The Great and Powerful Princess
"Good morning Equestria, Trixie has awok-AAH!"
Trixie immediately knew something was wrong, her bed was far too comfy, her room was enormous, and she had wings. "Strange... where is Trixie?" she asked as she sat up, "No matter, Trixie will not complain about such wonderful living conditions!" and she fell backwards onto her big, fluffy pillow.
She tossed and turned, enjoying every moment she spent on this unbelievably cosy mattress and under this silky smooth bedsheet, though the wings made it difficult. Eventually, she found a position more comfortable than anything she'd ever experienced in her life, she prepared for a long lie in but then noticed something horrible ahead of her.
"Is that- a mirror?" she gasped, sitting up out of the bed again, "And am I- Twilight Sparkle?"
Leaping out of the bed and sprinting to the mirror, she looked at her reflection with horror. "I'm Twilight Sparkle!" but soon, that horror changed to intrigue, "I'm... Twilight Sparkle?" before finally settling on mischief, "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle... "
Trixie (Or would that be Twilight? Great, this is already getting confusing... ) wandered across the room, admiring the wonderful aesthetic of Twilight's bedroom as well as scavenging through the many bookcases and drawers for anything interesting. Forbidden spellbooks, a cuddly foal's toy stashed under her pillow, embarrassing clothing and some things that I'm not allowed to mention if I want to keep this story rated for everyone.
"Ooohoohoo!" she giggled, "I could completely destroy that dumb Sparkle's reputation with this!... No! The Great, and Considerate Trixie would never do such a thing to her friend's friend!"
Twili- erm, Trixie continued to search the room, wondering what other embarrassing secrets she could find, after some more snooping she found a notebook labelled 'Important Reminders' on Twilight's desk, "Ooh, what's this, Trixie wonders?" Opening up the notebook to a bookmarked page she finds a note in bold black ink with today's date.
INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT
Train to Canterlot leaves at 11:45
Lunch with Celestia & Foreign Delegates at 12:30 at Canterlot Castle
DO NOT FORGET!!!
"Twilight's having lunch with Princess Celestia today?" Trixie closed the notebook, "Trixie must ensure that all goes smoothly!... Trixie should also stop referring to herself as Trixie while she is in Twilight's body."
Trixie believed that she should look her absolute best if she was to have lunch with Celestia, she searched the room some more for anything that would make her look any better. Soon she found the entrance to Twilight's bathroom which contained another mirror as well as plenty of makeup and a little tiara in a glass cabinet. "Just what Tri- um, Twilight is looking for!"
She applied some makeup, did up her mane and placed the tiara on her noggin, she turned towards the bathroom mirror, "Heheh, looks like Tr- I am so great and powerful that I can make that dumb Sparkle look pleasant!... Might need to practice talking about myself in the first person..."
Trixie levitated a small glass towards the bathroom sink and made herself a cup of water, she took a swig and cleared her throat, "Ahem... Twilight Sparkle. I am Twilight Sparkle. I am Twilight Sparkle... "
That went on for around ten minutes until she was sure she'd got the hang of speaking in the first person and using the name Twilight, and she still had around twenty-seven minutes before she needed to catch her train, time for friendship!
Gleefully leaping out of Twilight's bedroom, Trixie called for her best friend whom she knew lived in this castle, "Starliiiiight!"
"Yeah, Twilight?" Starlight galloped into the hallway that her friend was standing in. "What's going o- oooh, Twilight, you look... uh, regal?"
"Most appreciated, Starlight!" Trixie replied, stroking her mane, "I, the glamorous Princess Twilight Sparkle, am having lunch with Celestia today, and as you can clearly see I've made myself look fabulous for the occasion!"
Starlight burst into laughter, "This is a joke, right?" she chuckled, "Heh, you kinda sound like Trixie."
"Ahh! She's onto me!" Trixie thought as she started to sweat a little and her eyes started shifting around the room, there was no way in Equestria she was gonna keep this act up, "I should probably spill the beans... No! You need to pull this off!"
"Yes, Trixie!" Trixie shouted, "Trixie might want to do something fun with you this morning!"
"OH NO OH NO OH NO I JUST REFEREED TO MYSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON IT'S ALL OVER."
...
"...Yeah, she might!" Starlight replied, breaking a long, awkward silence, "Good idea, Twilight!"
With that, Starlight bolted in the other direction towards the castle's main exit. Trixie breathed a sigh of relief, that was way too close. "Ugh, Tr- oh for crying out loud, I need some breakfast!"
