11/03/1996
Dear journal,
I kicked the wall. I kicked my bed. I kicked everything in my room that wasn't made of cloud. I wanted to hurt somepony. I even wanted to hurt my parents, who put me in my room like a prisoner. But first, I had to destroy everything in my room, just to show them how angry I was.
But they didn't come up to apologize. They didn't even care enough to see if I was okay, which they should have since I hit my head hard on my dresser. It hurt so much I cried, but they still didn't come up.
Right now I'm laying on my bed, still crying, and my head might be bleeding, but it doesn't matter because nopony is here to make it better. I feel kinda dizzy too, and I keep seeing dark spots everywhere. I think it's because of hitting my head, but I don't care. I'm tired now. I'm going to take a nap... and those dumb ponies better not come and wake me up. I hope I never wake up.
________________________________________________________________________________
When it happens, I'm oblivious to it.
Uncontrollable spells of emotion have haunted me since I was a very young filly, and it was something that rendered me hopeless time and time again. Not only was it unable to be diagnosed by local psychiatrists, but it made me the absolute outcast of my school.
Many friendships had suffered, even though I wasn't able to make many to begin with. Usually, nopony would remain my friend after witnessing one of my spells, and be scared off. Flight school was quite possibly the worst few years of my life.
Often, I would believe what the fillies from my class would say. "She's too weird to make any friends." Their teasing voices hung in my ears each night when I went to sleep and only made the days harder to endure. I had always hoped that one day, somepony would still be there after my spells. Somepony to just sit there and promise that they were here to stay.
I don't know how, and I don't know why, but somehow I was able find such a pony. She came to me when I was certain I was the loneliest pony in Equestria.
I was in the corner of the schoolyard, having just gotten over one of my fits. My entire side of the cloud was empty, since I'd threatened to kill anypony who tried to come close. I didn't notice that one filly had crossed the yard and was approaching me fearlessly.
She stopped several hooves away, and I turned around slowly. I don't remember what she looked like. I don't remember the sound of her voice, but I remember the conversation word-for-word.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"Go away."
"But you look sad. Don't you want to talk to somepony?"
"I told everypony to go away or I'll kill them."
"I don't believe that."
"Why not?" I stood to face the filly.
"Well, my mommy always says that too. But she never does."
From across the yard, I noticed some ponies pointing toward us and mumbling snide remarks amongst themselves. My temper began to rise again.
"Why aren't you over there with those jerks?" I snapped. "You should be with your lame friends, making fun of me like always."
"I don't make fun of you." She stepped closer, making me slightly nervous.
"Go on, before I..."
"Before you what?"
"B-before..." My head was swimming. This one pony had broke from the crowd, wanting to talk to me, and even after I told her to leave, she was still there. It didn't make sense. Nopony I knew wanted to be in the same class with me, let alone have a conversation.
I didn't know how to deal with those thoughts. Eventually, in my youthful mindset, I just sat down and let the built up confusion and emotion flow out of me. I started to cry, not bothering to hide it from the filly before me. Not a moment later, I felt a light hoof on my shoulder. I didn't look up, nor did I cease my muffled sobs.
We sat like this for a few minutes, as I tried to quiet myself and process my feelings. I wanted to hate her, for the sole purpose of keeping the status I'd always held, which was being alone. But I couldn't. Deep down, what I really wanted was to be accepted by somepony who wasn't obligated to do so, like my family or the coach. I realized that having this pony beside me, offering me the slightest bit of comfort, was much better than having to face the day by myself.
When I had stopped crying, for the most part, I finally looked up at my classmate. Without thinking, I showed her my gratitude with the first genuine smile I'd ever brought forth at school. To my delight, the filly returned it. Never before had I met a pony of my age with such a good heart and an infectiously kind attitude. For that, I owed my life to her.
