The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

Chapters

Episode 1 [Spike]: Please welcome to the show Spike the Dragon!
Episode 2 [Derpy]: The book
Episode 2 [Derpy]: Please welcome to the show Derpy Hooves
Episode 3 [Applejack]: The farm
Episode 4 [Ms. Cheerilee]: The classroom
Episode 4 [Ms. Cheerilee]: Please welcome to the show Ms. Cheerilee
Episode 5 [Octavia]: The Cellist
Episode 5 [Octavia]: Jon goes to a concert
Episode 5 [Octavia]: Please welcome to the show Octavia
Episode 6 [Zecora]: The question
Episode 6 [Zecora]: Please welcome to the show Zecora
Episode 7 [Mayor Mare]: The phone call
Episode 7 [Mayor Mare]: Please welcome to the show Mayor Mare
Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: The idea
Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: Jon goes on vacation
Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: Jon goes on vacation part 2
Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: Please welcome to the show Twlight Sparkle
Episode 9 [Trixie]: The Magician
Episode 9 [Trixie]: Please welcome to the show Trixie
Episode 9 [Trixie]: Here it is your moment of zen
Episode 10 [Vinyl Scratch]: The suggestion
Episode 10 [Vinyl Scratch]: Jon makes the reqeust
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: The rejection
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Trixie proves herself
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Jon's free falling adventure
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Rainbow Dash won't take no for an answer
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Twilight can keep a secret
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Honey I'm home
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Please welcome to the show Rainbow Dash
Episode 12 [Iron Will]: The dinner
Episode 12 [Iron Will]: Trixie joins a lovely dinner
Episode 12 [Iron Will]: Jon's simple request
Episode 12 [Iron Will]: Please welcome to the show Iron Will
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: A night on the town
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Let's paint the town red
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Welcome to Equestria Ms. McShane
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Kindness of strangers
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Table for two please
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Wasn't prepared for this.
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Pay back time
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Please welcome to the show Fancy Pants
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: A bad day to be Jon Stewart.
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Silver lining
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Unexpected visitor
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Do exactly as I say.
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Jon's secret weapon.
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: A battle plan
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: A battle plan 2
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Three minutes
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Three's a crowd
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Final confrontation.
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Someone help me!
Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Here it is your moment of zen
Episode 15 [Luna]: The aftermath
Episode 15 [Luna]: You shall not pass
Episode 15 [Luna]: Going up
Episode 15 [Luna]: The dark colored princess
Episode 15 [Luna]: Please welcome to the show Luna
Episode 15 [Luna]: Here it is your moment of zen
Episode 16 [Changeling]: The proposition.
Episode 16 [Changeling]: Bring me the DJ
Episode 16 [Changeling]: Round 2-- ding ding!
Episode 16 [Changeling]: Pygmalion or Ryne
Episode 16 [Changeling]: My terms
Episode 16 [Changeling]: Please welcome to the show Ryne, a Changeling
Episode 16 [Changeling]: Your moment of zen: Part 1
Episode 16 [Changeling]: Your moment of zen: Part 2
Episode 16 [Changeling]: (Bonus Chapter) Whatever happened to Ryne?
Episode 17 [Rarity]: The infiltration
Episode 17 [Rarity]: NO NOT AGAIN!!!
Episode 17 [Rarity]: Rarity's big chance
Episode 17 [Rarity]: Waiting room
Episode 17 [Rarity]: Jon's spa adventure
Episode 17 [Rarity]: Anywhere but here
Episode 17 [Rarity]: Jon can take no more
Episode 18 [Lyra & Bon Bon]: The mistake
Episode 18 [Lyra & Bon Bon]: Please welcome to the show Lyra & Bon Bon
Episode 18 [Lyra & Bon Bon]: Here it is your moment of zen
Episode 19 [CMC]: Border hoppers
Episode 19 [CMC]: Please welcome to the show the Cutie Mark Crusaders
Episode 19 [CMC]: Please welcome to the show Jon Stewart
Episode 20 [Discord]: The dream sequence
Episode 20 [Discord]: "Vacation" at the castle
Episode 20 [Discord]: Jon sneaks out
Episode 20 [Discord]: Please welcome to the show Discord
Episode 20 [Discord]: Here it is your moment of zen
Episode 21 [Fluttershy]: Lost phone
Episode 21 [Fluttershy]: Reunion
Episode 21 [Fluttershy]: Please welcome to the show Fluttershy
Episode 21 [Fluttershy]: Here it is your moment of zen
Celestia Interview (First draft)
Samantha Bee (first draft)
Jason Jones (Rough draft)
Jessica Williams 1 (Rough Draft)
Jessica Williams 2 (Rough Draft)
Jessica Williams 3 (Rough Draft)
Al Madrigal 1 (rough draft)
Al Madrigal 2 (rough draft)
Intro: The letter
Episode 3 [Applejack]: Please welcome to the show Applejack
Episode 10 [Vinyl Scratch]: Please welcome to the show Vinyl Scratch
Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Here it is your moment of zen
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Trolley ride for two
Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: I have to do what now?
Episode 16 [Changeling]: Here we go again
Episode 17 [Rarity]: Please welcome to the show Rarity
Episode 17 [Rarity]: Here it is your moment of zen

Episode 1 [Spike]: Please welcome to the show Spike the Dragon!

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Spike the Dragon (Spike)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

The sound of applause and cheering echoed through the busy set as the 'Daily Show logo' flew towards the viewer and went off screen. The camera began its descent to the center of the stage and eventually stops to reveal the host of the show, Jon Stewart, organizing his notes has he looks to the camera about to speak.

“Welcome back!" Jon said, trying his best to talk over the audience, "My guest tonight, he’s a resident of Ponyville and the personal assistant to Twilight Sparkle, please welcome to the show, Spike the Dragon. Spike!”

The audience applauded once again as a small purple dragon, with very noticeable green scales protruding up and down his head and back, emerges from backstage. He waved and smiled at the audience (Even blowing an occasional kiss) as he made his way to the center stage to greet Jon.

The two shook each other’s hand and Jon motioned for Spike to sit down only to see his guest awkwardly use the chair as a boost to get on top of the table (As even standing on the chair would have made it difficult for the cameras to see him.) Jon was half way through an attempt to help him up, but by then Spike already found his way atop the table, sitting comfortably in front of his ‘The Daily Show’ mug.

As the audience’s cheers and applause started to die down, Jon sat in his chair and faced Spike, ready to go.

“Welcome to the show Spike, it’s good to have you here," Jon said, "And may I say this…you’re a lot shorter than I expected.”

The audience chuckled at the opening joke causing Spike to do the same as he reached for his mug, but he did not drink from it. He wanted to retort, but his nervousness got the better of him as the host continued his jesting.

"When I was told I'd be interviewing a dragon, I just assumed..." Jon said, leaving his statement open in an attempt to let Spike say something.

Spike seemed to have picked up on this and responded quickly. Almost quickly enough that it looked like he interrupted the legendary comedian.

“Yeah, I uh- I get that a lot," Spike replied, "Oh! It’s great to be here Jon!”

Jon smiled at his guest's first official statement. He also noted that, based on his voice, he was probably quite young.

“Now before we get started, I just want to say that you, young man...," Jon said, while comically wagging his finger, "...you've caused quite a bit of a uh…hubbub, if you will, backstage.”

“Eh heh, yeah I guess you could say that." Spike said, while rubbing the back of his head, "I think your backstage manager hates me.”

“Okay, explain to me…w-what happened," Jon asked, "Because I’ve been up here all day and…just-" Spike's expression turned to that of guilt as he interrupted Jon with what happened.

“Well…I was in the back getting ready to go on stage and…well first let me start by saying, I’m staaarving!" Spike exclaimed, holding his stomach, "I was so nervous about coming on your show, I didn’t eat anything before arriving so-”

“But we gave you a gift basket of food in the uh…" Jon paused, snapping his fingers, "Dressing room. That was for you, man.”

“Oh I know, but the thing is…I didn’t recognize over half the stuff in there and I didn’t want to risk getting sick before going on stage.” Spike said, trying his best to sound responsible.

“So what- what happened then? What did you end up doing?" Jon replied anxiously, now more interested in what Spike had to say.

“Well", Spike said, nervously, "What happened was, your backstage manager, Ms. uh-”

“Ms. Jenson.” Jon interjected, doing his best to help the obviously nervous dragon along.

“Yes. Ms. Jenson came up to me to see what was wrong…and well," Spike said, trying to get the story right in his head, "She leaned over me and said, uh...she said: ‘Is there anything else I can get for you?’ And I noticed that she was wearing a necklace with a huge diamond on the end of it and-”

Once again Jon interrupted Spike. He was trying to go easy on his guest but his comedic sense of opportunity overpowered him.

“Really? That’s what you notice first?” Jon said raising an eyebrow. “A pretty woman leans over and all you can think is: ‘Mmmm mmmm! Look at dem diamonds!’”

The Audience laughed at Jon’s innuendo, which seemed to be somewhat lost on Spike.

"Please continue." He added.

“We-well you see, I’m not proud of what I did next," Spike said, "But when she leaned over, I uh…I took a bite of her necklace.”

The thought of a small dragon hanging onto one of his employee's jewelry caused Jon to chuckle.

“Really!?", Jon said, gleefully, "So that’s why she hates you?”

“Well no, not exactly," Spike replied, "You see…I apologized for what I did and she forgave me, buuut she didn’t appreciate what I said next.”

“Why?", Jon asked, "What did you say?” Spike tensed up as he continued his story.

“Well I apologized to her," Spike said, "And I said- uh I said: “I’m so sorry! Oh and by the way, no offense, but uh…that’s a total fake.’”

Unprepared by what Spike had said, Jon began to burst out in laughter as he swiveled in his chair trying his best to keep his composure, but to no avail. The audience laughed along with him while Spike took this momentary break in the interview to sip his mug of water for the first time, which he had to hold with both hands.

Spike, now hydrated, decided to take this opportunity to explain his actions as he was certain Jon had no idea of the intricacies of an Equestrian dragon.

"Yeah you see I-I sort of eat diamonds, as well as other kinds of gems.” Spike yelled, making sure Jon could hear him.

Catching his breath, Jon swiveled back to his previous spot just in time to retort on what Spike had just said, though still slightly laughing as he did.

“Why didn’t you just tell us? I mean we--" Jon paused, his laughing now coming to a stop. "There’s a ‘Jared’ down the street we could've picked you up something to go!”

At the time, Spike didn't know who or what “Jared” was, or if Jon was being serious, but nevertheless he played along and answered honestly.

“Well it’s my first time on the show," Spike replied, "Aaaand I…didn’t want to make a big fuss out of it.”

Jon laughed again (Though much less than before) at the thought and quickly changed his voice to that his trademark "condescending New Yorker".

“’Oh I see…so you won’t tell us what you can or cannot eat, but you’ll gladly eat our fucking jewelry." Jon said, with a higher than normal exaggeration. "Yeah...yeah, I see how it is!’”

Spike, at a loss for words, took another sip of his mug trying his best not to laugh at the host's comical voice.

Having gotten this far, Jon wanted to see what else he could get away with and decided to toy with his guest a little bit more.

“Well Spike it was nice having you on the show!” Jon announced, as he stood up and extended an arm towards the backstage only to quickly motion for Spike to sit back down less he actually believed the interview was over.

“But no really we’re glad to have you here today.” Jon added, sounding as sincere as possible.

“Heh,heh. Thanks Jon." Spike said, "glad to be here."

Spike prepared himself for another joke at his expense, ready to hold his ground, which is why he was all the more relieved to receive a soft question.

"So where are you from Spike?" Jon asked. Spike took a deep breath (Which given his small size very few noticed) and answered the question, now sounding more confident and relaxed.

"Well I was born in Canterlot, but I now live in Ponyville,'" Spike answered, turning to the audience with a sudden realization, "Oh uh...these are places in 'Equestria' my home country."

"Oh wait, just give me a second," Jon said, as he started to write in his notes, "'Ponyville'...'Canterlot'...'Equestria'...OK! got it!"

"Heh, yeah, I don't think you'll be able to find Equestria on your map." Spike said, turning to the image of the world map in the background.

"Most Americans can't even find Iraq on our map." Jon said. The Audience laughed with one attendee yelling out "Woo!" at one point.

“Uh, now like you said before, this is your first time here on the show, but," Jon said, pausing to make sure he had his facts straight, "You yourself are no stranger to being interviewed; am I correct?”

"That’s true, I have been interviewed before." Spike answered, sounding excited, "There was once a profile piece done on yours truly by a local Ponyville School newspaper.”

“Oh whoa that must have been exciting." Jon said, "So did the paper belong to some king of pony University or pony Community College?” Spike slightly tensed up.

“Weeell not exactly. The paper is called ‘The Free Foal Press,’ its run by the local grade school ponies.” Spike said. If Jon wasn't surprised that ponies had their own newspaper, he certainly was now that he learned little kids could have one.

“….Oh… I see. No, no, that’s great!" Jon said, trying salvage this line of questioning, "A couple of, uh, cute kids asking questions for their little paper, it’s adorable. Sure was nice of them to go to you.”

“Yeah it would have been," Spike said, with a guilty smile, "Had they actually ran the story.”

Jon felt a sensation of both pity and amusement as he leaned forward over his desk holding an outstretched hand to keep his balance and another over his face as he laughed. This sight caused Spike to do the same out of embarrassment.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Jon said, holding nothing back, "These kids get to interview a dragon and they don’t publish it!? I mean who- what other story did they have that could-”

Before he could finish Jon stopped and placed his clenched fist in front of his face, (As if to hold a microphone) and placed two fingers against his ear.

“’This just in," Jon said, trying his best to mimic the voice of a news reporter, "An outbreak of cooties on the playground leaves dozens infected and a recent poll shows that apple juice may increase in price by 12%'”

“Trust me I felt the same way!" Spike said, laughing at the thought of his friends back home watching him squirm on Television.

After a moment of laughter, between both themselves and the audience, the two once again engaged in their interview with Jon now more focused.

“So Spike…Oh and don’t worry we'll run this interview…So Spike, for those at home who don’t know who you are, could you explain just what exactly…it is you do?” Jon asked.

“Oh, well I don't like to brag," Spike said, untruthfully, "BUT for those who don’t know I’m the assistant to Twilight Sparkle back home in Ponyville.” Jon didn't know much about who Twilight Sparkle was, but he did know she was a very important figure.

“Twilight Sparkle being a local hero around your neck of the woods, am I correct?” Jon asked.

“Well yeah," Spike said, She-”.

“And not some kind of god-awful book series.” John added.

“No, no she’s- although if anyone would be a book it'd be her. But I guess you can say she’s a royal adviser to the princess." Spike said, trying again not to laugh, "She is something of hero back home. And it’s my job to assist her with her duties to our Princess. Princess Celestia.”

“So she’s your boss?” Jon asked.

“Well I guess, but I like to think we’re more of a family.” Spike replied, taking a sip of his water.

"Now what exactly has she done to earn her the title of 'hero'", Jon asked.

"Well its hard to explain," Spike said stroking his chin, "But put it this way: Whenever Ponyville, or any other place in Equestria, is in trouble, she's always there to set things right!"

“Hmm I see, how admirable. I'll have to ask her myself if I ever get the chance." Jon said, making a mental note.

Now…what kind of an assistant are you?" Jon continuted, "Do you: Get her coffee, take her phone calls, shine her horse shoes or-"

“No, no, no, nothing like that." Spike said, sounding somewhat defensive. "My main job is sending letters from Ponyville aaall the way to the princess at the request of Twilight, or sometimes her friends.” Jon recalled the letter he received the night before and took this opportunity to shed some light on how exactly it came into his possession.

“How do you do that exactly?" John asked, "Because I noticed, if you don’t mind me saying, you don’t have any wings, so how do you transport these letters from so far away?”

“Well you see…" Spike said, pausing to look around him, "…OH! I’ll give you an example, can I see that for a second?”

Spike reached for a piece of paper that Jon had previously used during other segments of the show that day. Jon obliged and handed him his notes, watching as Spike rolled them up and, with a quick breath, engulfed them in a flame of emerald green. In a few seconds, the notes had suddenly vanished. Not burned up in a cloud of ash, but simply vanished. This spectacle, much to the amusement of the audience, caused Jon to stare into open space where his notes had just disappeared.

“And just like that, your papers are in the hoofs of the princess herself, right now as we speak; instant royal mail!” Spike said, with a snap of his finger. While he sat there with a proud grin on his face, Jon continued to stare upwards eventually pointing in that direction.

"’I’ll be honest..." He said, looking somewhat worried, "...I really wish you hadn’t done that.” This time, Spike was the one who lost composure as he nearly fell over backwards laughing.

“You have noooo idea the kinds of things I write down on tho- I mean we-, "Jon said, in a slight panic, "We just had a segment about sex robots and now the princess is going to be reading it!?”

With Spike still laughing at himself for not thinking his plan all the way through, Jon seized the moment and put his hands in front him, in dainty manner, while doing his best to immediate the voice of Queen Elizabeth II.

“’Oh hellooooo, what do we have here?," Jon said, "Oooooo a letter from dear Spike, I wonder what it could- GOOD HEAVENS!’” Spike couldn't stop laughing.

“Don’t- don’t worry, the Princess is a very understanding pony." Spike said, trying his hardest to stop laughing, "I’m pretty sure I won’t get in trouble when I- when I go back home.” Jon waited for Spike to catch his breath before continuing.

“So when do you head back home?” Jon asked.

“Probably after the show," Spike answered, now more calm, "I don’t like to be too far away from my friends in Ponyville.”

“So about this ‘Ponyville.'" John intrigued, while making air quotes, "Am I to assume it’s filled with...ponies?” Spike raised his eyebrow at the obvious question and decided to give an obvious answer.

“"Uuh, for the most part yes, Jon.” Spike answered, unsure where he was going with this.

“Now having said that do you ever find yourself just…looking at your hands, maybe wiggle your fingers a little and think to yourself..." John pausing for emphasis, “Wow…I have such a genetic advantage over these people.’”

“Well no," Spike replied with a slight giggle, "But actually that’s one of the reasons why I’m in charge of writing those royal letters.”

“Oh really?” Jon said.

“Yes sir! Having fingers really makes it easy to take a letter every now and again.” Spike said, once again sounding proud of himself.

“Do you ever just rub that into someone’s face?” Jon said, as he leaned forward.

Spike laughed at the question and tried to answer but was too late as Jon continued.

“Do you ever just- like when you see someone walking down the street, give em one of these?” Jon asked, as he turned his chair to his audience giving them two very big “thumbs up” while putting on a toothy grin.

“Oh no, no, no" Spike said, waving his hands back and forth, "The residents of Ponyville have their own methods of doing things without the need for hands.”

“So none of them ever get jealous?” Jon asked.

“Hmmm not as often as you might thin- well there is this one pony," Spike answered, "Lyra. I think she might be.”

“How uh- how can you tell?” Jon asked, recognizing the name from the list.

“Well every now and again I catch her staring at me.” Spike answered. Having heard this, Jon puffed out his chest, adjusted his suit, and once again changed his voice. This time to that of a deep rough voice which could at best be described as "trying to sound manly."

“Well it sounds to me like this 'Lyra' has a thing for Ol’ Spike the Dragon.” Jon said. He was certain this would cause his guest to laugh again, but all it did was make the young dragon grin as if he knew something Jon did not.

“Oooh trust me, it’s not like that," Spike said, "She’s already spoken for.”

“Oh I see.” Jon said

“Plus I..." Spike said, rubbing the back of his head, "...I already have a thing for somepony else.”

Jon's eyebrows shot up as his keen sense of observation, which made him a master comic and host, alerted him of a possible new talking point. He leaned forward, now more interested; momentarily distracted by the audience's collective "D’aaaaw.”

“Reeaally?" Jon said, Who is she? What’s she like?”

“Well...she’s real pretty" Spike said, slightly blushing, "And she has the most amazing mane!” Jon could sense how nervous this made spike. But he could also sense the comedic potential in this line of questioning.

"Gooo ooon!” Jon said, placing both his hands under his chin as if to hold his head up.

“Well, she’s the most generous pony I’ve ever met!" Spike continuted, "But...I don’t think she likes me.”

“Why is that?” Jon asked?

“Well,” Spike said, "The thing is--"

“Did you try eating her necklace?” Jon asked, very straight faced.

“No, no, I would never do that!" Spike exclaimed, with a laugh, "It’s just- well I mean I know she likes me but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like that in that way.” Upon hearing this revelation Jon decided to give the little guy a break and back off the subject somewhat.

“Aaah," Jon said, nodding his head. "We’ve all been there.”

“Yeah, she spends most of her time working on her fashi- I mean…working." Spike said, in a panic, "She’s very good at what she does and she has such passion, which is also why I like her so much.”

“So she’s an active career woman?” Jon asked, disappointed he didn't get a name drop to see if he recognized it from the list.

“Something like that, yes.” Spike answered.

“Now- now, would you say your career, aside from being an assistant, is delivering all these letters around ponyville?” Jon asked in an attempt to get Spike to talk more about himself.

“Ye- Well no, actually, I don’t deliver letters for everypony in town." Spike answered, "I only deliver royal mail for Twilight, her friends, and the Princess.”

“Oh I see, sorry.” Jon said, scratching his head.

“Yeah we already have somepony whose job it is to deliver mail around Ponyville." Spike added, "Her name is Derpy, she’s our mailmare. Actually she’s a pretty big fan of yours.”

“Oh really!” Jon said, interested at the thought of a fan who was literally 'out of this world.'

“Yeah. You and your friend...uh, Colbert." Spike continued, "She watches your guys' shows every day.” Jon was pleased to hear this. He cleared his throat.

"Oh, well this Derpy person seems to have really good taste.” Jon said, adjusting his tie.

“Yeah she records both shows every day and watches them when she gets back home." Spike said, with a slight giggle, "She can never decide which one to watch first so she sets each show to a different TV and watches ‘The Daily Show’ with one eye and the ‘Colbert Report’ with the other.” This made Jon very confused.

“We- well" Jon said, at a lost for words, "Well you tell Derpy that she’s welcome on the show anytime. We’d love to have her.”

“Sure!" Spike said, enthusiastically. "No problem!” Just then a voice came from behind the stage. It was soft enough so the audience wouldn't hear it but loud enough for Jon to. It was the voice a staff member telling Jon time was running out.

“Also, I’m being told we’re running out of time and we need to go to commercial," Jon said, looking at the audience and back to Spike, "But listen, can you stick around for a few more minutes and we’ll throw the rest up on the web?”

“Sure, I’d love to!” Spike answered.

“OK, thanks a lot for being here I really appreciate it." Jon said, as he grabbed Spike's hand. "Spike the Dragon everyone! We’ll be right back.”

The crowd erupted in applause as the camera paned away from Jon shaking Spike’s hand and whispering something in his ear. The show's logo once again flew on screen and the program transitioned into it's final commercial.

Episode 2 [Derpy]: The book

With a heavy sigh Jon threw himself on his living room sofa, tossing his phone on the table in the process. His head was still spinning from the past 24 hours. It would be awhile before the final numbers came in but for the time being what he did know was his show was the most viewed program that day. "Comedic gold," "interview of the millennium," "best thing to happen to television." These were just some of the acclaims many professional reviewers were saying about the episode.

Jon had just finished taking the last of his phone calls. After his interview with Spike he was bombarded by calls and emails from newspapers, websites, and other TV shows begging for a quote or preview of what was to come next (To which even Jon didn't know). Shortly after, and even during, the interview fans were buzzing on Twitter, Facebook, and social forums about what they had witnessed. It had gotten so popular that when Jon (As a social experiment) typed his name in Google the first few suggestions were:

"Did you mean: Jon Stewart interviews Dragon?"

"Did you mean: Jon Stewart interviews Spike?"

"Did you mean: Jon Stewart Equestria?"

"Did you mean: Jon Stewart and the talking dragon?"

Reporters and fans aside, Jon was also getting the occasional call from family members and colleagues congratulating him on his impressive feat. Something that even he still had a hard time believing.

"A Dragon." Jon thought, laughing out loud. "I interviewed a God damned, dragon!"

Putting his feet on the table Jon placed both his hands over his face hiding his ever growing smile. He wondered if all of this was just some very realistic dream that, at any moment, he would wake up from with nothing to show for it.

To test this theory he leaned forward and grabbed the list he acquired from Princess Celestia. The list which contained the names of the many residents of Ponyville. He felt the papyrus in his hands, he saw the wrinkles in the pages, he could smell the distinct odor emanating from it, he heard it make noises every time he furled and unfurled it's pages, and he could taste the future possibilities.

Yep, this was very real and what Jon didn't know was it had only just begun.

As he continued to be lost in his own thoughts he realized that he hadn't spoken with Celestia since last night. He aimed to resolve this so he reached again for his phone, which was almost out of power. Before he could dial he noticed a fairly new text message that was unread. He must not have noticed it as not even a wild elephant couldn't break him away from his current daze. It was from none other than his good friend Stephen Colbert who (As a fellow host knew the importance of getting ready the night before) had simply said: "Saw the show. You were great!"

This made Jon smile as he made a quick, but heartfelt, response and continued to dial the number of the far way princess. Jon still needed to look at the princess' letter for reference as he hadn't saved her number in his contacts yet. Though in time he would be able to recite the number by heart.

After a few seconds of ringing, much like before, the same gentle voice once again greeted him.

"Hello Mr. Stewart," Celestia said from the other end of the line. "Its good to hear from you again."

"Likewise, your majesty.'" Jon said. "Also, like I said before please...call me 'Jon.'"

"Oh, my apologies," She said, sounding amused. "Very well but only if you call me 'Celestia.'" Jon felt somewhat awkward at the idea of addressing royalty with such a lack of formality but decided very quickly to just go along with it.

"Not a problem...Celestia." He said

"So what do I owe the pleasure of your calling me so soon?" She wondered.

"Well for starters I just wanted to thank you for loaning your dragon to me," Jon said, facetiously.

"Not a problem," Celestia said, with a giggle. "Spike had a wonderful time in New York, I do hope he wasn't too much of a handful."

"No not at all." He said. "As a matter a fact thanks to him our program saw a huge increase in viewership. He really made a big impact on the show. I guess you can say because of him our popularity really 'Spiked.'" As the words left his lips Jon felt utterly ashamed at such a transparently horrible joke. The princess however found it quite humorous.

"I'm so glad to hear!" She replied with a hearty laugh.

"Uh yeah, we haven't seen numbers this high since I got to interview Obama a few years back." Jon continued. "And even those pale in comparison to this."

"Hmm?" Celestia said. "I'm sorry, who is 'Obama.'" For a brief moment Jon was taken aback only realize that her question was a perfectly reasonable all things considered.

"Oh sorry that's right you're not from around here," Jon deduced. "Uh, I guess you can say he's the...'Princess Celestia' of our world."

"How fascinating!" She replied, sounding as genuine as always.

"Yeah, yeah, except instead of wings and a horn our guy has death drones and a seemingly endless supply of soldiers." He added, with a slight grin.

"Oh...I see." Celestia said, clearing her throat. "Now then I believe you had another reason for calling me." Jon was tempted to tease her some more but time was of the essence. It was time to get down to business.

"Yes actually, I wanted to talk to you about who I wanted to appear on my show for tomorrow." Jon said, holding the list of names in front of his face.

"Oh my," Celestia said. "So soon?"

"Well as I'm sure you know I do a show every day except for weekends," he explained. "And the fans really took a liking to my interview with Spike. So much so that they want more Equestrian interviews. I want to see if we can't make lightning strike twice."

"I see." Celestia said, impressed by Jon's tenacity. "Well Mr. St- Jon, I am very pleased to hear this and am more than happy to further assist you. So, have you decided on who you wish to interview next."

Ever since the overwhelming popularity of his last interview Jon had been wrestling with the same question over and over again in his mind: How am I going to top it? An interview with real life dragon wasn't going to be easy to beat. His next choice could go either way depending on how he handled it. Jon had an idea of who he wanted to interview next but to go any further he needed some background information first.

Celestia's voice, checking to see if Jon was still on the line, woke him up from his deep thought and he begun to speak again, picking his words carefully.

"Well I do have an idea but before I make my decision I want to ask you something, but you have to promise me you get offended" Jon said cautiously. This really got Celestia's attention.

"I shall do my best." Celestia said, truthfully.

"Well I've been thinking," Jon said, debating in his head if he should continue. "Do you guys in Equestria...have books?" To his relief his question wasn't met with hostility or malice but instead by a fit of laughter.

"Why Jon, of course we do!" She answered. "What a silly thing to ask." Jon wanted to respond by asking how then do people in Equestria hold them in their fingerless hooves but decided not to press his luck.

"Sorry," Jon said now embarrassed. "I'm still getting used to this alternate world of multi-colored talking animals thing."

"That's quite alright," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Why the sudden interest in pony literature?"

"Well as you may or may not know, whenever I get the chance, I like to interview people who've just published a book." Jon answered, informatively. "It's actually one of my favorite kinds of interviews because on the one hand the person I'm interviewing gets time on the air to promote their book, and on the other hand I get to make fun of them for writing such a terrible book. It's a win win. So, I was I was wondering if anyone on the list is a published author."

"I see...how efficient. Give me a moment to think about this," Celestia said, tapping her hoof against the floor in thought. "While I do know some ponies whose special talent is writing I'm afraid none of them are present on the list I provided." For a very brief moment Jon found it odd that she used the phrase 'special talent' but quickly dismissed it as mere colorful euphemisms.

"Well writing books doesn't have to their career." Jon added, not ready to give up on his plan. "It could just be some average Joe who wrote a book just for the heck of it. Those are usually the funniest ones."

"Yes well still I don't thin- Oh!" Celestia said, with a sudden realization. "Actually there is somepony on the list who wrote her own book not too long ago."

"Oh that's great!" Jon replied, now literally on the edge of his seat. "Who is she."

"Actually this is quite the coincidence," Celestia continued, amused by the circumstances at hand. "Because as I recall you've technically already invited her on your show."

"I have?" Jon wondered aloud.

"Indeed you have, Jon." she replied. "Does the name 'Derpy' ring a bell?"

Episode 2 [Derpy]: Please welcome to the show Derpy Hooves

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Derpy Hooves (Derpy)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

With the success of his last interview the 'Daily show's' audience attendance had filled up in record time! Producers were even thinking of expanding the set to fit more guests. As the show returned from another commercial break the audience began to cheer and holler with excitement for they knew what was next. The interview segment.

"Welcome back to the program, we have a very special guest tonight!" Jon said, briefly pausing to let the audience's cheers die down. "She's the premiere mailmare for Ponyville and other parts of Equestria, her new book is called '50 shades of muffins: How a simple food product can change your life.' Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the show, Derpy!"

Both the audience and Jon stood up to applaud their guest who slowly made her way onto the stage. She was a grey colored Pegasus with light blonde hair and her cutie mark (Something that Jon has yet to learn about) depicted 7 bubbles. Her most notable feature however was her eyes which seemed be looking in every direction but in front of her.

At this point in his life Jon had never witnessed a pony fly before, but even he could infer from her flying patterns that something was off. Derpy, instead of simply flying straight to the desk, flew lazily from side to side at different altitudes almost as if she was intoxicated and her legs danged carelessly instead of being used for balance. This was made all the more awkward by a large satchel bag worn around her neck which seemed to be weighing her down like an anchor. All the while adorning a ditzy looking smile which she will have worn for most of the upcoming interview.

After a while she started to fly slightly off course and looked to be heading straight into the cameraman. Jon took no chances and met the wayward Pegasus halfway. He shook her hoof, much to her joy, and placed an arm around her shoulder to guide her to the appropriate location. Soon the two sat down, with Jon looking at Derpy and Derpy looking everywhere but Jon.

"Glad to have you on the show Derpy," Jon began, "N-now tell me...is Derpy your real name? I mean do you have a last name or are you like Cher with the one?" Derpy responded with a slight laugh, though she didn't know what was so funny.

"Oh no Jon, my name is Derpy Hooves!" She said, throwing her hooves in the air.

"Derpy...'Hooves'?" Jon said quizzically, noting that her rate of speech was slightly 'off'. "That's your name?"

"It sure is!" She said in excitement, as she scratched the back of her ear with her hind leg messing up her already messed up hair. Jon began to wonder if the term 'special guest' was more applicable than he had thought.

"Well it's a pleasure to have you on the show Derpy Hooves." He said, once again shaking the young Pony's hoof. "My name is Jon Feet." This caused Derpy to once again laugh but again she laughed for the wrong reason.

"Oh Jon, that's not your name!" She said, shaking her head. "Your name is Jon Stewart...you're such a silly!"

"I guess I am." Jon said proudly, brushing away the imaginary dust on his shoulders. "I guess that's why they gave me this gig...speaking of which I hear you're a big fan of the show."

"I sure am!" Derpy exclaimed, her wings now standing on end. "I watch your show everyday! I even made my own stage and desk and pretend to talk to an audience... like you!"

Jon felt flattered at his guest's wanting to be like him.

"Well uh... if I've never in the neighborhood maybe I'll drop by as a guest of yours." Jon offered which made Derpy's wings spring up in excitement. Quickly she reeled herself back and tried to put on a serious face.

"Weeeell my schedule is quite busy," she began as she fished out a notebook and began to browse through it, each page clearly blank. "Buuut I'm sure I can pencil you in!"

The audience (As well as Jon to a lesser degree) laughed at her attempt to sound professional. They were slowly falling in love with her.

"You know I uh- I gotta ask," he said, waving his hand in a circular motion. "You say you watch the show all the time but... uh, you are from a different world entirely. Do you ever get confused at some of things that...that we talk about." Derpy fell silent for a moment, her eyes occasionally changing positions.

"Most of the time yes, but some of the things you say are just so darn funny I...I just can't help but watch!" She said holding back a laugh. "Like how you used to make fun of that Bush fellow." It took Jon but only a moment to realize what she was talking about.

"You mean our former president George Bush?" He asked.

"Yeah yeah!" Derpy said. "I used to loooove that!" Before Jon could comment on his guest's last statement, Derpy (Who inadvertently dated her self quite a bit) continued by squinting her wall-eyes as she placed both her hooves in front of her.

"'I...am the decider!'" She said, in a low southern sounding voice. "'Heh, heh, heh.'" The crowd erupted in applause at what they had just seen. The sight of a cross-eyed Pegasus doing an impersonation of Jon doing an impersonation of George W. Bush was all the proof he needed that this guest was about to steal the show. Jon waited for the audience to calm down before speaking again.

"So...so what part of the show would you say if your favorite?" Jon asked.

"Hmmm, well let's see...OH! I know I know!" Derpy said, eagerly waiting in her seat like a 747 waiting for permission to take off. Jon's motioned for her to continue and she did.

"I really like it whenever John Oliver is on!" She said, closing her eyes with a slight blush. "I think he's such a cutie!" Jon took this opportunity to poke fun at both Derpy and Oliver.

"Ooooo sorry Derpy,' he cooed, with an obviously forced expression. "I don't mean to break your heart but I don't think Jon would be interes- although he is English so I suppose if anyone would be willing to fuck a horse it'd be him."

The audience laughed with a few of them shouting "Woo!" in a sexual manner, to which Jon had to point out and insist they calm down. Derpy however was once again oblivious to what was going on, though it didn't seem to bother her in the slightest.

"Wha-what I'm saying here is I think you have a chance." Jon added, much to the amusement of the audience.

"So being the uh...Mailmare for an entire town," Jon said. "That must be a lot of hard work.'

"It sure is!" She replied. "But it's also a lot of fun! I get to meet all kinds of interesting people and they don't mind when I mess up too bad."

"What do you mean by 'mess up too bad.'" He asked, feeling somewhat worried.

"Well like sometimes I deliver the wrong letter to the wrong person," she said. "And sometimes instead of putting someones mail in their mailbox I accidentally put it in their chimney or in the gutter." Jon wanted to laugh at her joke but something told him that she wasn't joking at all.

"And this one time somepony mailed some other pony a package and it was ticking," she continued. "But I lost it on my way there so it never got delivered."

"That's...very interesting." Jon said, with a look of concern on his face. "Tell me...how did you get to be the Mailmare again?"

"Oh that's easy," she said. "No pony else wanted to do it. So I volunteered."

"Wait...so if no one else ever wanted to do this job, then, I mean- who's covering your rounds right now?"

"No pony is," Derpy replied, lifting her large satchel bag onto the desk. "I'm supposed to be delivering the mail right now, but I'm sure no pony will mind if take some time off to be here. The audience laughed as Jon buried his face in his hands. He tried to quickly change the subject.

"So, Derpy," he continued looking around as if a new topic would fall in his lap. "You...you're the first pony I've ever had on the show! This is...that's quite milestone. But I've met with your princess and I've noticed you two have very different characteristics."

"We do?" Derpy responded.

"Yes uh, yes you do. For one she's a lot bigger than you, and Celestia if you're watching that wasn't a fat joke." Jon announced, pointing at a camera. "But what I find...interesting is she has both wings and a horn."

"She does!" Derpy responded, much to the confusion of Jon who wondered if she had any idea what her leader looks like? "Oh wow she's so lucky! I wish I had horns and wings."

Now Jon went from being confused to being perplexed.

"B-but Derpy you do have wings." Jon said, pointing to her back. Derpy, looking somewhat lost now, arched herself to look over her shoulder. She flapped her wings a few times to be sure they were hers, unintentionally slapping herself across the face in the process.

"Oh yeah, I guess I do," She said, looking embarrassed. "I guess I forgot." Jon shook his head and tried to not laugh at his guest.

"I-I know exactly how you feel," Jon retorted, straightening out his notes. "Sometimes I myself forget how to eat and I find myself just staring at my breakfast till it all comes back to me." Derpy's mouth hanged open in astonishment.

"YOU TOO?!" She responded, with a gasp. Jon could hold back his laughter no more.

He didn't know if this was all just an act or if his new feathered friend really was this daft. Either way he found it impossible to not like her. After he found his breath he continued to question her.

"So hey you have a book out don't ya!" He said, fighting off the occasional left over chuckle.

"I sure do!" She replied. "It's called: "50 shades of muffins," I made it all by myself! It's my favorite book ever!" Had it been any other guest, Jon would've considered them to be very conceited for choosing their own work as their favorite book. But this wasn't any other quest; with Derpy he saw nothing but pure innocence in her crooked eyes.

"What's your favorite book, Jon?" Derpy asked getting somewhat off topic.

"Oh, mine? I would have to saaaay...probably 'Where's Waldo,'" Jon said, nodding. He noticed the confusion on her face he decided to elaborate. "It's a children's book where you find a popular character whose always hiding in the background. But I'm sure you know nothing about that."

"Sounds like fun!" Derpy said, clapping her hooves together.

"Oh it is, but for now I really want to talk about your book," Jon said, puling out a massive book from under his desk. "Now this, from what I can gather is a cookbook, am I right."

"That is correct!" She said, with a proud look on her face.

"Now...my wife- my wife has a cook book or two and each of them probably mentions muffins once or twice but this," Jon said, lightly tossing the book on the desk with a large audible thud. "This is a cookbook only about muffins. It's enormous, and thick enough to beat sharks to death with. I mean what gives?

"Well Jon," Derpy said, sounding like she could be serious. "I LOVE muffins!" Jon gave her a look as if to say 'no really,' but opted to not say anything as this was the first time she'd said anything regarding her book.

"I love them sooo much that I just want the whole world to feel what I feel," she continued. "I want to bring awareness to all the different kinds of muffins there are in the world."

"No kidding," Jon interjected, turning to a page after page in her book. "I mean look at what we have here: 'Blueberry muffins,' 'hazelnut muffins,' 'apple muffins,' 'chocolate muffins,' 'upside down muffins,' 'super muffins,' 'dark world muffins' ...you even have something called the 'muffin muffins.'"

"Oh that one's my favorite!" Derpy said with a huge smile. "It's a muffin made from other muffins!"

"Now...your book also says, 'How a simple food product can change your life,'" Jon stated, pointing at the cover. "How is this possible? Are the muffins prepared with...some kind of uh special magic that can enrich a person's life...or something like that?" In time Jon would look back at these interviews and revel at how he would mention 'magic' so casually.

"Nope." Derpy said, pausing for a moment. "They just taste really yummy." Jon wanted to comment but suddenly a look of realization found its way onto Derpy's face as she placed both her hooves over her mouth.

"OH I ALMOST FORGOT!" She said. "I have something for you, Jooooon." He could only speculate as to what the young Pegasus was talking about.

"Oh really?" he said. "What is it?" Derpy motioned for Jon to stay where he was as she buried her head completely in her satchel bag, irresponsibly spilling sealed letters on the ground in the process. When she emerged she had a lone muffin clenched in her smiling mouth. She placed the muffin in the table and pushed it closer to him.

"This is for you!" She said, proudly. "It's an extra special muffin for an extra special person!" Jon couldn't help but smile at the kindness of this pony who he had only known for a few minutes. Before Jon could thank her she spoke again.

"Go ahead, try it!" She said, with immense excitement. He took the muffin in his hand and turned to the audience to get their take of what he should do; knowing full well what their answer would be.

"What do you think?" He asked them. "Should I try it?" His question was met by a wave of support in the form of cheering, clapping, and a small chant of "EAT IT, EAT IT, EAT IT!" Jon eventually took a bite causing the audience, and even Derpy, to clap with elation.

"Not bad," he said, his mouth full as he placed it back down on the table. "I like it!" His compliment caused Derpy to flap her wings furiously with glee.

"Oh I'm so glad to like it!" She said. I was up all night making it juuuuust right!" Jon took a moment to swallow the last bit of muffin in his mouth and wiped his desk of any loose crumbs before continuing.

"So...so why do you like muffins so much," Jon asked, wiping his hands together. "I mean...don't get me wrong I enjoy a good muffin every now and then but it almost seems like you're...obsessed." Derpy didn't say anything at first, she just stared in no particular direction. If she was thinking about what to say next it was completely evident to Jon.

"Weeell I'll tell you why," Derpy said. "But you have to promise to keep it a secret." Jon slowly turned his head to the direction of the cameras and audience who responded him with a slight chuckle. He agreed and she continued.

"Well you see, Jon...you may not notice this but my eyes are kind of crooked." She said with a whisper, unaware of how fruitless it was with the microphone attached to her ear.

"I honestly hadn't notice." He responded with a straight face.

"Well they are," She said. "And when I was a little filly some of the other kids would make fun of me for it..." As she continued Jon could sense a heart felt story on its way. He had no idea.

"...And when they did it would make me very sad and I would sometimes cry," She continued. "But, my mother always always knew how to cheer me up! She would bake a big ol' batch of muffins for me. This always made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!" The audience as well as Jon dared not make a noise as she went on.

"Sadly though, a few years ago she passed away. But whenever I eat a muffin I still feel that same warm and fuzzy feeling as if she's still here with me." She said, not showing a hint of sadness or animosity. Just the same quirky smile she had the rest of the interview. "That's why I made this cookbook! So that people all over the world can feel the same happiness that I do!"

It took Jon a moment to respond, as he wanted to make sure his next words were appropriate.

"Whoa, that was very beautiful." He finally said. "Thank you for sharing. It sounds like she was a very...very loving person." Derpy looked at Jon, her expression changed to that of confusion.

"Who was?" She asked, tilting her head to one side. Jon soon had a look of confusion on his face which neatly mirrored Derpy's.

"Y-your mother." He responded.

"What about my mother." She replied slightly furrowing her brow.

"Oh n-n-no I was just saying, you know based on what you- I was just saying how your mom seemed very..." Jon stumbled to try and make sense of what was going on, but was only met with more confused looks from his guest. "...Derpy have you already forgotten what you just told me.

"Oh...I guess I did," Derpy said, guiltily rubbing the back of her head. "My bad."

Before she could even attempt to recall what happened, and situate herself accordingly, her wandering eyes noticed the muffin that she herself had given Jon on the table. She lunged forward, almost as if she was about to tackle Jon, her eyes big and her wings flapping freely.

"OOOOO A MUFFIN!" She exclaimed, now looking at Jon. "Hey are you gonna finish that!?" Jon threw both his arms in the air, surrendering to Derpy's advances.

"You know what, Derpy?" He said, with a large smile on his face. "You go right ahead." Within an instant, as the audience cheered her on, Derpy flung herself onto the table devouring the muffin withing seconds. Getting crumbs all over her face, mane, and Jon's suit. When she was done she looked up at him, with only one eye actually looking in his direction.

"I love muffins!" She said, with the same smile she had for most of the interview.

"I know you do." Jon said, lovingly patting her on the head.

"Thank you being here today Derpy you were fantastic." Jon said, turning to the audience. "Her new book, 50 shades of muffins, is on the book shel-" Before he could finish his outro Derpy began violently waving her hands back and forth in an overambitious attempt to get his attention.

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, JON!" She said, now slightly hovering over him.

"Before we go can I make a quick shout out to somepony?!" Jon didn't have the heart to say no. He agreed and Derpy flew slightly higher and looked at one of the cameras (Though due to her eye sight, she was looking slightly off from where it actually was).

"HI DINKY!" She yelled. "LOOK I'M ON TV! MAMA LOVES YOU!"

Jon playfully sighed and stood up from his chair.

"It been great having you on the show, today." Jon said with an honest smile. "Her new book is called 50 shades of muffins, its on the book shelves now. Derpy Hooves, everyone! We'll be right back."

The audience, who as this point were cheering well before Jon's sign off, begun chanting Derpy's name as the camera paned away from Jon trying, and failing, to get the excited Pegasus to come down. Soon afterwards the show transitioned to it's last commercial ending another episode of "The Daily show with Jon Stewart."

Episode 3 [Applejack]: The farm

It had been a few days since Jon had an Equestrian citizen on his show. Not because people had stopped watching them, quite the opposite; after the interview with Derpy the world was once again in a state of Insatiability.

The reason why Jon hadn't invited another person from Equestria on his show was because he had his hands full dealing with the backlash of unleashing the loveable Derpy on the world. Much like before people from all walks of life were in a frenzy about the interview but unlike before a majority of the attention wasn't on Jon or the 'Daily Show' (Though they were getting still holding the number one spot in the ratings) but on Derpy herself. Shortly after the interview the world had fallen in love her and she became a house hold name in less than a day.

Comedy Central, seeing the opportunity in this, offered to act as publishers for Derpy's and sold copies of her cook book on their website. On average it took less than 20 minutes for her book to be sold out and this occurred everyday at regular intervals. Jon himself was busy contacting Derpy and relaying messages, essentially acting as the "Go-to person" for both parties, mostly due to the fact that he was the only one on earth with direct contact to her or her world.

Jon also had to deal with countless people requesting to meet with her and others requesting her appearance on whatever given show. Jon had to turn them all away. The official reason was because Celestia didn't like the idea of anyone other than Jon doing business with her subjects. The unofficial reason, which Jon provided to the public via a press release, was that she needed to go back home to fulfill her civil duties as a the mailmare.

What all this meant was he had very little time to think about "Equestrian interviews," so to fill the gap he did his show normally but when it came time for the interview segment, much to the disappointment of many fans, Jon talked with a lower profile individual that he had lined up months ago as filler. This only made the fans wanting for "Equestrian interviews" even greater as displayed by their constant sending of letters, videos, tweets, and many forms of messages. All varying differently in style but all with the same message. We want more!

It was now Saturday night and Jon had managed to (Very easily) convince the executives back at the station to move some programs around for a special Sunday edition of 'The Daily Show.' He wanted to give the fans what they wanted.

The two free days he had leading up to Sunday were used by Jon responsibly. He made phone calls to Celestia only asking for information on some people on the list for future reference. He even got the chance to send the occasional letter or phone call, via Celestia, to various Equestrian citizens requesting their appearance on the show at a later date. This way Jon could set up appearances ahead of time making scheduling much simpler. And, if need be, have a filler or two for any last minute hiccups.

But for now Jon had only one thing on his mind. Who was going to appear as a guest on the special Sunday edition of the show?

"I can't just have anyone on for tomorrow," Jon thought. "Whoever this person is he or she needs to be big." Jon at one point even thought about asking Celestia herself to appear on the show but with further thought decided that it wouldn't be the best idea...at least not right now.

Jon was now sitting atop his desk in his study staring at the list of names Celestia had given him and there at the very top was the same selection of names in bold text. Jon had previously deduced that these names belonged to some very important people of Equestria; partly because they were at the top and in bold but also because among those names was the princess Celestia's as well.

However six of the names were also grouped together in a bracket with the title "E.O.H." These names in order were: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack. Jon recognized the fist name from his interview with Spike but the other five were a mystery to him. Jon had been doing this for many years and experience had taught him that if you have a high profile celebrity willing to appear on your show you save it for a rainy day. This of course being one of them.

One name however jumped out at him and just as well it was the one located at the bottom of the bracket.

Looking back Jon liked to think he picked this particular name because of the context of the character associated with it. That the person who this name belonged to was someone of utmost importance to the pony community and that she deserved the attention and resulting glory that came with it. But in reality he chose this this particular name simply because it sounded the funniest to him. Applejack...what a silly name.

A few quick dials on his phone later and Jon was once again talking with Celestia, and for the first time he knew exactly who he wanted before hand.

"Greetings, Jon. Its nice to hear from you again," Celestia said without falter. "Do you wish for me to bestow on you more information on somepony?"

"Actually I"m scheduled to go on the air tomorrow," Jon responded. "And I want to talk to you about having someone on that show for an interview."

"Oh that's wonderful." She said kindheartedly, "I was wondering when you would ask again. Though isn't tomorrow a Sunday?"

"Exactly," Jon said, "I managed to get the higher-ups to schedule a show tomorrow. A special occasion like this demands a special guest." Celestia couldn't have agreed more.

"Yes I can certainly see where your coming from." She responded, nodding her head. "I don't suppose you already have someone in mind?" Jon sat up in his chair as if ready to get up at any moment.

"Actually I do," he said, surprising Celestia somewhat. "Tell me, what do you know about...Applejack." She took a second to respond.

"Ahhh Applejack," she responded, sounding as if she was remembering a long lost friend. "If that's who you wish to have on your show next then I must say its a wise choice. I'm certain you'll learn all you need to know during your interview with her but for now I'll say this...she is without a doubt that most honest pony you'll ever meet."

The answering was short and simple, but good enough for Jon.

"Well alright then!" Jon said, sounding like a champion about to defend his title. "Lets set this up!"

"Certainly," Celestia said with a level of excitement much less than Jon's. "After we're done talking I'll summon her to the palace to address the issue. I'm certain that she-"

"Actually," he interrupted, feeling somewhat nervous that he did. "If its all the same with you I want to ask her myself...in person."

"Is that so?" Celestia said, sounding surprised. "Well this is certainly new of you." Jon was still a little uncomfortable with someone of royalty being his personal middle-man, (Lord knows he knew the feeling between Derpy and his studio) but this wasn't why he offered to ask himself. In this particular instance he felt a more direct approach was in order.

"Hey now, I get my own coffee ever now and again," Jon replied jokingly. "But really, I just figured that with someone like this a face to face meeting would be appropriate...that is if she's as important as she seems to be." Celestia found herself humbled by Jon's sense of reverence for the situation.

"I see, how very honorable of you," She said, sounding pleased. "I knew I picked the right person to do this." Jon couldn't help but feel flattered. It wasn't everyday that he was praised by royalty.

"Now then," Celestia continued, readying her horn. "Shall I transport you to her."

"Wait!" He said desperately. "Give me a few minutes." Celestia agreed and Jon put her on hold as he dashed over to his closet.

The last time Jon visited Equestria was the night he got the list of names and the letter explaining what to do with it. That night, in an effort to prove she was real, Celestia teleported him to her royal palace where he had the ill fortune of conducting business with her for the first time in his pajamas.

Jon wasn't going to make the same mistake again. If he was going back to Equestria, on business no less, he was going to do it right.

It took him about fifteen minutes but he eventually adorned himself in a neat black suit, complete with: clean pressed pants, matching jacket, and a tie which (According the collective opinions of his female co-workers) really brought out the color in his eyes. In addition his hair was neatly done, though it was no where near as good as when he was on stage thanks in part to his hair dresser. But for now it would have to do; he was ready.

"Alright, fire away!" He said to Celestia, this time remembering to stand up straight and keep his eyes closed. Celestia acknowledged him and begun to cast her spell. For a moment Jon wondered if he was still in his study but before he could open his eyes to check a light surrounded him so bright that he noticed it through his tightly shut eyelids.

Soon his other senses picked up on telltale signs that he wasn't in his home anymore. The ground beneath his feet felt different, his nose picked up on the smell of wilderness all around him and the beating sun combined with the occasional gust of wind told him he wasn't indoors.

"Where the hell am I now?" Jon thought as he slowly opened his eyes. Back in New York it was still dark but wherever he was now it was bright as could be. Jon squinted and shielded his eyes like he had just emerged from a dark movie theater.

As his eyes adjusted he quickly realized where he was much to his dismay. The last time he was in Equestria he was in the royal chambers of a princess and while this new location was just as surreal it couldn't be any more different. He was on a farm...a chicken coop having, barn yard adjacent, cow pie infested, honest to good farm.

"Well...at least I'm not under dressed." Jon thought with a grimace as a gust of wind blew some dirt onto his pants and dress shoes.

To his right Jon could see an enormous acre of evergreen trees that seemed to go for miles; Jon couldn't see very far inside as it got very dark very fast. To his left he saw a hill with many apple trees just behind it. In front of him was a few buildings which Jon prayed housed some forms of life.

Jon was more accustomed to city life than the country side but even someone like him could tell how this was no ordinary farm. For starters the surrounds and texture of damn near everything was much more vibrant than what one would expect and, like everything else associated with this world, none of it looked real.

With a deep sigh Jon made his way to the nearest building walking gingerly across the terrain as if it were infested with land mines. He was about half way there before a voice seized his attention.

"Who in the hay are you?" A soft voice said from behind.

Jon carefully turned around to see a small yellow Earthpony with red hair and a large pink bow on her head. The young filly was looking up at him with large eyes and much to Jon's surprise she did not have wings or a horn. Her voice, and noticeably small height, told him that whoever this pony was she was but a mere child.

"Uh...hey." Jon said, mentally adjusting himself to talk appropriately. "My name is Jon...um, where am I?" The young pony gave a large smile and answered with a burst of enthusiasm that only a child could give for something as simple as a greeting.

"Well howdy Jon! It's a pleasure to meet you! " The young filly said, extending her hoof towards the buildings behind him. "This here is Sweet apple Acres!" Jon noted that since the this pony knew the farm's name and was already in the area she most likely lived here. Could this be his new guest?

"Sweet apple acres huh? Would've been nice to know that a head of time." He grumbed, only to remember why he was here in the first place. "Oh, uh say...are you Applejack."

"Heck no," she said with a laugh. "I'm Applebloom!" Jon wondered if the recurring theme of apples was somehow related or just coincidence.

"Oh I see. Do you know Applejack?" Jon asked.

"Well of course I do! Everypony knows Applejack!" She said with a proud look on her face. "She's mah sister!"

Before Jon could ask where he could find his potential guest the young Earthpony began to speak again. It was now her turn to start asking the questions.

"What are ya anyway?" Applebloom said.

"Um excuse me?" Jon replied.

"What are ya?" She repeated louder, now circling Jon like a shark. "You sure aint no pony I've ever seen."

"I'm not a pony," he said. "I'm a human."

"A human? Whats that?" She asked as she continued to observe him.

"Uh...It's...what I am." Jon said, unsure of how to go about answering such a question. "Uh, but listen I really need to--"

"Where you from, Jonny?" Applebloom interrupted.

"Oh well I'm from New York?" He responded, suddenly feeling like he was under a microscope. "But that's not imp--"

"New York?" Applebloom said, looking confused. "Where's that?"

"Uuum... its that way." Jon said, pointing in a random direction. "Now could you please tell me wh--"

"What do you do in New York?" She asked. Jon was started to get annoyed.

"I have my own television show," he said. "But listen please I really need to speak with--"

"Wait a minute!" Applebloom interrupted, "You have your own T.V. show!? Are you Jon Stewart?!" Jon's frustration now gave way to a sense of bewilderment.

"Uh yes- yes I am. I host 'The Daily Show." Jon said. The mere mention of the show seemed to resonate with the young Earthpony as her face lit up in excitement.

"Do...do you watch the show?" Jon said, secretly hoping that she didn't. He didn't have any puritanical hang-ups on children watching his show. (He himself could recall a time in his life where he would sneak a peek at a nudey magazine at a local drug store when his mother wasn't looking, its just what kids do.) But seeing one in person would've be somewhat awkward.

"No I don't." She replied, looking rather disappointing. "The older ponies won't let us fillys watch it...t'ain't fair." Jon found it interesting, though not surprising, that forms of censorship existed in this world as well.

Applebloom fell silent for a moment as she continued to display her disapproval by kicking at the ground. Jon took this moment of silence to ask her the question he wanted to ask in the first place.

"Listen Appleboom," he said, "Do you know where your sister is right now?" She looked back up at Jon, her expression back to looking cheerful.

"Why sure I do! She's right over that clearing gathering apples." She said, pointing in the direction of the apple trees.

"Why do ya wanna know? Is she in some kind of--" Before she could finish her sentence a sense of realization swept over her face as her jaw dropped. She spread all four of her legs slightly apart in a stance as if she was bracing herself for a head on collision with a wild bull.

"WAIT A SECOND!" Applebloom blurted excitedly. "Are you fixin to invite mah sister on your fancy pants show!?" Jon had found his opening.

"Yep! You got me!" Jon said with a smile, as he lowered himself closer to her level. "Now, would you be a sweetheart and go get her for me?"

"I sure can, Jonny!" She said as she bolted off towards the hill so quickly she almost tripped over her own hoof.

As Jon waited for her inevitable return he continued to walk over to the nearest building where he found a rocking chair on a porch to sit on. For a brief moment he felt strangely at ease as he let himself rock back and forth. Maybe it was fresh air, or the fact that he was so far away from the hustle and bustle of the big city, but he felt a sense of relaxation he hadn't felt in a while.

His brief moment of isolation was soon interrupted by the familiar voice of Applebloom shouting nearby.

"JONNY, JONNY!" She said. "WHERE ARE YA!?" The angle of the house meant that she couldn't see him, not without venturing further in. Before he could respond another voice was heard, this one much older sounding and whoever it was she was talking to young Applebloom.

"Now, sugar cube," the other voice said. "What have I told you l about fibbin'?"

"But, sis," Applebloom pleaded. "He was right here, I swear!"

"Sure he was," the other voice said in jest. "Now why don't y'all go and play with you friends while I finish gatherin' up the last batch of apples." Jon wanted to see how far he could stay out of sight before being found but decided to stop torturing the poor filly and unveil himself.

With that he got up from his chair and quickly rounded the corner to surprise the natives.

"Howdy Pardner!" He said jokingly.

His sudden appearance surprised the two Earthponies who were were a lot closer than Jon thought. Applebloom jumped back in shock but unfortunately the other pony present had other plans as she very quickly turned around and with all her might threw her hind legs at Jon in a swift but devastating kicking motion.

Before Jon could even realize what had happened he was already a few feet away from where he was standing. Flat on his back on the dirty ground, the wind knocked out of him, and two perfect hoof prints on his new button down shirt. If his suit wasn't ruined before it was now.

Before Jon could even begin to get up he was greeted by the two Earthponies. One of whom was of course Applebloom and the other was one he did not recognize. This new pony was orange and had blonde hair which was slightly covered by a brown cowboy hat. Her cutie mark was three apples and she looked to be even dirtier than Jon. He knew exactly who this was.

"I'm so sorry!" The orange pony said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Jon said getting up. He looked over at his freckled attacker who had a look of worry on her face. "Applejack, I presume?"

Episode 4 [Ms. Cheerilee]: The classroom

"And there goes another one!" Jon thought as he lowered his hand in defeat. If living in the New York had taught him anything it was that hailing a cab is all but impossible. But this didn't stop him for very long and in no short amount of time he was already at it again. He needed to get home right away.

The day started off like any other for him, normal and predictable. But like most days as of late it wouldn't stay that way for very long. Ever since he took on the challenge of interviewing guests from Equestria he noticed that as the day went on it gradually transitioned from routine to blissful-abnormality.

However this time around the break in his usual schedule came in the form of a phone call from a very beloved and important person in his life...his mother. She called Jon at first to congratulate him once more on his recent success (At this point The Daily Show was still number one in the ratings) but then wanted to see if he was free for dinner that night.

Due to his busy schedule, which was now busier than ever, he rarely got the chance to see her, so he agreed. That night Jon and his mother, Marian Leibowitz, sat down at a local restaurant to catch up on things. Jon didn't want to talk about work but she couldn't help but congratulate her son one last time on recent events.

Jon always had the same rule when it came to social gatherings with friends and family. And that rule was: "Never. Talk. Politics." In his experience the mere mention of anything even remotely political could ruin a lovely evening, but unfortunately even with his own mother the topic was unavoidable.

This time around the subject of education came up. More specifically how, in the it's current economic state, the country was beginning to levy cuts to schools, their programs, and teacher's salaries. This line of conversation was not unexpected; Marian herself was a school teacher. She even spoke about some her friends, who were also teachers, and how a few of them lost their jobs due to budget cuts.

This hurt Jon to hear; growing up with a mother who was also a teacher made him a huge proponent of educators and their lifestyles. As a political satirist he knew how education was once again on the chopping block in America but to hear how it was so close to his own mother didn't do much to put him at ease. After their dinner (Which Jon had to admit was very nice despite all things) the two gave each other one last hug and kiss before going their separate ways.

As Jon walked down the semi-crowded street he thought about how much his mom meant to him and how much of an important role she played in his life.

"It was really nice seeing her again." He thought to himself, as he crossed the street. He continued to think about about how much she's done for him and how much he wished he could help both her and those like her. The last time he did something big for a worthwhile cause was his "Rally to Restore Sanity," and before that it was a fundraiser for kids with autism. And while something like that would help raise awareness he knew exactly what those at Comedy Central would say: "Not in the budget right now."

Jon soon found himself at at busy street corner still lost in thought. He wondered if he could have a segment at some point on his show about education. The problem with that idea was that at the moment education reform wasn't the "hot button" issue like it had been in the past. For the time being everyone was talking about the upcoming election and the Olympics going on in London. Both of which were topics Jon knew he had a responsibility to talk about.

Jon all but gave up on the idea, but just as he waved to random driver who let him cross the road an idea popped into his his head...a simple idea but one that only he had the resources to achieve.

But now here came the hard part.

"TAXI!" He shouted, trying to get the attention of a moving vehicle.

Later that night Jon found himself out of breath as he desperately ran up the stairs of his house to get to his study. When he finally arrived to his desired location he quickly and without thinking dialed the number of the only person who could help him right now. Princess Celestia.

"Greetings Jon." She said, "How can I--"

"A school teacher!" Jon blurted out, as he frantically burrowed through the many stacks of paper on his desk, looking for the list of names. "Wasn't there a school teacher on that list!?"

"Well a fine 'hello' to you too," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Dear Jon is everything alright? You sound as if you are in trouble."

"No, no, no, I'm...I'm fine." He displayed by lowering his rate of speech. "Uh listen...when we talked the other day I remember you mentioned something about someone being a teacher?"

Jon at last found the list of names. His handwriting could be seen all over it; foot notes for future reference. And there, on the last page no less, was a name circled with the phrase: "School teacher," written next to it.

"AH! Yeah right here," Jon said pointing to the paper. "This...Ms. Cheerilee...she's a teacher isn't she?"

"Indeed she is," Celestia answered. "Might I ask why you wish to know?"

"Um, yeah of course," He said gathering his thoughts and catching his breath. "I would like to have her on my show...like tomorrow."

"Oh dear," she said. "And here I thought you've been trying to avoid the last minute requests." Celestia was right. Jon wanted to get out of the habit of asking people the day before if they wanted to appear on his show. He wanted to have a more concrete schedule for days at a time but this was different.

"I know, I know but something...sorta came up." Jon said pausing as he was once again reminded of his mother. "Look Celestia...I don't know if its the same for you guys but over here in the states teachers are constantly undermined by the media and they're plights are never recognized."

"That's so awful to hear," Celestia said with a level of concern only she could express for something that didn't concern her. "But if I may be so bold...what does this have to do with our Ms. Cheerilee?" To Jon it meant everything.

"Look if your education system is anything like ours than this Ms. Cheerilee is probably as ignored and neglected by the community as our teachers." Jon said, who almost ended his last statement with 'my mother.' "So I wish to interview her and in doing so give her the attention I'm sure she deserves."

"Well, while I am glad to hear of your admirable intentions allow me to put your mind at ease," She said in a comforting manner. "Nopony in Ponyville is nothing short of an important asset to the community. Everypony here treats each other with the utmost respect, I can assure you."

"While that may be true for Equestria," Jon replied in a serious tone. "I"m afraid it's an entirely different case here in America. Look...you're probably right, but the thing is...I think people here in our world can really benefit from an interview like this. If your citizens, and by extension this teacher, are as well off as you say they are then I'm sure the public should see what life is like on the other side. Maybe then they can start thinking about...oh I don't know...reform in our world."

Celestia didn't say anything. She was stunned at how this mere mortal could show such compassion for others around him. Here he had the resources to interview any number of mythical creatures to further is own career and yet he uses the opportunity in the hopes of better the lives of others.

"Besides," Jon continued, "I still say this Ms. Cheerilee could stand to have a little more exposure. You may disagree with me but I'm guessing there's a reason her name is located almost at the very end of the list while others get theirs on the front and in bold. This Celestia could not deny.

"Well Jon I must say I am impressed." She said, her respect for him now at an all new high. "You may be from New York but if I didn't know any better I'd swear you were a member of Ponyville." Jon couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks Celestia," Jon said rubbing the back of his head. "Buuut I'm afraid I like having fingers too much." After a short giggle and pause Celestia gave Jon two options on what would happen next.

"So...shall I send a royal letter or would you rather I teleport you to her?" She asked. Jon almost answered the question right away but before he did a thought manifested inside his head. He quickly turned his head to a nearby mirror catching a glimpse of the somewhat elegant suite he wore for the dinner he just had with his mother (Something which she insisted he didn't have to do). It was certainly an acceptable attire one could wear in a variety of public places but he couldn't help but remind himself of his last, unpleasant, visit to Equestria.

"Your not sending me to a farm again, are you?" Jon asked rubbing his stomach, sounding a little on the annoyed side.

"No, I assure this place will be quite more accepting of whatever you decide to wear." She said sounding apologetic. "It'll also be a lot more...let's say hospitable as well."

"Well alright then." Jon said clapping his hands in anticipation. "Beam me down Scottie!"

Jon now more used to this than before stood up and closed his eyes immediately, waiting for the princess to conjure her magic. With a quick burst of light Jon was now in a new location altogether. Usually Jon would have time to slowly open his eyes and, at his own pace, deduce for himself where he was. But the sound of many voices collectively gasping forced him to open his eyes and quickly realize where he was.

It was bright outside so Jon could see clearly without any help. He was in a large room only somewhat bigger than his study, with many more windows. All around him were pictures that looked like they'd been drawn by a child...it looked like that because that was indeed the case. Sitting right In front him were over a dozen pair of eyes, each belonging to a young filly or colt; each wide in astonishment and each of them staring directly at Jon with their mouths agape. Celestia had teleported him in the middle of a classroom.

Jon was used to being in front of crowds; It was his world and it's how he started his career but this was different. Being in front of a group of children was not his usual forte. He was reminded of a story his good friend Zach Galifianakis told him awhile back about how he had do standup for a bunch of children only to run out of material before it was over...Jon now knew the feeling.

The collection of children, Jon noted, varied in appearance from pony to pony. Some were bigger than others while some had vastly different color schemes. He had never seen so many ponies in one spot before. The majority of the students were fillys and all of them were an almost even collection of Unicorn, Pegasus, and Earthpony...one whom Jon actually recognized.

"HEY JOHNNY!" A student sitting up front said, breaking the silence and earning her the attention of the rest of the class. Jon recognized that giant pink bow anywhere. It was Applejack's kid sister; Applebloom.

"Fancy meetin' you here!" She said. "Are ya back again to-"

Before she could finish a voice coming from behind Jon cut her off and immediately got the attention of the class...mostly.

"Excuse me sir but we are in the middle of class time!" The voice said. Whoever it was she sounded much older than the majority of ponies present, and her tone of voice carried with it much authority. Jon turned around to see a purple colored Earthpony glaring at him looking rather perturbed. Her mane was light purple with streaks of pale, light gray rose and her cutie mark depicted three smiling sunflowers.

"Who are you!" The purple pony said. "Or for that matter...what are you?" Before Jon could answer Applebloom sprung from her seat and dashed in front of him, almost as if she was about to take a bullet.

"Wait Ms. Cheerilee!" Applebloom pleaded. "This is Johnny! He's a human! Please don't hurt him, he's real friendly like!" Jon was grateful for young Appleboom vouching of him, though he was pretty sure he wasn't in any real danger. The only thing on his mind was what she had just said. That his Purple Earthpony standing before him was his target. The school teacher, Ms. Cheerilee!

"Wait...'Johnny?'" Cheerilee said with a sudden sense of realization. "And he's human." She was starting to put two and two together and at that moment she recognized his face. She now knew who he was.

"Actually its Jon...Jon Stewart," He said, now spinning back to Applebloom. "Uh listen sweety, I need to have word with your teacher. So why don't you be a good girl and get back to your seat while the adults talk in private."

Usually Applebloom would have objected to being talked down to and insisted she listen in but she was quite fond of Jon so she obeyed and went back to her seat, where she was greeted by her fellow classmates whispering questions at her.

With his identify now cleared up Jon was free to talk with his potential guest. He made his away around her desk where he greeted her with a handshake and kneeled down so she could hear him.

"Hello Ms Cheerilee," Jon said, in a low voice. "Like I said my name is Jon Stewart. I'm the host of 'The Daily Show.' I don't know if you've ever heard of it."