After navigating through the seemingly identical halls of the castle for at least twenty minutes, coming across rooms full of books, full of cleaning supplies, full of weapons, full of things that again, I'm not allowed to mention if I want this story rated E. "Trixie never knew Twilight Sparkle was into that" she thought to herself.
Eventually, she found the kitchen as well as a little dragon making something inside the kitchen. "Hey, Twilight!" Spike poured some mix into a frying pan that lay on the hob. "I'm making us some pancakes, actually I already have some ready for you!"
Trixie chuckled, "Much obliged, faithful servant!"
Trixie probably shouldn't have said that as less than a second later Spike had pulled a pan down from the wall and prepared to strike. "Alright, 'Twilight', I've known Twilight my whole life and she has never dressed up like that unless it was a really special occasion, and has especially never called me 'faithful servant', who the heck are you and what have you done with Twilight?"
To most ponies, the sight of a tiny dragon wearing a chefs hat whilst preparing to hit someone with a frying pan would be adorable. Trixie was not 'most ponies', she was terrified and almost collapsed out of fear.
"I- um- I- you- ah- ee-" Trixie stammered, trying to muster up some kind of explanation, she considered telling the truth but then realised that would probably make it all worse.
They stared at each other for a solid minute, until Spike's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh crud, the pancakes!" He dropped the pan in his hand that fell to the ground with a loud BONK! and turned his attention towards the pan on the oven and immediately flipped the pancake. To his relief it hadn't burned, in fact, it looked pretty well done.
Luckily, while Spike had his attention turned away, Trixie had thought of the perfect excuse, so when Spike turned back towards Trixie and asked her what was going on Trixie explained, "I'm going to Canterlot to meet with Princess Celestia and some foreign diplomats, and I need to prepare myself to look more regal and formal so I give a good impression of Equestria to the foreign delegates."
The best part about this excuse was that she wasn't lying, even still Spike was fairly suspicious, but it didn't take long for Spike to recollect that such an event was scheduled for today and he lowered his guard, "Oh yeah, that," he said.
The pair quickly ate their pancakes, which were delicious, and Trixie made a strong effort to talk as little as possible to avoid saying something stupid, eventually, Spike broke the silence and asked: "So when are we going to Canterlot anyway?"
"We? Oh, you're Twilight's assistant aren't you..." Trixie thought. "My train leaves around quarter to twelve, Spike," she answered.
"Uh oh!" Spike pointed to the clock on the wall. "We better get going then!"
Looking up at the clock, Trixie had a mini-panic, "Twenty to twelve?" she shouted, "AHH! We gotta go now!" And with that, Trixie shot out the kitchen and sped out the castle's exit, not even bothering to wait for Spike.
"Twilight! You forgot your- uh, everything!" Spike tried to get Twili- oh not again, Trixie's attention but it was far too late, she had left the castle and there was no way Trixie could hear Spike even if he screamed. The little dragon had no choice but to chase Trixie through the streets, but his short legs don't have much chance of catching up to a galloping alicorn.
After speeding across Ponyville as quickly as she could, Trixie stopped in the middle of town for some cinnamon nuts. But then immediately dashed away and thankfully found the train station with her train patiently waiting for her, even though she was late thanks to the cinnamon nuts.
"All aboard!" shouted the conductor, "What's the matter with you Twilight? You're never late for a train, we had to delay just so you could get your flank up to Canterlot!"
Trixie scoffed, "That's Princess Twilight, to you, peasant." She boarded the train and took her seat with a huff and a mouthful of cinnamon nuts. The conductor was just as baffled as anyone would be at such strange behaviour, nonetheless as everyone was properly sat down the train started to move and started the long trip up to Canterlot.
"Waaait!" wailed Spike, "Don't go! You forgot me!" But his efforts were in vain, the train had disappeared over the horizon.
"Darn."
"Princess Twilight has arrived in Canterlot!"
Trixie made sure that her arrival was known to everyone at Canterlot Central Station, and I mean everyone. Announcing her presence, speaking as loudly as she could, flying above the crowds showing herself off. From her perspective, it felt fantastic as the peasants below gazed upon their lovely Princess, from everyone else's perspective it was more like "What the heck has gotten into Twilight?"
It shouldn't have taken long for Trixie to arrive at Celestia's Palace, but on the way she pranced through the streets gloating at every opportunity, and of course, stopping for cinnamon nuts, honestly it was a miracle that she arrived on time, even if she had been expected to arrive a whole fifteen minutes earlier.