Before I met my friend, my parents would try to fill that empty void; however, it was only after school when the damage had already been done. During class, I would try to think of their words from the night before: "We're always here for you, Raindrops. If you feel bad during the day, just think of us," they'd say, kissing the top of my head.
But when the school day did end, the first place I would run was not into my parent's arms, but to the solace of my room. It was here when I would reach the height of my rage and resort to physical violence. My furniture suffered, as well as my well-being. The latter, my parents were intent on protecting.
Unfortunately, I was a compulsive little filly who thought that every act was against me in some way. Everything those ponies did for my own good irrationally filled me with rage and hatred toward them. My stubborn ways did occasionally get the best of my parents, causing them to shut down and leave me to my own intentions in another part of the house.
Now, as an almost fully-grown mare, I'm able to control my anger spells much easier. I no longer need the guidance of an older, wiser pony. Nevertheless, I often think of those beloved ponies and how much they wished for me to be happy. I only wish I could have thanked them for their care back then, when their help benefited me the most... while they were still alive.
Ponyville became a safe haven for me after I moved out of Cloudsdale. Although the sky life provided a wonderfully spacious home, its residents were all painfully aware of who I was and the dangers I posed.
Ponyville took me by surprise, due to the welcoming nature of the villagers and an abundance of happy faces. Never before had I seen so much residual joy occur in a town without an obvious cause.
I used to think pegasi were more privileged than earth ponies, for having more freedom and speed than others could dream of. However, after living among these ground-dwelling citizens, I realized that those without wings have something much more special to offer. The unity and friendship that lies in the hearts of every Ponyvillian has helped significantly with suppressing my anger.
Although the town laid before me is inhabited by the kindest souls I've had the pleasure of meeting, something prevents me from befriending any of them. It's not that I'm introverted, or antisocial, or simply being unfriendly. Nor does it have to do with myself, but, rather, somepony else. I've carried her in my thoughts throughout the years, for she is the one thing that provided hope for better times. I wouldn't dream of replacing her.
What I think of when my companion comes to mind is not her appearance, since that part of my memory eludes me still. It is her kindness and willingness to accept my abnormalities, despite it all. It gives me a warm feeling - the thought that somepony, at some time, cared that much for me.
The happiness that wells within me every time I think of her is enough to sustain me for weeks, or at least until my next breakdown. But along with the resulting contentment comes frustration, in the fact that I can't even remember what this pony even looked like. I could easily ask around town if anypony remembers our friendship, but I had no idea where to start. I had absolutely no proof of her existence, and others would probably pass it off as some imaginary friend from my fillyhood. I often think about this, but in the end it always comes down to the same conclusion - there was some pony, at some time, who saved me from the worst years of my life. Where did she go? Did she move away, or maybe suffer a worse fate?
What's even more worrisome is that some of my other memories of lower significance still reside in my mind, crystal clear. Everything that I actually want to remember is nowhere to be found. She was a pegasus, that much I know for sure. The other details surrounding her are a complete mystery; what her name was, what we did together, etc. It gives me the feeling that there are other significant memories floating around somewhere in the void of my subconscious.
After becoming accustomed to my home in Ponyville, I took up a job at Cloudsdale Mail & Freight. It did require me to wake up much earlier than I was used to in order to travel out of town and occasionally fight against wind currents. But I didn't complain, since it had good pay and provided the opportunity to meet other pegasi. Every day while going into work, I hoped that some bit of luck would sneak it's way in, and maybe I'd find that fillyhood friend I can't stop thinking of.
But, sadly, all I see are my unfamiliar coworkers going about their jobs. Some do speak to me once and a while, sometimes business-related and sometimes a friendly remark. I suppose being surrounded by kind pegasi who barely know me is better than living off of the hollow mental image of one. Maybe.
***
"Derpy Hooves, are you aware that this is the fourth time this week you've screwed up?" The burly stallion's voice booms from behind the office door. I cringe a little, but don't dare leave my spot. After my shift ended, I was called up to the boss's room to await my punishment. Or, our punishment, rather.