"O-oh well I- That is to say yes...yes I have heard of it." She said still slightly in shock. She wasn't used to a celebrity from another world being present in her classroom. "Some of my best friends are real big fans of yours...but listen I am in the middle of something here so...can I ask what are you doing here?"

"Oh certainly!" Jon said, feeling guilty that he interrupted what appeared to be a lecture. "Well, I'm here because I was wondering if you would be willing to appear on my show?" This sudden news surprised Cheerilee greatly. She was certain that he had appeared in her class completely by accident or that he was lost. The thought hadn't occurred to her that he was scouting for talent, and she definitely didn't think for even a second that he was here for her.

"You want to what!" She exclaimed. Her sudden outburst caused her students to look up at her; she covered her mouth and motioned for them to go back to what they were doing. After lowering her voice she began speaking with Jon again. "I'm sorry but you want me on your show...ME?!"

"Yeah!" Jon said encouragingly, while still as a whisper. "I think it would be a great opportunity if I interviewed someone like you."

"Som-Someone like me?" She pondered out loud. "What do you mean by that? I mean...why me?"

"What I mean is you're a teacher right? So I believe that if someone in your position were to be interviewed on my show it would be a great segment for my viewers. 'Must-see-T.V.' if you will." Jon said doing his best to convince the unsure pony.

"Oooh I...I don't know" Cheerilee said, trying her best to not look rustled. "I mean...wh-when would you even want on your show?"

"Uh...oh about sometime tomorrow." Jon said with a guilty look on his face.

"TOMORROW!?" She shouted, this time permanently gaining the attention of her students. Noticing this she quickly turned to address her class. "Now, now students nothing to worry about. Please continue reading from your books." None of them did.

"I can't just leave my class tomorrow!" She said, whispering so loud the class heard her.

"Can yo-- Is there any chance you can get someone to sub for you?" Jon asked, hoping he wasn't coming off too pushy.

"Well I mean, I suppose I could get twilight to- I mean no!...I...I'm sorry Mr. Stewart but I don't think I can appear on your show." She said shaking her head.

"OK I'm gonna level with you," Jon said seriously. "I feel that if I have influential people on my show real change can be made in my world...and I feel that change can start with us." Cheerilee didn't quite know how to respond.

"But...but then why are you asking me," She said looking confused. "I'm sure you can find somepony more important than me to go on your show...I mean I'm just a teacher."

The phrase "just a teacher" didn't register with Jon's brain. What got to him the most was that it wasn't said by some out of touch politician on capital hill but from an actual teacher. It was that kind of mentality that inspired Jon to ask her in the first place; now more than ever he needed her on his show. Jon had no choice...it was time to play dirty.

"I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do." Jon said with a sigh. Before Cheerilee could respond Jon had already stood up and faced the class. She may have been their teacher and they her students but the ponies present in the class was still an audience. And Jon, being the renowned comedian of many years, knew exactly how to talk to an audience.

"Hey Kids!" Jon said with overacting enthusiasm. "My name is Jon Stewart and I host a show called 'The Daily Show!' Who here knows about that show?" A surprising amount of students raised their hooves.

"Well alright! So kids tell me..." Jon said, sliding to the side and extending his arms out at Cheerilee as if she was a new model car at an auto show. "...who here wants to see their teacher, Ms. Cheerilee, on T.V.!?"

Jon's question was met with every child's eyes as wide as the moon, and their faces glowing with excitement. Her fate was sealed.

Episode 4 [Ms. Cheerilee]: Please welcome to the show Ms. Cheerilee

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Ms. Cheerilee (Cheerilee)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

With the the last commercial just finishing up the camera made its way down the center of the stage to get a good view of Jon Stewart who could be seen pretending to read from his notes in an overly dedicated manner. As the roar of the crowd continued Jon found himself now looking at the camera making body gestures as if he's not quite sure where he is only to "realize" he's on air and begins to speak.

"Welcome back to the show, my quest tonight;" Jon said pointing to the camera. "She is a beloved citizen of Ponyville and a teacher at Ponyville Elementary School. Please welcome to the show, Ms. Cheerilee!

As the crowd cheers for their guest to reveal herself the camera switches positions to view the backstage at an angle in anticipation for the Earthpony's arrival. Finally, after short wait, Ms. Cheerilee emerges from backstage which causes the cheers of the crowd to increase with excitement. Jon, as well at others in attendance, noticed that it took a little bit longer than usual for the guest to emerge from backstage. This was simply because she took an extra few seconds to make sure she looked alright.

Jon lightly jogged over to greet his guest halfway on the stage, where he shook her hoof and guided her back to the desk. Upon their arrival Jon offered her a seat by manually lowering the guest chair so she could easily get one. A gesture which she seemed to be very appreciative of as she jumped on and thanked him with a smile. Jon adjusted her chair up a bit but not before giving her one last shake of the hoof. Jon, now back in his seat, sits and waits for the crowd to stop cheering before beginning the interview. An interview he was really looking forward to.

"Welcome to the show Ms. Cheerilee, it's great to have you here," Jon said extending his arms out.

"Thank you very much for having me...though I didn't have much choice in the matter now did I?" She said with a smile, not showing a hint of animosity or scorn.

"I...I have no idea what you're talking about." He replied, pulling his collar as if to let out some pent up steam.

"I think you do Mr. Stewart." Cheerilee said, giving Jon the same look she'd give a student who was misbehaving. "You basically turned my class against me in order to get to get me on your show."

"I did no such thing!" He said throwing up a lone finger, looking as though he was making a declaration.

"But don't worry Mr. Stewart...I'll remember this the next time your in Ponyville." She said placing a hoof on Jon's hand. Her 'threat' was made all the more unnerving by her giving him a friendly wink and smile.

"...SO! Your a teacher!" Jon said, in a comically transparent attempt to change the subject. Both Cheerilee and the audience laughed as Jon slowly took back his hand from the clutches of his guest. Before She could answer Jon spoke again.

"Oh and sorry again for interrupting your class." Jon continued now looking at the audience. "Oh yeah, for those those at home who don't know I sort of got teleported in the middle of her class while she was teaching some kids or whatever-- eh it's no big deal."

"It's quite alright Mr. Stewart." Cheerilee said. "I must admit you made quite an impression on my class. They, like most ponies in Equestria, have never seen a human before. So to see you appear out of no where and sweep me away really got their imaginations going."

"You know I've been wondering something." Jon interjected. "You uh-- you yourself say most people in Equestria have never seen a human before...but for one to appear in your classroom like I did...I'm amazed you kept your composure the way you did."

"Well I didn't think--" Cheerilee said before getting interupted.

"I mean you didn't even call the Pony Police on me or anythying," Jon said.

"Well Jon," She said clearing her throat. "The reason why I didn't panic is because...well as you know I am a teacher; my students look up to me and It is my job to always make sure I act appropriately in their presence. If I did panic or get scared at your sudden arrival then I would have run the risk of having my students do the same, and as their teacher I could not allow that. I had to act brave and in charge for them."

"Wow...well I must say that is very chivalrous and responsible of you. Had it been me I probably would have just used one of the kids as a distraction and head for the hills." Jon said sounding uncomfortably genuine to his guest. Cheerilee wasn't by any means a comedian but nevertheless she wanted to see if she could match wits with Jon.

"Besides that...another reason why I didn't panic is because in truth you don't look that dangerous or intimidating," She said, causing the audience to laugh at Jon. "I figured worse case scenario I probably could have handled the situation myself."

"So your saying you could've taken me?" Jon retorted, standing up briefly to display his height. "Because I'm like twice your size...you don't even know what I can do!"

"Well that may be true," Cheerilee responded quickly pointing to Jon's midsection. "But if I recall the last time you had a run in with an Earthpony it didn't turn out so well in your favor." The sound of laughter and eventually cheers prevented Jon from responding right away. He didn't show signs of waver from her last statement but he couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed in himself for walking so easily into it.

"...Touche'," Jon said, lifting his mug to Cheerilee and rubbing his stomach. He took a sip and was about to say something but before he did he turned to camera once more.

"Oh and Applejack if your watching this: Round two is next week!" He yelled while standing up and flexing. "I'll meet you outback in the church parking lot!" Cheerilee wanted to comment on how Jon's goofy disposition proved her point on how he wasn't much of a threat but couldn't as she was too busy laughing at his performance.

"You know...when last I saw you, prior to this interview" Jon continued. "Your students seemed very happy about you going on this show. Tell me are...are any of them watching the program right now?" Cheerilee, still laughing, gave a worried look at the thought.

"Well, I certainly hope not. I mean nothing against your show, its great, but I don't think it's appropriate for younger ponies." She said. "Although I hear some of the adults are letting them watch this segment just this once... so long as you tone down the dirty words." Jon was about to respond by swearing purposely but decided against it.

"I see. So did any of your students do anything special for this occasion before you left?" Jon asked while fiddling with his pen.

"Actually yes they did!" Cheerilee said with a look of delight across her face. "They actually got together this morning in front of the schoolhouse to wish me luck before I left. They even pulled their allowances together to get me this!" Cheerilee reached down and picked up a small camera with her mouth and placed it on the table. Jon wasn't very knowledgeable about photography but even he could see that it wasn't that impressive. It was no where near good enough to be called a "professional camera" but at the same time it wasn't cheap.

"They want me to take pictures while I'm here and show it to them later," She continued, holding the camera in her hooves. "When I get back I'll have the photos developed in the school's basement and present it to them as a lecture on Human life. Which reminds me...smile!" With that she took a picture of Jon, momentarily blinding him with a flash.

"Wow..." Jon said rubbing his eyes. "Leave it to a teacher to take something as simple as a gift from her students and turn it into homework." Cheerilee found Jon's observation to be both humorous and slightly accurate; deciding there to just show it them as in class slideshow for fun.

"Now obviously your students are exited for you to be here tonight...but what about you Ms. Cheerilee?" Jon asked leaning forward. "You-- how are you liking your stay in New York so far?"

"Well all things considered I'd by lying if I said I wasn't excited to be here today," Cheerilee said with a giggle. "I don't leave Ponyville much because of my responsibilities to my students. Plus I love going to new places and learning new things. I must admit I never thought I'd get the chance to visit another world. And of course my students really wanted me to go so I didn't want to disappoint them...though a part of me feels they only wanted me to go cause they now get a substitute teacher."

"That's right you had someone fill in for you while you were away," Jon interjeted. "If I recall you...you had gotten Twilight Sparkle to fill in for you."

"That is correct Jon. She once told that if I ever needed her to she would gladly watch the class for me." She replied. "Shes probably the smartest pony we have in Ponyville so I'm sure she'll do a good job...though I am a little worried. My students can be a real handful sometimes."

"Aaah I get ya," Jon responded, nodding his head. "I remember when I was in their age me and my friends were always pulling pranks on our homeroom teacher. I'm guessing it's the same to you?"

"Well, I guess you can say that," Cheerilee said. "There have been the occasional prank or two."

"Like what?" Jon asked, wondering if pony pranks were anything like human ones. "Giv-give us an example."

"Well...there was this one time where the kids switched my sugar with salt an-- oh wait no, that Pinkie Pie..." She said rubbing her head. "Oh no wait I remember one: This one time somepony switched the signs on the "Filly" and "Colt" bathroom doors and I- oh wait that was also Pinkie Pie. Ok well uh, just the other day the town's drinking water...no that, that was Pinkie Pie too. Lets see, that was Pinkie Pie...that was Pinkie Pie...that was also Pinkie Pie..."

Jon watched as Cheerilee tried and failed to remember a single Prank that was pulled on her that didn't involve Pinkie Pie. It was a lot harder than she thought.

"Sorry Mr. Stewart," She said looking defeated. "It's hard thinking of a Prank that was pulled around town without thinking of her...she sorta does most of them."

"Ya don't saaaay?" Jon exclaimed giving her a look.

"OH! I just thought of one!" Cheerilee said. "And this one doesn't involve Pinkie Pie!"

"OK!" Jon said pretending to stretch. "Lay it on me!"

"Well I'm not sure if this counts as a prank but this one time During Hearts and Hooves day some of my students went and created a love potion," She said gaining the attention of everyone listening. "And while their hearts were in the right place they used it on me to try and get me a date. Turns out it was actually a love poison, and as a result me and a stallion by the name of Big Macintosh ended up falling in love with each other against our will." Jon was at a lost of words while the audience just laughed at the now blushing Earthpony.

"Why...I mean, whatever happened to simply putting a frog in the teachers top drawer?" Jon said in comical frustration. "Nowadays the kids have to invent new ways to alter with a teachers sense of reality."

"Oh it wasn't so bad," She insisted. "In the end they broke the spell and I forgave them."

"There are...so many questions I could ask about-- I mean for starters who gave them the idea to make that?" Jon asked.

"They actually got the idea from an old fairy tale book." She answered.

"Lesson learned! Kids! Don't read books!" Jon said whipping his hands. He waited for his guest to stop laughing before continuing. "Ok, so wh-where did they these kids get that book?"

"Oh well they got it from...Twilight Sparkle." Cheerilee said, raising her head in realization.

"Twilight Sparkle?" Jon asked. "You meeeean the same Twilight Sparkle...who is currently watching over your class?"

"Oh dear." She said, rubbing the back of her head. "I may not have thought that one all the way through."

"Ahem! Well I hope you have tenure." Jon said shuffling through his notes. "Also before we move one...you dated Big Macintosh?"

"I suppose I did," Cheerilee answered, still blushing. "He even had some corny pet names for me. At one point we even talked about getting married" Jon could almost count the seconds exactly for the audience to respond with an "Aaaawww."

"Wait, wait, wait...are you telling me that Big Macintosh actually said more than two words to you that wasn't 'nope' or 'yep?'" Jon asked, getting a nod in return. "Wow...he really must have been in love you."

Everyone in attendance understood the reference, and all shared a good bout of laughter as a result.

Jon always tried to avoid asking the most obvious questions, at least till the end, but this was one he couldn't avoid for much longer.

"So, Ms. Cheerilee, when did you first discover you wanted to be a teacher?" Jon asked, genuinely curious. The question caused her to tilt her head upwards as if to reminisce.

"Oh many years ago, Mr Stewart. I first discovered my love of teaching when I was younger, around the age of my students. And then one day I woke up and discovered this cutie mark," She said lifting her flank slightly so the people could get a view. "It represents the joy I feel whenever I cause somepony to bloom with knowledge! And ever since that day I knew I was meant to be a teacher!"

Her answer though very touching left Jon and subsequently almost everyone watching the program in a state of confusion. He took his pen out of his mouth and began tapping it against his desk, lost in thought.

"I'm sorry but...uh, 'cutie marks?'" Jon asked, looking around as if the answer was lying on the ground somewhere.

"That's right...Oh my," Cheerilee responded, noticing how lost he looked. "You don't know about cutie marks?"

"No. Can't say I do, talking purple pony from another world." Jon said, reminded her of the situation. With a quick laugh and a gleam in her eyes Cheerilee turned slightly to the audience and responded as if she was teaching a classroom.

"Well then allow me to tell you! You see back back in my world we ponies have a thing called 'cutie marks,'" She said once again raising her flank. "Now, as you can see a cutie mark is a symbol located on a ponies flank. It's a visual representation of a pony's special talent and in most cases what their profession is. Most ponies get them at a very young age once they themselves discover what it is that makes them unique. Everypony get's one eventually, its our right of passage as we grow up."

Jon found this to be interesting and at the same time hard to believe. Before asking his next question he tried to recall the cutie marks of his all the ponies he'd met at that point, though Applejack's was the only one we could remember for obvious reasons. He had certainly noticed that they had them but up until now he just assumed they were some sort of trendy fashion statement.

"So you're telling me that all ponies...eventually get this 'cutie mark' on their upper hips and it supposed to represent their career path?" Jon asked, raising one eyebrow.

"That's one way of putting it, yes!" Cheerilee stated, feeling happy she got to teach him something. "You humans don't have anything like that here in your world?"

"Not really," Jon said, sitting up in his seat. "The only thing even remotely resembling that here are things called 'tramp stamps' that some women get, and trust me when I say you don't wanna know what their special talent is." The crowd laughed at Jon's joke but Cheerilee was still focused on Jon, as this was her first time learning about human culture.

"I see. Well if you humans don't get cutie marks how do you know what your special talents are?" She asked. The question posed to Jon wasn't as easy to answer as he thought."

"Well..." he said, thinking carefully about the question. "To put it simply some of us just know. Others unfortunately go through most of their lives unsure of what their meant to do."

"That's sounds awful." She said.

"Yeah but in most cases, myself included, they have a dedicated role model to help guide them along the path of uncertainty," Jon said, sincerely. "You know, someone like you." His left field compliment caused Cheerilee to blush somewhat.

"Why thank you, Mr. Stewart!" She said. "So tell me, what's your special talent?" He didn't even have to think of how to respond to that.

"Being Jewish." He answered strait faced. Again her love of learning new things distracted Cheerilee from the sound of immense laughter coming from the audience.

"Very interesting. And when did you first discover your talent for being Jewish?" She asked.

"Well according to my mom i-it right around my circumcisions." He responded.

"And what exactly is a 'circumcision?'" Cheerilee asked rubbing her hoof against her chin.

"Well its a Jewish right of passage, much like you getting your cutie mark," Jon answered, determined to ride this joke straight to hell. "Only instead of gaining an ass tattoo I lost my forsk-- BUT that's neither here or there."

Jon now felt that needed to ask some serious questions while he could before her time on air ran out.

"So riddle me this, Ms. Cheerilee. You say that most ponies get their cutie mark when their around the age of of your students." He said. "So do you ever get a student or two who, for lack of a better term, 'freak out' over not getting the-- their cutie mark?" It was a perfectly valid question but nevertheless it caused Cheerilee to almost fall out of her chair laughing.

"Oh...oh Mr. Stewart!" She said, holding her sides. "Y-y-you have NO idea!" Jon had no way of knowing it at the time but somewhere in Ponyville at that very moment a certain young earthpony, and her two friends, were getting lovingly hazed.

In the interest of time Jon decided not to venture further into the subject even thought he very much wanted to.

"So tell me Ms. Cheerilee," Jon said scooting himself closer to his guest. "Well first let me start by saying that here in our country we're going through something of a debt crisis; unfortunately certain sectors of civil jobs have been cut financially as a result."

"Oh dear! Well that does sound serious." She said, holding a hoof to her mouth.

"Indeed it is," Jon responded. "Which is why I'm wondering, when was the last time budget cuts were levied at your level of teaching?" The question seemed to confused her.

"Budget cuts?" She said, looking as if Jon was speaking in foreign tongue. "You mean when funding is taken away from the school?"

"Yes exactly," Jon answered. "When was the last time it happened to you-- oh and how did you handle it." Cheerilee still looked confused, so she responded delicately as if saying the wrong thing could get her catapulted from her seat at any moment.

"Well Mr. Stewart..." She said. "I'm fortunate enough never have experience such a thing. The truth of the matter is in Equestria we don't take funding away from education...ever." The answer got Jon's immediate attention as well at the attention from millions around the world.

"Excuse me?" Jon said in shock. "Ever?"

"That's right," Cheerilee said surprised by Jon's being surprised. "Why in the name of Celestia would anypony cut funding to education? It's an institute designed to nurture and advance the minds of our children, that kind of service should be cherished above all things."

Her logic made a lot of sense to Jon yet at the same time he couldn't help but think of how impossible it seemed.

"If-- I mean if there's never any cuts to education then one can assume you are pretty well off," Jon said hoping not to offend. "Do you ever...think about retiring?"

"Well it's funny you should mention that," Cheerilee said. "I can actually retire right now if I wanted to. I come from somewhat wealthy family who guarantees that I could retire and go live with them."

"Then why don't you?" Jon asked almost knowing exactly what her answer would be.

"Well because Mr. Stewart," She said, pausing to gather her thoughts. "I love my job. I love the look on a child's face when they learn something new, I love telling parents that their child is doing well in my class, I love seeing students leave the classroom with more knowledge than when they entered, but most of all I love the feeling of knowing I'm helping mold the minds of future generations."

Jon didn't say a word. He just sat there and marveled at how much this stranger reminded him so much of his own mother.

"I mean, all this talk about education being cut and why teach in the in the first place just seems crazy to me," She continued with much fire in her heart. "If we don't care about the future of our children then they won't care enough to lead it."

There was a slight pause before the audience slowly then quickly began to applaud the Earthpony.

"You know what," Jon responded, nodding and giving a slow clap. "I couldn't agree more. But listen I'm sure you're more used to saying this than hearing it but would you mind staying after class for a few minutes to talk and we'll throw the rest up on the web?"

"Sure thing Mr. Stewart!" She said with a big smile. "Only if you agree to get a picture of me with your audience!"

"Done!" He said turning to the audience who was already cheering at the top of their lungs. "Ms. Cheerilee everyone! We'll be right back!"

The audience begins to stand and applaud as the camera shows Jon whispering something into Ms. Cheerilee's ear. The camera slowly paned away at a slightly different angle to see Cheerilee get up from her seat and pose in front of the audience as Jon snaps a quick picture. Soon the show fades into its next commercial.

Episode 5 [Octavia]: The Cellist

"Thank you for joining us. Here it is, your moment of zen!" By uttering these words Jon signals for his staff to play the last video clip before going off air. Another day another episode.

Jon could still hear the screams of his fans as he made his way backstage; weaving his way through a gauntlet of staff workers, occasionally receiving a thumbs up or someone saying "good job." After a few seconds of navigating Jon finally found his way to his office where he liked to go after each show to mentally unwind. His version of a cool down lap.

No sooner did he collapse in his hair did someone knock on his door and ask to come in. Usually no one would do such a thing as it was an unwritten rule that after a show no is to disturb Jon for awhile, but in this case Jon made an exception.

"Yes Selina; doors open." Jon yelled, sitting up in chair and buttoning up his coat to hid his protruding stomach.

A woman walked in wearing mostly black. Her dark brown hair held tightly back in a professional looking bun which complimented her glasses and Pantsuit. This was her usual ensemble with the only thing missing being her diamond necklace. The woman was Selina Jenson, the backstage manager and Jon's personal assistant.

"The show went very well today. The crowd especially took a liking to your Romney impersonation." She said, her gaze never leaving the clipboard she usually had with her.

"Thanks Selina," Jon responded as he took out his trusty list of names. "Could you please tell the tech guys to do something about the soundboard. The dramatic 'dun dun dun' sound effect came in kinda late."

"Of course, Sir." She said, still looking at her clipboard. "I'll make a note of that and have it fixed by tomorrow."

Jon was about tell her to call him 'Jon' instead of 'sir,' as it made him feel old. He didn't however as it would have been pointless; he'd asked her to do so many times before but she never did. It was just they was she was, always professional all the time. Jon didn't complain though, she was a great assistant. She was 20 years his junior and already she knew the ins and outs of the entertainment business almost as much as him.

As she jotted down anther note in on her clipboard she noticed the list of names on his desk. At first she thought nothing of it but her curiosity was peaked once she recognized a name or two.

"So that's the famous list I've heard so much about." She said. "Can I have a look?"

Jon, at the behest of Celestia (And even his own bosses) made sure to keep the details of how they did business a secret. Many people were trying to figure out how Jon was communicating with the people of Equestria in an attempt to do the same themselves. But in this case he figured letting his assistant look at the list was no big deal.

"No problem," Jon said, handing her the list. "I'll give you a five bucks if you can find a name that doesn't sound like a Crayon color." She looked at the list and read some of Jon's notes, which either described a pony or in some cases were reminders to get more information.

"So these are the people that everyone wants to get their hands on," she finally said, as she switched to another page. "It's incredible...an entirely different world out there at your fingertips."

"Your making it sound more extravagant than it actually is." Jon said.

"Am I?" Selina retorted. "Tell me, when was the last time someone else got the chance to interview a talking mythical creature of legend?"

Jon didn't answer, he instead just sat there massaging his head and did his best to not sound tired.

"I swear: Dragons, talking ponies, Pegasus...it's all so unreal." She said, putting the list back down. "So. Still not going to tell me how you manage to do all this?"

"Do what?" Jon said with a gin. "Manage an award winning show on television? I have this assistant who helps me. You should meet her, she's great. Knows how to brew up kick ass cup of coffee too." She didn't respond she just gave him a nod and began to walk out of the office.

"Who should I choose next?" Jon said. Selina stopped in her tracks halfway out the door and turned to Jon, her expression still the same.

"What do you mean sir?" She said.

"Common Selina you've worked here for almost 10 years," he said, picking up the list of names. "And in that time I've learned two things about you. One; you always have an opinion about something. And two; your opinion is usually right."

Jon placed the list of name on his desk facing Selina and sat up in his chair.

"You've seen the list and you've read my notes," Jon said, extending his hand. "If you're as good as an assistant as I think you are then you already know who should be on the show next...so who should I choose?"

With that Selina closed the door and made her way to Jon's desk. She flipped to one of the pages and extended her finger outward, placing her perfectly manicured nail on a name.

"Octavia. Next to her name you wrote 'Sophisticated musician,'" she said with a smile, turning around once again making her way for the exit. "....sometimes I feel that this show could use some class."

Later that day:

This time around Jon didn't head home at his usual time but instead stayed in his office a little longer. He was finishing up some paperwork but more important he stayed longer to make sure he was alone. After a few hours of paperwork he walked out of his office and into the area that had the other rooms and cubicles; he wanted to make sure no one else was around. The coast was clear.

Jon proceeded to pull out his phone and dial the number that he had dialed many times before; each time bringing something new and exiting his way.

"Hello Jon," Celestia said from the other line. "How can I help my favorite human today?"

"Well for starters you can tell who your second favorite human is," he responded. "I want to find him and rub it in his face."

"Oh my," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Someones in a good mood today."

"Eh what can I say," Jon said with a shrug. "I've gone the entire day without someone calling me an 'asshole' so I must be doing something right. But hey now that I have your attention...I was wondering if you could help me with out something."

"Certainly Jon." She said. "Is this regarding having someone on your show."

"Why yes It is! You just...you just get me." He said jokingly, walking up and down the now empty hallway. "I've decided who I want to appear on my show for tomorrow."

"That's great," She responded. "Just tell me who you wish interview and I'll have a talk with them."

"Thanks! The pony this time around is one, Octavia." Jon said taking a moment to reflect on how good and loyal a friend Celestia turned out to be. She was truly someone he could always count on for help.

"Oh...well I'm afraid I can't ask that particular pony." Celestia said. Jon took a moment to reflect on previous reflection.

"So when you say I'm your favorite human..." He said.

"Please hear me out," Celestia continued. "This particular pony is actually busy at the moment. I don't know if you recall but she is actually a well renowned musician in her field." Jon could vaguely remember a past conversation with Celestia in where she mentions a Pony who was a musician. Hence the phrase he put next to her name: 'Sophisticated musician.'

"You see the thing is at this moment she's in the middle of something important," she continued. "And I'm afraid it wouldn't be very proper of me to summon her right in the middle of personal affairs."

"Yeah I guess you're right." Jon said. He had to admit that what she was saying made sense; he wanted to have a noteworthy guest on his show but not if it meant inconveniencing them. Jon almost gave up on the idea but just as he did he realized that there was actually a second option.

"But hey what about this," He continued. "You can't pull her away at the moment and I understand that but...but what if you teleport me to her and I'll ask her myself after she's done with her whatever it is she's doing? That way I'll be sure to approach her when it's the most convenient, I'll get my guest, and you don't have to get your hooves dirty." Jon felt proud that he remembered to use the term 'hooves' instead of 'hands.'

"Well I don't see the harm in that," Celestia replied sounding amused. "Alright consider it done. If you have trouble finding her remember to look for a pink bow tie. Oh and one last thing. Don't be offended if she comes off as spiteful...deep down she's actually a very sweet pony."

Jon nodded and stood up readying himself for the incoming magic. He was still in the suit he wore that day so he didn't feel he needed a change of wardrobe, but at the same time he underestimated the exquisiteness of his soon to be location, as evident by him unwilling to pull back up his tie or button up his jacket.

"Alright!" Jon said. "I'm ready!"

Episode 5 [Octavia]: Jon goes to a concert

After closing his eyes and waiting a few seconds Jon could feel a change in atmosphere as he was slingshotted from his world to another. He still had his eyes closed but he could still sense that he was in a new location. The first thing that grabbed Jon's attention about his new settings was the difference in what he could hear. The silent ambiance of his deserted office was not replaced with the sound of muffled voices coming from somewhere nearby.

Jon opened his eyes to find himself inside an empty room with lockers on one side and mirrors on the other. On the floor was the occasional article of clothing or suitcase designed to hold whatever given item one might have. Jon had been a comedian for many years now and knew exactly what all this meant. He was in a dressing room.

Across from him he saw a door where the muffled voices could be heard. He was about to make his way there when he heard another sound, this time from behind him. He spun around only to realize that he actually wasn't alone.

Behind him in a chair was a blue stallion, with light blue hair, who was about half way dressed in a tuxedo. His cutie mark seemed to be music notes and his ever present horn was activated as he was trying to put away his violin. Jon couldn't help but notice the the ponies face which had an expression surprise and fear, but more importunately he noticed that pony was in fact male and bore no pink bow tie.

"Oh uh...sorry," Jon said making his way to the door. He was about to exit when he turned back for a second. "Oh and by the way...your fly is open." With that Jon was out of the room and into a crowded hallway leaving the terrified unicorn alone once again.

Jon now found himself in a new location, a narrow hallway crowded with all matter of ponies. Some looking like musicians and others looking like what appeared to be stagehands. Almost all at once the ponies stopped and gawked at Jon's towering presence; some dumbfounded by this strange species' sudden appearance and some even star stuck.

"Hey how you doing?" Jon said, waving his hand at the many eyes now fixated on him. With the sea of ponies coming to a standstill Jon could hear something in the distance. It was the sound of music.

"Excuse me." He said as he made his way down the hallway, following the music and capturing the attention of more ponies as he did.

As he progressed through room after room the music started to get louder and louder to the point where Jon could clearly identify that it was classical music. Usually someone would have stopped Jon from going any further as he was heading towards the main stage but in this case everyone present was too shocked to do anything about it.

Eventually he found his way to the source of the music. Jon was now just outside of what appeared to be the main stage of a music hall. In front of him were dozens of ponies, each wielding a different type of instrument and facing an audience of hundreds.

Unknown to Jon at the time Celestia had teleported him to the famed Canterlot Concert Hall located right under her castle. Even though it was a music hall it was located outside as opposed to inside a building. Columns supported the structure and the walls looked to be made of ivory and gold with the floor constructed of pure redwood (The entire hall itself was located at the edge of a forest. The same forest which was used to make said floors). In addition the stage itself was massive with the orchestra only filling up a small fraction of it, which to Jon meant it served multiple functions besides music concerts.

At the time of his visit Canterlot was having a concert in celebration of the annual Summer solstice. Anyone could attend, and its strategic location meant that anyone in the castle could hear its music.

"Wow. I guess she really was in the middle of something important." Jon thought as he buttoned up his jacket and straightened out his tie.

As Jon glanced over the ponies producing the lovely music he had a difficult time finding Octavia. It was dark outside but the expert lighting made it so you could see everyone on stage (Though the people in the audience were almost completely invisible to those on stage). What made it hard for Jon to locate her was the many unicorn horns that were alight with magic, each being used to control whatever given instrument was playing.

But one pony eventually stood out to Jon and for two main reason. For one she was located at the front of the orchestra almost to the point where it looked as if she was the main attraction. But what Jon found most interesting was, as far he could tell, she was the only Earthpony present as displayed by her playing a cello with her hooves.

As Jon continued to look onward at the gray Earthpony, with an even darker gray mane, he saw that this she also had around her neck a loose collar complete with a pink bow tie.

"Hey," Jon said, turning to an aging white unicorn who even Jon's presence couldn't tear his eyes from the performance. "That Gray pony upfront...is that Octavia?" The unicorn turned to Jon to give him a quizzical look then swiftly went back to watching the show.

"Yes, yes, yes," He said waving his hoof at Jon. "Now be quiet! The show, she is almost complete!"

Jon followed his orders and watched as the symphony neared it's completion. He had to admit going to Equestria on business had its perks. This being one of them.

The music he was listening to was probably the most hauntingly beautiful thing he's ever heard. Jon had a soft spots for the arts and had even watched the New York philharmonic Orchestra once or twice in his life but this...was something else.

A few minutes had passed and the final note was struck. Every pony in attendance stood up in applause as the musicians on stage took a bow. After awhile of cheering and applauding the orchestra split down the middle and began exiting the stage either to their left or right. Jon saw this and decided to head back in the hallway and wait for Octavia as to not cause a scene.

This proved to be only somewhat effective as one by one each pony stopped in their tracks at the eventual sight of Jon. This caused something of a traffic jam in that narrow hallway as no one dared to move any further. Like the hallway was a circulatory system and Jon had just caused an artery block to the heart.

Before anyone could say anything the crowd began to move aside as a lone figure began to walk through. It was Octavia who did not say a word, she just kept on walking. Eventually she made her way to the front of the crowd where Jon was. She briefly looked up at him and for a split second almost stopped in her tracks but then continued onward.

"Hi there," Jon said extending his hand. "I was wondering if I could have a moment of--"

Before Jon could finish his sentence Octavia walked passed him without even saying a single word, much to the surprise of her fellow musicians who at this point were already whispering rumors. Jon did not see that coming at all and for a brief moment just stood there hand outstretched.

Down but not out he turned around and did his best to follow her through the crowded hallway.

"Excuse me!" Jon shouted out, trying to get the attention of Octavia.

She was a few feet ahead and could easily hear him but chose not to respond. Her stride never broke as she effortlessly walked in and out of the incoming wave of ponies, occasionally receiving a fleeting compliment.

"Could I please have a moment of your time!?" Jon shouted once more, slowly closing the gap between them. Eventually Octavia made it to a room designated "Dressing Room." She opened the door and was about to enter when Jon finally caught up, making it that much more difficult to ignore him.

"Hey wait a second!" Jon said as he tried to catch his breath. "Hi...sorry but I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second? You may not know me but my name is--"

"Jon Stewart." Octavia said, her hoof still on the half opened door and her eyes looking forward.

Jon wasn't sure if her knowing of who he is was a good or bad thing.

"Yes, I am well fully aware of who you are. I hear you have a fondness of popping up in random places." She continued. "You've made quite an impact here in Equestria"

"Oh, well I suppose I have." He said, with an awkward smile. "If you've heard of me then I'm assuming you know about...what I do?"

"If you are referring to your television show then yes I am aware of your profession." Octavia said, continuing to avoid eye contact.

"Well then in that case I was wondering," Jon said with a pause. "Would you like to be interviewed on my show tomorrow?"

Octavia opened the door to the dressing room and walked halfway in placing her cello on the ground. She turned to face Jon and for the first time looked him in the eye.

"No." She said, closing the door in his face. Jon was at a loss for words.

"O-o-oh well I..." He said, raising his voice so she could hear him. "Well what about at a later time when you're not--"

The audible sound of Octavia locking the door cut Jon off mid sentence leaving him standing there alone.

"You sure do know how to pick em, Selina." Jon said to himself with a sigh.

Later that night:

Jon was now back home in his study calculating his next move. He could either call Celestia to try and get someone else on the show or use a back up filler in the mean time. Jon was determined however to get an Equestrian citizen to come on so he spent the better part of his night looking over the list of names again.

"Maybe this was a blessing in disguise." Jon thought to himself, feeling as though he dodged a bullet. "I mean she sure didn't seem like the life of the party. I can only imagine what she'd be like on national television."

Jon was no stranger to people refusing to come on his show so this wasn't that big a blow to his ego. In the past he's had both high and low profile figures reject his invitations, usually because of scheduling or a lack of interest. Though he had to admit getting reject in person didn't feel very good.

As Jon looked over the list again he picked up his phone, ready to call Celestia when something unexpected and frightening happened. Jon leaped from his chair with a look of shock on his face at the sight of green fire bursting in front of him. He held himself as the green flame vanished into thin air as quickly as it appeared, leaving behind only a single 8x11 note.

"Spike?" Jon thought to himself as he slowly approached his desk reaching out where the note now laid. Jon would have been more hesitant about this a few weeks ago but his time in Equestria almost made occurrences like this second nature to him. The note was addressed to him but didn't say who it was from, thought the way it was delivered and the hand writing suggested that Spike had sent it.

Jon opened the letter and began to read it:

"You got to be kidding me." Jon thought to himself.

At first Jon thought about rejecting her reconsideration and call Celestia to get someone else. The more he thought about it the more it seemed like a good idea, after all Jon was certain that someone like her wouldn't be a very likeable guest to have. He was about half way through dialing Celestia when he remembered what she had told him before...about how Octavia can seem off putting but was actually kindhearted.

Jon decided to let cooler head prevail as he put down the phone and made a mental note to call Selina and confirm the intended arrival of his new guest. As Jon made his way to his room to go to sleep a thought popped in his head.

What made Octavia change her mind?

It was something that Jon was determined to ask her himself tomorrow.

Episode 5 [Octavia]: Please welcome to the show Octavia

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Octavia
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

As one more commercial comes and goes the audience in attendance begin to cheer at the sight of the 'Daily Show logo' appearing on screen and vanishing. This signaled the shows return from it's last segment which ultimately meant it was time for Jon to conduct yet another interview.

The camera did its usual pan over to Jon who could be seen looking into the camera and swiveling back and forth in his chair. As the camera came in closer he began to wave at his audience before eventually looking back at the camera, ready to speak.

"Welcome back to 'The Daily Show', my guest tonight!" Jon said, cracking his neck. "She is a musician, whose achievements have made her renowned all over Equestria as one of the best cellist ever in her field. Please welcome to the show, Octavia!"

The crowd could hardly contain their excitement as the new Equestrian guest made her way on the stage. The last time Jon saw her was in the dark hallway of the Canterlot Concert Hall, so this was was his first time seeing her up close and in better lighting. It was at this point that he noticed for the first time her cutie mark, which was with a purple music note matching her eye color. This made sense to him as she was a musician.

As she made her way to the desk it looked as if she wasn't going to even look at the audience, who were cheering for her. Eventually, as she got closer to Jon, she acknowledged their existence by looking at them though she didn't wave or smile.

When she arrived at the desk Jon met her by shaking her hoof and offering her a seat which she gladly took, though it was hard to tell how appreciative she was towards the gesture.

Jon, now satisfied, sat in his chair and waited for the crowd's cheers to decrease in volume before starting. Before that happened however Jon was surprised to see a stagehand run up behind Octavia and place a new mug of water in front of her then dash off again backstage.

He would have asked what he was doing but he came and went too quickly and it would have been impossible for him to hear Jon over the roar of the crowd.

His curiously took a temporary back seat due to the crowd's cheering slowly coming to a stop.

"Welcome to the show Octavia great to have you here!" Jon said, adjusting himself in his chair.

"Thank you for having me Mr. Stewart," Octavia said. "It was most generous of you to ask me to attend." He actually got a thank you. Jon wondered if this was the same Octavia from last night.

"It's no problem at all, and please call me 'Jon,'" He said. "Now whats...whats interesting is that you almost--"

Jon stopped mid sentence to see Octavia reach below her and grab something delicately in her hoof. It was a tea bag which she suspended over her mug of water. Jon now understood what the stagehand had given her. She requested hot water.

Before she could submerge the pouch of tea-leaves in her drink she noticed Jon looking at her.

"Oh. Do you mind?" She asked.

"Not at all." Jon said, motioning for her to continue. He could already tell this interview would be different.

"So as I was saying," Jon continued. "What's interesting is that you almost didn't...appear on today's show. You had originally uh-- rejected my offer."

"That is correct." Octavia said, but not before once again dipping the tea bag in her mug.

"So I guess what I'm asking is...wha--why did you decide to come on the show after all?" Jon asked, his question hanging in the air for a second. His inquiry seemed to have resonated with Octavia as her attention was torn away from her tea to Jon. This didn't last long as she once again focused on her beverage.

"Let's just say I had a change of heart." She said, taking a sip of her now ready tea.

"Oh I see." Jon said tapping his pen against his desk, not believing a word of it. He didn't want to press the issue to much so he let it slide making a mental note to come back to it later.

"Well either way I'm glad you could make it!" Jon said sincerely. "And hey! Now you get to see me in my natural habitat."

"I suppose that's true." Octavia said, taking another sip of her tea.

"Yeah for those of you who don't know, when I uh-- When I first approached Octavia here she was in the middle of a symphony." Jon said leaning towards the camera and then back to Octavia. "And may I just say this: That was without a doubt the best performance I had ever seen. You were great!"

Usually she would have thought the compliment was just a hollow attempt to butter her up. But as Octavia looked up from her drink into Jon's eyes she could see that his words were authentic.

"Oh well...thank you very much." She said, nervously brushing back her chair. "I rather appreciate hearing that. Oh and...I apologize for acting so cold towards the last time we exchanged words."

"Ah fogettaboutit!" Jon said, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Trust me as a comedian in New York I've experienced worse rejections." Octavia was now paying more attention to Jon.

"Thank you for understanding," She said. "It's just that I don't like being bothered right after a major performance. I'm sure someone like you could understand that." Jon knew all to well what she was saying.

"And hey, at least I didn't get teleported to uh-- right in the middle of the stage." Jon added. The thought of this happening caused Octavia to cringe in her place. She took a sip of her tea to help remedy the feeling.

"I suppose if that were to happen you would have asked the audience in attendance if they wanted to see me on T.V. like you did with dear Ms. Cheerilee." She said, looking at Jon was serious eyes.

Jon was surprised; he was not expecting her to make references to previous shows of his.

"Oh well, well, well." Jon said, stroking his chin. "If I didn't know any better I would say it sounded as if you're a fan of the show."

Octavia was about to take another drink when the question stopped her mid sip.

"Well if you must know," She said, putting down her drink. "I am somewhat familiar with your show--"

"Oh really." Jon interrupted, his eyes now widened. "So you do watch the show?"

"No I'm afraid I don't. I'm just familiar with how it works." Octavia said, causing Jon to jokingly put his closed fist to his chest as if he was stabbed in the heart.

"Like I said before, a lot of people in Equestria know of you," she continued. "And as such I know how you conduct yourself on this show. This is actually one of the reasons why I refused to attend at first."

"What do you mean?" Jon asked, wondering if he was finally going to get her to open up more.

"Well its like this Mr. Stewart. I know that you and your correspondence have a real talent for inviting people on the program and making them look like fools." Octavia answered, while the audience gave a slight chuckle. "Say for example one your colleagues got the chance to interview a politician, or celebrity...they would know exactly what to say to make them sound like simpletons."

"What can I say." Jon said with a proud shrug. "They were taught by the best."

"Exactly my point." Octavia continued, sounding defensive. "And from what I understand you yourself enjoy a good fond ribbing of your guests as well. Now, I understand you do so playfully and with no ill tidings but you'll forgive me if I wasn't entirety thrilled with the idea of being mocked on television."

Jon was beginning to understand Octavia a little bit more.

"Well...i-if it'll make you feel better how bout I promise not not make any jokes at your expense?" Jon asked, extending his hand.

Octavia wanted to respond indifferently towards his proposal but in truth she was very thankful for his willingness to compromise with her. Though she tried her hardest to not telegraph these feelings.

"I...I would appreciate that." She said, shaking his hand and effortlessly holding back a smile.

"Well alright then!" Jon said with a smile as picked up his notes. "No cheap shots."

Jon waited a few seconds before taking the top three pages of his notes and crumpling them up. He then proceeded to throw them over his shoulder with a look of fake disappointment. This caused the audience to laugh hysterically and while Octavia herself found it humorous she wondered if perhaps those really were jokes aimed at her.

"Were those really all jokes about me?" She asked.

"So-- oh no I mostly just play hangman on those things." He responded.

Octavia still couldn't tell how genuine Jon was being.

"So Octavia," Jon continued. "You are a musician back in Equestria, am I right?"

"Indeed you are Mr. Stewart," she answered. "I am a cellist for the Royal Canterlot Symphony."

"Now...your not just any cellist, you have quite an impressive resume." He said looking over his notes very briefly. "According to my research: You graduated top of your class at the Canterlot University of music, you were hand picked by Celestia to be the first-chair cellist for the Royal Canterlot Symphony, you're the youngest pony to ever win the Equestrian peace price in the art of music, and the only pony to ever be a member of both the Royal Symphony and Canterlot philharmonic orchestra at the same time. Now--"

Before Jon could go any further he was cut off by the sound of the audience applauding at Octavia. She didn't respond to them as she was very much used to hearing this sound.

"Now I gotta say that is all very, very impressive." Jon said. Octavia took this time to take another sip of her tea.

"Thank you Mr. Stewart," She responded. "I suppose it is but I can always do better." Jon couldn't help but laugh at her tone.

"So you spend most of your time in Canterlot then?" Jon asked

"Well yes I do," she answered. "Although I do travel a lot to attend performances but for the most part...yes I primarily conduct myself within the walls of Canterlot."

"So what's it like living in a city like Canterlot?" Jon asked. "Do you feel that the environment...helps you fulfill yourself artistically?" Octavia took a moment to respond as she was in the middle of swallowing down a gulp of tea.

"I actually don't live in Canterlot," she answered. "It's too expensive to live in the city so I commute there from Ponyville."

"Oh I had no idea." Jon retorted

"Yes, the rent there is much less expensive," she added. "Especially when you have someone who helps you out." Jon understood what she meant but for some reason thought it'd be good to press the issue a little bit further.

"Oh so you live with someone?" Jon asked. Octavia took a moment to respond. She was clearly thinking of what to say next.

"Yes...yes I do," She replied. "A roommate as a matter a fact, we split the rent evenly between us"

"Is this roommate of yours also a musician? He continued.

"You could say that," Octavia said quietly. "She does her own thing and I do mine."

Jon couldn't help but feel she was avoiding the question somewhat but in the end decided to steer the interview in a new direction.

"So what inspired you to be a musician?" Jon asked, "Was it listening to the famous works of artists like...uh, Beethoven, Mozart, or Bach? Or ya know, something like that?" Octavia was about to answer but before she could she felt lost over something he had just said.

"I'm sorry Mr. Stewart," she said, looking skeptical. "But I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea who those people are." Jon shook is head as if to try and clear his thoughts.

"Really!?" He said. "You've never heard of them?"

Jon knew that her being from a different world would bring with it a certain degree of ignorance but a classical musician now knowing about someone like Beethoven just seemed inconceivable.

"No. But I can infer that they, much like myself, are musicians in the art of classical music." She said, once again picking up her cup of tea.

"Yes, yes they are and-- you know my personal assistant thought something like this might, actually." Jon said, pointing a finger backstage. "So having said that...Octavia would you consider participating in a little experiment with me?"

She was about to take another drink but stopped mid sip to look up at Jon.

"What kind of experiment?" She asked.

"Ok, basically Its like this," Jon said. "I'll have my team backstage play some songs over the speakers. And you, being the gifted musician that you are, will give us your opinion on what you think of them. What do ya say?"

Octavia took a moment to think about it. She looked over at the audience who were cheering her on to do it. The peer pressure proved to great.

"Very well then," she said. "I'll participate in your...'experiment.'"

"Excellent!" Jon said. He turned slightly to his left and began to raise his voice in no particular direction. "Ok Chuck when I give the signal role the first song!" The speakers system turned on and an already put together playlist was waiting in the system like bullets in a revolver's chamber.

"Ok Octavia," Jon continued, looking at his notes once more. "This first piece is from a man called Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and is entitled 'Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.'"'

Octavia braced herself for what was to come by closing her eyes and tilting her head upwards. The music began to play with everyone but the musical Earthpony recognizing it immediately. She didn't say or do anything, she simply listened to the music which eventually cut off after 30 seconds.

"Magnificent," She finally said, looking back at Jon. "Simply magnificent. The way the music flowed was very sublime." Jon found it odd to hear her talk so expressively like this.

"Glad you liked it," Jon said, signaling chuck to play the next song. "Alright now just as a warning...this next song is a bit more modern than what you're probably used to." Once again she prepared herself by closing her eyes and tilting her head.

"This next one is a personal favorite of mine," He said, "It's a song called 'All you need is love' and its by a very famous group called 'The Beatles."

As the music played some of the audience members could be seen mouthing the words as it played overhead. This time around Jon joined Octavia by closing his eyes too. The soundbite was only 30 seconds long but it was set in just the right place so she could hear the 'All you need is love' portion.

"Hmm, very interesting," She said, now looking at Jon once more. "You were right that wasn't what I'm used to, but I have to admit it was very...compelling. I liked it; especially the orchestra in the background." Jon was so pleased to hear this that he pumped his fist and grabbed her hoof for quick handshake, much to her surprise.

"Alright just two more," Jon said, holding back a devious grin from appearing on his face. "Ok this next one...is very modern. It's a song called "RIGHT IN"

Some of audience members couldn't help but laugh at Jon's plan. At the time Octavia paid them no mind.

"This particular song is composed by a young lad by the name of Skrillex," Jon continued, sitting up in his chair, "A very famous musician of today's youth."

As Jon signaled for the song to play Octavia continued her ritual of closing her eyes and raising her head. Had she not done so she would have noticed Jon using his hands to cover his ears.

The music began to play and immediately it caused Octavia to tense up and sport a look of disgust on her face. The soundbite ended much sooner than the last two and she began to rub her ears as if she was in great pain.

"That...was revolting. Absolutely abysmal" She said, glaring at Jon. "I'm sorry to whoever Skrillex is but that was the most ghastly noise I have ever heard. Please tell me that's not what all music sounds like over here."

Jon chuckled and then proceeded to check his notes for a final time.

"Alright...we--" Jon said trying not to laugh. "This final song is called--" Jon stopped mid sentence at the sight of Octavia looking at him with suspicious eyes. Jon quickly scooted forward and placed a hand on her hoof for comfort.

"No, no, no!" He said vigorously. "I can-- I promise, this next one will be good! I swear! Can...can I play it?"

Octavia took her hoof back and hesitantly allowed him to proceed.

"Thank you!" He continued. "Ok this final piece is called "Für Elise" and was composed by the legendary Ludwig van Beethoven .

She gave Jon a nod and for the last time closed her eyes and held her head skywards. As the music played something different occurred. Even though it was a very small gesture Jon was surprised to see that this time around Octavia started to sway side to side to the rhythm of the music. She even at one point took a deep breath as is she was trying to breath in the melodies.

"So what did you think?" Jon asked after the music had stopped.

"That...was heavenly," she said, her eyes still closed. "I've never heard such wondrous music before. It was simple and yet it contained so much beauty. I could feel the composer's love for the arts engraved in every note. Who did you say composed that?"

"Ludwig van Beethoven." Jon answered, happy to see his guest more at ease.

"Well then before I leave you must give me the sheet music to some of his others works." She said, her eyes now open again.

"Should be easy enough." He said. "Since I won't have to deal with pesky lawyers to get them."

"Ah. I can only assume Mr. Beethoven is no longer around then." Octavia said.

"Afraid not," Jon said. "He passed away many, many years ago."

"How sad." She replied.

"Yeah he's actually one of our worlds most famous musicians," Jon added. "At one point in his career he actually went deaf."

Octavia's eyes shot up at Jon so quickly she almost spilled the remainder of her tea.

"I'm sorry, but did you say he was deaf?" She asked.

"Yeah he was," Jon answered. "But despite all that he still produced music."

"I see," Octavia said, looking at her reflection in her tea which was almost gone. "I can only imagine the amount challenges and hardships he had to endure as an artist because it."

Years of interviewing people gave Jon many skills. One of which was identifying when a guest what ready to open up about something.

"What about you, Octavia?" He asked.

"What do you mean? She responded.

"Have you ever had to overcome any challenges as an artist yourself?" Jon retorted. For the first time she looked like she was at a lose for words. Finally she began to talk once more.

"Well actually yes I have. It may not be as extreme as losing ones sense of hearing but I have." She said. "You see Mr. Stewart, as you can probably observe I am an Earthpony." Jon nodded and continued to listen. This was something he had indeed noticed.

"Well the thing is most musicians, especially those who perform with string instruments, are unicorns." She continued, once again regaining her composure. "It makes it easier to properly operate them when you can do so with magic." Jon was starting understand where she was going with this.

"As for me, well I have to use my own hooves which as you may guess is very difficult." She added.

Thinking back Jon did notice that a large number of ponies at the concert he crashed were unicorns. The more he thought about it the more he realized Octavia was the only Earthpony he saw that day.

"It must have been hard for you be taken seriously by others." Jon said.

"You have no idea," Octavia responded. "Growing up all I wanted to do was to play the cello but I was constantly told by others how impossible it would be for someone like myself."

"With hindsight...being where you are now, do you ever feel like finding those same people and just going: 'What now asshole? How many first chairs do you have?'" Jon asked trying his best to lighten the mood.

"As...tempting as that may sound I would never do that," She answered. "Its not very becoming."

"Now. What would you say did-- helped you to achieve what you have today," Jon asked. "Basically despite everyone saying otherwise...what kept you going."

The question was very straight forward but Octavia still took awhile to respond. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if what she was about to say were her final words to the world.

"Well Mr. Stewart...I would like to say that I did it all on my own through sheer determination," Octavia said. "But the truth is I had some help...from a very special friend."

"And who would that be?" Jon asked with anticipation. Octavia looked as if she was struggling to put together her next string of sentences.

"Well...I don't know if you recall but remember earlier on how I mention I had a roommate?" She asked.

"Yes, yes I do." Jon answered.

"Well actually she's...more than just a roommate." She added. "She's actually a very close friend of mine. Her name is Vinyl Scratch."

Jon was amazed that he had finally gotten Octavia to open up about something personal. But what amazed him more was that for the first time since the start of the interview (And indeed since they first met) Octavia had smiled; she did so when she said Vinyl's name.

"You see I've known her since we were both little fillies," she continued. "And she was always there by my side, ready to give me a pat on the back when I succeeded or a hug whenever I failed."

"She sounds great." Jon said.

"Oh she is Mr. Stewart, she is. You know at one point in my life I almost dropped out of music school because I couldn't take being teased and laughed at by my classmates...you know for being an Earthpony." Octavia said. "But vinyl talked me out of it the next day. She said she'd never forgive me if I gave up on myself."

"Teased and laughed at, huh." Jon thought to himself. "I can see why she didn't want to come on my show at first."

"Actually, she's also the reason why I'm present on your show today." Octavia said with a smile.

"Oh really!" Jon exclaimed.

"Yes, after our little...encounter I went back to our place and told her what happened," Octavia continued. "She then convinced me reconsider and said she would be cheering me on from back home."

Jon was happy that he had finally gotten Octavia to open up about something, he just didn't know that this certain something just happened to be the most important person in her life.

"Wow...she really does sound like a good friend. It's always nice to have someone you can rely on to help you." Jon said. "You know based on your description of her one could say she's your better half."

The offhanded compliment caused Octavia to blush somewhat but she quickly recovered and fired back with a "compliment" of her own.

"Thank Mr. Stewart. Oh and by the way I would like to recant a previous statement of mine," she said with a grin. "I actually have watched your show before."

"Is that so?" Jon said leaning forward.

"Indeed I have." She said. "Though its usually because I'm just waiting for 'The Colbert Report' to start...you know with Stephen Colbert, your better half."

The crowd laughed at Jon while Octavia sat there looking proud of herself.

"I knew bringing you on the show was a good idea." Jon said, waving his finger and adjusting his suit.

"Which reminds me," Octavia added. "Why did you decide to have me on your show? Especially after how I treated you when we met."

"Well it was actually my assistance's idea," Jon answered. "She saw a little profile I did of you and thought the show could 'use some class.'"

"Well that was certainly a nice gesture," Octavia said. "But if I may comment. I think your show is very 'classy' without me, especially since your last guest."

"Who Ms. Cheerilee?" Jon asked, looking puzzled. He certainly thought she was a stand up woman but to describe her as 'classy' seemed a bit much. Especially compared to Octavia.

"Oh heaven yes Mr. Stewart. I mean I may be a renowned cellist..." She said, taking a second to finish the last drop of tea in her mug. "...but Ms. Cheerilee has class every Monday through Friday."

Jon was certain that hell had just frozen over. Not only did Octavia tell a joke but she managed to make Jon laugh. The entire audience joined Jon in laughter but took it to another level and began to applaud the gifted Earthpony.

"Octavia...it was great having you on the show!" Jon said over the audience. "I wish nothing but the best of luck to you and your future endeavors!

"Thank you, Jon!" She said leaning forward to shake his hand.

"Tell Vinyl I said 'hi.'" He added. "Octavia everyone! We'll be right back."

The crowd stood in tumultuous applause as Jon leaned forward to whisper something in Octavia's ear. As he did the camera slowly panned away just barely missing seeing Jon walk around his desk to pose next to Octavia for any fan to take a picture. The last thing the viewers see is the 'Daily Show logo' flying on the screen only to dash off screen as the program fades into another commercial break.

Episode 6 [Zecora]: The question

It was a particularity sunny afternoon in New York, and while most people were outside enjoying the much needed good weather Jon found himself at home preparing for future shows.

The public's desires for more Equestrian interviews was as insatiable as ever to the point where "The Daily" Show was now synonymous with "Ponies." To that end Jon was determined to make it so he could have a solid schedule of who would come on the show ahead of time instead of him having to go there in person to ask them at the last minute.

This proved to be more difficult than he thought, what with their world being so far away and Jon not knowing who any of them were or what they did till he made contact. This wasn't helped by the studio executives constantly giving him advice on who he should talk to next.

Ultimately the decision of who came on the show rested with Jon but that didn't stop his bosses from offering ideas anyway.

"Try and interview some kind of monster!"

"Why don't you have their leader on sometime?"

"Does that world have any politicians?

"You've been there before. Have you ever seen a talking dog?"

For the most past Jon ignored these suggestions and mainly focused on trying to conduct interviews that were equal parts humorous and informative. That is until one day at work when an intern approached him.

"Mr. Stewart, here’s the papers you wanted." The intern said.

"Thank you Erick," Jon replied, as he wrote something down in his notebook. "Please go to the graphics department. I hear they need some help with something."

"Sure thing Boss." He said, pausing for a moment before speaking again. "But um...before I go can I ask you something…about the Equestrian interviews?" Jon didn't particularity like talking about work even when he was at work, but if his staff needed his help understanding something he felt that it was his duty to assist them.

"Sure thing kid," Jon said. "Shoot."

"Well, t-the guests you've been getting from Equestria have all been great," Erick said. "But I'm curious...are they all ponies?"

Jon almost answered by saying "yes," but as he did he realized it was something he could not answer with 100% certainty. This question would follow him for the next 24 hours, stuck in his head like a catchy song. Whenever Jon visited Equestria on business he saw nothing but ponies. Some of them could fly or use magic while others possessed none of these abilities, but in the end they were all still ponies nonetheless.

At the same time however Jon could not deny that he had seen a non-pony citizens at one point. After all the very first guest he had on his show was Spike. A dragon.

The question continued to cling to Jon's mind, refusing to let go. So it was on this sunny afternoon, locked away in his study, that Jon decided to pick up his phone and ask the only person he knew who could help him understand.

"Hello Jon." Celestia said. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you at this hour."

"Oh sorry Celestia," He said, getting up to idly look through his bookcase. "If this is an inconvenient time I can call back later."

"It's quite alright," she responded. "I always have time for you."

"Thaaaat's great to hear," Jon said. "Just don't feel like you have to bend over backwards on my account."

"Wouldn't dream of it Jon. Now what is it that you wish to talk about?" She said.

"Well here's the thing," Jon said. "I've been racking my brain on an issue and have so far come up with nothing, so I'm just going to ask you straight up...does Equestria have other talking animals besides ponies?"

"Of course we do," Celestia said with a joyous laugh. "Or have you already forgotten about Spike."

"Forget? The kid can send mail across different planes of existence by breathing fire on it and he almost ate my assistant's necklace," Jon responded. "Trust me when I say, 'I remember spike.'"

Celestia couldn't help but giggle to herself quietly. She still had Jon's accidentally delivered notes on sex robots in her possession; she was keeping them as a souvenir.

"No, the thing is I've been to your world a few times," he continued. "And every time the people I've seen have been some variation of a pony."

"Well Jon, our world is inhabited by a multitude of different creatures but the most common are in fact ponies." Celestia said informatively. "Very similar to your world being mostly populated by different kinds of humans."

"I guess that makes sense," Jon retorted. "Though I have to admit with a name like Ponyville I wasn't sure what I was expecting."

Jon continued to browse through his book case till he finally found the book he was looking for. Tt was a fairy tale book, this one being a type of encyclopedia on mythical beasts. In no time at all he was back at his desk and opened the book to a random page.

"Now then back to what I was saying," he said, flipping through some pages. "My next question to you is this: are there anyone on the list who isnt a pony."

Celestia took a moment to think about that as she had to go over the list in her head by memory. Jon however had the luxury of having the list of names in his hand, ready to jot down some notes if need be.

"As a matter of fact there are some," she finally answered. "Would you like me to go into further detail?"

"Please do." Jon said, pen ready in hand.

"Well off the top of my head we have a young lady by the name of Gilda," she said. "She's a well known flyer from Cloudsdale and she happens to be a Griffon."

Jon repeated back what he just heard for clarification and quickly found her name on the list, writing next to it: "Good flyer. Griffon." His next step was going through the book of fairly tale creatures he had just procured. Eventually he found an entry for Griffon, complete with pictures and descriptions.

"I see," Jon responded. "She sounds majestic. What else do ya got?"

"Well this next individual isn't a resident of my kingdom." Celestia said. "He's something of a motivational speaker who goes from place to place."

"A motivational speaker, huh?" Jon said, his interest starting to decrease.

"Yes, his name is Iron Will," Celestia continued. "And he’s a Minotaur."

"A Minotaur, huh?" Jon said, his interest starting to increase.

Jon once again multitasked by looking through his book of creatures and the list of names. Almost at the same time he found an entry for Minotaurs and located Iron Will's name.

The picture provided in the book was a bull-faced subhuman wielding an axe and looking very ferocious. Jon's interest was replaced with suspicion as he wondered if this Iron Will motivated people or just simply scared them. He turned his attention to the list and wrote next to his name: "Minotaur. Possibly dangerous motivational speaker."

"Anyone else?" Jon asked. "Maybe someone a bit more local?"

"Well there is one who lives fairly close to Ponyville," she said. "An interesting character but I don't think she's what you’re looking for."

"Try me." Jon said, flipping back to the index section of his book.

"Well her name is Zecora and I'm fairly certain her species dwells within your world as well," she continued. "You see she's a zebra."

Jon didn't need the book for this one.

"A zebra?" He said. "Well yes we do have them here but they're only located in Africa. What does this zebra do for a living?" Celestia took a moment before responding.

"What she does is a little difficult to explain," Celestia said, "The best explanation I can give that would make sense to someone from your world is that she's a shaman who works with medicine."

Jon sat up in his chair looking as if he would spring to his feet at any moment.

"A shaman you say?" He said, looking for Zekora's name on the list. "That does sound interesting. Tell me does she use herbs and plants to make potions and stuff like that?"

"As a matter of fact she does. How very astute of you," Celestia said. "Do you have people like that in your world as well."

"You could say that," Jon said as he jotted down a phrase next to the zebra's name. "But never on my show...I've made my decision. I have an episode coming up and I would like to have her as my guest."

"A fine choice indeed," Celestia said. "I'll send word right away that I wish to speak with her." Jon stood up to put his book back.

"You know if you want I can go there myself and ask here." Jon said. "Going to your world every now and again have proved to be very rewarding at times. Plus I don't want you going out of your way because of me."

"Well Mr. Stewart, while I am appreciative of your looking out for me I don't think you'd enjoy the hands on approach in this particular case." Celestia said.

"Why do you say that?" Jon asked. "Is this Zecora not a fan of humans or something?"

"Oh no, no, nothing like that," she answered. "She's a very kind individual. It's just that her dwellings are on the outskirts of Ponyville located in the heart of a rich forest. She lives in a hut...adjacent to a swamp."

Jon stopped dead in his tracks as if someone just pointed a gun at him and told him to not move. Slowly he turned to his standing mirror and looked at the suit he was wearing, then imagined the same suit covered in a thick layer of mud.

"On second thought," Jon said. "Why don't you take care of this one. I'm tagging you in!"

"Of course," Celestia said with a slight laugh. "I'll have her in your studio the morning of your show. Have a nice day."

Jon said his farewells and with a tired sigh made his way back to his desk. All at once he collapsed in his chair rubbing his head to ward off any incoming headaches. After a moment of silence he looked over at the note he left beside Zecora's name.

Zecora- "Zebra Witch Doctor"

"This should be interesting." Jon thought.

Episode 6 [Zecora]: Please welcome to the show Zecora

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Zecora
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

Heavily edited stock footage of the streets of New York appeared on screen letting both the audiences at home and in the studio know that the show was back from its commercial break.

The audience stood and cheered as the camera did a quick loop around before zooming in on Jon. The crowd continued their praise as Jon wrote furiously in his notes, so much so that some of them escaped and fell to the ground. He grabbed whatever pages still remained and looked into the camera.

"Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentleman my guest tonight!" Jon said, slamming his palm on the desk for emphasis. "She is a local medicine woman for the town of Ponyville whose skills and knowledge have made her a well respected consort. Please welcome to the show Zecora!"

As the crowd erupted with applause a figure emerged from backstage immediately waving and smiling in their direction. Jon set a course to meet her before she got to the desk and along the way noticed a few interesting characteristics about her.

By all accounts his guest certainly looked like a zebra but at the same time she had some extra features about her. The stripes she carried were a lot more detailed than just simple up and down patterns and her cutie mark was a spiral sun. She wore what looked like gold jewelry from hear ears, hooves, and even around her neck. Aand even though he was no expert Jon thought they looked African. When he finally met with her he shook her hoof and helped her onto her seat.

One last thing he noticed as the crowd calmed down was that she was wearing a bag around her waist which looked to be bursting from the seams. Jon had hoped that it was filled with potions or something that she could demonstrate for him. Later one however he would learn that Zecora had wondered around “The Daily show” building collecting roots from office plants to bring back home with her.

"Zecora welcome to 'The Daily Show' glad you could make it!" Jon said with a smile.

"Thank you Jon and may I say, I'm very happy to be here today." Zecora said with a smile of her own. At the time Jon thought it was cute even a little funny that she rhymed on accident.

"Well I think...tha- I speak for everyone when I say we're glad you you're here too." He said stopping for a moment to let the audience finish their quick cheer. "Oh and by the way I've been researching on what zebras eat, in case you were wondering why your gift basket was filled with grass."

"Well now I feel like such a fool. I already ate and my stomachs fool." Zecora said, rubbing her belly. "I must admit it was quite a sight! Next time I'm here I'll remember to eat light."

Jon's smile slowly disappeared and his eyebrow slowly lifted in confusion. He stared at his guest for a moment before turning to the audience with the same look causing them to laugh. After a few seconds of silence Zecora began to look worried.

"Dearest Jon is something wrong? That pause you gave was slightly long." She finally said. The audience began to laugh again, with a few of them clapping as well.

"Do me a favor." Jon responded. "I want you to say anything...ju-just absolutely anything that comes to mind."

"Ok Jon I will do my best, and with luck I will to pass your test." Zecora said. "Although I'm afraid I won’t say a lot, I'm not very good at being put on the spot."

Jon looked to his audience again now with a look of astonishment as he raised his hands in the air almost as if to ask them if they knew what was going on.

"Um...I'll be honest with you Zecora I don't know much about Equestrian etiquette but I'm gonna be straight with you," he said, trying to be delicate. "Why are you rhyming?"

The question seemed to confuse Zecora who, up until now, never had anyone question her speaking style.

"This is just the way I talk, much like you and how you walk." She answered. "You walk on two legs I on four. It's just the way we are, need I say more?" The audience began to applaud which only confused Zecora more. To her she hadn't done anything to earn their admiration.

"Not at all Zecora because now I know, welcome again to my show." Jon said, trying to match her rhythm. "Talking like this is harder than I thought. I really wish I had...a rhyming dictionary."

The crowd began to laugh at the defeated host while Zecora smiled at his attempt to imitate her.

"Sorry, I'm not used to speaking like that." He said with a shrug.

"It's alright Jon I understand, talking like me was not part of your plan." Zecora said patting Jon's hand with her hoof. "I must admit you had good form, for someone who rhyming is not his norm." Jon gave her a look that suggested he was impressed.

"Wow...you must have kicked some serious ass in your creative writing courses." He said nodding his head. "Look, I don't mean to beat a dead horse here but how do you do it?" Zecora gave Jon a friendly smile but at the same time had a hard time understand his fascination with her speaking pattern.

"Well rhyming can be very tricky, the thing is to try and not be picky." She said looking at Jon and then the audience. "Others think ahead and give much thought, but for me I just make them up on the spot."

Jon took a second before speaking and then turned around in the direction of the backstage.

"Hey I'm still gonna need that rhyming dictionary!" He yelled, causing both the audience and his guest to laugh.

"So I've...I've been learning a lot about pony culture. One thing I've learned about is cutie marks." Jon said trying to sound professional. "So tell us Zecora what's your special talent? I'm guessing its freestyling?"

"My special talent is not in plain sight, allow me to help and shed some light." She said. "While your talent is to interview, mine is to make a witches brew."

"That's right you primarily make things like tonics and potions for the people of Ponyville, don't you?" Jon asked, extending his hand.

"Yes Jon that his correct, and because of this I've earned their respect." She answered.

"Now what exactly to mean by that?" Jon asked, sitting up and leaning forward. "Are you saying that at one point...they didn't like you or something?"

"At one point yes this was the case, they would run and hide when I entered their place," Zecora answered. "To look upon me no pony would dare, I guess you could say I gave them all a scare."

"It almost sounds like they had some...prejudiced towards you." Jon said, wondering if racism could even exist in such a happy place like Equestria.

"I wouldn't say it went that far, they were just scared and thought I was bizarre." She continued. "It is fine now because they’ve learned, that when I am around there's no need for concern."