Entering the palace for the first time in her life was quite the experience for Trixie, she had never been in a place so glamorous, with fantastic pieces such of art that must've cost thousands of bits to produce and even more to purchase around every corner, one particular painting of the night sky by the entrance to Luna's wing would've made the perfect backdrop for her next stage performance, actually. "Perhaps I could 'borrow' that from Princess Luna when I make my leave..." she pondered.
Though the palace was a pretty big place and she got lost very easily, but to her luck, Celestia had found Trixie in the kitchen, or more accurately, Trixie had found Celestia in the kitchen. See, Trixie had no idea she was going into a kitchen as she thought it was a bathroom, so finding Celestia stuffing her face full of chocolate cake was quite a shock, she thought it was- wait no, I'm not going to finish that sentence.
Nonetheless, upon finding one another they set off to the room where they'd be meeting with the foreign leaders. Throughout the whole walk to the castle's conference room, Celestia had a straight, serious, almost worried expression on her face. Trixie, on the other hoof, had an all too familiar smugness on the end of her muzzle. One thing they shared in common was that they didn't know who would be present at the meeting, Trixie had no idea which country the delegates were from and even though Celestia knew who the guests were she didn't know it was Trixie was by her side.
Then, they entered. Revealing just who they would be talking to today, and boy were they some interesting ponies. To Celestia's and Trixie's right, sat the infamous unicorn Adolf Hoofler, the brutal tyrant who exploited the anger of the Germaneighan population to rise to absolute power and destroy all those who stood against him. To their left, sat the notorious earth pony Josef Stallion, a cunning and sadistic monster who backstabbed and manipulated his way to the top of the Ruggian government.
Celestia knew the threat that these two ponies posed to the security and stability of the world as well as having extensive knowledge of the grotesque things they've said and done, so she tried her best to accommodate the both of them to ensure that they were both calm and ready to cooperate. Trixie barely knew who they were.
As the pair sat down across from the two rival tyrants, Celestia introduced herself. "Hello, Mr Hoofler and Mr Stallion, I am Princess Celestia of Equestria, I'm very glad that you came here today, as to prevent conflict between your two nations and foster a lasting peace." When Celestia spoke she had made eye contact with the two, as she looked into their eyes she could see the same evil that had plagued her sister and many former friends still burning strong. Trixie was distracted by the tapestry. "Twilight, would you like to introduce yourself?"
"Hm? Oh, of course!" Trixie leapt up onto the roundtable. "I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, the world famous Princess of Friendship and saviour of the universe!"
Hoofler raised an eyebrow at that remark, "Savior of ze univorse, ja? You zeem quite full of yourzelf."
"Wait, are you putting on an accent or is that your actual voice?" Trixie asked.
"Izt meine actual voice, why du ju azk?"
Now, Celestia had chosen Twilight for this meeting for many reasons, Twilight was taught half of what she knows by Celestia herself, Twilight had a keen interest in international geopolitics, and the name 'Princess Twilight Sparkle' was world famous, even bandits living in the alleys of Kludgetown knew that name. She was the perfect pony for the job.
Which is precisely why it was so horrifying when the purple princess laughed herself to tears at Hoofler's accent. Turns out that the angry persona the Hoofler puts on at his rallies isn't actually a persona, as he was now ranting and raving at Trixie which only made her laugh even harder.
On the other end of the table, Stallion was also laughing a little bit, "Xaxa, yer voice is kind ov funni, da."
This made Trixie pause her uncontrolled laughter, and stared at the moustached monster for a second or two until she burst out into laughter again. "HAHAHAHA! Your voice is even more stupid than his! HAHAHAHAHA!"
The two tyrants were now screaming indecipherable curse words in their native language at the overexcited poser, meanwhile, Celestia's face was buried in her hooves, in all her life she had never seen Twilight behave in this way, she had to speak up.
"TWILIGHT!" Her voice boomed through the halls of the castle, startling the guards and almost awakening Luna from her sleep, it also did quite a good job at shutting up the squabbling despots. "Um, Mr Hoofler and Mr Stallion, would you mind if Twilight and I excused ourselves for a minute?"
"Nein."
"Nyet."
Trixie giggled at their funny languages, only to be met by scowls from all around.
Celestia dragged Trixie into the hallway, hoping that the two stallions won't try anything while they were left alone for a few minutes. "Twilight, what has gotten into you?" Celestia asked, "we're trying to stop a war and your insensitivity is putting thousands of lives at risk!"
"Well, how was I supposed to know that?"
"..."
"..."
"...Twilight..."
"...Um, does your mane usually glow a mysterious, threatening, fiery, shade of orange?"
