost?”

“I am the TARDIS voice interface, not a ghost,” the image repeated. Although the tone of the voice was the same, there was still the slightest hint of exasperation behind it.

Dinky and Sparkler bounded over to the interface. “Can you take us back to where Daddy came from?” Dinky blurted out.

The interface focused on the two fillies. “Insufficient power in primary batteries, and the reserve power taps are not connected properly.” The interface paused. “I'm sorry.”

The lights suddenly dimmed and the interface's image flickered. Danielle ran over to the edge of the upper level and knelt down. She rolled her eyes as she spotted Sweetie Belle with an unplugged cable cradled in her forelegs. “Sweetie Belle, what are you doing?”

Sweetie Belle looked up. “Well, I think this has something to do with the power the interface mentioned.” She stood up and poked her head out of the pit. Her cheeks turned scarlet as she saw the darkness. “Whoops.” She dropped back into the pit and wrapped her forelegs around the cable. “Don't worry. I'll fix it!”

Danielle reached out. “Wait, Sweetie Belle, I don't think that's the right-”

The filly plugged the cable into a power tap. There was a shower of sparks and Sweetie Belle flew back, hitting a bulkhead with a thunk. She slid down onto the deck plating, her eyes spinning and her mane and tail standing out in every direction.

Danielle, Scootaloo and Applebloom scrambled down into the lower level. “Sweetie Belle, yah all right?” Applebloom cried out. She grabbed Sweetie Belle by the shoulders and shook her. “Say something!”

Sweetie Belle's head flopped back and forth. “Stop... shaking... me!” She rocked forward to four unsteady hooves. “Ugh, what happened?”

Danielle glanced up as the lights in the upper level brightened once more. “I'd say you found the reserve power.” She waved a hand around her head. “You also look like the bride of Frankenstein.”

Sweetie Belle's eyes widened. She raised a hoof and gingerly touched her now-poofy mane. “Aww, Rarity's gonna kill me!”

A deep thud resounded through the room. Danielle slowly rose to her feet and looked around. “I think Rarity's opinion of your mane is the least of our problems,” she remarked before scrambling up the stairs to the upper level. She stopped right in front of the interface. “What's going on?”

The interface looked up at her. “Reserve power has been accessed. As per Dinky's request, I am retracing the TARDIS' flight path back.” She looked right at Dinky and Sparkler. “Fish fingers and custard. My Thief will know what it means” And with that, the interface faded away.

The door suddenly swung shut. The central column began oscillating up and down, an odd grinding sound emanating from it, like time and space were being torn apart. The entire room shuddered.

Michelle wobbled over to Danielle. “So, should we be panicking yet?”

Danielle looked down at her. “Not yet.” She held up a hand and began counting down with her fingers. As soon as she reached her index finger, the room lurched, sending everyone stumbling and tumbling. “Now we panic!”

The Doctor and Ditzy galloped out of their house just as the TARDIS dematerialized. “No, no no!” the Doctor cried out. He cantered back and forth, waving around a sonic screwdriver strapped to his foreleg. He held it up and looked it over. “Reserve power?! There wasn't any reserve power!”

Ditzy floated up and grabbed the Doctor by her front hooves. “Doctor, what happened?” she cried out. Her eyes focused on the Doctor, drilling into him. “Sparkler's not anywhere in the building. Did she...” One eye drifted over to the patch of concrete the TARDIS formerly stood on.

The Doctor swallowed. “I think that's the best explanation for it, Ditzy. And I'd bet the Hand of Omega that Dinky was aboard, too.”

Ditzy's other eye drifted to the two-story building that was both home and business to the Whooves family. “And if she's there, then the other Crusaders are, too.” She dropped back to the ground. “Oh, I hope they're all right.”

The Doctor walked up to the patch of concrete and looked down at it. “Ditzy?”

“Yes, Doctor?”

His head shot to the left and he glared at a nondescript wooden shed. “When did we get a new garden shed?”

The 'shed' door suddenly opened, smoke billowing out. A tall humanoid emerged, clad in a black suit. He had a neatly-trimmed goatee with white highlights and his black hair was cropped close to his head, with widow's peaks arching back. He held a cylinder in his hand and waved it about. “Ah, Doctor!” the Master proclaimed. “At long last, we have managed to track you down!” He held up his arms and thunder rumbled in the clear night sky. “From Hastus Minor to Gallifrey, from the Medusa Cascade to Earth, we tracked you.” He focused enraged eyes upon the Doctor, but upon seeing the brown-coated pony he stopped dead in his tracks. He tilted his head to the side as he gazed down. “I'm sorry,” he mumbled. His head shot around. “Am... I in the right place?”

The Doctor rolled his eyes to the star-filled sky. “Master, it's me.”

“Me who?”

There was the barest of hesitations before the Doctor shook his head. “Nah, too easy.” He placed a foreleg on his chest. “It's me, Master. It's the Doctor, all three feet of him.” A grunt from behind caught his attention. “Oh, and my lovely wife, Ditzy Doo Whooves.”

Ditzy bowed her head. “Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.”

The Master blinked. He took a step back, his eyes widening. “D-Doctor?!” he sputtered out. The renegade Time Lord held a gloved hand to his mouth and bit down hard on his lip, but chortles of laughter escaped him. His cheeks turned beet-red as he nearly doubled over from paroxysms of laughter. He jabbed his free hand at the Doctor as he continued to laugh.

Ditzy leaned close to the Doctor. “Is he normally like this?” she asked, one eye on her husband and the other on the Master.

The Doctor shrugged. “Eh, I'll give him this one.” He took a few steps forward, whinnying and nickering. He waited for the laughter to finally die down before speaking. “Oi, Master! Will you stop with the laughing? It's me. It's the Doctor, in the flesh – well, not that Flesh, but the flesh. Oh, you know what I mean!”

The Master cleared his throat and straightened up. For a moment, he was silent. Then he snorted, his body shaking a bit. “I'm sorry,” he said, his voice muffled.

A sigh escaped the Doctor. “Are you done?”

“Well, you must admit, this is all rather humorous. I've heard of going native, but this is ridiculous!” He bent down slightly. “What on Gallifrey happened?!”

The Doctor shrugged. “Well, when I landed it was rough enough to trigger regeneration. It locked onto the nearest form and...”

“And here you are, a pony.” The Master's head jutted forward as he looked the Doctor over. “I say, how do you do anything with those ridiculous appendages?” he asked, motioning to the Doctor's hooves.

Ditzy's face scrunched up in anger. “Hey!”

The Doctor held his foreleg up once more and pointed it at the Master. “No more silly banter, Master,” the Doctor declared. “Now give it up. Ditzy and I have you outnumbered.”

The Master snorted. “Oh, you think I came alone?” He stood back up and stepped back, raising the cylinder in his hand and pointing it at the Doctor. “Come out, Cyber-Leader!”

A tall humanoid emerged from the Master's TARDIS, covered from head to toe in silver armor. His expressionless faceplate was black, as well as handlebars on the side of his head. His forehead was transparent, revealing an organic brain inside. He tapped his chest with his left hand and raised his right arm, pointing a gauntlet-mounted energy weapon at the Doctor. “You will tell us where the Doctor is,” the Cyber-Leader commanded.

The Master slowly looked over and cleared his throat. “That is the Doctor.” He held up a hand. “I'll explain later. The point is, that's him.”

The Cyber-Leader turned its entire body to regard the Master. “You are positive in your identification?” At the Master's exasperated nod it looked back. “You will surrender yourself or be deleted.”

The Doctor arched an eyebrow. “A Cyber-Leader? What, did Davros not return your calls?” He looked to the still-open TARDIS door. “Got any Cybermen in there?”

The Master rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Do you seriously think I'd let more than one of them inside? They'd try to hijack the TARDIS and then there'd be a fight. As for Davros, he muttered something about caterpillar treads or something.” He shrugged. “You know how he is.” He waved the cylinder around. “Now, come on, Doctor. Surrender, or suffer my wrath!”

The Doctor held his sonic screwdriver up high. “Oh, no! I'm stopping you two here and now.” The sonic screwdriver's tip lit up. “Don't try anything.”

The Master snorted. “I think the horseshoe is on the other hoof, Doctor. For you see, my tissue compression eliminator has a wood casing!” He waved to the Cyber-Leader. “And my dear friend has had his ventilation systems overhauled, so gold is no longer a weakness!” His smile turned into a sneer as he aimed his weapon, the emitter glowing. “So, Doctor. Surrender or you and your wife will be destroyed!”

The Doctor lowered his foreleg. “All right, Master. You win.” He glanced to the bare patch of concrete. “For now.”

Author's Note

Special thanks to Madfish, GBScientist and others at the Spacebattles forum for their help with this chapter. Especially Madfish for the last part.
Sorry if it's a bit Who-heavy. I've provided links.
After a bit of thinking, I realized that NONE of the Crusaders would have any real reason to doubt Dinky's assertion that her daddy has a time machine.
Yes, i am trying to make Danielle the only sane one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Why do you ask? :p
the Master is physically based off of Roger Delgado, the first Master. It is a small, but sincere tribute.
The sonic screwdriver cannot affect wood. And Cybermen in the Classic series became deathly allergic to gold.

Family reunion Part Two: Memories

It was a somewhat gloomy day at 13 Bannerman Road. Two ladies stood in the attic, a general mood of unease around them. The first was Sarah Jane Smith, an intrepid reporter and old friend of the Doctor's. She stood there, arms crossed and her mouth turned down in a frown. Her brown eyes flicked from side to side before finally settling on the other occupant of the attic, a younger woman named Carol. “Nothing?”

Carol, a woman in her mid-twenties with short, curly black hair and eyes that seemed focused on something just beyond her line of sight, shook her head. “Nothing, Miss Smith,” she said in a lilting voice. “None of my leads panned out with the Doctor. I'm sorry.”

Sarah Jane placed a hand on Carol's shoulder and squeezed gently. “No need to be sorry.” She looked to the far wall and a fireplace there. “Mister Smith, I need you!”

The fireplace's brick chimney slid up, revealing a large computer screen. An elaborate computer console slid out of the hearth, with all sorts of blinking lights and levers. All the while a loud fanfare played over embedded speakers as Mister Smith activated. “Yes, Sarah Jane?”

Sarah Jane rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Always with the fanfare,” she muttered, slowly smiling. She and Carol walked up to the supercomputer. “Mister Smith, any new information on the Doctor?”

“I'm afraid not,” Mister Smith replied. “Even with K9's data on TARDIS schematics, I have not been able to locate the Doctor subjectively after he collapsed the Dalek's portal into void space.” There was a pause before Mister Smith continued. “Sarah Jane, incoming temporal signature. It's Captain Jack Harkness.”

There was a flash of light right behind Carol and Sarah Jane. Both turned to see a flash of light and a man appearing, seemingly in mid-jump as his feet touched the floor. Captain Jack Harkness, formerly of the Time Agency and of Torchwood, tugged on his longcoat and flashed a roguish smile. “Miss Smith, always a pleasure,” he said, holding his arms out and bowing slightly. He focused on Carol and extended his hand to her. “Hello, there. I'm Jack Harkness, and you are?”

Sarah Jane stepped forward and grabbed his hand with both of hers. “Jack, this is Carol. We met each other right before the Doctor disappeared. Carol, this is Captain Jack Harkness, a time traveler,” she said, her voice hitching at the final words.

Carol half-smiled. “The Doctor actually recommended me to Miss Smith. I'm rather grateful to him for doing that.”

Jack nodded. He jerked his arm back a few times, finally releasing it from Sarah Jane's surprisingly strong grip. “Thanks, Sarah Jane.” He eyed her warily and flexed his fingers. “Yeesh, I was just introducing myself.”

Sarah Jane nodded. “I know.” She leaned forward. “That's how it always starts with you,” she said, smirking before continuing. “So, any news about the Doctor from your end?”

Jack let out a sigh. “Sorry, but nothing from my end. None of my sources turned up anything.” He paused and shook his head. “I don't think the Doctor survived this time, Sarah Jane. I'm sorry.”

Carol spoke up. “I don't know, Captain. I only met him once, but he seemed so...” She waved a hand in the air as she groped for words. “Larger than life? Invincible?”

Jack tilted his head from side to side in thought. “Good words, but I don't think it worked out for him this time.”

Any further discussion was interrupted by Mister Smith speaking once more. “Sarah Jane, the front door has opened. Two humans have entered.”

Jack's coat fluttered as he pulled out a sonic disruptor from a shoulder holster and held it high. “Expecting company?” he asked, thumbing the disruptor's power button.

Sarah Jane marched over to Jack and grabbed his arm. “Mister Harkness, stand down, please! I am expecting company.” She glanced over her shoulder at Carol. “And I'd prefer you not making Carol nervous.”

Carol waved her off. “Oh, I'm quite all right, Sarah Jane.”

Mister Smith spoke up again. “Captain Jack, there is no need for weaponry. The two entrants are Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart and Dorothy McShane.”

Jack glanced to Sarah Jane before shrugging. He switched off the disruptor and holstered it once more. “Can't be too careful.”

The attic door swung open. An older gentleman walked in. He wore a gray suit, leaned on a cane with a gold handle and had a rather bushy mustache. Gripping his free arm was a younger lady with honey-blond hair. She wore a black jacket, with a backpack slung over one shoulder and two silver canisters poking out of the flap.

Jack straightened to attention. “Brigadier,” he said, saluting. He looked to the young lady and grinned. “Hello, Ace.”

Ace waved a hand at him. “Hey, Jack.” She looked over at Carol and grinned. “Oi, Carol, having fun with Sarah Jane and the kids?” She walked over and slapped Carol on the back, pulling her in for a one-armed hug.

The Brigadier, meanwhile, returned Jack's salute. “Good to see you again, Harkness. But please, I retired. It's not 'Brigadier' any longer.”

Jack shook his head. “Sorry, but to me, you'll always be the Brigadier.” He smirked. “Or Sir Brigadier, maybe?”

The Brigadier sighed, but his expression brightened as he beheld Sarah Jane. He slipped his arm out of Ace's grasp and walked up to his old friend, extending his arms for an embrace. “Miss Smith, always a pleasure.”

Sarah Jane returned the hug. “Oh, Brigadier!” She let go, stepped back and looked him over. “You're looking well.” She hesitated for a moment before speaking once more. “Anything?”

The Brigadier shook his head. “I'm afraid not.” He glanced to Jack. “The Doctor left behind a transmitter tied to the TARDIS, saying he'd come right away whenever we used it. I dug it out of an old storage locker at UNIT Headquarters, but I'm afraid nothing.”

Jack's mouth set into a grim line. “Well, if he won't show up for his two best friends,” he said, waving a hand at Sarah Jane and then the Brigadier, “then I think... he's really gone this time.”

The mood of everyone there quickly darkened. Ace let out a breath. “The Professor? Gone?” She shook her head and looked to Jack. “I can't believe it. I just... I can't! I've thought he was dead before, but he always came back. It didn't seem like anything could take him out.” She half-smiled when Carol placed a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks.”

Mister Smith spoke up, drawing everyone's attention back to him. “Attention, incoming temporal event. The energy matches the TARDIS.”

Sarah Jane let out a gasp as the familiar grinding sound of the TARDIS' engines reverberated throughout the attic. She belted out a laugh as she spotted the familiar blue box fading into view in front of Mister Smith and walked over, the other four following right behind. “Oh, I knew he'd be back!” Her grin changed to a scowl. “Oh, I'm giving him a piece of my mind when he opens up!” She knocked her fist against the TARDIS' door. “Doctor? Doctor!”

The Brigadier stepped up beside her. His upper lip twitched. “I don't like this. The last time he suddenly reappeared and the TARDIS stayed shut like this...” He raised his cane and banged it against the door. “Doctor, please come out. You're starting to worry us all.”

Ace stepped up beside the Brigadier. “What happened the last time the Professor reappeared like this, Brigadier?”

A sigh escaped the old man. “He tumbled out, fell to the floor and regenerated. Left an awful amount of paperwork to be filled out,” he said, chuckling.

Carol walked around the TARDIS, stopping at the front, her fingers brushing against the exterior. She cocked her head to the side. “Does anyone else hear something?” Her left hand slipped inside her jacket pocket and her fingers curled around a fob watch inside. “I swear...”

“... I shall come back. Yes, I shall come...”

“Carol? Hey, Carol!”

Carol blinked and started. Her head whipped to the left. “Ace, when did you get there?”

Ace leaned back slightly and eyed Carol. “Just now.” She snapped her fingers in front of Carol's face. “You all right?”

Carol slowly shook her head. “I thought I heard voices.” She let out a nervous chuckle. “I'm sorry, Ace. I know how silly that sounds.”

Ace shook her head. She leaned over and turned her head in the direction of the supercomputer in the fireplace. “Oi, Mister Smith? Mind scanning for any weird voices?” She looked back to Carol and slapped her on the forearm. “In our line of work, nothing's really too silly.” She let out a gasp as the TARDIS doors opened. “Oh, about time, Pro...” Her voice trailed off as she, Carol, Sarah Jane, the Brigadier and Jack all caught movement below their line of sight and looked down at what was emerging. “Oh, wicked!”

A small, violet-coated foal with a blond mane and a horn sticking out of its-her-forehead walked out. She looked around with wide, inquisitive eyes before raising a foreleg in the air and waving it about. “Hi!” she squeaked out.

Jack bit his lip. He leaned against the TARDIS, rubbing his forehead as his entire body shook. Finally, he slid to the floor, laughing. His face turned beet-red as gales of tears streamed down his cheeks. He gestured at the foal. “D-D-Doctor...” He waved a hand in the air, completely incoherent for the moment.

The Brigadier leaned back and glanced at the ceiling. “Oh, bother.” He looked back down at the foal and spread his arms wide. “Doctor, what have you gotten into this time?”

The foal blinked. “Wait, Doctor?” She shook her head. “No, no no! That's my dad!” She drew herself up straight and looked around. “My name is Dinky Doo Whooves, and it's a pleasure to finally meet you all!”