"Well that's great to hear," Jon said, laughing nervously on purpose. "Because I- ha ha-- I mean, someone from Africa experiencing forms of bigotry...thats...ha ha...thats never happened before."

Zecora in a state of intrigue tilted her head to the side, she once again found herself confused by something Jon had said.

"You have my attention. My interests now piqued, what is this place of which you speak?" Zecora asked. It took a second for Jon to respond to his guest's question both because he had to wait for the audience to stop laughing and because he had to briefly recall what he said to her.

"You mean Africa?" Jon responded. "It's a place here in our world far, far away. It's the natural habitat for zebras...in addition some people who have genetic ties over there have -- lets say have had similar experiences as you did."

"How fascinating this world can be, to learn that there are others just like me." Zecora said with a look of wonder in her eyes. "Back home life is of pastel-color, but here it's not. It makes me wonder."

"So...going back to your uh-- special talent," Jon said in an attempt to change the subject. "What kinds of potions do you usually make?"

"The kinds of potions that I create, are ones that can set a pony straight." She answered. "Whether it be the sniffles or the common cold, I can cure it with herbs and mold."

"So basically you are the walking Keiser Permanente of Ponyville?" Jon asked, noticing a look of uncertainly on her face as he did. "It's a place that sells medicine."

"You’re somewhat correct except I do not charge, I give them out for free by and large." She said, now looking at the audience. "I can cure your sick using herbs and spice, and I will do it free of price."

"Wow, free medicine for everyone in town? That's a really nice of you to do, Canada." Jon said, looking impressed. "You know I gotta say, as someone who is of...Hebrew decent your making it very tempting to leave my doctor for you."

The crowd laughed at Jon while Zecora contemplated asking him what "Canada" and "Hebrew" was. She decided not to and submitted to the fact that she would just have to ask some other day.

"I mean free pills! How can I say 'no?'" Jon added giving a shrug and talking in his best stereotypical Jewish woman accent. "Free meds whenever I want? What a bargain! Now if you could only do something about that drafty window I'd be sold."

Zocora didn't understand the context of his joke but nevertheless she found his impersonation funny and was laughing as a result. Jon, seeing this, decided to see how far he could go with his Jewish woman rant.

"Now if you could give me something clear this sinus that would be-- OH by the way, I have a son who isn't seeing anyone," Jon continued, raising an arm and leaning forward. "And I would love it if he married a doctor."

Zecora finished laughing just in time to respond, though in her haste she didn't realize Jon's proposal was only in jest.

"Thank you Jon for the offer, but I feel it would not be proper." She said. "I am from Eqestria and he from New York, we're too far apart it would never work."

Jon dropped his accent to give Zecora a break but at the same time still felt like teasing her a little bit more.

"Oh I see...you’re too good for my son!" Jon said sitting up in his chair. "Or maybe it’s because YOU just don't like humans or even-- dare I say it? Jews!"

"Jon please, this is not the case! I simply adore the human race." Zecora said, once again placing her hoof on his hand. "I'm too busy with work to have any fun, I'd never have time to court your son."

It was at more or less this point that Jon wondered if his stripped guest understood the subtleties of sarcasm.

"Thought if being with a human is what I had to do, I think I would rather be with someone like you." Zecora said. She began to turn red when the audience cooed at her advances.

"Someone like me?" Jon asked, adjusting his tie and sucking in his stomach. "Wha-Whatever do you mean?"

Zecora took a second to answer Jon’s question while her face continued its present shade of red.

"Even though you don't live where I do, you are very kind and quite a view." She answered. "You look really nice with your hair and suit--"

"It almost sounds like you think I'm cute." Jon interjected. Before Zecora could explain herself Jon picked up his notes and again changed his voice, this time to that of a southern belle.

"Oh well I do declare Ms. Zecora! I do believe you have me all in a fluster!" Jon said, fanning himself with his notes. "I mean good heavens my Papa would never allow the union of myself and a zebra...I suppose if do feel that strongly towards me I'll allow you to escort me to the Cotillion, but nothing more!"

Unbeknownst to Jon there was actually a kernel of truth in his jesting. For awhile now Zecora had thought the streaks of white and black in Jon's hair made him look rather handsome for a human. But in her embarrassment she decided to tell a little fib to avoid suspicion.

"Why Mr. Stewart you are quite bold...buuuut I'm afraid you’re just too old." She said, putting her hooves over her face to hide her blushing expression.

Jon wanted to take this moment to make a: "Whats black and white and red all over" joke but decided to not tease his guest any further than he already had.

"Too old?" Jon said, as he hung his head in shame. "I uh...I think I would've much rather heard 'being Jewish' as your reason."

This time Jon's humorous intent was loud and clear to Zecora. She found herself joining the crowd in laughter though she was still slightly blushing.

"So...going back to your private practice," Jon continued. "Could you explain to us exactly what...I guess what qualifies you to make these medicines? Like, how do you make them in the first place? Do you grow your own supplies or just have access to your own material, or what?"

"It's no secret to my success, allow me to explain there's no need to guess." She said, trying to her best to not sound boastful. "Being able to distribute medicine into circulation, is very easy because of my location."

"Your location?" Jon wondered aloud. "You mean you-- the fact that you live in a forest?"

"That is correct Jon for you see, it’s proved to be very helpful towards me. In the forest many ingredients can be found, a lot of which are on the ground.” Zecora answered. “There are so many things of which to use, all you need to do is pick and choose. It may be filled with untamed forces but it’s a handy place to find resources.”

“So for the most part you’re the only one who ever goes in the forest?” Jon asked

“You are right. What you say is true, ponies must be cautions when they walk through. It’s the kind of place that has very little sun, it’s definitely not for everyone.” Zecora said, sounding as if she was telling a ghost story. “You can easily get lost within its trees, you can’t just come and go as you please. The animals range from dangerous to quirky, plus the terrain can be shallow and murky.”

“Shallow and Murky huh? Sounds like my ex-girlfriend. BOOM!” Jon yelled as he violently pumped his fist. “BOOM!”

Jon waited for both the audience to stop laughing and for the pain in his shoulder to come to a stop before continuing.

“Now…location aside I understand you are also very knowledgeable and worldly,” Jon continued. “I hear the residents of Ponyville come to you quite often because you, more than anyone else, have vast amounts of knowledge when it comes to these kinds of things. Am I-- am I right?”

“Well I for one I do not like to boast, but when it comes to illnesses they come to me the most,” Zecora said as her ears drooped down in humility. “I know a lot about what makes you sick, and can provide the right medicine to do the trick.”

"Is that so? Well it sounds like Ponyville is very lucky to have someone like you." Jon said, his hand stroking his chin. "But tell me-- and I know we've already discussed this. But why not charge people for your services? You always have a steady flow of customers and resources; you could be making a lot of money."

Jon was certain that Zecora would take awhile to respond but to his surprise she answered right away.

"I've been blessed with my talent and wits, I have no desire for earthly bits. I simply wish to do good deeds, and I do so by tending to other’s needs." Zecora answered. "Helping others fills my heart with glee, and that is why I do it for free."

Jon was about to speak but could not as the crowd's cheers of approval, directed at Zecora, made it impossible for anyone to hear him.

"You know Zecora...I've been listening to you for a little while now and I gotta say the evidence is really piling up here." Jon said, hoping she would take his bait.

"I don't know this 'evidence' of which you speak, an explanation is what I now seek." Zecora said, her eyebrows slightly ruffled.

"Allow me to explain," Jon continued. "You live in a swamp, you're considered to be a very wise person, you're very kind in nature, and you talk in an interesting way...your mother fucking Yoda aren't you!"

The audience began laughing at Jon's whimsical comparison. But Zecora looked as confused as she had for a good portion of the interview. Jon noticed this and decided to go into further detail before she started asking questions.

"H-he's a little green warrior who, in many ways, is a lot like you." Jon explained. "He's also like 900 years old so he's old...oh and can like move things with his mind...so yeah he's pretty cool!" Looking back Jon sometimes wondered if he should've mentioned that he also wasn't real.

"This Yoda sounds like he's strong and great, for someone in his present state." She said, her eyes now filled with wonder. "I'm sure living that long has made him wise, I hope to meet him before he dies"

"Well I'll tell you what, if you ever see Celestia again ask her to teleport you to him.” Jon said as he wrote directions on his notes. “He's located in the Dagobah system a few lightyears away from planet Hoth...oh and if you find yourself on planet Alderaan you've gone too far."

"Thank you Jon. I'll make the request, I just hope he'll have me as his guest." Zecora said, taking Jon’s note and putting it in her bag.

"I'm...sure he will. But listen before you go could you stick around for a few more minutes and we'll throw the rest on the web?" Jon asked.

"Of course Jon I would love to stay, this certainly has been quite a day!" Zecora answered. “If you want I’ll stay for more than a ‘few,’ I find it a joy to be talking with you.”

"Excellent! Thanks again for being here today.” Jon added. "Zecora everyone! We'll be right back."

As the camera begins ascending upwards and away from the two, the crowd jumped to their feet and begin to cheer for more. The last imagery that anyone sees is Jon whispering something in Zecora's ear and afterwards Zecora doing the same to Jon. Soon the only thing visible to the viewers is the show's logo appearing suddenly and disappearing following with it another commercial break.

Episode 7 [Mayor Mare]: The phone call

Many changes occurred at the Daily Show office ever since Jon started doing "Equestrian Interviews." Out of all of them probably the biggest was the huge influx of interns he had to hire to answer the phones. At first Jon thought his present staff and assistant could handle the day to day phone calls from people asking about the ponies he had on his show.

But the more citizens from Equestria he interviewed the more people called, all of whom were turned away or denied further information. It had gotten to the point where Jon's current staff couldn't perform their regular duties due to the seemingly infinite invasion of phone calls. To counteract this he hired new interns, almost doubling the amount of employees he had.

The decision to hire so many unpaid workers didn't entirely sit well with him. When anyone came to work in an environment like the Daily Show they carry with them the assumption that they would have more hands duties to the show's production, as opposed to simply answering phones all day.

Though for the most part the men and woman who applied did so willingly, even after Jon's assistant Selina Jenson briefed them on what their one and only Job was. Overall it seemed as though they were just happy to working on the show...plus more interns meant more opportunities to Photoshop them in funny pictures for future segments.

Even Jon himself took the occasional phone call but this was usually from his own cellphone. These were usually calls from friends in the entertainment business cutting out the middle man and doing an end-run around his wall of interns.

These calls usually ranged from past business acquaintances to well known celebrities. He mostly answered these calls out of respect but sometimes if he was busy he'd let them go to voice mail. There were some incidents where the caller was too important to ignore; at one point he even got a call from an official in the White House of all places.

But no matter who it was or how famous they were Jon always told them the same thing. He couldn't talk bout it...that is until one night he got a phone call from a friend who was probably the most powerful of them all. Someone who he couldn't ignore or take lightly.

"Celestia?" Jon thought, as he stared at the name blinking on his phone. "Celestia is calling...me?" Jon sat at the foot of his bed and begin to piece together what this meant.

In the short time span of their partnership Jon could never recall a single moment where Celestia was the one calling him. Even when she first made contact she did so through a letter requesting that he call her. Ever since then whenever Jon needed to make a request for a someones appearance, or some general information, he would get into contact with her.

But this was different.

The sound of his cellphone calling out to him broke Jon from his daze and he immediately clicked on the answering key, unsure of what he was getting into.

"Hello?" Jon said.

"Greetings Jon," Celestia replied. "How are we doing this fine evening?"

"Oh well I'm fine," he answered, rubbing his tired eyes. "And yourself."

"Just splendid," she responded. "I hope I didn't call you at a bad time?"

"Hey that's my line!" Jon said. He wanted to mention that he was about to go to bed but decided against it.

"Oh yes I suppose it is," she said, sharing a quick laugh with him. "I imagine you're wondering why I've called you tonight."

"Oh, who me? Naaah." Jon replied. "You know being the important celebrity that I am I'm always getting phone calls from royalty at the dead of night. Why just the other day Queen Elizabeth II called me up cause she wanted to borrow my weed whacker."

Celestia laughed for a second time making Jon wonder if she genuinely thought he was funny or if she was just being polite.

"I'll be honest...I am a bit curious as to why you're the one calling me." Jon said. "Usually its the other way around; what is this opposite day?

Just as he asked his question a thought manifested in his head. This might not be a social call at all. Maybe something had happened; an emergency of some sorts perhaps. In which case he figured he should stop joking around for a second.

"Wait is something wrong? You're not in any kind of trouble are you?" Jon asked.

"Oh no everything is quite alright," Celestia answered. "Actually I'm calling because an associate of mine has expressed interest in speaking with you."

"An associate?" Jon asked. "Wait someone from Equestria wants to talk with me?...This really is opposite day."

"She's actually a very important pony to the citizens of Ponyville," She added. "But I'll understand if you're too busy to speak with her."

"No, no, its fine. I'll be more than happy to talk to..." Jon said, leaving his statement to float for a bit so Celestia could interject.

"Mayor Mare." Celestia said. "Her name is Mayor Mare. I'll patch her through right now."

"Mayor Mare?" Jon thought, as the line started changing in pitch and volume, struggling to reconnect. "What the hell kind of a name is--

"Hello?" A voice said over Jon's phone. "Can anypony hear me?"

"Uh yeah I can hear you." Jon said. Even though he couldn't see the mysterious caller he could tell, based on her voice, she was an older woman. Maybe late 40's.

"Oh splendid!" The voice said. "Am I speaking with Mr. Jon Stewart?"

"Yes...yes you are," Jon said as he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry but who is this?"

"Oh dear, where are my manners?" The voice said, clearing her throat. "My name is Mayor Mare and I'm the Mayor of the district of Ponyville." Jon inferred before hand, based on her name, that this was the case. Though he refused to believe it till he heard it himself.

A blood-born member of royalty had just introduced Jon to a duly elected civil servant. The absurdity of it was enough to make Jon compress his face in disbelief; this was certainly a first for him.

"Well its a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Mayor." Jon said with a stretch. "If you're calling to inform me on Ponyville's latest legislative policies I should warn you I'm a little out of your jurisdiction."

"Oh my!" Mayor said with a chuckle. "They were right about you. Quick on hooves as always it seems."

"Ma'am I don't mean to sound rude," Jon said as he rubbed his eyes, "But it is late and my wife will kill me I don't--"

"Oh I am sorry! I forget that our time zones don't exactly synch up," she interrupted. "Anyway as I said before I am the Mayor of Ponyville and it's my understanding that you have a show coming up in a few days. If it's alright with you I would like to throw my hat into the ring, so to speak, and humbly request that you allow me on your show as the next guest on "Equestrian Interviews!"

And another first.

Jon was no stranger to people coming in contact with him with the sole intention of appearing on his show, politicians especially were among the most guilty of this. It was actually a very regular occurrence and in Jon's experience they all usually did so with ulterior motives.

But in this case he had never had someone from Equestria call him offering themselves as a guest. In time though he would learn that there were in fact many others who wanted to but lacked that knowledge of how to get in contact with him.

"Are you still there?" The Mayor asked.

"Uh yeah I'm still here." Jon answered. "And I appreciate your offer but--"

"Now before you make your decision." She interjected. "Allow me to present my credentials. I've been the Mayor at Ponyville for over 10 years now, elected three times by landslide results, and I've never had a single scandal!"

Jon had to admit that this was all very impressive, though from an entertainer's point of view her last achievement wasn't a good selling point in her favor.

"Well that's all very nice," Jon added. "But I've actually been planning a schedule ahead of time and I'm not sure if I can--

"Now Mr. Stewart before you say anything else let me say that I do know where you're coming from," she interjected again. "I understand that you like to make these kinds of decisions yourself and I can respect that. But at the same time we both know politics plays a big role on your show. It's practically your bread and butter."

"She certainly does sound like a politician." Jon thought to himself, as he was slowly starting to give in to her argument.

"So would it not make sense for you to have someone like me on your show?" She added. "Imagine the kind of ratings you could get with a tag line like 'Jon interviews his first pony politician!'" Although Jon wasn't entirety fond of her approach he had to admit she had a good point.

He had nothing against her personally; his distaste purely stemmed from her poor timing. He'd had a long day.

"If I say yes will you let me go to sleep?" Jon asked, already writing himself a reminder to call Jenson in the morning.

"Of course!" She replied.

"Ok then, in that case the next appearance slot is yours." Jon said, his tired demeanor clearly present. "Have Celestia transport you to the studio on Monday and my assistant will take care of the rest."

"Oh thank you Mr. Stewart!" She said with enough enthusiasm for both herself and Jon. "I look forward to meeting you in person. Good night!"

Jon sat there listening to the dead ringtone for a good ten seconds before falling backwards on his bed.

"A pony politician." He thought with a laugh. "They actually have government...and here I thought their world was perfect."

Episode 7 [Mayor Mare]: Please welcome to the show Mayor Mare

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Mayor Mare (Mayor)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

After another somewhat lengthy commercial break "The Daily Show" returned to it's final segment of the night. The screams of joy coming from the audience indicated that the upcoming segment was none other than the interview portion of the show between Jon and his guest.

The camera very quickly zoomed in on Jon who was seen playing with his chair. Swiveling back and forth while adjusting his height, idly looking everywhere but straight ahead at the camera. After a few seconds of nothing but cheering Jon finally sits up in his chair, notes in hand, and begins to address the public.

"Welcome to 'The Daily Show,' we have a very special guest tonight!" Jon said as he quickly stretched both arms behind his back. "She is the mayor of Ponyville currently on her third term. Please welcome to the show Mayor Mare!"

The crowd applauded at the guest of evening who made her way onto the stage. She wasted no time and was already waving at the audience, walking at a slow pace giving her more time to do so.

Her coat was very light brown and her mane had various shades of light grey. She wore very professional looking gold rimmed glasses, and much like Octavia she had a loose collar. Instead of a bowtie however she wore a teal colored neck warmer. All this (plus the tone of her voice) gave the impression that she was much older than the other ponies Jon had on his show in the past.

Jon met with her halfway on stage and shook her hoof, stopping briefly to let those in the audience take a picture of two.

When Jon tried to guide Mayor Mare to his desk she stood on her hind legs and grabbed his hand with both hooves to keep him in place, prolonging their photo-op. Jon tried to respectfully break free but his grey haired guest wouldn't allow it. Eventually Jon gave in and continued to wave at the audience while simultaneously shaking her hoof.

After an appropriate amount of time had passed (Appropriate to Mayor Mare) the two made their way to the center of the stage; as usual Jon offered his guest a seat and he took his. More waiting occurred but this time for the audience to calm down which wasn't helped by the Mayor who was still waving at them.

"Welcome to the show, Mayor Mare!" Jon yelled over the crowd. "Glad you could make it!"

"Thank you Jon!" She fired back. "And please call me Mayor. Everypony else does."

"No problem. So...I-- if you don't mind I'm gonna get right to the chase," Jon continued. "You...you're the mayor of Ponyville, right?"

"Well that's what it says in the record books," she answered with her head held high. "Voted Mayor three times, thank you very much!"

"See that's the thing...I was under the impression that Equestria was a monarchy." He continued. "I mean I'm met with your princess and she seems to call the shots around those parts. Granted from what I recall she doesn't live in Ponyville...but doesn't rule the land?"

"Well yes your assumption is partly correct but what one needs to understand is there are differently bodies of government in different parts of Equestria. All working differently but all under the rule of the princess." The Mayor said, looking more at the camera than Jon.

"You see that to me just seems very bizarre." Jon added. "I mean how can a system like Ponyville's, which is a democracy, work under the princess. Someone of royalty."

To his surprise the Mayor was very quick to answer almost as if she had been planning for every possible scenario of questioning.

"I realize it can be very difficult for an outsider such as yourself to understand." She said, sounding not at all condescending. "For the most part the princess is a very hoofs off kinda dictator. She lets places like Cloudsdale and of course Ponyville conduct themselves how they want and only intervenes whenever she feels its absolutely necessary."

"I see. I think I'm starting to understand a little bit more." Jon said, stroking his chin. "We have a somewhat similar thing here in America where we have both federal and state laws. The federal law embodies the entire nation while the state laws vary depending on where you live."

"Oh how fascinating!" The Mayor replied. She leaned forward by putting her front hooves on the desk. "Tell me though, does your world have any bodies of royalty?"

"Well there are some sovereign nations in the world who still have acting members of their Royal family." Jon answered. "The most famous of which is our greatest ally England. They themselves still have their Queen but she's largely just a figure head. Even they run their country as a democracy."

"So there's no queen here in New York?" The Mayor asked.

"Well actually that's not true...If you head on down to lower Manhattan you'll find a whole bunch of queens." Jon said, clearing this throat over the crowd's laughter. "And for the right price they'll show you their own royal bodies."

Although she didn't understand the term "queens" Mayor Mare could grasp the context of the joke and as as result laughed accordingly.

"Also before we go one I'd like to ask you something...as a Mayor I mean." Jon continued. "Ok here's the thing...our mayor here in New York recently passed a law that I would like to get your opinion on if you don't mind."

"Certainly." The Mayor said, motioning for Jon to continue. He does by briefly bending down to get something from under his desk and placing it in front of her.

What Jon had retrieved was two 16 ounce cups: one filled with soda and the other about half way filled with 25 grams of Marijuana. Mayor Mare showed no signs of understanding or confusion but just simply took turns starting at both Jon and the audience who were cheering him on.

"Now...now this cup is filled with Coke and this one is filled with weed." Jon said pausing to let the crowd finish their cheering. "So as a mayor yourself wha-- which of these do you think is more illegal."

Mayor Mare was about to speak but was cut off by an audience member giving an audible scream of approval. After a quick laugh she responded.

"Well Jon I'm afraid I won't be of much use to you here," she said, looking at both containers. "I'm not exactly sure what any of these are." Jon leaned forward to point at each container in an effort to help her understand.

"Well this is Marijuana. Its a type of plant that humans use for medical reasons or recreational use." He explained. "And this is Coke, it's a soft drink product. Currently in New York if you're caught with this much weed that's a $100 fine...but if you're caught selling this much soda that's a $200 fine. I just want to get your take on this."

"Well with all due respect I don't feel comfortable giving my opinion on the plant since I'm not fully aware of its properties," The Mayor said. "But as for the soft drink we actually have a similar product back in Ponyville. Its produced and distributed by the Apple family, and I can't imagine putting a tariff on such a poplar drink."

"So you wouldn't criminalized it like our Mayor did with soda?" Jon asked.

"No, no I wouldn't." She responded. "Ponies love it so doing that just seems, excuse my language but, stupid."

"THANK YOU!" Jon said, causing the crowd to roar with excitement. While Mayor Mare was waving to them yet again Jon took the time to put away both containers.

"Now uh...lets continue. So how did you become the Mayor?" Jon asked. "Is being a politician your special talent or something?"

"Well Jon my life story has always revolved around Ponyville," she answered. "I was born there and that's where I grew up."

"Ah, a hometown hero, huh?" Jon interjected.

"That's right; born and raised." She said proudly. "And as for my special talent well growing up my mother was always working so, being the eldest sibling out of five, a lot of the day to day responsibilities around the house fell on me. It was then that I discovered I was a natural born leader when I could...rally my brothers a sisters to help me."

"So I'm guessing you made your siblings do all the work while you sat and watch?" Jon asked, getting a quick laugh from all who heard. "Typical politician."

"No trust me it wasn't like that. I just found that I had a gift for micro-management as well as public speaking." She continued. "So when I got older I wanted to use these talents to help the town I loved for so long, and that's when i decided to run for office...to help the great people of Ponyville!"

Jon took a second for the audience to stop applauding before responding.

"Speaking of the people of Ponyville not too long ago I got a chance to interview one of your citizens," Jon continued, "You may know her she's the school teacher, Ms. Cheerilee."

"Oh yes of course I know Ms. Cheerilee." The Mayor responded.

"Well last time she was on the show she told me something very interesting." He continued. "She told me that education in Equestria never gets cut. Now as the mayor of Ponyville could you...I guess give us further detail on this or like-- is that really true?"

"Well as someone who is largely responsible with handling Ponyville's funding I can say for certainty that yes that is the case." She answered.

"So you never cut their funding-- wow, I find that to be just very inspiring." He responded.

"As a matter a fact a lot of our funding goes to education," The Mayor continued, now turning to the camera. "Our children's future is very important and as Mayor of Ponyville I have continued uphold my promises to never cut funding to education." Jon began to wonder if she was sitting on an office chair or a soap box.

"Why is it that you're so surprised by that?" The Mayor asked. "Don't your schools get funding?"

"Generally speaking we do," Jon answered. "It's just that when it comes to America education gets a very small percentage of our overall funds. It usually ranks at the lowest and it's always the first to get cut."

"Then where does the rest of it go to?" She asked, taking down mental notes.

"Well of course it goes to other facets of life such as: transportation, healthcare, environment," Jon explained. "But much like education those don't much either...no, what gets the most funding here is our military."

"How very interesting," The mayor replied. "That certainly does explain a lot. You see unlike your country Ponyville doesn't have a military. As a matter of fact very few places in Equestria do."

"Is that right? So...how do you guys protect yourselves?" Jon asked, unsure if lack of a military was entirely a good or bad thing.

"Well sometimes we do get help from Canterlot," She responded. "There are royal guards located there who help keep the peace, but as you might guess they're primarily located with royal members of the family."

"I'll be honest Mayor...it sounds like Ponyville gets the short end of the stick here." Jon said. "They...they get the royal family, who governs the land, and all the muscle. What does Ponyville get?"

"Well don't get me wrong we're not defenseless," The Mayor said. "While its true that yes we do lack a military it is also everyponies civic duty to help protect Ponyville. To that end whenever calamity finds it's way to our doorstep we always have able bodied colts and mares willing to help. Some more than others."

"Alright then, but let me give you a scenario." Jon said, trying to be serious with the issue. "Lets say there's a hurricane over the coast and its headed right towards Ponyville. You have 24 hours till it hits. What do you do?"

"Well in that case first and foremost I'd do a complete evacuation of the town just in case we couldn't stop it," She said, causing Jon to look puzzled. "Next I'd gather every Pegasus I could find, brief them on the issue and have them try to disperse or at the very least send the hurricane back to coast line. I'd also probably have Rainbow Dash leading the group."

Unknown to Jon her answer was actually a very "by the book" response. The scenario that he had presented her was actually one that Ponyville had practiced for in the past, usually by running hurricane and evacuation drills.

"I'm sorry." Jon said. "But did you say the Pegasus ponies would...'send it back?'"

"That is correct Jon." She answered, noticing the continued look of confusion on his face. "Oh, dont you know?...A Pegasus can control the weather."

The crowd laughed at Jon who was now leaning way back in his chair and throwing his arms up in disbelief. He wanted to keep his line of questions serious but to him this new bit of information was an open invitation to throw all sense of professionalism out the window.

Ok then how bout this! So lets say, oh I don't knooow...a stranger suddenly and without warning appears in Ponyville," Jon continued, giving a overly dramatic shrug. "A handsome stranger belonging to a species you've never seen before and citizens are scared. What do you do."

As always the Mayor was quick to respond, with both an answer and chuckle.

"Well Jon I'll tell you. We would probably have our brightest minds come together to determine what species it is and if it's dangerous. Knowing my citizens one Twilight Sparkle would definitely volunteer to do this." She answered confidently. "Next, assuming the creature is friendly, I would personally welcome him or her to the town and try to see if it needs help."

"Alright I'll give you that one...next scenario!" Jon said dramatically. "The entire town's supply of pastries have become sentient and they have decided to rise up against the citizens of Ponyville for eating their brothers and sisters! Their on the attack and half of Ponyville has been taken over. What do you do?"

"Oh that is a tough one. Well in this case my first task would probably be to gather up the hungriest ponies in town to fight on the front line, holding them off while everyone else escapes to Sweet Apple Acres for shelter." The Mayor said trying not to laugh. "If we need to we'll use the Everfree forest as a strategic checkpoint since we know it's layout better than them. Since we're were talking about pastries here I know dear Pinkie Pie would be the first to volunteer for sure."

"Not bad. Ok prepare yourself because this next one is a doozy!" He said cracking his knuckles. "Hitler himself has just been resurrected by Lex Luther as Mecha-Hitler! He invades Ponyville on the back of a fire breathing T-Rex AND the royal guards are no where to be found! The only thing that can kill him is if you clog his 'Mayor shaped' exhaust port causing him to blow up Death Star style...what do you do!"

This time around the political Earthpony couldn't help but laugh at Jon's outrageous scenario. The audience joined her while Jon deviously tented his fingers, waiting for her answer.

"I'm sorry Jon but...seeing as how I have no idea who or what any of those are I'm afraid I can't tell you what I'd do if that happened." The Mayor said, still laughing.

"And you call yourself Mayor!" Jon yelled, slamming his fists on the table in jest. Jon sat there jokingly shaking his head back and forth while the audience continued laughing along with Mayor Mare. She eventually regained her composure only to wait for the audience to do the same.

"I should probably invite you to future town hall debates," she said, taking a sip of her water. "You certainly would attract a large turnout with hot button issues like those."

"Well call me politically active but I just feel like the good people of Ponyville deserve to know how their leader could handle these kinds of situations." Jon said putting his hands in front of him. "I mean if you can't even handle robo-Hitler I'm not sure I should vote for you."

"Hey now I've handled plenty of disasters in Ponyville," The Mayor interjected slyly. "All of which were very much real I might add."

"Oh this is real! No one ever expects a pastry inquisition but it could happen!" Jon said, vigorously nodding his head. "But no really, uh go ahead. Please share with us some of your experiences; I'm sure someone in your position has seen their fair share of interesting occurrences."

"I have!" The Mayor responded. "Why just recently the town was hit with a crippling milk shortage incident. And to makes things worse it was around the same time Pinkie had her week long chocolate chip cookie sale."

"Wow. That sounds like...a crisis of the highest caliber," Jon said with an expression of fake surprise. "So tell us how did you handle the incident?"

"Well everypony in town wanted milk but it was my responsibility to make sure everypony got a fair amount each," She said. "So I passed a law into effect where each pony could only have a certain amount of milk per day, restricting them to only what was necessary."

"I can't imagine that went over so fell." Jon said.

"I'll admit It wasn't the most popular of laws. We had some ponies who were irate by the fact that I was telling them how much they could have," the Mayor responded. "But by doing this I made sure everypony got the necessary amount of milk needed; No more no less. And within a short period of time the caravans of milk made their way back to Ponyville and all was well."

"So you managed to fix that particular problem for good?" Jon asked.

"Yes I did. And ever since then it hasn't happened again and we've set up backup rations of milk just in case it does." She answered.

"Ok how bout this," Jon continued. "Are there any ongoing problems facing Ponyville at the movement...problems that you haven't--"

"Well it's funny that you mention that," The Mayor answered. "For awhile now we've had this problem of dealing with a pesky cult that's been running around town."

"There's a cult in Ponyville?" Jon asked with a nervous laugh.

"Yes, they worship this thing called 'Smooze,'" she explained, waving her hoof as if do dismiss them. "And they're responsible for all kinds of criminal activities in the area."

"What kind of criminal activities?" He asked.

"Mostly just petty crimes like putting 'kick me' signs on livestock and flushing the toilet while you're still in the shower." The Mayor answered.

"Well then why don't you just arrest them?" Jon asked.

"The problem is we know they're doing these things but we can never catch them in the act," she continued. "Not to mention we have no idea who their leader is or where they operate."

"Maybe I can help," Jon said as he faced the camera with a serious look on his face. "Attention leader of cult Smooze...I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money...because I work on cable TV. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long somewhat successful career. I might find you, and I will kill you...unless you're bigger than me then I'll just have someone else do it."

The crowd laughed while Mayor Mare did her best to not spit out the water she had foolishly tried to drink beforehand.

"There ya go," Jon said. "That should coax him outa hiding."

"Well thank you Jon," She said with an ever present smile. "If by some chance that works I'll make sure you get credited but I should warn...I've been doing this for a long time now and that's not the proper way to handle the situation."

"Oh really! So then tell me 'Mayor,' what is the proper pay?" Jon asked after the crowd died down somewhat. "When you get confronted with these day-to-day problems around town how do you deal with it?

"Well first, I consider all the options that I have, as well as all the resources that are available to me to deal with said problem." She said, making sure to face the camera every now and again. "Then I carefully commit to the idea that's most beneficial to the the people overall as opposed to just one or a few subsets. If I'm ever really stuck I just take a second to think 'WWCD'....'What would Celestia do?' You would not believe how much that helps."

"I think she'd just fly in the air and fix everything with her super magic." Jon said bluntly, causing everyone in attendance to laugh. "I mean, don't take this the wrong way but, she has the power of magic and flight and you're an Earthpony...she's basically your god. Soooo I can't help but feel that you're setting yourself up by unrealistic standards."

As both the audience and guest laughed Jon took the momentary break to reach for the cup of soda from before and take a gulp before starting again.

"So what's new in your life?" Jon said, leaning back in his chair. "We've been talking about what's already happened in your life but I want to know what you're doing nowadays."

The question caused a bright smile to appear on Mayor Mare's face. It was the kind of smile that all politicians get whenever asked that question.

"I'm glad you asked Jon!" She said enthusiastically. "I'm actually campaigning at the moment. I'm up for re-election in a few months."

"Oh how nice." Jon said. "Well I'm sure being on the show will...help you a lot." It was around this time that Jon began to understand things a little more clearly.

"I'm sure it will," she responded. "And while I'm here I think I would like to take this time do address my constituents. David could I please get a close up."

Jon was surprised to find out that she actually knew the name of his camera man. His surprised expression would have been visible to the rest of the world but by then the camera had already focused on Mayor Mare.

"Greetings citizens of Ponyville! It is I your Mayor." She said looking directly at the camera. "As you may know by now it's election season and some of you may not know who to vote for yet, and that's OK. Because I'm here to help guide you."

While She was making her speech Jon was trying his best to get on screen be leaning over the desk and poking his head into the shot.

"I have provided a video that will hopefully answer all your questions," She continued. "Chuck! Roll 2-12!"

"Wait what!?" Jon said, still trying to get in the shot. Before he could say or do anything else the screen faded to black and a video appeared in it's place.

The video opened with Mayor Mare sitting at a desk in what appeared to be her office. Certain points of the video faded to stock footage of herself walking and talking with other ponies.

"Oh Hello, I didn't see you there. You know a lot of things have been said leading up to this election; some true and others false. Well, as Mayor it is my duty to set things straight for those of you who are confused.

My opponent Berry Punch would like to have you believe that I've been in office too long and that a change in power in necessary. But you know what I say? I say why fix what isn't broken. Under my leadership Ponyville as seen a huge growth in its economy as well as lowered taxes in just the last year!

What has Berry Punch done in the last year? Oh nothing except getting charged with a DUI!

So please vote for me, Mayor Mare! Because under my administration I promise to make Ponyville the Envy of all Equestria!

Do you really want this to be the face of Ponyville!?... I know I don't."
Paid for by the friends and family of "Four more years of Mayor Mare"

The video faded away to a shot of both Jon and Mayor Mare at their desk being applauded by the audience. Mayor Mare, realizing this, waved at the audience while Jon sat in his chair eating out of a bag of popcorn and wearing 3D glasses.

"Wow. Sounds like...sounds like this Berry Punch is in for one hell of a ride." He said, taking of the glasses and putting away his popcorn. "Now I know why you wanted to come on the show."

"Oh Jon I assure this was all very last minute." The Mayor said, avoiding eye contact by waving at the audience. Even though he felt like he was being used Jon admired his guest's sense of moxy. Though at the same time he felt that she wasn't leaving without a coming under fire just a little bit.

"So you're up for re-election. That's great!" Jon said. "Now obviously you've done a lot of good for Ponyville but in the video you claim that a lot of things things have been said by both parties. Some true and others false. So riddle me this...what is your opponent saying about you that is true?"

For the first time Mayor Mare was caught off guard by a question. So much so that she inadvertently answered with the truth.

"Oh we...she's running on a platform called "Protect Ponyville," the Mayor said rubbing the back of her head. "She's claiming that under my leadership we're defenseless from outside attacks."

"Why does she think that?" Jon asked. "Has Ponyville been invaded before?"

"...You could say that." She said with a guilty smile. "Anyway aren't we overdue for a commercial break?"

"Not even close!" Jon said shaking his head. "Please...enlighten us about these attacks."

With a quick sigh Mayor Mare put her hoof up to her chin to try and recollect.

"Well...one that comes to mind is the Parasprite incident that happened awhile back," she said. "They're a type of bug that can multiply quickly and we had to get rid of them since they were eating all our food."

"Well that's not so bad," Jon said. "I mean every town has some kind of pest prob--"

"And of course not too long ago Cerberus escaped from his cage in the underworld, and was running amoke in our town," she continued. "And that wasn't even the fist time an animal was loose in Ponyville. Before that we had a giant cosmic bear appear in the town square."

"O-oh I see," Jon said in astonishment. "Well I mean I don't think one could hardly classify animals finding their way in your town an invasion I mean it's not like--

"And then there was the time Nightmare Moon invaded Ponvyille and kidnapped the Princess Celestia," the Mayor interrupted. "Or the time the God of Chaos broke free from his prison and for awhile took over the town."

Jon listened in disbelief at the several accounts that she continued to list, all the while rethinking his next visit.

"You know how before you said you don't have a military," Jon asked, not even waiting for her to respond. "Well I think it's time you invested in a motherfucking military!"

"I've...already made a note to address that during a future debate." She responded looking as guilty as ever.

"Quick question though regarding all those incidents," Jon said, pausing for emphasis. "I mean who-- how did you respond to them individually?"

"Well I did my best to handle each situation," she responded. "But if you're asking who eventually got ride of the invaders it was either one of the members of 'The Elements of Harmony' or in some cases all six of them."

"Ah I've heard of them," Jon responded. "Matter of fact you mentioned them earlier on in this interview as well."

"Well when it comes to both the safety of our town and Equestria they really are some of my-- our best resources." She said with a smile. "You should invite another one of them on your show."

"You know what? That's not a bad idea." Jon said as he scooted closer to his guest. "Listen we're out of time but thank you for being here today, you were a wonderful guest and I wish the best of luck to you in your upcoming election."

"Thank you Jon!" The Mayor replied. "I had a great time today."

"Mayor Mare everyone! We'll be right back!" Jon said as the electrified crowd stood to applaud.

The last scene shown to the public is Jon whispering something in Mayor Mare's ear. The Mayor seized the moment of up close intimacy by pinning a "Vote for Mayor Mare" button on his lapel. The camera slowly paned away from Jon pointing to his newly acquired button and talking to the Mayor who responded by offering him more of them. Eventually the camera made its way to the upper right corner of the stuido where the show's logo reappears and faded to black then to another commercial.

Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: The idea

As the sun rose over the skyline of Manhattan the sound of Jon's alarm turning on awoke him from his deep sleep.

"...for it is written in the book of 2nd Samuel: 'His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who--'"

Jon slammed on snooze button ending the pastor's sermon. Instead of an old fashion alarm clock Jon's morning wakeup call was provided by a radio set to a Catholic broadcast station, because (as he would tell anyone who asked) nothing wakes you up in the morning like an old man yelling at you that you're going to hell.

Jon was on the fourth day of his week long vacation. Comedy Central had given him another break since he first started "Equestrian Interviews," only now he was using the time away from the office to spend time with his family. But as his little vacation was quickly coming to a close he started to realize that he needed a new guest for the return show...and since it would be the first show since the break he wanted that guest to be special. To be Equestrian.

Jon slowly made his way down the stairs to the living room, each step bringing with it a creaking sound as if the house was trying to communicate with him. He eventually found his way to the kitchen where his children we're already eating and his wife, Tracey McShane, had just finished putting the final touches on his breakfast. Scrambled eggs, toast, and waffles.

"Hey kids," He said to the children at the table who didn't say anything back as their mouths were full. He followed the smell of food and quickly made his way to Tracey, giving her a hug from behind.

"Mmmm looks good!" Jon said, noticing that his breakfast was slightly different than his kid's. "Oh what, I don't get any bacon?"

"Not after your last trip to the doctor," she said, waving a spatula in his face. "Lower your cholesterol and then we'll talk, mister. Also you just get egg whites." The two kids present snickered in the corner at the sight of their father being scolded.

"Daddies in trouble!" One of them gleefully said as Jon took his plate of food.

After a quick peck on cheek he joined his kids Nathan and Maggie who were almost finished with their breakfast. Jon began to feast on the meal laid out in front of him but not even his wife's good cooking could take his mind off of work.

It was still somewhat early to be thinking about his next guest appearance but for Jon it was hard not to as he usually had some ideas floating around in his head. One of which was to invite a member of "The Elements of Harmony" on the program again. The last time he did was so with Applejack and as he recalled the ratings that time around were some of the highest. But that was just one idea out of many.

But even before all the Jon still wanted to do his homework on who each individual pony was instead of his usual routine of blindly picking a guest and hoping they'll turn out to be good. Jon continued to ponder what his next move would be but it didn't last long as his train of thought was derailed by the sounds of his own daughter trying to get his attention.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy?" Maggie said. "Can I ask you a question?" Jon always found it amusing that his daughter always warned him of an impending question with another question.

"Sure thing, sweety," He said leaning sideways to whisper in her direction. "Only if you give me some of your bacon." She happily obliged and Jon quickly hid the succulent strip of meat under his eggs before Tracey noticed.

"Alright, go ahead." Jon said, leaning over once more. "Oh and don't tell mommy."

"OK!...Daddy, when's our next vacation?" She said looking up at him with her big eyes. Jon took a quick second to think about it.

"Probably sometime this winter." He replied. "Why do you ask?" Maggie sat up in her chair as if to make sure Jon could hear her.

"Cause me and Nathan want to go to the pony place like you do!" She exclaimed.

Jon and his wife shot each other a quick look of worry; this was actually something they had discussed before. Although they both made sure their kids would never saw the show (even before "Equestrian Interviews") word of mystical pastel colored creatures still managed to reach their ears where it was amplified by their imaginations.

Both parents had agreed that the world known as Equestria was too dangerous for their children. Not only that but their ruler Princess Celestia had made it clear that Jon was the only one allowed there.

Trying to avoid the question Jon took Maggie's fork, scooped up some eggs and placed it in her mouth in an attempt to keep her quite. This proved largely fruitless as she simply just tagged in her adjacent brother.

"Yeah daddy!" Nathan yelled. "We want to see the horsies!" Jon himself now took a bite of his eggs, not because he was trying to avoid talking but because he was starving.

"Why do you want to see a bunch of old horses anyway"" Jon said, wondering if Celestia could hear him. "Trust me your not missing much...wouldn't much rather go to Hawaii again?" Both kids shook their head.

"But I heard that some of them are magic!" Nathan exclaimed.

"Yeah magic!" Maggie said, backing up her brother. "We want to see magic and horsies!" Jon knew that the two of them wouldn't let this go easy so he tried to his best to compromise.

"How bout this," Jon bartered. "How bout we go to Vegas again, see a magic show then go to a petting zoo that has ponies? That'd be the same right?"

Both children once again shook their heads in disagreement.

"Well trust me kids," He said putting on his best poker face. "As someone who's been to their place before take my word for it when I say it's not that impressive." Jon knew that if their kids even saw the tiniest glimpse of Equestria they would never want to leave.

"But Daaaaad!" Nathan protested, "Mommy won’t let us watch your show so we never get to see the talking horsies!"

"That's right!" Maggie added, "We'll never get to really see them unless we go to the pony place."

Jon was about to respond but before he could something clicked in his head. Suddenly he had an idea and all at once he knew exactly what he had to do next. He needed to make a phone call.

"Uh, listen sweety," He said in haste. "I'm sorry but I'm afraid you two can't go there but I'll set something up so you'll get to meet one. Deal?"

"Deal!" Maggie and Nathan said in unison. At the time Jon was just saying the first thing he could think of to get them to stop their questions, had had no idea his hollow proposal would one day come true.

Tracey shot a look at her husband who was already making his way to her side. The two had a quick conversation just out of earshot of their kids. Something Maggie had said gave birth to an idea in Jon's brain but first he had to clear it with his wife who was momentary stunned by his proposal. But eventually she agreed.

After getting the green light Jon gave her a kiss, picked up his plate of food and made his way back up the stairs to his study, but not after his wife snatched his lone bacon strip off his plate.

Jon placed his half eaten breakfast on his desk and began to dial the number of his royal friend, the idea still fresh in his mind.

"Hello Jon," Celestia said. "How are you enjoying your vacation?"

"It's alright," Jon answered as he sat down behind his desk. "How are you enjoying ruling over an entire nation with an iron hoof?"

"It's alright," Celestia answered trying her best to match Jon's tone. "What can I do for you today?"

"Well I still have a few days left till I get back to work," he said. "And I plan on using those days to learn as much as I can about your world and those who inhabit it. You know that way in the future I'll be more prepared during interviews and--"

"And you'll have a better idea of who you'll want on your show." Celestia interjected.

"Exactly!" Jon responded. "And that's where you come in."

"Yes of course," she said. "What new information would you like for me to impart on you this time?"

"You know, as much as I love our little one-on-ones that's not how I plan on researching your world this time around." Jon said, scooping a fork full of eggs in his mouth.

"Is that so?" Celestia asked. "Well then what did you have in mind?"

"Well...this is what I'm proposing. I'm not due to go back on the air for a few more days, right?" Jon said, swallowing the last of his breakfast. "Well with your permission I would like to spend the rest of those days in Equestria. Sort of like a...mini-vacation."

"Most interesting; not that I'm against this idea what why do you want to stay here all of a sudden?" she responded. "Up until now you seemed perfectly content with learning about our world through me and only visiting only when you needed to speak with somepony."

"Well like I said before, I want to use the time I have left to learn more about your world," he responded. "I just feel that the best way to do so is to immerse myself in your culture. By doing that I think I'll have a better understanding and appreciation for your people."

Celestia found herself once again impressed by Jon's respectful nature; her admiration for him was well founded.

"My, my, my Jon," she said. "It sounds as though you speak from experience."

Celestia was right; this idea was not entirety foreign to him. Not too long ago Jon had the honor of going to Afghanistan to entertain the troops. Hearing about their struggles over the news was one thing but to see it up close gave him an even greater respect for what they were doing...it was a trip that changed his life and how he viewed the world.

"You could say that." Jon responded. "There is still so much about Equestria that I do not understand and if I'm going to continue interviewing its people then I feel it's only proper that I meet them half way."

"Well said Jon," Celestia said with pride. "I'll make it happen! When will you like to join us?"

"Tomorrow morning if possible." Jon said. "I want to spend the rest of the day packing. Also if you set me up in a hotel can you make sure it has a mini-bar?" He made sure to make his request with a thick layer of sarcasm so she knew he was joking.

"I"ll see what I can do; don't worry I'll take care of everything." She said, pausing slightly before speaking again. "We'll have to do it early so we can get you through customs as quickly as possible."

Jon was about to take a bit out of his piece of toast but stopped dead in his tracks.

"C-customs?" Jon pondered out loud.

"Oh my yes Jon," Celestia responded. "We'll have to process you to make sure you're safe to enter our world."

"But I-- But I never had to go through customs before." Jon argued, the sounds of unease present in his voice.

"That was different because you were only staying for very short period of time," Celestia continued. "But since you'll be wanting to stay for a longer duration we'll have to make sure you're not dangerous. That means body scans, cavity searches, and you'll have to get an Equestrian passport."

"O-oh well if that's what it takes to get in then I'll be...happy to cooperate." Jon said, hoping that unicorns weren't the ones who conducted the cavity searches.

There was a dainty laugh on the other end of the phone before Celestia spoke again.

"Oh Jon I was only jesting," she said. "Don't worry about a thing I'll make sure you are properly accommodated...though it's nice to know how far you're willing to go"

Jon laughed along with Celestia, wondering if his fallacious attitude was rubbing off on her.

Later that night Jon slept in his bed next to his wife, his prepared luggage standing by to the door ready to go. As he snored the night away he dreamt of what was to come completely unaware of the magic that was already starting to take place.

Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: Jon goes on vacation

The day of Jon's visit back to Equestria had finally arrived and for the first time he was staying not because he needed to track someone down but simply to absorb the surroundings and broaden his horizon. The experience was going to be different than what he was used to; the immediacy of the situation would be upon sooner than he thought.

The sound of Jon's alarm began to slowly pull him out of his deep sleep. The day had barely started and yet it took him only a few seconds to realize that something was not right. The quilt that that he usually slept under felt somehow different, the warm feel of his wife in his arms was replaced by nothingness and the usual sound of his radio alarm was now the sound of a rooster screaming in the distance.

As if someone had sent an electrical shock through his spine Jon immediately sat up in his bed. His brain was still shaking off the last remnants of whatever he was dreaming about so the surroundings took a bit longer to register with him. But once it did Jon entertained the thought that he might still be dreaming or that he was kidnapped

"Where the hell am I?" Jon thought as he scanned the room looking for clues.

Wherever he was it wasn't his bedroom and it sure as hell wasn't any place he had ever seen before. His surroundings consisted of the bed he slept in, a nightstand, a desk located a few feet to this left separated by a window, and a wooden cabinet in the corner of the room. The walls were painted blue with matching light blue stripes and were adorned with pictures and light fixtures.

It was simple yet efficient; if he had been kidnapped then at least whoever did it so was accommodating. After a minute of further deliberation Jon began to notice a few key characteristics about his new setting.

The room wasn't just blue they were a very vibrant blue, the pictures on hanging from the walls were all whimsical paintings, and the light source that surrounded him weren't light bulbs but gas lamps. The atmosphere just screamed "other worldly."

"Am I in Equestria?" Jon thought getting up from his bed.

Immediately he turned his attention to the window in between the bed and desk and in one fell swoop opened the shutters to the outside world. It took a second for his vision to adjust to the sudden burst of light but once he did he realized that his hypothesis was confirmed.

Jon was now looking down at the busy streets of Ponyville's shopping district where a few bustling ponies could be seen haggling and buying various goods and services. From this height no one could see him so he took this moment to admire the view, which in its own right was quite serene.

After a moment of blissful silence that he rarely received in New York Jon closed the window and returned to his bed to straighten his sheets and adjust his pillow. He was obviously a guest in someone's household and as such felt it necessary to tidy up his living quarters.

As he put the finishing touches on his now tidy bed Jon noticed that there was a note on his nightstand held down by his own reading glasses. He took his glasses in one hand and the note in the other and began to read the familiar handwriting:

"Son of a bitch." Jon thought to himself. "This is a hotel...and I made my bed for nothing."

As slightly uncomfortable as he was by the thought of him being whisked off in the middle of the night without his permission Jon had to admit that the luxury of full room and board and having been spared the task of unpacking his own luggage more than made up for it.

With Jon now brought up to speed he put both the note and his glasses back on the nightstand and threw his arms out to stretch his muscles cracking some joints in the process. He continued his morning tradition by moving his head in a circular motion to stretch his neck, producing similar results. With his mind and body now at ease he was ready to start the day.

But before he could continue Jon's attention was now drawn to the door; he could hear muffled voices coming from behind it. It was definitely the sound of two people talking amongst themselves but they were too close to the door to be just passing by.

Jon stealthily approached the door to investigate. Lacking a peep hole his only option was the more traditional route of simply opening the door. He opted to do so but not before putting his ear against its wooden frame to do a little eavesdropping.

"...not doing it you do it." A male voice whispered.

"No way! What if he's dangerous?" A female voice retorted.

"Look the princess brought him here so it should be nice." The male voice shot back.

"Then why don't you do it?" The female voice asked. Slowly grasping the doorknob Jon took a step back and in one swinging motion opened the door as quickly as he could, freighting the two loitering individuals.

Just as Jon suspected they were both ponies: One a male Earthpony and the other a female Unicorn. The Earthpony was light brown with a tan colored mane and he wore a red hat while the Unicorn was pink with a bright yellow mane and was wearing an apron. Jon had been to enough gigs in his life to recognize hotel employees a mile away.

"Hi" Jon blurted, smiling at the two ponies. He paused to give them time to speak but none of them did. "Liiisten who do I talk to about a wakeup call?"

After a slightly uncomfortable pause the brown Earthpony (who was the receptionist) raised his hoof so slowly that Jon had time to give of a small yawn.

"Ah good," Jon said, trying his best to sound friendly. "Listen could you please set me up for 6:30 every morning?" The receptionist didn't say a word; he simply just nodded his head.

"Alright thank you!" Jon said patting Earthpony on the shoulder. Jon closed the door and was about to make his way to the dresser when a thought crossed his mind. Scratching his chin he turned his attention to the door again and swung it open in the same fashion as before. The two employees we're still there.

"One more thing," He said. "Where can a guy get a bagel around here?" His sudden reappearance caused the Earthpony to fall over in surprise leaving only the pink and lemon unicorn to answer.

"Su...Sugarcube Corner." She said.

"Thanks again." Jon said, once again retreating to his room. Having no questions left Jon made his way to the dresser to get changed. When he opened it he was greeted by nearly every suit he owned neatly arranged by color along with their respective slacks. On the left door of the dresser were his ties; while on the right was a mirror. The bottom of the dresser had Jon's dress shoes which looked like they were recently shined.

"Yeah I don't think so." Jon said as he stuck both his hands in between the wall of suits, pushing them aside to see what else was available. Eventually Jon found what he was looking for: his grey William and Mary T-shirt (Jon's old college), black leather jacket, a pair of beige khakis, NY baseball cap, and his old running shoes.

At the risk of wasting more time being by himself Jon left his room and into a hallway. His two pony friends where no longer blocking his way, in fact the entire area was deserted. After taking a hard left down the hallway he soon found his way to a set of stairs. He descended them quickly and was now in the hotel's main lobby, now Jon realized why no one was upstairs.

Ahead of him was the exit to the hotel where a rack of pamphlets could be seen. To his left was a rustic looking dining hall where several ponies were enjoying their continental breakfast and to his right was the receptionist's desk. His plan was to simply walk straight ahead and exit the building without being noticed but doing so proved impossible

As Jon made his way for the exit the sounds of ponies in mid-conversion came to a halt as did the clanging of their silverware. Jon was halfway to the door when he noticed the now dead silence and looked over his shoulder at the room filled with awestruck ponies staring at him. For all of them this was the first time seeing a human in person.

Matching their silence Jon continued in his path to the door, opening it ever so slightly. He could still feel rows the ponies leering at him from behind, some of whom actually got out of their seats to get a better look. As understanding as Jon was at their curiosity he couldn't help but have a little fun with them. So to that end he spun around quickly and lightly jolted forward at them.

"BOO!" He said, causing everyone to recoil at once and a few to fall over in their seat.

After giving a friendly wave goodbye he took a local map off the nearby rack and exited the building into the streets of Ponyville. Although his new location was very much different from this last in terms of settings the reactions he got from the masses was very much the same.

Jon strolled down a random dirt road enjoying the fresh air and sun trying his best not to stick out, though this proved to be impossible. The regular clothing he wore was standard attire for whenever he was on vacation and/or out of the house and didn't want to be noticed.

As famous as he was back home he rarely got noticed on the streets of Manhattan; especially when we wasn't in a suit or wearing professional on screen makeup. Only those with a true keen eye would spot him in his shabby disguise but that was New York...it didn't matter what he wore on the streets of Ponyville, either way he stood out like a sore pink thumb.

He continued to walk down his current path occasionally playing on his phone or looking at his map for reference. All eyes were on him and he knew it. Jon may have been well known but he wasn't used to this much attention outside his show. Little did he realize that rumors of his visit were already fast traveling through the region.

Looking up from his map he began to scan the many ponies who were doing the same to him. Some were trying to avoid staring but it was very obvious where their attention was. One colt in particular was in the middle of painting the side of a house but was so distracted by Jon's presence that he accidentally starting painting the windows instead, much to a older unicorns dismay.

Jon wanted to try something so he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. Looking in all directions Jon was secretly looking at the cutie marks of random ponies to see if he could properly guess what they meant.

He saw some that looked pretty straight forward like: A log being cut in half by a saw, or a book being written on by a quill.

Others however Jon found were to abstract to guess on visuals alone like: A piece of metal bent in the shape of a heart, or a lightning bolt that was twisted into a circular motion.

After a good while of staring at pony flanks Jon realized he was hungry as indicated by his stomach gurgling in protest. Even with the map Jon was still unsure of where this "Sugarcube Corner" was. It had been quite some time since he'd felt like such a tourist.

Lacking even the general knowledge of where he was Jon got the attention of the pony nearest to him, a pink Earthpony with green hair and a daisy as a cutie mark.

"Excuse me?" Jon said. "Could you point me in the direction of 'Sugarcube Corner?'"

"Uh...sure thing," she said, pointing to Jon's left. "It's...r-right around the corner."

"Thanks." Jon said handing her a business card much to her confusion. "If you're ever in New York."

His stomach grumbled in anticipation and after a quick wave goodbye Jon was once again on his way.

Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: Jon goes on vacation part 2

In no time Jon rounded the corner and found himself just outside what looked like a bakery. He entered the somewhat busy establishment to find all manner of ponies sitting an enjoying various confectionery treats. This must be the place.

Jon approached the counter where two Earthponies who were too busy spreading frosting on a cake and heaping a costumer respectively, to notice Jon. The Earthpony handling the register was a tall lanky yellow colt with an orange mane while the other pony working on the cake was a shorter light blue mare with a rose colored mane.

It was now Jon's turn to step up to the register. As he approached the Earthpony the intoxicating aroma of pastries filled his senses. This was definitely a bakery.

"Welcome to 'Sugercube corner!'" The cashier said, slowly looking upwards at Jon. "How can I...help...you...today?" Jon leaned in to both look at the selection of treats and to read the cashier's name tag which read 'Mr. Carrot Cake.'

"Yeah, do you guys have any bagels?" Jon asked.

"Uh...well...yes of course we do." Said Mr. Cake who turned to call out to his wife. "Uh honey could you get a bagel for...uh for..."

"Call me 'Jon.'" He interjected. An unaware Mrs. Cake was already emerging from the backroom carrying with her the bagel that her husband had requested.

"Jon huh?" She said, her attention on the bagel to make sure she didn't drop it. "That's a very unique name. Tell me are you from around..."

Mrs. Cake stopped mid sentence at the sight of the Jon towering figure looking down at her, at lost for words all she could do was stare. With no one making a move Jon reached forward and grabbed his treat.

"Don't worry I get that a lot," he said with a wink while pulling out his wallet. "So how much do I owe ya?"

"Uh...two bits" Said Mr. Cake.

Jon was somewhat taken aback; he had no idea was a "bit" was. He wondered if he could get away with paying with a dollar bill or two or if there was even an exchange rate between US and Equestrian currency. When he opened his wallet he noticed that if felt somewhat heavier than usual. Upon further inspection the bills that he had withdrawn the day before were gone and replaced with gold coins.

"Celestia how do you do it?" Jon thought, taking out two gold coins. He placed them on the counter and after getting a nod of approval made his way to the door.

The still awestruck Mrs. Cake was jolted from her daze by the sound of crying coming from another room. With a quick dash she ran up upstairs.

"Toddlers?" Jon called out, looking at Mr. Cake.

"Uh yeah," he responded with a nervous laugh as he rubbed his head. "Twins…only a few months old."

"Ah...I've been there." Jon said with a nod. "Trust me it gets better."

Jon opened the door back to Ponyville while at the same time taking a bite out of his newly acquired bagel.

"Hmmm...not bad," he said, taking a step outside and closing the door. "New York's is better."

As Jon walked in no particular direction he thought that perhaps a mom and pop style bakery owners would be interesting characters to have on his show. If they were any good at being interviewed as they were at making food they would do just fine.

Jon now found himself on a new street with new ponies but getting the same treatment as before. Endless faces starting at him. But he didn't care, he was too busy enjoying the fresh air and his treat.

It was so quiet that Jon could hear the sound of someone trotting behind him, but he gave it no mind. Though in time the sound got louder and louder and the attention of the ponies around him shifted from Jon to whatever it was making the noise. The sound grew in volume as if it was getting closer; now Jon was curious. He turned around to see what it was but it was too late. All he saw was a flash of green before tumbling to the ground.

With the sun now in his eyes Jon had a hard time seeing what was going on. All he knew was he was flat on his back and something was standing on top of him. As his vision slowly adjusted to the sun beating down on him he could see clearly now what had mounted him with a look on her face as she'd just found the Holy Grail. It was a mint colored Unicorn, her mane a pale cyan with streaks of white. She stared at Jon with eyes filled with wonder and her horn was uncomfortably close to his face.

"HEY!" She yelled. "You're the human everyponies talking about! Can you understand me?!"

Jon tried to respond back but couldn't as a chunk of bagel that he had previously tried to swallow was lodged in his throat. Noticing this, the Unicorn's large smile gave way to a look of dread.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed. "Don't worry I'll help ya!" With that the young mare began to violently jump up and down on Jon's stomach. The first three jumps yielded no results but after the fourth jump the half eaten glob of food ejected itself from Jon's windpipe. Jon gasped for air though it was still hard to breath with the Unicorn still standing on top of him.

"There we go!" Jon's attacker announced. "Can you breathe?" Jon didn't answer but instead continued to lay on the ground with his eyes shut, trying to focus on his breathing. The Unicorn however took this as meaning that he was unconscious so she raised her hoof in the air to smack him across the face, in an effort to wake him up.

Before she could strike however the mint colored Unicorn was grabbed from behind by a cream colored Earthpony with a blue and pink streaked mane.

"Lyra get off of him!" The nazely Earthpony screamed. "What in the name of Celestia do you think you're doing?!"

"Oh there you are Bon Bon!" Lyra said. "I was just helping out my new friend the human!"

"Helping? It looked like you were attacking him!" Bon Bon scolded. She turned her attention to Jon, extending her hoof to try and help him up.

"I am so sorry!" She said. "Please forgive my friend she can be...very enthusiastic. Are you ok?"

"Oh you worry too much," Lyra said. "He's fine. Right Mr. Human?" Jon grabbed Bon Bon hoof and slowly lifted himself up.

"I have a name you know," he said, standing up. "It's Jo-AAAAAAAAAAAAHN" Jon lurched forward in pain. Lyra's tackle had done more than cause him to joke on his bagel it also threw out his back.

"See! Look what you did!" Bon Bon yelled, jabbing Lyra with her hoof. "You injured him!"

"W-wait I can fix this!" A guilty looking Lyra said. She galloped behind Jon and pointed her now glowing horn at Jon's lower back. Although Jon couldn't see what was going on he was still nervous at the prospect of this Unicorn 'helping' him again. He could have ran away but the pain prevented him from doing much of anything.

"Wait, wait, wait!" He urged. "I'm fine really you don't have to--"

Before Jon could even contemplate what was happening his lower back jerked forward with a crack. Jon was now standing straight up with a look of discomfort plastered all over his face. Lyra then used her magic to expand and contract the muscles in his back which felt surprisingly pleasant.

The sudden sensation of pain followed by pleasure caused Jon to fall forward again.

"You killed him!" Bon Bon yelled.

"But!...but I didn't mean to!" Lyra cried. "Does anypony have a shovel?!"

"Wait! I'm fine!" Jon exclaimed as he slowly stood up.

"You're alive!" Lyra exclaimed, running around to get a better view of him. "Feeling better?"

"Actually...yeah a lot better really. " Jon said, swiveling around in place to see if the pain was truly gone. "Usually something like that would cost me hundreds of dollars so thanks...I guess."

Jon wanted to ask if her services came with a happy ending but decided not too as things were already weird enough.

"You’re welcome!" Lyra said looking over at Bon Bon who was glaring at her. "Oh..and sorry for hurting you."

"Eh it's ok, I've experienced worse." He said. "If I can survive Applejack kicking me in the stomach I can handle you."

Both Lyra and Bon Bon gave each other a look.

"Wait, what did you say?" Bon Bon asked. "Applejack kicked you?"

"Yeah she did," Jon answered. "Not too long ago when I surprised her on her farm."

"I knew you looked familiar!" Lyra exclaimed. "You're the host of 'The Daily Show.'"

"Yes I am. Jon Stewart at your service." He said, with a forced smile. With his back now in better condition he leaned forward to shake both their hooves. Lyra for some reason took longer to let go and was staring at Jon's hand the entire time.

"Oh wow, I love your show! " Bon Bon added. "Oh sorry I'm Bon Bon and this is Lyra. What are you doing here in Ponyville? Are you heading somewhere?"

"I'm on vacation." Jon said, rubbing the back of his head. "As for where I was going I don't quite remember."

"See what you did!?" Bon Bon scolded at Lyra. "You gave him amnesia!"

"Did not!" Lyra shot back. "He probably just forgot cause he's real old!" Bon Bon hesitantly shoved a hoof in Lyra's mouth and the other around her neck. She looked at Jon with a sorry expression.

"She didn't mean it!" Bon Bon said. "Please if you need help getting around town I'm sure I can help."

"She sure can!" Lyra said with a smirk, as she managed to momentary brake free. "This one’s really knows how to 'get around town' if you know what I mean."

"HUSH YOU!" Bon Bon demanded as she wrapped both her hooves over Lyra's mouth.

Jon watched as Bon Bon continued to muzzle her friend while Lyra tried using her magic to break free. Seeing her horn light up with magic once more gave Jon an idea.

"Actually maybe you can help me," Jon said, now having both ponies full attention. "I'm doing some research on this place and I'm wondering if you could point me to the nearest library."

"Sure I can," Bon Bon said, pointing at a building behind Jon. "You'll find lots of useful source material over there!"

"Thank you. I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta go." Jon said, lightly jogging towards his new location. Lyra finally broke free from Bon Bon's grasp and tried to follow him though Bon Bon wouldn't allow it. So instead she decided to ask one final question.

"Hey Mr. Stewart!" She called out. "Why you doing research on us anyway?" Jon stopped for a second to call back to her.

"Cause I'm planning on invading your world and keeping you all as my slaves!" Jon yelled back and was once again on his way. Lyra put her hoof over her mouth to hold back her laughter while Bon Bon had a look of worry on her face.

With his new destination clear in sight Jon took a second to admire its architectural design. It was a two story building that was partially built inside a tree. It was certainly different than anything he'd seen thus far. Jon found that the door was unlocked so he let himself in.

To Jon it looked like more of a house than anything else thought there were plenty of books around for anyone to justify calling it a library.

"Hello?" Jon called out. "Anyone here?" With no answer Jon gave a shrug and walked over to one of the many book shelves. He began to browse row after row till he found something that jumped out at him.

Between Celestia teleporting him here without him knowing and Lyra fixing his back Jon's interest in pony magic was at an all time high. So much so that he was thinking about inviting a Unicorn on the show next. He had gotten a taste magic that day and he wanted more; before doing so however he decided to do a little research first. Eventually he found a book that looked promising. When Jon read the introduction he learned it was about Unicorn spells. The book was called "Advance spells and Enchantments" and was written by someone called Starswirl the Bearded. Jon decided to peruse through it a bit before going to another book.

A few minutes had passed and already Jon had learned a lot of Unicorn culture. Some of the spells he read about ranged from everyday uses to expert level incantations. Along with spells the book also provided some chapters on Unicorn history, this was exactly what he needed.

Jon wanted to ask someone if he could check it out but there was still no one to be found. Jon now desperate walked up stairs to see if the librarian was present in another room. The results of Jon's exploration was not the librarian but a familiar face sleeping in a bed. It was none other than the first Equestrian citizen Jon had ever had as a guest on his show.

"Spike?" Jon called out to the sleeping dragon. "Is that you?"

"Huh, who's there?" Spike said as he slowly got up from his bed. Before Jon could answer Spike leaped from his bed and in a panic fell over the side of the walkway and landed on lower level. Jon scrambled back down the stairs to see if he was alright.

"Oh geez I didn't mean to scare you!" Jon said. "Are you ok?" Spike sat up and after a brief moment of dizziness started to run around the lobby picking up books that were in messy little piles on the floor and climbed up different ladders to reshelf them.

"Please don't tell Twilight I was asleep!" Spike begged. "I was suppose to clean up the place but I was real tired so I--" Suddenly spike stopped in his tracks and dropped the books he had collected.

"Is that you, Jon?" Spike said peering down from atop a ladder.

"Do you know any other humans?" Jon asked with a smile.

"JON!" Spike yelled as he slid down the ladder and ran up to give him a hug. "It's great to see you again!"

"Same here little man." Jon responded, ruffling the scales on his head.

"What are you doing here?" Spike asked, offering Jon a seat.

"I'm on vacation." Jon said sitting down. "As for why I'm here in this library its cause I'm doing some research on Unicorns. You don't live here do you?"

"I sure do," Spike responded looking at the book of spells he had in his hand. "Unicorns huh? Is this for your show?"

"You could say that," Jon said. "I've never interviewed a Unicorn before and I'm just now starting to learn about their magic. It's really quite fascinating."

"Oh I see," Spike said. "Well if its magic you’re interested in you should talk to Twilight."

"Twilight?" Jon said, caressing his chin. "Oh yeah Twilight. She's your...guardian isn't she?"

"Yeah she's the best magic user in all of Equestria!" Spike exclaimed. "I mean she is Princess Celestia's Pro..uh her Pro..ta shay?"

"Really?" Jon asked as the gears in his head stared to turn. "So she's good with magic huh?"

"Oh the best!" Spike answered. "In fact she once--" Just then the door to the library swung open startling both Jon and Spike.

"Spike I'm home!" A voiced called out. What followed was the appearance of a lone lavender Unicorn. Her mane was an even darker shade of purple livened up with a pink and magenta streak. Her head was in a book but upon seeing the mess she had left still present gave a sigh and lowered her head in disappointment.

"Oh Spike I thought I told you to...Oh! I didn't realize we had company." She said looking at Jon. Her attention quickly went back to the scattered piles of books and blushed slightly as she continued to address Spike.

"See Spike this is why we need to keep this place nice and tidy," She scolded. "I'm sorry sir but we--" It was at that moment that Twilight realized that her guest was a human. She stopped to a moment to look at Jon, admiring his presence.