"...If I hear one more remark like that out of that smug little mouth of yours-"
"Okay! Stop!" Trixie wailed, "I give in! I'm not actually Twilight!... I'm Trixie..."
It took a minute for Celestia to process what she had just heard, and even longer to settle on a suitable response, at first she thought "That's got to be the stupidest excuse I've ever heard!" sounded good, then "Who in Equestria is Trixie, again?" seemed appropriate, and finally...
"That makes a lot of sense, actually." Celestia soon calmed down as the little cogs in her mind began to properly turn as they stitched everything together, Twilight would never let herself be late (or tardy), Twilight never wears jewelry, Twilight knows her way around the castle, Twilight knows exactly who those two stallions were and how serious the situation was, and Twilight has heard much funnier accents before and refrained from laughing. "So if you're not Twilight, why do you look and sound so much like her? And where's Twilight?"
"Really? I don't know!" Trixie cried, she had fallen to the ground and starting crying, only this time not of laughter. After sobbing and moaning for a full minute as Celestia just stood idly by and hoped she'd have some sort of epiphany to where Twilight really was. But, she may have gotten something even better than anything she could've imagined instead, Trixie's eyes opened wide and the tears dried almost immediately. "Princess, Twi- Trixie has an idea!"
Celestia turned her head down towards the unicorn (in an alicorns body) and her eyes widened. "You do?"
Getting up onto her hooves, the all too familiar smugness returned to her face. "We're meant to be helping those two ponies cooperate, aren't we?"
"Actually the two of them working together sounds like something from my worst nightmare."
"Oh, right," Celestia's supposed disapproval did not avail Trixie though, "But we do want them to be friendly, don't we?"
"Yes, Twizzie... that's your name. right?"
Trixie chuckled, "Then Trixie has the perfect plan! To the kitchen!... Honestly, Princess, I save all of Equestria and you don't even remember my name?"
"NEIN! DRECKIGE HOSEN! DU BIST HÄSSLICH!"
"VONYUCHIY KON! GULPAYA STRIZHKA!"
Celestia peeked into the meeting room, only to see it was exactly how it was when she last checked, "Trixie, are you finished yet? They've been screaming at each other for hours!"
"Ready!" Trixie came running through the hallway levitating a mysterious clay bottle ahead of her, "Give them some of this and it'll break the ice like nothing else!"
Seizing the bottle from Trixie's aura into her own Celestia investigated the bottle further, lifting the nozzle up to her muzzle she took a sniff, and she was immediately overwhelmed with a feeling in her nostrils that was somehow both pleasant or horrific, her head shot back and her nose scrunched up. "Ugh!- Ooh...- Um- What is this, Trixie?"
Taking the bottle back, Trixie took a swig, "Ahh, it's an old family recipe, brought my great grandparents together, dubbed it 'Lulamoonshine'! Want some, Princess?"
"Um, no thank you," Celestia said as she backed away, "Uhh, save it for the ponies who need it the most?"
"Excellent idea! I'll serve it up right away!" Trixie swung the doors to the meeting room wide open, making a loud crash as the doors slammed into the walls grabbing the attention of the two angry dictators. It shut them up for a moment, as their anger and hatred towards this purple princess seemed to outweigh the anger they had towards each other. Celestia could only watch. "Boys, I am dreadfully sorry for my behaviour earlier, so I have decided to make it up to you by brewing you some drinks!"
Trixie poured the liquid into two large glass mugs, mugs that Celestia and Luna have likely used themselves a few times, and then she hovered the drinks over towards the table, giving one to Hoofler and the other to Stallion. Stallion took a whiff of his drink. "Ugh, smell like pure poison!"
"Müch like vhat you haff at home, zhen? Höhöhöhö!" Hoofler joked.
"Low blow, musor," Stallion returned, "Yu du not insult poni's wodka."
"Zhis lookz fine, but I sevarely doubt... " Hoofler took a sip. " ...it'z better zhan vhat I drink at hö- meine güte."
Across the table, Stallion had a little bit. "It's... um, uh, oh, svyataya korova!"
Trixie, caressing the bottle and watching them intently, asked the question with an answer so obvious it didn't really warrant asking unless the goal was to boost Trixie's ego, which most certainly was the goal. "Well, do you like it?"
In response, a loud "Da!" and a loud "Ja!" from the pacified ponies was heard loud and clear as the pair laughed their differences away, Celestia entered the room with a warm smile wiping the sweat away, whatever Trixie just did saved the world from certain disaster.