Earlier that day a few of my co-workers, including the ever-clumsy Derpy, and I were given the task of helping a Ponyville family move into a new house. This particular family apparently liked to own a lot of heavy and expensive items, so the boss had come along to supervise our job and make sure everything was secured.
As a few pegasi below were having difficulty trying to lift a sofa, Derpy and I kept our eyes on them in case they were in need of assistance. But as we were doing so, several of the heavier items we were supposed to have tied down began sliding toward the opening of the moving van. Before we knew what was happening, a barrage of furniture fell through the air and pummeled a lavender unicorn below. Now, it was only a matter of time before the boss did the same to us.
"I've said this dozens of times before, but I just don't know what to do with you. How do you expect to keep your job when I can't even let you out of my sight for more than five minutes?"
After a few moments of silence, I hear heavy hoofsteps clacking toward the door. I brace myself.
The stallion pokes his head through and spots me leaning against the wall. With a scowl, he motions for me to come in, and I anxiously gulp. A visit to the head pony's office is never a good thing.
As I walk through the door, I see Derpy sitting on a cushion in front of the boss's desk. She turns around hesitantly, a look of distress on her face. I can't blame her - the boss rarely gave lectures that were pleasant to sit through. However, as soon as the mare sees me, her eyes brighten with a filly-like vivacity. As always, I cast my coworker a quick smile before sitting next to her on the floor. It's hard to deny friendship to such an amiable pony, but my primary focus is on finding the right one.
"Look, ladies..." the buck says roughly, interrupting my thoughts. "I didn't call you down here to fire you. Even though you both were technically the cause of the incident, I'm lettin' you stay in the business." He surveys both employees' faces before adding in, "But only under a few circumstances. You both know I wouldn't let you off that easily."
"We'll do whatever you ask," I stammer, although not particularly wanting to hear what he had in mind.
"First of all, you girls will be taking a double shift this week. Three extra hours each day."
We both nod.
The stallion then steps beside Derpy, clopping a hoof on her shoulder. "And Raindrops, I want you to make sure this mare doesn't mess up or mishandle anything on her agenda. You are to stay with her throughout your entire shift. Otherwise, I'll fire both of you. Simple as that." I glance uncertainly at my co-worker, who, oddly, seems elated at the news.
"Wait," I inquire. "So I have to stay with her all day? As in, all three hours, plus three more hours?"
"That's right. And don't even think about complaining. You're already in enough trouble." I hold my tongue before I can say anything risky. A six-hour work day, including the weather job every pegasus was obliged to participate in, doesn't seem to me like a fair trade. Hasn't this pony ever heard of making mistakes? I think.
No, Raindrops. This is how you get riled up. Just accept the punishment and leave. I try to avoid looking frustrated and face my boss.
"Alright, sir. Thank you."
We are both excused from the stallion's office, both relieved that this particular blunder hadn't cost us our jobs. The day has now reached its turning point, the blue and yellow afternoon sky giving way to a brilliant sunset. The evening weather patrol is on duty, painting the air around them with cirrus clouds. I watch in awe, but am soon interrupted by a voice to my right.
"I'm so glad the boss didn't fire us. Were you nervous, Raindrops? You still look kinda nervous."
"I am perfectly fine, Derpy. Just a little peeved, is all."
"Oh... about what?"
I sigh. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure you don't want to be burdened with my problems. It's getting late anyway, so maybe we should just head home."
"Oh, you're right," Derpy said, glancing up at the sky. She spreads her wings and leaps into the air, leaving a small puff of cloud in her wake.
"I'll see ya tomorrow, Raindrops!" Derpy speeds off toward the town, leaving me behind to watch the dreary sun sink below the horizon.
The relentlessly positive attitude of the wall-eyed mare has nearly worn me out, although such a thing might prove to be something worth being around. It has been a tough few months, from getting a work-heavy job to dealing with a stallion with even more intolerance than myself. I could use all the positivity I can get my hooves on.