"Say...don't I know you from somewhere?" She asked, squinting her eyes.

Spiked leaped forward, relieved that her attention was now on Jon rather than him.

"Don't you remember my trip to New York?" He said. "This is--"

"Stewart!" Jon said, getting up to shake her hoof. "Jon Stewart. It's a pleasure to finally meet the famous Twilight Sparkle."

"Wait, you're the Jon Stewart?" Twilight asked in surprise. "Wait you...you know who I am?" The gravity of the situation was starting to set in for her.

"Well your reputations precedes you." Jon continued. "Listen this may be very sudden but tell me...what are you doing Monday night?"

Episode 8 [Twlight Sparkle]: Please welcome to the show Twlight Sparkle

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Twilight Sparkle (Twilight)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

Having found a guest a few days ahead of schedule Jon had the opportunity to come back to the studio early in preparation for his upcoming show. Twilight was kind enough to teleport Jon back to New York herself the day he asked her to appear and since then he had his interns rearrange the set for the occasion.

This was the first time since Applejack that Jon had a member of the Mane 6 on his show and like with AJ Jon felt that the set and atmosphere should reflect the guest's personality. So to that end Twilight would receive her own song and the backdrop to the set depicted a wizard casting a spell in a manner that looked like it had been designed by artists for a Harry Potter film.

Some of the final touches to the set included bookshelves stocked with encyclopedias, torches on the walls, and most of Jon's staff dressed in robes (though that was merely done for the entertainment of audience.) But one of the most notable changes was Jon desk which was replaced by what looked like a pile of books stacked in the shape of his a desk. In reality however it was just his usual desk with an outer shell which depicted stacked books.

The crowd cheered as Daily Show officials gave the signal that was last commercial break was over. The camera did a longer and wider pan around the stage to show off its temporary new design before eventually zooming in on Jon who was sitting at his chair waving at the audience with excitement.

"Hey, welcome back to 'The Daily Show' we have a very special guest tonight! I know you've been waiting for this one!" Jon said, rubbing his hands together. "She is the leader of the 'Elements of Harmony,' and the protégé of Princess Celestia herself. Please welcome to the show Twilight Sparkle!"

The crowd roared with a level of excitement that was slightly higher than normal because they knew exactly who was on the docket this time around.

In the past Jon had always gotten his guest at the very last minute but since he managed to find Twilight a few days early he was able, for the first time, advertise an Equestrian citizen's appearance. This meant that people from both worlds knew who was coming in advanced instead of just a vague idea.

The screams of excitement only intensified once Twilight finally appeared on stage. Instead of the Daily Show's usual intro music a different song accompanied the Lavender Unicorn. Not being used to this much attention at once she looked a bit uncomfortable, though that might've just be a look of exhaustion from the many books she was hauling around. Strapped to the back of Twilight was a miniature sized wagon (though normal sized for a pony) that was filled with a random assortment of books that looked as if they would spill over at any moment.

Jon saw this and briefly shook his head as he got up to greet her. He met her halfway and shook her hoof taking a peek at the wagon of books which consisted mostly of history texts. After some time had passed the two stopped posing and waving to make their way to the center stage where Jon's desk awaited them both. Jon helped Twilight break free from her wagon and in turn she thanked him with a smile. Both found their way to their seats ready to begin, though the crowd was still in the middle of their cheering.

"Welcome to the show Twilight it's great to have you here!" Jon said.

"Thank you for having me Jon! I hope I'll do ok" Twilight responded. "I've never been on TV before."

"You nervous?" Jon asked.

"A little, but I've been practicing for days now." She responded. "I've already read three different books about appearing on Television."

"Oh well...that's...that's great." Jon responded. "You know uh,...a lot of people have been waiting for this."

"Oh really?" Twilight asked, still adjusting herself in her seat.

"It's true," he retorted. "You've...you've been mentioned on the show quite a few times already."

"Can't imagine why," She responded modestly. "I mean I'm nopony special."

Upon hearing this Jon gave her a look and slowly swiveled to the side to view the large and expensive set that he had his staff put together for the past few days.

"I really hope that's not true because if it is we blew a lot of money doing this." Jon responded.

"Speaking of which," Twilight said tapping the side of Jon's desk with her hoof. "I appreciate the sentiment and the attention to detail but, but there's more to me than this. I mean I like books but I'm not obsessed with them you know."

Jon once again greeted her with the same look he had given her before only this time he looked over her shoulder at the wagon willed with publications.

"Really?" Jon responded with a single raised eyebrow. "Coulda fooled me."

The audience laughed as an embarrassed Twilight Sparkle who inched forward in her seat to hid her collected material from sight.

"What is all that anyway, did you raid a library?" Jon asked, unaware of the fact that he just answered his own question.

"Oh well yes I...guess you can say I did something like that." She said, innocently fiddling with her hooves. "When your assistant asked if I needed anything I requested to go to the nearest library. I wanted to know what I was getting myself into before actually going forward with this."

Jon found her reasoning admirable though at the same felt a bit twang a of guilt since it took him up until now to do the same for ponies.

"What kind of books did you get?" Jon asked peering over at her collection.

"Oh many kinds!" Twilight responded enthusiastically. "A lot of these books are on human history and psychology but I did manage to get a few history books...but most of them are about American history since that's our present location. OH, OH, OH, but my favorite thus far would have to beeee...this one!"

Before anyone could react Twilight's horn glowed with power as she used it to whip out a massive book from behind her, levitating it in the air so all could see. The audience cooed in astonishment at the sight of real magic being performed in front of them.

"I know right!" Twilight said looking at the audience. "This book is interesting. It's called "Human culture and society" by one Charles Ellwood of Duke University. He states that It's impossible to understand human society without first understanding human culture...apparently human behavior is heavily influenced by economics, religion, politics and other facets of life. In fact according to him different groups of human life have--

"Actually twilight, uh...I--I'm pretty sure the audience was interested in the fact that you just used magic," Jon interrupted, motioning to her book. "And not Charley Longwood over here."

"Oh this?" She said looking at her horn. "It's a levitation spell, nothing special. NOW in this chapter Mr. Ellwood talks about how over the years humans have developed by as individuals by learning to modify their--"

"NO, NO, Twilight you don't understand," Jon interrupted again. "In our world we don't have magic...I mean, at least as far as I know, so for most I'm guessing this is a very new experience."

To see if this was true Twilight used her horn once again to levitate a few more books, spinning the around each other like molecules around an atom. Not a single audience member cheered or clapped due to the fact that they were all mesmerized by her effortless demonstration.

"How interesting," she said. "I can't even imagine a world without magic."

"See this is what I mean by 'special guest.'" Jon said pointing to her horn. "I mean you can use MAGIC...and you're on my show!...SUCK IT COLBERT!"

"But this is just a simple levitation spell," Twilight responded, placing all her books back in a neat little pile. "Any Unicorn can use it, I'm no different from anypony else."

"Well see now that's not true," Jon corrected. "You’re not just any Unicorn you actually have a very impressive Résumé...do you mind?" Twilight nodded sheepishly while Jon looked at his notes.

"According to my findings you...are the leader of the task force created by Princess Celestia called 'The Elements of Harmony,' you became the youngest pony ever to be accepted into Canterlot's school of gifted Unicorns where you received full scholarship as the Princess' Protégé, and you've helped save Ponyville many times from the forces of evil." Jon finished jokingly taking a deep breath as if he was winded. "Now that's...what I call 'special.'"

Twilight blushed as the audience stood in thunderous applause. At first she wasn't too embarrassed but once they started to chant her name she tried to cover her face with her hoof.

"Not only are you quite talented but you also associate yourself with some very important people." Jon continued. "Says here that, uh not only are you Celestia's most faithful student, but your best friends are the other members of 'The Elements of Harmon,' your brother is the Captain of the Royal Canterlot Guards, and your sister in law is a royal Princess...you're basically the John F Kennedy of Equestria."

Twilight humbled demeanor was quickly replace with a look of sudden realization.

"OH! I know who that is!" She exclaimed, using her magic to pull out another book. "I came across that name a little while ago when I was researching some of your leaders."

The crowd laughed at Twilight's continued habit of looking through her books during the interview. Jon would have interrupted Twilight who was busily flipping through pages but she was too laser focused at this point.

"I think it's fascinating how you humans go through leaders ever few years. I mean by home our Princess is always-- OH! I found it!" Twilight said, pointing in a section of a book about US presidents. "John Fitzgerald Kennedy, or JFK, was America's 35th president. He was born in Brookline, Massachusetts and became President in 1961 under the Democratic Party. Sadly it says here he was assassinated in Dallas, Texas, a few years later and his--"

Jon interpreting Twilight by putting a hand on her hoof, tilting his head to the side in an attempt to show her that the audience was laughing in her direction.

"Slow down there Google," he said. "We only have six minutes on the air you gotta pace yourself."

"Oh...sorry," she said, drooping her ears down. "I just uh...I find American history to be really intriguing."

"Is that right?" Jon asked. "Why do-- in what ways do you find us interesting? I mean you come from a world of talking animals and magic so I'm wondering what gets your attention over here."

"Well according to my research the land known at the United States of America was founded back in 1776," Twilight responded, who was tempted to go into further detail. "So that means it's only 236 years old...that's very young. Back in my world there are ponies who have lived almost five times that amount."

"Ok, no I see what you’re saying," he responded. "Is there anything else about America that you-- uh that you find interesting?"

"Actually there is! Like I said before that fact that you go through leaders so regularly is astounding." Twilight responded enthusiastically. "I find it most fascinating how your forefathers rejected idea of a monarchy so strongly and instead wanted a system where a new official was elected every few years. I understand the appeal of having a government by the ponies for the ponies, but their distaste for a royalty just seems to odd to me."

"Well the way most people see it is our founding fathers didn't want a system of government that had total control over the people but rather the other way around," Jon said, trying to match his guests level of intelligence. "I mean the idea of just one person...uh-- someone you didn't elect controlling so much has its flaws. I think Thomas Jefferson said it best when he said; 'That government is best--'"

"'When it governs least,'" Twilight interrupted, pausing for a moment. "I...I read a little bit about him too."

Jon was impressed by the level of understanding Twilight managed to accumulate in such a short time. He wanted to express that to her but it was too late...she was already as it again.

"Actually I've done some reading and I think I understand why most humans don't like royalty" Twilight said. "You see I drew some parallels between our two worlds and discovered that, when it comes to kings and queens, your past leaders had different life experiences that ultimately shaped the way they adhered themselves while on the throne, and--"

"You're doing it again" Jon interrupted, giving Twilight a look.

"Oh...I suppose I am," Twilight said with a blush. "Sorry!"

Jon didn't say anything but instead opted to stare at Twilight who in turn did the same, giving Jon a look like what a dog would give its master at the dinner table. The only thing that could be heard throughout their staring match was the audience's laughter.

"Alright go ahead." Jon said, surrendering to his guest's silent begging.

"Thank you! I'll make this quick I promise!" She said. "Now as I was saying...I think I've figured out why humans don't like royalty. You see your world had a point in time had something called 'The middle ages' where those who controlled nations did so from a throne. But back then life expectancy was very slim, in some cases 30 years was considered a full life. So kings were often very young, this meant that wars broke out at the behest of naive rulers who didn't know any better."

"Yes I'd imagine it would be rather difficult to run a nation while you have a raging hard on." Jon said turning to the audience. "Puberty! Amiright guys?"

"Well the thing is back in my world we don't have this problem," Twilight continued. "Our royal leaders are immortal, some of whom have lived for 100s of years; living that long has made them very wise."

"All I heard was your leaders could kick our leader's ass." Jon responded in his over-the-top New York accent.

Both Twilight and the audience laughed at Jon's satirical conclusion while Twilight's horn once again activated.

"Well I didn't say that exactly," Twilight responded, using her magic to levitate her mug of water to her mouth. "But we do know how to use magic."

Jon took a moment to respond as he wanted to wait for the audience's cheers of approval to come to an end. Once they did, almost at the same time Twilight set down her mug, he continued with his next point.

"Which reminds me, what kind of magic spells are there in your world?" Jon asked, genuinely curious. "Because on a uh-- from my point of view I've only seen a few of them first hand so could you enlighten us on that subject?"

"Well since you asked we have a wide variety of spells ranging from alteration and conjuration to illusion and restoration," Twilight said proudly. "There are also more...how should I put this?...destructive spells. Spells that are mainly used offensively though ponies know to only use those for emergencies."

"Now I've been...researching Unicorns in preparation for this interview," Jon continued. "And uh correct me if I'm-- if I'm wrong but for Unicorns it seems the common spells are levitation, teleportation, and illumination."

"For the most part you are correct," Twilight answered. "But I will say that a spell to teleport is actually a little more advanced than...levitation or illumination but it's still a pretty basic move.

"I wonder," Jon said. "Do you know of any...let's say 'enhancement spells?'"

"Enhancement spells?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah I mean has a Unicorn over in your world found a way to 'enhance' certain...attributes?" Jon continued. "Like say for example, ooooh I don't know...'male enhancement?' Like do you get chain emails about 'Male enhancement...s-spells'" Twilight was too busy thinking about the questioned to notice the audience's laughter.

"Male enhancement?...You mean like to make them taller or something?" Twilight asked back, confused as to why her legitimate question was met with laughter. Jon himself paused before answering both because of the crowd's laughter and because he was holding back some of his own.

"...You know what let's move on!" Jon said, shifting through his notes. "Now uh, now you said that teleportation magic is a pretty basic uh, subset of magic and as a matter of fact you yourself...teleported both me and yourself to this world. Now we uh, talked briefly backstage about that and it seems that doing so was no easy feat so could you explain...the significance of what you did."

"Well it's like this...teleporting yourself or someone else is a relatively easy spell but when it comes to doing so between different plains of existences it's a whole other story." Twilight explained. "You see we both exist in two completely different worlds so it's not as easy as say going from one end of the room to the other. Furthermore teleporting yourself is harder than teleporting someone else so it takes a pony with a very precise understanding of magic and skill to pull it off. Like Princess Celestia or--"

"Or like you." Jon interrupted.

"Oh well I don't like to brag," Twilight said, nervously playing with her hair. "But when I tried to transport myself to your office I go it on the very first try."

The audience once again began to applaud her. Although Twilight herself still wasn't entirely comfortable with receiving their praise she was slowly getting used to it.

"And you wonder why I wanted you on my show." Jon retorted as he turned to the audience. "Good thing you actually came on-- this one almost refused to come on you know."

Twilight nervously started to explain herself for fear that the audience might turn on her for almost declining to make an appearance.

"Wait! No it's just I-" Twilight said before being interupted.

"As a matter of fact," Jon continued. "You were this close to cancelling on me at the last minute."

"Well yes but...it's just it was so sudden!" Twilight explained. "I had everything planned out in my schedule and this just took me by surprise. Once I realized I could rearrange some appointments I knew I could make it today."

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize you had other plans." Jon said. "What kind of schedule does someone like you maintain?" At the time somewhere in Ponyville a few of Twilight's friends just facehoofed themselves.

"I'm glad you asked!" Twilight said as she used to magic to bring out a large piece a paper, unfolding it in strategic places making it even larger (almost to the point where it could completely engulf them both like a blanket).

"As you can see today I had planned to meet up with the Mayor to talk about zoning regulations in Ponyville," Twilight said pointing to a section on the paper. "Then I had to observe the migration patterns of the Ponyville toad but not before rearranging my wardrobe in alphabetical order. I managed to reschedule these for tomorrow but now I only get two hours of sleep tonight."

"Wow. Zoning regulations, migration patterns, alphabetical order...you must be a riot at parties." Jon said, staring at her massive schedule.

He had to admit there were some interesting looking entries that caught his attention like "Meet Rarity at Spa" or "Go to Sweet Apple Acres to taste test new pie."

"So you really schedule your entire day to the very last second?" Jon asked, as Twilight began to neatly fold up the massive sheet of paper.

"Well not every second, that's just silly. I usually schedule in some free time for myself to do fun things like looking for grammatical errors in magazines or seeing how many math problems I can solve in a minute. My record is 113." Twilight said proudly, while motioning to her schedule. "Oh and by the way this isn't for the entire day it's just for the afternoon.

Twilight used her magic to take out yet another sheet of paper which was even larger than the last one.

"This is for the entire day." She said. "And I don't plan my schedule just for the day...I do it for the entire month."

The crowd laughed as Twilight struggled to keep her giant schedule for falling over. Jon looked at the dozens of entries and wondered if she would ever have the time to come back on his show for a follow up interview. He continued to look at the schedule till something interesting caught his attention.

"Say Twilight?" Jon asked. "Did you jot down our interview on this thing?"

"Of course I did!" Twilight answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because the entry marked on this day at this time just says 'Human observation experiment.'" Jon answered.

"OH JUST IGNORE THAT!" Twilight pleaded as she uncharacteristically stuffed her schedule behind her. "It's nothing!...oh um speaking of schedules I almost forgot I was supposed to give this to you."

Using her horn Twilight levitated a book from her wagon and placed it very gingerly in front of Jon. He instantly recognized the title, "Advance spells and Enchantments."

"I remember this," Jon said picking up the book. "I was going to try and check this out of your library but I forgot to ask."

"Indeed Jon. This is actually a very special book." Twilight explained. "It was a gift I received from the Princess herself. It had all kinds of useful spells, most of which are expert level. If you're still interested I can lend it to you."

At first Jon thought about turning down her offer since it sounded like it was very important to her and he was unsure of when they would meet again. Looking back Jon was infinitely relieved at the decision he made while at the same time haunted by the thought that he almost didn't take it.

"Sure why not." Jon said as he took the book, unaware of its importance. "I managed to read a little bit of this back at your place and I gotta say I really find it interesting...you know mostly because of uh...because we don't have any magic over here."

"About that...I was under the impression that you did." Twilight said. "When I was researching human culture I stumbled upon something very interesting. I read somewhere in a place called 'Washington' there's an elite group of men who are actually magic users like myself.

"Really?" Jon asked, utterly confused. "In Washington?"

"Yeah a group of 18 Wizards under some organization called the 'NBA.'" Twilight continued. A large smile creeped onto Jon's face as he placed his hand across his face. The audience laughed which made him laugh as well.

"Twilight...oh Twilight," Jon said, pausing to regain his composure. "The Washington Wizards are a group of basketball players...who-- They're just called 'wizards' they don't actually use magic. Their just a sports team." This sudden revelation caused Twilight to tilt her head with a look of confusion of her own.

"Wait wha-what? But I...but I read they went against another group of men," She added. "Another group of men who...who were made of magic!"

"I'm guessing you read bout the Orlando Magics," Jon retorted. "Again...same thing, they're just a sports team they don't use magic."

Twilight looked disappointing. Whether it was because her research turned up false information or the fact that there really wasn't any magic, Jon couldn't tell.

"So...so the stories I read about them using their skills to conquer wild bears, fearsome bulls, and even royal Kings?" Twilight asked with a sad face.

"Memphis Grizzlies, Chicago Bulls, and Sacramento Kings." Jon answered by tilting his head upwards, making sure he got the cities right.

"Oh...I see." Twilight said with a blush. "I'm afraid I'm not very knowledgeable about sports."

"Well I...can't even tell." Jon said with a funny look on his face. "If you want I can teach you a thing or two. I uh-- I have an extra ticket to the upcoming Giants game." Twilight sat up in her seat, a look on intrigue once again returning to her face.

"There are Giants in New York!?" She asked. Jon rubbed his hands across his face in frustration at the prospect of being back as square one.

"No Twilight again it's just a na-- you know what YES there are giants in New York." Jon said as the crowd laughed. A confused Twilight took this small break in the interview to drink from her mug again.

"If I may," Jon continued. "I would like to make an observation of my own using the data I've collected since we've met."

"Oh by all means!" Twilight said, leaning forward in anticipation.

"You...uh, you love books, always keep a schedule, find joy in otherwise mundane activities, and know nothing of sports." Jon said, receiving a nod of approval from his gust. "I have now come to the scientific conclusion, based on these recurring themes that you...are a huge nerd."

Twilight felt silly for walking into Jon's joke, displaying her feelings by pouting her lip slightly.

"Yeah I get that a lot from some of the other ponies back home." She said.

"'Back home' being Ponyville, right?" Jon asked.

"That's right." Twilight answered.

"How odd...It seems that uh, a lot ponies seem to live there who-- am I missing something or is that place just the happenest joint in town?" Jon asked. "I mean I would've guessed that someone like you would life in Canterlot. Seeing as how you're a Unicorn and you have a lot of connections over there."

"Well truth be told I actually used to live there." Twilight responded. "Grew up there with my family but then I was sent by Princess Celestia to live in Ponyville a few years ago."

"Why did she send you away?" Jon asked. "Was it some kind of punishment or something."

"No, no, no nothing like that." She answered. "She sent me to Ponyville because she wanted me to learn the true meaning of friendship!" Some of the audience members giggled at how corney her answer was.

"The true meaning of friendship huh?" Jon asked. "Couldn't she just've looked up its definition or something? I mean lord knows I sure you had a dictionary or two lying around somewhere."

Both the crowd and Twilight laughed as Jon grabbed his mug of water and extended his pinkie finger in preparation for his next joke.

"OH HELLOOOOOO Twilight!" Jon said, pretending to be Celestia by way of Queen Elizabeth the II's voice. "Listen I need you to go learn what friendship is! And to do this I'm going to send you far away from your family and home permanently! OOOOOH I do enjoy being a princess"

Twilight tried her hardest not to laugh for fear that Celestia was actually watching but in the end she couldn't help herself.

"Oh Jon that's terrible!" Twilight said, trying and failing to hold back incoming laughing fits. "There was more to it than that! She wanted me to learn what friendship was so me and my new friends could harness the power of 'The Elements of Harmony!'"

"I'm glad you brought that up Twilight." Jon said, leaning forward with interest. "I've heard of these elements before but I still don't know what they are. Could you explain-- and bare in mind I'm not from your world. But could you explain what these elements are and what they do?"

"Of course I can Jon!" Twilight said, raising her voice and clearing her throat so others could hear her. "You see Jon, The Elements of Harmony is the most powerful force in Equestria and is represented by 6 elements that keep our entire world from falling apart. These individual elements, personified by one of my friends, in order are: honesty, kindness, laughter, generosity, Loyalty, and mine which is magic. Each of us uses an ancient artifact that acts as a catalyst and when all the elements combine they unleash a great power...a power which we only use when evil threatens the land of Equestria and the ponies who inhabit it."

"Can you also summon Captain Planet?" Jon asked, breaking the serious mood that Twilight had delicately laid out. The crowd's laughter and Jon's facetiousness didn't sit very well with her.

"The elements are very serious Jon." Twilight scolded. "Without them life as we know it back home might not exist!"

"I'm sorry Twilight it just sounds so unreal to me...like something out of a cartoon." Jon said, trying not to laugh at his guest. "Now uh...you said you sometimes use the elements to fight evil. When was...the last time you actually had to use their power?"

"Well the last time we actually used the elements was about a year ago," She explained. "What happened was the town of Ponyville got taken over by Discord and we had to use its power to defeat him."

"Whose that?" Jon asked.

"Discord is a creature comprised of many mythical beasts," She said, furrowing her brow in contempt. "He is the god of Chaos and he lives only to plunge the world into lawless disorder. He's a creature of pure evil whose heartlessness is matched only by his insatiable urge to fuel himself on the suffering of others."

"Wow...this uh-- this guy sounds terrible." Jon said.

"He truly is!" Twilight responded, looking as if she was holding back some deep-seated emotions. "Tell me Jon do you humans have anypony like that in your world."

"Actually we do," He answered. "His name is Dick Cheney." Twilight though they were still talking serious at the time which is why she felt confused when the crowd busted out in laughter yet again.

"Now Twilight before we go I would like to say this...since the beginning of the show you've been real humble in your stance that your no one special." Jon said, sounding very serious for once. "But it's still my opinion that uh, that you are more important than you think so tell me uh--tell me honestly...have you ever experienced a time in your life where you felt like you were uh somehow superior or, or above other ponies?"

Jon's question didn't seem to sit entirely well with Twilight but she nevertheless gave it some genuine thought.

"Well there was this one time I broke into the spell archive room at the Canterlot Royal Castle" Twilight said, talking softly. "I was caught by a guard and even the Princess found me but I didn't get in trouble...I think it's because I had special privileges since they knew who I was." Twilight didn't mention her accomplishes for fear that they might get in trouble.

Usually Jon would have responded with a quip or two but he was still stunned at her story.

"You broke into the archive room of the castle!?" Jon finally responded. "You mean you actually went and-- you know I take back what I said about you being a Kennedy...you sound more like Nixon to me now."

"Oh, oh, oh I know who that is too!" Twilight exclaimed, once again using her magic to retrieve her book of presidents.

This time around however Jon had no plans of interrupting her.

"Here we go, Richard Nixon!" She said, finding the page she desired. "Richard Milhous Nixon was born in January 9, 1913 Yorba Linda, California where he became Senator. Later he became America's 36th President from January 20, 1969 to August 9, 1974. He is probably most known for the...scandal known as...'Watergate' where...he...."

As Twilight continued to read silently to herself Jon lifted his open palm in the air, counting down each finger in conjuncture with her eventual discovery.

"...HEY!" Twilight said poking her head from behind her book. Both the crowd and Jon laughed at an embarrassed Twilight who in time began to chuckle herself.

"Twilight it's been great to have you here tonight, thank you again for being here," Jon said grabbing her hoof. "Do you mind...just sticking around for about five minutes to show us some of your fancy spells and we'll just throw that on the web?"

"Oh well...I suppose I can fit that into my schedule." She said with a smile.

"Thank you very much Twilight. Tell Celestia I said 'hi,'" Jon said, now turning to the audience. "Twilight Sparkle everyone! We’ll be right back!"

The crowd cheered for more as the camera panned away from Jon whispering something into Twilight's ear. The camera took longer to phase into a commercial giving the audience at home a taste of what was to come by showing Twilight teleporting a few feet forward on stage for the audience. The crowd began to chant her name while the 'Daily show logo' flashed on screen then to another commercial break.

As Jon watched Twilight perform her spells he wondered who the hell he we was going to invite next that could even come close to topping this...unaware of the fact that his next guest was already on her way to Jon's home.

Episode 9 [Trixie]: The Magician

Ever since Jon first started interviewing ponies from Equestria there was one individual who had always been his biggest asset. Princess Celestia.

From approaching Jon with the list of ponies names to teleporting both himself and guests to and from New York, Celestia was always the one person (or pony) he could rely on when it came to "Equestrian Interviews." That is until the night Jon requested something that even she would not help him with.

Jon had interviewed Twilight Sparkle not a couple hours ago and already he was conducting further business. Locked in his study away from the prying eyes of his family Jon had called Celestia to make a request...a request that she did not take to hearing very well.

"And you're sure you can't think of anyone?" Jon pleaded.

"I'm sorry Jon," Celestia answered with a sigh. "But I'm afraid I can't help you this time. What you are asking just sounds so...distasteful."

"Yeah I know," He responded. "But that's just how it works around here."

"Well if that's the case then I must commend you on being able to acclimate yourself to such standards within your profession," she continued. "But here in Equestria everypony is unique and deserving of the same praise as anypony else."

"I suppose you're right." Jon said, as he rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry if I upset you."

"That's quite alright Jon. I bear no ill will." Celestia responded in a soothing manner, like a mother to a child. "You are more than welcome to continue with this idea though I'm afraid all I can do is send somepony to you. Nothing more."

"I understand," He said. "If I make a decision on who I want for this project I'll call you back tonight, ok?"

"Of course Jon. Good luck!" Celestia said. "Say 'hi' to Tracey and the kids for me."

"Will do." Jon said with a heavy sigh as he rubbed his tired eyes. "Oh and Celestia let me just say it never ceases to amaze me at how much of a kind and loving person you are."

"Why thank you Jon." She responded humbly.

"...There's no way in hell you'd ever make it in show business." He added. Celestia responded with a slight laugh.

"I'll take that as a compliment." She said. The two said their goodbyes and hung up, leaving Jon alone in his study with only the the occasional gust of wind providing any sound.

"I definitely could have phrased that question better." Jon thought to himself as he ran his fingers through his aging hair.

After his vacation to Ponyville and meeting Twilight Sparkle, some changes occurred in Jon's normal routine. For one he had been more cautious about work and who he chose to appear on his show.

Jon previewed Twilight's appearance for days in both his world and Equestria. As as as result her segment was the highest rated Equestrian Interview to date. However at the last second she almost cancelled leaving Jon without a guest for the night.

Ordinarily this wouldn't have been too much of a problem as Jon usually had a backup plan for these kinds of things; however with Twilight it would have been different. If she hadn't shown up the fans wouldn't have gotten their daily dose of pony like Jon had promised. This would have been devastating for the show.

To combat this possible scenario from ever happening again Jon had sent (through Celestia) more letters to Equestrian citizens, requesting their appearance at a later date. This way Jon would have multiple people willing to appear instead of just having one at a time. Thereby making scheduling that much simpler.

Another one of Jon's plans in making sure his show ran smoothly was having a pony come by the studio and do an interview off-the-air and save it for later as a back up recoriding in case a guest couldn't make it for whatever reason. The act of taping an interview with the sole invention of never playing it unless there was an emergency was a very common practice in show business and has proven to work before in the past.

One incident that came to mind was when Jon had the opportunity to interview a high-ranking senator who on the day of his interview had to fly back to Washington D.C. to cast his vote on an important piece of legislation. At the time Jon had some footage of an unused interview that he used as a placeholder and eventually got to have the senator on his show a few days late, so all as well.

This rarely happened but Jon didn't want to take any chances. Especially with "Equestrian interviews" because had this happened with Twilight he would be in serious trouble due to the fact that he didn't have access to any back up pony interviews. Only human ones.

So with his heart in the right place Jon called Celestia with an idea that, though efficient, had her feeling somewhat flustered. What Jon had proposed to her was a pony coming over very early the next morning to do an off-the-air taping of an interview. Though in his haste to cover his bases Jon had accidentally used the phrase "uninteresting" in describing anyone she knew for the job.

Getting someone to appear for an interview was simple business. You get the famous people to appear live on prime time to bring in the ratings and you get the nobodies to appear as backup footage to be used as a filler for the next famous person. To Jon it was business, but to Celestia it was foul.

Although she had some disagreements in what Jon was proposing she understood the importance of having a 'plan B.' But asking her if she knew anyone who wasn't interesting enough to go on a live showing was too much.

She still allowed Jon to have someone come on his show for this off-the-air taping but it was still her position that everyone in Ponyville was equally important. So to that end the task of coming up with a guest for the project was entirely up to Jon.

"Yeah...I really could have phrased the question better." Jon thought, as he slumped his tired head on the palm of his hand to keep him up. Jon would spend the next hour or so thinking to himself as he poured over the list of names belonging to a different pony.

The next thing to cross of his "to do list" was find someone bland enough to appear tomorrow morning. This proved to be harder than he thought.

Captain of the Wonderbolts

Fashion Photographer

Spa Owners

Successful business owners

Doctors

Butchers

Bakers

Candlestick Makers

All these ponies were interesting enough to merit their own real interview and just the fact that they were all talking animals in itself meant burying one for the sake of filler would be a grave injustice...and yet it had to be done.

Great guests aside the process of asking someone too do an off-the-air taping was always an awkward one. By asking someone to do so is basically saying to them:

"Hey buddy, guess what? You're no where near interesting or likeable enough to appear on TV for real so howsabout we record your no-talent-as just in case we need to kill time for someone who is?"

Jon sat up in his chair and shook his head to try and stay awake.

"At this point it could be anyone." Jon thought with a tired sigh. Almost on cue a flash of light momentarily distracted him from his critical thinking. The light illuminated from a burst of emerald green fire, which came and went within a matter of seconds leaving behind only a faint smell and a bundle of sealed envelopes.

"Oh great," Jon said with a yawn. "More mail."

Another change in Jon's routine as a result of his vacation in Equestria was the chance to have a direct mail service between himself and his other worldly fans. Before leaving Ponyville Jon had set up a system where any fan mail from Equestria would be sent to Twilight's house whereupon it would be finally transported to Jon via Spike. It wasn't the best mailing system but it meant that for the first time ponies in Equestria (many of whom believed Jon to be not real) now had the chance to voice their opinions to Jon. And voice them they did...many times a day.

Had this been a month or two ago Jon would have been utterly shocked by the sudden appearance of anything through the medium of fire, but it had been happening so regularly for the pass couple of days that Jon could practically set his watch to it.

Jon grabbed his new bundle of letters and skimmed through them one by one just to get a quick idea of what they were regarding. He was almost half way through the collection of letters before gently tossing them back on his desk; he was going to read them all later but in the meantime it looked to be a normal assortment of what to expect. Requests to have someone on the show, requests to have the sender on the show, ideas to make the show better, and general questions.

With deep breath Jon sat back in his chair and continued to think about what his next move was going to be. He closed it eyes and could feel himself gently floating away when something jolted him from his near slumber. Another small flash of light...only this one was somewhat different

He looked forward at his desk but no new letter could be found. In addition the flash of light was very faint compared to what he usually witnessed and the faint smell of smoke was absent. Jon wondered if he had merely dreamt whatever it was he thought he saw. In response to this he rubbed his hands over his face.

Bzzzt

This time Jon knew he wasn't dreaming because in addition to seeing the same faint flash of light he also heard something. Jon scooted closer to his desk, again no new letters. He leaned forward so to see if he could catch whatever it was that was causing the commotion.

Suddenly it happened again.

Bzzzzzzt

A little surge electricity appeared in front of him. Somewhat surprised Jon's first instinct was to check the wiring around his desk to see if there was a broken cable or something of that nature. Though this was somewhat pointless as the electrical shock appeared no where near any wiring. Almost as if it was in mid-air.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt

It returned again. Time time it appeared much quicker and brighter than before. Louder too.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

Now the surge of electricity was starting to get bigger and more violent. Jon was about to get up call someone who would know a thing or two about electrical currents when all at once a burst of light and energy sent him flying back with great force. Fortunately for Jon his desk chair caught him before he could fall, but the papers and other trinkets on his desk however were not so lucky as most of them scattered all over the ground.

Jon opened his eyes to see a cloud of smoke atop his desk. He didn't panic though because even through it's thick smog he could tell there was no fire; just smoke. In addition the smoke in question was not what Jon would call normal. Instead of being a black haze it was actually purple and blue.

Jon covered his mouth and used his free hand to wave the think mist away. He couldn't see much but he could just barely make out a lone figure standing on his desk. Who ever it was Jon could tell it was female based on the tone of her voice as he coughed and gestured off the cloud of smoke herself.

Even though he couldn't see what the person looked like through the slowly dissipating smoke there was one thing he did know for sure. Based on the silhouette of this mysterious stranger Jon could infer that it was a pony.

Eventually the colorful gas evaporated revealing both Jon's messy desk and a dark neon blue Unicorn. Her mane was comprised of light streaks of blue almost to the point that it looked white, and her cutie mark was not visible as it was covered by a cape held together by a diamond.

In fact, aside from maybe a hat or collar, this had been the first time Jon had seen a pony wear much clothing at all. Most of her body was covered by a purple cape and atop her head was a wizard's hat, both of which were purple and adorned with blue and yellow stars. Whoever this pony was she certainly seemed colorful.

With the smoke now gone, and any sense of danger along with it, Jon slowly approached the Unicorn to get a better look. It was then that he noticed that she looked as if she would fall over at any moment. Her legs wobbled strenuously and her breathing was heavy like she had just emerged from underwater.

"Is she injured?" Jon thought to himself. "I better see if she's ok."

Although his study was now a mess Jon felt it was only right to see if she needed assistance. He quickly walked over to his desk to tend to his invasive guest.

"Are you alright?" Jon asked, extending his hand to help get her down. "Do you need-"

Before Jon could offer even the smallest of assistance the blue Unicorn slapped his hand away.

"Do not touch Trixie!" She said. "I can handle myself!"

Jon recoiled at the sudden rudeness that seemed to have sprung from no where. He noted that it would seem she was talking in the third person; by that he gathered that her name was 'Trixie.'

"Um, Who...are you?" Jon asked.

"Who I am is not important." Trixie said. "What is however is my present location."

She began to look around in all directions as a smile slowly crept upon her face.

"Tell me human," she said with a smug tone. "Is this place...New York."

"Uh...yes, yes it is." He answered. "Manhattan to be exact."

"Excellent! Then the spell was a success!" Trixie exclaimed, wiping some loose particles from her attire. "Oh and forget what I said before...about who I am being not important because in actuality, it is. Brace yourself human for you are looking at the one...the only...THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

Jon watched as Trixie flung her hooves in the air as if she had just won the lottery. She stood there in her pose for a good couple of seconds as if she was awaiting for an audience to cheer for her or to be doused by a shower of confetti.

"I'm sorry but...I'm afraid I've never heard of you." Jon said trying his hardest to tread lightly. This sudden news did not set well with Trixie, who just threw her nose in the hair in a manner that suggested she was better than Jon.

"Hmph! Well I suppose I shouldn't expect you to." She responded. "After all, only the most important ponies have ever heard of me. And I'm pretty sure none of them live here in...New York." She made sure to say 'New York' in the same fashion someone would explain a root canal.

Jon still couldn't see Trixie's cutie mark though with all the boasting she was doing he wouldn't be surprised if it was a picture of Kanye West's face.

"Speaking of which," she added. "Since this is New York I'm assuming you are the one they call 'Don Drewart?'"

"It's 'Jon Stewart.'" He answered, now sounding slightly annoyed.

"It does not matter what your name is," Trixie replied. "Just so long as you are who I think you are."

"Aaaand who do you think I am exactly?" Jon asked. This time it was Trixie who looked annoyed.

"If you are indeed the one called 'Jon Stewart' then you are the owner of that...show everyone seems to love so much." She responded.

"I'm guessing you mean 'The Daily Show.'" Jon shot back.

"Yes, yes that's the one." She said as she hopped off of Jon's desk onto the floor. Her graceful leap was met however with a thud as she crashed to the ground due to her weak legs; she slowly tried standing up which proved to be a challenge. For whatever reason she looked absolutely exhausted.

"Are you alright?" Jon asked, once again running over to help her up.

"Trixie is fine!" She shot back, once again refusing his assistance.

"Uh huh...sure you are," Jon said, standing back to give her some room. "Then well me...Trixie...why on earth does it look like you just went ten rounds with Big Macintosh?" Trixie, now focused on getting back on all fours, gave a somewhat straight answer for once.

"Well if you must know...getting here proved a bit more difficult than expected." She answered. "But in the end it was nothing the Great and Powerful Trixie couldn't handle!"

Seeing as how she looked as if she would faint at any moment Jon offered her a seat on his comfy chair. Instead of taking it however she began to walk around Jon's study, pulling out the occasion book or looking at a picture. Jon decided to do the same only he preferred to pick up the fallen letters and documents that had scattered upon Trixie's arrival and place them neatly back on his desk.

"Why are you here?" Jon asked as he picked up piles of papers.

"Isn't it obvious? Or are all humans has oblivious as you?" Trixie asked. Jon showed no signs of frustration; as a comedian in New York he's heard worse. "Trixie is here because she demands that you have her on your show!"

"I'm sorry?" He said, shaking his head in disbelief. "'Demand?'"

"Yes...'Demand,'" She responded. "It means to ask with authority. Try to keep up Stewart."

Jon stopped picking up his belongings to marvel at his present situation. He was at a loss for words; all he could do was give a confused laugh. Throughout his years in the entertainment business he'd met some pretty narcissistic characters but this one took the cake.

Part of what was catching Jon off guard was the fact that in his travels to Equestria, for the most part, every pony there was polite and respectful; almost as if their world took place in a kid's show. But this Trixie just seemed like she didn't belong there at all. She was rude, arrogant, entitled, and had a huge chip on her shoulder...she was more of a New Yorker than Jon.

"Well I...let's say, appreciate your offer Trixie," Jon said, putting a stack of envelopes on his desk. "But you see-"

"That's Great and Powerful Trixie, Stewart!" She interrupted.

Jon rolled his eyes, wondering if he still had that muzzle from when he first got his dog.

"...Noted." Jon said as he rubbed his hand across his face. "As I was saying I appreciate your offer but I already have a schedule in mind, and as you can see I already have a lot of people trying to get on the show as it is." To demonstrate this Jon motioned to the stacks of fan mail he had been getting since his visit.

Almost as if it was planned to happen a burst of green flame caught the attention of both Jon and Trixie before disappearing and leaving behind a new bundle of letters.

"See what I mean?" Jon asked, giving his rude guest a slight shrug.

Trixie stopped her exploration of Jon's study and made her way to his desk. In one smooth motion she stood on her hind legs and put her front hooves on his desk for balance. She examined the various piles of letters before giving a very audible "Ha-rumph!" With a single swipe of her hoof she sent a nearby pile tumbling back onto the ground.

"Do not compare me with these untalented ponies," she said as he tried to get back onto Jon's desk. This time he didn't lend her a helping hand. "Tell me Stewart, if these other ponies want to appear on your show so badly why are they not here?"

At this point Jon's sense of annoyance was slowly giving way to a sense of curiosity. As insufferable as Trixie was he was curious as to where she was going with this line of questioning.

"Well...I'm assuming there probably home right now." Jon answered. "But if you're asking why they're not here in my house making a mess it's because-"

"It's because they lack tenacity and the drive that I, the Great and Powerful Trixie possess!" She interrupted with a loud tone as if she wanted the whole world to hear.

Within the layers of arrogance that surround her previous statement was a kernel of truth. While others have wanted to appear in the show this was the first time someone from Equestria actually physically approached Jon instead of the other way around...and in his own home no less.

"To make it big as an entertainer one must have determination!" Trixie continued. "Isn't that rule number one for people like you Stewart?"

"And what would you know about the entertainment industry?" Jon asked.

"Well...if anypony here would be of some kind of authoritative figure on that matter I suppooose it would be you." She begrudgingly admitted. "But you know I'm right. I believe you humans have a term for it...now what was it?"

"Moxy?" Jon interjected.

"Yes that's it," She said as she flipped her hair. "You'd be a fool to squander your guest slot of anypony but me!" As annoyed by her as he was Jon had to admit that she was very determined...but then again the same could be said for a crazed stalker.

"Alright I'll hear you out." Jon said as he fell back in his chair. At this level, much to her delight, Trixie was now looking down on Jon. "Trixie...why do you feel the need to appear on my show?"

"Once again Stewart it's THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" She said as she raised her hooves in the air. "And I'm afraid you have it the other way around...it is not I who needs to be on your show but it is you who needs me to appear on your show."

"Oh do I know?" Jon asked as he cupped his chin with his hand. "Well then enlighten me...why do I need you on the Daily Show?"

"Again the answer is obvious!" She said her tone now more smug than ever. "You need interesting ponies for your show. Up until know your roster as been a cavalcade of mediocrity but with me on your show your viewership will increase ten folds!"

Jon leaned back in his chair, impressed by Trixie...impressed at how egotistical she was.

"Furthermore it has come to my attention you have yet to have a skilled magic user on your program," she continued. "As a proud Unicorn I can not allow my kind to go unnoticed!" Jon thought about what she said, and how wrong she was.

"I'm afraid your mistaken oh Great and Powerful Trixie," Jon said. "We've already had a Unicorn on our program before...very recently as a matter of fact she was really good. Her name is Twilight Sparkle."

The utterance of Twilight's name seemed to have resonated with Trixie.

"Yes I am fully aware that you recently interviewed...Twilight Sparkle." She said, pausing as if she had to get a bad taste out of her mouth. "And I still stand by my previous claims. Trust me when say Ms. Sparkle is nothing compared to me...THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

This time Trixie stood in a posed position for a longer duration than usual as if to act as her own exclamation point. Jon had heard enough, all he wanted to do was get rid of her. In that moment Jon had hatched a plan but for it to work he needed to tell a little fib first.

"Alright." Jon said. "I'll do it...I'll have you on my show."

"Hm hm, a wise choice, Stewart." Trixie said. "Perhaps you aren't daft as I thought you were."

"Right back at ya." Jon said under his breath.

"Come tomorrow I'll show you and the rest of the world what real magic is." She said. "Now then in the mean time I shall require a room of my own to stay in, as well as transportation to your show in the morning."

"Wait what!" Jon exclaimed. "Didn't you think of that stuff before coming here?" There was actually a lot of things she didn't think of before coming to his world.

"Well excuse me Stewart but I was under the assumption that I am now your guest." Trixie shot back. "And as such I believe I am entitled to a little thing called 'hospitality.'" Jon smacked his palm against his face in frustration.

"Down the hall, first door on your right." He said. "That's our guest bedroom. It's all we have."

"It'll have to do." She said, making her way to the door. "Please do not disturb me for the rest of the evening I must prepare for tomorrow."

As soon as Trixie left the room Jon got up from his seat to make sure is she was really gone. He peaked into the hallway and just barely missed her flank disappearing in the free bedroom. Now that he was alone once more Jon took out his cellphone and began to dial Celestia's number, hopefully she could use her magic to teleport Trixie out of his house.

But just as Jon was about to press dial on his phone a thought occurred...he still needed someone from Equestria to do an off-the-air taping of an interview. The only problem that Jon had with this idea was he didn't particularly enjoy the thought of asking someone to act as filler...but perhaps the answer was now in front of him, or rather a few rooms away.

There are only two ways for someone to be eligible for being used as a backup piece: 1) They're not famous enough or 2) they're not likable enough. And to Jon, Trixie certainly filled one of those criteria.

Jon thought that the act of having Trixie appear as a filler interview was somewhat mean. Especially since he had no intention of telling her that that was the case. But in the end he justified it to himself with the following reasoning.

"It couldn't happen to a nicer pony." Jon thought as he put his phone away. He turned off the light in his study and made his way to bed, ready for a well deserved sleep.

Looking back Jon realized he was very close to having Princess Celestia take Trixie back to Equestria that day...with hindsight Jon knew he made the right choice by keeping her.

Episode 9 [Trixie]: Please welcome to the show Trixie

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: The Great and Powerful Trixie (Trixie)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

The sound of cameras turning on could barley be heard over the audience who were chatting amongst themselves. Jon had sent out a tweet stating that there was to be a very early morning edition of the show which would only contain the interview segment.

Ordinarily the turnout for the event might not have been as big as an actual episode but Jon playfully made sure mention that is was in fact an "Equestrian" Interview to make sure people showed up. The result of this was a huge line waiting around the block to get in. The set looked as average as it always had with the only difference being the 'On air' sign would never turn on.

Before the taping a stagehand explained once more to the audience what this early morning shooting was for; after getting nodding heads he made a gesture and the camera starting to film. The crowd realized that the taping had begun which meant the show was about to start. This interview may not have been a part of a real show but the audience's excitement was very much genuine.

The camera angle changed slowly from the audience to Jon, essentially going from looking down from an upper level to looking forward from the lower level. The camera zoomed in on Jon who was rocking back in his chair and pretending to adjust his tie.

"Hi, welcome back to the Daily Show our guest tonight!" Jon yelled. "She is a traveling magician who is the self-proclaimed best magic user in all of Equestria. Please welcome to the show Trixie!"

The crowd began its usual level of cheering at the thought of not only getting to see an "Equestrian Interview" but also at the prospect seeing a real magician. For a few seconds no one turned up on stage which caused the applause and excitement to diminish somewhat...only to return again with even greater intensity.

Trixie finally appeared on set though instead of simply walking on out like most quests did she instead opted to teleport herself to the center of the stage in a cloud of vibrant smoke. She stood there hooves extended outward as if she was trying to grab the heavens. Before Jon could even get up from his seat her horn glowed with magic as she began to blast forth a spectrum of colors at the audience. In actuality it was only using a simple illumination spell but to those in attendance it was a wonder to behold.

Jon began to approach Trixie who was still providing her own show for the audience but immediately stood back once she threw up another spell which caused what looked like multiple flares to spring forth out of nowhere. Jon decided to stay where he was which was by the guest's chair.

After her little performance had ended she faced Jon who motioned for her to come over and sit down by lightly tapping the seat of the chair. With her magic now at an end Trixie noticed that the audience's cheers was slowly started to die down; she looked back at Jon and gave him a smug smile. She had an idea.

Once again her horn shined with a magic aura, an aura that also appeared over by the chair Jon was presenting her. Using her magic she forced it to roll over to her, surprising Jon in the process. The crowd found themselves in another uproar.

With the swivel chair now in front of her she easily teleported herself atop it and, using her magic once more, ordered it to carry her back over to Jon's desk. The crowd stood and applauded with delight while Jon walked over to his own chair giving his guest a non-sarcastic slow clap. He sat down ready to get things started.

"Wow, I gotta say," Jon said, pausing to let the crowd finish their cheering. "I've been...I've been doing this thing for over a decade now and that-- I've seen people come up to their seat but this is the first I've seen the seat come up to them."

"Well then I suppose those other guests just weren't as talented as me." Trixie said, nonchalantly looking at her hoof.

"Well...welcome to show," Jon said as he adjusted his notes. "I uh, I hope you've found your stay here in New York pleasant."

"Hmph, it's not the worst place I've ever been to." She responded. "I suppose it does have a...quaint charm to it."

"So uh-- so you're fine then?" Jon asked. "No complaints?" Jon would soon find out that Trixie had a complaint for a lot of things.

"Well now that you mention it I do have an issue I would like to discuss with you." She said, looking Jon dead in the eyes. "I am not at all pleased about your description of me for the intro."

"Oh uh...I had no idea." Jon retorted with a nervous smile. "Wha-what didn't you like about it?"

"Well for starters Stewart...'self proclaimed best magic user in all of Equestria?' She asked, leaning forward to intensify her glare. "Nothing about me is 'self proclaimed.' I simply am the best at magic. Don't believe me? Ask your spectators." Before Jon could respond he was cut off by a quick burst of cheering from the audience.

"I'll...I'll make a note of that!" Jon said as he comically scribbled on his notes. "Anything else I should know, Trixie?"

"YES; that! Please refer to me by my actual title...THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" She said, throwing her hooves in the air.

"How about an abbreviation?" Jon asked. "I could call you for GAPT for short?" The crowd chuckled while Trixie just gave him an icy glare.

"Ok..." Jon said raising his hands in defeat. "The Great and Powerful Trixie it is."

"Very good." Trixie said. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Jon didn't feel like answering that question. He just wanted to continue with some of his laid out talking points.

"So...Great and Powerful Trixie." Jon said. "Why do you think-- I mean, why are you the most powerful pony in all of Equestria?"

"Are you blind Stewart? Did you not see my performance?" Trixie asked. "I suppose it's true what they say about one's vision being the first to go in their old age." The crowed grew with anticipation, wandering how Jon would respond. For the entire interview they just assumed her attitude was just part of an act. It wasn't.

"No, no I saw." Jon retorted. "I mean my vision is just fine...don't believe me? Ask me how many fingers you're holding up." The crowd laughed while Trixie just continued glaring at Jon. The last thing she wanted was to be out staged, even on Jon's own show.

"But what I mean is...how uh, how do you know for certain you're the best?" He continued. "I mean have you gone around challenging other ponies, till there can be only one or something like that?"

"You're not too far off. For you see I'm actually a wandering sorcerer," Trixie answered "I go from town to town displaying my magic for all to see! And in my travels I have yet to find a single pony as talented as the Great and Powerful Trixie."

"It uh, it almost sounds like you’re a traveling performer." Jon retorted. "An...entertainer if you will."

"If you feel the need to I suppose you can label me as such." Trixie answered as she flipped her hair. "Though I prefer the term 'wandering sorcerer.'"

"Well riddle me this." Jon retorted. "Do you...display your magic for the entertainment of others or do you ever charge money?"

"I'll charge a nominal fee every now and again." She responded tentatively. "And yes I do generally use my magic for entertainment purposes."

"For what it's worth it really does sound like you're an entertainer." he retorted. "You know we have people here in our world who do the same thing. It's how they make a living."

"Is that so?" Trixie shot back, sounding interested. "Like who?"

"Well the most famous I can think of are Pen and Teller," Jon answered. "Um there are others like: David Copperfield, Siegfried and Roy, Mark Wilson...but to my mind the best is still Pen and Teller."

"Tell me Stewart." She said. "These magicians of your world...what kind of magic do they do. I'm certain their abilities pale in comparison to my own."

"My how...confident of you." Jon retorted. "But you see they-- that's another thing what they do isn't technically magic. At least not by any literal definition."

"Elaborate!" Trixie demanded.

"Well you see we don't have real magic here in our world, what these magicians do is simple parlor tricks." Jon explained. "They use smoke, mirrors, and the sleight of hand to make it look real when it really isn't."

Trixie gave the audience a look as if she wanted to confirm with them that what Jon said was true.

"I mean here in our world we have a little saying: 'a magician never reveals his secrets.' But in fact...some of the people I mentioned before have and every time it's revealed that their magic is...uh for lack of a better term-- fake." Jon said as he turned to address the audience. "Welcome to 'The Daily Show' where we ruin childhoods!"

The crowd laughed as Trixie, in a gesture to show off her superiority, used her magic to levitate the water out of her mug and into her mouth.
,

"My, how disappointing." She said. "The Great and Powerful Trixie was so hoping to show these so called 'magicians' that I am the superior magic user."

"Isn't that just a little bit presumptuous of you?" He said. "I mean you've never...met any of these men before. What makes you think you're better than they are?"

"Well Stewart as I've said before I have yet to meet anypony with more magical abilities than me," She answered. "I just naturally assumed that this world would be no different."

"Alright but hear me out for a second...hypothetically." Jon said leaning forward. "Let's say you uh, you did get the chance to go one-on-one with one of our magicians...what would be your game plan? How would you deal with, with their forms of magic?"

"Simple. Trixie would simply deduce how their magic works than replicate it but better." She said. "And thus I would show that there is nothing the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot do."

"You really think you could do all that?" Jon asked as he raised his eyebrow. "Just show up and beat them at their own game."

"Of course." Trixie said proudly. "I've said this before and I'll say it again: 'anything you can do I can do better!'"

"You can do anything better than me?" Jon asked

"Yes I can!" Trixie answered.

"No you can't." Jon responded.

"Yes I can!" She exclaimed. "Why I could even do a better job of hosting this show than you."

The crowed cooed with anticipation while Jon leaned back in lofty shock and gave her a smile.

"Oh you think ya bettah than me!?" Jon said with his New York accent. "You think you're that good?"

"Oh please Stewart," She said. "Your so called comedy is no difficult feat. Anypony could do it; observe." Trixie cleared her throat and used her magic to face the audience.

"Why did the Scootaloo Cross the road? To get the cutie mark on the other side!"

"What did one lumbercolt say to the other lumbercolt when he hit him with his axe? Sorry, that was an 'AXEident.'"

"What is a pony’s favorite drink? A Maregarita!"

"How many apples did Applejack need to make her Pie? 3.14!"

The audience as well as Jon laughed as soon as her routine ended. Trixie took their laughter as proof of her comedic talent unaware that they were laughing at how awful her jokes were.

"You know what," Jon said still in mid-laugh. "I'll give you this...you certainly are 'entertaining.'"

"Trixie told you so." She said raising her head in the air. "I mean, was there ever any doubt."

"But tell me oh Great and Powerful Trixie." Jon continued. "You uh...you say you're the best and that you've been going around doing your magic from place to place. Who--what obstacles have you had to overcome to get where you are today?"

The question was met with some hesitance on Trixie's part. Being used to people just watching her rather than talking to her she was not familiar with someone asking questions like this before. She had no idea that Jon was only getting started.

"Why do you wish to know?" Trixie asked.

"Well we have six minutes to kill and you seem to be really good at talking about yourself." Jon answered. Before Trixie could respond Jon made sure to give an honest answer.

"But really it's because it sounds as if you've seen a lot of things in your time." Jon added. "Plus I'm sure your fans would love to know a little more about you." Sensing the direction he was going in the crowd began to cheer for Trixie to answer. She couldn't say no at this point.

"I can assure that there have been very little things that can get in my way," Trixie answered. "But if you must know I would say my biggest obstacle would be...a lack of support for what I do. When I first started doing this I didn't receive positive feedback for using my magic for entertainment purposes."

"Ah I've been there myself." Jon said. "I was really young when I...started doing comedy and standup and because of that it was difficult to get a gig let alone get my foot in the door."

"It...It was hard for you too?" Trixie asked.

"Oh you bet," Jon answered, sounding as genuine as he could be. "I mean even my own parents didn't fully support my decision at first." Trixie was in the middle of using her magic to transport more water into her mouth when she lost focus, causing her water to spill on the table.

"Your parents?" She asked inquisitively.

"Yeah...I guess they didn't like the idea of seeing their baby boy grow up to be a dime-a-dozen comic," Jon answered. "But even though they had their disagreements they still made sure to respect my decision and give some support...which, let me tell ya, really helped me a lot when I was waiting tables at comedy clubs."

For the first time in the interview Trixie didn't have a quick and pompous response but instead had a look on her face as if someone had given her an extra hard math equation. He'd seen that look before.

"How about your parents?" Jon asked. The question caused Trixie to once again return her attention to Jon.

"Excuse me?" She said.

"Were your parents supportive of you being an entertainer?" He asked.

"I...wouldn't know." Trixie answered. "I've never really met my parents." Jon began to wonder if this was going to be one of those interviews.

"Oh I see," Jon said. He wanted to be tactful about this subject yet at the same time get her to open up more. "What do you mean exactly by...by 'never really met?'"

Trixie didn't know how to answer; no one had ever asked such a personal question before. Uncertain of what to do she chose to tell the truth.

"What the Great and Pow....what I mean is my parents left me at an orphanage when I was but a mere filly." She answered. "According to those who worked there I looked to be only a year old." Now Jon was certain that this was indeed going to be one of those kinds of interviews.

"I'm...so sorry to hear." Jon said.

"It wasn't all bad." She said, as she brushed her hair aside. "It was because of dear old mommy and daddy leaving me there that I discovered my special talent."

"Your special talent?" Jon asked. Trixie stopped playing with her hair and swung her hoof behind her to whisk her cap in the air. This briefly displayed her cutie mark which was a magic wand sprinkling what look like magic powder.

"Yes, as you can see by my cutie mark Trixie was born to be a magician." She said.

"If you don't mind me asking." Jon continued. "How...uh, how did you discover your talent for magic at an orphanage?"

Trixie debated on not answering his questions but in the end decided to on the off chance the audience would turn on her if she didn't.

"Well Stewart when you've lived in an orphanage as long as Trixie did you're bound to find your special talent sooner or later." She answered. "I went unadopted for most of my young life so when I got older I became a 'big sister' who was in charge of taking care of the younger fillies and colts who came in. A lot of them were scared or sad and it was my responsibility to show them around the orphanage."

The crowd as well as Jon held their breath less they accidentally distracted Trixie from her story.

"I found early on that I could use my magic to entertain them and make them feel more at home." Trixie continued. "I remember on rainy nights when we couldn't play outside I would put on magic shows for them. Or if somepony didn't get adopted I would cheer them up by using a spell to playfully levitate them in air, or as they called it 'playing rocket ship.' Some nights, if the children were frightened of the dark, I would use my horn as a night light till they went to bed."

"I see. Now...you say you spent most of your younger years at the orphanage," Jon said leaning forward so she could hear him. "And you discovered your special talent there so how did you learn to use magic in the first place? Did you teach yourself or something?"

"No somepony at the orphanage trained me," Trixie said as a perky smile found its way on her face. "An older unicorn...his name was Puppet Theater," Jon noticed that this was the first time he'd seen Trixie smile at something that wasn't out of arrogance or pride...she simply looked happy.

"Tell me about this unicorn." Jon said.

"Well he didn't work there or anything like that; he was also an orphan," Trixie continued, the smile still resting on her face. "He was a few years older than me and when I first arrived at the the orphanage he was the one who took care of me like how I eventually did with the other ponies. He had a fondness for carving wooden puppets and he would use his magic to make them dance for us. When I got to a certain age he taught me how to use magic like he did and we became good friends."

"What kind of pony was he?" Jon asked. Trixie answered as if she was a schoolgirl talking about a boy from homeroom class.

"Oh well he was unicorn like me of course but he was much taller." She said with a giggle. "His coat was a simple light brown and he had a wavy black mane. He always wore this blue bow tie and he had the most adorable cutie mark you've ever seen. A puppet held up by strings."

Jon had never seen her look so happy...which is why he hated that he had to ask his next question.

"So...where is--What ever happened to Puppet Theater?" Jon asked. The smile on Trixie's face disappeared.

"He got adopted." Trixie said bluntly. "Right around the time I got my cutie mark a family took him away from me-- us. With him gone I was the oldest pony and was in charge of taking care of the little ones...I never saw him again after that."

"You didn't try to get in touch with him?" Jon asked.

"I had no idea where he went so it would've impossible." She answered. "All I knew was he gone to live in some kind of distant town but I never found out which one." Jon tried to steer the conversation in a somewhat different direction.

"So when did you get adopted?" He asked.

"...I never did." Trixie answered. "I lived at the orphanage till I was too old to stay and the couple who owned the place, Mr and Mrs. Heart, were forced to kick me out." Jon didn't know at the time but Trixie getting sent away would become a common theme in her life.

"Whoa...I-- I can't imagine what that must've been like." Jon said. He tried to reach for her hoof but Trixie pulled it away. "Where did you go afterwards?" Trixie took a moment to respond.

"Well...since I was on my own for the first time in my life I decided to try and improve my magic so I can further my career as an entertainer," She said as she twirled the water in her mug with her hoof. "But with Puppet Theater gone I needed a new teacher so I worked a couple of odd jobs for the next year till I earned enough money to attend my first semester at a private academy for Unicorns."

"Oh well that's nice," Jon said. "Did you end up learning the kind of magic that would help you...as uh, as an entertainer?"

"Yes I did," Trixie said. "Unfortunately learning that kind of magic is what got me into trouble."

"What do you mean?" Jon asked as he scooted up in his chair.

"Well...remember when Trixie said her desires to learn magic for entertainment purposes wasn't well received?" She asked.

"Yes..." Jon answered.

"Well that all began at the academy," she continued. "Depending on where you go Unicorns will treat magic with the utmost reverence. To some magic is a sacred act which demands an equal level of respect...let's just say some of the ponies at the academy didn't like the fact that Trixie was using their precious knowledge of magic for 'fun and games.'"

"Could you give us an example of this?" Jon asked. Trixie took a moment to think before speaking.

"Very well Stewart, behold that power that is the Great and Powerful Trixie!" She said as she stood up in her chair. Her somewhat troubled demeanor was replaced with her usual egotistical confidence as she was once again back in her element.

Her horn became illuminated with magic as she began to cast bright light which filled the room. Some of Jon's stagehands caught on to this and dimmed the light. It was dark enough to the point where the brightest thing in the entire set was Trixie.

"This...is a simple illumination spell. Nothing special" Trixie said. "And this is what a little extra magic can do." The magic around her horn changed in color and flow and along with it so did the light it projected. The white light changed to a light blue color; before the audience could even give out audible reaction the color changed again and again and again till her point came across.

"You see Stewart one of the things I picked up from school was I could change the color of an illumination spell if I added some extra magic," Trixie boasted as she changed the hue again and again. "If I wanted to I could even make it I could throw the light around me in multiple bursts."

"That's very impressive!" Jon said. All at once Trixie ended her light show so she could address Jon.

"Well the headmasters at the academy didn't think so," Trixie said with a layer of detest in her voice. The lights turned back on and with it Trixie continued to speak. "You see to do these tricks I need to add an extra bit of magic and concentration. My professors didn't like that one bit. To them it was a pointless waste of time and talent to take an already simple spell l work extra hard to decorate it."

"So what did you end up doing?" Jon asked.

"What else could I do...I ignored them. I didn't care what they thought so continued to learn magic with the sole purpose of being an entertainer and traveling lands." Trixie answered. "A lot of my tricks came about from basic spells with a cosmetic overlay...as time went on I experimented with what I could do. Teleportation spells with funny sound effects, voice alteration spells where I could change my tone to something more humerus...I even learned a defensive spell where I could cast a smoke bomb to avoid enemies but changed it so the smoke was colorful and shiny."

"Huh, a young woman goes to college to learn and ends up experimenting, no that seems about right." Jon responded as he tapped his pen against his desk in anticipation. "I can't imagine this went over very well with your professors."

"No it didn't," Trixie answered. "They tried to get me to stop but I told them I wouldn't so they did the only thing they could do..."

"Oh don't tell me..." Jon said as he winced in discomfort.

"That's right; I as expelled," Trixie said without a hint of grievance in her voice. "They kicked me out too...I suppose they just could not handle the genius that is the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Jon paused to think of another topic to change to, wondering if it would just yield more bad memories for his guest.

"Ok so...you're now out of college and you have a new understanding of magic," Jon said waving his hand in front of Trixie. "What did you do next?"

"Isn't it obvious? One so proficient in magic as myself cannot keep her talents bottled up." Trixie answered with a smirk. "After Trixie was so wrongfully expelled I traveled the lands displaying my magic from town to town."

"How did that work out for you?" He asked. "I mean being a traveling performer must've been tough for someone on their own."

"Hmph. Well let’s just say there were those out there who shared the same...philosophy as my college." Trixie said as she idly adjusted her cape.

"Other towns didn't like you using magic for entertainment?" Jon asked, knowing all too well the feeling of getting thrown out of a night club because his routine was no good.

"Yes but that wasn't the only reason. It's true I performed in towns that didn't like my style of magic but other towns had their excuses too." Trixie said as she held her head high in the air. "The first town I visited was populated by traditionalist Unicorns who didn't approve of me. Another town kicked me out because they were all hardworking Earthponies who didn't allow magic. I even remember one city forced me to leave because I needed a license to perform on their streets...a license which they would not authorize to me."

"You...I'm sorry to say but you make it sound like you didn't have much success at all out in the field." Jon said which got him a sharp look from Trixie.

"You assume to much Stewart! While it's true I did have trouble getting around I was met with more welcoming experiences as well. Though even they had their reasons for wanting to get rid of me." She said. "I recall one town which welcomed me with open hooves. I made a killing there but some of the local flavor threatened me to move since I was taking business away from them. But that's not all; Trixie remembers a town that loved me so much they couldn't get any work done on account of their citizens lining up to observe me. The mayor asked me to leave since I was too much of a distraction...her words not mine."

Jon was starting to get a better picture of his guest...a sad picture of a Unicorn who simply wanted to call a someplace home but never could.

"Each excuse may have been different from the last but in the end...in the end every town had a reason to want to get rid of me," Trixie continued in a somewhat sad tone only to immediately bounce back to her pompous one. "They were all just jealous of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

The last thing Jon wanted to do was interrupt Trixie at the moment so he made sure to wait till she was done talking.

"So Trixie what, uh what town would you consider to have been the most hospitable towards you?" Jon asked. Trixie thought about the question for a second.

"I had a pretty good thing going for me in this one town...you might've heard of it, it's called 'Ponyville.'" Trixie said straight faced.

"I've...I've been there." Jon said nodding his head. "I didn't know you once performed in Ponyville. Too bad I missed it."

"This happened over a year ago," She continued. "For a moment I thought I might've found a permanent resting location. Or at the very least a base of operations. The citizens loved me, my magic was at its prime, and I even out did their local heroes with my power. Everything was perfect."

"Until?" Jon ventured.

"Until I was...out staged by the one called...Twilight Sparkle." Trixie said taking a sip of her water like she was trying to wash back down the name she just uttered.

"I know about Twilight Sparkle." Jon added. "We just recently had her on the show."

"Trixie knows of this!" She shot back. "Commercials promoting her were all over Equestria! Word of her appearance spread like wild fire."

"And that's when you first heard about it?" He asked.

"Indeed. The second I learned of...Twilight getting to be on television I knew it was up to me to take her place and show the world what real magic was!" Trixie exclaimed.

"Well if that's what you were trying to do you're a little late," he said. "I mean we already had her on and everything."

"You do not need to remind me of that," Trixie said with sharpened eyes. "But I can live with this...after all I do believe the saying goes; "save the best for last.'"

"I don't mean anything by this," Jon retorted. "But why did it take you so long to get here if you knew of Twilight's appearance three days in advance." This question was met by Trixie crinkling her snout before responding.

"Well like Trixie said before it was difficult getting here," she said. "I've never been to New York so teleporting here would be naturally difficult since I could not visualize my location. In addition this is an entirely different world which only made it that more difficult."

"Then how did you do it?" Jon asked.

Trixie smiled a most devious smile. To her Jon might as well have asked "Trixie why are you so great?"

"Trixie can understand your wanting to know after all, the method I used is rather genius if I do say so myself." She said. "You see since I've never been to your world traveling would be near impossible. So Trixie found an alternate route."

"You took the bus?" Jon asked. The crowd laughed while Trixie just ignored him.

"You see I concocted a special spell. A spell that took three days and many ingredients to make but a spell that once activated would have teleported me straight to you." She said, pausing for dramatic effect. "Since I didn't know where you were I had my magic do the leg work for me...I simply construed a powerful spell that, when activated, would teleport me to 'the funniest human on earth.'"

Jon felt a combination of both being impressed and flattered.

"Oh wow nice trick, hope you didn't leave your oven on." Jon joked as he adjusted his tie. "You know I gotta say it's a real compliment that your magic would--"

"Of course that didn't work at first because when I called forth my magic to teleport me to the funniest human it revealed to me that said human was a man by the name of George Carlin who had passed away a few years ago, so I knew that couldn't be you." Trixie interrupted. "I tried again and instructed my magic send me to the second most funnies human on earth but all I got was somepony by the name of Dave Chappelle who lived in a place called California. Based on this humans skin tone and general looks I knew it wasn't you. Then I tried again with the third funniest and again another name came up...some human called Louis C. K. Afterwards I..."

Jon leaned forward with his hand under his chin and listened as Trixie listed one by one names of people who were apparently funnier than he was.