"Danke schoen, Twilight Sparkle!" Hoofler cried, "You haff made eine ünbelievable contribution to ze peace!"
"Da, cheers to Twilight Sparkle!" Stallion added.
"Oh, thank you," replied Trixie, "But I think I should tell you that I'm not actually Twilight Sparkle, for I go by the great and powerful-"
BOOM!
"TRIXIIIIIIIIE!"
Silence fell on the room. As the dust cleared from the big explosion that blew off half the wall across from Trixie she could identify two unicorns standing in the newly created hole, one being her friend Starlight Glimmer and the other being herself. The face on the light-blue unicorn could be described as the face of somebody who's been having to live the strange and life of another pony because someone else is in their body and they want it the heck back.
"...Is my voice really that annoying?"
Author's Note
Took me a while to write this, if you're lucky you can expect Twilight's story and an epilogue by the end of the year.
The Irritated and Confused Stage Magician
"A squared.... plus B squared... equals..."
Knock knock!
"C squared!... Where am I?"
Twilight took in her cramped environment, she lay on a small bed in a small wagon surrounded by boxes full of stage equipment, she even noticed that a cute little wizard's hat lay on her head. Not to mention, she noticed something very wrong with her voice and she couldn't feel her wings.
Knock knock!
"Just a second!" Twilight mumbled as she struggled to stay awake, "Gimme a minute, ugh... "
She crawled out of her bed and stumbled towards the door, opening up it to be greeted by a very enthusiastic Starlight Glimmer on the other side. "Hi Trixie!"
"Trixie? But I'm Twilight!"
The pair stood still, staring at each other in complete silence and utter confusion, until they both had a horrifying epiphany.
"I'm in Trixie's body!"
"Trixie's in your body!"
"What!?"
Screaming ensued, while it probably looked really cute to see Twilight doing her classic trot-on-the-spot-and-squeal with Trixie's voice and body, they were screams of untold horror. It took them a minute or two to calm down and fully take in the situation, when the time felt right, Twilight took a deep breathe and began to ask Starlight some questions.
"So Trixie is in my body, and you only just realised that? What was she doing?"
"The more I think about it," Starlight recollected, "the more obvious it should've been. She had her- sorry, your mane done up all fancy and was wearing a tiara, some gold shoes and one of those silly jewellery neck-things, kinda looked like a tiny, boastful, purple Celestia."
When Starlight uttered the name "Celestia" an even more horrifying epiphany hit Twilight like a ton of bricks, her eyeballs were as wide as a Hearth's Warming dinner plate and her pupils were as tiny as a piece of cheap Nightmare Night candy. "I'm supposed to be having lunch with Celestia today."
"Ohh right, yeah," Starlight remembered, "she mentioned that too, wanted to make you look more presentable."
Twilight's mind completely colappsed, , "This isn't just any lunch with Celestia! We're meant to be having a meeting with the leaders of Ruggia and Germaneigh so that they don't go to war!"
"Hold on, what?" Starlight replied, puzzled as ever.
"Basically," Twilight started, "these two far away countries really hate each other and have a gazillion conflicting claims and ambitions, and if they start fighting it'll trigger a big long chain of mutual defence treaties and eventually drag Equestria to war!"
"...Um, okay." Starlight was still trying to process the situation. "You sure Trixie won't be able to handle it?"
Twilight scoffed, "How well does Trixie understand the long-standing rivalry between two ideologically opposed countries on the other side of the world?"
"...Not very well at all," Starlight admitted.
"Right!" Twilight shouted, "We've got to stop her, now!"
On that note, Twilight thrust herself forward, leapt up into the air, spread out her body as she prepared to soar into the heavens... and fell flat on her face.
"...I forgot Trixie didn't have wings."
Starlight burst out in laughter, even harder than he had earlier, the sight of Trixie (or to be more accurate, someone in Trixie's body) trying to fly with absolute confidence they could only to find their nose deep in the dirt was both adorable and hilarious.
A grumbling Twilight got her muzzle out of the ground and stared at Starlight, who was now laughing herself to tears. "How about you stop laughing at me and get going?" Twilight suggested.
"Hah, sorry." Starlight wiped the tears from her eyes and started to trot back towards the castle. "Be honest though, if you were in my shoes you'd be doing the same thing." Twilight could only grumble in response as she followed Starlight.
After a short walk, they'd arrived at Twilight's castle, upon entering through the front gate it came to their surprise that the building was empty. "Hello? Twilight?" Starlight called.
"I'm right here, I've been right behind you the whole time." Twilight replied.