Carol knelt down. “Dinky?” She rubbed her forehead, brushing away some errant bangs. “You're the Doctor's daughter?”

Dinky nodded. “That's right, Miss...” She suddenly stopped and got a faraway look in her eyes. “Do I know you?”

Ace blinked. “Why would you know Carol? And the Professor took you in?” She grinned. “That's just like him, always helping others out.”

Dinky shook her head. “Daddy didn't take me in. Well, when he and Mommy got back from Ponyville General, they did. But I've got a key so I can let myself in nowadays! “She scrunched her eyebrows before gasping. “Oh, you're Ace!” She looked around at everyone, rubbing her chin. “And you're Miss Sarah Jane Smith, you're Mister Brigadier and you're Jack Harkness.”

Ace scratched the side of her head in confusion. “Wait, what are you going on about? Back from Ponyville General?”

Dinky nodded. “Yeah, where I was born. You see, when a mommy pony and a daddy pony love each other very much –“

“Whoa, whoa!” Jack blurted out. He waved his hand in Dinky's general direction. “Dinky, are you saying that the Doctor... is your biological father?”

Dinky nodded. “That's right,” she said, beaming. “And he's the best father in all of Equestria!”

Silence reigned for a few moments before Ace finally spoke up. “But if you're a pony, and he's your father, and not just adopted then...” Her voice trailed off as implications began sinking in.

Jack let out a breath. “Okay, I'll ask.” He focused on Dinky. “Dinky, your father, the Doctor, is he like you?”

Dinky shook his head. “Oh, no, Mister Harkness.”

Sarah Jane let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank goodness.”

Dinky pointed to her horn. “He's an earth pony, not a unicorn. Oh, and he wears a tie and collar. And he's got a cutie mark, too.”

Sarah Jane jabbed her finger at Dinky. “The Doctor... he's a pony?” At Dinky's nod she let out a chuckle. “Oh, now this is a bit odder than the usual changes he goes through.” She paused. “Not by too much, but still out there for him.”

Jack blinked. “Just a 'bit', Sarah Jane? The Doctor's a pony. According to little Dinky here, the Doctor's a pony.”

Dinky nodded. “Yeah, just like Mommy, myself and Sparkler. We're all ponies.” The smile fell away and she shrank back a bit. “Is that a bad thing, Mister Harkness?”

Jack swallowed. “No, of course not, Dinky! Nothing wrong with that at all!”

Ace leaned on the TARDIS. “Wait, who's Sparkler?”

A voice sounded from inside the time machine. “I'm Sparkler!” The door opened a bit more, revealing a larger unicorn with a pinkish coat, purple mane and a trio of diamonds on each side of her flank. She looked around and let out a gasp. “Oh, wow! This is Sarah Jane's attic!” She glanced to Sarah Jane and jabbed a foreleg at her. “And you're Sarah Jane Smith! You're one of Dad's best friends!”

Jack looked up at Sarah Jane, smirking. “'Best friend', hmm?” He waved his hand around. “What did he tell you about the rest of us?” he asked, flashing a smile. He suddenly jumped up as Ace kicked him in the side. “Ouch!”

Ace glowered at him. “Lay off, Jack.”

More voices came from inside the TARDIS. “Hey, what about us?”

“Can we come out?”

The door fully opened, revealing three more ponies about Dinky's size, one with wings, another unicorn and a pony with a red ribbon in her mane. Two girls stood right behind them, the older one leaning against the doorjamb and looking rather green. “Did-did anyone catch the number on that bus that ran me over?”

Dinky let out a gasp. “Oh, I'm sorry!” She stepped to the side and began waving at the new arrivals. “This is Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Michelle Richards and Danielle Richards. They helped getting the TARDIS to work and get us here.”

Sweetie Belle stood up on her hind legs and waved her forelegs in the air. “I got the backup power working!” She dropped back to all fours and her eyes widened. “I saw things...”

Applebloom rolled her eyes. “Yer just lucky it didn't kill yah!”

Scootaloo sat back on her haunches and crossed her foreleg. “I didn't even get to pilot the TARDIS!”

Michelle looked to Danielle. “It's probably a good thing you didn't try, Scootaloo.” She stepped forward and turned to face the three fillies. “Don't go wandering off anywhere. It wouldn't be polite. And I think Danielle needs a bit of support.”

Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle all let out groans, but remained by the door.

Sarah Jane smiled. “Well, a pleasure to meet you all.” She placed a hand on her chest. “I'm Sarah Jane Smith.” She then motioned to everyone else in the attic. “This is Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Jack Harkness, Dorothy McShane and Carol.”

“But you can call me Ace,” Ace interjected.

Dinky, meanwhile, walked up to Carol and stared straight up at her. “I know you... why do I know you? Daddy never showed me any pictures of you.”

Carol briefly looked to Ace before taking a step back. “I-I've never met you before either, Dinky.” She screwed her eyes shut and rubbed her temple. “And now... voices.”

Ace's eyes went from Carol to Dinky. “Okay, now that's not a coincidence. You heard voices when you saw the TARDIS, and now more with Dinky, the Professor's daughter?” She focused on Dinky. “Dinky, do you hear voices, too?”

Sparkler trotted around Jack and over to Dinky's side. She too looked up at Carol, who was now becoming the center of attention in the attic. “Wait, I know you too. Wait, no. Yes?” She turned her head as Sarah Jane walked over. “Why does she feel familiar to us, Miss Smith?”

Jack, now standing behind Sparkler and Dinky, leaned forward. “Carol, voices? What do the voices say, precisely?”

Carol screwed her eyes shut and tapped her forehead. “'I shall come back', and bits and pieces of an old man.” She reached one hand out into the air, the other still in her jacket pocket. “I can see him, almost. But it's just there. He looks kind, at least.”

Dinky suddenly jumped up onto her hind legs. She planted her fore hooves onto Carol's upper abdomen, sending her stumbling back. Sarah Jane and Ace reached out to Carol, but the younger woman fell back out of their reach. Her right hand clawed at the air and her left hand shot out of the pocket, still clutching the fob watch. The steel-colored watch with elaborate etchings all across its case sailed out of her grasp, catching Jack's attention. He let out a shout of horror as the watch hit the floor hard, the cover springing open.

Silvery tendrils of energy snaked out of the watch face, speeding to Carol and enveloping her head in a soft glow. Her eyes turned silver as her head absorbed the energy. She sucked in a breath...

“Grandfather, what are you doing?”

“Life on Gallifrey was too boring, my dear. So I stole a TARDIS. Would you like to come?”

“One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back...”

“It's not just a war, Susan. It's bigger than that. Gallifrey is arming for war, and the Daleks are doing the same. I've got a bad feeling, so I have this for you. It's called a chameleon arch.”

Carol's eyes blinked as they turned back to their normal color. She looked around the attic, a smile forming on her face. “I know. I know, now. It's all so clear to me” She looked to Dinky. “Thank you ever so much.”

Danielle, still leaning against the TARDIS' doorjamb, leaned forward and looked to her right. “Okay, what happened and why is the room still spinning?”

Jack looked over his shoulder at Danielle. “I think Carol's not really Carol.”

Ace shot him a glare. “What do you mean? What was that damned thing?” She took a step forward, but Jack grabbed her arm. Her eyes narrowed. “Oi, watch it, Jack!”

Jack waved her off. “That was a chameleon arch, Ace. It's a piece of Time Lord technology.” He raised his arm to his holster. “Those tendrils of energy? It's the essence of a Time Lord.”

Sarah Jane gasped. “So Carol is...” She looked to her assistant. “Carol, if I may ask, who are you?”

Carol looked to Sarah. “Well, Sarah Jane, I'm afraid my name isn't actually 'Carol'.” She pointed to the center of her chest. “It's actually Susan Foreman.”

Dinky and Sparkler exchanged a glance. “This is great!” Dinky exclaimed, grinning. “We found our niece!” She drew herself up. “You may call me Aunt Dinky, Susan.”

Susan dropped to one knee and wrapped an arm around Dinky and Sparkler's necks, drawing them in for a hug. “I suppose I'll have to call you both 'Aunt', Dinky. Thank you.”

The Brigadier let out a chuckle. “Susan Foreman, the Doctor's granddaughter!” He walked up to her and extended a hand. “My dear, the Doctor told me about you during his days at UNIT. A pleasure to finally meet you at last.”

Susan stood up and took the Brigadier's hand. “Oh, Grandfather told me a bit about you as well, Brigadier. He also told me all about you, Sarah Jane,” she said, looking to her. Susan looked to Jack and frowned. “No need for the sonic disruptor, Jack. You know how Grandfather feels about guns, after all.”

Jack rolled his eyes, but his hand dropped.

Ace's eyes narrowed as she looked Susan over. “So... what happened to Carol? Is this like with the Professor and when he regenerated? I mean... Carol was my friend.” her hands clenched. “And if she's just gone, then that's not sitting too well with me.”

Susan held up a hand. “Oh, no, Ace! Carol's still here. She's me, and I'm her. I'm just a bit more than Carol. I'm also Susan as well. But I still remember everything we did, and all the scrapes we got into that I didn't tell Sarah Jane about.”

Ace surged forward, grabbing Carol's shoulder and leaning forward. “Hey, you promised not to spill about that!”

Sarah Jane frowned. “Wait, what scrapes? What have you and Carol-sorry, you and Susan been up to, Ace?” She planted her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side, staring a hole through Ace's back.

Ace let out a groan. “Oh, damn.” She turned to Sarah Jane. “I swear, they shot first! It was self-defense, and we stopped a Cyberman invasion to boot!”

Danielle cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. “Okay, everyone. So Susan, you're Doctor Whoove's granddaughter?” At Susan's acknowledgment she waved a hand at the three fillies standing in front of her, her younger sister at her side and then at herself. “I hate to ask for some explanation that you folks already know, but...” She groaned and threw up her hand. “Oh, forget it. You're the one we're looking for. Dinky and Sparkler like you.” She finally stood up, wobbling for a moment. Michelle grabbed her arm, helping her to steady her stance. “Thanks, Michelle.”

Sarah Jane looked to Danielle. “Well, the feeling's mutual, Danielle. I mean the Doctor surviving his last battle, ending up wherever he did, turning into a pony and having children. It's all rather a bit much to take in for us.” Her gaze drifted to Susan, Dinky and Sparkler. “But... it is good that's he's alive and happy.”

Dinky spoke up. “Miss Sarah Jane, Daddy really misses you. I know this is kinda sudden, but is there any way you could come for a visit?” She looked down, kicking the floor slightly.

There was silence for a few moments. Sarah Jane suddenly started walking to the TARDIS. “Well, I don't know about you, but I'm somewhat in the mood for an adventure. At least before I get too old,” she said, winking. “Besides, I'd like to see what the Doctor turned into this time.”She stopped right in front of Danielle and held out a hand. “Miss Richards, may I come aboard?”

Danielle let out a laugh and took Sarah Jane's hand. “Of course, Miss Smith.”

Sarah Jane chuckled as the two walked inside. “Oh, Sarah Jane will do. Ah, still bigger on the inside.”

Jack followed the pair. Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Michelle all disappeared inside the TARDIS, leaving the Brigadier, Susan, Dinky, Sparkler and Ace still outside for the moment. Sparkler looked up at Ace. “Miss McShane, Dad talked a lot about you back home. It'd mean the world to him to see you again. You as well, Brigadier,” she said, looking to the older man.

Ace looked to the Brigadier. “Well, I don't think we should disappoint the Professor.” She walked up to the door, stopping and looking back. “Well, come on then! He still owes you a drink!”

The Brigadier belted out a laugh. “Quite right, quite right!” He held his hand out to Susan, who took it. The two walked onto the TARDIS, Dinky and Sparkler following.

Sparkler looked to Dinky. “We're gonna be grounded for life. You realize this, right?”

Dinky shrugged as the pair entered the main control room, the door slamming shut behind them. “Yeah, but it's been fun, at least.” She looked over at the main console, Susan standing in front of it. “Susan, what are you doing?”

Susan's hands danced across buttons and slide bars. The central column lit up and began moving up and down as the now-familiar grinding noise echoed out throughout the room. “Grandfather showed me how to pilot the TARDIS,” she said. She looked to Danielle, sitting in a chair next to the bulkhead. “Danielle, could you assist me, please? Sarah Jane, Ace, Brigadier, Jack, you as well? It would be far smoother for us all.”

Sarah Jane chuckled. “Oh, of course! How could I forget?”

“Forget what?” Danielle asked.

Sarah Jane shrugged as she stepped in front of a control panel. “The Doctor told me once that a TARDIS needs six pilots to properly operate.” She looked over the panel and the dizzying array of flashing lights and buttons. “Although I'm not sure how even Time Lords knew what to do with this mess.”

Ace shook her head as she approached a control panel next to Sarah Jane. “Oh, no wonder the Professor could never steer this thing properly.”

Danielle, Michelle and the Brigadier took positions at the remaining consoles, but Scootaloo bounded up to the central column and stood up on her hind legs. “Hey, can I help?” she asked, leaning heavily on a lever and pushing it forward.

The TARDIS suddenly heaved to the right, sending Danielle flying back and onto the deck. She landed with a small thump and stared up at the ceiling. “I knew it was going too smoothly.”

Jack was by her side in an instant. He held out his hand and helped her to her feet. “The little ones have a habit of this?”

Danielle rubbed the nape of her neck and cracked her head from side to side. “Just a few times. I think Michelle and I have a phobia now of tree sap and kites.”

Susan, meanwhile, gently pushed Scootaloo's hooves off the console before pulling the lever forward. The TARDIS suddenly 'righted' itself. “Scootaloo, we should be fine with this,” she said. “Could you please go and make sure the sensors are all right over there?” she asked, pointing to a screen set into the bulkhead.

Scootaloo hung her head, but trotted over to the screen. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

Susan turned back to the central column, but before she could do anything, the lights suddenly went off and the central column stopped moving. She ran over to a railing overlooking the lower level and leaned over it, looking down at the central power core and the taps leading from it to the TARDIS proper. “Sweetie Belle, what are you doing?”

Sweetie Belle looked up. She had her forelegs wrapped around a power tap that she had just yanked out. Goggles were strapped around her eyes. “I'm trying to get more power for this thing!” She turned back to the various junctions before jamming the power tap into a random one. “This should do!”

The control room was suddenly bathed in red lights. “Warning; power overload. TARDIS destruct in thirty seconds.”

Sweetie Belle grabbed the power tap and yanked it out. The red lights died down. “Whoops. Sorry.” She plugged it back into its former receptacle and the lights came back up once more.

Susan threaded her fingers together and looked over at Danielle. “Does this happen often?”

Danielle looked to Scootaloo, then to Applebloom as she climbed up onto the central column next to Sarah Jane and pushed a button with a hoof. “More or less.”

Time passed as the TARDIS moved among the veil separating realities. Danielle leaned against the central column, observing Susan as she operated the controls. Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Scootaloo, Dinky and Sparkler were all laying down next to a bulkhead, fast asleep. The only other conscious occupant was Jack.

Susan glanced up at Danielle. “Something the matter?”

Danielle straightened up. “What? Oh, no. Sorry!” She scratched the back of her head and forced a smile. “I just think the utter weirdness of today is finally catching up with me.” Her hand shot up to her mouth as she yawned.

Jack looked up. “I think more than just the weirdness of the day's catching up with you, Danielle. As for weirdness, this day's been positively boring for me. I haven't even been shot at or shot at anything.” He looked down at the controls in front of him. “Is the Eye of Harmony supposed to be set to 'flambe'?”

Susan shook her head. “It should be on 'lightly toasted', if I'm reading this right. So, Danielle. What's the world like where Grandfather is?”

Danielle's head whipped around to Susan. “Well, the planet itself, I don't know much about. I'm from another planet and possibly from another dimension from where the Doctor is. But the town where he lives? It's called Ponyville. Most of the time it's nice and quiet. Although sometimes all hell breaks loose.”

Jack stifled a chuckle. “Would any of this hell breaking loose be the result of those ponies over there?” he asked, pointing to the still-sleeping foals and filly.

Danielle's mouth opened, but her shoulder slumped and she threw up her arms. “I think I've aged ten years since Michelle and I met them.” She turned around as Jack began laughing. “What?”

Jack waved her off as he continued laughing. His cheeks turned red and tears rolled down his cheeks. He planted a hand on the console to brace himself. “I... I... oh, wow.” He sucked in a few deep breaths and steadied himself. “Okay, I'm all right,” he finally said.

Danielle stared at him for a moment. Okay, I'd ask, but at the moment I'll pass.” She looked back to Susan. “How much longer before we reach Equestria?”

Susan's eyes lost focus for a moment. “A few more minutes, Danielle. We're taking a somewhat safer route than the one the TARDIS passed through. We'll do a quick scan, materialize and then... I'll see Grandfather again.” A nervous giggle escaped her. “Oh, it's been so long, for both of us!” She ran her hands down her jacket in nervousness.

Danielle placed a hand on Susan's forearm. “I'm sure he'll be overjoyed to see you again. He'll laugh, cry, hug you. Then he'll ground Dinky and Sparkler for life. Then the rest of us will be grounded for the rest of our lives by our own parental units.” She crossed her arms and shook her head, smiling. “But, it will be worth it.”

The central column's oscillations slowed down. Jack grabbed a viewscreen and turned it to face him. “We've crossed dimensions, Susan. We're backtracking the path the TARDIS took out of the system.” His head tilted back slightly. “Geocentric star system? A bit unusual, but nice. And this is definitely a pocket dimension too, Danielle. Pretty small reality, all things considered.”

Danielle walked over to Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Dinky and Sparkler and knelt down beside them. She reached out and nudged Sparkler on the shoulder. “Sparkler, we're almost back home.”

Sparkler's and Dinky's eyes shot open. The sisters shot to their hooves. “We're almost home!” Dinky cried, trotting over to Susan's side.

Sparkler joined her sister by Susan, standing opposite her younger sister. “I can't wait until you see Dad, or Mom!” She suddenly gasped. “Oh, we haven't told you about Mom yet!” Her head darted around. “I don't think Dad's got any pictures of her in here.”