"...and then when I asked for the eight funniest human my magic told me it was a human by the name of Chris Rock," Trixie continued. "Then I tried the ninth funniest but all I got was a hairy looking human by the name of Robin Williams, so then I..."

Each name she listed felt like a huge blow to Jon's ego which wasn't helped by the audience who continued to laugh.

"Finally I instructed the magic to teleport me to the sixteenth funniest human in the world and that's when I got Jon Stewart," Trixie added. "With the right human finally revealed I fully activated my spell and it teleported me to your dwellings."

Jon took a deep breath before responding.

"Are you kidding me!" Jon blurted out, slightly startling Trixie. "You mean to tell me I didn't even make it in the top fifteen!?"

"What can I say? Magic doesn't lie." Trixie said with a laugh. "For the longest time I thought my spell might have been corrupted. I would have tested it by asking who is the most powerful Unicorn...though if I wanted to know that all I would need to do is look in the mirror."

Jon wanted to comment that for all her boasting it still took her three days to use the spell while it took Twilight only one mid afternoon's worth. He decided against it on the off chance that she would take it personally.

"You know that seems like an awful amount of trouble just to get on the show. Especially all by yourself." He said. "Wouldn't it have been easier to...oh I don't know just ask for help or something."

"I don't need any help." She said with a frown. Jon could sense she was holding something back.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because I just don't! Other ponies may need help but not the Great and Powerful Trixie! There is nothing I can't do!" She announced, sounding somewhat angry. "Why would I need the help of those inferior to me? All they so do is dismiss me and cast me away without a second thought but once they all see me on TV they'll know just how great I am...I just...I just want to prove to the world that I am more then just a wondering Unicorn who does tricks."

Jon sat back and watched the passion within Trixie burst forward.

"You see this...this is all to show them what I'm made of!" She continued. "Now everypony will see me! My parents, Mr and Mrs. Heart, the orphans, my old school, all those towns that tossed me aside, even...Puppet Theater, They'll all see me and know what I've become!"

Jon sat back in his chair and smiled, for the first time he saw Trixie in a whole new light. Jon could understand how her experiences could leave her bitter, but underneath it all Jon saw a pony who just wanted closure...to be at peace. He regretted that this was an off-the-air show

"I mean...um what I meant to say was, the actual reason why I didn't ask for help is because I knew no one would," Trixie added as she admired her hooves. "Celestia made it illegal for anypony to travel to the human world without her permission so I did it alone to avoid being caught."

Jon stared at Trixie, waiting for her flawed logic to sink in but it never did. Now he was relieved that this was an off-the-air taping.

"You know what Trixie...from where I'm sitting you turned out pretty great," He said. "And another thing...I say fuck those other towns for not wanting you. I think I speak for everyone when I say as far as we're concerned you'll always have a home here in New York!"

Trixie watched as the crowd stood up and began to chant her name. Never before had she received such overwhelming praise.

"Listen we’re out of time but would you mind staying for about five minutes and we'll throw the rest up on the web?" Jon asked over the roar of the crowd. Trixie quickly looked back at Jon wide eyed.

"You...you want me to stay," She asked before shaking her head back and forth to regain her composure. "I mean the Great and Powerful Trixie could spare a minute or two. It would be a crime to deprive the masses of more Trixie."

"Thanks again for being here tonight," Jon said as he turned to the camera. "The Great and Powerful Trixie everyone! We'll be right back!"

The camera began its usual route as it ascended to the sky; the last image of the two is Jon whispering something in Trixie's ear as she used her magic to make an object levitate towards the audience. Soon the Daily show logo made its way on screen before disappearing in time for another commercial break.

Episode 9 [Trixie]: Here it is your moment of zen

Later that night at Jon's study

"You really didn't think that one through, did ya?" Jon asked a frightened looking Trixie who was crouched on the floor of his study.

Shortly after her interview Trixie realized the potential consequences of what she had done. She had broken Celestia's rule of not traveling to the human world without first going through her. This was a very high capitol offense which to Trixie meant she would be banished from the kingdom of Equestria.

Jon had explained to her that the interview wasn't live so Celestia (as well as everyone else) had no idea she was here. Knowing that he had been fooled into appearing on an off-the-air taping of the show surprisingly didn't make her mad but instead eased her troubles. However her relief as there was another problem.

In her haste to get to New York Trixie had forgotten to pack any of her mystical items. Her herbs, spell books, and other magical supplies were all back in Equestria and to top it all off she had used most of her magic just getting here. What all this meant was Trixie was too weak and ill prepared to travel back to Equestria on her own. The only way to get back home was to get Celestia to teleport her back...of course this would mean she would now Trixie disobeyed her orders.

"What am I going to do!" Trixie nervously said. "I'm stuck here and the only way back is through...oh now! Pl-please...please don't call Celestia...if she finds out I'm in your world she'll...no...no, no, no, no this can't be happening!"

Jon wanted to say something; anyhing to try and comfort her but this was all a bit outside of his scope of expertise. Trixie continued to curl on the ground while pulling her hat over her face to hide her expressions.

"I mean I...I can handle being kicked out of school or, or, or the orphanage but the entire Equestrian nation!?" She exclaimed. "A-and she'll do it to! She'll throw me away like everypony else I mean...w-why not!? Nopony loves me...nopony wants Trixie!"

Her ramblings started to become more erratic almost as if her brain was going faster than her mouth could keep up. Jon didn't know what to say, he just watched as Trixie wallowed in self pity and fear.

"...why does nopony want me?" She said with a sniffle. He could hear no more. If there was one thing Jon Stewart could not stand it was the sight of a lady crying. He had to say something.

"Look Trixie who says you have to go back to Equestria?" Jon asked, patting her on the shoulder. "I mean look...why...why don't you just stay here...with me?"

Trixie spun around, trying and failing to hid her tears.

"W-What?" She asked.

"Sure why not! I mean look, no one knows your here so you wont get in trouble." Jon continued. "You're always traveling so no one will know your missing."

Trixie began to calm down. She spun back around and used her hat to wipe away her tears before standing up to face Jon.

"Besides this will benefit me as well," Jon added. "I mean I'm still pretty new at this Equestrian thing so you could me my uh...my magical assistant."

"You mean...I would be your teacher?" Trixie asked.

"Oh well...uh YES, yes you will be my teacher!" Jon said.

"And, a-and this will be...my home?" She asked.

"Exactly! Who needs Equestria," he said. "And listen...if you want I'll uh...AH--whenever I go to Equestria I'll bring back some supplies every now and again for you. Then, only when you're ready, you can go back and no one will be the wiser."

For a moment Trixie just stared at Jon in Shock. She had a hard time comprehending why he was being so nice to her. Immediately she regained her composure and spun around to grab her hat.

"I...I suppose you need me that badly the Great and Powerful Trixie can stay and guide you for now," she said with her nose in the air. "If I am to live here there will be some changes! I demand a new bed for my room, three course meals, and I shall not be disturbed during mediation hours! Now then...I shall retire to my living quarters for the evening."

Trixie left Jon's study and into the hallway. Jon stood up to stretch when he noticed Trixie had poked her head back inside.

"Oh...and Jon?" She said, before dashing forward to hug him (though due to their size differences all she could do was embrace his leg). "Thank you."

With that she ran out the room into the guest bed room once again. Jon felt a warm fuzzing feeling for having done his good deed for the day but that feeling quickly went away and was replaced by dread

"Oh dear lord what hell hath I brought upon my house?" He thought. He walked towards his desk to pop a couple of aspirins to ward of the incoming headache he would soon receive from his wife who would undoubtedly be furious with him.

He staggered to his bedroom already regretting what he had done. The thought of having "The Great and Powerful Trixie" as a housemate was enough to make Jon want to put a bullet in his head...but she was in trouble and Jon couldn't just toss her aside like everyone else. It wouldn't be right.

As much as Jon hated his present situation in time he would look back on this day as the best decisions he ever made in his entire life. For unbeknownst to Jon at the time the decision to interview Trixie off-the-air and have her stay with him in his house would not only ensure the safety of himself, his wife, and his kids but also all of Equestria.

Episode 10 [Vinyl Scratch]: The suggestion

For the past couple of days Jon had been receiving fan mail, sent by Spike, from fans all over Equestria. Some of them were either ponies saying how much they loved the show while others were tips on how to make the show better; usually in the form of suggestions on who to have on next.

Trying to answer them all proved to be more difficult than he thought since they came so frequently. Because of this some fan mail unfortunately had to fall by the waste-side. The ones that Jon usually didn't respond to (but still read) were letters that told him who he should interview since he usually had a good idea of who he wanted anyway.

That is until he got one certain letter.

Jon walked down the stairs of his duplex penthouse, in lower Manhattan's TriBeCa neighborhood, and into his living room ready to start the day. It was a particularly lazy afternoon and Jon was looking after his two kids while his wife Tracey McShane was out.

It was very unusual for the the house to be so quiet at this time of day so Jon threw himself on his couch to take care of some paperwork. His kids were napping in the next room over but he wasn't alone.

A faint sound could be heard in the kitchen so Jon called out while at the same time signed some forms.

"That you Trixie?" Jon called out. The sounds of clanging silverware and drawers opening momentary came to a stop.

"Why do you humans feel the need to ask such stupid questions?" The voice called back. "If Tracey is out working while Nathan and Maggie are taking a nap one should reasonably conclude on their own as to who is left in the house. Though I suppose not everypony can be as wise as me."

To have Jon's question be met with an insult and self complement rather than an answer meant that yes...it was Trixie.

"Well so-rry your Majesty," Jon replied. "But for all I know you could have been some kind of burglar. This is New York."

It had been a few days since Jon invited Trixie to stay with him after her interview under the guise of being his mentor. To Jon's disbelief she'd been proving herself to be very useful. Though her knowledge of magic wasn't what made her a key asset in the Stewart household.

When Jon's wife first learned that Jon let Trixie stay with them she was outraged on many different levels. At first it was because he didn't consult her first and later it segwayed into the fact that she was a creature from another world who could use actual magic. Something which she thought wasn't safe to have in the house.

Not even Trixie's sob story (which Jon, and not Trixie, explained to her) helped in diminishing her frustration. She didn't care that Trixie had to place to go she just didn't want to be stuck taking care of her.

Tracey told her husband how they had no understanding in how to raise a horse though in retrospect it was a moot point seeing as how, as Jon explained it, Trixie had the cognitive thought necessary to take care of herself. That and, as a veterinary technician, Tracey knew what to feed such a creature.

Her animosity for the situation was only intensified once the kids had found out themselves and characteristically fell in love with Trixie. She feared that she would have to play the "bad guy" and explain to her kids why the Magic horsey couldn't say but as it turned out their infatuation for Trixie would inevitably lead to her staying.

Living in an orphanage for most of her life had made Trixie well versed in the art of taking care of kids. This coupled with the fact that Jon's children hanged off her every word meant that they did anything she told them to do, which was usually on the line of "go to bed," or "eat your veggies," and to address her by her full title rather than "Magic horse lady."

Although Tracey was still hesitant about having Trixie stay with them Jon's final selling point, which sealed the deal, was that they would always have a baby sitter handy. This meant that the two could go out to catch a show or have a date night whenever they wanted. This was too good a deal for Tracey to pass up so she eventually agreed.

Jon leaned back on the cough to stretch his muscles, using this momentary back and forth with Trixie as an excuse for a quick break.

"What are you doing in the kitchen anyway?" Jon called out.

"Still fond of those stupid questions I see." She called back. "I'm preparing a snack for when Nathan and Maggie awake from nap-time."

"You need any help?" Jon yelled out. "I can imagine opening the peanut butter jar is a bitch when all you have is hooves."

"I don't need any help," Trixie said coldly as she emerged from the kitchen and into the living room. "And I would appreciate if you kept your voice down; you'll wake them up."

Jon looked over at Trixie and hastily put his hand over his mouth in an obvious attempt to hold back waves of laughter.

"If you laugh...I'll kill you." Trixie said with an intense glare.

"I di--...I didn't say anything." Jon said with a large grin.

Trixie wasn't wearing her usual magician’s attire as she didn't want to get them dirty while preparing the food. The only she was "wearing," much to Jon's amusement, was a overly large cork that had been wedged on the tip of her horn.

Some of Tracey's conditions for having Trixie stay in her home were that she was to wear a cork on her horn when around the children and she was not allowed to use her magic on them. She was free to use whatever spell she wanted just so long as it wasn't done directly on Nathan and Maggie, though that wasn't why she had Trixie wear the cork. At around four feet tall Trixie's horn was in perfect eye level with the kids; the "cork horn" was just an added safety measure.

"So...so what's on tap for today?" Jon asked in an attempt to change the subject. Trixie gave Jon one last look before answering.

"...The kids will be having apple slices with low fat yogurt." She answered and she trotted over to the living room TV. "I've already set the television to their favorite TV show which they will watch only when they have consumed their entire meal."

"Nice work Trixie." Jon said and he leaned back over to his unfinished documents. "Who would have thought you'd turn out to be this useful?"

Trixie violently turned around to give Jon a scolding look. He pretended to not notice but it was difficult with Trixie since she (and by extension every other pony) had such massive eyes.

"Look it just a joke! I'm sorry, ok!?" Jon pleaded

"Not that." Trixie said.

"Than wha-- oh come on!" He said as he threw his arms in the air. "You're not seriously going to make me say it, are you?"

"Why not?" She answered. "Your children are smart enough to."

"...Ok fine." Jon said with a heavy sigh. "Nice work...oh 'Great and Powerful Professor Trixie.'"

"Very good student." Trixie said with her typical smug attitude.

"You know great baby sitter aside I haven't learned a single new thing about magic like I assumed I would." Jon said as he looked over some more papers.

"Let’s get one thing straight...I am not some mere baby sitter!" Trixie said as she jumped on the table, almost stepping on Jon's hands in the process. "I am THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

"Yeah I know," Jon said, as he tried to pull his paper work from under her hooves. "You tend to remind me of that about four times I day."

"That's only because your inferior brain doesn't seem to grasp it properly." She said. "Anyways like Trixie was saying...I am not a baby sitter. Children just happen to love me...but really that's no surprise. Everypony loves Trixie."

"My how fascinating." Jon said as he reached for Trixie with both arms. "Now get down from there. You'll hurt yourself."

Not particularly fond of people handling her, Trixie took a step back to avoid Jon's reach. In the process however her hoof slid on a piece of paper causing her to tumble onto the floor with a loud thud and girlish squeal. This time Jon didn't even try to hold back his laughter.

"I..I tried to t-tell you!" Jon said as he laughed loudly.

"Silence!" Trixie demanded.

"I'm...I'm sorry." He blurted out, his voice echoing through the house. "Look here let me--"

"No I mean be quiet!" She interrupted in a low tone. She quickly looked behind her then back to Jon. "You'll wake the kids!"

Now having realized how loud he was Jon was quickly lowered his voice to that of a whisper.

"Oh right sorry," Jon responded. "Do you need hel--" Trixie shot Jon a familiar look as she pulled herself up from the ground.

"Of course you don't." He said.

"Just be careful who you laugh at Stewart." Trixie said, never taking her eyes of Jon. "What goes around comes around...besides I know where you live."

Jon was about to respond when a flash of light erupted in front of him causing Jon to yelp with fear as he staggered backwards. Falling on his backside he made a loud crashing sound which would have caused Trixie to scold him further but instead just made her do the laughing this time. Though she was doing so in a much softer volume than Jon did.

Holding his heart as if it would leave his body at any moment Jon looked at the table which now held a stack of envelopes.

"Oh god dammit Spike." Jon said. "I swear I'm never gonna get used to that."

Trying to get up from his position proved harder than he though so he looked over at Trixie who was still laughing to herself. She paused long enough to see Jon's helpless demeanor. He grabbed his back and extended his hand towards her, motioning for her to come over.

"Seriously?" She asked.

"Hey cut me some slack," He replied. "I'm not as young as I used to be."

"Alright hold still," She said with a sigh. Never leaving her place she used her magic to carefully pull Jon up by his arm. "There you go. What would you do without me?"

"I shudder to think." Jon said as he used both hands to push his back in. Carefully sitting down Jon once again found himself back on the couch while a smug looking Trixie leapt next to him.

"I thought you were accustomed to...Twilight's pet dragon sending you mail?" Trixie said as she used her magic to levitate a letter to herself.

"Well I was at first," Jon answered as he took the letter away from Trixie, though that didn't stop her from just getting another one. "But that was when I thought he'd send letters to my study...I had no idea going into this that the mail appeared wherever I am. It's getting to be quite the nuisance."

In the past whenever Jon got a letter or other similar message via Spike's fire breath it was always coincidentally when he was in his study. Jon merely assumed that the whatever magic was at hand it was designed to appear in that specific location but in actuality the letter would appear wherever Jon was presently located.

"I'm going to have a talk with Spike the next time I'm in Ponyville cause this is becoming problematic." Jon said. "I've almost gotten into a car accident twice now and I nearly had a heart attack when a bundle of letter appeared when I was in the bathroom."

"Too much information, Stewart." Trixie said as she idly scanned letter after letter.

"And it's not just me, Tracey doesn't like it either." He continued. "Like last night when you managed put the kids to sleep early. Me and Trace finally had some alone time so we tried to make the most of it if you know what I mean."

The blue Unicorn looked at Jon with an unsure look on her face.

"Turns out letters can appear in the bedroom." Jon added with a frustrated sigh. "I tell ya nothing kills the mood faster than thinking your hair is on fire."

"Trixie does not understand," She said. "What do you mean by 'kills the mood?'" Jon slowly turned to give her a look of disbelief.

"Oh you gotta be kidding me," Jon said. "Look I know your world is literally all rainbows and sunshine and your national currency is good feelings and hugs, but I refuse to believe your world is without intercourse."

It took Trixie a second to realize what Jon had implied beforehand and immediately turned bright red as a result.

"UGH, DISGUSTING!" Trixie said as she used her magic to throw a pillow at Jon's face. "I do not need to know about your...private life, Stewart!"

"Now look who's making too much noise." Jon said. Trixie was still blushing and avoiding eye contact so Jon took this moment to grab a stack of fan mail and go through them one by one. Occasionally grabbing one out of the bundle to get a better look.

"Hm. Heavier load than usual." Jon said.

"It astounds me at how much attention your show gets." Trixie said, crinkling her snout. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has seen your program before...it is nothing special."

"Nothing spec-- it just won an Emmy last night!" He exclaimed.

"Hmph! Trixie cares not for pointless shiny trinkets." She responded. "Come back to me when you've booked a show at Los Pegasus."

Giving up trying to argue with her, Jon continued to browse sealed letter after sealed letter before eventually grabbing one at random and placing the rest back on the table.

"Ok here we go." Jon said as closed his eyes and tapped the sealed letter against his head. "I see a pony's name, a recommendation, and at some point the term 'somepony' gets used."

He tore open the top part of the letter and blew into it to retrieve its contents more easily. Pulling out a single letter he began to skim over it.

"Ok, let's see....blah blah blah, 'I love your show,'...blah blah blah, 'when will you be back in Equestria?'....blah blah blah, AH HA! Here it is!" Jon said as he pointed to a clause near the end of the note. "'..Also if you're taking suggestions, I think you should have my friend Berry Punch on your show! We always have her at parties and, after a few drinks, she always tells the best stories.'...I tell ya Trixie every single time. And if it's not a suggestion of who should be on the show it's someone asking if they could make an appearance."

"It's pathetic if you think about." Trixie said. "All these ponies begging and wanting to be on your show...it's sad really."

"Didn't you do the same thing?" Jon asked. Trixie didn't respond right away, she was busy trying to find a good comeback. Not a one could be found.

"S-shut up!" Trixie demanded. "Do not talk back to your teacher!"

"Sorry Professor." Jon said with a grin. He continued to look through the letters with Trixie doing the same. She never offered her assistance nor was she particularly helping in any technical sense. If anything it almost looked like she was searching for something, but Jon didn't mind.

After reading through a couple of letters, without his permission, Trixie stopped and began to stare ahead in deep thought. Eventually she turned to address Jon once more.

"Might I ask you a question, Stewart?" Trixie asked.

"Shoot." Jon said, his eyes never leaving the letter he was currently reading.

"You've read more of these than I have." She said. "Has...has anypony ever requested Trixie to appear on your show?"

Not expecting such a question to be asked, Jon stopped reading and tilted his head upwards to think. At this point Jon had not read through every single letter so he was unsure...though at this point Jon could not recall anyone suggesting her as a guest.

"It's too early to say, I haven't gotten through them all just yet." Jon answered. "Though I'm certain no one will request 'Trixie' to come on the show."

Upon hearing this Trixie tilted her head down to hide her face, and any emotions that it carried. Before she could respond she felt the gentle touch of Jon's hand rubbing her back.

"Now 'the Great and Powerful Trixie?' I'm sure I'll see countless requests for her appearance." He added.

Trixie didn't say anything but instead smiled. She didn't give any thanks and still preferred to hid her face but Jon could tell she felt better now, which was all he needed.

In no time the sounds of shuffling papers once again filled the room as the two continued reading through letters with Trixie mostly looking at who sent them while Jon went through and read each one.

"Trixie actually recognizes some of these names." She said. "Some of them I'm met in my travels."

It was true. As a traveling magician from Equestria, Trixie had met a lot of different ponies. Jon however didn't recognize a single name. Not just because he hadn't been to Equestria that much (though that certainly was a factor) but because for whatever reason fate had dictated that the stack of mail he was reading all had pen names.

"Yeah the ones I got are the fake ones," Jon responded. "Granted I know there is a silly degree in which some ponies in your world have names but I'm pretty sure these one's were meant to be anonymous."

To see if he was indeed right, Trixie leaned over to his pile and began to scan the many envelopes. As a citizen of the world she confirmed that yes they were not Equestrian names.

Rubbing his tired eyes, Jon leaned forward looking through his stack of fan mail in search of one to read. He challenged himself by seeing if he could recognize a name but he could not. All he saw was more pen names. Eventually however one name caught his attention. One that just stood out from the rest.

Some of the obvious fake names were stylized like "BluePegasus113" or "Yanhoover Pilot" or "Dr. Whooves" but this one just seemed beyond quirky. Jon took the letter in his hand and examined the writing on the front of the envelope.

"...What?" Jon said out loud.

Shaking his head proved to be fruitless as the name was still there and just as confusing as before.

"Hey Trixie...does Equestria have an Emperor?" Jon asked, his eyes rereading the address.

"No we don't," Trixie responded. "Not that I'm aware of. Why?" Putting her pile of letters down she peered over Jon's shoulder, putting her forehooves on Jon's leg to get a better view.

Jon doubted that this was from any royal governing body but nevertheless he felt compelled to read it. Using his free hand he tore open the note and began to read out loud it's letter.

"Hmph. If this so called emperor had any brains he would have suggested that I appear on your show!" Trixie said as she stuck her nose in the air. "But I suppose I shouldn't expect much considering where he lives. I've been to Baltimare before...trust me it's no Manehatten...now that's the kind of place worthy of a pony such as myself. For with great talent..."

Ignoring Trixie for the time being, Jon closed his eyes and began to rub his chin as he quietly thought out loud to himself.

"Vinyl Scratch...Vinyl Scratch." Jon thought. "Why does that name sound so familiar?"

After a few seconds of deliberation it hit Jon like a piano falling from the sky. Vinyl Scratch was the roommate and good friend of Octavia, another pony he had on his show. The only question is would she be any good to interview as her friend had been?

"Hey Trixie?" He asked, cutting her off mid-rant. "Ever hear of someone called Vinyl Scratch?"

As annoyed as she was for being interrupted, Trixie still gave the question a good few seconds of thought before answering.

"The name does sound very familiar...if I had to guess I assume she's some kind of performer like me." She answered.

"That would make sense...Octavia did say her roommate was also in the music field." He said, looking back at the letter. "Hmm...maybe it's time for a follow up interview."

"What! You're actually going to go through with this suggestion?" Trixie exclaimed. "That's a terrible idea."

"I don't know it sounds alright to me. Now that I think about it this isn't the first time her name came up in a letter." Jon said. "Other ponies made the same suggestion so she's obviously well known."

"I still say this is a bad move" She added "...If you really want good suggestions for guest appearances all you do is ask me! The Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"With all do respect this is one area I don't need help in." Jon retorted. "I've been doing this for over ten years now; I think I know what I'm doing."

"Ah ah ah Stewart," She said as she wagged her hoof in his face. "As your Professor I know better, which is why I am here by taking it upon myself to handle your business decisions of who goes on the show!"

"You're kidding me right?" Jon asked.

"I assure Trixie is quite serious." She answered. "Aside from your one brilliant choice of having me on your show the guests you've had from Equestria have been quite mediocre. So, if you please I'll need the list of names that Celestia provided you."

"Weeell Professor I don't know how you'll find time to manage my busy schedule," Jon said as he got up from his seat and towards the hallway. "Especially since you'll have your hooves full with the kids and all."

"Shows how much you know, Stewart." She said with a scoff. "Nathan and Maggie still have fifteen more minutes of nap time before--"

Cutting Trixie off yet again Jon placed the palm of his hand against his mouth to amplify his voice.

"HEY KIDS COULD YOU COME OUT HERE FOR A SECOND?" Jon yelled.

"Stewart what are you doing!?" Trixie exclaimed. Before Jon could answer a very sleepy looking pair of children in pajamas emerged from one of the rooms in the hallway.

"What is it daddy?" Maggie said as she held the hand of her brother who looked like he would collapse from exhaustion at any moment.

"Hey sweety Guess what?" He asked. "Trixie told me that she wanted to play video games with you two."

"Say what!?" Trixie shouted.

Immediately both children shook away whatever sense of weary in favor of looks of Joy.

"Really!?" They both said in unison.

"That's right!" Jon said. "So could you guys go keep her company while daddy makes a phone call?"

The two kids nodded their heads in agreement and swiftly made their way to where Trixie was.

"I object!" Trixie said. "I hate the foul contraption! All it does is make odd noises and confusing imaged! I don't understand it!"

Maggie and Nathan would have listened to Trixie but they were too overjoyed to pay attention. Maggie turned on of the gaming consoles they had by the television while Nathan ran up to yank Trixie off the sofa.

"Play nice you three!" Jon called out as he ran up the stairs to his study.

"I'll get you for this, Stewart!" Trixie called out from downstairs.

Episode 10 [Vinyl Scratch]: Jon makes the reqeust

With Trixie now occupied by the kids, Jon had some free time to make his new request. Alone in his study Jon picked up his phone, leaned against his desk and began to call Celestia. And did so completely by memory.

The phone rang a little bit longer than usual but like always the same soothing voice eventually answered.

"Why hello Jon." Celestia said. "What can I do for you today?"

"Hey Celestia I'm just calling cause I need a favor," he answered. "I'm looking for a certain pony for my show and I was wondering if you could help me."

"No." Celestia said.

"Good cause..uh wait...I-I beg your pardon?" Jon shockingly asked.

"Just kidding, of course I'll help you!" She said. "...I'm sorry Jon I just thought I'd joke around first."

"If that's your idea of a Joke then I got news for you," Jon retorted. "Don't quit your day job." Jon wondered if perhaps he was being too harsh to Celestia...something which didn't occur to her as she responded by laughing.

"Oh I just got that!" She chuckled. "'Day Job'...because I raise the sun. Oh my Jon, I suppose that's why you're the one hosting the show and not me."

Jon was tempted to tell her that he was in fact not joking but was being very serious.

"Uh, so about that pony?" Jon asked.

"Oh, of course," Celestia said. "Do you have a name."

"Yeah her name is Vinyl Scratch," Jon answered. "I believe she's a musician."

"Ah yes Ms. Scratch I do know of her," She answered. "She's quite famous in some parts...such a nice girl."

"You just said the magic word...'nice,'" He said. "Ever since my last guest I've been meaning to find a pony who won’t insult me at every chance she gets."

"Oh dear...that certainly doesn't sound like the Twilight I know," Celestia responded. "I was under the impression that you two really hit it off."

Immediately Jon slammed his hand over his mouth in a panic induced fear. He almost let slip that Trixie was in his world illegally since she never asked Celestia first.

"I'm..I'm just kidding again!" Jon blurted. "Twilight was great it's just...It's just she was a bit...let's say easily carried away. I'm just looking, uh looking for someone who is more used to being in front of an audience. Someone who is...professional and sophisticated like Octavia was. Her appearance really classed up the joint."

There was a small pause on the other line before Celestia responded.

"And to that end...you want Vinyl Scratch?" She asked.

"Of course," Jon asked. "She is Octavia friend, I mean you've met her before right?"

Ordinarily Celestia would have explained to Jon that in this regard Vinyl might not be what he was expecting but she remembered what Jon had said earlier about her not quitting her day job.

"Why yes I have met her before and may I say she is a prime example of how a proper young lady should conduct herself." Celestia answered. "The last time I had the pleasure of meeting her acquaintance was when we invited her to...perform at a royal wedding."

"See this is exactly what I need!" Jon said. "Getting the chance to play in an orchestra at a royal wedding? Can't get much more elegant than that! Let's set this up!"

"Very well, Jon," She said with a giggle. "Would you like to go ask her yourself?" The sound of something shattering downstairs told Jon that no, he had no time for a face to face inquisition.

"You know what I'm going to let you handle that," He said. "Things have been somewhat hectic around here since we've had another mouth to feed."

"Oh my! I had no idea Tracey had another child!" Celestia said with excitement. "That's so wonderful!"

Jon once again placed his hand over his mouth. This was strike two for Jon almost revealing Trixie's presence and he didn't want to risk obtaining a third one.

"Oh no it's nothing like that! We uh...we just have a guest over!" Jon said in a panic as he heard the sound of something else breaking. "Listen I gotta go! Tell the sun I say 'hi!'"

Jon hung up before Celestia could respond and without hesitation ran down stairs to see what the commotion was about. Unaware that the wild antics of Trixie and his kids were nothing compared to what he just agreed to.

Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: The rejection

As a professional entertainer Jon Stewart was used to the feeling of rejection. Early on in his career he grew accustomed to being turned away from the occasional night club or a stand up gig, and as a famous talk show host he got used to celebrities refusing his offers to appear on his show.

Jon learned a long time ago to not take it personally but instead build on that feeling to better yourself. It's as the old saying goes when one falls of a horse you get right back on...however as used to it as he was Jon still hated getting rejected.

"Fifteen times...how do you say 'no' fifteen times!?" Is what Jon was thinking to himself on a quiet New York afternoon at his home. He rubbed his forehead and swiveled in his chair to avoid the rays of sunlight that was still penetrating his work study.

Jon had just received another batch of letters from Spike and among the usual assortment of fan mail were some response letters from ponies that he had written to specifically. One of whom wrote back to decline his request for an appearance...for the fifteenth time.

This pony went by the name of Fluttershy, and like a child being denied a toy Jon wanted her on his show now more than ever before. When he first sent a letter asking her to make an appearance she responded with a simple "no thank you" the very next day. At the time Jon just assumed it was bad timing on his part and waited what he thought was an appropriate amount of time before asking again, only to get the exact same results as before.

This pattern would repeat itself several more times, each response containing the same three words as the last; "no thank you." Jon didn't take it personally (though it was hard to not do so) but at the same time he wondered why she was so amendment about rejecting his offers, especially since she never gave an explanation for her answers.

Usually Jon wouldn't pursue a single guest so persistently but this was by all accounts no ordinary pony. This Fluttershy not only rejected Jon fifteen times and refused to come on by request of Princess Celestia but she was also a member of the Elements of Harmony.

Whoever this pony was she was definitely a high-profile individual whose busy schedule was of such utmost importance that it prevented her from attending. This was Jon's train of thought for her rejecting his proposal yet again and it was also what made Jon want her on his program to begin with it.

Jon's fixation on the letter was soon interrupted by the sound of giggling and scuffling of feet just outside his study. What soon followed was the sudden appearance of his two children, Nathan and Maggie, bursting into his study at almost the same time. Without a word to their father they quickly spit apart and ran to opposite sides of the room with Maggie hiding under the desk that Jon was currently occupying and Nathan hiding in the wardrobe located at the other end of the room.

Jon peaked under his desk at his daughter who was holding on tightly to his left leg, she greeted him by pressing her fingers against her lips, signaling for him to be quiet. Jon looked up to see if his son would do the same but instead caught a glimpse of a blue blur just outside his door. The two children began to giggle to themselves which caused whatever it was that ran past his study to stop and turn around.

Jon heard the sound of hooves trotting in the hallway and before he could call out to whatever was making the noise a blue unicorn poked its head into Jon's study. It was none other than Trixie, Jon's magical assistant and the latest addition to the Stewart family. Before saying anything, or receiving permission to enter, she walked into the room and quickly glanced around.

"...Stewart." She said as she circled the room without making eye contact.

"Trixie." Jon responded as he watched her walk around the room, waiting for her to explain herself. After a few seconds of silence Jon decided to break the ice.

"Can I help you with something?" He finally said. Trixie didn't look at Jon right away, she only made eye contact after her search yielded no results.

"Perhaps you can, student." She said as she flipped her hair. "I am currently playing an oh so riveting game of 'hide-and-go-seek' with your children and I lost track of them. Tell me...have you seen them lately?"

Once again she looked away which gave Jon ample time to look downwards at his daughter who was still holding onto his leg and shaking her head, begging him to not give up her location. Jon leaned forward so she couldn't see what he was about to do next.

"Trixie, I can honestly say I have no idea where they are." He said as he pointed downwards. Seeing this Trixie smiled a rather cocky smile as she made her way around Jon desk. Without asking she pushed Jon asked and awkwardly squeezed herself under Jon's legs to find Maggie who tried to run away again.

Luck was not on her side however as Trixie very quickly used her teeth to grab a hold of Maggie by the back of her collar. She then proceeded to very delicately drag her out from her hiding spot. Maggie was giggling uncontrollably the entire time which meant Trixie had to wait before interrogating her.

"Ok little Missy, where is your brother?" Trixie said in a playful tone. Maggie defiantly shook her head and placed her hands over her mouth, both to convey that she would not squeal and to hold back her still incoming giggles. Trixie waited to see if she would crack but she remained steadfast in her reluctance to rat out her older brother.

Down but not out Trixie looked over at Jon once again giving him a raised eyebrow in the hopes that he would help her out once more. Making sure Maggie couldn't see him Jon motioned his eyes to the corner of the room and used both his hands to make a gesture like he was adjusting an invisible necktie.

Trixie knew exactly what this meant and immediately trotted over to the adjacent wardrobe. She placed an ear on the side of its wooden panels where she could hear the sound of stifled laughter and restless movement, she had found her prey.

With the element of surprise finally on her side Trixie used her magic to tilt Jon's dresser forward causing Nathan to tumble out in a dizzy haze with one of Jon's dress pants covering his face. Before he could make heads or tails as to what happened Trixie gently bonked him on the head.

"And Trixie wins again!" She announced pridefully. "Let this be a lesson for all who dare appose me, for I am the--"

Before she could continue her victory speech Trixie was tackled from behind by Maggie. Though she only meant to just give her a hug their size difference meant it was more of a takedown. Following suit Nathan did the same with Trixie now finding herself crammed in the middle of an all out group hug. She tried to force her way out but their combined strength proved to be too great.

Jon began to laugh as he pulled out his cell phone.

"Hold still!" He said as he snapped a picture. "Now that's...a Kodak moment right there."

"Ok kids fun time's over," she said. "Now release Trixie, please." A much as they didn't want to the children obediently released her, though Maggie took this opportunity to pet her mane a few times. Now free from the children's embrace Trixie took a second to catch her breath and straighten her hat and cape.

Jon loved the antics of his two kids and Trixie. Because of his hectic work schedule he rarely had the opportunity to spend this kind of time with his family so he enjoyed every second of it. His joy however would not last long as a blast of green fire appeared; bringing with it a pile of letters, quickly reminding him that he had work to do.

"Cooooool!" His kids said, not sharing Jon's sense of dread.

The sudden reminder caused him to sigh heavily which got the attention of those in attendance.

"What's wrong daddy?" Nathan asked.

"Yes, what ails you Stewart?" Trixie added.

"Oh it's nothing really." Jon dismissively said. "It's just more work I have to do." Hearing this made Nathan ran up to his dad, jumping up and down in the process.

"Anything I can do to help!?" He said with great enthusiasm.

"Tell ya what, champ." Jon said as he picked up his son and placed him on his lap. "If you really want to help me then here's what you gotta do. Build a time-machine, go back 10 years and warn past me to not take this job. Can you do that for me?"

Still sitting on Jon's lap, Nathan actually gave the question some serious thought.

"I can try." He said earnestly. Jon laughed and placed his son back on the ground.

"I'm fine really," he assured them. "I'm just having trouble with a potential client who--"

Jon stopped as the gears in his head began to turn. He thought that maybe he did need help; he just needed to ask the right person...or rather the right pony.

"Actually now that I think about it..." Jon said with a pause. "Trixie would you mind if I consulted you on some business?"

Trixie took a second to throw her nose in the air in a snooty fashion, unaware that Maggie was imitating her movements from behind

"I don't know...my time is extremely valuable." She said as she admired her hoof. "But I suppose if you really need my genius mind I can spare a few minutes."

"Alright then let's get down to business," Jon said as he turned to his kids. "Ok guys I need you both to go and play for a bit while daddy and Trixie talk." Unlike with Trixie Jon's request was met with great hesitation.

"Awwww but we don't wanna!" Nathan whined.

"Yeah can't we stay and help you too!?" Maggie pleased. Jon was about to set them straight when Trixie intervened.

"Now now children we'll have none of that," she lightly scolded. "Now listen your father and go play elsewhere...we'll continue or play time later." Jon was all but certain that her demands would fall on deaf ears...he was wrong.

"Ok, we will!" Maggie said as she gave Trixie a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The two children quickly ran out the door with Nathan poking his head back in one last time.

"We love you Great and Powerful Trixie!" He said. The sounds of giggling slowly faded as the two ran further down the hallway and into another room. Jon found it hard to believe that the two kids who had just left were actually his.

"What have you done to my kids?" Jon asked facetiously after a moment of silence.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie has merely shown them who is the one in charge around here." Trixie responded with a wave of her hoof. "Now then...you needed my help."

"Yeah...I did." Jon responded with an annoyed look on his face. "There's this pony--"

"Before we go any further," Trixie interrupted. "If you know what's good for you you'll delete that picture you took."

"Oh common it's cute." He responded. "It's like you're a marshmallow in between two crackers."

Trixie was unamused and continued to glare at Jon till he complied.

"Alright alright here." Jon presented his phone after a few swipes on its touch screen. He showed her the picture with a prompt asking if he was sure he wanted to delete. "You do the honors."

Trixie pressed her hoof against the screen and permanently deleted the picture.

"Very good, student." She said. "Now then...about this pony."

"Well it's like this, for awhile now I've trying to get this pony to come on my show." He said "But so far I've been met with some...reluctance."

"So she doesn't want to appear?" She ventured, getting a nod in return.

"See for yourself." Jon retorted, as he handed her the latest rejection letter. Trixie skimmed it over before giving it back.

"Has she said why?" She asked.

"Not at all." Jon answered. "This is the fifteenth time she's said 'no.' I've tried to get in contact with her via phone but Celestia says she refuses to talk to me."

"Maybe she just doesn't like your show." Trixie said. "I mean I can certainly understand if that were the case. You're program...could be better."

"Yes well there's a little thing called courtesy," Jon said as he paced back and forth. "I mean I don't like Fox but whenever they invite me over to do a show with O'Reilly or Chris Wallace I gladly do so...or at the very least explain to them why I can't make it."

His comparison would have made more sense to Trixie were she not distracted by how he phrased it. Her mouth opened but she said nothing, she was picking her next words carefully.

"I'm sorry Stewart but...but what was that?" She asked. "A fox once invited you onto its show?"

"Oh uuuh...not it’s just--" Jon struggled to explain to the perplexed Unicorn. "Uh you know what just forget it, it's not important...so uh, what if anything can you tell me about this Fluttershy."

"Not much I'm afraid...all I know is she's one of the Elements of Harmony and the friend of...ugh, Twilight Sparkle," she said with a grimace. "Although she's never had the pleasure of meeting me I've heard rumors that she's a bit of a pushover...So no I don't know much about her. And just as well I suppose, the Great and Powerful Trixie has no need to consort with such pusillanimous ponies."

"Delightful as always I see." Jon said, taking off his reading glasses for a moment to rub his eyes. Trixie arched her head at Jon to show her expression which conveyed that she wasn't amused by his back talking. Suddenly a look of realization appeared on her face and she looked to the left of her, where the kid's bedrooms were, then back to Jon.

"You know Stewart for what it's worth there have been some well documented cases of skilled Unicorns using their magic to time travel." Trixie said in uncharacteristically serious tone.

This sudden news made Jon look up at Trixie so fast it caused his head to slightly throb in pain. He knew Unicorns were a powerful species but he had no idea their abilities could extend to that of time manipulation.

"You...can time travel?" Jon asked.

"Well I've never tried it before personally but I assure you that there is not a single spell that I the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot master!" She said rather loudly.

Jon stared at her waiting for her to continue. With a statement as bold as hers was he was certain that whatever she would say next would start off with the phrase "But."

"...But at the moment Trixie is ill prepared to handle such a feat," she said in a much softer tone. "I still haven't regained all my magical energy since I arrived in your world...also I wouldn't know how to prepare for that kind of spell. The next time you're in Equestria and you happen upon a book of incantations I can probably give it a try."

Jon stopped what he was doing to look at her dead in the eye; he wanted to make it clear to her how he felt about her offer.

"Trixie...as generous as your offer is let me assure you that I'm perfectly happy with how my life is right now." Jon said trying his best to sound sincere. "Before I was just joking to liven up the mood...yes some days are harder than others but the truth is I wouldn't trade the Daily Show for anything in the world....but still, thanks anyway."

He returned to his work while Trixie, losing interest now that her services were no longer needed, turned around to leave the room. Jon was now going through his newly delivered pile of letters when something caught his eye immediately, it was a name he had recognized all too well.

"Huh, what do we have here?" Jon asked out loud, causing Trixie to look back at him from over her shoulder.

"What is it?" She asked. Jon brought the letter closer to his face, adjusting his reading glasses to get a better look.

"It's...it's another letter from Fluttershy. This is the first letter I've gotten from her that wasn't just a response to one of mine." Jon answered perplexedly. "OH! Maybe she reconsidered! Or at least is ready to talk business!"

In a very quick and dirty fashion Jon hastily tore open the letter like a child opening a present on Christmas morning. Trixie, interested in what the letter would say, trotted up to Jon's desk to join him. He held the letter at half an arm’s length and began to read. Slowly his vibrant expression began to sink and transition to one of disbelief.

"You alright, Stewart?" Trixie ask as she slowly nudged him with her hoof.

"You...have...got...to be kidding me!" Jon exclaimed as he stood up and threw his arms to the side causing the letter to float gingerly to the ground. Trixie was shocked by his sudden outburst; he looked as if he had seen a ghost or witnessed something he couldn't comprehend.

She looked down at the letter which lay perfectly at her hooves. Using her magic to levitated it closer to her face and began to read it's very neat hoof writing.

"A future rejection letter!" Jon said with a frustrated laugh. "She actually sent me a future...rejection letter...ok that does it, it’s time!"

"Time for what?" Trixie asked.

"Time for some drastic measures!" Jon answered as he rounded his desk. "I think a little one-on-one is in order here...I'm going back to Equestria!"

Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Trixie proves herself

In the short time that she's known him Trixie would never have categorized Jon as the serious type. For the most part she thought of him as just an eccentric human who just last night tried to get his daughter to squirt milk out her nose by using bread sticks as tusks while making walrus noises. However today was different, her perception of him had changed. After receiving news that he wouldn't get his desired guest he made plans to set off back to Equestria to ask her in person...Trixie had never seen a more determined looking Jon Stewart.

Trixie watched as Jon went back and forth collecting various trinkets he would need for his soon-to-come trip to Equestria like his wallet, cell phone, and good shoes. After gathering all his belongings Jon whipped out his phone and began to dial.

"Who are you calling?" Trixie asked in a demanding tone.

"Celestia. She knows Fluttershy is refusing to come on but I'm sure she'll let me talk to her in person." Jon answered as he typed number after number. "You uh...you may want to leave the room for this, we wouldn't want her to find out you're hear somehow."

Jon was about to press the dial button when the sight of a Trixie's pointy hat approaching him caught his attention.

"Pony feathers!" Trixie yelled as she slapped Jon's phone out of his hand. For an animal that was half Jon's size she could hit surprisingly hard.

"OW! What was that for?!" He asked as he rubbed hand.

"When you begged me to stay here I only agreed so i could be your magic professor!" Trixie barked. "So if anypony is going to send you to Equestria it's going to be me!"

Jon bent over to pick up his phone only to stop mid way to give Trixie a confused look.

"You?" He said, standing back up. "You're going to send me there?"

"Why of course!" Trixie said in a smug tone. "You don't need that stuffy old princess to help you when all you really need is somepony who is just as fluent in magic as her...somepony like me! THE GREAT AND--"

"Wait I thought you said you didn't have enough power to get back home." Jon interrupted. "I mean you yourself said the only way you could get back would be if another pony did it for you."

Trixie will still in mid pose when she got interrupted so she slowly lowered her head to look at Jon with narrowed eyes. She really didn't like being interrupted. Jon, in lieu of time, didn't want to start a staring contest that he would ultimately lose. He said his apologies and motioned for her to continue.

"...Somepony like me! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" She finished. Jon didn't comment right away on the off chance she wasn't finished.

"Are you done yet?...good." He continued. "But my point remains, how are you going to send me to Equestria when you're not at full power."

"For your information Stewart sending somepony to Equestria from this world is much less difficult then sending somepony to this world from Equestria." She explained. "The reason it to me three days, all my resources, and most of my power to teleport here is because I had never been to the human world before, so traversing here I was going in blind...but since I know Equestria very well sending you there will have much less stress on my body."

Even for someone like Jon, who was still relatively new to the concept of magic, her explanation made a lot of sense. However the logic behind her reasoning caused Jon to recall why she was stuck here in the first place.

"Wait so are you telling me you could have gone home anytime you wanted!" Jon asked as he pointed his arm in a random location hoping that Equestria was in that general direction.

"Again you don't understand," Trixie retorted with a deep sigh. "The reason why I can't go back is because even thought I know the layout of my world very well I still don't have the energy to pull off the spell...you see teleporting somepony else is easy but teleporting yourself is much harder."

Jon vaguely remembered Twilight saying the same thing the last time she was on his show. Though for the sake of clarity he still wanted an explanation.

"Well...how does that work out anyway?" Jon asked. Trixie rolled her eyes and proceeded to walk around his desk, looking rather annoyed in the process.

"I'll try to explain," she said. "But it might be hard for somepony like you to understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jon shot back.

"It means since you don't use magic you might not understand the finer points." She answered. Even Jon had to admit that what she said made perfect sense.

"Oh I...I guess you have a point." He said as he rubbed the back of his head. "Well could you give it the ol' college try?" Not one to turn down a challenge Trixie obliged by using her magic to levitate a signed baseball off Jon's desk.

"Alright...let's pretend that this is you," she explained. "Now watch."

With a flick of her neck she tossed the ball across the room over to the nearby couch.

"As you can see tossing the ball across the room is very effortless," she continued. Getting up from her spot she walked across the room to retrieve the baseball and placed it back on Jon's desk. "However having to physically bring myself across the room demands a little more energy and concentration...it might not seem like much but multiply that example by a factor of traveling through worlds and you'll probably get the idea."

Jon tried his best to understand the Unicorn's lecture but his mind was preoccupied by the thought of being thrown in between worlds like a baseball...it was a mental image he wished he could forget.

"Looook Trixie...I appreciate the offer but I think I'll just have Celestia do it," Jon said very delicately. "I mean...you're great but I think it would be in everyone's best interest if--"

"Jon...please." Trixie said with gloomy eyes. "I know you don't think too highly of me but...I want to prove I can do this...I know I don't have that much magic in me at the moment but if you give me a chance I know I can do it! So please...give me a chance."

Avoiding eye contact proved to be too difficult and soon he felt as if he was at the dinner table. Only instead of a canine begging for food scraps it was a Unicorn wanting to use her magic to transport him through different planes of existences. His initial response would have been a firm 'no' but doing so was a lot harder than he thought. So hard in fact that he buckled under and gave way to her begging.

"Oh alright." He said, looking away to scratch his head. "I'll let you perform the spell...but if we're going to do this I'm going to need a change of clothes." And with that a happy looking Trixie quickly began to move some furniture around to get some room for her to prepare.

Walking across the room Jon soon found himself at the very wardrobe that his son had previously used to hide. He opened it on both sides to reveal a wall of spare suites, pants, and ties that he had in case of any last minute usage. He was about to take this shirt off when he looked over at Trixie who was still busy.

"Uh...do you mind?" Jon asked while using his head to motion towards the door. Trixie stopped for a brief moment to look at Jon.

"Not at all," she answered indifferently. "Go right ahead." Missing the point entirely she continued to move the furnishing. Jon felt uncomfortable with changing in front of her but when it was apparent that she showed no interest in looking he began to remove articles of clothing as he changed into a more professional attire.

"A thought occurs," he said as he pulled up his dress slacks and tucked in his shirt. "If you've never met Fluttershy before how are you doing to send me to her?"

It was fair a question that Trixie hadn't considered, but not being the type to easily give up Trixie submitted a simple solution.

"It's quite simple really," she answered. "First tell me what kind of pony she is...species wise I mean."

Looking at Trixie through the mirror on the inside of the door Jon tried to recall by memory alone but could not. To fix this he walked over to his desk to look at his notes, multitasking at the same time by putting the finishing touches on his necktie.

"Says here that she’s...a...Pegasus." Jon answered. "Huh, I guess she can fly."

"If that's the case then she most likely lives in Cloudsdale." Trixie said.

"Cloudsdale huh?" He retorted as he slipped on his sports jacket. "That's the place that filled with Pegasi huh?"

"Correct. If this Fluttershy is anywhere she's bound to be there." Trixie said to a now fully dressed Jon.

"So...what kind of place is this Cloudsdale anyway?" He asked as he looked for his good cufflinks.

"Hmm I can't really say for certain," Trixie answered. "I've never been I only know where it is...to be honest I don't know much about it at all other than its location and that fact that it's a city in the clouds."

"...A city in the clouds?" Jon repeated as he held on to his sleeve. "Ooooh please tell me their leader is someone called 'Lando Calrissian.'"

Trixie glanced over to give him a curious look. She didn't get the reference.

"Uuuh nevermind," he said as he continued to look around. "So...this place sounds rather nice. I bet the apartments have one hell of a skyline view...how come you've never been?"

"Never had the chance...didn't even know it existed till it was too late,” she said. "I hail from a town far to the east, close to the coastal line so I'm not too familiar with the whole 'Ponyville, Cloudsdale, and Canterlot district."

"I see," Jon said now in autopilot. "How interesting." Trixie noticed this and rolled her eyes.

"Stewart!" She yelled, getting his full attention as she pointed to Jon's desk. "Left side...second drawer."

Jon stood still for a second while Trixie continued to point at his desk. Slowly he walked over and checked that drawer that she had mentioned. Among other things like his checkbook and a loose collection of pens were a pair of shiny cuff links.

"Ah!...uh thanks." He said.

"Alright...are you ready Stewart? She asked.

"As I'll ever be...so how exactly does this work anyway?" He asked. Trixie responded first by making her horn glow with light.

"Basically a teleporation spell is very easy to cast but since we're going to be doing this through different worlds I'll need to stabilize a lot more energy than what is normally needed." She answered. "At this much power I could teleport you across the room...maybe even to the other side of the house. What we need is enough to send you to Equestria. So it's all about getting enough magic in my horn without it blowing up in my face."

"And do you think you can do that...just handle that much magic at once?" Jon asked.

"Oh please," she responded. "The Great and Powerful Trixie can do anything!...behold!"

Her horn began to pulsate faster and faster as more magic began to build up at it's tip. Jon, going by experience, quickly covered his eyes before the eventual burst of magic could blind him. Not long after doing so however he heard a sound that resembled a device powering down. When he opened his eyes he saw Trixie rubbing her own horn with a look of discomfort on her face.

"...What happened?" He asked with one eye open.

"N-nothing!" She quickly responded. "The magic just discharged a bit...don't worry though that was just a practice run...here I go for real now!"

Once again a large amount of magic began to build up and once again Jon closed his eyes. However what followed was the same pattern as before, the building up of magic that she could not control. She'd never admit it to Jon or herself but Trixie couldn't handle that much magic at once.

"Uh...you ok?" He asked. "I mean I'll understand if--"

"Stewart please!" Trixie shot back. "I'm just...I'm just not used to this kind of pressure...Trixie demands that you give me some room!" Jon took a step back and waited but once again the results were the same.

A good 15 minutes passed and Trixie was still going through the same three steps over and over again. Build up magic, try to stabilize magic, have magic blow up in face. Wash, rinse, and repeat. To her credit she never gave up but the same could not be same for Jon who was now sitting in front of her with a copy of the day's newspaper in his hands...he was passing the time by trying to do the crossword.

Again Trixie tried to harness the vast amount of magic and like before it didn't work. This time she didn't try it again right away but instead took some time to catch her breath.

"Hey while I got you here can you help with this," he said. "Seven letter word going down. 'Mystical creature of many animals'...any ideas?"

"SILENCE STEWART! I...I almost...had it" She said in between breaths. "Your professor...needs...absolute quiet!"

"Sorry Obi Wan." Jon said as he got up to stretch his legs. "Please continue."

Now having given up on his crossword Jon moved on to the Horoscope section to pass the time. He looked under Sagittarius which read; "An unwanted guest means to do you harm. Seek help from a close friend to undo the damage."

Jon was about to suggest that they skip this idea and just call Celestia but he felt obligated to at least let her try a few more times. Although he didn't show it through his droll expression he actually wanted her to succeed. Proving that she was as magically competent as anyone else was a big deal for her and Jon knew the feeling.

Once again Trixie tried to conjure forth the right amount of magic but this time she could barely make it past step two. Her frustration was very visible and in anger she slammed her hoof against the floor.

"I can do this!" She said. "I...can do this!" She slowly began to charge her horn at a much slower pace than before. He wanted to spout some encouragement at her but he knew all to well that her pride would not allow her to accept it. Her type only responded to one thing and Jon knew exactly what to do.

"You know Trixie I probably could have walked to Cloudsdale by now." He said in an arrogant tone.

"S-shut up!" She said. "I'm going to do this, dammit!"

"Yeah yeah sure you will," he continued, now in full heckle mode. "I mean hell you couldn't even finish your first semester at Magic College but I'm suuuure you'll get this right."

"I'm...not listening." She said as the magic in her horn grew larger and larger.

"You know for the record Twilight performed the same spell on me rather quickly when I went to go visit her." Jon said instantly grabbing her attention by the mere utterance of Twilight's name. "And she manage to get it right...on her first try."

With eyes filled with rage Trixie let forth a scream of determination bringing with it a bright light. When Jon opened his eyes she saw Trixie in the middle of room, huffing in rhythm to the sound the massive amounts of stabilized magic emanating from her horn.

"HA! Trixie told you she could do it!" She announced proudly. "Now prepare yourself Stewart, the time has come!"

"Well alright! Let's get this show on the road!" He said with excitement as he lined himself in front of her.

"Alright...just relax while I focus on sending to you Cloudsdale." Trixie said as she closed her eyes.

While he waited he reflected on how Trixie manage to do what few ponies could ever do, sustaining the amount of magic needed to travel through worlds. He could feel a twang of pride inside not unlike how he felt when one of his children does well in school. He wanted to congratulate her properly but decided against it on the off chance it would break her concentration.

"Get ready Stewart..." Trixie warned. Jon obliged and closed it eyes. But as he did a thought crosses his mind, it was something that he didn't think about till just then.

"Hey wait a minute," he said as he opened his eyes. "If you're sending me there...then who's going to bring me ba--"

Before Jon could finish his sentence the magic in her horn activated completely in a large burst of light, leaving only Trixie behind in the Study. Dropping to her knees Trixie focused on her breathing which was spastic and uneven, unaware that Jon was in even worse shape.

Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Jon's free falling adventure

The only direct interaction Jon ever had with magic was his dealings with Celestia and for a brief moment in time with Twilight Sparkle, both of whom were tasked with transporting him to and from Equestria. In both cases they teleported Jon instantaneously due to their respective understanding of Magic, but with Trixie it was different.

Her magic wasn't as refined as theirs and as a result it took a few seconds for Jon to reappear in the world of talking ponies. The time between his departure from New York and his eventual arrival in Cloudsdale was spent in an almost purgatory-esque state of existence. But due to the carelessness of Jon he could not see anything as he had foolishly opened his eyes at the moment of the spells activation, momentarily blinding him. His sight slowly began to return in conjuncture with his return to Equestria.

"Trixie!? A-are you still there?" Jon called out as he stumbled backwards in the empty void. "Did it work? Hey! Can anyone hear me? I'm I in CloudsdaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Before Jon could fully regain his sight he felt a sudden explosion of different sensations. He felt as if he was falling down, like someone had pulled the ground from beneath his feet. Any attempt to find his center of gravity was met with much difficulty. In addition he suddenly felt cold but at the same time he can feel the suns warm rays beating down on him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" Jon yelled out in a panic. "WHERE AM I!?" The sound of wind rushing by him was so great he could barely hear himself let alone the voice of anyone who could answer him. He called out again but no one responded to his cries for assistance, he was completely alone.

Soon Jon's vision came back in full. He took this time to look up, or what he believed to be up. He was surrounded by a thick layer of fog too dense for him to see past and judging by how bright it was it was morning in Equestria. Before Jon could call for help again he successfully passed through the seemingly endless wave of fog and was now greeted by endless blue skies. Still looking in an upwards direction Jon could now see that what he thought was thick fog was in fact clouds, each one bearing evidence that he had penetrated it in the form of a hole.

A disturbing thought crossed his mind and with much hesitation he began to shift his weight so he could see below him, and what he saw terrified him to the point where he lost the feeling in every muscle. He could see open land spread out of miles, along with the occasional town and even the Canterlot Castle further in the distance. Jon's mind raced with dozens of possible explanations as to what went wrong or what was happening all leading to one solitary point. He was now free falling down to earth and would soon die.

"H..h-help...h...help" Jon said, his voice steadily rising. "Help me! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP!!!" As if they had a mind of their own his arms began to flail wildly in an attempt to grab a hold of something, He looked in all directions for signs of life but none could be found, though even if there was it would be difficult for him to see them with the constant gust of wind in his eyes.

The barely audible screams of help continued to go unnoticed and his sore throat forced him to stop for the time being. He covered his ears, which were popping uncontrollably, to drown out the sound of wind so he could think. No good ideas came to mind, as evident by his continued attempt to call out for help.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" He screamed again. "PLEASE HELP...I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

Although he tried his hardest not to he eventually looked back down at the world laid out before him like an open book. It was hard to tell at first but the landmarks that at first seemed so far away were now bigger, which meant that he was getting closer and closer to the unforgiving ground.

In a last ditch effort Jon began to cry to the one who brought him here in the first place.

"Trixie! Trixie if you can hear me get me out of here!" He shouted. But like before no one answered, though that didn't stop him from trying again. "Trixie I swear to god if you don't get me out of here right now I'll sell your blue ass to a glue factory then I'll turn you over to Celestia and she'll--"

Jon stopped himself mid rant. He had unintentionally given himself an idea, an idea that he wouldn't normally consider but in this case he made an exception... he was very desperate.

Reaching into his sports jacket he pulled out his cell phone, his plan was to call Celestia and have her use her magic to save him. The wind in his face made it very difficult for him to see where or what he was typing. Luckily he still had her number dialed from when he tried calling her in his study, prior to Trixie's interference.

However his luck ended when he tried to press dial. After hitting a little bit of turbulence the phone slipped from his grasp, the constant stream of upwards wind was too strong for Jon to handle. Time seemed to slow down for Jon, he watched in horror as his phone began to hover overhead and eventually out of reach.

"NO!" Jon yelled as he tried and failed to grab his phone which was now miles above him. Out of morbid curiosity he looked back down and noticed that the ground seemed a lot closer than before; the longer he fell the faster his velocity became...his eventual contact with solid ground was getting closer.

Jon's tried to keep his eyes open but it was difficult since he slowly starting to lose control of his senses. His body, as if trying to lessen the inevitable pain, began to shut down and slip into an unconscious state. With the last bit of energy he had left he tried one more time to call for help; his voice weak and his body almost numb.

"Help....me." He said as his eyes closed. "Help....please."

But just as he was about to slip away something incredible happened. All at once, and without warning, Jon's deadly decent came to a sudden halt, forcing him to awake once again. The resulting velocity of going from 250 miles an hour to a complete stop caused a great deal of pressure to go to his lower stomach; he was now awake but he had to do everything in his power to prevent himself from regurgitating whatever food he had left in his system.

He was aware of his surroundings but his senses were still dull. Despite his vision not fully returning he could see a vast and beautiful scenery which, much to Jon's relief, was standing still. His ears were ringing from the pain of falling from such a high altitude as they had popped several times. He closed his eyes and grabbed his heart which was beating so rapidly he could hear it. Never before was he so grateful that his wife had put him on a strict egg whites only diet.

His main priority at the moment was trying to focus on his breathing which was difficult since he was hyperventilating.

Jon was still unsure as to why he had stopped falling; did Trixie save him after all? Did he land on something soft? Or maybe Celestia did hear his cries for help. In truth he didn't care, he was just happy that he was saved.

His ears were starting to regain their function, the first thing he could hear was the faint sound of someone talking, though it was hard to make out. Slowly the muffled sounds got louder and clearer to the point where Jon could now understand it.

"...eeeeey! I said are you alright?" The voice asked. "Hey common wake up, big guy." Along the with strangers voice Jon could also hear another faint noise. It was the sound of wings flapping...had Jon been rescued by a guardian angel?

With all of his senses now returning (though not all at once) Jon could feel something holding him up on either side of him. He looked to his left and right and saw a pair of hooves, each one firmly under an armpit. Slowly Jon looked upwards and was now staring straight into the eyes of his rescuer.

"You ok, dude?" The tomboyish voice said. "I swear you tourists are getting crazier every year!"

The person looking back at Jon was a pony...a Pegasus to be exact. She was cyan colored and her eyes were purple. She seemed very strong since she was able to hold Jon up with her hooves and keep them both afloat with her wings with very little effort.

For the first time ever Jon actually recognized a citizen of Equestria without having them introduce themselves. This was done through simple inference since the biggest and most visual feature about her was her mane which, along with being somewhat messy, was a multitude of technicolor.

"Rain...Rainbow Dash?" Jon asked sheepishly.

"Yep!" She responded with a smile. "That's me!"

Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Rainbow Dash won't take no for an answer

Even though he was still delirious from his near death experience there was no doubt in Jon's mind that the pony who had just rescued him was Rainbow Dash. He had never met her before but her mane was a dead giveaway. At this point though it didn't matter who rescued him, all that mattered was that thanks to her he would live to see another day.

"You gonna be ok Mr.?" She asked, her rainbow mane brushing against Jon's face.

"Oh god, thank you!" Jon blurted out as he relaxed his body. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Heh heh no problem," She responded proudly. Soon after her large eyes widened as a result of her making a sudden realization.

"Heeeeey I know you!" She said, flapping her wings harder with excitement. "You're the guy form the TV...Jon Stewart! Oh wow, I love your show!"

In his weakened state Jon was unable to hold is head up any longer, he slumped down in a mixture of relief and exhaustion. Rainbow Dash on the other hand was bursting with energy and was still trying to talk to him.

"What were you doing in Cloudsdale?" She asked while still being able to hold up his dead weight body. "How did you even get all the way up there?"

"Look....Rainbow Dash." Jon said in a low lifeless sounding voice. "I don't mean to be...rude here but could you please save any and all questions till I'm back on solid ground?"

"Oh right, sorry." She said with a slight laugh. "Don't worry Johnny I'll get ya back down!" Flapping her wings even harder she gained a little bit of altitude and took a deep breath like she was about to do a power-dive.

"SLOWLY PLEASE!" Jon yelled, once again grabbing his heart. "Please I just...please just set me down...nice and slowly...please...I don't want to fall."

She obliged and began to descend at a slow enough pace that there was very little to no turbulence. Jon now felt more relaxed about his present situation and as a result his breathing regulated itself to longer deep breaths. His sense of relief was then broken by the sound of his savior trying to talk to him again.

"Soooo why were you in Cloudsdale?" She repeated, convinced that she had waited long enough to start asking questions again. Jon took a very deep and lengthy sigh to convey his feelings but Rainbow Dash was still awaiting an answer. With all that had happened Jon momentary forgot why he was even there in the first place but it all came back to him.

"I...I was...I'm here on business." Jon responded thinking his answer would be enough for her and that she would drop the subject...she didn't

"What kind of business?" She responded by whispering in Jon's ear. "Come oooon you can tell me!"

"Look here Ms. Dash you seem like a nice kid," Jon said. "So...I'm just going to be honest with you. I don't--"

"OH OH wait were you here looking for somepony to be on your show!?" She interrupted excitedly, rocking back and forth in the process.

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch it will ya!?" Jon said as he lightly flailed his legs.

"Well!?" She asked, her downward flight coming to a stop. "Were ya?"

"Yes, yes, you're right! I was scouting for talent!" Jon said feeling slightly nervous. "I was looking for a my next guest. Now can you please just keep going down!?"

Once again they made their decent only this time she was swaying back and forth out of joy which only made Jon feel ill.

"ALRIGHT! I knew you'd get my letters!" She said triumphantly. "I can't freaking wait! When do you need me by?"

"W-what are you talking about?" He asked as he was being rocked back and forth like a rag doll.

"My letters to you, duh!" She said. "I've sent you like twenty of them asking if I can be on your show and now you've finally come to get me! This is so awesome!"

When he thought about it Jon could vaguely recall getting a few letters from her requesting that she be on his show. If he recalled correctly they were the ones with really bad penmanship. Since she was also a member of the Elements of Harmony Jon wanted to cash in on her willingness to appear at a later time, preferably on a rainy day or special occasion. This not being one of them.

"Oh yeah right...look about that," Jon said trying his best to sound respectful. "I appreciate your offer but the thing is--"

"Although you really should have called me first or sent me a letter back," Rainbow Dash interrupted. "I don't know how you got up there but it's dangerous for an outsider to go to Cloudsdale...only a Pegasus can walk on clouds ya know."

"Ok, but look I've alre-- wait...wait what did you say?" He said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I saaaaaid only us Pegasi can walk on clouds," she repeated. "Anypony else who tries ends up...well like you."

For the good of his health Jon tried to not get angry but instead took deep breaths to calm himself. He focused not on ways he would pound Trixie into gravy but on how he would now have to shatter the dreams of his winged friend.

"Ok...look kid...I appreciate your enthusiasm but I didn't come to Cloudsdale looking for you." He said much to the shock of Rainbow Dash. "I came here looking for a pony named 'Fluttershy.'" Again the two stopped their decent which annoyed Jon to no end.

"WHAT! FLUTTERSHY!?" She exclaimed incredulously. "Why would you want to interview her!? I would make a waaay better guest than that scaredy pony! I mean with me ya get the whole package! I'm strong, fast, have loads of charisma, good looks, and not to mention I know how to--"

"Rainbow Dash at this rate I won't even make it back in time to start the show!" Jon interrupted. "So please...could you just focus on getting me onto the ground!"

"Ugh...alright fine." She said with a sour face.

Her body drooped in disappointment as she began to fly downwards at a much slower pace than before. Sulking the entire way down.

"Oh and by the way if you came all the way up here looking for her then you're out of luck," she said, her tone slightly uncaring. "I don't know where you got the idea but Fluttershy hasn't lived at Cloudsdale in years...she lives in a cottage on the outskirts of Ponyville."

Upon hearing this new detail Jon's hands began to shake in anger and his eyes darted back and forth wildly like he was trying to look for something.

"Wait...are you telling me that not only am I unable to walk around your city...I was also in the entire wrong district?" Jon asked in a passive aggressive tone.

"That's right, big guy." Rainbow Dash answered in a slightly amused tone.

"Oooooh I am going to kill Trixie." Jon said under his breath so Rainbow Dash couldn't hear him.

"But hey that's alright cause now I'm here to save your ass again!" She continued as she puffed out her chest. "Who needs that ol' wimpy Fluttershy when you've got me!...Have me on your show and I guarantee it'll be the most watched episode ever!"

Jon had to admit that her persistence was, at least to some degree, admirable. If this were any other circumstances he might've considered her offer but at the moment all he wanted was to have the ground firmly beneath his feet.

"Ok...I'm going to make this very clear for ya Dashie," he said sounding annoyed and bitter. "Right now I don't care...I don't care about the show, or who goes on it, or...whatever. Right now all I want...Is. To. Be. On. The. Ground...and I'm sorry but as far as my show is concerned I'm probably just going to go find Fluttershy anyway...I'm not leaving here empty handed. So thanks...but no thanks."

The two exchanged no words after that with Rainbow Dash focusing on flying downward which pleased Jon since he could tell that they were getting closer and closer to solid ground. Because of his angle he couldn't tell but Rainbow Dash looked very mournful, almost heartbroken by the news that she wouldn't get to be on his show. However her mood quickly changed and she soon found herself scheming something.

At this point Jon was probably a good 15 feet away from land and he couldn't be more happy, though they were still pretty high up. But just he was starting to feel slightly better he could feel himself slipping slightly from Rainbow Dash's grip. At first he thought it was all in his head, till he realized that he was slowly sliding forward.

"W-w-w-what's going on!?" He demanded. "Why are you letting go!?"

"I'm not letting go! It's just that...you're soooo daaarn heavy." She shot back trying her best to sound like she was straining. "I...I don't think I can hold you up for very much longer." Again she loosened her grip and Jon slid forward even more.