Deciding to linger a bit, I gaze up at the delicate orange clouds cast across the sky. It is a nice distraction from the stress of the preceding day.
***
"Alright, everypony! Let's move out!" The burly pegasus directs his workers from atop the roof of Cloudsdale Mail & Freight. Everypony is armed with their saddlebags and ready to head out, including me and my cheerful companion.
"Ready, Derpy? Just stay behind me and try to keep up," I said, spreading my wings.
The morning is clear and crisp, and the sun's rays grace the modest town of Ponyville below. The town's residents are already at peak activity, conversing with one another and enjoying the cozy summer day. Watching them makes me feel more at home than I ever did in Cloudsdale.
Tucking my wings, I descend toward the ground. The clouds begin to rush past me, the wind whipping through my mane and feathers. Needless to say, the trip from Cloudsdale to Ponyville is the only exciting part of the job, apart from the occasional happenings in town that would stir my interest. Lest I forget the time a swarm of parasprites made a surprise visit and almost destroyed the entire village. Nevertheless, these events save me from complete and utter boredom.
Occasionally I glance back to make sure my partner hadn't drifted off, but despite her obvious visual impairment, she seems to be a decent flyer. I have one less thing to worry about.
The distance between us and the town recedes, and with a quick spread of my wings, I hastily swerve upward before nearing the ground. Once I get my momentum under control, I slow to a hover, waiting for my fellow pegasus to catch up.
As soon as I look up, however, I instantly take back that "one less thing" thought.
The pegasus hits the brakes much too late, sending her careening into a stand full of vegetables. Upon impact, a barrage of various produce explodes and splatters onto unsuspecting onlookers, much to my horror. I am luckily able to dodge a few tomatoes, but everypony else wasn't so fortunate.
My initial thought is to scold Derpy. If she knew flight control was challenging for her, then following my example probably wasn't the best thing to do. However, given the situation at hand, I feel it best to leave the blame behind for the time being. I have a responsibility to keep.
The disheveled pegasus promptly asks everypony if they are okay, and even offers to help clean up, but I whisk my partner away to try to avoid further conflicts. I don't feel great about doing this, but I can't help the fact that my patience is growing shorter by the minute.
Once we are far enough away from the crash sight, I say tiredly, "Alright, this obviously won't be an easy day for us. All I can ask is for you to try your hardest and stay out of trouble, alright?" Derpy brushes the dust off of her coat, glancing up with a hint of dejection.
"I'm sorry, Raindrops. I just can't help it sometimes."
As forgiving as I usually am toward her, something prevents me from saying It's okay, Derpy. Everypony makes mistakes. Why don't we go get some ice cream? It is the part of my mind that wants everypony I know to be terrified of me, or to be punished. And when the right situations present themselves, it slowly overtakes my mind.
Trying my hardest to stay sane, I turn away and grumble, "Sure. Fine. Let's just get back to work, okay?"
"Okay..." Derpy says defensively. "What's got your saddle in a bunch?"
I tensed up. "A lot of things have got my saddle in a bunch, Derpy. I'm not gonna lay out all my problems and expect you to feel sorry for me, but maybe you could help me out a little." Derpy nods attentively, and I calmly continue. "First of all, I'm sorry in advance if I ever set off on you. I'm under a lot of stress right now, and with the addition of these extra work hours, and..." I pause for a bit, trying to form sentences in my mind that wouldn't sound degrading or self-pitying.
"... some things just push me over the edge. I really don't want to criticize you, but it would be fantastic if you could be a little less... you know... Derpy?"
The pegasus produces an indignant frown. "Well, I'm sorry for being me. I kinda thought you would be excited about us working together. Like being paired up in flight school, remember?"
Flight school? Okay, maybe I'm not the only forgetful one here.