"No, I'm calling for Trixie, she doesn't know that I know yet!" Starlight explained.
"Right, like that matters." Twilight stepped forward into the castle halls and took a deep breath. "Trix-eee! I have your bod-eee! I also know that you have my body and quite frankly I'd like it baaa-aaack!"
Yet, nobody could hear them, with the exception of Owlowiscious, and whatever bugs and rodents were hiding under the floorboards, the castle was empty. Not even Spike and the few friendship students Twilight had taken aboard after recent developments could be found. After a long search of every room and every hall, Twilight turned to her companion and asked: "Um, Starlight, do you think they left?"
Starlight couldn't help but believe the same, "Perhaps she's already at the train station?"
In response, Twilight gasped, "Oh no! She could be departing as we speak! Quick, teleport!"
The horn on her head lit up with a light pink glow, the glow grew more and more intense, until suddenly the little blue unicorn was gone! Magic!... Except it wasn't really that spectacular as she walked out of a nearby room a few seconds later. "Turns out Trixie's not great and powerful enough for long range teleportation," Twilight huffed.
Upon hearing that, Starlight's horn began to emit a bright turquoise glow. The light grew to engulf the two unicorns and before they knew it a bright magical flash had sent them to the Ponyville train station. From what they could tell, a train just left and that this train was probably carrying Trixie.
"Darn," Twilight groaned.
"Trixie? Starlight?" Spike turned around in surprise to greet the two ponies now looking down on him. "What're you doing here?"
Twilight crouched down so she was level with her scaly assistant, "Spike!" she shouted, "Am I glad to see you! I don't know why or how it happened, but Trixie and I have swapped bodies and I don't know where she is and how we're going to switch back!"
Silence lingered for a few seconds until Spike raised his eyebrow and spoke up. "Right, like I'm gonna believe that!" Twilight threw herself back in shock as Spike didn't seem to believe him. "I've seen cartoons before, and one thing I know for certain is that if their bodies swap their voices swap. You still sound exactly like Trixie!"
Twilight's jaw dropped in both shock and disgust, the little dragon who had known her his whole life didn't believe her, "W-WHAT? Spike, this isn't a cartoon, this is real life!" Inexplicably, Pinkie Pie appeared and laughed at the three, before disappearing into the same nothing she inexplicably appeared from. Disregarding that, Twilight continued, "I'm Twilight, Spike! Ask me something that only I would know!"
Pondering Twilight's request for a minute, Spike soon came up with a suitable question, "Alright, 'Twilight', tell me, what were you doing when I unexpectedly entered your bedroom last Tuesday?"
She froze. Completely still. Not even a hint of movement anywhere on her body, it didn't even look live she was breathing for a few seconds. After ten or so seconds Starlight spoke up, "You know, Spike, I'm pretty sure this is Twilight... But I wanna see where this is going."
Eventually Twilight showed signs that she was alive, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth wide ready to speak. "I was kissing a book."
"That's it?" Starlight added, "That doesn't sound so bad... "
Spike chuckled as a mischievous childish grin grew on his lips. "What was the book's name?"
Twilight sighed, "History of Science, featuring fancy words and complicated mathematics. I saw it in the bookstore and we fell in love immediately."
"What did you say to the book, Twilight?" Spike pressed further.
Twilight's, though it was technically Trixie's, face turned a bright red. "I said that I loved the book and I wanted to savour the knowledge it was going to give me... And before you ask about what I was wearing... "
Again, Pinkie Pie made an unpredictable appearance and told me that I was definitely pushing the limits of what was acceptable in an E rated story, Pinkie then left the scene as she realised that interruptions like this ruined the flow of the story and confused the reader, I got back on track with writing the crew's reaction to Twilight's embarrassing confession.
"Okay, that's nuts." Starlight admitted.
"Oh come on!" Twilight shouted, "Don't we all have our own little strange thing we do when we're alone? You want me to tell you the things I saw in Trixie's wagon this morning?"
"Aw, heck yeah!" Spike replied.
"No!... I mean, that'd be quite inconsiderate, heheh." Starlight added.
Twilight, getting back on track after that ridiculous detour, turned towards the little dragon. "So, Spike, do you believe I'm Twilight now?"
In response, Spike snorted. "Yeah, of course! I always knew! I just wanted you to admit that little incident actually happened." Spike's face turned smug as Twilight's grew angry, but they didn't really have time for confrontation as a train pulled into the station, Twilight had hoped that this train might take them to Canterlot and that she'd be able to confront Trixie before she caused any real damage, but sadly, that was not the case.