"Jesus Christ, stop that!" He barked. "I thought you said you were strong!?"

"I am but it seems I'm just not strong enough this time." She said as Jon began to flail his arms and legs; because of his position he couldn't grab a hold of her. "Too bad your precious Fluttershy isn't here...I bet she could hold you up."

"Your're crazy!" Jon yelled as he foolishly began to fidget in place which only caused her to lose more grip. "Come on this isn't funny!"

Rainbow Dash was trying to hide a smirk from appearing on her face all the while making it seem like Jon was too heavy. In actuality she had no intention of dropping him; she just wanted to see if her plan would work. She was in full control the entire time.

"I'm sorry Johnny but...I don't think...I can hold onto you...much longer," she said very convincingly. "If only I had some kind of...incentive for holding onto then maaaaybe I could find the strength to not drop ya." To emphasis her claim she lowered Jon a little bit more. He was now hanging off her hooves by an inch.

Instinctively Jon's next thought was to scold the young pony and call her out on her bluff till she agreed to do what he said but he never got the chance. In his struggle to hold on he glanced downward at how high up he was and decided it wasn't worth risking.

"OK, OK, I GIVE UP YOU CAN BE ON THE SHOW!" Jon yelled and he tried to lean back to her.

"Really!" She said, pulling Jon closer to hear him better.

"YES FINE, YOU CAN BE MY NEXT GUEST!" He said nervously. "YOU CAN HAVE THE SLOT, YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT JUST PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T DROP ME!"

"AAAAAAAAALRIGHT!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed with immense excitement as she did a somersault in the air and pumped both her hooves in victory. In her celebration however she had unconsciously made the mistake of letting go of Jon anyway, her better judgment temporarily blinded by her own hubris.

"RAINBOW DAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaash!" Jon said as he plummeted to the ground.

"Oops." She said, the consequences of her actions now starting to sink in. "Ah...h-h-hold on Johnny! I'm coming!"

With a quick stretch of her wings she was once again dive bombing to the rescue of Jon. But this time she wasn't fast enough since he already had a head start.

"GRAB ME, GRAB ME, GRAB ME, GRAB ME, GRAB MEEEEEEE," he shouted with fear in his eyes. "GRAAAAB MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Jon flailed his arms and legs so wildly that he pulled a couple of muscles in the process. Rainbow Dash was starting to close the gap between herself and Jon but she was too late. Jon closed his eyes so as to not see his own death.

His eyes would not stay shut forever though; they sprung back open the second he colliding stomach first in a tree. In truth Jon was very lucky that he landed where he did for if he was a few feet off he would have hit solid ground and most likely have died. His weight coupled with how fast he was falling meant he easily broke thought the first couple of branches of the tree, each one slowing him down considerably.

Finally he stopped on the last branch, landing again stomach first which knocked the wind out of him. After trying to draw breath he quickly checked to see if anything was broken or if he was bleeding, but aside from a few bruises and scrapes he was fine. Jon slowly tried to slide down from the branch but at the last second his weight gave way and the branch broke like the rest. Sending him straight down and face first into a large patch of mud which softening his fall.

Slowly he flipped himself over so he could breath, he didn't get up right away but instead just laid down on his back staring upwards wondering to himself how a relatively dull day ended up like this. The sound of wings flapping caught his attention and soon Rainbow Dash found him. He was safe, albeit very filthy.

She tried her best to not laugh at Jon's situation though it was entirely obvious that she found it comical.

"Here uh...let me help." She said. Hovering over Jon she grabbed him by the hand and slowly pulled him up. He was completely covered in mud to the point where, had she not seen him land there, Rainbow Dash wouldn't recognize him. He tried to take a step forward but just ended up falling back down. This proved too much for the young Pegasus to handle, the echoes of her laughter could be heard all over the rural area.

She was laughing so hard she almost fell in the mud herself but soon she stopped once she saw Jon now sitting up and looking very unamused. He stared at her with eyes that looked like they were in pain which made her feel very guilty for what she did.

"I'm...I'm sorry I dropped you," She said, scared that this might mean she couldn't be on his show. "I uh...I guess this makes us even huh?

"Ooooh were not even." Jon said in a monotone voice. "Not by a long shot."

"We-we're not?" She asked.

"Nope." He answered. Before she could inquire as to what he meant Jon sprung forward and grabbed Rainbow Dash by her tail. Before she could ask what he was doing he very quickly pulled her down into the mud with him. When she tried to get back up Jon placed his hand on top of her head and, using all his strength, shoved her face first into the mud. She tried to use her wings to escape but Jon's leverage preventing her from doing so.

After an appropriate amount of time had passed Jon took his hand off her head and she emerged from the mud gasping for breath. She too was now covered in it.

"Ok...were even!" Jon said with a content laugh as he stood up. "Now you can be on my show."

"Wait seriously! I can still go one!?" She said, receiving a nod as an answer. "Ah Yeah! GO RAINBOW, GO RAINBOW, GO RAINBOW!"

She wasn't the only one who was happy. Dunking her face under the mud proved to be very therapeutic for Jon as most of his anger had now washed away along with any sense of ill will towards her. However there was still one problem left to overcome...Jon still needed a way back and his phone was still missing in action. Without a lifeline Jon had one option left but he needed Rainbow Dash's help first.

Very delicately he walked across the the muddy area and onto a dirt road that led into two different directions.

"Hey Dashie?" He called out. "If you really want to be on my good side I need a favor" She stopped dancing in the mud long enough to respond.

"Sure!" She said. "What's up?"

"I need to get to Twilight Sparkle and I need to do it without anyone seeing me." He said as he looked around the deserted area. "Think you can handle that?"

"No problem!" She said confidently as she shook the mud off her person. "Just leave it to me."

She flew towards a trail and motioned for Jon to follow. He took a few steps forward each one providing an unattractive squishing sound. He looked at the amount of mud that engulfed him and let out a depressed sigh. Another good suit of his, ruined.

Noticing this Rainbow Dash offered to help.

"Ah don't worry Johnny I got ya covered!" She said. Jon was in the middle of taking off his jacket when she quickly flew towards him, flying around him with such speed that the mud began to fly off him and land in random locations. Her cleansing whirlwind however proved to be too effective and the resulting force was actually strong enough to momentarily make Jon hover off his feet. When she was done Jon feel to the ground on this back with a loud thud.

"Oops." She said biting her lip nervously. "Sorry...again."

"Just take me to Twilight." Jon responded.

Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Twilight can keep a secret

The world of ponies known as Equestria was a much different place than the world of man, one such difference was their solar cycles which were synched differently. Jon reflected on this as he and Rainbow dash walked (Or rather he walked, she flew) down the empty streets of Ponyville.

Back in New York it was in the late afternoon with the sun almost out of sight, but here in Ponyville the day had barely started. This wasn't the first time Jon experienced this phenomenon. He recalled on how in the past he would arrive in Equestria and it would be morning when back at home it was still night time.

He wondered if their day had fewer hours or vice versa, or maybe if it had something to do their sun being controlled by their own leader. If he had more free time in his schedule Jon would've asked his good friend Neil Degrasse Tyson to figure it out but as of late time was something he had very little of.

At first Jon found it annoying, mostly in part because it affected his own biological clock, but today he was gracious since it meant no one but Rainbow Dash (And soon Twilight) would know that he was here unannounced.

Jon was still not entirely familiar with the layout of Ponyville which meant that Rainbow Dash was a few feet in front of him guiding him along the path to Twilight's house. Eventually some landmarks started to jump out at him, their familiarity a welcomed change. One in particular being Sugercube Corner which they passed and they rounded a corner.

Soon their route led them to a familiar street leading to a humble tree. A tree which had a house partially built inside it where a certain lavender pony and her scaly assistant resigned. The two approached the structure and began to knock on the door loudly enough so the residents could hear them but not so loudly that it would wake up anyone else in town.

After no one answered they tried again, this time they could hear a noise coming from upstairs. They waited to see if someone would answer the door with Rainbow Dash flying in place and Jon looking behind him to see if they were truly alone. He noticed that the sun was just barely rising over the horizon and the birds were beginning to chirp. For most Equestrian citizens it was almost time to wake up but for Jon it was well past his bed time.

The sound of doors opening from overhead caught their attention. Jon took a step back and looked up just in time to see a sleepy looking Twilight Sparkle rubbing her eyes as she peered over her balcony.

"Huh?...w-who's there?" She said with a yawn.

"Hey bed head." Jon called out. "Howsabout you let us inside huh?"

"Wha-- huh! Jon? Jon Stewart is that you?" Twilight said. "And Rainbow dash? Wha-what are you two doing here?"

"We're here to see if you've heard the good news about our lord and savior." He said jokingly, getting nothing in return. "Actually I'll explain later...you don't mind if we come in do you?"

"Oh uh...not at all," she said as she straightened her mane.. "Just give me a second I'll have Spike prepare us some drinks or something."

Twilight disappeared back into her house, calling out for Spike to wake up. Jon leaned against the tree sensing that it might be awhile before she came down. Rainbow Dash seemed to have felt the same way, her impatience got the better of her resulting in her flying overhead and through Twilight's balcony door leaving Jon alone for the time being.

He cupped his hand in front of his face and breathed into them to keep himself warm. Soon the front door opened and Jon was greeted by his old friend Twilight.

"It really is you!" She said with a smile. "Welcome back to Equestria! Won't you come in?" The two entered the house whereupon she offered him a seat that he respectfully declined since it was about three sizes too small for him. Rainbow Dash now joined them but Twilight didn't offer her the seat since she knew first hand that she preferred to fly.

"Thanks Twilight," Jon said. "Sorry if I woke you up but I need your help."

"Oh that's alright Mr. Stewart, anything for a friend. I have a full day ahead of as it is," she responded as she went around putting abandoned books back on their shelves." And thanks to you I can get started on my list of things to do an hour early...although if I do that there's a good chance I'll have an extra hour of nothing to do. I suppose I could work in some last minute busy work to make up for that time but who knows how long that will take...maybe if I use this as an opportunity to explore possible scenarios where a correlation can be made between--"

"Uh Twilight I don't mean to be rude but I'm kind of in a hurry." Jon interrupted with a tired smile while Rainbow Dash shook her head.

"OH, of course! I'm so sorry." She said with embarrassment. "Now then, you needed my help."

"Yeah weeell it's like this...actually let me start from the beginning." Jon said. "You see it all started when I came back to Equestria to handle some business with the Daily Show...I won’t bore you with the details but I ended up in Cloudsdale."

"Oh Mr. Stewart don't be silly," She said dismissively as she continued to organize her library. "Only a Pegasus can go to Cloudsdale...if anypony else even tried they'd just...fall right through" She looked back over at Jon and saw that he had a worrisome look about him like he was remembering something tragic.

"Yeeeeeah let's just say I had to learn that the hard way." He replied with a shudder.

"Oh...OH!" Twilight said almost dropping a book on agriculture. She noticed that Jon looked as if he had been in the middle of a wind tunnel and that he had a few scrapes on his face. "Oh my goodness are you alright!?"

"Yeah I'm fine now, thanks to this one over here" Jon answered, pointing to Rainbow Dash. "She caught me right before I turned into a human pancake."

"Oh well that's-- wait, what were you doing in Cloudsdale anyway?" Twilight asked.

"Long story. All you need to know is I have a show soon and I was looking for the next guest to appear on Equestrian Interviews," Jon answered. "But my plans kind of fell through, no pun intended, and luckily for me ol' Dashie here was patrolling the area so she saved my ass."

"Oh I see...thank Celestia she happened to be around!" Twilight said with a sigh of relief. She directed her attention to Rainbow Dash who was hovering nearby. "Good work Rainbow! Sometimes I wonder what we'd do without you."

Rainbow Dash didn't say anything back; she merely flew in place with her cheeks puffed out like a squirrel with too many acorns in its mouth. Twilight waited for to comment on her heroic accomplishment but she remained silent.

"Um...are you ok Rainbow Dash?" She asked. The multicolored Pegasus again refused to say anything, instead deciding to cross her arms and look away.

"Yeah she's been like that ever since we came into town," Jon interjected as he sat on the floor. "She's holding her breath cause she doesn't want to say anything till tomorrow when she's on the show. She's afraid she'll say something totally awesome then won't be able to say it again on live TV cause it'll sound rehearsed...her words not mine."

Normally Twilight would have lectured her on the importance of inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide but she was momentarily overwhelmed with Joy.

"Oh I had no idea she was the pony you were looking for!" Twilight said. Jon almost mentioned that he was originally looking for Fluttershy, but for the sake of the moment he decided not to and let her have her moment in the spotlight.

"Oh Rainbow I'm so happy for you. I know it's what you've wanted for awhile now...if you'd like I can coach you on what to expect...I mean I have been to the human world before and I've since then been boning up on my knowledge of human culture." Twilight said, unaware that Rainbow Dash was slowly starting to change color. "Like did you know that humans actually evolved from subset of animals known as primates millions of years ago? I'm sure if you talked about that during your segment they'll think you're very--"

Before she could finish her lecture Rainbow Dash fell to the ground. The lack of oxygen made it harder and harder for her to keep herself in the air.

"OH NO! Breath Rainbow Dash, breath!" Twilight pleaded as she shook her back and forth. Eventually she drew breath before getting the chance to pass out, though she was still a bit woozy from it all. Jon just watched as Twilight tried to get her to breath more by pressing on her stomach, he wondered if every day was like this in Equestria.

"Don't scare me like that, Rainbow!" Twilight scolded.

"Yeah yeah whatever," Rainbow Dash said as she once again flew up in the air. "Oh stop looking at me like that...I'm fine!"

"I don't know bout that," Jon interjected. "You still look kinda blue to me." Twilight giggled to herself while Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves and turned her back on the two.

"Ha ha veeery funny," She said, looking over her shoulder to stick out her tongue. "I'll remember that the next time I see you falling down helplessly."

"Bring it on, tiny!" Jon shot back comically. "You may be half my age but I'm also twice your size! I think I can take you!" Sensing that he was only joking she flew up beside him and began to throw a couple of punches his way, purposely missing each blow.

"Guys, guys, stop this!" Twilight pleaded, not getting that they were only playing around. "This is no time to be fighting. Rainbow you finally got your chance to go on TV like you wanted! This is cause for celebration!...Now where is Spike with those drinks?"

Directing her attention upwards she could now hear the familiar sound of Spike snoring from the upstairs room.

"SPIIIIKE! Get up, we have guests!" Twilight yelled, before shaking her head. "Ugh that dragon! I swear if he had his way all he would do is sleep and eat ice cream."

Jon would have spoken on his behalf but admittedly she had a point. The last time he was in Equestria he found him sleeping on the job.

"I'll wake his ass up!" Rainbow Dash said as she made gestures like she was pulling up invisible sleeves. Within an instant she had already flown up to Twilight and Spike's room where she gently placed both her hooves under his small bed.

"WAKE UP SCALE-BUTT!" She yelled as she flipped his bed over causing him to tumble halfway down the stairs.

"Rain Bow Dashington the third!" Twilight scolded as she rushed to Spike's aid. "I really wish you wouldn't so rough with Spike! He's just a kid!"

"Ah ease up will ya, he's fiiiiine!" She shot back. "Aint that right, shrimp?" Flying in closer she rubbed her hoof against his head making him even more dizzy than he already was.

Finally after grabbing his head to stop the spinning Spike could now see clearly what was going on.

"OW! What the heck Rainbow Dash?" He said as he rubbed his head. "Why did you...wait is that...is that you, Jon?"

Sitting on the floor Jon didn't say anything back but instead waved at Spike while sporting a very goofy looking grin which only looked more comical when combined with his tired looking eyes.

"Jon, it is you! You're back!" He yelled as she raced across the room to greet his quest who in turn welcomed him with open arms.

With Spike being about a third Jon's height all attempts on his part to give him a hug were usually met with difficulty, the highest he could ever reach was probably just above his knee. In addition their weight difference meant any attempt to tackle him would be like a puppy going up against a brick wall. This time around however, since Jon was already sitting on the floor and was exhausted from lack of sleep, when Spike launched himself at him it resulted in the two crashing to the ground.

"It's...good to see you again too," Jon said, finding it hard to speak with Spike's tiny arms wrapped around his neck in a hugging embrace. His tail was wagging with glee and the scales on the side of his head were standing straight upwards. Even in his weakened state Jon still found the strength to get back up, pull Spike off and give him a playful headlock and noogie.

Feeling slightly left out Rainbow Dash flew in and grabbed Jon's arms from behind just long enough for Spike to jump on his face. All this rough housing was too much Twilight so she went to the kitchen to get the drinks herself. She emerged a few second later to find the three playing "keep-away" with Jon's left shoe.

"Ahem!" Twilight said, using her magic to hold up a tray of beverages. "I could use some help here, please." All three got up to help with Spike being the first to grab a cup.

"Uh uh uh, not you Mr. Stewart." Twilight added. "You are a guest here, we should be serving you." Using her magic again she levitated a glass of water to Jon.

"Thank you very much," an out of breath Jon said. "And if you know what's good for ya you'll call me 'Jon.'"

She agreed and lifted her drink into the air.

"A toast to Rainbow Dash," She said. "Here's hoping she has a wonderful time in New York." All three downed their drink with Spike finishing last.

"Is that why you're here Jon?" He asked. "To get Rainbow Dash on your show?"

"Oh that's right! I completely forgot!" Twilight said with a gasp. "Jon you came here because you needed my help!...I'm sorry, I guess I got caught up in all the excitement."

"It's alright." Jon said. "But now that you mention I would like to get down to business for a second."

"Absolutely." She retorted. "So...what can I do for you today?"

Jon knew he had to go about this very carefully; what he was about to ask of her was highly unorthodox and could very easily backfire on him.

"Yeah you see I uh...I kinda need you to send me back to New York?" Jon answered sheepishly. "Like, right now if you can...you see I'm sort of stuck here at the moment."

The gang was momentarily at a loss for words, it wasn't everyday that famous celebrities from other worlds came to Twilight's house requesting such an enormous task.

"Wait what...y-you're stuck here?" Twilight asked. "I don't understand."

"Well remember when I said I had that unfortunate run in with gravity earlier today?" Jon asked getting a nod of acknowledgment in return. "Well you see during my free skydiving lesson I accidentally lost my damn phone...and well as you can imagine I can't exactly call Triple A to come bail my ass out soooo that's where you come in."

"Oh I see. Well I am sorry to hear this but I think Princess Celestia would be a more appropriate pony to be asking for this kind of thing." Twilight said sounding concerned while at the same time humble. "I may be skilled with magic but I'm sure she'll do a much better job than me...as a matter of fact we could ask her right now...Spike could you please take a letter."

Almost as if he pulled it out of thin air Spike produced a piece of paper and a quill, signaling that he was ready to go.

"Now then," Twilight said, clearing her trough. "Dear Princess Celestia...I am writing to you because--"

"Actually about that," Jon interrupted by putting his hand over Spike's writing. "Princess Celestia can't know I'm here."

The two ponies and Spike starred at Jon, each of them looking rather confused.

"She can't know you're--Wait...the princess doesn't know you're here?" Twilight asked.

"No...no she doesn't." Jon answered with a shrug. The three mythical creatures shot each other slightly worried looks before going back to staring at their human friend.

"So wait a minute...why can't she know you're here in the first place?" Twilight asked. Of course Jon knew why he didn't want Celestia to know of his being here. If she did she would question him about how he arrived in the first place and that would mean she might find out that Trixie in his world without permission...something which Celestia deemed to be a crime.

Even though Jon was furious with Trixie for almost killing him he had a promise to keep that he wouldn't rat her out...plus if Celestia took her away now Jon wouldn't get the chance to kick her ass all up and down Manhattan.

"I uh...I can't tell you why." Jon answered. This made Twilight look uneasy.

"And speaking of which," Rainbow Dash interjected. "If the princess doesn't know you're here then how the bucking hell did you get all the way up in Cloudsdale anyway?"

"I uh...I can't tell you how I did that." Jon answered.

"Uh Jon...why are you being so secretive all of sudden?" Spike asked, sounding worried about his friend's current state.

"...I can't talk to you about that either." Jon answered now feeling guilty for leaving his friends in the dark.

"Jon...are you..." Twilight said pausing a moment to look around. "Are you in some kind of trouble or something?"

"No, no, no it's nothing like that," Jon insisted as he waved his hands back and forth. "Look It's just...look I know I'm asking a lot here but I wouldn't be putting you in this kind of situation if I really didn't need your help...I know it's a tall order but at the moment all I need for you to do is send me back home and tell no one I was here."

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room with only the sounds of Rainbow Dash's wings willing the void.

"Just...please do this for me Twilight and I'll owe you big time! I'll uh...I'll take you to the Library of Congress the next time you're in town!" Jon pleaded. "All you have to do is send me back home where I'll call Celestia and tell her I want Rainbow Dash and that'll be the end of it...I promise."

"...And I can't tell anypony that you were here?" Twilight asked. "Even Princess Celestia?"

"Especially Princess Celestia." He added.

"I don't feel comfortable about this, Jon." She said in a low voice. "I don't like keeping secretes from the princess...I mean what if she--"

"Oh don't be such a kill joy, Twi!" Rainbow Dash interrupted. "It's not like this is just anypony asking its Jon Stewart we're talking about here."

"Yeah Twilight let's help him!" Spike added. "He's our friend! And friends always help friends out of a jam."

"Ooooh I don't know..." She said as she rubbed her chin.

"Oh come one Twilight this may be my only chance to get on TV!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "So whaddya say Twi? Will you do it...for me...pleeeeeaaaaase?"

Twilight found it very difficult to say no to just one friend, so three was almost impossible.

"...And exactly how big is this 'Library of Congress?'" She asked as she continued to rub her chin.

"Enormous...it's like one of the biggest libraries in the entire human world!" Jon answered. "Went there once when I was in college...almost got lost." Twilight's eyes grew with interest.

It was very tempting and while she thought about it some more all three beggars huddled together to give Twilight an innocent smile complete with puppy eyes...the dangers of peer pressure proved to be too strong for twilight.

"Oh alright...I'll do it." Twilight said causing everyone in the room to jump and cheer. "But remember Jon you owe me...big!"

"Absolutely! Thank you so much." He said as she grabbed both her hooves and gave them a shake.

"Alright, so we're all in agreement that this secret is just between us!" Rainbow Dash said as she hocked a pile of spit onto her hoof. "Let's shake on it!"

"Hear, hear!" Jon said as he spit in his palm which made Spike do the same (Though for him it was difficult so he had to try twice). They all looked at twilight who stared back with a look of disgust on her face followed by a sigh.

"I'm just going to get started on that spell if that's alright with you." She said as she walked away to grab a book.

The three didn't push her any further and with that Spike walked away to wash his hands while Rainbow Dash wiped her hoof on Jon's already tattered jacket.

Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Honey I'm home

While Twilight was off gathering the equipment needed to send Jon back home the rest of the gang were busying keeping themselves entertained.

Rainbow Dash was up on the one highest bookshelves going through different novels, desperately looking for the latest issue of "Daring Do" that Twilight insisted she didn't have yet. While Jon and Spike were busy catching up on lost times.

"Wow really!?" Spike exclaimed. "My interview is still the most watched one?"

"Well...most watched online, yes." Jon answered as he got up to stretch and yawn. "It's not all that surprising...I mean you were my very first Equestrian Interviewee." Spike rocked back and forth with a smile on his face that could block out the sun.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, little dude." Rainbow Dash called out from on high. "Because once I go on the air tomorrow everypony out there will be talking about yours truly for days."

"Which reminds me," Jon said while putting his hands in his pocket. "The second I get back home I need to tell the boys to set up the stage for your arrival...I'll probably have my assistant...draw...up some--"

The sound of something squishing in Jon's pocket made him slowly stop talking, whatever it was the texture was unappealing and cold to the touch.

"Oh god what?" He said as he emptied his pockets releasing a flow of mud that was left over from his free falling mishap. "That's just what I needed...uh sorry bout the mess, guys."

Spike ran off to go get the items necessary to clean up the spill, insisting that he would clean it up himself. Jon would have offered to help in cleaning the mess he made but he was too tired to lift a finger. As Spike finished mopping of the mud he noticed something had been left behind, it was Jon's wallet which he had accidentally dropped on the ground along with the mud.

Out curiosity he picked it up and began to look at it's contents without Jon's permission. In particular he was looking at the pictures that were neatly encased in protective plastic.

"Hey Jon?" Spike asked, pointing to a group shot. "Who are these people?"

Before Jon could answer Twilight walked over and pulled Spike aside by his ear with her magic.

"Spike, what have I told you about going through things that don't belong to you!?" She scolded.

"It's quite alright, I don't mind." Jon said with a hardy, albeit tired laugh.

He grabbed Spike, who was rubbing his own ear, and placed him on his lap.

"That was a picture of my family," he answered. Opening his wallet he began to show Spike more pictures he had stashed away. "See? Aaaand these are my kids....that's my youngest one Maggie, she's six...and this is Nathan who's eight years old now."

Jon proceeded to show Spike more pictures of his son and daughter, both individually and as a group. When he was much younger Jon always swore he would never be "that guy." The kind of person who went around showing people photos of his own children, but time had a way of changing people.

"Heh heh, cute kids." Spike said as he flipped through picture after picture, eventually stopping at one. "...so who's this lady?" Jon looked over at the picture of the woman Spike was pointing to.

"Oh her," Jon said with a genuine smile. "That would be my beautiful wife Tracey...we've been married for over ten years now and I swear to you I love her more each and every day."

"Awww, how sweet!" Twilight said while Rainbow Dash continued to look at a book she found. She was pretending to not listen to what they were saying, but that didn't stop her from making gagging noises and Jon's sentimental declaration.

"Yeah I know it's corny but that woman is my entire life." Jon went on. "I'm a very lucky man." Spike continued to look at the picture of Tracey before going back to talking with Jon, this time at a much lower voice.

"So...what's it like?" Spike asked, in a slightly gloomy tone. "What's it like knowing that you've...you know, found your soul mate?" Jon wondered if it was wise to talk about such things with a child but in his sleep deprived state he saw no harm in it.

"Well spike it's the greatest feeling in the world," he said. "Waking up every morning with the person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with is a feeling like no other."

Spiked rubbed his arm and looked away like he was thinking of someone.

"But hey chin up little man," he said giving Spike a playful chuck on the arm. "It'll happen to you someday too."

"Oh uh, I...I don't care about that kinda stuff!" Spike announced before leaning in to whisper. "You really think so?" .

"Sure I do but if you ask me you shouldn't be worrying that kind of stuff for a least another couple years....I mean you're young, try enjoying the single life as long as possible." Jon said jokingly. "I was almost forty when I got married and brother let me tell you sometimes I miss being a bachelor."

Now having most of her ingredients ready Twilight walked up to Jon but didn't interrupt him, she wanted to make sure he was done speaking to Spike.

"Both me and Tracey are career driven adults so we have little time for anything else," he continued. "My little girl is about to start kindergarten and just the other day my son told me he wants to grow up to be a professional basketball player, and I have to somehow break it to him that he's Jewish."

"Wow...sounds like being a parent is a lot of hard work." Twilight said, wanting to add something to the conversation.

"You bet your cutie mark it is," Jon replied. "But I mean you know all about that don't ya, Twilight?"

"What do you mean, Jon?" She asked with a confused look about her.

"Well I mean...aren't you Spike's mother?" He added.

His bold assumptions caused Spike to drop Jon's wallet on the ground and Twilight to crinkle her nose in surprise.

"W-why Jon please don't say such things," Twilight said nervously as her faced turned a shade of red. "I'm much too young to be anypony's mother."

"Oh well then excuse me for assuming but if I recall correctly didn't you hatch him from an egg?" Jon asked curiously and with a raised eyebrow.

"Well I mean yes I suppose I did," Twilight said as fiddled with her glass of water. "But you see I did so by using magic, I um...I'm not his biological mother."

Jon made sure to cover Spike's ears (Or at least what he thought was Spike's ear) before continuing.

"Well obviously I mean I doubt your brave enough to do it with a dragon...nor do I believe a dragon would be desperate enough to do it with a pony," Jon said causing Rainbow Dash to burst out laughing in the distance. "But tell me who: raises him, feeds him, cleans him, and on occasion has to punish him?" Twilight didn't even have to think about it.

"I do." She answered, her voice laced with a hint of pride.

"Well there you have it...look I'm not advocating for anyone to be parents at a young age, all I'm saying is you meet all the qualification for being a mother." He said as she gently rubbed the top of Spike's head. "And from what I can tell, based on your handiwork here, you make a pretty damn good one too."

Neither Twilight or Spike said anything, they merely looked at each other then at Jon to give him a smile that seemed to say "thank you." The mood was broken by Rainbow Dash dive bombing her way into the middle of the room.

"Alright, alright, enough of this mushy stuff!" She demanded, as she pointed at Twilight. "How much longer till we can get Johnny back home?" Twilight snapped out of it just long enough to remember what she wanted to tell Jon.

"Oh right I forgot," she said as she walked over to her various spread out goods. "I've compiled all the necessary ingredients for the spell...I just need to time to mix it all together and to focus my magic."

"And how long will that take?" Jon asked as he approached her.

"Oh I'd say somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty four hours," she answered. "In the mean time you can stay in the guest bedroom away from prying eyes. I believe we have a--"

"Twenty four hours!" Jon yelled surprising all in the room. "Why the hell is this spell going to take so long? I need to be back in New York now!"

"I'm...I'm sorry Jon," Twilight said. "But...the thing is teleporting somepony from one world to another is a lot of work...especially if it's to the human world...I'll need time to prepare."

"But...I, but you teleported me to New York before!" He pleaded. "Remember the last time I was here!? And back then you did so in a few short minutes!"

"Yes and I'm still recovering from that day. When I was scheduled to appear on your show I teleported you home once and myself twice, to and from New York...it took so much magic to do all that...magic that I'm still building back up." Twilight explained. "The truth is it took almost everything I had to get that far, so if I'm going to do this spell I need to make sure nothing goes wrong hence the extra amount of time. If done incorrectly I might only teleport a fraction of you, not to mention I'm still not used to the layout of your world...visualization plays a key role in teleporting."

Panic began to set in on Jon at the thought of missing his show's deadline, a fear that was also shared by Rainbow Dash.

"Oh come one Egg-head you gotta think of something!" She begged. "If Johnny doesn't get back in time I don't get my time slot!"

"Twilight...is there anything you can do to speed up the process?" Jon pleaded.

"Hmmm well...there is one thing I can do." Twilight wondered out loud. "Part of the reason why sending both you and me to your show last time was so stressful was because I had pinpointed our location to a single square inch of space...but if I broaden the parameters of your destination It'll put less stress on me and I could send you home right now." Jon now found himself slightly more hopeful.

"That's it? That's all you have to do?" Jon asked anxiously,

"Well yes but he only drawback is instead of appearing in your house like last time you'll probably end up in the general area." She explained.

"Hey as long as I'm in New York and not Zimbabwe I'll consider it a victory!" Jon said. "Let's make it happen." Twilight hesitantly agreed and began to charge her horn. Jon too prepared by saying his farewells to Rainbow Dash and Spike.

"Alright guys I'll see you later," Jon said shaking Rainbow Dash's hoof and giving Spike one last hug. In no time at all Twilight's horn was radiating large amounts of magic. She had stabilized it much faster than Trixie had.

Taking his place in front of Twilight he closed his eyes.

"Oh and remember!" Jon announced so everyone could hear him. "I was never here." Everyone nodded and with a deep breath Twilight released her magic in the form of a bright light that engulfed the room then disappeared taking Jon with it.

Using all that magic at once caused Twilight to stagger sideways. She would have fallen down in the process were it not for Spike who rushed to her side.

"Think he made it ok?" Spike asked.

"We'll soon find out." Twilight answered.

In an instant Jon could feel a cold air all around him followed by the sound of sirens and the unmistakable stench of urine soaked streets...he was finally home.

Jon opened his eyes expecting to see his neighborhood but to his surprise he didn't recognize where he was...at least not at first. He looked around and noticed that this was indeed New York it just wasn't exactly where he wanted to be. Jon scouted the area for any kind of distinguishable landmarks till he eventually and to his utter dismay found one...a sign that said 82nd street.

When he looked across from him he saw a familiar building, the Holy Trinity Roman Catholic Church...Twilight had teleported Jon not to his home in lower Tribeca but instead all the way up north in the Upper west side of Manhattan. Almost ten miles from his preferred destination...she wasn't joking when she said she would "broaden the parameters."

"Unicorns these days." Jon said to himself.

Without his phone he had no way of contacting a cab so for the most part he had to walk it back home; he checked his watch, it was almost two o'clock in the morning. Jon grimaced as he forced himself to walk forward. But just as he was about to head out a couple off to the side of him got his attention when they dropped their bags. It was a young German couple with large backpacks, tourists obviously, who had just witnessed Jon appear from thin air. They stood there mouths agape, their eyes a mixture of wonder and fear for what they just witnessed.

Jon was in no mood.

"Oh get over it, it’s just a simple teleportation spell." he said as he staggered on.

At about halfway home Jon managed to find a cab driver who was on duty. Even though driving people around was his job and it itself no big deal Jon praised the cabbie like he was a deity who had answered his prayers. Despite being spared the torture that was having to walk any further Jon was already tired to the point of collapsing.

Finally he made it home. He was sure no one would be up at this hour and just as well because he had some unfinished business to take care of before he got the luxury of going to bed. Two pieces of business in fact: one was contacting Princess Celestia and the other pounding a certain Unicorn into the ground like a lawn ornament.

Jon very lazily opened the front door and was immediately greeted by his wife who had waited for him on the couch all night. She was worried when he didn't come home at his usual time or called in to let her know he was ok.

"Oh honey there you are," she said, running up to give him a hug only to stop once she saw how tattered he looked. "What the hell happened to you...did you get--"

"Where is she?" Jon said interrupting his wife mid sentence as he walked pass the threshold.

"'She?'" Tracey said, "Who? You mean Trixie?"

"Yeah where is she I need to...have a little chat with her." Jon said his eyes lifeless and tired.

"She's upstairs in bed why?" She asked. Jon didn't answer instead he quickly though quietly made his way to the guest bedroom where he flung the door open and turned on the lights...no one was there.

"Wrong bed?" Tracey whispered from behind Jon, now motioning to the next door over. Jon was confused, the bedroom she was pointing to was the kid's room.

Like a ninja Jon very stealthily opened the kid’s bedroom door just enough so he could peak inside without having the hallway light shine in on them.

One bed was unoccupied while the other had three figures laying in it. Once Jon's eyes adjusted to the dark he could see that in one of the kid's bed were both Maggie and Nathan sleeping, with Trixie caught in the middle. Maggie was holding Trixie from behind like an oversized teddy bear while Nathan used her stomach as a pillow.

Jon looked back over at his wife who explained the situation.

According to her while Jon was out the kids went to bed early at the behest of Trixie. But half way through their bed time Maggie had a nightmare and was too scared to go to back to bed while Nathan out of loneliness didn't want to sleep till Jon returned home. Tracey was still worried by that fact that her husband was still missing; so to help ease everyone's worry Trixie had agreed to comfort the kids by laying with them in the same bed till they went to sleep. This way the kids had company while Tracey waited on Jon.

When Jon asked why Trixie didn't just leave after the kids went to sleep Tracey went on to explain that her plan worked too well. She figured that if she left in the middle of the night it would cause such a disturbance that they would wake back up. Not wanting to risk that she decided to stay in bed with them, both to make sure if they did wake up she would be there to comfort them and of course for the sake of their health since they needed their sleep.

The once rage filled eyes of Jon gave way and his heart began to melt. As mad as he was towards her he just didn't have it in him to stay sore at someone who looked after and loved his own kids as much as he did. Jon always had the biggest soft spot for his family and subsequently those who helped protect them. She may not be perfect but with Trixie around Jon knew his kids were safe and that was worth any number of free falling accidents.

Quietly closing the door Jon turned and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and told her that he would join her in bed very soon and would explain everything in the morning. He shuffled over to his study and, lacking his cell phone, grabbed his study phone where he began to dial Celestia's number. It ringed longer than usual but eventually someone picked up.

"Greetings Jon. Calling a little late aren't we?" Celestia said cheerfully. "So to what do I owe the--"

"Rainbow Dash." Jon Interrupted.

"Oh..I beg your pardon, Jon?" She asked.

"I want Rainbow Dash on my show." Jon repeated.

"I see...a little straight to the point today aren't we?" She said still rather surprised by his tone of voice. "Would you...like to go ask her in person or shall I do it?"

"Oh god no!" Jon said, his voice thick with apathy. "I don't...I just...please...Rainbow Dash."

"Very well then I'll ask her myself," Celestia said sounding concerned. "But tell me Jon...are you alright?"

"Yes I'm...just fine, I...just...Rainbow Dash." Jon repeated

"Well alright then," She continued sounding curious. "Is there anything else you want me to--"

Jon hung up the second he was convinced that business was done. He knew cutting a princess couldn't be good in terms of karma but at this point he didn't care, all he wanted was to go to sleep.

"I'll send her flowers and an apology card." Jon thought as he dragged himself across the hallway. He quickly glanced back over at the children's room and rubbed his tired face.

He reflected on how this was probably one of the most stressful days of his life.

Eventually after almost collapsing in the hallway he was now in his bedroom where is wife was already undressed and under the covers. Without a second thought he threw himself on his mattress, ruined suit and all, waiting for the sleep to take a hold of him.

"Next time...I'll just accept the rejection letter." He said as he closed his eyes.

Episode 11 [Rainbow Dash]: Please welcome to the show Rainbow Dash

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Rainbow Dash
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

It was now the day of Jon's interview with Rainbow Dash and even with all that happened leading up to it his luck was starting to turn around. His day kicked off to a flying start when he arrived at work and found his staff and crew hard at work getting the stage ready for the final segment.

Turns out that while he slept in that morning his wife had called in on his behalf and relayed to his assistant that they were to have an Equestrian citizen. She knew this because right before he went to bed Jon had written; "Tell Selina. Set up stage" on the notebook he always kept by his nightstand.

The set was now half done so all that was needed was the theme for them to go on which Jon responded with a simple one word answer.

"Rainbows."

Never before has the set of The Daily Show looked so, for lack of a better term, "girly." The background showed a double rainbow that began at the backstage entrance and ended at Jon's desk which was now a cloud. There were also some rainbow cutouts which were placed in between himself and audience like a fence around a house. The whole presentation was so tacky looking the set resembled a kid's show rather than a Comedy Central program. But as bad as it looks it was at least something to go on.

Another bit of good luck was that since this would be a live tapping the actual airing wouldn't occur till late that night, which meant they had a few hours to advertise their newest guest. This also meant that Jon's staff had time to come up with a theme song for Rainbow Dash to walk on stage with. It took a lot of last minute scrambling but they managed to pull it off, thought some of his employees were confused since the song didn't fit the tone stage design.

With barley an hour to spare the set was ready to go and after two segments came and went it was now time for the main attraction.

As the Daily Show returned from yet another commercial break its logo appeared on sight then left to the sound of the audience cheering excitedly. The camera made a slightly different route to show the days theme. This time around it made a long sweep from left to right so those at home could see the rainbows the littered the set. But soon, like always, it zoomed it on a very well rested Jon Stewart who was was pretending to sign papers by way of scribbling on page after page of his notes.

Soon his attention was on the camera and after a quick crack of his neck he began to speak.

"Welcome back to the Daily Show, everyone! My guest tonight!" He yelled over the audience. "She is the self proclaimed fastest flyer in Equestria, a member of the elements of Harmony and to this day the only pony ever to have pulled out a 'Sonic Rainboom.'"

As emphasis Jon pointed forward at the camera, signaling the staff to play the video clip that was provided last minute by Celestia.

"I'm not even sure how they got those camera angles." He said, getting a quick laugh out of the audience. "Please welcome to the show, Rainbow Dash!"

Before the camera even got the chance pan over to the side Rainbow Dash had already flown to the center of the stage to wave at the audience members so quickly they missed the shot of her coming out. The only thing louder than their cheers and applause was the theme song that the backstage hands had put together to accompany her.

The crowd showed little sign of calming down anytime soon so Jon made a route to greet his guest. On his way there Rainbow Dash decided to fly above the audience where she posed for a picture of gave the occasional high-five. It only intensified their cheering since this would be their first time actually making physical contact with someone from Equestria.

Each audience member stood and cheered in the hopes that they would be the next person to get to interact with her. Noticing that all of them now had their hands in the air Rainbow Dash began to fly back and forth between rows with an outstretched hoof to give them what they wanted.

Jon tried to coax her out of the mob but it was no use. Finally she made one last service to the audience by throwing her hooves around two random attendees while a third one took a picture.

She then flew back on stage where she shook Jon's hand so vigorously that he swore his warm would have popped out of his socket had she gone on any longer. To say she was rough would be a huge understatement. The two eventually made their way to the desk where Jon sat in his chair and Rainbow Dash hovered above hers. He motioned for her to sit but she wouldn't budge from her spot.

The crowd's cheering began to settle down but only because off-camera stagehands who were signaling for them to do so, otherwise the show couldn't start. Jon tried one last time to get Rainbow Dash to sit down but when it was clear that she would not.

Jon gave up and began to speak.

"Do the...do people always cheer for you like that when you enter a room?" Jon asked getting only a chuckle from Rainbow Dash in return. The crowd joined with the occasional audience member doing a last second holler.

"Thank you very much for being here Ms. Dash." He continued. "It's great to have you on the show."

"Yeah well it's about time you gave me a call," She responded. "I've been waiting forever to hear from ya!"

"Now uh...you've, you've probably sent me about-- at least 20 letters at this point," Jon said while looking up at her. "All of which were requests to appear on my show...why...do you want to be on this show so badly?"

"Pfft are you kidding?! The Daily Show is totally cool!" She said looking astonished that Jon would even ask. "It's like the coolest show on TV right now...but you know what would make the even better? If it had the coolest pony in all of Equestria?" As emphasis she struck a pose as to flex her muscles.

"Hm, can't argue with that logic" Jon responded. "Do you know who that pony is?" The crowd laughed at the two on stage with Rainbow Dash looking visibly frustrated at how easily she walked into Jon's trap. She, like almost everyone else, had no way of knowing that Jon's living with Trixie for the past couple of weeks had trained him in the art of dealing with ponies with massive egos.

She glared a Jon with an expression that seemed to say; "Not. Cool."

"But alright you're finally here!" Jon continued. "So I guess...the big question on everyone's mind is...h-has being here uh, right now lived up to your expectation."

Despite having been embarrassed at his hands the still sulking pony shifted gears and was about to express her absolute delight for being present for the show. She caught herself mid way just in time to switch her facial expression from joy to indifference.

"Eh...it's alright." She said, pretended to not care as she checked her hooves. "I mean it's not what I expected buuut hey, what can ya do?"

"Well if you don't like your time on the show we can end it early," Jon said, checking his watch.

"NO WAIT DON'T" Rainbow Dash yelled, not thinking he would call her bluff. She cleared her throat before continuing "I uh I mean...you don't gotta do that. I'm already here so might as well go along with it...b-besides if we stopped now it'd be a huge disappointment for my fans."

"You have fans?" Jon asked, now wishing that he'd phrased that better.

"Of course I do!" She shot back. "Matter of fact there are even some fan clubs who follow me around, thank you very much...and don't even try and tell me you haven't gotten letters from ponies asking for me to be on your show."

Before Jon could answer he had to think about her claim for a second; when he gave it a quick thought he realized that she was actually right.

"Actually now that you mention it I have gotten letters to that effect." He said. "On average I'd say about...10 a day."

"AH HA! See I told ya so!" She responded excitedly. "They're probably from ponies all over Equestria who've seen me in action."

"Well actually they've all been from one pony," Jon added, bursting her bubble. "She's been sending me them since day one...does the name 'Scootaloo' ring any bells."

Even though the crowd didn't know who this crazed fan was they still laughed at how comical it was.

"Ugh...yeah I know her," Rainbow Dash grunted as she folded her hooves. "She's always following me around trying to hang out with me. Lucky for me I can just fly away and she'll never catch me but still...she's persistent."

"But hey look on the bright side," Jon said with a shrug. "You...you have a stalker...that's a pretty uh, good sign that you're famous."

"Really?" She asked. "Do...do you have a stalker?"

"Well not exactly but I do know the feeling of having some annoying...person always bothering you and-- OK SERIOUSLY are you sure you don't want to sit down?" Jon asked interrupting himself; he was already feeling the pain in the back of his neck from looking up at her. "We got you a really nice chair, ya know!"

"Nah its ok," she answered. "I brought me own." Jon was just about to ask what she meant when in a split second she disappeared from the set and into the darkness that was backstage, leaving behind a rainbow trail. Jon got up to get a better view. When she returned pushing something in front of her.

It was a cloud.

"Here we are!" She said as she jumped on giving the impression that it had the tendencies of a sofa. "I took one from outside right before camera time...hope you don't mind if I borrow it for now."

The crowd began to cheer once more; none of them expected that they would witness a Pegasus using an actual cloud like it was furniture.

"You actually stole a cloud." Jon said

"I'll put it back later!" She insisted as she shifted her position so she'd lie on her back. "Gotta say though you're guys' clouds feel way different from the ones in Equestria...but it's all good."

Jon didn't say anything back which left the studio is a state of rare silence. To break this he leaned forward and stuck his hand through the cloud very hesitantly, waving it back and forth like he was trying to grab a hold of it. This act ended the silence.

"This doesn't seem very structurally sound." Jon commented.

"Maybe not for you, but us Pegasi are totally one with the clouds," she said in a proud tone. "See?...Check this out." Getting up now she flew slightly above the cloud and with her hind legs gently kicked it sending out a small thunderbolt. It flashed very brightly for its size causing Jon to withdraw his still outstretched hand. Half the crowd found it amusing while the other half was still struggling to understand what they had witnessed.

"You know what let's get back to the interview," Jon said hurriedly as he rubbed his hand. His face looked like it was stuck in a permanent expression of surprise. "So uh...what we're we talking about again?"

"He he! Uh I think...we were talking about how...I have tons of fans all over Equestria." Rainbow Dash said as she struggled to hold back her giggles.

"Of course we were." Jon retorted; he was still keeping a close eye on that cloud of hers.

"So are you sure nopony else has written to you about me?" She said leaning in with a pleading smile.

"Well...there have been some people who have expressed some interest in you," he said which instantly got her attention. "Though it hasn't been from a pony...but rather some humans here in New York."

"OH WOW REALLY!" She said now in high hopes. "Who are these humans!? Wha-wha-what did they said about me!?"

"Actually they weren't specific people per se bur rather representatives from major organizations," Jon continued. "You see...uh, whenever we have someone from Equestria on our...on our show we got a ton of people who just...who-- they want to hire that guest or get in touch with them to put together some kind of business arrangement. When we announced that you were coming on our show this morning we got...a slew of people wanting a piece of you."

"Oh awesome!" She said and she applauded herself. "What kind of business humans were they?"

"Well for starters one of the first groups that wanted to get in touch with you was uh...a privately owned company called 'Mars Incorporated.'" Jon answered.

"Ooooooooo they sound coooool!" Rainbow Dash cooed. "Are they like a super secret group of humans who like...have control over the planet Mars or something?"

"Uh no they don't," He answered with a straight face. "They make candy." Some of the audience members knew where this was going and preemptively laughed as a result.

"A candy company?" She wondered out loud.

"Yeah, believe it or not the spokesperson I talked to...wanted to see if you'd be interested in working for them full time." He continued. "The job would be being the new mascot for...one of their candy products called Skittles."

"What, why?" She said in confusion. "What would they want me to do that?"

"Uh...I'm guessing it's because you're name is Rainbow Dash." Jon said getting a look of further confusion on her part. "The advertisement slogan for Skittles is 'Taste the Rainbow.'"

Hearing the company's tagline caused Rainbow Dash to recoil back in surprise. The phrase in itself caused her to blush somewhat.

"W-what the hell!" She blurted out over the roar of the audience. "That's it!? That's why they wanted me...pffft so lame! Like I'd even want to work for a candy company...who do I look like, Pinkie Pie?"

"I don't know it sounds pretty neat," Jon commented. "I'm sure you'd get all kinds of free stuff?"

"Pass." Rainbow Dash said bluntly. "Who else tried to get in touch with me?"

"Let's see...well there was this local group that wanted to set up an appointment with you." He continued. "Same as before they wanted to see if you'd be interested in being a mascot for them." Rainbow Dash looked over at Jon suspiciously.

"Reeeeaaaally?" She said, her eyes squinting at Jon. "And what kind of company we're they?"

"Well actually they're weren't really a company...more like a uh...a local..activists group," he answered. "They were a local chapter of the 'LGBT' community."

For those in attendance who knew what the acronym stood for, the connection was made instantaneously. These were the ones who could see the punch line coming a mile away.

"What do they do?" She asked sounding slightly more hopeful. "Do they make candy too!?"

"No, nothing like that," Jon answered. "They're actually a group of young people who go from place to place advocating for...gay rights."

"Gay rights?" She asked, again looking confused. "They like...fight for the right to be gay?"

"That's one way of putting it, yes." Jon said feeling slightly odd that he was speaking on their behalf, somewhat. "You see...I don't know if it's the same over in Equestria, but over here there are some people who are...persecuted or outcasted because they are gay. Organizations like the 'LGBT' run on a philosophy of equality, and dedicate themselves to help others through counseling and such."

"Oh well I guess that's cool," Rainbow Dash responded with an odd look on her face. "But I don't get it...why would anypony be against being gay?"

"Well in our world some people see it as being...immoral or...unnatural, even." He said. Jon leaned back to get a better view of Rainbow Dash. He felt a bit proud of his guest for her virtuous way of thinking; it would seem that over in Equestria sexual preferences was not an issue.

"What? That's dumb." She added "You guys are weird...why would anypony think being happy was unnatural."

The crowd began to laugh as Jon laughed into the palm of his hand. He had previously seen Rainbow Dash's remarks as her unadulterated views on gender politics but it would seem that it was just ignorance on her part. Jon wouldn't now this till much later but Equestria had another word for being homosexual. The term "gay" was human slang but to them its root definition was still the same.

"Oh boy...Uuuh Rainbow Dash, we seem to have a bit of a...cultural barrier going on here." He said as he rubbed his hand over his face. "You see...while you're not wrong in thinking that 'gay' means 'happy'...you should know that in the human world it's also more commonly referred to as something else."

"Oh really? Well what does being 'gay' mean over here?" She asked. Her perfectly innocent question was met with a wall of laughter from the audience

He briefly reflected on how odd it felt to have to explain something that was so prevalent in human culture.

"Uh well it means...basically...actually come here for a second." He said, standing up to get closer to her. Leaning in Rainbow Dash turned her head to the side as Jon began to whisper something to her. Slowly her faced turned red. She realized now what going on and felt embarrassed, both because of the subject matter and the fact that she had looked silly on live television."

"WOW!" She exclaimed, now flying so high in the air she briefly went off camera. "THAT'S what that means!"

The crowd continued to laugh which only made her turn more red. Jon tried not to laugh but it was hard not to.

"UGH! For the love of Celestia," She said as she slapped both her hoofs across her face, trying to hide her increasingly blushing cheeks. "How did they even know I'm-- I mean WAIT A MINUTE! Why does this...'ELPT' want me to mascot for them anyway!? I aint into mares!"

"Again it goes back to your hair," Jon responded now pointing to her mane and tail. "The uh...the official colors of gay pride is the Rainbow."

There was a slight pause before Rainbow Dash calmly sat back on her cloud looking very disappointing by the kind of attention she was getting. Not because of what they represented but because the only thing they wanted her for was her Rainbow image.

"Yeah you can go ahead and tell them I'm not interested in no deals." She said, her face half burred in the cloud.

"Are you sure about that? I think you would make a great mascot." Jon jokingly said to try and cheer her up. "You know I, uh-- I got some connection down at PBS, if you want I can pull some strings to see if we can't get them to bring back the 'Reading Rainbow,'....I'm sure they'd let you host it."

It didn't help her feel any better.

"You know there's more to me than just my name and hair," she said in a slightly pouting tone while at the same time looking at the gaudy layout of the studio set. "...I'm special."

"No, no, no, I'm sure you are!" Jon said profusely. "Why don't you elaborate by telling a little bit about yourself? Like explain...who is-- what it is you actually do for a living. What is your occupation?"

She was still a little down from before but the opportunity to talk about herself some was too good a chance to pass up.

"Well...I do weather patrol around Ponyville." she said now sounding a little more active.

"That's right I've heard, uh I've heard that Pegasi are in charge of controlling the weather." Jon commented.

"That's right Johnny!" She said, giving herself a boost of confidence. "And I'm in charge of assigning who does what and in what area!"

Even thought she obviously was trying to convey that she was a high ranking weather official Jon couldn't help but imagine her sitting languidly in a cloud all day while making everyone else do the work.

"So tell me...from a Pegasus point of view how did you-- explain how you came about learning...that you could control the weather," he said as he made motions with his hand on the table. "Was it like when you were a kid you were just like; 'man I'm having such a bad day right now, oh wait why is it suddenly raining.' or--"

Both the audience and Rainbow Dash laughed. With a quick shift in weight she made it so her cloud was at a lower altitude so she could address Jon better.

"Nah man, it’s nothing like that. We pegasi are just real good at handling these kinds of things," She demonstrated by rubbing her lone cloud. "When we're young we get sent to a special kind of school in Cloudsdale where we are taught how to maintain temperature, or how to properly use a cloud, and when and where to make it rain. It's every Pegasi's duty to make sure the weather is properly maintained and regulated cause without us the seasons would...well there wouldn't be any seasons."

During her entire explanation Jon just listened and nodded his head in appreciation for the important public service that her species does every day.

"My job is just sitting on my ass and making fart jokes all day long," Jon responded which caused Rainbow Dash to roll around in her crowd laughing hysterically. "Sooooo I think we know who the clear winner is here."

"OH YEAH!?" Rainbow Dash said now feeling in a playful mood. "Well I get to sit in this comfy, comfy cloud!...Do you have a cloud? HA, didn't think so!"

"Yeah well you can keep your smelly old cloud!" he said. "My chair has wheels."

"Oh I'm sooooo jealous." She demonstrated by rolling around in her cloud till she was completely surrounding by it; with the only part of her visible being her eyes. The crowd laughed at the sight of Rainbow Dash who resembled less a pony and more like a giant white cream puff.

"You sure do love that thing," Jon said now adjusting his tie and speaking in a overly joking tone. "Wha-what, is your house made of clouds too!?"

"Actually it is!" She answered after she had popped her head through the top of her seat like a Wack-a-mole. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I live in a floating partial cloud-house just in between Cloudsdale and Ponyville .

"Huh, I...I uh,got the impression that... that you lived in Cloudsdale," he said as has he fiddled with his pen. "Don't all Pegasus come from there?"

"Eh, sorta. I was born and raised there, but now I work and hang out mostly in Ponyville." She said. "On occasion I'll still swing by my old flying grounds just to let them know whose boss...so I guess I'm lucky my place is right in the middle."

"Which...which would you say you like best?" Jon asked, feeling like throwing her an easy question. "Like say you had to uh...you were required to say in one place...the, the, the rest of your life which would it be?"

The question forced her to think for a second as she idly kicked chunks of cloud on the ground.

"Oooooo that's a tough one. Well...I'll always love Cloudsdale because it's where I grew up...plus it's where I usually spend my weekends to see the attractions. Real talk; It's one of the most happening towns in all of Equestria." She said now with a grin on her face. "Matter of fact, you should come visit sometime, Johnny...I'm sure you'll just fall head over heels in love with the place."

Only a small handful of people knew what Rainbow Dash was hinting at, and like a veteran getting painful flashbacks of his time in the war Jon shuddered as he briefly replayed the events of last night in his head.

"Buuuut if I had to choose I say I'd rather live in Ponyville," Rainbow Dash continued. "I mean it may not be as active as Cloudsdale but all my friends live there."

"Now...is that your final answer." Jon said, using his notes to pretend to fill in some boxes on an application.

"Yeah I think so," She answered. "The ponies who live are pretty nice and it's a pretty safe town...it's the kinda place where you can leave your front door unlocked at night and nopony will break in."

"Now that sounds like a great place to live: nice people, good values, and--" Jon said cutting himself off to place his two fingers against his ear. "...Ok, I'm now being told that thefts in Ponyville are at an all time high."

Although she knew he was only joking around the cyan colored Pegasus took the opportunity to brag some more.

"Thieves in Ponyville, huh? BRING EM ON!" She yelled while striking a pose like a professional boxer. "I can take em! I'll beat up anypony who tries to mess with Ponyville!"

"Ya hear that criminals!? If you come by Ponyville and start trouble you'll have to deal with Rainbow Dash!" Jon yelled while pointing at an adjacent camera. "She'll use her Pegasus powers to make the weather lightly dreary!...And...if that doesn't work...she'll, god forbid, she'll make it'll rain on you...don't tempt her! SHE'LL DO IT!"

Ordinarily his patronizing would have annoyed her but with the crowd laughing she couldn't help but join them. It was infectious that way.

"That's actually one of the reasons why I love Cloudsdale so much," She said. "It's located high in the skies so we're safe from most enemies without wings. But Ponyville...Ponyville is a sitting duck when it comes to hostiles. I swear it's like every week somepony tries to start something with us."

"I'm assuming you're talking about the number of times it's been attacked by...let's say the forces of evil?" Jon asked feeling silly for using such a corny description. "Would...you go as far to say that your being a member of the Elements of Harmony have-- uh, means that it's your responsibility to, to ensure the safety of those around you?"

"Yeah I guess you can say that, but really the citizens of Ponyville have nothing to fear with me around," she said proudly. "I was there to stop Nightmare Moon, the parasprite invasion, and when Discord came to town...yep I know my way around a bad guy or two."

"You make it sound like you did it all by yourself," Jon commented as he leaned back in his chair. "Isn't it called the Elements of Harmony?"

"Well I mean yeah sure my friends also help in protecting Equestria but I kinda like to think I do most of the work," she said as she laid about on her cloud. "When it comes to the gang I'm definitely the 'HPIC.'"

"'HPIC?'" Jon asked.

"Yep...head pony in charge." Rainbow Dash answered. The crowd cheered her on while Jon leaned in with one hand under his chin.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're not the element of modesty." He ventured.

"Hey, hey, hey all I'm saying is I do a lot for the team," she continued. "Also when Nightmare moon and Discord came to Ponyville and we used the elements to stop them what do you think was used to deliver the final blow...it wasn't a giant apple I'll tell ya that...it was a rainbow!"

"It...it really does seem like Ponyville is subject to uh, to a lot of....hostility," Jon said. "How often do you guys have to-- I mean like does the major have a special phone that she uses to call you guys? Like every other week she'll be like: 'Elements of Harmony the city of Ponyville is under attack by a giant monster; we need your help.'"

"Nah we don't have anything like that, but you know it's not a bad idea," she thought out loud. "I'll have Twilight mention it at the next town hall meeting...she's the only pony who ever goes to it."

Trying his hardest not to laugh Jon placed a hand over his mouth and lowered his head to try and contain himself. In the short time that he's known her he had to admit the thought of Twilight alone in a town hall building listening to the major was as frighteningly accurate as it was hilarious.

Making Jon Stewart laugh was enough of a victory for Rainbow Dash that she stood on her cloud to pump her hooves in the direction of the audience.

"Now...now before you said that...you like going to Cloudsdale to uh...see the attractions." Jon continued, holding back in left over laughs. "What kinds did you go see and explain, if you can, why you have to go to Cloudsdale to see them?"

Jon thought it was a relatively easy question bordering on soft but for Rainbow Dash it meant she could talk about something very important to her. Before answering she ducked slightly in her seat.

"Well Cloudsdale does have a lot to offer like the Rainbow factory or Nimbus Avenue," She said. "But when I'm there I never pass up the chance to see in action the great, the extraordinary, the biggest baddest, most awesomest group of ponies to ever exist..."

As if there was spring loaded seat in her cloud Rainbow Dash burst forward in excitement and flew straight in the air, doing a mid air back flip before diving back down on the cloud like it was a trampoline.

"...THE WONDERBOLTS!" She added, her voice high in volume.

"The who?" Jon responded.

"WHAT!?" She shot back. "You’re kidding...HOW HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF THE WONDERBOLTS!?"

"For the same reason I don't know who 'One Direction' or Nicki Minaj is," he said with a shrug. "...I'm old."

"Oh brother...alright Johnny listen up cause I'm only going to say this once!" Rainbow Dash said with a deep sigh. "The Wonder Bolts is a squad of Pegasus ponies who are famous for their performances where they show off killer aerial acrobatics and super cool demonstrations. They're the fastest flyers in all of Equestria and they often perform in Cloudsdale and on some occasions in Canterlot for the princess herself! Ever few years they scout for talent in search of new members with the current team being: Spitfire, Soarin', Rapidfire, Fleetfoot--"

"Ok, ok I get it you’re a fan!" Jon interrupted before she went any further.

"I'm not just a fan!...I'm their number once fan!" She yelped with a giddy expression. "And someday I'm going to be a member of the Wonderbolts just like them!"

"Have you tried auditioning before?" Jon asked, wanting to keep the pace of this topic alive.

"Not officially, no." She answered. "I'm still training...I want to make sure I'm ready for when I finally go for it."

"Admirable...but you know if I were you I'd just do this," Jon said as he prepared his famed stereotypical New York Accent. "Eh yo wonderbolts! You enjoyin' livin' ere in Equestria? Yeah, I saved it twice...baboom!"

As the crowd laughed Rainbow Dash tried to keep a serious look about her since they were talking about her lifelong idols.

"You know the way you describe the Wonder Bolts is the same-- is very similar to a group of flying performers here in our world," Jon continued. "They're called 'The Blue Angels' and they...pretty much do the same things that your guys do."

"Ooooo 'The Blue Angels' huh...they sound pretty cool, though not as cool as the Wonder Bolts, obviously," Rainbow Dash said, trying her best to sound forward. "Do you know what their WP is? I want to know how fast they are!"

"I'm sorry...but what's WP." Jon asked.

"You know 'Wing power,'" She answered. "I want to compare their WP with mine!"

As far as Jon knew there wasn't a well known measurement of speed known as WP. This led him to believe that Rainbow Dash might be assuming too much.

"Uh just so we're clear you do know that the members of The Blue Angles don't actually have wings, right?" He asked a now shocked Rainbow Dash.

"Wait, what?" She said. "How can they perform flying acrobatics if they don't even have wings?"

"They do so because they fly in planes," he continued only to get more confused looks, "Uh...a plane is a mechanical device that allows humans to fly for a period of time...they don't actually have wings on their backs, no human does."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on here!" Rainbow Dash demanded as she shook her head. "So you're telling me that in addition to not being able to use magic humans can't even fly? Wow, and here I thought you were just the human version of an Earthpony...I kinda feel sorry for you humans."

The crowd cooed in fake protest; they took her statement not as an insult but as a humorous look at human life.

"You guys over at Ponyville live next to a 30-foot-tall Hydra," Jon quipped back. "I think us...as New Yorkers not having to live next door to a multi-headed dragon is a pretty good trade off for not having wings or a horn on our head."

It was almost time for the interview segment to end so Jon made sure to get one least question in before they had to go to a commercial break.

"Before we go I want to know...what is-- what exactly is a 'Sonic Rainboom?'" Jon continued. "You're known for being the only pony to ever pull it off but aside from the footage I'm not very sure what it is."

"Well to put it simply...the Sonic Rainboom is when a pony flies so fast that they can break through the color barrier," She explained proudly. "When the barrier is broken a whole buncha colors gets released, and I'm the only pony who's ever done it."

"Congratulations." Jon said right before the crowd had a quick round of applause for the proud Pegasus. "That sounds like quite a nice thing to have on your Pony resume."

"Yeah...it kinda is," She said trying and failing to sound humble about it. "Sooo tell me Jon have your precious Blue Angles done anything as cool as a Sonic Rainboom?"

"Uh...well I'm not sure about that," he answered, his guest acting not at all surprised. "But we do have a guy who-- he, who broke the sound barrier...a guy by the name of Felix Baumgartner."

This sudden new development caused Rainbow Dash to sit up in her cloud and take notice.

"Wait...w-what did he do?" She asked cautiously.

"Oh nothing much he just flew up into space and Skydived all the way back to earth," Jon continued. "He went so fast he actually broke the sound barrier."

"That...sounds awesome!" She said, her voice high pitched for a second.

"Yeah...it kinda is." He responded with a smug grin.

"Hey wait a minute!" She said. "I thought you said no humans had wings...how did this Felix guy fly up all the way to space!?"

Jon had to think for a second before answering since he only knew vague details of the operation.

"Well a space team sponsored by 'Red Bull' brought him up there." Jon said. "The whole thing was something of a publicity stunt with the main goal being Felix breaking a number of world records?"

"Wait...so what you're saying is...a Bull brought this human into space?" Rainbow Dash asked as she tried to visualize what it would look like in person.

"No actually that's-- you see 'Red bull' is an energy drink company, not an actual bovine." Jon explained.

"So an energy drink company made a human jump from space to break some records and gain attention?" Rainbow Dash summarized out loud while counting on her hooves.

"Welcome to America!" Jon announced as he threw his arms out. "Actually that reminds me...the 'Red Bull' company also tried to get in contact with me this morning...they too wanted to see if you wanted to work for them."

"Oooooh let me guess," Rainbow Dash said, her voice sounding annoyed. "They are somehow connected with Rainbows so they wanted me to be their mascot."

"Actually no not at all," Jon explained. "I believe they were interested in you because of the fact that you can fly."

"REALLY!" She said with an ever present smile. "Is, is, is it because I'm super fast and agile with a WP level that could put anypony to shame!?"

"I can't be one hundred percent certain but I think it's because you have wings," Jon said, trying not to laugh. "...Their slogan for the company is 'Redbull gives you wings.'"

Her once enthusiastic smile disappeared as she fell through her cloud and landed on the guest's chair. The crowd began to laugh as Rainbow Dash smacked her hoof against her face. After a round of laughter Jon leaned in to address her.

"Rainbow Dash it's been great having you here today!" Jon said as he grabbed her hoof to give it a shake. "And I wish the best of luck to you in your dream of being a member of the Wonder Bolts."

"...Thanks, Johnny!" She said as her spirits began to lift again.

"Listen can you stick around for about five minutes and we'll throw the rest up on the web?" He asked as he pointed to the camera.

"Sure thing, big guy!" She said as she flew back in the air.

"Excellent! Thanks again for being here today," Jon said as he turned to the camera. "Rainbow Dash everyone. We'll be right back."

The camera began to pan away in a slightly faster pace than usual. This was done so the audience at could get a good view of Rainbow Dash who at this point was flying just at arms reach above Jon's head. It was slightly harder to tell but right before the segment ended the last thing anyone could see was Jon whispering something in her ear. The cheers of the audience got louder and louder only to slowly fade as the Daily Show logo appeared on screen then vanish in favor of the final commercial break.

Episode 12 [Iron Will]: The dinner

In his almost fifty years of living Jon Stewart had to overcome many obstacles. As an entertainer one very prominent difficulty he faced early on was having to get up in front of an audience; the fear of having many people focused on you is one that has resonated in mankind for generations.

Fortunately for him this was a fear he learned to conquer through decades of experience. Sure he'd come off as humble by saying he still felt nervous every now and again but deep down he knew the second he was on stage addressing a crowd he was in full control.

Which is why it baffled him that he could stand in the same historic location that Dr. King gave his famous "I have a dream" speech and talk to 215,000 people with no problems, but sitting on his couch with two kids staring at him was more than he could handle.

It was almost dinner time in the Stewart household and Jon was occupying himself by sitting in the adjacent living room couch while reading the day's newspaper; a tradition in itself for last minute conversation starters. He was still only on the second page because, try as he might, he was unable to get much reading done knowing that his kids were glaring at him.

Very delicately he peaked over the right hand fold the paper to see if his they were still watching him. He immediately caught two pair of sad eyes looking at him and swiftly ducked his head back in the news section.

"Pleeeeeeeeeease, Daddy?" Nathan said.

"No." Jon responded.

"Pretty please, Daddy?" Maggie added.

"Double no." He said back.

After a lengthy moment of silence Jon peered over his paper once again on the off chance that the two gave up and went on their way; no such luck. They continued to look at him with the same big puppy eyes which they both knew was his weakness. This back and forth between Jon as his two children had been going one for almost twenty minutes now and they showed no signs of letting up.

He tried to finish the second paragraph of the article he was one when he felt a heavy weight on each of his legs. When he looked over he saw that each of his kids and clamped on to him like a monkey on a tree branch. They were becoming increasingly hard to ignore

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaase!?" They said to Jon who ignored their pleading.

The reason why they were literally begging at his feet was due to they're not being allowed to see their beloved nanny Trixie who was locked up in the guest bed room. This was not a form of punishment on their part but rather the other way around; Trixie was the one who was in trouble.

It had been almost a month since Trixie accidentally stranded herself in the human world and in the short amount of time she had surprisingly made herself a valued asset to Jon. She didn't teach him much in the ways of magic and her powers were rarely useful to him, but what she lacked in magic she more than made up for as a caretaker.

Her willingness to help watch over the children made life very easy for Jon, so much so that he was considering keeping her full time; but her presence wasn't without its ups and downs. Aside from being a constant pain in the neck she had also caused Jon some problems on occasion

The most recent of which was when Trixie, blinded by her own hubris, teleported Jon to Cloudsdale, not realizing that only a Pegasus could walk on its terrain. The results were not good.

In the end Jon forgave Trixie and decided not to tell the family what she had done on the assumption that if they ever found out they might turn on her (especially Tracey who didn't like the idea of having magic in the house to begin with). The last thing Jon wanted was for everyone to hate her and cast her out like so many others in her life had done. But at the same time he felt that she deserved some king of punishment.