Jack bit back a laugh. “Well, we'll be seeing Missus Doctor soon enough.” He gripped the console as the TARDIS rocked gently.

Susan leaned forward and spoke into a microphone. “Everyone, we'll be landing in a few minutes. Please report to the control room.” She glanced up at a viewscreen and twisted a knob. “The autopilot is using the energy trail the TARDIS left behind as a guide. We shouldn't have any problems landing right in Grandfather's backyard.” Her face seemed to glow. “And then I'll see Grandfather again.”

Danielle poked at Scootaloo. “Okay, you foals. Time to rise and shine. At least for a couple more hours.”

Scootaloo let out a groan and rolled over onto her side. “Five more minutes, Mom,” she mumbled. One of her eyes opened and her head rose. “Wait, are we there, yet?”

Jack's eyes shifted to his right. “The more things change,” he muttered. He looked back to the screen hanging in front of his head. “Wait a second. Susan, there's another energy trail here, leading from our dimension straight down to the planet. And it's definitely not this TARDIS, either.”

Any response was cut short when one of the doors slid open. Sarah Jane, the Brigadier and Michelle walked into the control room, chatting about old times. Ace followed the trio, a baseball bat clutched tightly in her left hand and a sour expression on her face. She held the bat up, showing off a large weld around the center of the bat. “The Professor told me it was broken back when we fought the Daleks!”

Jack shook his head. “Not now, Ace.” He flipped some switches and turned a crank. “I'm tracking an energy trail that is definitely not this TARDIS, but it's definitely a TARDIS.”

Dinky trotted over to Jack's side, eyes wide. “What is it, Mister Harkness? If this isn't from Daddy's TARDIS, what's it from?”

The Brigadier stood on the opposite side of Jack and looked up at the screen. He leaned heavily on his cane. “Jack, Romana didn't know where the Doctor was. So that can't be her TARDIS. But there's one other back where we came from who has a TARDIS.” He glanced to the younger-looking man. “And we both know who that is.”

Dinky looked up at the Brigadier. “Who is it, Mister Brigadier?”

The Brigadier's free hand clenched. “He's known as the Master, Dinky. He's one of the Doctor's worst enemies. I don't know if he told you about him.”

Sparkler bit her lip and furrowed her brow. The unicorn kicked a hoof against the deck. “I think... a few times? Dinky, do you remember?”

Dinky shook her head. “Daddy never mentioned him to me, Sparkler. Is Daddy and Mommy all right, Mister Brigadier?”

The Brigadier leaned on his cane as he stretched out his hand and ruffled Dinky's mane. “They will be Dinky. They've got friends and family coming to help out.”

“And the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Scootaloo cried out, thrusting a hoof into the air.

Jack shrugged. “Well, that's.. good.” He pressed another button. “I'm gonna zoom in on where this TARDIS' energy trail leads to with the scanners to see...” His voice trailed off as the image of a two-story building and its backyard appeared. The image wavered a bit before focusing in on the Cyber-Leader standing there. “Okay, that puts a damper on things.”

Danielle's jaw canted to the right. “What is that thing, one of the Doctor's old enemies?”

The Brigadier spoke up. “It's called a Cyberman, Danielle. And yes, they can be very dangerous. I know from experience.”

Sparkler reared back, placing her front hooves on the console beside Susan and making sure not to touch any controls. She gazed at the image of the backyard on the screen.“Susan, could you focus on the area just behind the Cyberman, please? There's something weird there.”

Susan nodded. “All right, Sparkler.”

“Aunt Sparkler!” Dinky piped up.

There was a pause before Susan shrugged. “All right, 'Aunt' Sparkler.” She twisted a knob and the image slid down, expanding on the area just behind the Cyber-Leader. “What is it?”

Sparkler leaned to her right and looked across the central column. “Mister Harkness, could you help Dinky up, please?”

Jack nodded. He bent down, scooped the foal into his arms and, with a grunt, lifted her up so she could stare at the viewscreen. Dinky rubbed her chin. “Sparkler, when did Daddy get a new tool shed?”

“He didn't,” Sparkler responded. “Where did that come from?”

Jack set Dinky back down. “My guess is that's the Master's TARDIS, using a perception filter over it.” He looked to Danielle, Michelle and the Crusaders. “It's a piece of Time Lord technology. I'll explain later.”

The Brigadier let out a sigh. “Well, we've got a bit of a problem.” He waved a hand around in the air. “When this thing lands, it's not exactly equipped for silent running. When we materialize, that thing and half the town will know we've landed.”

Jack let out a chuckle. “Way ahead of you, Brigadier. We can materialize the TARDIS so the Cyberman's inside the control room. We can take it out without alerting the Master.”

“And I can set the landing sequence so the grinding won't sound out,” Susan added. “Although it will be tricky. There's a reason just about every TARDIS landing has that sound, after all.”

Michelle spoke up. “But with what?” She suddenly gulped as everyone turned to her. “Well, like Mister Harkness said. Take that Cyberman out with what?”

Ace smiled and placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder. “Don't worry, Michelle,” she said, holding up her bat. “I got this in hand.”

The Cyber-Leader stood out in the backyard of the Doctor's residence, sensors reaching out. He was in the midst of planning the cyberforming of this planet and betraying the Master when a large room faded into view. It raised its arm and its blaster emerged. “Hostile elements will be-”

It never finished as Ace ran up to it. She reared back and swung her bat right at its head, knocking the cranium clean off and sending it careening into a bulkhead. A shower of sparks shot from the neck and an electronic shriek came from the chassis before it dropped to its knees, clattering over to the deck.

Ace kicked at the twitching heap. “I think it's dead,” she said, looking around at everyone else around the room. She focused on Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, staring at the beheaded Cyberman. “You three all right?”

Scootaloo sucked in a breath. “That was... AWESOME!” She hopped into the air, her little wings buzzing like a hummingbird's. “You just knocked its block right off!” She punched the air with her foreleg. “Bang, zoom! Ace, you're almost as cool as Rainbow Dash herself!”

Ace grinned. “Well, thanks, Scootaloo!” the grin fell away. “Wait, who's Rainbow Dash?”

Applebloom walked up to the Cyberman. She flinched for a moment as it twitched, but continued. “Herd, this thing's so neat!” She kicked at it slightly. “I wonder iffn' I kin get it runnin' again?”

Danielle grabbed Applebloom, dragging her away. “Oh, NO! You are not pulling a Victor Frankenstein, young filly!”

Applebloom let out a sigh. “Aww... wait, what's Frankenstein? Is that like Frankenstallion?”

Susan jogged up to the central column. “No time for that. We've got to get to grandfather.” She turned a knob and spun a crank. “There are... three life-signs in the house, two equine and one Gallifreyan.” She looked to Dinky and Sparkler, standing near Sarah Jane. “Everyone's all right.”

Dinky let out a breath. “Mommy and Daddy are okay!” She turned and threw her forelegs around Sparkler, hugging her older sister, who returned it.

Jack cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention. “As much as I'm glad half the fight's over, there's still the Master. And he's very dangerous.”

The Brigadier suddenly turned and walked around the circumference of the room, stopping at the doors that led outside. “Well, if it's the Master, perhaps the one with the most experience should handle him,” he said while walking.

Jack stared at him as he walked. “Pardon me asking this, Brigadier, but you sure?” He held up his hands, palm out. “I mean don't get me wrong. You're tough, but this is the Master.”

“Jack, open the door,” Sarah Jane said. “The Brigadier can most certainly handle the Master. I know from personal experience.”

Susan pressed a button and the door opened. The Brigadier tilted his head to her. “Wait five minutes. Then follow me in.” And with that, he walked out.

Silence reigned for a moment before Jack raised his arm and looked at his bare wrist. “Well, it's been five minutes.” He looked around. “Anyone else coming?”

“Thought you'd never ask!”

“We need to go save Daddy and Mommy!”

“And hopefully get them to not ground us for life.”

“Professor's gonna need all the help he can get!”

“I can't wait to see Grandfather any longer.”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DOCTOR RESCUERS, YAY!”

The Doctor struggled against his bonds. He and Ditzy were sitting back to back in chairs in the kitchen, at the mercy of the Master. "You'll never get away with this!" he shouted at his and Ditzy's captor. "When Celestia hears about this-"

"Spare me your insults and petty threats, Doctor!" the Master exclaimed. he waved a hand about, gesturing to the two tied-up ponies. "With your clock shop as my base of operations, I shall expand my operations out into Equestria, conquering this land. And from THERE, I shall go BACK TO EARTH, where I shall take out UNIT and your precious companions!" His eyes glittered as a manic grin formed. "And I shall RULE THE UNIVERSE!" The Master tossed his head back and cackled, while outside, lighting flashed and thunder rumbled.

Ditzy's ears twitched. "I thought we had clear skies tonight."

The Doctor shrugged. "It happens with him a lot." He looked back at the Master. He opened his mouth, but stopped before speaking as his eyes focused on something behind the rogue Time Lord. “It can't be,” he said.

The renegade Time Lord rolled his eyes. "Oh please, Doctor. I wasn't regenerated yesterday. I know you want me to look behind while you and the Missus escape. But I'm not that foalish!”

Ditzy let out a sigh. “His puns are horrible.”

The Master smirked and stroked his mustache. “Thank you, my dear. Anyway, Doctor. Do you really-" He stopped talking as he felt a bump against his shoulder. "Cyber-Leader, please! I'm..." He trailed off. "Wait, that's too soft for a Cyberman!" he spun around, all color leaving his cheeks. "You!"

Brigadier Stewart stood there, a calm and serene look on his face. "So nice to see you again," he said. He brought his right arm back and, with a well-executed swing, punched the Master right in the jaw. The Master fell back to the floor, landing in an unconscious and undignified heap at the Brigadier's feet. He clenched his fist and grunted. "Damn, that hurt a lot more than it should've!"

The Doctor finally found his voice. "Brigadier," he said, tears forming in his eyes. "How did you get here?!"

"Oh, the TARDIS, Doctor," the Brigadier explained, motioning to the door before leaning down. He pulled out a knife and began cutting at the ropes. "I'll have you out of here in a jiffy. Now just please be still for a second."

The Doctor let out a breath before cocking his head to the side. "Wait, how'd you know it was me?"

"Who else could it be?"

The Doctor laughed as the Brigadier cut through the ropes around his forelegs, then the ones around his barrel that lashed him to the chair proper. He slowly stood back up and walked around to Ditzy, cutting through her ropes as well. “A pleasure to meet you, Missus Whooves. Although I do wish the circumstances were a bit calmer.”

Ditzy's right eye rotated to focus on the Brigadier. “Oh, you're the Brigadier! You're my husband's old friend and former boss!” The ropes gave way and she hopped up, her wings spreading. She wrapped her forelegs around his shoulders and leaned her head across his neck. “Thank you so much! And please, call me Ditzy.”

The Brigadier stood there, dumbfounded. He finally reached up and carefully patted Ditzy on the back, avoiding her wings. “Yes, you're welcome. Quite... “ He leaned his head slightly and stared at the Doctor, motioning to Ditzy with his other hand.

The Doctor smirked, standing there for a moment before finally trotting up to the two. “Now, now, Ditzy. You're embarrassing the old fellow.”

“'Old fellow'?” the Brigadier scoffed. He slowly knelt down and jabbed a finger at the Doctor's muzzle. “Now see here, Doctor. You were older than I am now when we first met. If anyone's the old fellow, it's you.”

The Doctor leaned back and placed a hoof on his chest, right below his necktie. “Me, the old fellow? Well, I've got only one thing to say to that, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart.” He suddenly reached out to his old friend. “I never thought I'd see you again,” he said, choking out the last words.

The Brigadier let out a sigh. He wiped his eyes with his gloved hands. “I had almost given up hope, myself.” He reached out and patted the Doctor's mane and withers. “It's been a year for us.” He looked to Ditzy. “How long for you?”

The Doctor let out a sigh. “Eight hundred-fifty years, for me. I really am getting old, Brigadier. And it's my last incarnation, too. My lives are all gone, save for the time left with Ditzy and the kids.”

Ditzy extended a wing and draped it over the Doctor in a hug. The two stood there for a moment before Ditzy gasped. “Dinky and Sparkler!” She flew up to the Brigadier's face. “Brigadier, did you happen to meet two unicorns on your travel here?”

The Brigadier nodded. “Dinky, Sparkler and the rest are safe and sound, Ditzy. As a matter of fact...” He stood up, leaning heavily on his cane as the back door swung open. “Ah, here they are, now.”

Jack, Sarah Jane and Ace led the group, sonic disruptor, sonic lipstick and baseball bat at the ready. Danielle, Michelle, Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle stood in the middle while Susan, Dinky and Sparkler were in the rear.

Jack spotted the Master, still on the ground but slowly stirring. He stood over him and aimed his disruptor right at the Master's skull. “I think you'll want to be staying down, if you know what's good for you.”

The Master let out a muffled groan, but his head lowered back to the floor.

Jack looked to the Doctor. “Oh, god. It's true. You're really a pony.”

The Doctor let out a sigh and waved a hoof at him. “Hi, Jack.”

Dinky and Sparkler suddenly raced forward up to their parents. “Mommy, Daddy!” Dinky cried out.

Ditzy wrapped her forelegs around the pair. “Oh, you two had us so worried!” she cried out, rocking them back and forth. She held onto them for a minute before breaking the hug and fluttering back to stare at her daughters as best she could. “Young ladies, you two are in so much trouble!”

Sparkler's head ducked down and shew swallowed. “We're sorry, Mom,” she said. “It just sort of snowballed

Dinky spoke up. “It's my fault, Mommy. I convinced everyone to get the TARDIS working again and to fly it to the other Earth and get some of Daddy's friends together to see him again. He just looked so sad there and I didn't like it.” She slowly raised her head. “But I talked everyone into doing it, so it's my fault. Sparkler even tried to stop us.”

“Dinky!” Sparkler hissed out. “It's not all your fault, here. I could've tried harder!”

The Doctor walked up to his wife's side. “Now, now, Ditzy. It was all in good fun. They meant well and are sorry. And not only did they get back safely, but they indirectly stopped the Master, too!” He sidled up to her. “Perhaps a slap on the fetlock and a stern warning not to do this again?”

Ditzy let out a sigh. She focused both eyes on Dinky and Sparkler. “You're both grounded for a week. No crusading for you, Dinky. And you'd better be right back home after work, Sparkler. I mean it, too.”

Danielle and Michelle exchanged a glance. “They got off lucky,” Danielle remarked.

“I heard that, Danielle Wind Whistler Richards!”

Michelle snorted. “Wow, I didn't know Mom told her your full name.”

“I heard that too, Michelle Benton Richards!”

Michelle's eyes widened as Danielle rocked back on her heels. “Wow.”

The Doctor's eyes shifted as Jack, Ace and Sarah Jane walked up to him. He let out a breath. “I can't believe it,” he breathed out. “I... I never thought I'd see any of you again!” He cantered back and forth. “Not just the Brigadier, but you as well? Oh, where's Pinkie Pie to throw us a grand party?”

Ace knelt down to the Doctor's height. She held her hands out to him. “Professor, you're so... you're a pony!” She dropped her hands and shook her head. “And you're... a pony!” She belted out a laugh. “Oh, you're so adorable!” She turned back to Michelle. “Can I borrow your brush, Michelle? I'd like to give the Professor a bit of a brushing. His mane's all out of whack!”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Yes, Ace. And I've told you as thousand times, it's 'Doctor'!”

Ace waved him off. “Sure thing, Professor.” She held out a hand. “I'm glad you're all right.”

The Doctor placed a hoof in her hand, letting it be squeezed. “I'm glad to see you too, Ace.” He leaned to the right. “Still making the nitro-nine?”

Ace shrugged. “Well, yeah. Oh!” She reached back and slid the bat out of her backpack. “I'm keeping this!” she said, waving it about.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, but waved her off. “Oh, all right,” he groused.

Jack bit his lips, but his cheeks puffed out. He covered his mouth with his hands, but the laughter soon erupted. Tears streamed from his eyes and his entire face soon turned red. He doubled over as his entire body shook.

The Brigadier grunted. “Jack,” half-shouted.

Ditzy looked to the Doctor. “What's so funny?” she asked, scratching her forehead with her right wing.

The Doctor shrugged. “Not sure.”

Jack waved the Doctor off. “Sorry, sorry. I guess it's just finally hitting me.” He looked the Doctor and Ditzy over. “I must say, you two make a rather cute couple.” He flashed a grin at Ditzy and bowed. “The name's Jack Harkness, Miss Whooves. A pleasure to meet you.”

Ditzy's cheeks flashed red and her wings folded over her head. “Eep!”

The Doctor nickered and reared back. “Jack, stop embarrassing my wife!”

Jack held up a hand. “Sorry, sorry. Force of habit with me.” He tugged on his coat's lapels. “Still, good to see you alive and kicking.”

“Thanks,” the Doctor replied. He suddenly looked as Sarah Jane filled his view. His eyes softened. “Hello, Sarah Jane.”

Sarah Jane let out a sigh. “Oh, it really is you!” She dropped to her knees and hugged the Doctor, who returned it. “Somehow, I just knew you were alive.”

“Yeah, I figured you would. Hello, Sarah Jane,” the Doctor choked out, eyes screwed shut. He finally slipped his forelegs back and slid out of Sarah Jane's grip. He looked to Ditzy and his cheeks suddenly turned bright red. “Ditzy, this is Sarah Jane Smith. Back when I was looking a bit more Time Lord, she was m-my best friend.”

Ditzy smiled at him. She leaned in close to his ear. “I bet she still is.” She turned to Sarah Jane and stepped up to her. “Miss Smith, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name it Ditzy,” she said, extending a hoof.

Sarah Jane grabbed the proffered hoof and pumped it twice. “Same here, Miss Ditzy.” Her eyes drifted to the Doctor. “Doctor, you all right?”

There was silence from the Time Lord. He simply nodded before speaking. “Right now, it's fantastic.” He let out a sigh. “I guess it's just a bit too overwhelming, almost.” He swallowed as Susan walked up to him. “Oh, my.”