"Ahh! The great and powerful one has come to greet us at the station!" screamed a young mare as she exited the train, to be followed my more screaming young mares wearing purple hats and capes, it didn't take a genius (even though Twilight was one) to figure out that these overenthusiastic ponies came to see Trixie.
As the small crowd began to overwhelm Twilight with autograph requests and the sort, she needed to think quick. Even though she was a princess she was very rarely overrun with fans, ponies saw a reason to treat their princesses with respect, things were a tad different when it came to their favourite stage magician.
"Thank you all for your, uh, admiration! But, the busy and hardworking Trixie needs a minute to speak with her assistants in private!" Twilight announced, before pushing Spike and Starlight into the waiting room. "What in the heck is going on, Starlight? You know Trixie better than anyone, so you should know what's going on, right?"
Starlight pondered for a minute, before remembering that "Trixie has a big show today, and a bunch of fans all the way from Vanhoover have come to see it."
Slamming her hooves into her face, Twilight sat down on the dirty waiting room floor, "Great, so the one day that we both have something incredibly important to do just so happens to be the day where we've switched bodies." She showed her face (wait no it's not her face it's Trixie's AAAAGGH) again by lowering her hooves. "Trixie's shows can't be that good, can they? To gather such an audience?"
"Well, she has been improving," Starlight began, "But I didn't expect her to be this successful... Anyway! Back to Trixie's wagon! We need to get you changed!"
"Um, excuse me?" Twilight and Spike questioned in unison.
"These ponies came all this way to see Trixie, you don't wanna let them down, right?" Starlight suggested.
Sighing again, Twilight said "I don't know how much attention you've been paying, but stopping a freakin' war is more important than a magic show, we gotta run." Twilight made for the exit. "I'll send the fanmares home."
"Wait!" Starlight shouted, grabbing Twilight's attention, "Celestia's gonna be with the crazy guys, right? Won't she be able to handle it?"
Thinking about it for a few seconds, Twilight conceded to Starlight's requests. "Fine, I'll do the weirdos magic show. I'll put on the dumb cape and stupid hat, and I'll do the show."
Starlight chuckled, "Alright, Twilight, you've got about thirty-five minutes until the show starts."
"BOO!"
"That was original and unexpected, BOO!"
"BOO! Show us one we know!"
Twilight, now wearing a surprisingly comfortable hat and cape while performing for the demanding crowd upon the stage in Ponyville town centre, was utterly shocked at the audience's reaction to her opening-a-rift-between-the-real-world-and-the-dreamscape-and-making-anything-possible trick, which was not only a fascinating sight but also difficult to pull off with Trixie's body's limited magical strength compared to Twilight's body. "Oh, what, would you rather have me do the same, repetitive, and predictable card tricks over and over again, as opposed to real magic?"
"YES!"
Honestly, Twilight didn't know what she expected. With the exception of Spike, who was quite enjoying the show Twilight was putting on despite having seen her incredible tricks before, the audience was quite displeased despite having never seen her incredible tricks before.
"Right... Assistant magician Glim Glam! Deck of cards please!" A grumbling Starlight emerged from behind the curtains wearing your run-of-the-mill embarrassing assistant magician outfit, fitting her stage-name 'Glim Glam', and gave Twilight a deck of cards. "Does Trixie really call you that?" Twilight whispered.
"Heh, yeah... " giggled Glimmer, "Good luck with this crowd, Tw- Trixie!" It seemed that Starlight's presence mixed with her cute appearance pleased the crowd, Twilight began to wonder if they really cared about Trixie's magic show.
"Pick a card, any card." Twilight leaned down to a pony in the front row of seats in the audience and showed her the deck of cards. "Don't tell me once you've chosen." Twilight knew that 'pick a card and I'll pick the same one' tricks were exceedingly simple as long as you used real magic, hold the selected card in one aura and the rest of the deck in a separate aura, then blow the audience away, she figured all this out when she was seven.
She did this, and the audience went wild, the sound thunderous applause resonated across the town centre. "It's just a card trick, calm down." everyone sane thought to themselves. It may have been for the best that Trixie wasn't here today, as her head might have exploded due to the rapid expansion of her ego.
At this point Twilight was quite immersed in the role of a stage magician, maybe she could do this for the rest of the day and figure out how to get her body back later on, she was certain that Trixie would negotiate with the two leaders in a respectful manner!
...
Then she remembered that film of Hoofler speaking to his supporters in Numnahberg, and how daft his Germaneighan accent was. To make matters worse she remembered her trip to Ruggia around a year and a half ago, and how ridiculous Stallion's accent was.