"Derpy, you weren't in my class. And why do you think I would be excited anyway?" Within moments, I regret saying this, as Derpy's expression now turns to that of discouragement.
"Wait, you didn't... you weren't looking forward to this? W-what did I..."
"No, no, it's not that. It's been such a long time since then, and... to be honest, I don't remember being paired up with you for anything. Are you sure it was me?"
"Of course. I know I'm not the smartest pony around, but that was one of the best things I remembered about Flight School."
"How so?"
Derpy blinks. "Come on, Raindrops. Don't tell me you've forgotten about it already."
Now I wasn't sure if it was the lack of breakfast that had turned my brain into mush, or if the pegasus before me was having a lapse of her own. Either way, something wasn't quite connecting between us.
"Alright, Derpy, I'll be frank. I have no idea what you're talking about. If you could jog my memory somehow, I'm sure..." I trail off. This pony isn't the one I'm used to seeing everyday. She's quite the opposite, in fact, as she is startlingly on the verge of tears. A switch goes off in my head, and I realize that something isn't right.
"What... what's wrong? Don't get upset," I try to assure. "Did I say something bad? Please tell me if I did, and I'll fix it." Her words fail to incite a response, which only further worries me.
"Derpy, please, talk to me!" I attempt to take the mare's hoof, but it moved away from my reach and was drawn up to the bearer's chest.
"If you d-don't want to have anything t-to do with me," Derpy manages through a cracking voice, "then you could've just said so." The pegasus flares her wings and takes off through the sky, leaving behind a few glistening tears. I hover in place, watching her figure disappear behind the clouds.
"Um... what just happened?"
I whip around in surprise to see a vanilla-coated pony with a fuchsia mane floating toward me, seemingly bewildered. All I can do was look at her in silence as my brain tries to process an appropriate answer, but to no avail.
"I... I honestly don't know."
"Well, you were here, weren't you?" The orange-eyed pegasus stops to eye my saddlebags which, unfortunately, are still packed to the rim with mail. "Anyway, maybe you two - erm, you, should get to delivering those." She points a hoof at the brown sack. "I heard the boss is going down especially hard on ponies lately. Probably because everypony is taking vacations this time of year... In fact, I was considering taking one myself - OOF!"
The pony catches herself before the weight of my saddlebags yanks her from the atmosphere, while I begin flapping intently toward Cloudsdale.
"My apologies, Parasol," I say, glancing back. "I have something a little more important to take care of." Parasol watches, somewhat agitated, as I follow the flight path of my troubled partner. I am not the type to upset a pony and leave them behind, no matter the circumstances.
I want to believe it. I want to have some sort of reassurance. All that separates me from confirming the identity of my misplaced friend is solid proof. A photo, perhaps, or the account from a fellow flight school graduate.
Derpy has always been the kindest, most generous pony I've known. The fact that I've never even guessed that it was her almost makes me want to buck myself in the face. It's just so obvious, but at the same time I don't want to jump to conclusions only to be proven wrong. I need to find that pegasus as soon as possible.
A good amount of time is spent searching the cloud bluffs around Cloudsdale. I try to lay low in hopes that my slacking off won't be accounted for by a certain gruff pegasus.
Although, against my better judgement, I decide to take a quick check back at the headquarters, since it seems to be a likely returning spot. The boss is nowhere in sight, thankfully, but neither is anypony else. They are all attending to their assigned routes, which I had so selfishly forced upon Parasol.
I consider asking around, but for a prudent pony like myself, it's not my best bet. Not only am I technically skipping my job, but the one responsibility I'd been given has escaped my grasp. My very loose, mindless grasp. If somepony would happen to slip about my whereabouts, the boss would show no mercy.
After having searched every nook and cranny of Cloudsdale, I give up my search in distress and begin wandering aimlessly among the clouds. There is nothing more I want to do. All of my priorities that had been set that morning had been cast aside in order to help one pony - a pony whom I thought I barely knew, but evidently knows me. I can't believe that I was so close to finding the pony that meant so much to me.