Sarah Jane, Jack and Ace stepped back as Susan dropped to her knees. Her hands clenched as they rested on her hips. She looked just past the Doctor, not quite meeting his eyes.

Ditzy looked to her husband. “Doctor, who is that?”

The Doctor blinked. “That's Susan Foreman, my dear Ditzy. That's my granddaughter.”

Ditzy gasped. “That's Susan?” She hopped about on her hooves. “Oh, she must've regenerated!” She suddenly hopped into the air and pushed the Doctor forward. “Come on, talk to her!”

The Doctor lurched forward, stumbling up to Susan. He looked her over. “You're alive,” he breathed out. “I mean I know, I set you up with Sarah Jane and used the arch on you and oh god I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry I used that thing on you, but if I didn't the Daleks would've gotten to you but I sort of sprung it on you and dropped you off at the orphanage, then Sarah Jane and oh god it's you it's really you...” His voice trailed off and his head dropped. “I'm so, so sorry,” he repeated.

Susan reached out to him, slowly at first. A hand lit upon his shoulder, then the other, and finally she wrapped her arms around him. “You saved me,” she said, rocking him back and forth. “You came back for me, and you saved me.” She finally leaned back and wiped a tear from his cheek. “Thank you, Grandfather. Thank you.”

The Master's head tilted up. “Oh, this is most disgusting!”

Jack looked back at him. He motioned to his shoulder holster. “No interrupting the moment,” he warned.

The Brigadier stood up, leaning on his cane. He walked around the Doctor and Susan to Jack's side. “We've been looking for him for a bit.” He looked back to the Time Lord. “Doctor, if it's all right, we'll be taking the Master back with us.”

The Doctor nodded, still in Susan's embrace.

Jack leaned forward, grabbed the Master's arm and hauled him to his feet. He shoved the Master forward. “Okay, we've got a nice jail cell waiting for you back on our Earth.”

the Master grunted. “Do you think this is the last you'll see of me? I am the Master, and you WILL OBEY ME!” he shouted, as thunder cracked and lightning flashed.

Dinky's ears flattened. “I thought we had clear skies tonight!”

The Brigadier flanked the Master as he and Jack led him out. “He has that sort of effect.” He held up his free hand and clenched it. “Come along, Master. Next time I might not hold back.”

The Master clicked his jaw to the side and rubbed his goatee. “No, you might not.” He turned back to the Doctor. “But you haven't seen the last of me!” he declared, jabbing a finger at his old enemy.

The Doctor rolled his eyes as the Brigadier and Jack 'escorted' the Master out of his kitchen. “Oh, so dramatic!”

Ace looked around the kitchen, spinning about. “Wow, this is pretty cool! A bit short for us with two legs, though. I guess that makes sense, though.” She walked up to a cupboard and opened it. “Why do the cups have handles like humans do?” She looked at her hand and waggled her fingers. “What, do you slide the entire hoof right into it?”

Ditzy floated up to her. “Our hooves are a lot more elastic than meets the eye.” She reached in, slid her hoof through the handle and pulled out a tea cup. “See? We can also hold things with them, but you're right. Human fingers are a lot more dextrous than our hooves.” She flew over to the stove and turned the gas on. “I'm going to make some tea. I have a feeling we'll be needing it.”

Sarah Jane walked over to the door leading to the first floor's storefront. “Doctor, if it's all right, could we get a tour of the house?”

The Doctor trotted up to her. “Well of course, dear Sarah Jane.” He nudged her calf with a knee joint. “Bet you never thought you'd see me all domesticated like this, eh?” He led Sarah Jane, Ace and Susan through a door and into a small room lined with shelves. He reached up and slid a light switch on the wall. “This is one of the storage rooms for my place of business.” He reached up to one of the shelves and pulled off a screwdriver with his mouth. “The ponies are rather clever,” he said, gripping the screwdriver with the side of his mouth. “There's not much of anything they can't build, given the right tools and knowledge.”

Ace poked at a few tools. “They all look exactly like what we'd use. As if they had fingers!”

The Doctor held up his hoof and pressed it into a hammer. The hoof engulfed the handle and he carefully pulled it away from the shelf. “It's a bit of a long story, Ace. I'll tell you about it later.”

The young woman placed her hands on her hips. “Promise, Professor?”

The Doctor nodded. “Promise. Just like with Omega.”

The trio moved into the storefront itself, emerging right behind the counter and cash register. Susan leaned down and looked through the glass at the wares inside. “Grandfather, how do you get all this work done between your usual running about in time and space?”

The Time Lord trotted up to his granddaughter and stared down through the glass. “Well, truth be told... I don't really run about anymore. At least not in that way, Susan.” He waved a hoof in the air, motioning to pieces still needing to be repaired, items for general sale and other odds and ends littering the corners. “The TARDIS was heavily damaged when I landed here so long ago, and I never thought I'd get her working again. So I eventually settled here in Ponyville. An old friend from an alternate Earth I had visited once before helped me get the basic repairs done. But even then...” He looked over his shoulder at the door leading to the back of the store and the kitchen.

Sarah Jane knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his back. “I never thought I'd see you settled down like this, Doctor. Even when I first met you and you stayed on to help UNIT out, you were chomping at the bit to leave.” She stopped and slapped her forehead. “Oh, sorry about that.”

The Doctor chuckled. “Oh, not a problem.” He leaned in close to her. “You'd be amazed how easily horse-themed puns come up around here. It makes one doubt one's stability!”

Sarah Jane, Susan and Ace all groaned at that. “Professor!” Ace said, throwing her hands up into the air.

A sudden knocking at the front door caught everyone's attention. The Doctor trotted around the counter and up to the door, quickly spotting Applejack, Rarity, Scootaloo's father Thunderlane, a half-asleep Twilight Sparkle, and standing behind them, Megan and Mike. The Doctor opened the door and stared at the group. “Can I... help you?”

Applejack spoke up. “Beggin' yer pardon, Doc, but I was checkin' on that foals and kids at the treehouse fer their sleepover, and they're all gone!” She poked at Twilight, who was leaning on Rarity. “We had Twilight teleport Mike and Megan over tah help with tha search.”

The Doctor's eyes shifted left to right and he let out a chuckle. “Oh, well... hehehe. Fancy you're here asking about that.”

Sarah Jane speed-walked to the door. “The children are all right. Terribly sorry for the worry about it. They just went on a bit of an adventure.” She shrugged, throwing her hands up into the air. “You know how kids can get, right?”

Applejack, Rarity and Thunderlane all exchanged a knowing look. “All too well,” Rarity said.

Megan's right eyebrow quirked up at Sarah Jane. “Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but... where did you come from?”

Mike motioned to Ace and Susan, who were making their way to the front of the store. “I don't recall them going across the Rainbow Bridge this afternoon, either.”

Sarah Jane blinked. “I'm sorry? Rainbow Bridge?”

The Doctor suddenly reared up on his hind legs and threw his forelegs up. “Wait, wait! Let me explain this so there's no misunderstanding!” He dropped back to all fours and adjusted his bow tie. “Missus Richards, my dear friend Sarah Jane Smith and the others are from another Earth. Not the one you and Mike are from.” He scratched his forehead. “It's a bit hard to explain, but they're all right!”

Mike looked away for a second before snapping his fingers. “Oh, wait. That's like an old episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, where one of the characters leaped from ship to ship, crossing realities.”

The Doctor blinked. “Yes, exactly like that. Good show, Mike. Very good show.”

Megan extended a hand to Sarah Jane. “Sorry about that. There's a hole in space in our backyard that leads from our Earth right here to Equestria. My name's Megan Richards, Miss Smith.”

Sarah Jane accepted Megan's hand and shook it. “Not a problem, Megan. Never can be too careful.”

“Want me to go collect the kids?” Ace asked. “I'm guessing their sleepover's over.”

Mike shrugged. “Well, what did they do exactly?”

Susan flashed him a smile. “Oh, they managed to get Grandfather's time machine working, crossed through the veil separating realities and landed on our Earth, then we flew back here for a reunion.”

Megan blinked, then shrugged. “Well, that's a little out there for them, but I can see them doing that.” Her eyes narrowed. “Wait, who's your grandfather?”

Susan knelt down and wrapped her right arm around the Doctor's neck in a hug. “Oh, the Doctor is! It's been so long since I've seen him, too. I'm so grateful to see him again.”

The Doctor merely leaned into the hug, smiling and blushing.

Rarity's right eye twitched. “He is... your grandfather?”

Megan's eyes darted from Susan to the Doctor before nodding. “I think I see a bit of family resemblance, there,” she said, winking.

Applejack looked up at the night sky, puckering her lips in thought. “Well, iffn' that kids are all right, I reckon we can jus' leave 'em be.” She looked around at the others standing around her. “That all right?” At their nods of assent she locked eyes with the Doctor. “Just tell 'em tah git right home tomorrow mornin', yah hear?”

The Doctor nodded. “I will, Applejack.”

Ace pointed to Twilight, who was now leaning against a sweating Thunderlane and snoring lightly. “Hey, she all right?”

Rarity swallowed and scratched the back of her head. “The poor dear was fast asleep when we woke her up to teleport Mike and Megan to Ponyville.” She gently poked Twilight with a hoof. “Twilight, darling, are you awake?”

Twilight suddenly toppled over onto her back, her legs sticking into the air. Her eyes screwed shut and loud snores came from her.

Mike dropped to one knee and scooped up Twilight into his arms. He draped the sleeping unicorn over his shoulder, cradling her in his arms. “Thanks, Doctor. We'll be going now.” He looked to the still-snoring Twilight. “I hope.”

The Doctor, Susan, Ace and Sarah Jane watched as the group walked off, Applejack tipping her hat to them before leaving. The Doctor slid out of Susan's embrace and turned away from the door. “Well, I think the tea Ditzy put on should be ready.”

Sarah Jane took a sip of tea and munched on a biscuit. “I figured there was a good story going on,” she said, sitting on the floor in the Whooves' living room. While Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Applebloom, Dinky, Sparkler and Michelle were fast asleep, Sarah Jane, the Doctor, Ditzy, Ace, Susan, Jack, the Brigadier and Danielle were in the living room, drinking, eating and sharing memories.

Danielle, leaning against the back of the couch, shook her head. “You impersonated your aunt and snuck into some top-secret military installation for a news story?”

Sarah Jane looked up at the younger girl. “Well, I was young, impulsive and probably not thinking things through all the way.” She looked to the Doctor, sitting with Ditzy on a loveseat. “The Doctor picked up on it quickly, though.”

The Doctor chuckled as everyone waited on him. “Well, I had read a paper that her aunt, Lavinia Smith, had written on viruses. I realized if the young girl standing before me actually had written it, she'd have done it when she was about five.”

A chorus of groans echoed out as Sarah Jane shrank slightly. “Well, to be fair, he was the only one to question it,” she protested.

Danielle looked to Jack, standing in the doorway. “What about you, Jack? When did you first meet the Doctor”

Jack took a swig from a canteen he had pulled from one of his coat's internal pockets. “Battle of Britain.” His gaze took on a faraway look. “What a view.”

“Jack!”

Ace snorted. “Just like always.” She looked to the Doctor from the couch. “Professor, I don't mean to bring the mood down any, but I've got to ask. What next?”

The Brigadier, sitting next to her, shifted about to look at her. “Ace?”

Ace paused as everyone focused their attention on her. “Well, this is all fun and great, but we can't stay here forever. And you, well look at all this.” She pointed all about the room. “You can't leave this. You've got a family and life here.”

Susan's jaw quavered for a bit. “Grandfather, the TARDIS. It works now.” She dropped to her knees beside the loveseat. “You could visit, at least.” She reached out and gently grabbed his foreleg. “I just found you, again.”

The Doctor locked eyes with Susan before turning to Ditzy. He opened his mouth, but a mild thud shook the house, rattling the furniture and even sending a few bits of drywall falling from the ceiling.

Danielle stood up. “Okay, what the hell was that?”

Jack pulled out his disruptor and thumbed it on. “I'm guessing Ponyville doesn't do midnight blasting?”

Danielle shrugged and stepped closer to him. “Depends if Pinkie Pie's on a sugar high or not. But normally? No.”

The Doctor slid out of his wife's embrace and landed on the floor. “Jack, Brigadier, where did you stick the Master in the TARDIS?” he asked, a sonic screwdriver suddenly strapped to his foreleg.

The Brigadier stood up with assistance from Ace. “The Zero Room... I think.” He turned and looked at Jack. “Was that where we stuck him?”

The Doctor groaned before galloping through the door, squeezing past Jack. “Oh, no no no no!”

The rest followed the Doctor out through the kitchen and into the backyard, stopping at the beginning of the stone path that led to the TARDIS. The Master stood in front of the big blue box, a maniacal grin on his face and an odd object clutched in his hands. His eyes danced with an inner fire. “Stay back!” he cried out, thrusting the object forward. “I'll use it!”

Danielle's upper lip curled and her right eye widened. “Okay, I know I'm not exactly up to date on everything,” she said, thrusting her hand forward, “but isn't that an egg beater?!”

The Doctor's eyes narrowed. “Oh, it is!”

Danielle slowly nodded. “Is it some sort of super-science egg beater from Gallifrey that can, I don't know, blend time and space together?”

The Doctor slowly shook his head. “No... it's an egg beater. I got it from Julia Child. Sentimental value, but that's about it.”

Ditzy let out a small gasp. “Oh, I recognize that one!” She lightly punched him in the shoulder. “Why didn't you tell me that? I always wondered why you didn't like me using it.”

The Doctor winced slightly. “Sorry, sorry.”

Ace pulled her bat out from her backpack and swung it around. “Okay, wanna do this the hard way," she then reached back and slid a canister of nitro-9 from behind and held it up, "or the easy way?”

The Brigadier raised his arm and clenched his fist, his glove creaking. “Easy, hopefully.”

The Doctor stepped forward, turned and raised a foreleg. “Ace, Jack, everyone. Please, give me one chance to talk him down. All right? If he doesn't back down, then fine. But one chance, all right?”

Ace glanced between the Doctor and the Master. Her grip on the bat tightened until her knuckles cracked, but she lowered it. “He hurts you in any way, Professor, he's dead.”

Jack also lowered his sonic disruptor. “Same here, Doctor.”

The Doctor smiled to them. “Fair enough.” He stepped forward and gave Ditzy a quick kiss and nuzzle before spinning around and trotting up to the rogue Time Lord. “All right, Master. What is it this time? What do you want?”

The Master giggled. “What do I want? I want this farce to end, Doctor!” He brandished the egg beater. “Here, at home with a wife, two kids and this stupid, sickening simulacrum of a happy domestic life. Bah! This isn't you, Doctor. And we both know it!”

The Doctor shrugged. “Well, you don't know me as well as you used to, old boy. This is me, now. This is Thirteen, this is near the end of the line. Everything changes, Master. I've changed a lot, and here I am. I'm not even bipedal, anymore!”

The Master snorted. “But you are still the Doctor, the Lonely God, Theta Sigma, the man who runs and never stops.” His lips curled up in a sneer. “So run and run some more, Doctor. And I shall give chase!”

The pony reared back and stomped the ground. “Oh, that's it! That damned well does it!” He cantered back and forth, ears flaring. “Wanna have a go, like the old days? Too bad!” He stopped in midstride and advanced upon the Master. “I've got a PTA meeting on Tuesday with Cheerilee. Wednesday is the weekly calibration of the clock in City Hall. I've got orders to fulfill on Thursday and Friday. I am running, Master. I'm running to work, running to my house and running to my wife and kids.” He stopped in front of the Master, reared back and planted his front hooves on the Master's waist. “You see, this is it for me, old chum. I've run out of running! I'm... I'm tired.” He dropped back to all fours and hung his head. “I'm tired of running from this world to that. I think this is what happens when you hit Thirteen. I'm old, Master. And I'm through with you.” He raised his head, his mane stirring slightly. “It's over.”

Ditzy and Susan raced to the Doctor's side, wrapping a wing and arm around him respectively. “Oh, Doctor,” Ditzy said, leaning into him.

The Doctor returned Ditzy's nuzzle, then leaned into Susan's hug. “Thank you,” he whispered.

The Master poked the egg beater forward a few times before dropping it to the asphalt. “This – this isn't right!” he screamed. “You can't stop running! What a-about what about-”

“What about you?” Danielle interrupted. “It's not about the Doctor. It's about you. I don't know that much about you, but how long have you been the Doctor's adversary? How long have you defined yourself against him?”

The Master stared daggers at Danielle. “I will not be lectured to by some human child!”

Danielle crossed her arms. “You just were.”

The Doctor gently nudged Ditzy and Susan off of him. “Master... Koschei. The chase is over. The running's stopped. You don't have to do this anymore!” He tapped the side of his head. “The drums are gone, right? Rassilon wronged you. He used you, but you don't have to be like that anymore!” He extended a hoof. “I know how hard it is, but please. I stopped running. You can stop, too.”

The Master dropped to one knee. He looked at the Doctor, as if seeing him for the first time. He grabbed a fistful of hair. “The drumming's gone, but the echo's still there. I don't know if I can. I've been doing this sort of thing for so long.”

The Doctor leaned forward, hesitating for a bit before patting the Master on the shin. “You can do it. I know you can.”

The Master looked up as a trio of shadows fell on him. “Ah, Miss McShane, Mister Harkness and the Brigadier.” He slowly rose to his feet and held out his arms. “I surrender. And no tricks, either.”

Ace and Jack stood by him as he spun around. “I'm not sure what I can say about what'll happen to him,” the Brigadier said, sighing.

The Doctor nodded as Ace and Jack escorted him to the TARDIS. “I ask simply that you try to get him to Romana. Last time I was back on our Earth she was trying to get to House to get all those hypercubes left there.”

The Brigadier smiled. “Nyssa helped get them. But she hasn't been able to reconstitute anyone. At least not yet.” He held up a hand. “I'll try to get him to her, but I can't guarantee anything.”

The Doctor's ears flattened. “Oh, good girl, that Nyssa!” He extended a foreleg to the Brigadier, who took it. “Thank you, old friend. I know you'll do your best.”