Trixie would not be able to handle such silliness.
oh no
"Um," she began, "Trixie would like to show her adoring fans her new disappearing act!" Twilight ran up to Starlight and grabbed her. "Teleport us to Canterlot, now!"
"But the show-"
"NOW!"
And so, Starlight followed Twilight's demands, and all of a sudden the two of them were in the courtrooms of Canterlot Castle. "Why didn't we just do this at the start?" Twilight questioned before she turned around to be greeted by the castle wall, a wall in which she recognised. "Hah! Great aim, Starlight! The meeting room is right behind that wall!"
"Oh, uh, thanks Twili-"
ZAP!
BOOM!
Before Starlight could even finish her sentence, Twilight had blown a hole in the side of the castle wall. She ran inside the castle and took note of her surroundings, one big white princess hiding behind a door, two moustached stallions with some kind of beverage dribbling from their mouths, and one purple alicorn that was in the wrong body.
Twilight took a deep breath, and screamed. "TRIXIIIIIIIIE!"
...
"...Is my voice really that annoying?"
Author's Note
if you can't tell i made this up as i went along
i doubt it's as good in terms of quality as the first chapter, if you have any critique or suggestions, please speak up, i need all the help i can if i want to improve my writing
The (Underwhelming) Epilogue
Twilight spread out her wings, "Oh thank Celestia!..." she cried, "literally!"
Celestia chuckled in response, "It's nothing, Twilight, when you've watched over Equestria as long as I have this becomes a regularity."
However, Trixie was not so pleased, the closest she ever got to global fame and fortune was this accidental and mysterious bodyswapping fiasco, and it fell flat on its face. Actually, it was probably for the best based on Trixie's behaviour today.
"Trixie demands we put this to a vote! All in favour of The Great and Powerful Trixie indefinitely acquisitioning the body of Twilight Sparkle say aye," Trixie shouted, "aye!"
Nothing but silence from everyone else.
"Um, all in favour of ponies keeping their own bodies say aye?" suggested Starlight,
"Aye!" yelled Twilight.
"Aye," said Celestia.
"Aye," mumbled a pair of eavesdropping royal guards.
"What is this 'vote' you speak of?" asked Stallion, entering the room.
"Ja, I haven't heard like 'vote' in years," added Hoofler, following closely behind his adversary with the Lulamoon family moonshine dripping from his mouth.
"Oh!" Twilight jumped a little as that was said. "Allow me to explain, a 'vote', straight from the Canterlot dictionary, is a formal indication of a choice multiple courses of action, such as who to appoint to a public office. They're usually expressed through a show of hooves, a ballot or-"
But before Twilight could finish her explanation, Stallion threw up all over the floor. "Eugh, demokrazi!" he shouted.
"Vatch your mouth, your highness!" 'Ballot' is hiz trigger vord!" Hoofler added, "Uck! Meine too!" With that, Hoofler regurgitated his stomachs contents in a similar manner to Stallion.
Bewildered, but not surprised in the slightest, Twilight turned towards her blue counterpart. "Sorry, Trixie, but it seems like you're gonna have to settle with the fanmares you've already got... Hold on, Trixie you have to go, now!"
"And why is that, Sparkle?" a grumbling Trixie replied.
"Because you have fans in Ponyville who came all the way from Vanhoover to see you!" Twilight revealed, "And so another character can inexplicably enter at the exact moment you leave..."
"My goodness, real fans? I must leave at once!" With that, Trixie launched herself out of the room and sped towards the nearest train station. Just as Twilight predicted, Spike burst through another door to the one Trixie used at the very second Trixie left.
"Twilight! Oh my gosh, are you here? When you just teleported away like that I-" Spike began to take in his surroundings. "Oh crud! Twilight's gone, and Trixie's poisoned the foreign delegates!"
"You're only half right, Spike," Twilight began, "I'm back in my own body!"
"Really?" a skeptical Spike called back, "How can I be sure?"
"Because I just put her back in her body." Celestia added.
"And I saw it all happen." Starlight confirmed.
"So," a satisfied Spike said, "everything's back to normal?"
"Yeah!" Except for those two." Twilight gestured toward the two tyrants that lay on the floor in a drunken mess, they had fallen asleep and were... hugging? Wow, this story is getting weird, I need to finish up before it gets even weirder.
Twilight went home and read a book, while Spike and Starlight did something with carrots. Celestia sent the visitors home and Trixie's head almost exploded when she was greeted by her adoring fans.
...
That's the end of the story, I'm gonna go write something else.