Returning to my senses, if only partially, I gaze around at the expansive blanket of white surrounding me. There seem to be no openings in the clouds below, as there had been just minutes ago.
That's odd, I think. There's not supposed to be weather duty until this afternoon. But, to my bewilderment, the entire area is quiet and still. The air hangs stiffly all around me, devoid of sound, and there's no sign of any weatherponies in the vicinity.
I shiver. The sudden solace I feel draws a significant amount of air from my lungs and replaces it with frigid breaths. I nervously darted my eyes in every direction, attempting to find something, anything, I could focus on, but to no avail. With each passing second, my heartbeat becomes louder and louder until the edges of my vision appear to be pulsing with black orbs.
Dear Celestia, not now! Not while I'm miles above the damn ground! There is no more up or down, and I am frighteningly unsure of whether I am still flying or not. I have never experienced one of my fits while aloft before, and this feels significantly different.
At this moment, there is nothing I want more than to destroy something. I want to hurt somepony. If no one came along, I know I'll end up hurting myself.
I don't know why I'm mad. My condition has never made any sense, not even to doctors. I would just slip into a fit of rage that lasted no more than a few minutes, though it seems like hours.
I want to be someplace safe, where I know exactly what is happening around me. Someplace full of ponies that I know, not this dizzying, empty space. Someplace warm. Someplace familiar.
It might be seconds later, or minutes, or hours, but I somehow find myself in such a place. Underneath me is something comfortable and soft, although less so than the clouds I had anticipating landing upon.
Having no sense to tell myself otherwise, I figure I am in my own home. Somepony must have brought me here after... after what? Did I fall? I don't remember being carried home by anypony. I don't even remember blacking out, for that matter.
I try to sit up, but swiftly regret doing so. As soon as I move, my head starts pounding harder than it ever has in my life. I try to groan, but nothing comes out.
Despite this, the rest of my body still feels intact. I can't open my eyes to be sure, since my eyelids feel like lead weights. I try to focus on what had happened in the last few minutes (or hours), but absolutely nothing is there. Had I actually fainted? Usually, my condition wears off and I feel completely normal afterwards, but this time I had felt myself slip away. Maybe it was because I was flying when it happened. Maybe too much physical activity caused me to wear out quicker, and I blacked out on the way down.
All these thoughts only seem to worsen the pounding in my head, so I simply ignore my curiosity for the time being and relax.
Okay. I'm at home, safe and sound, resting in my bed. I'm feeling perfectly normal now.
I keep telling myself this, and soon enough, I drift off to sleep once more.
The next time I awake, my nostrils are greeted with an unfamiliar scent. Actually, it was quite familiar, but not something I often smelled inside my own home. It's a toasty, sweet smell that could very well be coming straight from Sugarcube Corner. Cinnamon buns? Muffins? Either somepony had generously left me a scented candle, or there is somepony making use of my oven. In my house.
My head is no longer pounding, though it still has a slight ache, so I attempt to sit myself up. I crack open one of my eyelids, waiting for the blurriness to fade and for the room to come into focus. As soon as it do, I feel a pang in my chest. Both of my eyes shoot open.
This isn't my home.
In a slight panic, I look around the room for some indication of where I am. It seems to be a simple Ponyville-esque cottage, the walls adorned with floral patterns and several rounded windows. They glow with a lustrous orange, signifying that most of the day has passed. The object I had been resting on was not my bed, but an average sofa in what appears to be a living room.
I lean forward to stretch my wings, and in the process notice a book on the table beside me. A photo album, to be exact. Its pages are coming apart slightly, and it is open to the center. One picture had been taken out of it's sleeve and is lying near my end of the table.
Having not come completely to my senses, I wondere if I should take a peek at them. They could be somepony's personal memories that they'd forgotten to put away upon my arrival, or perhaps they'd been laid out just for me. Having nopony to tell me otherwise, I go with the latter.