As much as he didn't like to admit it Jon had accepted Trixie into his life in a way he didn't anticipate and could not explain. For all her faults he was slowly seeing her not as a housemate but as a member of the family; almost as if she too was one of his children.

So to that end he made a compromise to punish her in a manner most fitting; the same way he'd punish his actual son or daughter if they did something wrong...every day till he saw fit Trixie would have a serve a mandatory 30 minute time out in her room. On average a time out would last ten minutes but since she had almost killed him he felt it should be longer.

This of course didn't sit well with Jon's actual kids since it meant they couldn't play with their new best friend, hence their constant begging that he let Trixie out early.

"Please Daddy!?" Maggie said. "Can she come out now!?"

"No, sweety." Jon answered as he lazily shook the leg she was on.

"Why not?" Nathan asked.

"Because she's still in time out." He answered again.

"But why!?" Maggie urged.

"I can't tell you...but let's just say SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID!" Jon yelled over his shoulder in a loud but non angry tone.

A voice from upstairs picked up on this and yelled back.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!" Trixie yelled from her room, but Jon didn't respond. He went back to reading his paper when at that moment both Nathan and Maggie leapt on the couch taking either side of him.

"She did say she was sorry!" Nathan said.

"Yeah! Come on Daddy it's been like...a hundred minutes!" Maggie said, confident that her estimation was accurate.

Jon was about to tell them that if they kept asking they would share the same fate as Trixie but when he looked over at his daughter he caught her giving an almost cartoonish facial expression, complete with watery eyes and pouting lips. He quickly turned away only to see his son give the exact same look. He had to choice but to cave in.

"Oh, alright," Jon conceded. "She can come downstairs."

"REALLY!?" Both children said in unison, their sad demeanor vanishing without a trace.

"Yeah really." He said getting up to stretch his back. "It's almost dinner time anyway...I don't want PETA thinking I'm starving animals."

"YAAAAY!" Maggie exclaimed as she jumped up and down on the sofa while her brother turned around to face the stairway.

"HEY GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" Nathan yelled. "YOU CAN COME DOWN NOW!"

His words echoed throughout the house but nothing happened. Thinking it was because Nathan had said it and not himself Jon decided to give Trixie the official "OK."

"It's alright, Trixie." Jon called out. "You can come down now. I've decided to let--"

Jon was caught off guard by a bright light in the middle of the living room, followed by the sudden appearance of the now free Trixie. Her unexpected entrance caused him to stumble backwards in shock.

"SON OF A--" He said, trying to regain his balance. At the last second however he tripped over the nearby ottoman and landed awkwardly on the sofa.

Regret immediately started to set in but if nothing else at least his kids were now happy, as evident by their swift departure from the sofa in favor of greeting Trixie in a loving embrace. Both were hugging her in such a way that she was now off the ground by a few inches; Nathan eventually released her but Maggie continued to hold onto her like she was an oversized teddy bear but Trixie didn't mind.

"I really wish you wouldn't do that." Jon said as the paper he was trying to previously read landed softly on his head.

"Oh Stewart one would think you'd be used to my magic by now," she said arrogantly while still being held from behind. "I mean really I thought you humans were good at adapting...perhaps you're just a bit slow."

Both of Jon's children began to laugh at Jon's clumsy disposition; though to him it seemed like his kids were laughing with him while Trixie was laughing at him.

"Oh you think that's funny huh?...I'll give you something to laugh about," Jon said as he got up and hunched over with a crooked smile. "I think it's time for a visit from...the...TICKLE MONSTER!"

Trixie was just about to comment on how offish Jon looked but she found it hard to breathe let along say anything with Maggie now holding her with a much tighter force than before.

"NO! NOT THE TICKLE MONSTER!" Nathan yelled with a playful smile.

"QUICK GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, RUN!" Maggie yelled oblivious to the fact that she was still holding her up.

Just as Jon had predicted the two kids ran off giggling down the hallway carrying Trixie along with them.

"NOT AGAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaain!" Trixie yelled as she eventually disappeared around the corner.

With Trixie and the kids gone Jon was finally alone but it was a hollow victory since he was no longer in the mood to catch up on daily events. With dinner just about done he decided to make himself useful by setting the table.

Slowly making his way to the dining table he caught a view of his wife in the kitchen already putting even portions of food onto separate plates.

"What are we having today?" Jon asked as he laid down some forks and knives.

"Ground beef and cheesy casseroles for us," Tracey answered. "And skinless chicken with asparagus for you."

"Sounds delicious...for you guys," Jon joked as he helped her place the food in the center of the table.

"Yeah well until Dr. Morrow says otherwise it's 'heart healthy' for you." She said, patting him on the chest.

Jon responded only with a tired smile as he followed her back in the kitchen to retrieve the last containers of food. On the way back the silence was broken by Tracey.

"So you and Trixie are still going at it, huh?" She asked getting a nod in return. "You finally going to tell me what she did to get you all worked up?"

For a brief moment Jon thought back to the last time he was in Equestria and how he was almost met with a terrible fate. He grimaced at the thought and placed his hand over the very heart his wife fought so hard to protect. He didn't like keeping secrets from her but at the same time he didn't want her to worry over something that was a genuine accident.

"It's nothing really." Jon said. "Don't worry about it." He made sure to briefly look in the opposite direction to avoid eye contact since she was an expert in reading his face.

"I see...well whatever happened I'm sure you're overreacting." Tracey added. "She does seem sorry so try to go easy on her?"

"Well listen to you," he said with a half smile. "Weren't you the one hellbent on kicking her out of the house the second you got the chance...now you're defending her?"

What Jon said was true; he wasn't the only one who came to appreciate her services. Tracey herself wasn't keen on the idea of having the young unicorn in her own house; if it wasn't for Trixie's expertise in child care she probably would have insisted she go back to Equestria a long time ago. She still was iffy on the concept of having a mythical creature with other worldly powers so close to her kids but even she had to admit she served a pretty good purpose.

"Eh what can I say, she's good with the kids." Tracey said with a shrug. "You know how hard it is to find a full time baby sitter."

With the table almost ready the last thing that was needed was to set down the food filled plates in the right areas. Tracey stepped into the kitchen and grabbed the four sets of plates waitress style, a trick she learned when she was younger. After putting them in the desired locations on the table she spun around and entered the kitchen once again to retrieve Trixie's eating bowl.

Letting Trixie stay with them wasn't without its conditions. For one Trixie was required to wear a cork on her horn when in the company of the children (to avoid any eye to horn contact) and she couldn't use her magic directly on them.

But another term of her living arrangements was she was not allowed to eat at the dinner table. It was simple rule that she had grown up on as a kid: no animals at the dinner table. So instead of dinning with them she had to eat in the corner or upstairs in her room, hence the bowl. Trixie thought it was a bit demeaning though she never made any complaints about it; mostly because it was Tracey's decision and not Jon's.

Tracey was about to reach out and grab the bowl when a thought crossed her mind. At first she brushed it aside and continued her business, but then she looked back at the table. Even though it was now complete, except for anyone sitting down, she couldn't help but feel that it was somehow lacking.

She looked at the bowl that was now in her hands and back at the table. After a quick deliberation she made a snap decision.

"Honey," she called out. "Could you call everyone over please?" Jon obliged and hollered for everyone to gather for dinner.

Soon both Maggie and Nathan found their way to the dining table with Trixie following close by.

"Come on boys and girls this food aint gonna say warm all night." Jon said before sitting down at one of the end of the table.

"Calm yourself, Stewart," Trixie insisted. "Somepony your...age should really learn the virtue of patience less they acquire extra grey in their mane."

The two children sat in their usual spots and Trixie walked over to the corner where she normally ate. She was somewhat confused to find that her corner of the room was completely devoid of dinner. She wondered if Tracey had forgotten to serve her food but before her brain could process any more possible explanations her attention was drawn away by someone calling out her name.

"Trixie, dear?" Tracey said from nearby. "I was thinking that perhaps you'd like to...join us for dinner."

Trixie turned around and saw Tracey pulling up a chair in between Nathan and Maggie. In front of it was a plate with an assortment of food already laid out and a glass of water next to it.

"Great and Powerful Trixie can eat with us this time!?" Nathan asked, his eyes wide with astonishment.

"She sure can," Tracey answered as she patted the seat with her palm. "If she would like to that is?"

Trixie was at a loss for words. It may have been a small gesture but to her it meant so much more.

She knew that her being there had caused the two parents some hardships and that Tracey especially wasn't particularity fond of her from the beginning. So for her to openly invite Trixie to the dinner table made the blue Unicorn feel wanted. It was a feeling she wasn't used to.

She looked over at Jon who gave her a wink and motioned for her to sit down.

Her mouth hung open as she tried to think of a snarky answer; something that conveyed that she would accept her offer but that she ultimately didn't care. Such a comeback couldn't be found...because it didn't exist.

"T-t-thank you," Trixie said with an earnest smile. "I'd...love to."

Episode 12 [Iron Will]: Trixie joins a lovely dinner

When sitting at the dinner table Jon liked to position himself at the very end so he could survey the entire family, essentially acting like a referee. From where he sat he could clearly see his wife and two kids but from his angle he could not see Trixie, at least not right away.

Jon was trying his hardest not to laugh, for doing so would have undoubtedly killed the mood that was Trixie's acceptance at the dinner table....though the fact that she was too short to see over threshold had already done that.

Trixie was visibly frustrated by this though Jon couldn't tell since he could only make out her horn and a small section of her head. Not wanting her gesture to be for nothing Tracey lightly jogged to the kitchen where she hastily rummaged under the sink. She eventually returned with what she was looking for, a booster seat from when Nathan was younger.

Without asking Tracey effortlessly picked Trixie up with one arm and slid the kiddie chair underneath her. Normally she would have objected to being manhandled in such a way but her attention was on Jon who was trying his best to keep a straight face.

"There we go!" She said, giving Trixie a pat on the head. "See, you can hardly tell."

"I...suppose this will have to do," Trixie said. She adjusted herself while at the same time trying to ignore Jon's stifled giggles. "Though in the future I shall require more...appropriate seating arrangements. After all I am the Great and Po--"

The sound of a loud clicking noise filled the room leaving it in silence. Trixie lowered her head to see that during her speech Nathan and leaned over and bucked the safety belt around her waist. She gave him a confused look till he explained himself.

"...It's so you don't fall down." He said sounding concerned for her safety. The silence didn't last long after that, not with Jon laughing so hard he almost fell out of his chair himself.

To show how serious she was Trixie slammed her hooves on the table to lift herself up from her seat. But before she could even say anything she was yanked back down by the booster seat which was also attached to chair. This only made Jon laugh even more.

"Ok, ok everyone let's just calm for a second," Tracey announced. "This is our first of many dinners with everyone present and I'd like it to be a pleasant one!"

All parties agreed, though Trixie took a moment to give Jon a dirty look, and after a quick moment of grace the five were ready to eat.

"Alright let's dig in!" Jon said.

He and Tracey wasted no time. The sound of silverware clanging on ceramic plates could be heard from their side of the table. But on the other side which housed Maggie, Nathan and Trixie, very little eating was taking place. Instead they were to busy talking amongst themselves.

It was Tracey's decision to put Trixie in between her two children. This strategic placement was done to prevent any fighting between the two siblings but her plan had somewhat backfired. When she looked across the table, instead of eating, she saw that the three were too busy trying to converse with Trixie.

"...And this is called a 'fork,' and, and, and this is called a 'spoon,'" Maggie said pointing to the eating utensils. "...Aaaand this is called a 'plate'...oh and this is a 'napkin,' you use it to wipe your face....and this--"

"Maggie sweetheart, I know what all these things are." Trixie said in soft tone. "My world isn't that much different from yours."

"Says the talking magic horse," Jon interjected, getting her attention. "While we’re on the subject, tell me…how do you guys eat food over there without any...you know?" To visually get his point across Jon wiggled his fingers in the air.

"Well if you must know...most ponies just sort of...dig in I guess you can say. It's abysmal really." Trixie said looking at the silverware in front of her. "Now, when it comes to more cultured ponies like us Unicorns we eat like this."

Using her magic she levitated a fork and knife off the table with ease. A simple spell but it left the two children absolutely captivated. She was about to use them to scoop up a helping of ground beef when Tracey intervened.

"Ah, ah, ah! No magic,Trixie!" She said in an authoritative tone. Trixie gave her a look, like she had told her to eat with her hooves tied behind her back. "I'm sorry dear, but not at the dinner table."

"But...I'm Trixie?" She said.

"It's only fair," Jon said with a smirk. "I mean everyone else follows that rule." Ignoring him Trixie looked around then continued to address Tracey

"With all due respect Ms. McShane," Trixie said in a polite tone while exposing both her hooves. "How exactly am I supposed to eat?"

"OH, OH, OH, OH I'LL DO IT!" Maggie said raising her hand in the air. "I'LL FEED HER!"

The family watched as Maggie scooped up a spoonful of her own food then immediately tried to get Trixie to eat it. In protest the tied down Unicorn leaned back, feeling slightly awkward. Spoon feeding someone in a kiddie chair was something she was used to doing not the other way around.

Tracey thought the gesture was equal parts adorable and humiliating. The look of discomfort on Trixie's face was enough to get her to reconsider her stance.

"On second thought you can use your magic," Tracey said, still uncomfortable with the idea of levitation being combined with sharp objects. "Just...please be careful."

"There is no need to worry." Trixie said in a pompous tone. "When it comes to using magic the Great and Powerful is always very careful and diligent." Jon nearly choked on his helping of asparagus.

Now having gotten the green light Trixie began to eat her food with excitement, which caused the kids to do the same.

Since this was her first time eating with the family, as opposed to just being in proximity, Trixie tried her best to act respectful. She listened to what everyone else had to say and made sure to compliment Tracey on her cooking which she very much admired.

Being a traveling entertainer had given Trixie the chance the experience a wide selection of culinary delights but none of them came close to the meals she had in the Stewart home.

At first Tracey had offered to put her on a proper diet of grass and oats but Trixie refused. She wanted the opportunity to consume food that she would otherwise never have the chance to try again; meat-based products being the most obvious example since Equestria was a vegetarian state.

Jon always thought it was weird that she was able to eat food like: pork, chicken, and beef, since she herself was also an animal. What irked Jon the most was how she seemed almost enthusiastic about it. Whenever she ate she usually had larger portions of meat than anything else, like she reveled in the idea of being on top of the food chain.

Jon once asked her how she could stomach eating such things and she responded by saying something along the lines of: "One life form must be sacrificed so another can live...that's just life."

Jon wasn’t surprised; even though she was a pony it would seem that Trixie was a carnivorous predator at heart.

Her favorite dish was Tracey's stuffed chicken breast with mushrooms.

The rest of dinner progressed in a fluent manner with everyone eating and no confrontation. Each family member took turns telling everyone else what they did that day with the children's daily activities being almost identical since they mostly just played with Trixie.

Eventually everyone finished off their plates with a few of them going back for seconds. Both Nathan and Maggie left room for what was about to come.

Much like the format of Jon's show the best was saved for last. Dessert.

Tracey stood to make her announcement.

"Ok kids, should we have dessert today?" She asked, knowing full well what their answer would be.

"YES!"

"YES!" Both yelled in agreement.

To express how serious they were about their answer both were jumping up and down in their seats.

"Ok, ok settle down!" She said. "Tonight you can either have: Fresh baked cookies, pudding, or brownies...I'm only making one."

"Pudding!"

"Pudding!" They said still on the same wavelength.

"Alright, it's decided," she said waving her hand for them to sit back down. "Pudding it is. Now I only have the ingredients to make one kind of batch so what's it going to be: Chocolate or strawberry?"

Again both kids jumped in their seats with answers.

"Chocolate!"

"Strawberry!"

A moment passed before the brother and sister looked at each other from across the table, their conflicting answers caused them to stare at each other intently. It was wise to have Trixie sit in between them after all. The two began to argue and shout profanity at each other, though it never got worse than the phrase "Poop face."

Before she got the chance to scold them the Trixie banged her hooves together got their attentions just long enough for Tracey to continue.

"Thank you, Trixie," she said with a nod. “If you two don't stop fighting none of you will get anything!"

In a gesture to show their cooperation both children placed their hands over their mouths and sat back down as quickly as they could.

"Ok good," she said. "Now unless you two can agree on a flavor I think we should put it to a vote."

"In that case…a full endorsement for chocolate from me." Jon said, lifting his hand in the air.

"NO!" Maggie exclaimed, disappointing that her dad could betray her like that. Nathan on the other hand was elated.

"Alright, alright, if anyone wants to participate in the vote you can...I will too just to be fair!" Tracey announced sitting back down. "Ok...all in favor of chocolate…raise your hand."

As expected both Jon and his son raised their hands in the air, with Nathan clearly more invested.

"And all in favor of strawberry?" She continued, raising her hand in the process. Unsurprisingly Maggie raised her hand too but the in addition a last minute participant joined the fray, acting as the swing vote needed to break the tie.

It was official:

Chocolate got two raised hands. And Strawberry also got two raised hands plus a hoof. Nathan looked devastated.

"TRIXIE WHY!?" He asked.

"I'm sorry honey, but Trixie had to do it," she said. To show she meant it she gently patted him on the head, rustling his light brown hair. "I'm more of a strawberry girl myself."

"Well then it looks like we have a winner," Tracey said heading back in kitchen. "It'll be ready in about 20 to 30 minutes."

As a post celebratory gesture Maggie called for Trixie to give her a high five which only served to make Nathan feel more defeated.

"No fair!" Nathan sulked as she crossed his arms.

"Get used to Nate." Jon said giving his son a playful chuck on the shoulder. "This kind of thing is going to be happening a lot around here."

"W-what do you mean, Daddy?" He asked looking distraught.

"Son...in my lifetime I've learned many things," he said after taking a sip of water. "One of them is that woman tend to band together as a team on issues such as this. Trixie's a girl, so with her here us guys are outnumbered three to two. You know what that means?"

"More strawberries!?" Nathan asked in horror.

"Exactly!" Jon answered. Nathan looked over to catch his sister sticking her tongue out at him.

"DADDY! Can't you get a friend from work who is a boy?" He asked desperately. "Like a boy pony who could help us?"

"First of all son they're called colts." Jon corrected. "Second of all that's gonna be a problem?"

"Why?" He asked.

"Because he's never had a colt on his show before," Trixie answered on his behalf. "Every guest your father's had from Equestria have been female....haven't you noticed?"

"We're not allowed to watch Daddy's show." Nathan said.

"Why is that?" She asked, momentarily surprised to see Tracey poke her head back into the room. She was also mixing some ingredients in a bowl with a wooden spoon.

"Because whenever those two watch the show they always seem to pick up a new swear word or two." She said shooting a quick look over at her husband who innocently avoiding eye contact.

"Yes well it's not surprising when you think about it." Trixie continued. "In my world the population is mostly girls."

"Wow, really!?" Maggie asked in astonishment.

"Indeed." She answered. "I believe it's about an 8:1 ratio."

"...Daddy what's a Ray-she-oh?" Maggie asked.

Jon didn't answer, instead he was crunching the numbers in his head based on the couple of times he's been to Equestria. To a certain degree he believed her to be true. Even though he had done so he could hardly recall ever talking with a colt.

"Daddy you need to get boy on your show!" Nathan demanded as he tugged on Jon's arm.

"Ok first of all...for the record not every guest I've had on my show has been a girl." Jon said defensively. "As a matter of fact my very first guest was Spike the Dragon; a boy. And second of all...you guys just gave me a great idea."

Without waiting for anyone to ask he stood up made his way to the stairs.

"Trixie I'm tagging you in." He said patting her on the shoulder. "Keep the kids in line while I make a phone call...think you can handle it."

"Of course," she said with a smug grin. She took a moment to brush the shoulder that Jon had touched. "Better than you could I'd guess."

Ignoring Trixie's remark he quickly gave each of his children a kiss on the cheek before lightly jogging upstairs to his study room. He had an idea of who he wanted on his show next.

Episode 12 [Iron Will]: Jon's simple request

With a full stomach Jon plopped himself in the armchair located behind the desk of his study. He was tempted to just sit there for awhile but he knew if he did he'd fall asleep. It wasn't that late but he was already starting to feel the effects of his wife's cooking.

Getting back to business he picked up his study phone and began to dial a series of numbers that only he knew. While the phone rang he gently rubbed his stomach and took a deep breath, finally after it seemed like no one would pick up voice finally answered.

"Hello and thank you for calling the Equestrian pizza emporium." Celestia clearly said. "May I take your order?"

Jon paused for a second wondering if his royal friend was being serious or not. If she was trying to pull a prank she was doing it wrong on so many levels.

Clearing his throat he decided then and there to show her how it's done.

"סלסטיה יש תחת גדול ושמן!" Jon said. He was speaking in Hebrew which caused the tone of his voice to change drastically. "והכתר שלה עשוי מפלסטיק!"

"OH! I'm sorry but I believe you have the wrong number." She said sounding very apologetic. "I do apologize for this inconvenience."

"Celestia it's me...Jon." He said, his voice once again to its normality. "And FYI when you make the 'pretend you've called a pizza place’ joke you're supposed to change your voice NOT talk normally."

There was a silence on the other end of the phone but Jon could swear he heard her blush.

"I-I see, well I thank you for your input." She said now sounding more professional. "Now then...did you need my help with something, Jon?"

"Yeah I want to place an order of half peperoni and half mushrooms." Jon teased. "But seriously yes I do need your assistance with-- uh, but first I'd like to perform a little social experiment if I may?"

"Oh, of course," She said. "Sounds rather exciting really."

"Alright just bear with me for a moment," Jon said, thinking about how to phrase his question. "I want...I want you to give me five random names of people you know. It can anyone from a family member to one of your subjects from Ponyville but you can only pick five....and GO!"

"Very well let me think," She responded, pausing for a moment to give it some though. "Alright then...how about: Twilight, Granny Smith, Sapphire Shores, Golden Harvest, and...let's say Nurse Redheart."

"Good, now tell me...what are the genders of those five individuals?" Jon asked. Celestia took a second to recall her answers.

"Hmmmm...they are all female now that you mention it." She answered. She was now starting to see where Jon was going with this line of questioning.

"Exactly my point." Jon said, throwing his feet on his desk.

"And what point would that be?" Celestia ask.

"That 'Equestrian Interviews' has neglected a particular interest group...men." He answered only to stop and think of how odd it sounded. "Huh...this must be how woman feel all time over here...Equestria really is in Bizarro world."

"Well Jon…I will admit that is a problem but do need I remind you that you're the one who picks the guests?" She asked trying to sound not at all abrasive. "Besides you're first guest was spike...I'll admit I may not be an expert on Dragon anatomy but I am certain he is male."

"Ok it's true that I'm the one who picks the guest but you got to admit the odds are pretty stacked against me." Jon said picking up the list of names Celestia had given to him when they first met. "I mean I'm willing to bet that there are way more woman than men written available to me...I'd guess about an 8:1 ratio?"

"Hmmm...yes that does seem about right." Celestia humbly admitted.

“You see my point then? My show has become the opposite of a sausage fest.” Jon said. "Oh and as far as Spike goes…he’s great...but if I had a choice I'd also like a male guest who's already hit puberty."

"Well you do have a choice," She said cheerfully. "And if you really need a man in your life that badly I'll be happy to assist you."

"Thanks?" Jon said. "But uh...yeah for my next guest I'd like someone who is...a real man...you know?"

"I see...and what exactly is your definition of a 'real man.'" Celestia asked before taking a sip of her tea.

"Well let's see," he said. "Big, strong, has a penis...you know the basics." Jon didn't hear it but Celestia almost choked on her beverage."

"I...I see." Celestia said taking a deep breath. "Well luckily for you I have the perfect candidate."

"Really?" Jon asked.

"Oh indeed!" She said with a slight grin. "His name is Big Mac...Applejack's older brother. I believe you'll find he possesses all the...qualifications you mentioned earlier."

Ordinarily Jon would have blindly accepted her suggestion without a second thought but this time he knew better. The thought of interviewing Big Mac gave him chills.

"Nice try your royal Highness!" Jon said. "But I've talked to him before...if possible I'd like a guest who'll say more than two words."

"Yes I suppose that would be in your best interest." Celestia said, sounding almost disappointing. "I guess that rules out Snowflake as well."

"Beg pardon?" He asked.

"Oh, never mind; just a thought." She responded.

"Look...If you could find me someone who's big and strong like Big Mac but who's also a bit of a loud mouth that would be perfect." Jon joked not expecting she'd take it seriously.

"Well...actually there is somepony like that," She answered honestly. "Yes I believe I know the perfect guest for you!"

"Is that right?" He said in a suspicious tone.

"Yes indeed, we've actually spoken about him before...do you remember Iron Will?" She asked.

"Vaguely." He answered. "Isn't he a minotaur?"

"Yes he is but he's also a motivational speaker." She answered. "I would imagine you'd be hard pressed to find another man who talks as much as he does."

"Sounds good to me!" Jon said, standing up. "Can I ask him in person...I've never met a Minotaur before."

"Unfortunately that won't be an option this time." Celestia said. "You see he makes his living going from place to place so it's difficult to pin point where exactly he is at any given time."

"Oh I see." He said sitting back down.

"But not to worry I'll use a spell to locate him myself and have him in your studio by morning." She added.

"And if he says ‘no?’" Jon asked trying to cover all his basses.

"Oh I don't that's going to happen." She assured him.

"Why is that?" He asked.

"Because if I know him as well as I think I do he'll just be dying for the chance to appear on TV." Celestia answered.

Taking her word for it Jon agreed to the arrangement and after saying their goodbyes hung up the phone. With a tired yawn he made his way to the door where he stopped briefly to look over at his small book shelf.

Fueled by curiosity he walked over to grab his book of mythical creatures that he had on hand. A few turned pages later he was once again looking at the passage for Minotaurs. Looking back at him was the same frightening image of a half man half bull creatures wielding an axe.

"Yeesh," Jon said to himself. "I hope he's friendly."

Episode 12 [Iron Will]: Please welcome to the show Iron Will

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Iron Will
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

On the day of the show, that would feature Iron Will as a guest, Jon found himself reminiscent of his very first Equestrian Interview with Spike.

On the paper to two had a lot in common: Both where mythical creatures, both were male, both were non-ponies, and both had seemingly uninteresting occupations. But most importantly Jon had no idea what food to put in their gift baskets.

Like before, Jon pondered as to what exactly constitutes a proper meal for a Minotaur and if they had any dietary restrictions. He was part bull yes but if the book he read on fantasy monsters was any indication he was also human. Last time he let something like this pass without a second thought his personal assistant lost her necklace but with Iron will the consequences had the potential to be so much worse.

In the end he just had his interns, who were stuck between grass and the discarded corpses of his defeated enemies, figure it out.

The first two segments of show went smoothly with very little problems or mishaps...at least on stage. In the back however the stagehands were having trouble dealing with the guest of the night. He wasn't causing trouble but rather was getting anxious for his debut.

For the convenience of those who were scheduled to appear there was a monitor in the waiting room so they could see the entire show up to their appearance. It only made him more anxious.

As the crowd's deafening cheers escalated in anticipation the camera switched gears from its last commercial break to a quick zoom in on Jon who was distracting himself by twirling his notes against the smooth surface of his desk. When he looked up at the incoming camera two of his notes flew from his grasp and onto the floor.

Jon looked over to see them one last time before speaking.

"Welcome to the Daily Show my guest tonight!" He said over the crowd. "A Minotaur and motivational speaker who travels all over Equestria giving advice on how to be more assertive." Directing the fans attention Jon proceeded to point to the incoming video.

"I bet he's a real nice guy in person," Jon said with a hopeful smile. "Please welcome to the show, Iron Will!"

The crowd began to cheer as the camera switched to the left to show the backstage entrance. At first someone did appear but it wasn't Iron Will but instead a goat. It briefly popped its head out to have a look around before disappearing back into the dark.

Jon was about to go investigate when the actual scheduled guest finally made his appearance. With a powerful leap a tall creature made its way to the center of the stage, striking a pose in the process; it was Iron will himself being followed by five goats ranging from black, white and various shades of middle grey.

Just as he predicted Iron Will had the head of a bull and the body of a human, though it's worth noting that he was part bull from the waist down, and was covered with blue fur.

Both he and his goats were also wearing some accessories. The goats looked like secret service members with their neckties, and tiny headsets while Iron Will himself had roughly the same outfit but with a pair of sunglasses which he used to counter the many flashes of light from cameras.

Instead of walking across the stage he instead took giant steps by way of flexing for the audience. Jon met him half way where he hesitantly offered to shake his hand. The Minotaur stopped posing for a moment to oblige him with a powerful hand shake and a hardy slap on the back; then it was right back to flexing.

This brief moment of interaction left Jon with an idea of just how big his guest was. Though he was large Iron Will was around Jon's height but his horns and muscles created the illusion that he was taller.

After a small amount of time passed Iron Will took his seat at the desk with Jon who was ready to begin. For the first time in an episode of "Equestrian Interviews" a guest actually sat down in the chair normally, as opposed to needed a boost or using a cloud.

After the crowd's cheers began to die down the interview officially began, but not before Jon self-consciously adjusting the height of his swivel chair to look even taller by comparison.

"Nice crowd you got here." Iron Will said giving them one last quick pose.

"Oh yeah they're great...but you...Y-you know I-- just once I wish I'd have a guest from Equestria...who wears pants." Jon joked to set the mood. "Seriously I'm not sure if we should put a sensor bar on you or not."

The Joke went over well with everyone in the room, but the goats, having a quick laugh.

"Thank you for joining us here today Iron Will," he continued. "You know uh, we don't normally get you Minotaur types here on the show."

"Oh really? And why might that be Jon?" Iron Will asked clearly willing to play along. "You afraid of us or something!"

"Not, not at all! I love your kind," Jon said switching now to an aristocratic voice. "I just wouldn't want my daughter marrying one of your kind."

Both shared a laugh with Iron Will using much more volume in his voice.

"But really it's great to have you here," Jon said shaking his powerful hand once again. "Also this is very interesting for the show because this-- you are the third non-pony I've gotten to interview from Equestria and--"

"Oh is that right?" Iron Will interrupted.

"I--yes, yes it is." Jon added. "Which is great because I think...if I interview seven more I win a free sub."

Iron Will laughed with the audience while at the same time slamming his hand against the desk.

"So Will...by the way can I call you will?" Jon asked while extending his arm forward. "So will, I wa-want to ask...uh who-- what's with the goats?"

"Oh them?" Iron Will, said looking behind. "They're just Iron Will's stagehands what help me from show to show, but right now their acting as sort of my body guards in this new world."

Jon didn't answer right away but instead stared at his guest, which earned him a slight chuckle form the audience.

"...I would think you'd be the last person who needs a body guard," Jon said, motioning to his muscles. "You know cause...for a second I thought they were like...you're groupies or something."

"HA! Trust me Jon someone like me..." He said pausing to flex his arms. "Could get somepony much better looking than them."

Jon peaked over to see if Iron Will’s claims would get a reaction out of his followers but they instead just stayed in place, occasionally tilting their head to look around.

"It's like Iron Will always says," he continued, his voice rising in volume. "'If you want the ladies to check you out, all you need to do is flex and shout!'" To show he meant business during his rant Iron Will leaned over to get closer to Jon.

"Ok I'm going to stop you right there," Jon said, still reeling from being yelled at. "If you're thing is rhyming I should warn you we already had a guest who did that. A young lady by the name of Zecora and she's waaaay better than you."

"No need to worry Jon!" Iron will said too much enthusiasm. "Iron Will's words of wisdom are but a smaaaall part of Iron Will's program!"

"Speaking of your program," Jon said making a gesture with his hands on the desk. "It, it involves...it's where you go from...uh, town to town advertising your services, correct?"

"That's right!" Iron will said, pointing at Jon with both hands. "Looking for something to fill the void in your otherwise dull, dull lives? If so come look me up! Or as it says on some of my leaflets: ‘Looking for a thrill? Come and learn from Iron Will!'"

For reasons that escaped Jon the audience began to cheer at Iron Will, almost as if they were trying to match his own level of intensity.

"Could you explain what exactly it is you teach in these different towns?" Jon asked. "What do you-- what exactly does your program entail?"

"Well Jon my program, which I advise you all look into, are lessons on how to be the very best 'you' you can be!" He said, addressing more the audience than Jon. "For years I've been going place to place all over Equestria teaching ponies the skills needed to more assertive, through workshops and day to day lessons."

To emphasize his point he flexed at the audience, earning him frightened looks.

"Do you teach them through common household chores, Mr. Miyagi style?" Jon asked now throwing is hands up in a comedic stance. "Are you out there just going lik; 'Pony-san, paint the fence?'"

"Well I don't know who this Miyagi is but we aint having them paint no fence." Iron Will answered. "When I'm up there my goal is to get them to be true alpha males...you know to be more like me."

"And when you say more like you," Jon said hesitantly. "I'm guessing you mean--"

"I mean more like this!" Iron Will said now standing up and looking straight ahead. "HEY CAMERA GUY, GET A CLOSE UP OF ME RIGHT NOW OR ELSE YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF IN A WORLD OF PAAAAAAIN!"

Immediately the cameraman who was the closest made the necessary adjustments needed to zoom in on Iron Will, giving him exactly what he demanded. He would have ordered a close up that got his good side but he felt it wasn't necessary; since to him every side of him was his 'good side.'

"Now then...since I have your attention I would like to briefly talk to the audience, if I may. I'm going to list a few key words and I want you all to raise your hand if any of them accurately describes you." Iron Will continued, stopping to clear his throat. "Weak, pushover, cowardly, frail, powerless, flimsy...now if any of you raised your hands at any point then I suggest you enroll in one of my 'POWER CLASSES'...patent pending...where I will teach you the secret techniques to stop being a loser and start being a bruiser!"

"How...interesting," Jon said from off camera. "Hey can I--"

"For example! In one of my 'Power Classes' you get to learn you're ABC's!" Iron Will interrupted. "But these aren't your Grandma's alphabets OH NO! With Iron Will you'll learn how to be Aggressive, Bold, and Confident."

Standing up Iron Will took a step forward in the direction of the audience.

"And that is Iron Will's ABC's!" He added. "Common folks! Say it with me! Aggressive, Bold and Confident!"

In an act of showmanship Iron leaned forward and placed his open hand behind his ear so he could hear the audience better. When no one responded he began to flare his nostrils in anger.

"I said...SAY IT WITH ME!" He yelled in a way so everyone could hear him.

"Aggressive, bold, and confident!" The audience yelled back in almost perfect unison.

Satisfied by their participation Iron Will sat back down and the show went back it its original wide angle view to get both the quest and host in the same shot. To try and make light of the situation Jon was hiding under his desk, intimately peaking up to see if it was a safe like a groundhog checking its shadow.

The crowd found it humorous but Jon's now aching back told him it was a bad idea.

"Is it over?" Jon asked after sitting back down.

"And that is just lesson one of my assertiveness class," Iron will continued. "In lesson two I really delve into the idea of--"

"Alright, alright we get the idea!" Jon insisted as he lunged over like he was trying to grab any more words from escaping his guest's mouth.

"HA! Sorry Jon but Iron Will can't help it!" He confessed as he once again leaned forward to yell in Jon's face. "It's just the way Iron Will is!"

"Ok two things," Jon said waiting a second for the audience to stop chuckling. "One: why do you...feel the need to go around...and,and,and teach people to be more domineering....and two..."

Instead of finishing his thought Jon reached into the inside of his sports jacket, eventually finding what he was looking for in one of his pockets.

"...you need of one these." He added, offering Iron Will some of his breath mints.

For the first time in his life Iron Will felt an audience turn on him; instead of submissive complacency they were now laughing at his expense. It might have been a humbling experience were it not for his massive ego which would not allow it.

After shooting the audience an intimidating look, which did very little in stopping their laughter, Iron Will continued to address his human friend from across the table.

"To answer your first question Jon," He said giving the audience one last look. "The reason why Iron Will does all of this for a living is because the good folks over in Equestria could use a little toughening up...I don't know if you've noticed but the ponies back home...well they're not exactly the rugged type."

"I know exactly what you mean." Jon said nodding in agreement. "I mean all these ponies walking around with their rainbows, heart shapes everywhere...purple hair, and pink bodies...why one could almost get away with saying they're rather...effeminate."

"Tell me Jon!" Iron Will demanded as he slammed both fists on the table. "Do you humans have your own version of wimpy ponies in your world?"

"Yes we do," Jon answered. "They're called the British."

"Hmmm good to know!" Iron Will, thought out loud while the crowd laughed. "But tell me this...are there a group of humans who are...JUST LIKE ME!" To further perpetuate his point he made sure to yell as loudly as he could while showing off a variety of poses.

"...Yeah," Jon said, nodding somewhat dishearteningly. "...Americans."

By just mentioning the country alone the audience began cheering with a few of them trying to initiate a "USA" chant, though it never got past a few people.

"Even...even thought it would seem our two worlds...are similar in many aspects are there--do you find yourself a little out of your element?" Jon asked. "I'm guessing you're more used to talking to ponies instead of--"

"Well...it is very different," Iron Will admitted. "Iron Will has never been in front of a human audience before...nothing in my life has trained me for this which, I suppose, just makes that more impressive that I, Iron Will, am so darn good at it!"

Like a boxer taking a victory swig Iron Will then proceeded to finish off the remaining water from his complimentary "Daily Show" mug.

"How bout you, Jon?" He asked, oddly taking attention away from himself. "Have you ever had to perform outside of what your're used to?"

"You mean have I ever done comedy in front of an audience of ponies?" Jon ascertained.

"Yeah, have you?" Iron Will pressed. "From what I hear you've spent some time in Equestria."

"No I haven't and I don't think I'll be doing that any time soon. I mean I don't...I don't think it'd be very pleasant," Jon continued. "As a comedian I've dealt with hecklers...before in my life...but being heckled by something that can control the weather or casts spells...no thanks."

Both the crowd and Iron Will laughed at Jon's whimsical assertions, which gave him just enough time to think of a new joke to try out.

"Although now that I think about it this makes for some pretty good material." He added. Before continuing he changed his voice to that of a bad Russian accent to try and imitate Yakov Smirnoff. "In America you throw rotten tomatoes at comic...but in Equestria they use magic to turn you into rotten tomato!"

Even though the cultural references we're lost on him, Iron Will still found himself laughing at Jon's comical impressions.

"Well I'll tell you this, brother!" Iron Will said. "If you do find yourself in front of a pony audience here's my advice...get yourself some goats."

Leaning to the side Jon caught a quick glance at Iron Will's followers who were still standing around, looking in pointless directions.

"Yeeaah well...thanks but again I don't think it'll ever come to that," Jon said offhandedly. "Besides here in the entertainment industry we have our own legion of mindless drones that'll do whatever we say...we call them 'interns.'"

The ones who found the joke the most humorous was the interns themselves since they knew it was true.

"So you...uh, tell how all of this began," Jon said trying to turn the attention back on his guest. "Tell us how you began your career as a motivational speaker...give us your back story."

"Jon...I'm glad you asked that," Iron Will said with a devious smile. "Because you and anypony else can now know everything there is to know about Iron Will by simply purchasing my new 'tell-all' book!"

Signaling for assistance my snapping his fingers caused one of this decked out goats to hand him a hefty book which he promptly slammed on the table, almost causing Jon's mug of water to spill over.

"Right here is Iron Will's first official published book entitled 'Putting your hoof down: How Iron Will used intimidation as motivation,'" he continued. "In this book you the consumer will have the chance to learn my techniques on life while at the same time getting to know a little about yours truly and how Iron Will got to where he is today! Go ahead Jon give it a look."

Jon wasn't at all eager to pick it up. Not because he had any qualms about its content but because there was a thin layer of drool on the spine from where the goat assistant had passed it via its mouth.

"This is...impressive." Jon said, hesitantly picking up the large book. "So...so,so,so is it more of a book biography or a kind of self-help book?"

"It's both if ya think about it! In this book Iron Will uses examples from Iron Will's life to show how even the wimpiest of ponies can be strong and fearless!" He answered. "For example, in chapter three Iron Will tells the readers tips on how to not get pushed around by strangers in public...for example...let's say somepony bumps into you and doesn't say 'excuse me'...what do you do?"

"Well..." Jon said taking a moment to think. "Since it was an accident I'd probably just let them go about their business but if it was intentional I'd use my words and calmly explain to them how--

"WRONG ANSWER...words are for nerds!" Iron Will yelled. "When someone bumps into you then you get in their face and bump them right back! Iron Will tip number 57: "If somepony tries to push you around, grab them back and knock em to the ground!"

Never before had Jon hoped that his kids weren't watching his show.

"Another example!" Iron Will continued. "Let's say somepony is standing in the middle of the hallway and refuses to let you pass. What do you do?"

"I'm guessing the answer isn't to walk around him?" Jon asked.

"Tip number 45," Iron Will said. "Get out of my way or I'll make you pay!"

During his explanation Jon was multitasking by skimming the pages of his book till he came upon a chapter that caught his attention.

"Soooo about this section," Jon said, pointing to page in the book. "This chapter is called 'Origin story,' what's that about?"

"Oh that? That's just the story of how Iron Will first discovered who Iron Will was meant to be." He answered looking somewhat nostalgic. "You see it all started back when I was in school...it was in the first grade and I just finished taking a math test. When I went to have my teacher grade it she gave me an 'F.' When I asked to her to let me retake it she said 'no' but that didn't stop me...Iron Will remembers it clear as day. Iron Will looked her in the eyes and said, 'Give me a bad score, this means war!' And ever since then I've devoted my life to helping others."

As much as Jon would have loved to pick his story apart bit by bit he felt it would have been in poor taste. That and the interview was almost over.

"That...was a very touching story." Jon said in an unconvincing tone. "Thank you for sharing with us."

"No problem little man!" Iron Will said. "But Iron Will's career hasn't been all success and fortune...there have been some hard times as well."

"Is that-- what kinds of hardships did you face?" Jon asked.

"Well for example Iron Will's very first official performance didn't turn out so well." He admitted.

"Why? What, uh, what happened?" Jon asked.

"Well this is what happened...Iron Will had finally gotten permission to set up his stage in the park of this one town." He explained. "It was to be Iron Will's first time addressing the masses. Everything from the lighting to the pyrotechnics was in place and Iron Will even had some posters for the goats to put all around town...but when the time came for Iron Will to do his thing--"

"Let me guess," Jon interrupted, "Low audience turn-out?"

"Worse actually," Iron Will corrected. "Nopony showed up."

Iron Will chuckled at his own past misfortunes which made Jon feel better for laughing so hard at his story.

"Wh-wh-what happened!?" Jon asked. "I mean...uh, uh, how--"

"Well remember when Iron Will said the goats were in charge of putting posters all around town? That was the first mistake." He explained. "Turns out while I wasn't looking they ate them all."

At that point Jon had just calmed down from his last onslaught of laughter when another one came causing the host to spin to the side of his desk to laugh to himself.

"And that...is when Iron Will learned to never have the goats do anything that requires average level intelligence." He said causing his coats to slump their head in shame. Once Jon had regained his composure he was right back to asking questions.

"So...so I noticed...I noticed that you uh, you said you needed permission before you had the chance-- before you could do your performance." Jon ventured. "Who did you need permission from? Was it like...you had some legal issues or, or, or, like what was it?"

"Oh no you see for Iron Will to perform in a town he first needs to either get permission from city hall or a special kind of license that allows for a stage." Iron Will explained. "Some towns are harder to get into than others but for the most part they don't like Iron Will's style of performance...something bout being too loud and disturbing the peace or something."

"Yeah I can see where they're coming from." Jon said with a straight face. "Seriously the last time you addressed my audience I think a car alarm or two went off."

In Jon's experience setting up a joke that involved the crowd was a quick and easy way of getting some laughs and this time was no different.

"Now I've come to learn that you've also spent time in Ponyville," Jon contained. "I've uh, actually been there a few times myself, lively place great uh, great people...but did you, uh did you have any problems performing their or like…was getting a zoning permit just as bad as other places?"

"Not all at all, Jon." Iron Will said rather proudly. "Getting into Ponyville was a piece of cake! Iron Will didn't even need to sign papers or nothing?"

"Is that so?" Jon asked.

"You betcha," Iron Will added. "And it's all cause Mayor Mare...she handled all the technical stuff and told Iron Will to set up wherever he wanted."

"Oh wow how nice?" Jon said. "Why did she go to such great lengths to have you?"

"Oh don't you know? Iron Will and Mayor Mare are good friends...we go waaaay back." He explained. "When Iron Will was younger he attended school to learn the art of talking in front of a crowd. At one point Iron Will took a public speaking class and that's where Iron Will met Mayor Mare...she was studying to be a politician and we really hit it off...so when she found out that Iron Will was trying to set up a show in her town she was more than happy to accommodate...afterwards we even met up to talk about the good ole' days."

"Oh well congratulations," Jon conveyed by doing a slow applause. "You know I had her on the show before and she was just...a delight to have."

"Iron Will saw that interview actually," he confessed. "Iron Will remembers thinking at the time how much good if would do for me if Iron Will got to be on your show too...I mean if she can hijack your show why can't Iron Will!?

"Oh I...uh I see?" Jon said as he thought back on how she indeed turned the interview into her own personal ad campaign at one point. "I would...I would love to hear more about how you two were friends."

"Well actually you can!" Iron Will exclaimed as he pointed to his own book. "All you need to do is go to fifty four where Iron Will talks about his life in school!"

Taking his suggestion seriously Jon turned to where the chapter would have been only to quickly double take back and forth between pages. His look on concussion caught Iron Will's attention.

"Something the matter?" He asked.

"Yeeeaaah there is," Jon answered as he continued to shuffle through page after page. "You seem to be missing some pages."

"WHAT!?" Iron Will screamed as he ripped the book from Jon's hands.

After looking at it intensely he made a shocking discovery.

"What a minute," He said. "Are these...bite marks?"

Turning around he looked at his goats who said nothing and gawked blankly. Iron Will didn't back down but instead narrowed his vision to a grey goat who was trying to look away. After a lengthy and uncomfortable silence the goat in question burped.

"NOT AGAIN!" Iron will screamed

Everyone in attendance began to laugh, even Jon who finished much sooner than they did. To keep things going he called out for Iron Will to sit back down so they could finish.

"Iron Will it's been great having you here today!" He yelled over the crowd, standing up to gesture for a handshake. "Thank you very much for being here and sharing with us your life experiences."

"Hey no problem!" Iron Will responded while still keeping a watchful eye on his goat assistant.

"And I think if we've learned anything here today it's this," Jon summed up. "If you scream loud enough you can have whatever you want."

"Now you're getting it!" He said as he shook Jon's hand.

"Again thanks for being here," Jon added. "The book is 'Putting your hoof down: How Iron Will used intimidation as motivation,' it's on the bookshelves now. Iron Will everyone; we'll be right back!"

The crowd stood and cheered as Jon leaned in to whisper something in Iron Will's ear. The camera panned away at an average speed to get a final shot of the stage where Iron Will was now striking some more poses, with Jon clumsily imitating for comedic effect. Soon the 'Daily Show' logo appeared on the screen for those watching at home and disappeared with the cheering of the crowd fading in favor of another commercial break.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: A night on the town

Historically speaking November and December were a very busy time for Jon Stewart. This year brought another election season and with it a slew of stories to cover, pundits to make fun of, and the Photoshopping of politicians on underwear models. Standard affair for the Daily Show just at a much more intense level.

But now Jon was granted an entire week away from work for the holidays; away from the social constraints of his Job and fully free to do whatever he wanted.

But for all the social interaction and gallivanting that were available to him he still opted to stay in for the most part. And with the passing of Thanksgiving the extended family that he had avoided all year long were now back in their own little corners of the world.

In addition he didn't have to think about work (least for another couple of days) so he promised himself he wouldn't call Celestia to set up any interview slots.

No, right now all he wanted to was stay indoors and spend time with his family, which he was doing almost excessively.

It was on this Saturday night that Jon reflected on how tranquil his life was as of late. The entire Stewart family had congregated to the living room where he and his wife were sitting on the cough side by side with a cup of tea in his right hand and his left arm around Tracey's shoulder. They had bundled themselves up in a large blanket and were content in just sitting quietly enjoying each other’s company

His two children on the other hand were instead rolling around on the floor, playing happily with Trixie. Nathan had brought out his Lego set and challenged his sister and babysitter to see who could build a skyscraper the fastest. He was confident that he we would win since Maggie was younger than him and Trixie (lacking in any fingers) wouldn't have the dexterity needed to even get started. In the end he still came in third place.

"Yay!" Maggie said, throwing her hands in the air. "I win!"

"So...what shall we play next?" Trixie asked as she used her magic to neatly set their Lego creations aside.

"OH OH I KNOW!" Nathan announced. "Pony tipping! Pony tipping!"

"Yeah me too!" Maggie chimed in. "Pony tipping! Pony tipping!"

Trixie's once gentle smile disappeared as she took a breath and exhaled a tired sigh of dread.

"Now kids are you sure there isn't something else you want to play?" She suggested in the hopes that they'd change their minds. "I mean wouldn't you rather play a nice game of--"

"NO!" Maggie shouted for all to hear. "We want Pony tipping! Pony tipping! Pony tipping!"

The two kids continued their chant with Jon stealthily waiting for an opening to help settle matters.

"Do I get a vote?" Jon asked, raising his hand. "I vote pony tipping...pony tipping, pony tipping!"

Tracey found it funny that her family was so willing to give Trixie a hard time. She laughed which caused the wayward pony to look in her direction.

"Tracey could you please talk some sense into these three?" She asked motioning to her husband and kids.

"Alright guys enough with the teasing," She said, much to Trixie's delight. "You three are being immature, and mean, and pony tipping, pony tipping!"

At a four to one standoff Trixie gave up whatever sense of dignity she had left. The family's chanting soon turned to cheers as she lightly strolled over to the center of the room to prepare herself. Standing ramrod stiff and on all four hooves she locked her knees in place and straightened her body out.

Seeing this caused both kids to hastily run up to her, almost tripping in the process. Nathan was the first to reach her and such got the first round. He carefully placed both his hands flat on the side of her stomach and gently pushed her forward causing to her fall on her side with a grunting noise.

Seeing her fall over and hearing her squawk as she made contact with the floor caused both of them to enter a state of frantic giggles. Maggie decided it was now her turn so with all her strength she lifted Trixie's dead weight body back into a standing position only to push her back down. Then it was Nathan's turn again.

This pattern repeated a few more times, much to their enjoyment, as the two parents watched.

Jon took a deep relaxing sigh; he was in such a state of zen that he momentarily forgot where he was. He listened to the beauty that was the sound of his children laughing and he could feel the warmth of his beloved wife under his arm. Pulling her even closer he took a sip of his tea and watched as his kids continued to play with Trixie.

Life was good.

Jon wasn't the only one who seemed to be in a state of relaxed euphoria. His wife Tracey was also enjoying the tranquility that was her time alone with her family which, to her, also included Trixie. She watched as her two kids played with the blue unicorn and laughed at their carefree antics.

Had this been about a a weeks ago she would have felt uneasy about the three of them being so close since for all of her good qualities she was still a potentially dangerous creature. But nowadays Tracey found herself quite enamored with Trixie, mostly because she showed nothing but love and respect for the rest of the family. Though she still acted somewhat coldly towards Jon when she could.

But her very presence also served as a poignant reminder of how she used to treat her poorly when they first met. To that end she tried her best to make her feel more at home by buying her accessories for her room, engaging her in friendly conversations, and allowing her access to the dinner table. She even permitted more liberal use of her magic around the house, though she was still required to wear a safety cork on her horn.

Feeling placid she slumped her head against her husband's shoulder and closed her eyes. Jon did the same but soon the sound of laughter caused the both of them to look onward, their seemingly detached state all at once broken.

During their play session Maggie took the opportunity to rough house a bit by jumping at Trixie like she was trying to tackle her. The plan backfired however since she ended up just sitting atop her like she was a mounted horse. This minor setback didn't deter her from having fun.

"Giddy up!" She demanded. With a smile and tired sigh Trixie began to gallop around the room.

Tracey saw this and felt her maternal instincts kick in.

"Maggie honey, get off of Trixie!" She said. "You'll hurt her!" Her being more concerned with Trixie's safety than her own daughter's was proof enough that Tracey had accepted Trixie as a member of the family.

"No need to worry, Tracey," Trixie demonstrated by strutting around with very little effort. "As you can see young Maggie here is very light in weight and the perfect size for a good ol' fashion 'ponyback ride.'"

She continued to trot around with Maggie wrapping her arms around Trixie's neck, both for balance and as a loving embrace. In truth Trixie struggled slightly to hold her up though she would never admit it.

Nathan saw this and felt jealous; he wanted in.

"ME NEXT, ME NEXT!" He shouted!

To save Trixie the time and effort of explaining to him Jon decided to step in and play the bad guy for the moment.

"Yeah I don't think that's a very good idea, Nate." Jon said as he put a hand on his shoulder. "Your sister is small enough to do that but I think you might break poor Trixie's back."

Jon wasn't too far off in his assumptions. Both Stewart children were around Trixie's height with Maggie being slightly shorter and Nathan slightly taller. Though since he was older he weighed a bit more, something which Jon decided to tease him a bit for.

"Maybe if you didn't eat so much chocolate it'd be a different story," He added.

"HEY!" Nathan exclaimed getting a few laughs at his expense. To help him feel more at ease Trixie approached him and give him a gentle stroke of his already messy hair.

A silence fell on the living room and was soon broken by the two children.

"Let's watch a movie!" Nathan said now having forgotten about his being denied a ride.

"Yeah let's watch a movie, Daddy!" Maggie yelled in agreement. Getting up Jon stretched his back and ran a hand through his greying hair.

"Yeah, sure why not!" Jon said. "It's been awhile since we've had the whole family sit down for a movie night."

"Movie huh?" Trixie said looking somewhat confused.

"Please tell me you know what that is," Jon said with judging eyes. "I mean I know your world basically takes place in the middle-ages but you guys must have some form of cinema." Flipping her hair back Trixie answered in her usual smug tone.

"Of course we do, Stewart!" She said. "I was just taken aback is all...I've been all over your house and I have yet to see a film projector."

It was now Nathan and Maggie who had confused looks on their face with, Jon laughing to himself and shaking his head.

"Oh Trixie...oh sweet, naive, Trixie,“ He said as he walked over to the flat screen on the wall. "We have so much to teach you."

The annoyed looking Unicorn watched as Jon picked up a random DVD case from the wide selection on the wall. Opening it he pulled out a round flat disc which briefly reflected a ray of light in her face.

"Welcome to the 21st century." Jon added.

Carefully approaching Trixie tilted her head as she examined the shiny object before her.

"What is this thing?" She asked.

Before answering her question he placed his hand on the nearby Blu-Ray player.

"Ok first of all this is called a 'DVD player'...you see in our world this acts as our version of a film projector." Jon explained.

Trixie seemed stunned by this new information. The slender black box was about one fourth the size of the best model projector that she had ever seen.

"And this," he said dangling the disc over her head. "Is what we use instead of a film reel." Trixie looked as if she had just witnessed an explosion. This new world did indeed of have unique mechanics that were beyond her understanding but this seemed almost an impossible concept to her.

"Geez you're worse than my mother!" Jon laughed, causing his children to do the same. Even thought it was all in good jest Trixie didn't enjoy being teased.

"HMPH! Well you all go ahead and enjoy your movie." Trixie said as she made her way to the stairs. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has better things to do."

She slowly made her way to the stairs only to stop once the children cried out to her.

"Awwww you're not staying!?" Maggie whined.

"Sorry hon but no," Trixie answered. "I promised myself I'd spend the night in my room practicing some spells...If I don't keep off the horn rust nopony else will."

"But you gotta stay!" Maggie added.

"That's right!" Nathan said, backing up his sister. Trixie did a quick 180 to address the children, but before she could say anything Tracey weighed in on her departure.

"Come now Trixie stay in tonight," she said patting the seat next to her on the couch with her hand. "It's movie night...the entire family has to be present for movie night."

Like before Trixie was all ready to defend her decision to stay in for the night when something Tracey said caught her off guard.

"You...you consider me part of the family?" Trixie asked in a soft but clear tone.

"Of course I do, Trixie." She answered. "You're like the sister I never had."

Her words were sincere enough for Trixie to momentarily change her plans but she tried her best to hold back any emotions, like she was playing an intense game of poker. This was the first time in her life that she was part of a family and she loved the feelings; so much so that she didn't correct Tracey by stating that her name was "the Great and Powerful Trixie." She found the title of "Trixie Stewart" to be much more appealing.

"You know...on second thought perhaps Trixie can stay for just a little while," she said, getting cheers of joy from the two children. "I'll just practice my magic afterwards."

She trotted over back in place with Jon trying to wrangle his kids back in a single location and Tracey standing up to make an announcement

"All right gang it's time to pick what movie we're going to watch," she said getting everyone's attention. Upon making her declaration she got conflicting answers from bother her kids; after giving them the signal to quiet down she continued. "Since this is Trixie's first time joining us I suggest she get to choose what we watch."

Everyone agreed though in actual practice it was a difficult decision for Trixie to make. Having never in her life seen any of the DVDs on display her decision ultimately came down to a random selection, with the only thing resembling a conscious decision being which cover art appealed to her more.

While she sat and pondered in front of the display rack next to the TV both Nathan and Maggie joined her to give their opinions on what to choose.

"PICK THAT ONE!" Nathan said pointing to a DVD towards the top of structure.

"NO! PICK THAT ONE!" Maggie countered by pointing to one at the bottom. Ignoring both of them Trixie instead selected one from the center, right in the center of her field of vision.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie chooses...this one!" She said as she used to magic to whisk away the DVD in the air for all to see. From where Jon was standing he could just barely make out the image on the case but he knew all too well what it was.

The image was that of a large hairy best dancing in a ballroom with a woman in a yellow dress; Trixie had selected "Beauty and the Beast," a fan favorite of the Stewart household. As luck would have it everyone was satisfied with her choice.

While everyone got into position Jon popped the disc into the DVD tray and made the necessary adjustments to the TV to get things started. He promptly joined his wife back on the couch and sighed a hefty sigh of relief.

It was going to be a good day.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Let's paint the town red

Whenever the chance presented itself Jon liked to have a movie night with the entire family. In jest he would say he did so because it was the only activity where his two children would actually sit still and be quiet for an extended period of time. While there was some truth in that he mainly just found himself enjoying spending time with those he loved most.

The entire Stewart family, which now included Trixie, spent the next hour and a half watching their desired movie. Both Jon and Tracey continued to sit on the couch while the kids were on the floor, laying on their stomachs liked beached walruses to get a better look.

Surprisingly though Trixie herself didn't sit with the children but instead was sitting on the couch next to Tracey at her behest.

The kids' eyes were glued to the television, watching intently as they always did, but for the adults present in the room this was just a relaxing break from the day to day workload. This didn't stop them however from laughing every now and again at the silly antics of the Lumiere and Cogsworth, or admiring the choreographing of some of the song and dance scenes.

At one point during the movie Trixie herself marveled at the cinematics that was the household characters singing and dancing to the song "Be our guest." She even scoffed at the idea of common house hold items being able to talk; unaware of the irony that was her own anthropomorphism.

For Trixie this wasn't just some mere spur of the moment get together. It meant so much more since at that moment she felt more accepted within the family than ever before. Growing up in the orphanage she dreamed of moments like this, moments where a she would finally enjoy the serenity that was just being together with people as a family, in a place she could call home.

She never dreamed it would be with people of a different species or even in another world entirely but she didn't care. For the first time in years she felt genuinely happy. And she wasn't the only one pleased by this arrangement.

Tracey was very glad that Trixie decided to join; her admiration for the helpful Unicorn grew each day. At regular intervals during the movie she would show her love by reaching over with her right hand and betting Trixie's mane, sometimes even scratching her behind her ear. A leftover reflex from when she owned a dog.

Whenever this happened Trixie's baser animal instincts would kick. Ordinarily she would've disapproved about being touched in such a way since she had a pet peeve of being handled, but in this case she didn't mind. In fact if anything she enjoyed it as evident by her tail wagging whenever it happened.

While on the other side of things, Jon was just happy to be spending time with those he loved, especially since his one week vacation was coming to a close and soon he would have to go back to work. But he didn't want to think about that, all he wanted was to spend time with his wife, kids and good Unicorn friend.

He glanced over at Trixie who looked to be enjoying herself immensely. Her presence, while very much welcomed, served as a reminder that he might want to consider making the first guest to appear on his show, upon his return, an Equestrian. Another thing he didn't want to think about.

To distract himself he looked forward back at the television set just in time to see the portion of the film where Belle and the Beast shared a lovely dinner which lead up the famous dance sequence that usually found its way on the front of display cases and in commercials. It was a lovely scene that still to this day touched audiences worldwide but for Jon it gave him and idea, and idea he chose to unveil later in the evening.

Once the movie ended the once quiet kids predictably turned their attention to Trixie to ask her a slew of questions.

"What part was your favorite!?"

"Is this your first time watching a movie!?"

"Who was your favorite person!?"

"Can we watch it again!?"

One by one the kids asked her questions faster than she could answer. Taking advantage of their distraction Tracey got up and made her way towards the kitchen.

"Alright guys I'm going to get dinner started so go wash up," she said. "It'll be ready in about thirty minutes." Had this been any other night Jon would have left her to cook and his kids in the hands of Trixie while he went upstairs to do some work...but this wasn't any other night.

"Actually Tracey," Jon called out as he made his way up to her. "I've been thinking...why don't we go out for dinner...just you and me?" Stopping in her tracks Tracey looked at Jon like he had just asked her a question in a foreign language.

"Wait...Wh-- Excuse me?" She said sounding very unsure of what she had heard.

"You heard me...dinner." Jon repeated. "Just the two of us...it's been years since we both enjoyed a night on the town, I say why not. It'll be fun."

Admittedly the idea sounded appealing to her. Ever since they started having kids Jon and Tracey haven't had much quality time with just each other. Between work and parenting their social lives were almost nonexistent.

"Well I...Jon, we...we can't do that," she said dishearteningly. "It's a nice thought but...but I mean who's going to watch the k--" Tracey stopped mid-sentence as a realization took over. There still sitting on the couch was Jon's ace the hole; Trixie. Looking back at her husband Tracey saw a quirky smile appear on his face. One of the main advantages of having her around was that she could act as a babysitter, something which Tracey had momentarily forgotten.

"O-oh...OH!" Tracey exclaimed, feeling slightly on the spot. "Oh we couldn't ask her to do that...a-and on such short notice I don't think she'll--"

"Excuse me. I can hear you, you know?" Trixie interrupted as she pointed to her ears. "And for what it's worth I'd be more than willing to look after the kids tonight." Side stepping her husband, Tracey made her way to Trixie who had now leapt onto the floor to be closer to the two kids.

"Are you sure, Trixie?" Tracey asked. "It doesn't seem right asking you like this...especially since you had plans this evening."

"Trust me when I say I can handle things here while you're away," Trixie assured. "You've been working very hard lately, and you do so much for us...you deserve a night off."

Tracey was touched by her words of appreciation. Convinced that she wouldn't change her mind Tracey decided to ask Trixie one last time just.

"Are you sure?" Tracey asked, glancing over at her two children who were pretending not to eavesdrop. "I wouldn't want to-- I mean you did say you wanted to spend the rest of the night studying your magic."

"Positive. While you two are getting ready I'll get dinner started." Trixie answered as she changed the style in her voice to that of her normal tone. "Besides the Great and Powerful Trixie does not need to practice her magic...she already is the most powerful unicorn ever!"

Overwhelmed by Trixie's generous offer Tracey got down on her knees to give the kind hearted Unicorn a loving, if gentle, hug.

"Thank you Trixie," She said holding her close. "You are such a dear you could pass for Bambi's mother."

"...Who?" Trixie asked.

Her perfectly innocent question was met by disbelieving faces. Even Tracey herself jolted herself back to get a look at her face and see if she was kidding...she of course was not.

"Well, I know what we're watching for our next movie night" Jon said breaking the silence. "Common Trace let's get ready." After giving her a helping hand up the two made their way to the stairs. Trixie stayed behind to brief the kids on the situation.

"Oh this is so exciting!" Tracey said in giddy tone. "What should I wear?"

"This is a very special night honey," Jon said as the two made their way up stairs. "I'm going to set us up with a reservation at the best restaurant in the city so dress your best...I'm talking like Emmy awards show best."

"Oh I can't believe we're actually doing this!" She said as she checked the time on her wrist watch. "It's been years since we've gone anywhere without the kids."

"Well tonight, baby you've earned it," he said. The two reached the top the stairs where they stole a quick kiss before separating to different rooms. "You go get dressed; I'll let the restaurant know we're on the way." Still overpowered by anticipation Tracey raced down the hallway while Jon retreated to the comfort of his study to get changed and make the phone calls necessary for a reservation.

An hour had almost passed and everyone was ready to go except for one holdout. The person who orchestrated the evening's agenda, Jon himself, was still up in his study. To investigate why this was Trixie, as instructed by Tracey, went upstairs to see how he was doing.

She was a few feet away from Jon's study when a faint voice called out.

"Come in." Jon said preemptively granting her permission to enter even though she never knocked or asked in advance. Jon could always tell when Trixie was around the corner, the fact that she walked on four legs meant she gave off very distinctive footsteps.

Trixie entered to see a very elegant looking Jon Stewart. He was wearing a tuxedo and his hair, though not quite as good as on TV, was neatly done. This contrasted heavily which how he was positioned on his desk. He was slumped over his hands pressed up against his forehead with his fingers combing through his grey hair. Instead of enthusiasm, anguish seemed to leak out of every pore of his body.

He dressed like a million bucks but his face gave the impression that he had just lost all his money.

"Stewart?" Trixie said. "Is something the matter?"

"Yeah you could say that," Jon said with a heavy sigh. "The restaurants booked."

"Excuse me?" She said, rounding Jon's desk to be by his side.

"The restaurant I wanted to take Tracey to has a wait-list that's completely filled up," he answered. "They have been for the past month...they won't let us in."

"Oh that's...unfortunate." Trixie said trying and failing to sound understanding. "Well I'm sure there's another restaurant or two that have--"

"I checked," Jon interrupted. "And no...they don't."

Jon went on to explain how all the usual New York hotspots for quality dinner dates were either booked for the next few months or too busy to accommodate for the night.

"Oh poor Tracey...and she was so looking forward to this" Trixie said unintentionally rubbing salt into the wound. "She's down stairs and asked me to come up to see what was going on."

"Aw, she's already dressed up and ready to go?" Jon asked getting a quick nod of the head as an answer. "Oh please tell me she looks like a big pile of crap right now."

"Actually she's wearing her good jewelry, ruby red lipstick, and a flowing black dress." Trixie answered painting a picture of a lovely looking Tracey. "She looks quite beautiful."

"Dammit!" he said. "She's going to be so disappointed."

The two said nothing afterwards. Jon just sat in his chair thinking of what his next move would be while Trixie stood by awkwardly now knowing what to say. Though she seemed aloof she did want desperately to help Jon, but when it came to relationship advice she knew almost nothing.

She was just about to head down stairs and stall for time by telling Tracey some white lie when an idea came to mind. It was a long shot but it was the only idea she had that was worthwhile.

"You know Stewart, I'm sure a human such as yourself has a multitude of connections." Trixie said. "Connections that could get you into any restaurant you'd like."

"Trixie I'm a comedian not a politician, I don't think having Jim Carry in my Rolodex is going to get me into the 'Capsouto Frères' any time soon." Jon said. "I'm just going to have to tell Tracey that tonight's plans are off...but thanks anyway."

Rather than explaining her plan Trixie proceeded to rummage through one of Jon's desk drawers, again without permission. She buried her head inside and eventually returned with what she needed to get her point across.

"Look Stewart it's none of my business but if I we're you I might want to rethink that for a second." She said sliding him a few pieces of loose paper.

Jon looked down at what Trixie had passed to him. It was his list of pony names that he received from Celestia months ago, some of the names were crossed out while others had footnotes to the side of them. All at once the wheels in Jon's head began to turn as he suddenly realized what Trixie was trying to tell him.

"Ooooh...that! I see what you're saying!" Jon said. He grabbed the papers hastily as if they were about to fly away "...That's good...that's really good...Trixie you're a--"

"Genius?" Trixie guessed as she nonchalantly admired her hoof. "Of course I am."

As if his body was on autopilot Jon reached for the black phone that was located at the edge of his desk and began to dial a series of numbers that only he knew. Trixie, not wanting her cover to be blown, stayed quite but also stayed within close proximity to hear the impending conversation.

This was Jon's last hope.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Welcome to Equestria Ms. McShane

Jon could hear the phone ringing from the other end and never before had Jon hoped that the person he was trying to contact would answer. He was nervous that perhaps what he would request would fall on deaf ears even though history had shown that the person he was calling was very reliable.

A voice did eventually answer and as it did Jon gave a signal to Trixie to not make a noise.

"Hello again Jon," Princess Celestia said sounding surprised to hear from him. "My, I would think you'd be spending time with your family right now. Don't you have a few days still left on your one week vacation?"

Even Celestia's soothing voice did little to help Jon's nervous disposition.

"Yeah uh, hi to you too," Jon said sounding anxious. "And yeah I am buuut I'm calling because I have a request I'd like to submit to you, your Highness." His vain attempt at flattering her was all too noticeable.

"Oh please Jon, don't be so formal," she said with a chuckle. "If you need my help with something all you need to do is ask...Is this about your next guest?"

"Actually no, this time it has nothing to do with work," Jon answered. "I'm calling you today on a more...personal issue, an issue that I desperately need your help with."

"Goodness...well, I understand and am willing to do whatever I can to help," Celestia said reassuringly. "Now then... what is it you'd like to request of me?" Jon thought about how to phrase his next question; he wanted to be sure that it didn't come off as too demanding, this was his last hope to save the night.