The Brigadier raised his cane in a salute before walking to the TARDIS and inside it.

Sarah Jane and Danielle walked over to the Doctor. “Party over?” Danielle asked.

The Doctor let out a weary sigh. “I'm afraid so, Danielle. They've got the get the Master back to their Earth. I've got to set the Master's TARDIS to autopilot to follow us back.” He looked up at the clear night sky and the stars. “And it's getting late. Danielle, thank you.”

Danielle blinked. “For what?”

The Doctor smiled. “For helping Dinky with all of this. When we get back, could I see your phone, please?"

Danielle pulled her smartphone out. She glanced to it before looking back at the Doctor. "Sure, but why?"

”I think it could use a bit of Time Lord technology to boost the signal," he replied. "So you can keep in contact with Earth and your family all the time." He eyed her. “You know, if I was a bit younger, you'd make a pretty good companion. Flying all about, getting into scrapes and running. Oh, the running!”

Danielle beamed. “Thanks, Doc.” She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder at the house. “If it's all right, I'm gonna check on everyone else. All right?”

Ditzy flew up to her and hugged her. “Oh, thank you, Danielle!”

Danielle returned the hug. “You're welcome, Ditzy.” She waited for Ditzy to let go before turning and walking to the house. She stopped right before the door and turned back. “Hey, Susan?”

Susan looked over. “Yes?”

Danielle waved to her. “Don't be a stranger,” she said before disappearing inside.

The Doctor looked to the Master's TARDIS. “I'll be just a moment.”

Susan, Ditzy and Sarah Jane watched him walk to the 'garden shed'. Susan let out a sigh. “I just found him again, and now I'm losing him again.”

Ditzy's expression fell. She patted Susan on the shin. “If I know the Doctor, and trust me, I know him, this won’t be the last time you see each other. He's never missed any of Dinky or Sparkler's important events.”

Sarah Jane rocked back and forth on her heels. “You know, Ditzy, I don't think I've seen the Doctor happier than with you. You're his best friend.”

Ditzy shook her head, her blond mane whipping back and forth. “Oh, but you are too, Sarah Jane. You met Twilight Sparkle earlier, right? Well she's got six best friends.” She patted her chest. “I'm his best friend,” then pointed to Sarah Jane, “but so are you!”

“Quite right!” the Doctor said, startling the three. “Oh, sorry. Well, ready?”

Susan swallowed. She stepped up to the Doctor. “Grandfather, is this the last time we see each other?”

The Doctor stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. “No. I swear on my hearts, it won't be.”

Susan reached forward, hugging him once more. “Thank you,” she said between the tears.

The Doctor's body shuddered. “Thank you.”

The TARDIS' shuddering stopped. The Doctor, leaning on one of the consoles, looked up at a screen and barked a laugh. “Hah, hah! Right back in good old Sarah Jane's attic, precisely the same amount of time passing here as on Equestria!” He rubbed the console. “Oh, good girl! Good girl!”

Sarah Jane looked to Ditzy. “He still does this?”

Ditzy flapped her wings. “I've caught him a few times alone in here, rubbing the console. It's weird.”

Ace, standing across from the Doctor, nodded in agreement.

The TARDIS doors opened. Jack and the Brigadier, flanking the Master, walked around the central console, stopping at the Doctor. Jack straightened up and saluted. “Doctor, a pleasure as always. Next time, I'll bring some oats and hay.”

The Doctor groaned. “Jack!”

Jack blinked. “Good to see you again, Doctor. Until next time?”

“Until next time.”

The Master rolled his eyes. “I thought I was the purveyor of bad puns, not you.” He looked to the Doctor, wavering slightly. “I make no promises, but I will try.”

The Doctor nodded. “That's all I can really ask of you. Good luck.” He turned to the Brigadier, straightened up and brought his foreleg to heir forehead in a salute. “Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, champion of Earth.”

The Brigadier returned the salute. “Well, I do try.” He turned, but stopped. “Doctor, is this it for us?”

The Doctor waved him off. “Oh, of course not, old boy! I'll see you, Doris and Kate again. Mark my words on that!”

The Brigadier leaned down on his cane and reached out to the Doctor. “Good. It's been a bit too dull around here without you.” He looked around at everyone, bowing his head before he and Jack walked the Master out.

Ace walked over. She rolled her eyes and rocked back on her heels. “Oh, I never was good at goodbyes, Professor.” She leaned down, hands on her hips to stop from tumbling over. “So, bye?”

The Doctor nodded. “Bye, but only for now.” He jabbed a foreleg at her. “Stay out of trouble, you hear?”

Ace's brow wrinkled. “Of course, Professor. I always do what I'm told.” A wicked grin formed on her mouth as she reached out and patted him on the head, stroking his mane lightly. “See you around, Professor.”

Sarah Jane stepped over. She dropped to her knees and hugged the Doctor. “Oh, I'm so glad you're not lonely anymore. I'm so glad you're so happy!” She broke the hug and stood back up. “Just come around here again, all right?”

The Doctor nodded. “I will.”

Sarah Jane walked to the door, but stopped and looked back. “Don't you forget me,” she half-whispered.

The Doctor's eyes watered. “Don't you forget me,” he choked out.

Susan swallowed and clasped her hands together. “Grandfather?”

The Doctor closed his eyes for a second before opening them, seeing Susan standing before him. “I'm so proud of you,” he finally said.

Susan's lips wrinkled before finally forming a smile. “Thank you, Grandfather. I'm so glad you're all right. But is this it? Tell the truth.”

The Doctor smiled. “I'll come back. We'll see each other again.”

Susan wiped her eyes. She leaned over, kissed her grandfather on the forehead and then ran out. She stopped and spun around. “I love you!” she shouted.

“I love you, too,” the Doctor whispered before the doors closed. And with that, he turned to the control console and flipped a switch. The central column began moving up and down. He stared at the column for a minute or two. “Ditzy, I think I really am getting old.”

Ditzy walked to the Doctor, simply standing beside him. “Doctor, will you be able to come back?”

The Doctor opened his mouth, but paused. He tilted his head to the side and his right ear twitched. “The ride's a bit smooth,” he muttered before dashing off to the opposite side of the central console.

Ditzy's eyes spun about as the Doctor galloped about, pressing buttons and sliding levers about. “Doctor, what is it?”

The Doctor looked at a screen. “It's a tunnel,” he said. His mouth stretched into a wide grin. “Following the same flight path, it's like treading over a carpet. As long as just the space engines are engaged –“ He suddenly ran around back to Ditzy, scooping her up with his forelegs and spinning her about. “Ditzy, my dear Ditzy Doo!” he said, between kissing her.

Ditzy laughed as she returned the kisses. “Yes, my dear Doctor?”

The Doctor set her down, grinning maniacally. “We're taking two weeks off this Hearth's Warming, right?”

“Right!”

He looked up at a screen showing a small image of the TARDIS and a long tunnel of energy connecting two planets. “How would you like for the family to spend a week at 13 Bannerman Road, in London, England? To see some of my friends and family?”

Ditzy focused both of her amber eyes on the Doctor. She stepped forward and leaned over to his left ear. “I'd say there's only one word for that.”

The Doctor grunted and blushed. “And that would be?”

Ditzy leaned back once more to look him in the eyes. “Fantastic!”

And the story goes on... forever.

Author's Note

A huge thank you to everyone at the Spacebattles thread for their help with this. This would not be half as good as it is without their help.
For the record, I have not really delved into the non-television product of Doctor Who. So for me, Romana was in E-space during the Last Great Time War and not President of Gallifrey, Susan's fate was unknown, so on and so forth.
This is dedicated to William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, Matt Smith, John Hurt, Peter Capaldi, Carole Ann Ford, Jacqueline Hill, William Russell, Elisabeth Sladen, Nicholas Courtney.. oh, buck it. Go here. Almost everyone!
With one exception. Michael grade. And trust me. He more than deserves it.
As of 10/8/2013, I've added a bit about the Doc fixing Danielle's phone like he did for Rose Tyler.

Shape Up or Slaughter Out!

Captain Shining Armor paused right outside General Spanish Steel's office, readying himself for a moment. Easy, Shiny, this is nothing. It's a simple meeting going over the Royal Guard's performance these past few weeks. He looked to one of the guards standing by the door, a unicorn mare wearing the bronze-colored duty armor of the regular infantry. “Captain Shining Armor reporting as ordered,” he stated to her.

The unicorn nodded. Her horn glowed and the door opened. She turned and stepped inside the room. “General, Captain Shining Armor is here to see you,” she said.

Shining Armor followed her inside, his eyes looking around Spanish Steel's office. The Chairpony of the Joint Chiefs of Staff sat behind a large, oak desk that was rather well-organized, with two stacks of papers in trays, a cup of quills, an inkwell and a desktop telephone. He wore his duty uniform, the four stylized suns denoting his rank standing out on his shoulders. Two chairs were in front of the desk for visitors. The entire back wall was glass, offering a magnificent view of Canterlot below. A balcony could be seen right outside, perfect for a pegasus like Spanish Steel to land on or take off from. One wall had a series of shelves with various mementos from the past, while the other was covered with various maps of Equestria and surrounding nations. Shining Armor winced as he observed troop movements outlined along the northern border with the Griffin Empire, but he pushed it to the back of his head as he snapped to attention. “Captain Armor reporting as ordered.”

Spanish Steel glanced up at him. “Thank you. Have a seat, Captain.” He looked to the guard. “You're dismissed, Sergeant. Please see to it we're not disturbed unless it's an emergency.”

Shining Armor sat down as Spanish Steel reached out with his right wing and slid a clipboard across the desk towards him. “I must say, Captain. I didn't think you'd be able to get the Royal Guard back into shape, let alone so quickly. They really proved their mettle during that little 'unpleasantness' around Ponyville and the Everfree Forest.”

Shining Armor smiled “Thank you, General.” He paused for a moment, waiting for Spanish Steel to say something. When nothing came, his ears tilted forward. “But?”

Spanish Steel snorted. “Good catch, Captain.” He jabbed at the clipboard with a primary covert. “There's still a number of Royal Guard who are still not performing up to spec. It's a fairly small fraction, but after what happened we need everyone in the Equestrian Armed Forces performing at their best, Royal Guard included.”

Shining Armor nodded. “Understood, General.” He leaned over as Spanish Steel slid the clipboard over to him. His horn glowed and it floated up to him. His eyes moved back and forth. “Ah, yes,” he finally said. The clipboard floated back to the desk and Shining Armor met Spanish Steel's eyes. “What's to become of them?”

“There are two options,” Spanish Steel replied. “Either they're dismissed with general or dishonorable discharges, or there's the possibility of one last chance for each of them.”

Shining Armor's eyes scanned the names written. “General, most of them have tried their best. I've personally observed them during Project Philomena. I know if they have one more chance, they can make it up to spec.”

Spanish Steel's wings flapped slightly against his barrel. He nodded to Shining Armor and a tight smile formed on his muzzle. “With that attitude, you just might be the first Colonel of the Royal guard in Equestrian history.” His right wing unfurled, opened a drawer on the desk and gingerly pulled out a manila folder. “I think there's a solution to this problem. Or at least, if this doesn't work, nothing will.” He continued to speak as Shining Armor's telekinesis 'grabbed' the folder and floated it over. “President Abernathy of the United States of America spoke highly of this man back when he was the leader of Delta-Six.” He stared across the desk. “I feel this might be their last, greatest chance, Captain.”

The folder slid down after a few minutes, allowing Shining Armor to lock eyes with Spanish Steel. “If this doesn't work, I don't think anything will, General.”

One Week Later
Activity at the Equestrian side of the Rainbow Bridge had picked up since the initial 'incident' connecting Earth and Equestria. A survey team was off to the side. Humans, ponies and Zecora all were gathered around measuring devices, tables laden with computers and other odds and ends. Temporary barracks for the Equestrian Armed Forces, the United States Army and the Earth Defense Command had been set up. A large communications tower festooned with antennae, bullhorns and with wires trailing down from it loomed over everything, close to the Rainbow Bridge itself.

A bullhorn on the tower suddenly came to life. “Attention, all personnel! Incoming teleportation in five minutes! Please clear the landing area. I say again; incoming teleportation in five minutes. Please clear the landing area!”

Six ponies and one baby dragon stood in front of the 'landing area', which was little more than a bare patch of dirt marked off by rope. All seven were clad in military clothes of some sort.

Twilight Sparkle swallowed, sweat covering her brow. “I'm not so sure this was a good idea,” she said. She wore the dress uniform of the Equestrian Armed Forces, the Royal Guard version. She wore a red jacket with a plain gold collar, gold trim on the sleeves and the symbol of the Royal Guard on a badge right on her chest. Her hooves had been polished and were gleaming. Even her mane had been trimmed down to regulation-length for new recruits, barely more than bristles on her poll.

Rarity chuckled. “It will be fine, Twilight,” she said, reaching over and patting her friend on the shoulder. “I'm sure he'll see the effort we put into greeting him and appreciate it.” She too was clad in a dress uniform, this one of the regular Equestrian Armed Forces. It was structurally identical to Twilight's uniform, save for a blue jacket instead of red and the symbol on front that of the Equestrian Armed Forces as a whole. Her mane still flowed down her neck and crest, coiffed and teased to perfection.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged glances. “I just did it to look awesome,” Dash said, spreading her wings out. She was covered from muzzle to dock in the basic flight armor of the Royal Air Corps, minus the loin-mounted rifle and other combat gear. She looked herself over, pausing at the gauntlets covering her knees and fetlocks. “This is maybe... fifty percent as cool as the Wonderbolts uniform!”

Rarity let out a snort. “Oh, please! Your armor, shiny as it is, pales in comparison to how I look!” She stepped forward, swinging her head back and forth and letting tossing her mane about.

Spike, standing on the far end, clasped his claws together and let his tongue snake out. “So divine,” he muttered, seeming to float after her. He wore a simple white undershirt, an unbuttoned olive-green shirt, a matching pair of pants and what greatly resembled an M1941 knit cap.

Applejack held out a foreleg, holding him back. “Easy there, Spike,” she said, winking at him. She wore a simple olive-green jumpsuit of a maintenance mare of the Royal Tank Corps. Her gaze slid to Fluttershy standing next to her. “You okay, sugarcube?”

Fluttershy's entire body vibrated. Her teeth clacked together and her eyes were locked onto the landing pad. She wore armor much like Dash's, save it was bronze-colored instead of silver. “He-he s-sounds so-s-so scary!” she finally stuttered out. Her wings folded over her head as she crouched onto the grass.

Pinkie Pie patted her on her dorsal armor plates. “Oh, don't worry, Flutters! I'm sure he'll be nice as a bunny rabbit to you when he gets here.”

The other five mares stared at her. “Pinkie Pie... what are you wearing that for, again?” Twilight asked, cocking her head to the side.

Pinkie Pie looked herself and the wedding dress she wore over. “Oh, this? I got the idea to wear this from that really super-cool television show Danny showed us over the weekend. You know, the one about the potatoes?” She moved her bouquet from one hoof to the other, moved aside her veil and scratched her forehead. “Although I don't remember seeing any actual potatoes in the show. Weird.”

Dash's head slowly turned to her. “You mean... MASH? Pinkie Pie, you're dressed as that Klinger guy!” She suddenly looked to the sky. “Actually, that makes sense.” The pegasus looked to Spike, standing next to her. “So that means you're Radar?”

Spike nodded, grinning. “We're both the same guy!” he exclaimed, spreading his stubby arms wide. “We're both great at our jobs-”

“The shortest of the group,” Dash interjected, smirking.

“And oftentimes we're the only ones keeping our respective friends out of trouble,” Spike finished, smirking.

Any retort was interrupted by a bright flash of light and loud pop on the landing pad. It faded as quickly as it appeared, leaving behind two unicorns and a human male kneeling between them. He wore a pair of black boots, pants with a camouflage pattern on them and a green shirt. Thick spectacles covered his eyes, and he wore a wide-brimmed brown hat. He stood up, quickly towering over the two unicorns. Time had begun to wear on him, as evidenced by the gray creeping at the edge of his crew-cut hair, but he was still muscular and carried himself with confidence. “Thank you, gentlemen!” Sergeant Slaughter barked out, saluting the two before grabbing a suitcase next to him and quickly marching up to Twilight and her friends.

The two unicorns stared after him. “Those recruits are dead meat,” one observed.

Twilight's jaw dropped as he stood in front of her, over twice her height and staring down at her. “H-hello, S-Sergeant. I-I amam-”

Slaughter slowly dropped down to one knee. “Miss Sparkle,” he began, voice dropping to a 'mere' thunderous growl, “It's an honor to meet you and your friends. My name is Sergeant Slaughter, formerly of the United States Marine Corps and Delta-Six. I'm here as requested by Captain Armor of the Royal Guard,” he said, pulling out a folded sheet of paper from his pants back pocket and holding it out to Twilight.

Twilight's horn glowed and she floated the paper over. Her eyes scanned the information on it. “Everything seems to be in order, Sergeant,” she said, returning the paper. “Thank you very much.”

Slaughter nodded. He slowly looked to his right, down the line at them. “Let me guess, wanting to make me feel welcome?” He barked a laugh, sending the remnants of Twilight's mane standing on end.

He stood up, pacing back and forth along the line. Each pony and dragon straightened up as he passed. “Class A's of the Royal Guard and Officer Corps, maintenance crew, Royal Air Corps and...” Slaughter paused at Pinkie Pie and Spike. He adjusted his glasses. “What the heck?” He leaned over, looking from one to the other. “A wedding dress and those clothes... Max Klinger and Radar O'Reilly?!”

Pinkie's head bobbed up and down. She reared back on her hind legs and threw her forelegs up, but suddenly paused and looked at Slaughter, her expression switching from joy to seriousness. “Sergeant, just to warn you, I'm about to produce a stream of confetti and ribbons seemingly out of thin air.” She leaned back. “On your signal?”

Slaughter nodded. “Proceed, Corporal Pie!”