Reaching forward uneasily, I pull the photo album closer to me, while subsequently pushing the lone picture onto the floor. The pages facing upward bring upon me a shallow wave of nostalgia, as I gaze at several pictures of fillies that I had known in flight school. It was exactly as I remembered it. A smile creeps over my face as I view the filly versions of some pegasi I currently know, and frown at the bullies I once did. Dizzy Twister, Rainbow Dash, Cloud Kicker... all enjoying their youthful days, as I languished mine.
I set the book down, then look at the photo which had fallen face-first to the floor. Thinking nothing of it, I scoop it up, preparing to slide it back into one of the pages. But, as I turn the picture over, I realize why that particular one had been set out.
In my hooves is something of which I thought I would never see again. Through all my years of searching for that one special being to whom I owed my life, there isn't a doubt in my mind that this is that same filly.
A yellow-coated pegasus filly with an aqua blue mane stands in front of the camera, with a smile of unbridled joy. Beside her, wielding a smile of similar proportion, is Derpy.
The scene is completely unfamiliar to me, and yet all I can do is stare. That warm feeling I used to get while thinking about her blurred persona was nothing compared to what I feel now. I hug the picture to my chest, hoping the memories would come back to me. But I know, unfortunately, that a photograph isn't enough to bring them back. I don't know what can.
I feel tears threatening to run down my cheeks, and my hold on the photograph grows stronger as I try to keep my composure.
"Oh, Rainy, thank goodness you're awake! Jee, you hit your head pretty hard earlier. You feel alright?" Quickly blinking my tears away, I look up at Derpy's troubled face in the doorway.
"Uh, yeah... my head still hurts a little, but I'm fine."
"Good." She grins. "I made you some cinnamon strudel muffins to make you feel better!" As she turns to leave, I quickly speak up.
"Wait, Derpy. I want to ask you something."
"Yeah?" she says, trotting toward me. I place the photo on the table next to the rest of them.
Still looking down, I ask, "Why do you have these out?"
"Well, earlier you mumbled something about us playing together in flight school. So I went to get these out to show you, but when I came back, you were asleep."
"Uh-huh... and, Derpy, you do remember this," I point to the picture of us together. "Right?"
"Oh, yeah! That was on the last day, when all the parents were taking pictures."
"We were best friends..."
"Um, yeah." I hear a slight waver in her voice. Looking up, I can tell she was still affected by my ignorance from earlier.
"I'm so sorry, Derpy. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't remember anything about our friendship. It's... it's like I wasn't even there through most of it. I thought seeing actual photographic proof would bring it all back, but... nothing." I look straight into her eyes. "Trust me, I want to remember. But I just... wait, what's the matter?"
Derpy starts to weep again, which makes me feel even worse than before. I can't stand to see her in this state, especially with me being the cause.
Just as I'm about to inquire further, the mare reaches out and pulls me into a tight embrace. It surprises me at first, but at the same time, a bit of relief comes over me. She isn't mad, and from what I can tell, her perception of me hasn't changed. I thought I had fought the tears away for good, but this time, they let themselves free.
"It's okay, Rainy. We can figure it out later."
That's all I wanted to hear.
We sit there for several minutes, being reunited after all these years. It makes me wonder why she hadn't said anything to me while we'd been working at the same business. Surely she would have known her best friend and said something.
Or... maybe she did. Maybe it would be forgotten by me later on. Eventually, perhaps, she gave up trying get through to me and carried on with her life.
But she did seem genuinely surprised earlier when she realized I had forgotten about us. If such a significant part of both of our lives had somehow erased itself from my memory... what else could have gone missing?
~Special thanks to Silverpup88 for prereading.
Author's Note
Edit: 01/16/14 - I know this is a couple years old, but the story WILL be continued. Just keep an eye out as I work through whatever life throws at me first.