Pinkie snorted. “He was a sergeant before the end of the show's run, but alright!” Streamers and confetti exploded from somewhere behind Pinkie Pie while trumpets sounded from somewhere. She tossed her head back, the wedding veil flopping back. “Yay, you guessed it!” she cried out.

Slaughter's free hand came up on instinct, but slowly lowered. “Interesting. I'd like to find out how you did that, but later.” He straightened up and adjusted his glasses. “I've got a lot to do to prepare for meeting up with these near-washouts.”

Dash suddenly flew up and around the drill instructor, finally stopping a half-foot in front of his face. “Hey, you don't really seem all that tough to me,” she said, jabbing her hoof at Slaughter's face. “I mean sure, you're big and you've got a chin that could break stone, but you seem awfully nice for a drill instructor!”

Applejack rolled her eyes to the sky. “Dash, I don't think that's too smart of yah.”

Slaughter stood there, unmoving. Dash's head bobbed from side to side. She looked to Applejack. “Ah, he's not even any bark, Apple-”

“You will address me as 'Drill Instructor'!” Sergeant Slaughter suddenly barked out, leaning forward and jabbing a finger at Dash.

Dash twisted back to face Slaughter. Her mouth curled up in a snarl, but it quickly faded as she locked her eyes with Slaughter's glasses. “I... I...” She swallowed, slowly floating back to the ground. Her wings folded back against her body as she stared up at Slaughter staring down at her.

The drill instructor stood over Dash for a few moments, staring down at her. “Now, give me fifty wing-ups,” he half-whispered.

There was a mild thud as Fluttershy tipped over and fainted, legs sticking straight into the air. Rarity trotted over to her, but the others stood still. Dash swallowed before dropping to her belly. Her wings extended until the primary coverts touched the ground. With a grunt, the pegasus pushed herself up, using only her wings.

Slaughter performed a flawless left-face and stepped over to Twilight. “Miss Sparkle, could you please escort me to Ponyville and the train station? I have a train to catch to Canterlot in two hours.”

Twilight's spine locked into place. “Of course, Sergeant!” she barked out, spinning about. She walked off, Slaughter following her.

Pinkie's head twisted around as she watched the pair leave. “Ooh, he's good!” she said, her head corkscrewing back. She looked to Dash. “Ah, Dashie? I think you can stop, now. Sergeant Slaughter's gone.”

Dash shook her head. “No, way! If I do, he'll know. And then...” She sucked in air as her tempo increased.

Spike shook his head. “He is good.”

Fluttershy merely kicked the air, squeaking.

One Week Later
It was a cloudy day in more ways than one for Private Square Peg. The unicorn mare stood at attention with the other seven members of her squad – the unofficially named 'Last Chances'. She stared straight ahead while others chatted or glanced around at the training field they had assembled at.

Motion at the corner of her eye almost caused her to glance, but she kept stock-still at attention. Please, I pray to the Mag'ne I can get through this. I pray to the Herd. One more chance. If I blow this, then alright. But let me try my best here.

Captain Shining Armor and a rather tall and well-muscled human walked into view. “Attention!” he barked, stopping and executing a perfect left-face. The rest of the squad straightened up, or at least tried to. Square Peg, already at attention, locked her legs and spine as hard as she could.

Shining Armor turned his head, looking at each one standing there. “You are here for one reason. This is it. This is your last chance to pass muster and join the Royal Guard proper. Most have been able to improve and reclaim the honor the Royal Guard lost. The worst of the worst have been weeded out and sent packing. You eight, though, are not quite bad enough to be discharged, but not quite good enough to be moved up.” He motioned to the human standing next to him. “This is Sergeant Slaughter, a former member of the Marine Corps and of a very elite anti-terrorist unit of the United States Military known as GI Joe. He was that unit's drill instructor.” He began pacing back and forth. “Tell me, does anyone know how the Royal Guard was founded? More specifically, what was it originally based on?”

A hoof shot up in the front row. Shining Armor acknowledged it. “Sir, the Royal Guard was based on tales of the Bloody Jaws from the Holy Land of Key'Tuck. They were the warlords and protectors of the Herd. The Dannile told the ponies of Dream Valley about them.”

Shining Armor nodded to the stallion. “Very good. Their name changed to the Bloody Jaws, but before they were the Ig Jaws. IG is also an acronym for immunoglobulin, the cells that are part of your immune system. Someone noticed them being the same, hence it eventually changing to 'Bloody'.” He leaned forward, stretching his neck out. “Now, think on this for a moment. What do you think the Ig Jaws really were?”

Gears in Square Peg's mind whirred and spun. Her nostrils flared and her jaw locked together. Ig Jaws... GI Joe! She focused on Slaughter standing there, eyes hidden by his glasses' reflection. That makes him the –

Her train of thought was halted by Shining Armor speaking once more. “And of course there was the Slaughterer, he who trained the Ig Jaws and molded them into the warriors they were. He was their drill instructor.” A nasty smirk formed on Shining Armor's mouth. “He is now your drill instructor. And you will either pass this course, or be discharged from the Royal Guard and be ineligible to enlist with any other unit of the Equestrian Armed Forces.” He turned to Slaughter. “I leave them in your hands,” he said, saluting.

Slaughter returned the salute. “Thank you, Captain.” He placed his hands on his hips. “Well, well, well. It looks like the 'good captain' left me with the sorriest sacks of horse apples I have ever had the bucking displeasure to try and mold into something resembling real soldiers!”

Slaughter's voice rose with each word, sending ears folding down against the pony's heads and three of them wincing. The drill instructor focused on one stallion in front. “You! You have not been given permission to break from attention! Your ears are to be straight up, you sad sack of smooze! Your shoulders are to be straight, your withers, back, loin, hip and croup forming a straight line back to your tail! Now snap to attention before I snap YOU!”

The stallion sucked in air and trembled before straightening up to attention. Slaughter jabbed a finger at him. “Better, but not good enough!” He focused on a unicorn mare and jabbed a finger at her. “You! Those legs look like you've been stuffing your face with sweets! Drop and give me a hundred push-ups, maggot!”

The red-coated mare dropped down, pushing herself up with her forelegs. Slaughter growled. “Faster, maggot!” He crossed his arms and planted a boot on her back. “We've got a lot of work to do.” He suddenly focused on Square Peg. “You, what are you staring at!”

Square Peg's eyes crossed for a moment, but she managed to keep staring ahead, not looking at Slaughter. “Sir, nothing, sir!”

Slaughter growled. He stepped off the unicorn and stepped in front of Square Peg, hands on hips and looming over her. “Don't call me 'sir', you poor excuse for a soldier! I work for a living! You will address me as 'Drill Instructor'! Do you understand me? I can't hear you!”

Square Peg's head and neck shook, rattling her helmet around. “Yes, Drill Instructor!” she barked out.

Slaughter bared his teeth. “Good, but you didn't answer my question, Square Peg! What in the name of motherbucking Tartarus are you staring at?”

“Infinity, Drill Instructor!”

Slaughter leaned back slightly. He rubbed his chin. “Well, there might be something here. I detect the slightest, smallest amount of something that I might be able to mold into a being resembling a real soldier.” He dropped to one knee, his face suddenly mere inches from Square Peg's muzzle. “I'm going to be your worst nightmare, Square Peg. And maybe, just maybe, your greatest hope, too. Either you'll walk out of this regimen on four hooves, or you'll be leaving in a ditty bag.” He held up his hand, thumb and index finger close together. “An itty-bitty ditty bag.” He shot back to both feet and jabbed a finger behind him. “Now, two hundred laps in full armor! On the quadruple!”

Square Peg launched herself forward, quickly reaching a full gallop. She blocked out anyone else around her, concentrating on what lay ahead. I can do this. I WILL do this!

On the outskirts of Ponyville sat the Punch Bowl, Berry Punch's bar, restaurant and full-service inn. It sat on the main road to Canterlot and was a few minute's walk from the edge of the Everfree Forest, ensuring a constant flow of guests and bits. Within a week of the Rainbow Bridge's opening, Berry Punch had half the rooms outfitted with human-sized furniture. Food and drink for humans had also been stocked.

Berry Punch was tending bar as the front door opened. She glanced up and up as Sergeant Slaughter approached the bar, sitting on the largest human-sized stool. “What can I get for you?” She asked, sliding a menu towards him.

Slaughter picked it up. “Just a hard cider, please.”

A voice from his side drew his attention to a large earth pony stallion sitting a few stools down. “Put it on mah tab, Punch.”

Slaughter nodded. “Thank you...”

“Macintosh Apple,” he replied. “But yah can call me Big Mac.” He slid off the stool and trotted over, mug now balanced on top of his head. He tipped his head forward, letting the mug slid onto the bar top without spilling a drink, then hopped onto a stool next to Slaughter.

Berry Punch placed a tall mug of frothing hard apple cider in front of Slaughter, who picked it up. “Thanks,” he said, taking a long gulp. “Ah, that hits the spot!”

Big Mac slowly nodded. “Thanks.” He leaned in close. “Truth be told, it's from mah family's farm,” he said, winking.

Slaughter chuckled. “Well, it's pretty good, Big Mac.” He looked the stallion over. “Former military?”

Big Mac's brow furrowed. “Eyup. Now how'd yah guess that?”

“I can tell,” Slaughter said, bringing his mug close to Big Mac. “To those we left behind.”

The stallion brought his mug over and gently tapped it against Slaughter's mug. “To those we left behind.” He took a sip, then set the mug down. “So, what brings you out here to Equestria?”

“Trying to whip some last chances of the Royal Guard into shape. Either they shape up or ship out.” He looked over his glass of cider. “They're not... terrible. There's one mare I think has the makings of a fine soldier. But it's gonna take a lot of work to get them into shape.”

Big Mac chuckled. “Yah think they're bad now? Should've seen 'em before Shining Armor got a hold o' them.”

Slaughter looked the stallion over. “What branch of the service were you in?”

“I was Sergeant Macintosh Apple of the First Tank Regiment of tha Royal Tank Corps,” Big Mac replied, eyes gleaming with an inner fire. “Tha Steel Hooves, Sergeant. Best of tha best.” He snorted, nostrils flaring. “What about you, Slaughter?”

“Former member of Delta-Six, codename GI Joe. We were an anti-terrorist unit during the 1980's and early 1990's. Before that I was in my country's Marine Corps. I was the drill instructor for the team. And after keeping tabs on them, whipping some ponies into shape should be fairly easy.”

Big Mac drank some more of his cider. “Famous last words,” he finally muttered. At Slaughter's glare, he shrugged. “Well, it's true. Thar was this griffin named George.” he held his forelegs up and waved them about. “'Ooh, look at me! I got opposable claws! I can drive this here tank through anything!'” He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Danged fool sent the tank right into an anti-tank ditch first time!”

Slaughter snorted. “It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything,” he said. “So why aren't you still with the Tank Corps?”

Big Mac fell silent, staring at his half-finished mug of cider. “Parents were killed in a flood. Hardship discharge.” A shadow seemed to fall over his face for a moment as his mouth turned down in a scowl. “Sisters were too young, grandmother was too old. So I had tah go back and help out. They were rough times for a bit.” The ghost of a smile returned. “But we made it through.”

There was comfortable silence between the two former soldiers for a few minutes, the only real sounds being the sipping of their ciders or the gentle thunk of their glasses hitting the bar. “'The farmers have won, not us.'” At Big Mac's questioning look he shrugged. “It's from a film called The Seven Samurai. Akira Kurosawa.” He tilted his head back, his chin jutting out. “Hmm, interested in seeing it after I'm done with the Royal Guard?”

The stallion pursed his lips for a moment before slowly nodding. “Eyup. That'd be might nice ah yah, Sergeant.”

Square Peg wobbled on her hind legs, hopping from tire to tire. She cradled a long stick of wood in her forelegs. Normally she would be using telekinesis for such a burden, or saddlebags... but the drill instructor from the tenth level of Tartarus had forbidden either option for carrying the stick, leaving with little choice but to use her forelegs.

Slaughter stood off to the side, waving about a baton. “Faster, Square Peg!” he barked out. “Griffins are attacking! The Shadowbolts have returned! You're the only thing standing between Equestria and annihilation!”

Square Peg reached the end of the tires. She swung the stick around, grabbing it with her mouth before dropping to her barrel and crawling along the ground towards a fence of barbed wire. Her armor, even as well-ventilated and magically enchanted for lightness as it was, clung to her coat and weighed her down.

She kept her head as low as possible while sliding underneath the spike-studded and razor-sharp wire. Her horn glowed slightly, pushing the lowest strands up as far away as possible.

Slaughter's voice sounded out, much louder than before. “You're using your magic, Square Peg!”

Square Peg swallowed as she continued crawling. “Yes, Drill Instructor!”

“I told you not to use your magic!”

The row of barbed wire ended and Square Peg rose to her hooves. A series of logs were planted in the dirt, forming the next part of the obstacle course. “Yes, Drill Instructor!” she barked out, her mind racing. “But you only said I couldn't use it for carrying the stick!”

There was a pause before an odd barking could be heard. Square Peg chanced a glance over, scarcely believing what she saw; Slaughter was laughing, a smile on his face. “Very good, Square Peg! Nice to see you using your brains!” The smile fell away. “Now quit gawking at me and get back to the obstacle course, maggot!”

Square Peg dug her armored hooves into the ground, kicking up clods of dirt as she galloped at the logs, weaving through them with an increased gait. “I AM going to do this!

Slaughter tracked the unicorn as she made her way through the last half of the obstacle course. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He snapped to attention as Shining Armor trotted up. “Captain!” he barked out.

Shining Armor stopped by Slaughter's side. “Sergeant.” He looked to Square Peg as she weaved around the logs. “I read your last report. Darned impressive.” A light nicker escaped him. “Almost embarrassing how well you've done with these eight,” he admitted.

Slaughter's eyes swiveled behind his glasses as he kept track of Square Peg's progress. He raised his right arm and checked his wristwatch. “They just needed the right sort of kick to their flanks, Captain. You did one heck of a job with the rest of the Royal Guard.” He stopped as Square Peg trotted up to the pair and snapped to attention. “Well, well, well.” He half-smiled. “Your time is acceptable, Square Peg. You made it.” He jabbed a finger off in the general direction of the barracks. “Now hit the sack. You and the rest still have a long week ahead of you.”

Square Peg saluted before turning and trotting off. Slaughter let out a sigh as he watched her go. “I think I'm finally getting soft in my old age, Shining. I barely chewed them out today.”

One Week Later
Square Peg stood at attention, her dress uniform immaculate. She and the rest of the squadron were on the main parade grounds in front of a stage. Shining Armor stood in front of a podium, Sergeant Slaughter to his right and Spanish Steel to his left. There were a few other officials there, but barring the Diarchs she paid them little attention. His words barely registered in her mind, but she was focused enough to pick up the end of his little speech.

“... “And so with this, the honor of the Royal Guard has been reclaimed. With this, we may march with our heads held high.” He stepped over to a small table with badges stacked neatly on them. “As I call your name, please come forth so I may officially place you on active duty. Private Big Bucks!”

One by one, the former last chances walked to the side of the stage and up the stairs to stand at attention as Shining Armor floated a rank badge up to their uniform and pinning it on. All too soon, Square Peg heard her name called out. She stepped forward and executed a left-face before walking over. Her heart pounded in her chest as she quickly mounted the stage and stood in front of Shining Armor. His horn glowed, the badge floated up and was quickly pinned onto her uniform. They exchanged salutes before she about-faced and trotted back down. I did it. I really did it. She looked to the others standing there. We all did it.

Author's Note

Thanks to dangado_esu for the idea and Madfish for the name.
For the record, Slaughter did appear in the Marvel comics. But... the Hasbroverse lives on 'broad strokes'. ;)

NEW ONE: 3. Neither the Mane Six, nor Spike, are in the Equestrian military. They were just acting the part to make Sergeant Slaughter feel a bit more welcome and impress him a bit.

How Christmas was Saved... Sort of

Wind whipped through the sky, tossing about not only the snow, but a sleigh as it was pulled through the air by nine tiny reindeer. Santa Claus held onto the reins, bracing himself against the storm. “Oh, my! This is the worst I've seen it in a long time!” He glanced to his side at lights to his right. “I don't suppose anyone knows if this is going to let up?”

Any expected answer was cut off by the faint sound of tinkling bells. Santa cupped a gloved hand to his left ear and leaned a bit out of the sleigh, eyes narrowing. “Wait, what's that?” He gasped as another sleigh slowly came into view, this one pulled by a large moose. “Why, it's Jolly Tidings!”

Jolly Tidings threw out his hooves, skidding to a halt in midair. “Well, it's my old friend Santa!” he said, smiling.

Santa laughed, his body shaking. “Well, it's been quite a long time since you've been to Earth, Jolly. What brings you here?”

“There's a new Rainbow Bridge, so I thought I'd pop by and see an old friend,” Jolly responded. He looked at the reindeer, focusing on the lead and his shiny nose. “Hmm, new member of the team?”

Santa nodded. “His name is Rudolph, Jolly. He's been a great help... but this storm's too bad even for his nose!” He dropped back into his seat. “I don't know how we can get through this storm, even with him and our escorts.”

Jolly's head canted to the side. “Escorts?”

Five jets suddenly surrounded the two sleighs, spotlights shining on them and temporarily blinding Santa, Jolly and the reindeer. “Santa, is there a problem?” a voice boomed out from a Concorde SST, hovering right behind Jolly's sleigh.

Santa waved him off. “It's alright, Silverbolt!” he shouted. “He's an old friend from Ponyland. But thank you for your concern!” He focused once more on Jolly. “They mean well.”

Jolly nodded. “Of course. And I think I can help you with the storm.” He shook his head, his antlers glowing brightly. The wind suddenly died down and a corridor in the air formed, the snow falling around it. “It should last long enough for you to get through,” he said, trotting forward enough for Santa and his crew to get through.

Santa laughed once more, the sound filling the air. “Oh, ho ho! Thank you, Jolly!” He reached down and pulled out a thermos, tossing it to Jolly who caught it in a telekinetic grip. “Missus Claus made me two bottles of hot chocolate, so here's one for you for your trouble.”

Jolly unscrewed the cap and poured himself some of the steaming-hot beverage. He floated it up in a salute to Santa before downing it in one gulp. “Oh, that's good!” he exclaimed. “Merry Christmas, Santa!” he said before galloping off into the night.

Santa waved as he flew off. “Happy Hearth's Warming to you, Jolly Tidings!” He grabbed the reins and cracked them. “On Dasher, on Dancer! On Comet and Blitzen!”

Megan raised a glass, her hand bobbing slightly. “And that's how Christmas was saved!” she said before downing the entire contents.

Twilight Sparkle glanced at her own eggnog before floating it over to a nearby table and setting it down. "And you're cut off before you tell us how the Dinobots saved Easter!"

Author's Note

I... got nothing. :D

Jolly Tidings, for the record, is a name I saw a few times as a Santa equivalent for Equestria.

Dare to Be Stupid!

Twilight, Danielle and Spike stood close to the Equestrian side of the Rainbow Bridge. Twilight's ears rotated back and forth and she hopped up and down. “Oh, this is so exciting! I can't believe we'll be having Autobots here in Ponyville today! This is going to be wonderful!” She reared up and clapped her front hooves together. “I can't wait!”

Spike looked up at Twilight. “So... any clue who it's gonna be? Optimus Prime again? Oh, oh! Maybe those Dinobots are gonna show up!” He balled his fists up and shook them in the air. “Please let it be them!”

Danielle snorted. “Spike, there is no way you'd want them here in Ponyville. Think an Ursa Minor is bad? We wouldn't have a town before the day is out. Or before we got back into town itself.”

Spike opened his mouth for a moment, then closed it and shuddered.

Twilight's right eyebrow arched. “So who do you think it is, Danielle? A member of the Autobot Council? One of the gestalt leaders? A member of the Ark crew?” She stomped her hooves on the ground, sending up a small cloud of dust. “Ooh, I can't wait!”

Danielle scratched her head. “I just wish I knew who it was they were sending. It doesn't make any real sense they wouldn't let us know ahead of time.”

A loud horn suddenly blew, followed by a voice over loudspeakers. “Attention, incoming teleportation! I say again, incoming teleportation! Step away from the landing area!”

There was a sudden flash of light right below the hole. It faded, leaving six unicorns clad in blue uniforms. They stood in a circle around a large dump truck that was flanked by two almost comically-oversized motorcycles. All three vehicles had an air of being just shy of falling apart, with dents, oil stains, visible screws and patches of dirt all around. While medical crews attended to the unicorns, the vehicles turned and rolled up to the three awaiting them.

Twilight gasped. Her horn glowed and an iPad floated out of her saddlebags. She turned it on and began scrolling through pages. “W-wait, who are these?”

The two motorcycles straightened up, the front forks extending and hands emerging from the ends. The front fairing slid down, revealing a face, while the main body turned into an abdomen and upper body. The back end unfurled into legs and feet. One spiked wheel ended up on their left knee, while the other one was mounted on their left arm like a shield.

The first one was rather blocky, with a mishmash of tan, orange and gray. He sported a long beard and mustache. The second one was a bit thinner, with pink colors instead of orange. Her head swept back, evoking hair instead of the first one's helmet-like head.

Danielle's expression fell. She slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand and slowly dragged it down across her face. “Oh, god.” She reached over and gently pushed the iPad away from Twilight's face. “Twilight, I'd like to introduce you to Wreck-Gar, leader of the Junkions, and his conjunx endura Nancy.” She eyed the dump truck, still there.” The dump truck, I have no idea.”

Spike's jaw worked for a bit. “Con... con... conjugate endurance?”

Danielle waved him off. “Closest translation we have is 'spouse'. Think Optimus Prime and Elita One, or my own Mom and Dad.”

Twilight nodded. “Thanks, Danielle.” She walked up to Wreck-Gar and Nancy, placed a hoof on her chest and cleared her throat. “Greetings from Equestria, Wreck-Gar and Nancy! I am Twilight Sparkle, representative of Princess Celestia. I welcome you to our fair land!”

Wreck-Gar stroked his beard, then held up a finger and pointed to the sky. “Hi-ho, silver!” he shouted.

Twilight blinked. “What?”

Nancy bent over the dump truck. “Wally, something's wrong with the Beaver!”

Part of Twilight's mane sprung up. “What?”

Wreck-Gar stroked his beard. “I told him to eat his wheaties this morning.”

Danielle snorted. She covered her mouth with her hand, but laughter still escaped. She knelt down besides Twilight and smoothed her mane down. “Okay, lemme explain. The Junkions are Autobot refugees from the early stages of the Great War. They crashed into some interstellar junkyard and had most of their memories wiped. Somehow they started receiving TV transmissions from Earth and built their entire culture around it.” She suddenly placed a hand over Twilight's muzzle. “Get it?”

Twilight nodded. She waited for Danielle to remove her hand before looking back to Spike. “Okay, I think we'd better go get Pinkie Pie for translation, then.”

Spike shook his head. “Ah, Twilight, you remember she took her coltfriend to the family farm to meet her parents? They'll be gone all week!”

“So I said to him, if that's a fish, then I'm eely happy to see you!”

Clyde Pie stared across the dinner table at Cheese Sandwich, his daughter's would-be suitor. He slowly chewed his oats, swallowing. “Quite amusing,” he drawled out, dabbing his lips with a napkin.

Pinkie grinned and wrapped her forelegs around Cheese's body. “He likes you! He really, really likes you!”

Maud Pie looked up from her plate. “That was a good joke,” she said, her voice devoid of inflection or tone.

Pinkie gasped once more. “And Maud really likes you! Oh, this is so great!”

Cheese's body suddenly shuddered. His head darted up and he looked to the general direction of Ponyville. “My Cheesy Sense! Someone needs us.” He paused for a moment, then shrugged and went back to his plate. “Nah, it's fine.” He bit into his barley sandwich. “Crunchy!”

Twilight groaned. “Trixie?”

Danielle shrugged. “She's in Flutter Valley performing for Queen Rosedust. But don't worry. I know the Universal greeting.” She straightened up and waved at the Junkions. “Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah weep ni ni bong!”

Twilight and Spike slowly turned their heads and stared up at Danielle, eyes wide. Nancy and Wreck-Gar suddenly waved their hands back at Danielle. “Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah weep ni ni bong!” they chorused back.

Wreck-Gar looked to Nancy. “Ratings are going up and it appears we'll have a renewal of our contracts!”

Danielle glanced down at Twilight. “That's a good thing.” She clapped her hands together. “So... would you like a tour of Ponyville?” her eyes drifted to the dump truck. “Can we... okay, what is with the dump truck?”

Nancy suddenly kicked the side of the dump truck. The vehicle split apart, legs unfolding from the bottom and ending up under the cab. The garbage container ended up on the back, arms extending out of it. An orange, square head with an antenna sprouting from the left side of the head emerged. He sported wide optics and a much shorter beard and mustache than Wreck-Gar, but his face seemed to have elements of both Wreck-Gar and Nancy. “I am Wreck-Gar!” he proclaimed, waving his arms in the air.

Spike pointed to him, then pointed to the other Wreck-Gar. “Wait, you're Wreck-Gar, too? But he's Wreck-Gar. You can't be Wreck-Gar, too!” He tugged on Danielle's pant leg. “What gives?”

Danielle looked down to him. “It's rare, but Transformers do have the same names. Kind of like with ponies,” she said, winking.

Wreck-Gar patted the second one on the shoulder. “He's a chip off the old laser core!”

Nancy patted him on the arm. “Here's looking at you, kid!”

Twilight's eyes narrowed. “Wait an apple-bucking minute, here. Is he their son? How does that happen?” Her iPad floated up and she started tapping furiously at the screen. “I know about the Matrix and Vector Sigma, but this?”

Danielle rubbed her chin. “I read something a while ago about something with laser cores.” She growled. “And I'll be darned if I can remember.”

Wreck-Gar knelt down and spread his arms out. “When a man loves a woman!” he warbled, turning and looking back at Nancy.

Danielle suddenly spun around on her heel. “Okay, to Ponyville!” she shouted, marching off. “Off to Ponyville, and to my room in Golden Oaks for that brain bleach I keep under the bed,” she muttered.

The group stopped in front of Town Hall. Residents all stopped and stared up at the Junkions. Some of them waved at the giant robots, but most stayed back and away from them.

Twilight smiled and waved her hoof at the front steps of the building. “Our first stop is City Hall, the center of the government for Ponyville and the vital heart and brains of our fair town. The current administrator is Mayor Mare, who hopefully will be able to meet with you.”

Danielle knelt down and leaned in close to Twilight. “Actually, last I heard she was busy campaigning for reelection over in the residential district.”

Twilight's smile froze, and the unmistakable sound of teeth grinding together could be heard. “Of course she is! Why would we ever think she'd be in there doing her actual job? That's just silly of us!”

Wreck-Gar Junior suddenly spoke up. “I am Wreck-Gar! I am silly! And I shall campaign for mayor!” He suddenly stopped. “Wait, what's a mayor?”

Danielle chuckled and shook her head. “He's got my vote.”

Nancy walked up to the building and peered through the windows. “This is the city – Los Angeles California. We were working the day watch out of robbery and homicide. My partner's name is Wreck-Gar. My name is Nancy. I carry a laser cannon.”

Spike held up a claw. “Wait, this isn't Los Angeles. This is Ponyville!”

Danielle waved him off. “Spike, please just... it's all right. Just let it slide.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Well, unfortunately due to... size problems, I don't think we can have a full tour of City Hall. Could I interest you in a walk through the town square? There's usually a bustling market going on about this time.”

Nancy stepped away from City Hall and spun about, digging up a trench in the dirt and flinging dirt about. “Moving on up, to the east side! We'll finally get a piece of the pie!” She walked off, continuing to sing and step to the beat of the song. Wreck-Gar and Wreck-Gar Junior followed, singing along.

Spike's stomach rumbled and he patted his belly. “Hey, it is lunchtime!” He rubbed his claws together and licked his lips. “And there's a sale on emeralds today!” He ran off, following the Junkions.

Danielle looked to Twilight. “Should I go back to the library and get you some aspirin?”

Twilight slowly smiled. “Thanks, but I think I can manage.” There was a sudden crash from ahead. Twilight's right eye twitched. Her horn glowed and a large brown bottle suddenly flashed into existence in front of her. She looked up at Danielle and kicked at the ground. “Like I said, I can manage.”

The town square and Mane Street in Ponyville were usually hives of activity around this time of day. Carts were set up, shops open to the public and everyone going everywhere. The citizenry moved from cart to cart, buying things they needed, and things they wanted if they had the money. They drifted in and out of buildings, their saddlebags lighter of bits but heavier with things. Food was sold and eaten. Foals dashed about, some playing, some helping their older relatives with their businesses.

Today, the activity was muted as Wreck-Gar, Nancy and Wreck-Gar Junior moved through the area. They stuck to the open path, waving at everyone there. This time, most Ponyvillians waved back at them. The pony artist Ponet trotted up to them, easel balanced on his back. He set it down and held up his brush. “Excuse me, may I do a drawing of you, please? Inspiration has struck!”

Wreck-Gar Junior gave him a thumbs-up. “I am Wreck-Gar! I'll strike back against that inspiration and save you!” He reached back into his trash bin and pulled out a rather large laser pistol. “Stand back, everyone! I'll stop this nasty inspiration!” And with that, he started firing into the air.

Almost everyone in the immediate vicinity turned and ran off, shouting. Big Mac, who was tending to the Apple Family apple cart, ducked down. He threaded his way through the panicking ponies and over to Twilight. “Miss Twilight, these aren't Decepticons, are they? They got those red faces I've been told 'bout, but this one's got a bit o' a screw loose. Should I be callin' in tha Tank Corps? I still got some old friends in it who owe me.”

Twilight gasped. Her horn flared to life and she grabbed Wreck-Gar Junior's arm with her magic, wrenching it straight up into the sky and barely managing to avoid shooting down the weather team. Danielle dropped down and covered Spike with her arms. “It's all right, Big Mac!” she shouted over the high-pitched whine of the laser shots. “I think it's all right. Twilight, is it all right?”

Nancy and Wreck-Gar stomped over to their son's side. Wreck-Gar grabbed his arm while Nancy removed the laser pistol from his grip. “Partly cloudy with a chance of laser fire, film at eleven!”

Wreck-Gar Junior looked from side to side. “I am Wreck-Gar! I am... in trouble now?” His shoulders slumped and he sighed. “I am Wreck-Gar, and I'm sorry.”

Twilight released her grip on Wreck-Gar Junior's arm. She dropped back to her haunches and stared up at the sky.

Wreck-Gar waggled a finger at Wreck-Gar Junior. “Lucy, you got some splainin' to do!”

Danielle suddenly shot to her feet and jabbed a finger at him. “Hey, Ricky never said that line! It was a parody!” She rolled her eyes, but stopped as she felt four pairs of eyes on her. “What? It's true!”

“And here we have Sugarcube Corner, home of the Cake family.”

“It's also home of Pinkie Pie, who I wish was here.”

“Home is where the fuel pump is!”

“I am Wreck-Gar, and I have a fuel pump right here. No, sorry. That's a fusion grenade.”

Several hours later

Twilight, Spike and Danielle slowly walked back to the Rainbow Bridge, heads hung low. Danielle's clothes had several burn marks on them. Spike's tail had small embers shooting off of them. And Twilight's coat had a few patches missing.

Wreck-Gar and Nancy walked side-by-side, arms intertwined. Wreck-Gar Junior trailed behind slightly, swinging his arms back and forth. Within minutes they reached the landing field. Unicorns from the Teleportation Corps already stood in a loose circle, waiting their passengers.

Wreck-Gar and Nancy separated and turned to face their hosts. Wreck-Gar knelt down and extended a hand. “Twilight, Danielle, Spike, thank you very much for your patience with us. I know we were a bit of a handful there. Or maybe a hoofful?” His right optic blinked off, then back on.

Danielle's mouth dropped open in shock. “Wait, that's not talking TV! Why aren't you talking TV?”

Wreck-Gar shrugged. “We don't talk TV all the time! Only about ninety percent, maybe. Closer to eighty-five percent.” He shrugged. “It's our culture, but it's not all we are. We forget that sometimes.”

Nancy dropped to one knee. “We took it a bit too far here, and for that we're sorry. I guess we got a little carried away and forgot our manners. We'll make restitution for the damage caused.”

Twilight's expression brightened. “Well, thank you, Nancy! That's very kind of you.”

Danielle raised her hand. “Excuse me, Wreck-Gar, Nancy?” She waited for them to look to her before speaking. “If I may ask, what is Wreck-Gar Junior’s... relation to you?”

Wreck-Gar grinned. He straightened up and stood by Wreck-Gar Junior. “Like twilight said earlier, he's our son.” He grabbed his arm. “Wheeljack and Perceptor have developed a method of combining the energy of two laser cores to ignite a third laser core inside a newly-built body. A new 'spark' of life in the laser core, as some of us are starting to call it.”

Nancy nodded to Danielle. “The bottleneck of the Matrix and Vector Sigma being our only means of creating a new Transformer has finally been broken. With this new method we won’t be so dependent on Cybertron for new life.”

Danielle gasped. “That's incredible! And now I remember reading about that before.” She tapped the side of her head with her knuckles, then looked to Twilight and Spike. “Okay, lemme try and explain. Vector Sigma’s a supercomputer deep inside Cybertron and the Matrix is an object carried by the current Prime. They weren’t easily accessible even during peace, and when the Great War started, the Matrix got lost for a long time and the path to Vector Sigma got really dangerous and inaccessible. Their population crashed. Imagine if ponies or humans couldn’t breed and could only make new life with something that’s hard to get to even there’s not some huge war on. It was like that with the Transformers.”

Twilight nodded. “I see!” She tilted her head to the side. “Well, I sorta see.” Her iPad floated up to her face. “I will see!”

Danielle looked up at Wreck-Gar Junior. “So how old is he?”

Nancy held up a hand and waggled it in the air. “He'll be three in a deca-cycle. We want to throw a big party for him.”

Spike spoke up. “I think we know a pair of ponies who can organize the perfect party for him.”

Wreck-Gar gently patted his son on the head. “We're not downloading mass amounts of datatrax into his memory circuits. Instead we're letting him learn a bit, downloading only when necessary.” He looked down at the ground. “He and others of this new generation are the first Transformers in nearly eleven million years who don't have to go to war immediately after coming online. We're trying something a little different this time.”

Nancy stood up and stepped back to the pair. “And speaking of time, time for us to head back to Junk. Thank you for a wonderful tour of Ponyville. We'll come back, this time talking a little less TV.”

Danielle waved at them as the unicorns surrounded the three. “Just make sure Junior there is unarmed, okay?”

Wreck-Gar opened his mouth, but shrugged even as the unicorns surrounding him lit their horns up and readied to teleport them back to Earth. “Truth be told, I thought we did.” He shook his head. “Kinda stupid to miss that fusion grenade.”

Wreck-Gar Junior raised his right arm and, mere seconds before disappearing, pumped a fist into the sky. “I am Wreck-Gar, and I dare to be stupid!”

Author's Note

1.Nancy is canon.
2. Yes, Wreck-Gar Junior is basically Transformers: Animated Wreck-Gar.
3. The idea that the Junkions don't talk TV all the time is from an old, old fanfic that's probably lost now. It was a good one, too.
4. This method of reproduction is not related to budding.
5. Not entirely sure how 'sexual' you could call it, either. :p
6. Added a bit about the energy inside laser cores being containers for sparks.
7. Obligatory:

Peace and Quiet

I look up at the clouds and stretch out. It's a nice day, in a nice field large enough to accommodate my size. Okay, I'm no Metroplex or even a combiner, but for Autobots, we've got to be mindful of our large size.

My peripheral sensors indicate approaching life signs. Instincts and programs honed by millennia of warfare kick in and I summon my weapons from internal subspace. Then I remember all I've got on me is a sonic stun cannon. Well, that and strength great enough to probably kill an Ursa Minor with my bare manipulators. My optics zoom in on an approaching pony and a small group of animals clustered around her. I summon datatrax as she comes fully into view...

Pink mane.
Yellow coat.
Female.
Pegasus subspecies
Cutie mark: three pink butterflies.

Ah, thank Primus. She skitters to a halt as she sees me. A large bear --well, large by their standards--injects itself between her and I. Okay, so I'm pretty intimidating even wielding a relatively nonlethal weapon. I hold a hand up, palm out. "Whoa easy there! Sorry for startling you. You're Fluttershy, right?"

She blinks and seems to shrink into herself. Heh, thought only we could do that. "Y-yes. h-h-how do you know me?"

I smile, thankful I've got a mouth instead of a mouthplate or grill. "I got briefed on the way over concerning local residents." I tap the side of my head. "Got everything about everyone right up here. Kinda like your friend Pinkie Pie. Well, except I don't plan parties." The tension remains in the air, and I figure it's time for me to go. I start sitting up. "If you'd like I can--"

She swallows and flies over right in front of my face. "N-no, M-mister." She lets out a cute sigh. "I'm sorry for being startled. You're an Autobot, right?" At my nod she shakes her head. "Megan told us about you. About how you saved Earth and all the humans and the entire galaxy!" She slowly smiles. "Please stay. My friends and I are having a picnic. Would you like to join us?" She stops and her brow furrows. Again, cutely. "Do Autobots have picnics?"

"This Autobot can." I sit up as she lays out a nice spread of Equestrian and animal-based foodstuffs. My olfactory sensors indicate it's well-made, and if I could process organic food, I'm sure it'd be delicious. She pours a cup of tea and timidly offers it to me. Ah, well. I've got a small reservoir I can store it in. She gasps as I extend a fine manipulator arm from my pinkie finger, take the teacup and sip from it before placing it back on the blanket.

I suppose an hour or so passes-except for an alarm to let me know when it's time to go back to the Rainbow Bridge, my internal chronometer's disabled-and the picnic winds down. We do small talk mostly, nothing too important. Fluttershy finally looks back up at me. "If you don't mind me asking, what brings you here?"

I shrug. "Peace and quiet. Compared to Cybertron or even Earth, this is quite peaceful. A lot of us old-timers have had our fill of war. The millions of years kinda blend together for us." My gaze drifts to the sky. "Old friends and family, permanently offline. Our home, nearly destroyed. Our species, nearly extinct.

Fluttershy suddenly flies up and tries her Primus-blessed best to hug my arm, and my fuel pump nearly melts. "I'm so sorry!" she cries out. I even feel tears from her. Tears!

My fine-manipulator arm extends once more and I gently pat her. "It's okay. We're a lot better. Hot Rod and Optimus Prime are leading us into a golden age, a true golden age! Humanity helped us win the Great War. We're doing so much better."

My internal alarm chimes, and my regret subroutines kick into high-gear. "Sorry, gotta go, Fluttershy." I slowly stand, careful not to disturb anything or anyone there. "I've got an appointment back at the Rainbow Bridge to teleport back to Earth. Duty calls."

She floats back, wipes her eyes with one foreleg and waves with the other. Her animal friends, a lot more sapient than I would've thought, wave their goodbyes as I wave back. Even the bear, Harry, pats me on my shin plating and growls good-naturedly at me.

As I turn and walk off down the path to Ponyville, I hear her call out once more. "Don't forget to come back! My cottage is always open for my friends!"

I turn and nod to her. For the first time in Primus-knows-how-long, my laser core feels at peace.

Author's Note

First time I've ever done first-person singular. It's a bit of an experiment.

EDIT:

The identity of the Autobot will not be revealed by me.

A Very GI Joe Christmas

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The Founding of the Dragon Clans

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Reflections

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Looking up at the Stars and thinking of You

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Picnic by the Lake

Over a hundred ponies stood near the edge of the Everfree Forest, standing around a large field bordering the wilderness. Ponies in plate armor and military uniforms milled about the crowds, keeping them away from the center of the field. One of the ponies, a unicorn in a blue overcoat, looked up to the sky. Major Foresight of the Teleportation Corps squinted. His vision focused on a hole hanging in space. He reached up and touched a hoof to a headset clipped to his ears. “Area is secure. I say again: area is secure. Send the cargo. Over.”

There was a short burst of static, causing Foresight to wince slightly. “Roger, Foresight. Sending Big Buddha through. Over.”

Foresight looked to the center of the field. An amorphous blob of light formed there, wavering slightly. It quickly faded with an audible pop, leaving six unicorns surrounding a vehicle not quite like any seen in Equestria, a Freightliner FL86 Cab-over-Engine triple-axle semi trailer truck with a red cab and silver trailer. The unicorns stumbled back, not quite losing their balance, but each one more than a little out of it.

Medics rushed to the unicorns, checking on their status and health. The crowd gasped and talked amongst themselves, but stayed where they were. Foresight slowly walked up to the vehicle, circling around it and doing a visual inspection. The Teleportation Corps had done longer jumps, with bigger loads, but across an inter-dimensional gateway? Foresight shook his head, his brown mane swishing about. He touched a hoof to his headset once more. “Cargo is safe. I say again: cargo is safe. Over and out.” He approached the red cab, looking up at the empty driver's seat. “Your majesty, are you all right?”

A deep voice emanated from somewhere inside the cab. “Thank you, Major, but please, there is no need for titles.” Smoke billowed from the smokestacks and the engine revved. The cab turned, angling to a road that led off to Canterlot. “Please give my thanks to the unicorns that brought me over. I am in debt to them for my help, and to you, Major, for coordinating the operation. I shall mention your help personally to the Princesses.”

Foresight's entire face turned a deep red. “I-I thank you, sir.” He pointed to the road. “The way should be clear, but please keep your radio tuned to our frequency, in case of emergencies.” He cantered back, away from the cab. “Good luck, sir!” he shouted over the engine's noise.

The tractor trailer suddenly lurched forward, a loud air horn honking and causing the crowd to move even farther back. Within seconds it had disappeared down the road, the surrounding forest swallowing it whole.

Princess Celestia glanced up at the sun. Her horn glowed as she corrected its course. She looked to her younger sister Luna and floated a tea cup to her lips. “Come on, try it!” she cajoled. “Chamomile is my favorite.”

Luna rolled her eyes. The tea cup moved back slightly under her own magic. “Please, Sister. I much prefer coffee.” A cup of her own floated to her muzzle and she downed almost all of it in one gulp. She shivered and her wings unfurled slightly. “That hits the spot!”

The third pony there looked up to Celestia. “Princess, are you sure I should be here?” Twilight Sparkle asked. She looked to a road leading off to Ponyville. “I mean, this is really important, right?

Celestia leaned down and lightly brushed against Twilight's cheek. “I'm quite sure, Twilight. You're the wielder of the Element of Magic and my personal protege. I think it's very appropriate you're here for this.” A faint rumbling caught her attention. “And I think our guest is arriving soon.”

Celestia, Luna and Twilight Sparkle were sitting right outside of Canterlot's walls, on a blanket with a basket of food right beside them. A stack of violet-colored cubes were set neatly to their right, glowing with an inner fire and otherworldly energy. The three looked more like a pair of oversized ponies and a unicorn on a picnic, rather than the diarchs of Equestria and the Element of Magic waiting on someone else.

The rumbling grew in intensity, sending small tremors through the ground. Twilight gasped and hopped to her feet as the tractor trailer appeared, quickly growing in size. It barreled down the road, driving right up to the picnic before air brakes squealed, bringing it to a halt just a few meters shy of the blanket itself. Her eyes grew to the approximate size of shields as she beheld it. “Oh, by the Herd...”

Celestia and Luna both stood as the cab disengaged from the trailer. Yellow bars of energy suddenly surrounded it, brightening before fading, taking the trailer with it. The cab shuddered before seams appeared along the sides, front and roof. The sides folded out, the headlights retracting and hands extending. The aft separated and the cab ratcheted up, the sides folding down into arms and the back turning into legs. A head emerged from the top, resembling a blue helmet with antennae on the sides, blue optic sensors and a mask where the mouth would be. Throughout the entire transformation, a five-toned sound could be heard, almost unexplainable as to its purpose.

When it finished, a forty-five foot tall robot stood, the windshield for a chest, the engine grille for an abdomen, the doors and side for arms and the tailgate for legs. It-he stood there, towering over Celestia, Luna and Twilight. He suddenly dropped to one knee and reached out with an open hand. “Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? Twilight Sparkle?”

Celestia nodded, raised a foreleg and placed it inside the open palm. “Correct. We bid you welcome to Equestria, Optimus Prime, and are honored to have you here.”

Luna spread her wings out. “Indeed, Optimus Prime! All of Canterlot welcomes you to Equestria!”

Optimus gently closed his hand. Hydraulics and servomotors capable of ripping apart steel plate like tissue paper barely mussed the coat on Celestia's foreleg. “The honor is mine, Princesses. I thank you for the invitation.” He opened his palm once more, let go of Celestia's leg and shifted around, sitting down on the grass itself in a cross-legged position. He looked down at Twilight, still standing there and staring at him. “Are... you all right?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

Twilight suddenly rushed forward, wrapping her forelegs around Optimus' foot. “Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed. “You're huge, and you transform in ways that violate all known laws of physics! And you're huge, and warm!” She let go and galloped around his body, coming to a stop right in front of where his trailer was. “And your trailer! Where did it go?! Was it teleportation? Some sort of subspace fourth-dimensional pocket? Did it collapse into a singularity?” She whirled around, parts of her mane sticking straight up. “Please, tell me!”

Luna slapped a hoof against her forehead, sending forth a small tremor, while Celestia's horn glowed, catching Twilight with her telekinesis. She floated Twilight around, back to the blanket and set her down. “Now, Twilight,” she admonished, “it's impolite to ask so many questions of our guest when he's just arrived.”

Twilight's head dropped down and she covered it with her forelegs. “I am... so sorry,” she said, cheeks burning a brilliant scarlet. She peeked her head up at Optimus. “Please forgive me, sir. My curiosity got the better of me. I was overwhelmed, but that's still no excuse.”

Optimus merely shook his head. “There is no fault with your actions, young Twilight. Your actions are rather similar to those performed by many of my human friends when we first met.” A mild chuckle came from the eons-old being. “They were so full of awe and wonder, and always asking questions.” He looked to Celestia, then Luna. “There is no offense taken, Princesses.”

Luna bowed her head. “We thank you, Optimus Prime.” She waved a foreleg at the cubes. “We have acquired energon for you, though sadly none produced from our own abundant resources.” She looked back to him. “Perhaps that is one thing we might discuss here?”

Celestia glanced to her sister. “I think any discussions of trade or technology exchanges should wait until after we get to know each other a little better.”

Luna glanced down at the grass and rubbed her chin. “Hmm, perhaps it is a bit too early for such discussions.” She looked up to Optimus. “Your thoughts?”

Optimus rubbed the plate over his mouth, about where a chin would be. “Yes. A firm foundation must be built.” He looked to Twilight and chuckled. “You'd better stand back, I think. Twilight might explode in a few seconds.” His right optic blinked off, then on, almost in a wink.

Twilight stood up straight and craned her neck up. “Optimus... who built you?”

Prime looked up, gazing past Canterlot and into the distance. “My laser core, or the spark of life that makes me more than a machine with advanced AI, was ignited a little over nine million years ago by the super-”

“Nine million years ago?!” Luna exclaimed, eyes widening. Her jaw went a bit slack and her eyes bugged out. “You are older than the hills!” She glanced to Celestia and Twilight as both stared at her. “My apologies,” she muttered. A slice of cake floated up to her and she took a large bite from it, sinking down onto her haunches.

Celestia merely place a foreleg on her younger sister's back, patting it. “It's all right, Luna.” She looked up at Prime. “Truth be told, I'm a bit shocked myself. Nine million years?”

Optimus waved her off. “Not a problem, Celestia.” He leaned down. “The candles on my birthday cake are enough to constitute a fire hazard on most planets.”

Luna and Celestia both exchanged a look before they both burst into laughter, slapping the blanket with just enough force to 'merely' bounce Twilight and the basket around. Celestia wiped a foreleg across her eyes as she teared up a bit. “Okay...” she gasped out, “that was good.” She looked up at the Autobot leader. “I'm glad you have a sense of humor, at least.” She cleared her throat. “Please, continue.”

“Thank you. As I said, my laser core was ignited a little over nine million years ago by the supercomputer Vector Sigma, giving me a spark of life. I was born Orion Pax, and was a simple dock worker in my home city of Iacon.” His right hand clenched into a fist. “Then Megatron came, and the War.” He looked down, his shoulders heaving. “I admired him at first, seeing only his power and might. It took a harsh lesson to see he misused his power for his own gains.” He clenched his right fist even tighter, sparks of sapphire-colored electricity skirting around the armor plates. “He killed my friend Dion and grievously wounded my spark-mate Ariel and myself, all for the energy in the warehouse I worked.”

Twilight reached out, placing a hoof on Optimus' shin. “I'm... sorry,” she said, looking away. “That was a dumb question.”

There was a pause before Optimus uncurled his hand, reached out and gently patted Twilight on the head. “No, Twilight. It was not. The memories are painful, but for my old friend Dion and countless others, they are all that remain of him. Remembering might be hard, but it is necessary, for all those who cannot.”

Celestia and Luna bowed their heads. “Wise words,” Celestia said. She looked up, unfurled a wing and waved it at Luna. “We're not as ancient as you are, but we've also lost friends along the slow march of time. Wind Whistler, Heart Throb, Mimic...”

“Lickety-Split, Surprise, Applejack...” Luna continued. She blinked as her eyes grew moist. “They were all such good friends.”

Optimus reached over and grabbed a cube from the stack. He raised it high in the air. “To old friends,” he said, before bringing the cube up to his mouth plate. It slid aside, allowing him to tilt the cube back and drink the liquid inside.

Three tea cups floated over, stopping in front of Celestia, Luna and Twilight. “To old friends,” they each said, raising their cups in salute before drinking.

Optimus placed the now-empty energon cube on the grass. “Over the years I've been a warrior, a leader, a diplomat, but there are times I'd give anything to be a simple dock worker again.”

Celestia's shoulders heaved. “I know what you mean. Sometimes the crown is so unbearably heavy I want to dash it against a wall. They all look up to me, all the little ponies. So how can I let them down?” She shook her head. “I can't, so I go on and do my best.” She shrugged. “It's how Megan raised us to be.”

Luna stepped around and leaned in close to Celestia. “But you bear it well,” she said, nuzzling Celestia.

Celestia smiled and nuzzled back. “As do you, sister.” She looked up to Optimus. “Luna and I were created fifteen-hundred years ago by the Princess Ponies, guardians of the Heart of Ponyland. They poured their love for the land into the wands they guarded and we were born, but Megan and her siblings raised us. We are tied into the land itself.” She spread her wings and her horn lit up. “The magic that flows through every rock, the air itself flows through us!”

Luna's eyes rolled. “And they call me over-dramatic...”

Celestia's wings folded back. “It seemed appropriate.” She stuck her tongue out at Luna, giggling slightly.

Twilight spoke up. “Is there anything you do to take your mind off things? Princess Celestia likes tea parties, and Princess Luna likes metalworking, but what about you?”

Optimus glanced up, staring at Canterlot for a moment. “There's a human sport I've grown fond of... it's called basketball.”

Twilight cocked her head to the side. “Basketball?” She rubbed her chin. “I don't believe I know that one.”

Luna leaned back. “Megan brought a basketball over a few times for us to play with, but it was somewhat difficult.” She held up a hoof and waved it about. “No hands, you see. And magic felt like cheating.”

Optimus nodded. “I learned about it in 1985. My human friend Spike taught me it.” He rose to his feet and held his hands at the height of his waist. “You dribble an orange ball-”

“Dribble?”

Optimus paused. “Oh.” He stood up straight and scratched his head, producing an ear-splitting screech. “You push the ball down and it rebounds against the floor. You do that while moving to a hoop hanging from a post.” He raised his arms in the air and jumped, landing and sending Celestia, Luna and Twilight hopping nearly a foot into the air. “You score two points if you get the ball through the hoop.” He sat back down. “Next time I'll bring a basketball to show you how it's done.” He looked to Twilight. “And you? You can't be Princess Celestia's student all the time, can you?

Twilight swallowed and her cheeks colored slightly. “Well, for the longest time I was just that. Beyond my brother Shining Armor, my assistant Spike and foalsitter Cadance, I didn't have any friends.” She sighed. “Even now I can lose myself too much in books and study, ignoring my friends.”

Celestia leaned down to Twilight's level. “You've made remarkable progress in your studies of friendship, Twilight. Never forget that.”

Luna leaned down as well. “And never forget it was you who saved me from myself, Twilight.” She looked up to Optimus. “Long story.”

Optimus nodded. “I have some of the details about the Nightmare War, Princess Luna. But I shall respect your privacy on that matter.” He looked to Celestia, head tilting. “Tea parties?”

Celestia shrugged. “It keeps me young.”

The day wound down, Celestia making adjustments to the sun as it traveled across the sky. Finally, Optimus spoke. “I thank you three for the meeting.” He motioned to the stack of now-empty energon cubes. “And for the lunch, as well.” He extended a hand. “May we see each other again, under similar circumstances.”

Celestia and Luna both placed a foreleg inside the palm of Optimus' hand. “I'd like that very much,” Celestia said, smiling. She looked to Twilight. “Wouldn't you agree?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, Princess, that'd be great!”

Luna held a foreleg up, pointing at the road. “May your travels be smooth, Optimus Prime, and may the journey be swift.”

Optimus stood and turned. He stepped forward, but paused and looked over his shoulder. “Twilight?”

Twilight's ears perked up. “Yes?”

“Subspace pocket, but I'm not sure of all the details.” And with that, he leaned forward, his body compacting once more into a cab. The trailer sprang into existence behind him and he drove off, leaving behind a wide-eyed Twilight and two snickering alicorns.