"Well before I ask you...uh...remember how you told me I was the first human ever to set foot in Equestria?" Jon asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes I most certainly do." Celestia answered. Before continuing Jon looked over at Trixie who was gently motioning for him to go for it.

"Well if it's alright with you I'd like to add another person to that list." He said. At first there was silence followed by a confused response.

"Excuse me?" Celestia said.

"You see It's like this...I had plans to go out for dinner tonight but all the good places are backed up for months." Jon explained.

"And you want to bring a guest over to Equestria in the hopes of continuing your dinner plans?" Celestia surmised

"Yeah that's just about the size of it." He said.

"Jon...you know how I feel about beings from other worlds coming to Equestria." She said in a serious tone that got Jon feeling less confident about his plan. When they first met one of the only guidelines she set for making deals with Jon was that while he could come to Equestria whenever he pleased he was not allowed to bring anyone with him.

She had nothing against humans but from what she understood the human race had a nasty little habit of invading new territory whenever they had the chance. But she trusted Jon...she could sense the purity of his heart. Which meant that her rejection of his request would be all the more difficult to do.

"I'm terribly sorry," Celestia continued, "But I'm afraid I'm going to have to say--"

"Wait! Before you say anything let me just say that if you did do this for me I'd do anything to make it up to you!" He interrupted. "It's just...I promised Tracey we'd go out tonight and I'd really hate to--"

"Wait! Tracey!?" She exclaimed. "The person you want to bring over here is your wife?"

"Oh uh, yes, yes it is," he answered. "We're planning a date night."

"Goodness Jon why didn't you say so sooner!" She exclaimed in an excited tone. "It would be an absolute delight to have Tracey as our esteemed guest for the evening."

"Wow really!" Jon said as a new wave of hope filled his being.

"Of course!" She said. "I'll make the necessary arrangements at a local Canterlot establishment; all you need to do is show up and I'll handle the rest."

"That's great! You’re the best Celestia!" He said. "How can I ever make this up to you?"

"Weeell," She said in a sly voice. "I do believe you said you'd do anything if I granted you this favor."

"Yes...I did say that." Jon said sounding concerned.

"Well I'm going to take you up on that offer." She said.

"And...what is it that you want me to do?" He asked.

"You'll see." Celestia chimed. "In the mean time I'll make reservations for two at a local Chateau called 'the Alimentaire Cheval,' call me again when you're ready to head out and I'll transport you safety to your desired location."

"Alright...and again I can't thank you enough." Jon said. "I'll call you soon, I just need to tell Tracey about the slight change in plans."

The sound of Celestia ending the phone call caused Jon to sigh a deep sigh. Relieved that he got this far Jon stood up and did a victory arm thrust.

"Sounds like it went better than expected." Trixie commented.

"No kidding...but now here comes the hard part" Jon said. "Convincing Celestia to let us go is one thing...but now I just have to convince--"

Before he could finish the door to his study slowly opened, giving a very loud creaking noise in the process. On the other end was Tracey who, as Trixie so accurately described, looked beautiful.

"Tracey." He said as he finally hung up the phone.

"Jon honey, is everything alright?" She said as she passed the threshold. "You've been up here for quite some time."

"Oh no nothing's wrong," he said. "I uh...I was just preparing for our date is all."

"That's great," She said with a smile. "Did you get us a reservation?" Jon looked over at Trixie who laughed slightly and made her way to the door.

"I'll leave this to you Stewart," Trixie said. "If you two love birds need me I'll be downstairs."

Watching her leave Trixie noticed a whimsical look about her which contrasted neatly with with Jon's nervous face.

"Honey what's going on?" She said turning to Jon.

"Nothing's wrong sweety," He insisted. "As a matter of fact everything is better than expected. I just got off the phone with a friend who can set us up with a table for two at a really high end joint."

Tracey was somewhat skeptical of Jon's claims since she could tell when he was lying, or in this case not telling the entire story. But his claims that the evening was still going to happen made her forget all that.

"Really?" She said sounding surprised.

"Of course baby," Jon continued. "It's called the...uh, the 'Alimentaire Cheval.'"

"Hmmm...can't say I've ever heard of it." She said rubbing her chin. "Is it any good?"

"Oh yeah," He said in an unsure tone. "...it's out of this world."

The night had barely started and already Jon was held up in his study a lot longer than he had anticipated. At first it was because he was trying to get Celestia let him bring his wife over for dinner and now it was time spent trying to get her to actually go through with it. Despite her willingness to go out on the town she thought the furthest they'd travel was the upper west side, not to a completely other universe.

It took some time but he finally managed to convince her to go. He had some help in the form of Trixie assuring that the restaurant in question was most excellent and in a very safe neighborhood; a lie in itself since she had never been but that didn't stop her from helping Jon out.

The three of them were now back in the living room where Jon was saying his temporary farewells to his kids.

"Alright you two; mommy and daddy are going to be gone for a little bit," He said but not before giving them each a kiss on the forehead. "Now while we're away you two be good and do whatever Aunt Trixie says, ok?"

The two children agreed and with that Jon was ready to head out. Tracey however was far from ready, they hadn't even left the house yet and already she was worried. Not about herself but for her kids.

Jon turned around to see his wife talking with Trixie like a highway patrolman who'd just pulled over a drunk driver. She may have regarded this night on out with Jon as mana from heaven but she was still uneasy about leaving her children behind while she was in some other world.

"...Also remember the kids shouldn't be up past ten...actually if you can put them to bed now...no wait they haven't had dinner yet...ok after dinner put them to bed but remember to read them a bed time story first," Tracey said, her words frantic with a hint of authority. "Also remember Nathan gets his allergies from his father so nothing with peanuts in them...oh, and Maggie's stuffed bear is in the dryer right now so if she wants it make sure to wait till it's--"

"Honey it's fine!" Jon said cutting her off midway through her instruction. "Trixie's got everything under control...don't you oh Great one?"

"Indeed I do, you needn't worry about a thing Tracey. Your kids are in good hooves with me" Trixie said. "Now then...out of curiosity does your insurance provider cover accidental magic discharges?" Trixie's harmless joke didn't go over very well with Tracey who just looked horrified. Before she could comment Jon was quick on the damage control.

"Honey she was just kidding," he assured her, as he tugged her inch by inch towards the stairs. "Now come on the Princess is waiting for our confirmation."

"I...well al-alright then I..," She said, before moving she gave her kids one last hug then proceeded head upstairs. "...I suppose we should head out now before I change my mind."

Although Jon was anxious to spend some time with Tracey he also wanted to get a move on because he was looking forward to being back in Equestria. For all the faults and for all the bad experiences he's had thus far he always enjoyed the occasional visit. It was the right balance of peaceful and exciting which made him come back time after time.

Whenever someone asked him what the pony world was like he would say something along the lines of: Equestria is place of such overwhelming diversity and kindness you could sneeze in public and get around ten different variations of the phrase "Bless you."

And now he had the chance to share that same feeling with his wife, so he wanted to leave as soon as possible. Tracey on the other hand was not too eager. She was on the verge of heading up the stairs when her maternal instincts got the better of her. She was barely up three steps when she rushed back over to Trixie.

"Ok just one more thing!" She said which only made Jon more impatient. "The emergency numbers are on the fridge...if you need helping dialing the numbers then ask Nathan for help...also my cellphone number is up there to so if for whatever reason you need to get a hold of me you know what to do...also Maggie will probably say she's old enough to drink some soda but I don't want her to be bouncing off the--"

"Trace we need to go!" Jon urged from the bottom of the staircase. "What's the big deal you've let Trixie watch over the kids before?"

"Yes but I was always at least a room way." She said.

"Well it's either this or we go to McDonalds." Jon joked. It didn't help.

"Jon this is serious," She said. "They're my babies and I just feel like I need to--"

"Tracey, Tracey, you have nothing to be worried about." Trixie said as she placed a single hoof over her mouth. "I assure you I will have full control over the situation while you are away."

"...Are you sure?" Tracey asked in a hush tone.

"Of course I am. Observe." Trixie said in a confident tone. To demonstrate her literal control of the kids Tracey faced them and began to bark orders. "Nathan, Maggie...sit!"

Like obedient dogs the two children sat down quickly.

"Nathan, Maggie...roll over." She said, getting her desired results yet again. She turned to Tracey feeling proud of the level of authority she had over them. It didn't help however since both Tracey and Jon looked shocked at the sight of their kids being ordered around like house pets.

Tracey was about to say something when she sighed a sigh of defeat and calmly dragged herself up the stairs and past Jon.

"Before you change your mind?" Jon asked.

"Before I change my mind." She answered back. Both of them eventually disappeared behind the door to Jon's study as their kids waved and yelled goodbye.

The two of them were now alone in the room where Jon did most of his work. This was his home away from home so to speak, so Tracey couldn't help but feel slightly out of place.

"So...how does this usually go down?" She asked. Jon answered as he walked over to his desk phone.

"It's simple really," he answered while dialing a number. "All I have to do is call Celestia and tell her we're ready...she'll then use her magic to transport us to her world and from there she does all the work."

Tracey had so many questions but she decided to wait till after they arrived in Equestria. As Jon briefly had a back and forth with someone over the phone she occupied herself by looking around the room. She motioned to a chair in the corner that was holding up a scruffy looking grey trench coat.

"I must’ve told you a hundred times to throw away that ugly thing." She criticized as Jon got off the phone.

"Alright it's all set," he said. "Now all we do is wait. Oh, make sure to close your eyes though...the light might blind you."

"O-ok." She said, now feeling nervous. "Anything else I should know."

"Uh yeah the princess...well she's not exactly like other ponies," he answered. "You'll see what I mean." Sensing her nervousness Jon walked up to his wife and wrapped his arms around her now trembling body.

"Hey, hey don't worry, everything's fine." He assured her as he pressed her head against his chest.

"I swear if something happens to the kids while we're away you're dead." She threatened.

"Duly noted." Jon quipped. A few moments passed with seemingly nothing happening which gave Tracey time to let her mind wander...which only served to stress her out even more about this whole idea.

"Wait!" She shouted. "I need to go tell her one more thing!" Tearing herself away from Jon's embrace she rushed towards the door that lead to the hallway. She stopped halfway once she realized that the door was no longer there, in fact there was nothing before her but a seemingly endless hall of sterile floors and ivory pillars.

The sound of her heels against the pearl floors echoed all around her, causing all of her senses to overflow with new information. Within the blink of an eye she was no longer in Jon's study but some kind of grand throne room surrounded by stained glass windows and golden ornaments on display.

"What...in the world?" She said as she didn't know whether to be amazed or terrified. The sound of someone clearing their throat behind her got her attention. She spun around to see her husband standing side by side with what she could only described as some kind of mythical beast with wings, a horn, and free flowing hair of many colors.

"Tracey." Jon said. "This is the Princess I was telling you about." The creature that Jon was intruding was huge compared to Trixie. She wasn't taller than Jon but her size and horn gave the appearance that she was. As a veterinarian technician she'd seen horses before but none even came close to this.

The almost divine looking animal took a few steps forward to the terrified human and presented her hoof.

"Welcome to Equestria Ms. McShane." It said with a large smile. "A pleasure to finally meet your acquaintance."

"Oh...my...god." Tracey said as she hesitatingly grabbed her hoof.

"Please dear, call me 'Celestia.'" It said with a giggle.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Kindness of strangers

The first to regain their vision from the sudden burst of light was Jon; being in front of bright lights on a studio set four days a week blessed him with such tolerance. When his eyes adjusted to the dark long enough for him to see clearly he found the source of the bright light, it came from a rather large Pegasus flying just about him.

Jon didn't need to ask what he was doing because he'd seen his kind before; he was taking candid pictures of him and Tracey. The creature had a large wing span (though normal for his size) and a camera around his neck. His coat was black and his mane was mint green with white streaks which made it look like his hair was fading. Visually there were two features that stood out the most about him. One was his very long mane which was carefully woven into dreadlocks, and the other was a bright two tone yellow scarf that he wore around his neck, which stood out especially in contrast to his dark body.

The Pegasus flew in place staring at those below him with a smile that was brighter than the flash from his camera. A smile which, Jon would later notice, rarely left his face.

"I knew I recognized ya!" He said in a scratchy, wise-cracking voice. "You're Jon Stewart! Dang, I can't wait to tell the fellas about this one!"

"Excuse me!" Tracey said, her vision now back as well. "Who are you!?"

"Oh right, sorry about that," he said without showing an ounce of regret for what he did. "The name's Shutter Speed! I'm a photographer."

Jon was about to press further about who he was and what his motives were for being here, but before he could the two guards responsible for his safety stepped forward.

"Speed! Get the hell out of here!" One of them yelled. "We've got enough to worry about without you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!"

"That's right!" The other guard added. "If you don't turn tail right now I swear I'll make it so you don't fly straight for a month!"

This sudden outburst of rage surprised both Jon and Tracey. Up until now the only emotion they ever saw from their guardian friends was dismissive sincerity, and intense reverence for their job. Whoever this Shutter Speed was he seemed to know how to press the right buttons.

"Fellas, fellas you hurt me," Shutter said while still smiling from ear to ear. "Can't you two give a struggling artist a break every once in a while?"

"'Struggling artist?'" One guard said. "Don't give me that! You're nothing more than a two bit, dime-a-dozen, cheap cameraman for hire, who goes around taking pictures for anyone dumb enough to pay for your 'services.'"

"Ha! Jokes on you!" Shutter said back. "Only two of those things are true."

"We mean it Speed!" The other guard threatened. "Leave now, or else!"

"All right, all right, I get the message." He said. "But before I go, let me ask ya...aint you even a little big curious about how I knew where to find y’all?"

"No." One guard said bluntly. "Last chance Speed...leave or I'm taking this spear and I'll shove it so far up your--"

"Actually," Jon interjected. "How did you find us?"

"Yeah I'm actually curious about that myself," Tracey added. "I thought Celestia said we'd take the back trolley to avoid being seen as much as possible."

Having finally gotten the chance to talk to the two humans for once Shutter flew up higher like he was addressing an audience. He looked down at Jon and Tracey, his long hair dangling down like fishing lines and his ever present smile still clearly visible.

"Well see that's the problem, pretty lady." He said to Tracey. "The princess don't usually use that thing at this hour so I knew she was up to something."

His reasoning was both simple and the same time brilliant to Jon.

"But I had to make sure whatever was going down was big," He continued as he took out a picture. "Once I had identified who was on the trolley I rushed back into town to see if I couldn't get an even better look and well...here I am!"

Flying in between the two guards Shutter Speed showed Jon and Tracey a candid photo of the two of them on the verge of sharing a kiss. The setting looked familiar and once Jon put two and two together a startling realization overcame him and him momentary embarrassment.

"Wait," Jon said, pausing to get his facts in order. "So...the flash of light from when we were on the trolley was..."

"Ding, ding, ding...that's right Mr. S" Shutter said. "That was me! Once the photo developed I recognized you from TV and I knew I just had to get some more of ya."

After his explanation Tracey took the photo from him to observe it further. Jon grimaced at the thought of what Tracey might say or do. One aspect that came with the territory of Jon's popularity was the publicity. Under US law since Jon was a well-known public figure he didn't have an expectation of privacy. This meant that virtually anyone at any time could take pictures of him and his family with or without their consent.

Jon by this time was used to it but Tracey always found it annoying since it usually happened at the most inopportune times. This came to a head once a few years back when the Stewart family went trick-or-treating and a cameraman wouldn't leave them alone. There was no way any photo from Equestria could be traced back to the human world but Jon still prepared himself for his wife's eventual rage.

"I...I love it!" Tracey said; everyone but Shutter Speed was surprised. She leaned in to give Jon a better look. "Look honey doesn't this picture of us look adorable?" Jon wasn't an expert on photography but even he had to admit that the picture did turn out pretty good. The darkness juxtaposed the bright interior of the trolley quite nicely.

"Yeah, it's pretty grasshoppa if I do say so myself." Shutter said. "If you want you can keep that...I already made a copy so it's aaaaall goooood."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Speed." She said as she put the photo neatly into her purse. "Out of curiosity did you take any more of us?"

"I sure did!" He said as he presented some more photos to the two intrigued humans. Most of them were from far away with the last one being a close up shot of them being escorted by the two royal guards. Out of context it almost looked like they were being arrested.

Tracey admired his handy work and was about to comment on them with another question when a guard strolled in between them, his massive spear leaning more towards Shutter.

"With all due respect Ms. McShane, we do need to get to the restaurant to make your reservation." The guard said now turning his attention to the floating stallion. "Now then...if you please excuse me we do have somewhere to be...so get lost!" To further intimidate the pesky Pegasus he slammed butt of his spear against the ground, making a loud and powerful sound. Shutter Speed didn't flinch or look at all afraid, if anything it made him smile even harder.

"I suddenly feel like I'm not wanted" He said with a fake expression of pain while placing a hoof over his heart. "Alright I get the message I'll leave."

He began to slowly fly backwards widening the gap between himself and the guards. He didn't get too far before calling out to Jon and Tracey.

"Alright you crazy kids, have a great night on the town," he called out. "I'm sure you'll just loooove spending your time together with these two bundles of joy."

Jon and Tracey looked at the two royal guards than at each other. As if communicating telepathically they both made a decision.

"Hey Shutter Speed, why don't you tag along for now!" Jon called out, getting mixed, negative reactions from the two guards.

"Yes by all means...it'd be nice to have someone to talk to for a little bit," Tracey said. "Besides we'd love to have some more pictures to commemorate this night."

In response to this Shutter Speed arched his back and flew as fast as he could directly at them. Before he could get too close however two intersecting spears stopped him mid-flight.

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid we cannot allow this." One guard said. "We were ordered to--"

"You were ordered to do whatever we requested, am I correct." Tracey interrupted, standing over the guard to show off her height.

"Well..." The guard said, fidgeting in place. "Y-yes but--"

"In that case we request that Shutter Speed comes with us." Jon added, backing up his wife. The two guards looked up at the two humans towering over them and begrudgingly nodded their heads.

"You may...accompany us." The other guar, his words covered in a thick layer of contempt.

"Grasshoppa!" Shutter said. He hovered just above the two humans and soon the five of them were once again on their way. It didn't take long for someone to start asking questions.

"So Shutter Speed," Tracey said getting almost everyone's attention. "What kind of photographer are you?"

"Oh little ol' me?" He said in an overactive tone. "I take pictures for whatever work I can get...but mostly I do photos of famous ponies."

"So I'm guessing taking pictures is your special talent?" Jon asked. His question was met with an answer but from a completely different pony.

"His special talent is being a pain in the ass." One of the guards said.

"I get the feeling these two don't like you very much." Jon commented.

"Nah, they just act like that; deep down they loooove me!" Shutter said, getting giggles from Jon and Tracey. "I like to consider myself the local jack of all trades but to answer your question...yep taking photos is what I'm all about! See...check it!"

He flew at just to the side of them to show off his cutie mark which was a roll of film. It was difficult to see against his dark body, especially at night but it was still visible. It was his dark coating that made him such an excellent photographer since at night most ponies never saw him coming.

"I'm guessing it's that special talent that's gotten you in trouble with...um?" Tracey said trying to recall if she knew the names of the two royal guards currently in front of him.

"Flint and Tinder." Shutter said causing the ears of two guards to bend backwards.

"Excuse me?" Jon asked.

"Their names...their names are Flint and Tinder," He repeated himself. "Two royal guards who patrol mostly in Canterlot City...and yeah they don't like it when I take the occasional picture of celebrities buuuuut that's not why they’re mad me....isn't that right guys?"

"Don't start with me." Flint said.

"Why what happened?" Tracey asked. When neither guard answered her Shutter took it upon himself to give the explanation.

"Imagine if you will two royal guards who were honor bound with the most meaningful assignment there ever was...defending the wellbeing of the citizens in the greatest city in Equestria, Canterlot!" Shutter said in a poetic tone. "Now imagine those same royal guards found sleeping on the job."

"We. Weren't. Sleeping." Tinder said.

"Oh riiiight," Shutter said. "And I suppose that picture I took was of you two just closing your eyes for a second.'"

Jon and Tracey couldn't help but laugh a little bit. What followed would have been an awkward silence but Shutter Speed wouldn't allow it.

"So what are you two celebrating today?" He asked. "I don't know nothing about no humans but y'all look pretty snazzy."

"Oh nothing special really," Tracey answered. "We're just going out for a dinner date."

"Aaaah…Grasshoppa!" Shutter said, giving a wink to them both. "Where to?"

"Some place called 'the Alimentaire Cheval.'" Jon answered trying his best to pronounce it right.

"Oh I know that joint!" Shutter exclaimed. "I go there all the time."

"Really?" Tracey asked. "Is there food any good?"

"HA! I wouldn't know!" He said with a hardly laugh. "An appetizer at the place probably costs more than this camera...I just troll the place for high profile ponies to take picture of."

After finishing his explanation Shutter leaned in just close enough so Flint and Tinder couldn't hear him.

"If you want I can show you two where the restaurant is," He said with a smirk. "I'm willing to bet my flank that you'd much rather be escorted by anypony other than these two sour ponies."

Both Jon and Tracey weighed the options of either being escorted further by the charming and helpful Shutter Speed or the straitlaced duo that was Flint and Tinder. The outcome wasn't even close.

"Hey uh...Flint, Tinder," Jon said. "You guys have done a great job so far, really you have…but from here on out I think we'd much rather go with Shutter Speed over here."

Upon hearing this the group capme to an abrupt stop. Two royal guards had stopped in their place and turned to face them with shocked expressions.

"Yeah we'll be fine," Tracey added. "We'll be sure to tell Celestia that you--"

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid we really can't allow this!" Flint said. "While we were ordered to listen to your requests we were also instructed to keep you safe...we would not feel comfortable leaving you in the hooves of this low life."

When the word “low life” escaped his mouth Shutter Speed made a motion with his hoof like he was driving a knife into his heart.

"Look guys," Jon said. "I appreciate the thought but--"

"By order of the Princess I'm afraid our desicion is final!" Tinder interrupted. "Now then...let us continue." A silence hung over the group only to be broken by Jon.

"They should make a sitcom out of you two." He said, but they said nothing.

They continued to walk with Jon and Tracey looking rather disappointed. Shutter Speed however was still smiling; he leaned in close once again to address only the two humans

"When I give the signal...close your eyes." He said. Before they could ask he flew just ahead of the party and made some slight adjustments to his camera.

"HEY FLINT, HEY TINDER!" He said now hovering above them. The two looked up to see him poised with his camera ready to go. "SAY 'CHEESE'"

Gathering that he had given the signal both Jon and Tracey closed their eyes. A few seconds later a bright flash of light lit up the night sky for an even longer extended period of time. The sound of Flint and Tinder dropping their spears and groaning in pain caused the two to open their eyes once again.

"LET'S BOOGY!" Shutter yelled as he flew down a nearby dark ally. Jon and Tracey followed, laughing as the adrenalin coursed through their bodies.

"HALT!" Flint demanded as he ran in a random direction. "IN THE NAME OF THE CELESTIA I ORDER YOU TWO TO--" Before getting the chance to finish his demands he ran head first into a street lamp, temporarily rendering him unconscious. Tinder, who wasn't doing much better, found himself unable to see to the point where he ended up staggering backwards into pile of trash that someone had left out.

Jon and Tracey were running hand in hand, making sharp turns through ally after ally trying to lose their would be pursuers. They felt like high school kids who were caught hanging around school grounds after hours by campus security. It'd been years since either of them felt so alive; they enjoyed every second of it.

"That...was so grasshoppa!" Shutter yelled over the sound of feet stomping on hard ground. "Just follow me, we're almost there!"

A few twist and turns later and the three were now standing in front of a large building that was populated on all sides by ponies of all shapes and colors. A sign just over head said confirmed that this was indeed their desired location.

"Well here we are," Shutter said. "First floor we have fancy ponies, overpriced dinners, and fine wine."

"Listen Mr. Speed I'd like to thank you for bailing us out." Tracey said.

"Indeed. Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?" Jon ventured.

"Actually maybe there is," He said with a grin. "Mind if I take one last picture of you and the Misses before you head in?"

"I'm sure that'd make for a nice pair of antlers to hang on your wall." Jon joked.

"We'll do it but only if we get a copy." Tracey interjected with a smile that matched Speed's.

The couple huddled together while Shutter Speed lined up his shot to include both the couple and the restaurant in the background. A second passed and he took the picture, which developed right in front of them and slowly began to increase in contrast.

All three of them huddled together to get a better look. The two humans were in perfect focus and the background served as nice background which didn’t draw attention away from the couple.

"Grasshoppa!" Shutter said admiring his own work. "Alright I'll be in the area if you need any more help...enjoy your dinner, you fancy folks." And with that he flew upwards into the sky and began to circle the area like a vulture.

"Nice guy." Tracey said. Jon agreed and checked his watch to see what time it was.

Grabbing a hold of his wife's hand Jon turned and made his way towards the restaurant, readying himself for a nice quiet dinner with his wife. Unaware that the real fun hadn't even started yet.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Table for two please

With Shutter Speed now gone Jon and Tracey were left to themselves, standing across the street from a massive building that had a large crowd of ponies clambering to enter. The building in question was, as it said on the sign out front, the 'Alimentaire Cheval,' the restaurant that they were to dine at.

"Well...we're here," Jon said as his wife admired the beautiful architectural properties, something which she had a thing for. "Last chance; are you sure you wouldn't want to go to McDonald's instead?"

Jon's jesting was met with Tracey lovingly punching him on the arm. It was playful but at the same time she was in much better shape than her husband so she could hit pretty hard. She was about to start walking forward when a thought crossed her mind.

"Shall we head in?" Jon asked.

"Wait I got to do something first," She said pulling her cellphone out of her purse. "I want to call Trixie and see how the kids are doing."

Rather than stopping her Jon just watched in amusement at what was about to happen. Immediately her call to the home phone could not go through, all she got was a voice telling her that the number she had dialed was either disconnected or that she had no signal.

"Sweet heart?" Jon said rubbing her shoulders. "These people don't even have airplanes...so they sure as hell don't have a satellite that can pick up phone signals...come on let's go.” A defeated Tracey put away her phone and agreed.

Hand in hand the couple found the designated crosswalk section of the road where they slowly made their way towards the grand building. While they slowly walked forward Jon got the chance to admire the new district of Canterlot that they were currently occupying. It looked even more elegant than where they just came from.

Its many features reminded him of central park. The street that held the restaurant carried many different stores, most of which were antique shops and even a clothing boutique. Behind him was, what looked like high end town houses and he could just barely make out a park just around the corner.

If Jon didn't know any better he would have guessed he stumbled back home and onto 5th Avenue. The one aspect of this area, and indeed all of Canterlot, that didn't resemble Manhattan was how clean it was. Even in the most lavish of neighborhoods in the great state of New York one could easily find its fair share of graffiti or occasional trash heaps, but in Canterlot everything was clean and sterile and if there was any trash it was properly disposed of.

Even the restaurant they were about to enter looked like it was trying to complete with the standard held back home. Without prior knowledge of its purposes one might mistakenly assume it was city hall or some other kind of official government building. It was white with columns on the front and two statues of an Alicorn; each on either side of the entrance.

As the two approached the building they noticed it was completely fenced off by ponies on all sides. Some trying to get in and others who just happened to be socializing in the area.

"Wanna see something funny?" Jon said to Tracey. She nodded and Jon made his way up to the edge of the crowd and behind a colt, complete with a tuxedo, top hat, and monocle.

"AHEM!" Jon leaned in to clear his throat right next to the ear of the dapper looking pony.

"I beg your pardon!" He said. "But do you mind not--" Stopping mid-sentence he yelped in surprise at the strange species that was now staring at him. The pony closest to him turned to investigate what was going on and did the same. This pattern, like a series of dominoes, continued till all eyes were looking up at him. Jon took a few steps forward and just as he predicted the ponies in the crowd stepped to the side as he gradually made his way forward.

"M'lady." Jon said in old British accent. He extended his hand out at Tracey who took hold, allowing him to escort her through the sea of ponies. Eventually they got to the front door where the doorpony usually stood and used his magic to let guests enter, at this time however he was too awestruck to even move.

"Don't worry I got that." Jon said before opening the door for his wife. The two entered without anyone saying anything to them.

Once inside they realized exactly why everyone was trying to enter in a hasty, though well organized and sophisticated, fashion. The 'Alimentaire Cheval' was in fact that finest restaurant in all of Canterlot and based on its interior it wasn't hard to see why.

The place was built almost like a theatre with tables set up in the center of the building and an upper level which held similar tables; all of which surrounded a stage located towards the back where a group of musicians were in the middle of a performance.

Much like Canterlot itself the inside was neat and pristine. Overhead one could easily see a few chandeliers and the walls were decorated with paintings of scenery and famous looking ponies, none of whom Jon recognized. Everything was candle lit and at the very center of the ceiling was a section made of class to let the moon light in.

One of the long stretches of wall that seemed to extend all the way around the restaurant had a very poetic mural painted on it of two Alicorns facing each other and in the very center of the establishment was a giant stone carved statue of another Alicorn pointing at said mural.

Not everyone present was wearing clothing but those who were had only the finest attire and they spoke and moved like they had been practicing for hours.

"This sure beats the Park Avenue Seasonal, huh Trace?" Jon said.

"Yeah...it...sure does." She answered still spellbound by everything. Jon and Tracey were in lobby like structure where on both their sides were benches and an more paintings. Just ahead was a maître d busily scribbling in her large leather book while simultaneously helping guests get seated.

"Alright let's do this." Jon said as he guided his wife over to the pony in charge of getting people sat. He approached the light green pony with baby blue hair and tried to get her attention.

"Um excuse me?" Jon said to the Unicorn whose eyes never left the book of names. "We're here for a reservation."

"Name." The hostess said bluntly.

"Uh, it should be under Jon." He said.

"Sorry, we don't have you." She said in a dry tone.

"But you didn't even check!" Tracey said sounding somewhat insulted.

"Trust me I would have remembered a name like that," The rude pony said. "Next time you want to sneak in try a more convincing name like 'Buttersquash' or 'Cloudburst.'"

Tracey was moments away from laying into her when Jon placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a look as if to say, "I got this."

"It would really help us a lot if you checked again Ms....Ms. Majestic," Jon said, stopping to read her name tag. "Because I assure you we do have reservations...Princess Celestia told us so herself."

Hearing the Princess' name caused the pony to look up at them. Her first instinct was to naturally question them on the validity of their claim but when she layed eyes on the two her jaw dropped and she began to frantically think of what to say. Before she could utter a single word something exploded onto the scene nearly tackling her in the process.

"Majestic! Leave us une fois!" A creature said in a thick French accent.

This time it was Jon and Tracey surprised to see a new and strange species before them. The creature that quite literally flew in to help was a dark grey Griffon with light grey wings and mane. He wore a red ascot around his neck, a chef’s hat, and most noticeable of all had a large mustache like what one would expect from a 30s villain who ties nuns to train tracks.

The scared pony darted off as the Griffon took the podium that she had previously manned. After straightening out his accessory he began addressing Jon and Tracey.

"Monsieur Stewart I apologize zis inconvénients!...Allow me to introduce myself, I am the head chef and co-owner of zis établissement, Gustave Le Grand!” He said with a bow. “Welcome to the 'Alimentaire Cheval...again my deepest apologies!"

It took Jon a moment to respond, this was his first time seeing a Griffon and he found himself somewhat terrified.

"Oh well that's uh...that's alright," Jon said, his eyes drawn to Gustave’s large talons. "We uh...we're here tonight because the uh…the princess said she would set us up with a table."

"Ah oui oui Monsieur oui oui, we heard about your arrival and have prepared everysing!" Gustave said. "Please, please! Follow me right zis way!" The enthusiastic chef walked slowly into the restaurant, cutting right in the middle as Jon and Tracey followed close behind.

"More following." Jon whispered to Tracey who giggled. The building was very large and spacious even for humans so Jon took this opportunity to scan the room to see if he recognized anyone and to his surprise he actually did.

In one table clear across the other side of the room was a group of formal looking ponies conversing amongst themselves. One of whom was Mayor Mare who seemed to be doing most of the talking.

"Well, well, well," Jon said to himself. "Of all the restaurants, in all the cities, in all of Equestria."

Jon's hulking presence caught her attention and soon both their eyes met where upon she quickly motioned to her guests like she was saying "excuse me." She waved at Jon, prompting both he and Tracey to wave and smile back.

"Who're we waving at?" She asked, being all too familiar with being in this position.

"That's the mayor of Ponyville." Jon said as he continued walking. "I had her on the show once...nice lady."

"Ah I see," she said still waving. "What's her name?"

"Get this...Mayor Mare." Jon said, getting look of surprise from his wife. "...I know right!"

The couple continued walking and right away Jon noticed another familiar face only this time it was from one of the musicians up on the stage. It was none other than Octavia who, along with a band of five other ponies, were in the middle of performing a piece. Jon didn't wave to her since she was so attentive to her work that her eyes were closed shut. Though even if she did see him chances are she wouldn't have acknowledged him, not during a performance anyway.

From there on Jon didn’t recognize anyone else. All he saw was endless rows of strangers staring at him or very obviously talking about him. None of them tried to interact with him possibly because it would be considered unbecoming, but just when Jon and Tracey were almost to their table when a voice a called out.

"Jonathan!" A voice said. "I say, Jonathan over here!"

Ordinarily Jon would just assume whoever was talking was calling out to someone else since no one ever called him by "Jonathan" except his mother, and even then only when he got in trouble as a kid. But since this was Equestria he looked in all directions to see who was trying to get his attention. From his right side Jon could now see who was calling out to him; it was a white stallion sitting at a table with a mare of the same color.

The stallion was waving at Jon while his marefriend was busy laying her long neck on his back.

"Another friend of yours?" Tracey asked as she waved back.

"No actually…I've never seen them before in my life," Jon said. Before continuing Jon turned to talk to his Griffon helper. "Hey Le Grande can we make a quick detour over there?" Since one of his staff members had neglected Jon not too long ago Gustave wasn't in any position to say no. He quickly changed gears to escort the two over to the table.

Upon closer inspection Jon could now see the two Unicorns better. The male pony had a slightly longer than average mane of sapphire blue and his cutie mark was three golden crowns. He was also the only one of the two wearing any clothing in the form of a tuxedo, a matching blue vest, and a purple bow tie. His guest was a tall slender female whose mane was light pink with white stripes and her cutie mark was three Fleur de Lis symbols.

"Jonathan, so good to finally meet you!" The blue haired pony said. "And this must be your lovely wife Tracey! It's an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Uh likewise I suppose," Jon said. "But I'm afraid you've put me in an awkward position...you know me but I don't know you."

"Oh I do hope you’ll forgive me; it would seem I have forgotten my manners!" He said now motioning to the pony next to him. "First and foremost this is my lovely confidante, Fleur de Lis...dear, this is the human I walk telling you about."

As if she was sick, or perhaps just didn't care, the slim pony lazily lifted her hoof for the two to shake. She didn't say anything nor did she look at them, she was too busy resting herself on the shoulder of her mate.

"It's nice to meet you." Jon said shaking her hoof.

"Likewise for me as well." Tracey added. When neither of them got a response back Tracey spoke again. "I really like your mane by the way...very lovely." Her compliment got Fleur de Lis' attention.

“…Thank you, my dear.” She said only to quickly go back to doing nothing. An awkward silence followed, though it didn’t stay for very long.

“Right then.” Fancy Pants said as he offered his hoof. "And as for me, my name is Fancy Pants."

Jon had to use all of his willpower to fight back the wave of laughter from escaping his mouth. His cheeks puffed and he placed his hand across his mouth. Tracey noticed this and covertly pinched his leg which was a warning she gave to her children (and on occasions Jon himself) to not act up, and to be on their best behavior.

"Pleased to meet you Mr. Fancy Pants." Tracey said in a friendly tone as she shook his hoof.

"Yeah..." Jon said with a large grin on his face, doing the same. "A real pleasure."

"Well then...now that we've gotten all that out of the way, Fleur de Lis and I would simply love it if you would join us for dinner." He said motioning to the two empty seats across from him.

"You mean…like a double date?" Tracey asked.

"Well I should dare say yes, exactly like one." Fancy Pants said.

"That's very kind of you to offer," Jon said. "But I'm afraid my wife and I had had plans to--"

"We'd love to!" Tracey said, causing Jon to look at her with confused eyes.

"We would?" He asked.

"Oh of course we would!" She reiterated. "Oh come on honey when was the last time we went on a date with another couple."

"Uuuh… I think Ol' Bubba was still in office at the time." Jon said, answering a question he knew wasn’t meant to be answered.

"Please honey...it'll be fun!" She said with begging eyes.

"...You're enjoying all this aren't you?" Jon asked.

"immensely!" She said with a laugh.

She noticed that Jon looked slightly uncomfortable with this idea so to help she decided to sweeten the deal.

"And if you do this for me when we get home I'll..." She leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Neither Fancy Pants nor Fleur de Lis could hear what she was saying but judging by how Jon's facial features changed from uninterested to astounded it must have been huge.

"SO!" Jon exclaimed. "About that double date!"

"Exceptional!" Fancy Paints announced. "Please won't you sit down?"

Jon and Tracey followed his hoof that extended towards the two empty seats; immediately there was a problem. Although the table and chairs scattered around the restaurant were very high fashion and well-crafted, with fine wood and adorned with the expertly woven tapestries, they were a few sizes too small. For a pony they were just the right height but for the average human it was kiddie table sized

Fancy Pants didn't notice this but fortunately the still present Gustave Le Grand had taken this into consideration long ago.

"Actually since you will all be dinning together I suggest everyone follow me." He said. All four of them followed Gustave to the very center of the restaurant where the statue of the Alicorn was located. It was then that Jon realized that the statue was that of Celestia herself. But most importantly from this new angle Jon could clearly see that as well as being a statue it was also part booth.

At the very base of the stone monument was a carved out section that held a half circle booth. It was larger than the other tables because only Royalty was allowed to sit there. But for this night only an exception was made in this case Jon and his wife.

The booth itself was made from mahogany wood and the cushions imbedded in it were bright red and made of silk. The table on the other hand was so shiny Jon could see his reflection in it, if he didn't know any better he'd say it was made of diamond.

"You're server will be with you in a moment." Gustave said. "Please...enjoy your stay."

Jon helped Tracey get onto the table with Fancy Pants doing the exact same with Fleur de Lis. No sooner did they sit down did a team of waiters, who were dressed better than Jon did on an average day, sprung from seemingly nowhere to give them their complimentary wine.

"My word this is a rather splendid turn of events isn't it?" Fancy Pants asked as he looked around. "I've been here a multitude of times but never have I sat in the Alicorn table...I admire the influence you have in our world Mr. Stewart."

"Oh please...call me Jon." He said not at all wanting to confess that the only reason he got the table was because of his large build. "And for tonight let's forget all about social statuses, work, and our responsibilities and just have a good time."

All agreed (with Fleur de Lis nodding instead of talking) and after a quick sip of their wine the dinner date have officially begun.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Wasn't prepared for this.

The crowd cheered and applauded as Jon slowly made his way to the center of the stage with a spot light following his every move. To stall for time and set the mood a bit he stopped and pretended to walk forward only to quickly hop backwards, throwing off the pony handling the spot light.

The crowd found his pre-performance antics amusing but at the same time Jon wanted to get this over with. It took him only a few seconds to reach the microphone but to him it felt like an eternity.

His mind was filled with thoughts about what he should or should not say. He'd performed live standup before but in those cases he always knew the layout well enough to structure his routine accordingly...he may have been to Equestria a few times but he had no idea how they would react to some of his jokes.

Taking the microphone off its stand he took a deep breath and was about to say something when he froze for a second. He didn't know what to say, he thought of about a couple dozen jokes that were good for openers but nearly all of them would fall flat for a pony audience. Comedy came naturally to him but this time he was seriously out of his element.

In his career he'd performed his comedy from all walks of life. From the dankly clubs of the lower East side to grand halls of the Presidential correspondence dinner in Washington; but nothing in his life leading up to tonight could have prepared him for this.

The stage the brightly lit which made the audience hard to make out but he could still clearly see the booth that he had left not too long ago. All eyes were on him but the one that Jon cared most about what his wife’s. Looking across the room he saw Tracey give him a smile and thumbs up; it was all he needed to get over his momentary stage fright.

"Hey everyone thanks so much for having here today. As you all know I was given the chance to do a comedy bit for you guys and I can't even began to explain how honored I am for the opportunity." Jon said as he tried his best to look at every pony in the audience by doing a sweep from right to left. "I apologize if this turns out to be a bit short, I didn’t have much time to prepare…but hey It's great to see the faces of such a great looking audience…and for those of you who are sitting behind the giant Celestia looking statue weeeell...better luck next year."

The crowd chuckled at his opener; even those who were unfortunate enough to be seated out of view were able to hear him alright thanks to the design of the building which carried his voice to all corners of the restaurant.

"Although I'll be honest with you folks I'm a little bit nervous right now," Jon admitted. "Not because of all the mythical creatures with other worldly powers flying around...no, no, I got over that months ago...it's because this is my first time performing standup here in Equestria so you'll forgive me if I sound uneasy."

Jon looked forward at countless pairs of eyes glaring at him waiting to see where he was going with this.

"You know back home in the human world we have a saying," he continued. "It goes something along the lines of: 'If you're nervous on stage just imagine the audience naked'...that rule doesn't really apply here in Equestria now does it?"

Again the crowd responded. This time not with a slight chuckle but full on laughter, as Jon made sweepings motions at the elegant interior

"Seriously I mean...half of you guys aren't wearing any clothes at all and I still feel under dressed in this place," he explained. "I guess that's what you get for performing in such a nice restaurant...speaking of nice places...I'm glad I got to do this here...here in the great city of Canterlot. In many ways it reminds me of New York so I do feel at home here."

Jon was never too fond of getting a rise out of the audience by name dropping their city but with such limited material at his disposal he wasn't too picky.

"I mean where else was I going to perform? Ponyville? Not that one horse town." Jon said in a joking tone. To his surprise his somewhat mean spirited comment was met with laughter yet again. "No, no I'm just kidding it's a fine place...of all the times I've been uh, here to Equestria I've visited Ponyville the most."

Now more in the swing of things Jon strolled casually across the stage, dragging with him the length of wire that was connected his microphone.

"Overall I believe I've visited your world a total of five times now...If I make it to ten I believe I get a free sundae." He joked, which got a quick chuckle from the audience. He hated to have to rehash a joke form his show but he was desperate.

"Now…other than today I've only been in Canterlot once and, in the short amount of time I’ve spent here, I’ve already met some real colorful characters." Jon said scratching his nose. "I think my favorite thus far is the esteemed Fancy Pants and his girlfriend Fleur de Lis."

The stage light which hovered over him didn’t find its way to the two poines sitting down since everyone present already knew who they were.

"Now I understand that names in this world are different...hell sometimes I don't know if I'm reading a list of names or someone's grocery list." He continued. "Admittedly we humans aren’t that much better. I mean we're the people who went and named someone 'Bear Grylls.'

Had Jon been blessed with the ability to see into people’s minds he would have seen a lot of imagery of a bear grilling some food from the audience.

"But having said that I just gotta say...Fancy Pants?" Jon said with some emphasis in his last name. "...You know what no...too easy."

The crowd, many of whom were acquaintances of Fancy Pants, chucked at their friend being hazed by the renowned comic.

"And then there's Fleur de Lis," Jon said quickly seizing everyone's attention including the pony he was about to make fun of. "Geez, and I though having Big Mac on my show would be a bad idea...this woman makes him look like a motor mouth by comparison."

Insult comedy was always gold but since the circle of ponies he knew was not very proportional in terms of whom these Canterlot ponies knew he decided to move on.

"Also for those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Jon Stewart and I run a show on TV called 'The Daily Show,' on Comedy Central" he said. In response he got a quick applause from those who had heard of it, which came from almost everyone present. "But as you can plainly see I don't just do sketches on TV. When I first started off I did standup from place to place trying to get my bearings and I did alright. I remember years ago one of my first big breaks was when I was a finalist in a race to see who would replace David Letterman after he left NBC in 1993. But in the end I lost to Conan O'Brien."

As expected Jon got looks of confusion from the audience. In Equestria only a very select few television programs actually get broadcasted from the human world. Aside from his own the ponies in attendance didn't recognize a single name drop...it was exactly what Jon was hoping for.

"Some people say my losing to Conan has made me bitter over the years but I'm here to tell you that's not the case; I couldn't be more happy for him...but having said that," Jon said, pausing for the some of the ponies to stop giggling. "I'd like to...try something. Now then really quickly could I get a quick show of hooves...who here knows who Conan O'Brien is?

Not a single pony raised their hoof.

"Interesting..." he said. "Now then...who here, prior to my introduction, has ever heard of me?"

Unsurprisingly almost every pony raised their hoof.

"Let's make this easier," he continued. "Has anyone here ever watched an episode of 'Late night,' 'The tonight show,' or a show called, 'Conan?'

As before the only reaction was confused looks, as well as the occasional laughter from ponies who knew where he was going with this experiment.

"Aaaand who here has ever watched an episode of 'The Daily Show?'" He asked, getting expected results.

"Yeah...I thought so." Jon said in a blunt tone. "Suck it O'Brien!"

His little experiment was met with laughter from everyone present to hear it. Experience had taught Jon that having the audience participate was always good for getting them to warm up to you.

Ever since Jon's popularity skyrocketed when he took over 'the Daily Show' he'd gotten the opportunity to speak in front of people who would be deemed as high society. He sometimes hosted awards shows and gotten the chance to go to dinner parties where he'd get to make an after dinner speech, if necessary. In his experience rich people all had the same laugh; effortless and subtle like raising your voice was a social faux pas. The ponies in attendance weren't any different.

"...You know...another reason why it's such an honor to be here tonight is because while it's true I was born in New York I grew up in New Jersey, which isn't exactly known to be a...fancy place." He said walking towards the front of the stage. "But enough about me I'm always interested in hearing about other people's walks of life...you there sir where you from?"

Taking a step forward Jon pointed his microphone towards a grey and black stallion in the front of the audience. He looked all around him before answering on the off chance that Jon was talking with someone else.

"Uh...East Canterlot." He said.

"Oh a home town hero, huh? That's great!" Jon said, turning his attention yet again. "How bout you Miss?"

This time Jon went to his left and motioned to a pink and green Unicorn who was gossiping with her female friends.

"P-ponyville." She said sheepishly.

"Ponyville? You’re a bit far away from home but hey, nice place, nice place." Jon said now taking a few steps to his right. "And you sir where do you hail from?"

Jon now pointed his microphone at a light blue and orange Unicorn sitting with a mare that looked to be much younger than him.

"I'm from Baltimare?" The heavy set pony said.

"Say again?" Jon asked.

"Baltimare!" He reiterated in a louder voice.

"Oh Baltimare!" Jon said in a comforting voice. "I'm so sorry to hear."

The crowd laughed at the Unicorn's expense but he clapped his hooves in good spirits to show no ill will.

"You know I've only been to a small amount of places here in Equestria and almost every time I think I've gotten the same question over and over again: 'Does the human world have any poines?' For those of you wondering here tonight the answer is yes, yes we do…but they don't talk, have wings, or use magic." Jon explained to a now intrigued crowd. "So mute Earthponies...we have mute Earthponies."

The crowd laughed while Jon took a sip of the water that was left on stage for him.

"The opposite is true for my world too. A lot of my friends wonder if there are humans here in Equestria to which I respond 'no' there are not. As a matter a fact I'm the first human ever to set foot...foot not hoof...in your guys' world...and actually as of tonight I'm actually one of two humans ever because this time I actually brought my wife with me! The lovely Tracey McShane. Say 'hi' honey." Jon said as he waved to his wife. The spot light that was previously on him swung over to the center of the restaurant and onto Tracey who nervously waved back. "Yeah that's my wife...so, just to recap: fifth time here, and I brought my mate with me. So I think if we have a kid here that would technically classify me as an invasive species."

The audience didn't see the punch line coming since they thought he was just merely introducing his wife. The results were immense laughter from all who heard it.

"Another question I get from fans from both here and back at home is one I find most interesting...they’ll sometimes ask me: 'If you were to be any type of pony which would you be?'" He said pausing to let the question sink into the heads of the audience. "And to be honest considering everything I think I'd be an Earthpony...not because I'm hard working, physically strong, or dependable...but because I think that’s the kind of bad luck I’d have."

The crowd chuckled once again while Jon tried desperately to explain himself.

"I mean don't get me wrong! I love Earthponies! Some of my best friends are in fact Earthponies but the thing is I have a theory..." He explained. "...I have a theory that goes like this...If you are a Unicorn or a Pegasus you could having the worst day of your life...wife leaves you, bank forecloses on your house, your pet dog runs away, but…you can look in a mirror and say to yourself: 'At least I can fly' or 'at least I can use magic."

As the crowd laughed Jon looked over at Gustave who was watching him from backstage. He looked nervous like Jon might say something that could get him in trouble. Jon felt uneasy as well as he was quickly running out of material and needed to think of a swift but memorable way to end his performance.

"Now then it would seem I'm almost out of time so I should probably wrap things up here...I know, I know, it's a disappointing but I have a busy schedule to keep back in my world." Jon explained. "You see back home we finished an election not too long ago and I get to make fun of the resulting backlash of it all...oh yeah that's right where I come from we elect our leaders."

Jon said making a quick motion to the Celestia statue.

"Yeah our guy is a human called Barack Hussein Obama...and I'm all but certain none of you are aware of odd that sounds...you see in my country of America we had an enemy for the longest time and his name was in fact Saddam Hussein," he explained while the pony audience looked on with interest. "So as you could imagine when our leader first arrived on the international stage he got some odd reactions regarding his middle name. Lord knows the Equestrian equivalent here would be if your leader was called 'Celes- Discord God of Chaos- Tia.'"

Half the crowd laughed while others looked somewhat nervous at the mention of Celestia’s name. Jon caught on to this and decided to exploit it a bit for his closer.

"Now...now I promised myself that I wouldn't make any Celestia jokes here today. Not just because she’s a good friend of mine but because I want to live to see another day" he continued. "I mean why risk it? I'm one bad joke away from plunging this place into eternal darkness...but...having said that I think I would regret it if I left today without telling at least one joke about my favorite Alicorn who, by the way, is responsible for me doing this tonight."

The crowd looked almost afraid at what Jon was talking about. Both Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis looked over at Stacey who was now slapping her hand against her face as if to say "oh no."

“Now there are so many lovely things about her I can make fun of like how she’s much larger than all of you guys but a fat joke would be too easy.” Jon said, his words flowing from his mouth like a rattle snake. “Then there’s her hair…there’s a gay joke in there somewhere but again…too easy… no, before I go I'd to...tell one last final joke if I may. Not a funny anecdote or witty criticism but just a regular…joke.”

Many of the audience members looked uneasy about what Jon was proposing, but at the same time underneath they’re curiosity allowed him to continue.

"So...an Earthpony diplomat and a Pegasus diplomat are getting the grand tour of Canterlot Castle," Jon said. Upon hearing the set up Tracey poured herself a new glass of wine. "They’re being escorted by a royal guard and along the way the two diplomats see a Unicorn in a room and he’s...oh what's the term you people have over here...OH RIGHT! They catch a Unicorn 'clopping' in a room by himself."

A few ponies in the audience gasped in horror while others did a literal spit take. Before going on he took one last sip of his water. At the exact same time Tracey was doing the same with her glass of wine.

"The two diplomats are outraged and demand to know why such an act is being permitted in the royal Castle...the guard explains that the Unicorn has a medical problem and that if he doesn't clop at least 10 times a day he will die." Jon explained. "The diplomats reluctantly agree and move on with the tour...a few doors down and they see the same thing only this time it's Princess Celestia herself and she's providing oral sex on a stallion."

Not a single pony made a sound. Jon looked ahead at a sea of cultured ponies, every last single one of them looked at Jon with mouths agape. Gustave was still backstage but now he had fainted. Back at Jon's booth his two Unicorn acquaintances had the same look of surprise while Tracey tried her best not to laugh. She'd had heard countless variations of this joke before and she knew exactly how it ended.

"Again the two diplomats demand to know the meaning of this is." Jon said, pausing for dramatic effect. "The royal guard turned to them both and answered by saying, 'Same disability; better health coverage.'"

At first there was no sound which scared Jon but soon like a chain reaction a few ponies began to laugh. It quickly spread for soon the initial shock of hearing the punch line melted away leaving only much amusement in its wake. The entire restaurant found themselves in a state of historical laughter with half of them doing so without shame while the other half tried not to laugh, as if doing so what punishable by law.

"I'll never forget this night for as long as I live!" Jon yelled over the crowd. "Have a wonderful night and drive safely!"

Putting the microphone back on its stand Jon Quickly exited the stage to his left to the sound of countless ponies stomping the ground in applause. While he made his exit he waved back at them feeling good about his performance.

Stepping over Gustave's unconscious body Jon quickly made his way to the back and into the hallway which eventually lead to the center of the restaurant. He just wanted to be with his wife and continue his date.

Had Jon left the stage sooner he might’ve bumped into Octavia who, unbeknownst to Jon, stayed behind to watch him work the stage. But by the time Jon entered the hallway she had already left through the backdoor to go home.

Along the way he noticed that he hadn't spontaneously combusted or gotten turned into a frog so if Celestia was watching he at least knew she could take a joke....but no one, not even Jon himself knew that his raunchy humor was only the beginning of his revenge on Celestia.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Pay back time

The excitement of the restaurant could still be heard as Jon rounded the Celestia statue to rejoin his wife at the special booth. He quickly slid himself back into his seat and was immediately greeted by his wife and Fancy Pants.

Everyone at the table was applauding Jon on his last minute performance. Though it's worth noting that Tracey did so tentatively. She wanted to say so many things to her husband like how his lewd comments could have offended some people or how he may have gone too far this time, but the new bottle of wine she had delivered to her table not too long ago had rounded out her edges.

She didn't care about the potential consequences of what had happened, all she wanted to do was enjoy the rest of the evening and give Jon a congratulatory peck on the cheek.

Fancy Pants on the other hand was still reeling with delight from getting the chance to see Jon perform his comedy in person.

"Bravo Jonathan, bravo!" Fancy Pants said, clapping his hooves enthusiastically. "Jolly good show if I do say so myself. Of all the live performances I’ve seen seen in this restaurant yours was undoubtedly the best!"

"Glad you liked it," Jon said, his attention now on the bottle of wine near his wife. "Another bottle? I'll take that!" Jon quickly poured himself a tall helping whereupon he quickly consumed it to steady his nerves. He repeated this process again as he was still shaking of the high that he got after a performance.

"Liked it? I loved it!" Fancy Pants continued. "I propose another toast! To Jon! On a job well done!"

He quickly poured four sets of wine glasses and used his magic to distribute them to his four friends.

"To my husband!" Tracey said lifting her new glass in the air. "Someday his big mouth is going to get us both in trouble." All parties agreed and took a sip

"I'll be honest Fancy Pants I'm surprised you’re not all bent out of shape about...all that." Jon said motioning to the stage. "Don't you rich types find that style of comedy to be...uncouth?"

Something about the way he asked his question made Fancy Pants laugh as he was trying to take another sip of his wine.

"Well Jonathan...I'll admit it was a bit...spirited than what I'm used it but formalities be damned it wasn't a joy to behold!" He said with much vigor. "I'm surrounded by boorish ponies all day long...it's nice to unwind every now and again."

"Well Fancy Pants I just hope it was as good for you as it was for me." Jon joked. He then took another sip of his wine which he almost choked on when Tracey playfully jabbed in the stomach.

"Oh indeed it was!" Fancy Pants said. "You know, I've asked Celestia many times to let me travel to New York so I could watch you do your show but she has always denied my request." This news surprised Jon somewhat, he got the idea that he was a fan but he didn't know it was to this degree.

"No kidding?" Jon asked.

"Oh no I'm quite serious...the joking I leave to you." He said. "I've always wanted to see you do your show in person...seeing you here tonight is the next best thing."

Jon took a long sip of his wine and contemplated how much this night must have meant to him. He'd been to high class social gatherings before and he'd never liked the type of people who attended it, but Fancy Pants was different...Jon found him rather endearing. It was then that Jon got an idea and this time it was definitely the alcohol talking when he made his proposal.

"You know what Fancy Pants...I like you! So you know what I'm going to do?" Jon asked before quickly continuing. "I'm going talk to Celestia and I'll make sure you get the best seat in the house at Daily Show headquarters during the next taping!"

This sudden declaration caused the Fancy Unicorn to almost knock over his glass of wine when he shifted in his seat.

"You're going to let me watch you live!? He asked, his eyes filled with joy.

"Even better," Jon said. "Fancy Pants, I'm going to have you on my show as my guest for an interview...and I won't take no for an answer!"

The cultured Unicorn now found himself at a loss for words. He tried to speak but he momentarily forgot how.

"I...wha-- Jonathan are...are you positive!?" He asked. "Surly there must be other ponies more deserving than I."

"Tell you what...you call me 'Jonathan' one more time and the deal's off." He said with a smile.

"In...in that case," Fancy Pants said, stopping to collect himself. "I humbly accept your offer and cannot thank you enough...Jon."

There was a moment of silence which was eventually broken by Tracey.

"Alright, alright enough of that," she said in a joking tone. Leaning over she grabbed the bottle of wine and opened it with the cork provided with an audible pop. "You two can bromance later...right now the night's still young."

"Agreed!" Fancy Pants said. "But before we go any further I'd like to show you two my gratitude." And Fancy Pants did just that by waving his hoof to get the attention of Gustave Le Grand who had recovered from his fainting incident was doing his usual rounds throughout the restaurant.

"Gustave! I say Gustave could you come here for a second?" He called out. Seeing this he quickly flew over a few guests and landed perfectly in front of them.

"Oui oui monsieur pantalons?" He said, his head still a bit dizzy from his little episode. "Is zer something I can do for you?"

"Gustave old boy I'd like to pay for my friend's dinner tonight," Fancy Pants said. "Not only did Jon here put on a capitol performance but he had also invited me onto his show. These two lovely humans have shown nothing but kindness towards us all night...I simply must repay them in some way."

"Oh Fancy you don't have to do that!" Tracey said.

"Oh but I must!" Fancy Pants said. "I cannot allow your husband’s kindness to go unrewarded...please I insist!"

"Hey...free food." Jon said with a shrug before downing the remainder of his drink.

"Oh monsieur! You are too kind to a man as…vulgar as monsieur Stewart" Gustave said. "But that will not be necessary...his meal has already been taken care of."

"By who?" Jon asked.

"Why who else? Ze Princess herself of course." Gustave answered. "For you see Celestia instructed me that your bill should be sent to her toot sweet at the end of the night."

"Oh well that was very nice of her." Tracey commented.

"Though it does make sense, I doubt human currency carry much weight here in Equestria." Fancy Pants said.

"Honey, wasn't that nice of her?" Tracey asked Jon who didn't answer back. Instead his eyes were closed as he was in deep thought. For a second Tracey thought her husband had fallen asleep from all the alcohol till he opened his eyes again to address the French Griffon.

"So Gustave...are you telling me the Princess left her tab open to me?" Jon asked.

"Oui oui Stewart zis is correct." Gustave answered. Again Jon found himself eyes closed and deep in thought but it didn't last long for soon a devilish smile found its way onto his face and he began to laugh to himself.

"Honey, are you alright?" Tracey asked.

"Indeed Jon you seem...disturbed." Fancy Pants added.

"No, no, FP I'm just fine," Jon said. "In fact I'm so good I'm going to pay for your meal tonight!"

Before he could object Jon swung around to address his wife.

"Hey honey you hear that? Gustave said the meals on Celestia," Jon said. "I don't know about you but I'm starting to feel a second wind coming on." Tracey's confused expression quickly changed to that of understanding.

"Hey Gustave!" Jon said. "Put Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis' meal on us and bring us another bottle of wine, NO...make it two!"

"Oh uh...of course monsieur of, course...very good." He said as he wrote down their order. "Will zer be anything else you désir."

"Oh you have no idea," Jon said, "But before I go any further...I…I would like to make a special request."

Tracey had an idea of what he was up to but Fancy Pants and his mate were confused as to what he was planning.

"Just name it and I, Gustave Le Grand, will do my best to accommodate!" He said.

"Great...you know that black coated photographer who hangs around your restaurant?" Jon asked.

"Ugh yes...monsieur Shutter Speed." Gustave said, pronouncing his name in the same way one would describe a tapeworm. "I have had...the pleasure of dealing with him from time to time."

"Great!" Jon exclaimed. "I would like to talk with him...could you please show him in?"

Gustave looked beyond surprised by Jon's unorthodox request. He was about to challenge his request but decided to swallow his pride and do as he was asked.

"Of...of course monsieur," Gustave said in a tone of fake enthusiasm. "I will fetch him immediately."

With a quick flex of his wings he took off to the entrance of the restaurant leaving the two couples alone once more.

"Jon...what exactly are you up to?" Fancy Pants asked.

"You'll see." He answered, taking a sip of his wine.

It took about five minutes for Gustave to return with Shutter Speed flying close behind. Jon saw him coming a mile away since the white interior of the building made the dark colored Pegasus stand out even more. Soon the two of them flew in front of the booth where Jon was eagerly waiting.

"Ahem...monsieur Shutter Speed." Gustave introduced in an uncaring tone.

"Daaang this place is grasshoppa!" He yelled. "Hey Mr. S! Loooong time no see! Thanks for letting me in! I ain't never been inside this place before…how’s the grub?"

Now that he was in a much brighter area Jon noticed some things about Shutter Speed that he didn't notice before. Like how his scarf seemed tattered and beat up like he'd never taken it off a day in his life. That wasn't the only thing that seemed aged either. His eyes looked sunken and glazed like he never slept which made him look older.

But the most surprising feature of all was his tail, or rather his lack of one. Even from his angle Jon could now see that Shutter Speed didn't have anything where he tail should be; not even a stub. On any other day he might've asked as to why that was but at the moment he needed to talk business.

"Thank you very much, I'll take it from here." Jon said to the unimpressed griffon.

"Yeah Gusty you can go now," Shutter Speed said before giving him a hardly slap on the back. "Don't worry I promise I won't break anything."

"Yes; quite." Gustave said.

“Oh hey! Before you go!” Shutter Speed said. “Mind if I got the number of that hotty working the front? I think she digs me!”

Ignoring him Gustave walked away. Jon waited for the sound of him flying before talking to his photographer friend.

"Shutter Speed I need a favor from you." Jon said.

"Name it!" Shutter said. Before Jon could continue Tracey cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Oh right...uh before we go on I'd like you to meet my friends: Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis." Jon said.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr. Speed." Fancy Pants said. As expected Fleur de Lis didn't say anything but instead laid her long neck against Fancy Pant's shoulders. Shutter Speed didn't give him a formal handshake but instead yanked him forward for a hug liked he'd known him for years.

"Fancy is right! You look like the kind of pony who talks using five dollar words." Shutter Speed joked. Looking over his eyes eventually found Fleur de lis. He gave her a wink and offered to shake her hoof too but she wasn’t interested. Getting the hint he gave up and went back over to Jon. "So about that favor?"

"Yes, I need you to take a picture." Jon continued. Shutter Speed waited to see if there was anything else he wanted to add. When Jon said nothing he commented.

"That's it?" He asked. "Just a picture."

"Yes but not just any picture," Jon explained. "This one is for posterity and it’ll be sent to a dear friend of mine."

"Who?" Shutter Speed asked.

"Well...ok to understand why I'm doing this I need to tell you my plan." He said, motioning for him to come in closer. Jon began to whisper something into the photographer's ear which caused his continued smile to grow even wider the more he listened.

"Understand?" Jon asked.

"Oh ho, ho, Mr. S yous is one sly beast!" Shutter Speed said.

"So you'll do it?" He asked.

"Mr. S...for you, anything." Shutter Speed said. "This is going to be totally grasshoppa!"

After getting the ok Jon slide out of his booth and made his way to the stage.

"I'll be right back!" He called out to his wife. Without even asking Jon threw himself back on stage where he quickly grabbed the microphone he had used not ten minutes ago.

"Hello? Everyone could I please have your attention!?" Jon said to the crowd. The sound of conversations and silverware on fine plates halted and soon all eyes were on him.

"Yes, hello me again...listen I just wanted to thank you all once more for letting me perform for you all this night." Jon said. "It was an experience that I will truly never forget...now I know you all probably want to get back to your meals so I'll make this quick...I have an announcement to make!"

Later that night:

The duties of a Princess can be annoying at times. They can spring up at any moment, and no matter what the situation it always demands your immediate attention. Celestia was brooding on this very thought in her private bedroom as she signed away paper after paper.

Earlier that night she got to meet Tracey McShane for the very first time but was unable to talk for very long. Her original plan was to escort them personally to the Alimentaire Cheval and perhaps even join them for a brief time but at the last second she was called away to take care of some important business. For the rest of the night her only company would be a castle servant, some documents that needed her hoof signature, and the occasional cup of tea.

She wondered if it was perhaps too mean of a prank to not tell Jon that she had signed him up to perform but deep down she knew he would do alright. She did regret missing the chance to see him on stage but at the same time she knew she'd hear about it soon enough from the grapevines.

"Princess?" A muffled voice called out. "May I enter?"

Celestia looked up from a contract she was reading to see her loyal mare-servant awkwardly trying to balance a tea set on her back while keeping some letters and a package in her mouth. She was a young Eathpony with a light brown body and and a bright green mane. She wore thick glasses that covered almost half of her face and her mane and tail were always messy.

"Dear Garnet, do come in." Celestia said in her usual calm tone. "Remember you needn't ask permission to enter I trust you entirety."

The unbalanced pony entered swaying back and forth to balance the tea set. At about halfway through Celestia assisted by using her magic to snag the drinks from off her back, placing it nicely in front of herself.

"Uh...t-thanks!" Garnet said with a blush.

"You're very welcome," Celestia said. "...Is there something you wish to give me?"

Looking confused at first Garnet quickly realized that she was still holding the princess' mail in her mouth.

"Oh sorry!" She said. She quickly trotted up to her royal boss and placed a letter and a white box tied with black string in front of her. "This came for you...f-from Canterlot city."

Taking the letter first Celestia immediately recognized the seal on the letter being from the restaurant she had ordered to accommodate Jon.

"Ah this must be Jon's bill," Celestia said out loud. "Thank you, Garnet. That will be all for now."

"O-of course your Majesty!" Garnet said bowing down so low her glasses almost fell off. "If you need anything else I'll be outside."

With that Garnet turned and made her way to the door while Celestia multitasked by breaking the seal of the letter and using her magic to lift a new cup of tea gently to her mouth.

The second the tea flowed onto her tongue and down her throat she began to violently cough and convulse like she'd be kicked in the stomach. A very surprised and frightened Garnet turned around to see her Princess gasping for breath.

"PRINCESS! Are you alright!?" She called out. In a panic she ran up and saw that the tea she had delivered to her was now spilled in all directions. "Oh...oh no..."

Not knowing what to do at first she stood there watching as Celestia struggled to breathe. She then turned to and ran for the door yelling as loudly as she could.

"Somepony help!" She yelled. "The Princess has been poisoned!" She almost made it to the door when an unknown force stopped her from going any further. Looking back she realized what it was, Celestia had used her magic to stop her in her tracks.

"Wait...Garnet, s-stop." Celestia said, still coughing up her drink. "I'm...I'm fine this isn't...poison."

Rushing back to the side of her Princess, Garnet gently began patting Celestia's back to help her along.

"A-are you sure!?" She asked, getting a nod in return. Garnet now realized she was touching the Princess without permission and recoiled her hoof accordingly. She took a step back and watched as Celestia regained her regal composure. "Then...then what's the matter?"

Using her magic Celestia levitated the letter she had previously opened and showed it to her worried servant. Garnet carefully inspected it and her legs nearly gave out in the process. The letter in question was as Celestia suspected, a bill for Jon and Tracey's meal at the Alimentaire Cheval. That part wasn't what caused Celestia to nearly drown in her own tea, it was the total amounted owed.

"Total: 872,659 bits"

No one said anything. Celestia just starred the massive bill in front of her, confused as she was horrified. In truth this much bits meant nothing to her. Compared to the overall funds she had at her disposal this was barely a drop in the ocean but nevertheless she was still left wondering.

"How?" Celestia thought to herself. "How could those two have produced such a massive check?"

Celestia shook her head and convinced herself that this was nothing more than some kind of clerical error on the restaurant's part. To confirm her suspicions she let the letter unfurl itself to see what they had ordered. And like a boomerang her disbelief came right back when she saw the bill fall to the floor. She sifted through section after section of the invoice which was twice as long as her own body.

She carefully read each entry of the long paper which detailed all that they had ordered.

"320 servings of Cobb salad."

"487 servings of Manhattan style pasta"

"743 servings of celery sticks"

"893 servings of spinach dip."

"912 servings of Chili bowls."

"1689 bowls of tomato soup."

"3980 glasses of deluxe Canterlot wine."

The list went on and on with seemingly no end to it. For the briefest of moments Celestia entertained the thought that perhaps Jon and Tracey did consume this much, she quickly dismissed the idea soon after. She wasn't an expert on humans but she knew that it was impossible for them to consume this much food, no creature could.

As she sat there trying to understand all this her assistant chimed in.

"Um...it also came with this." She said offering Celestia a white box with another note tied to it. Quickly she took the letter and used her magic to open it. It was a letter addressed to her...from Jon.

The letter read:

Celestia couldn't help but laugh at herself. She knew better than to try and match comical wits with Jon and yet she tried anyway; brought down by her own hubris. She looked back at the letter to reread it when she noticed that there was a clause at the very end she hadn't noticed before.

For a second Celestia wondered what box the note was referring to but she quickly remembered that package that came along with it. She looked passed the note at a small white paper pox before her which had the same seal on it as the note that contained the massive bill. To her embarrassment there were some tea stains on it from her coughing fit.

When she opened it she saw two things: A piece of chocolate cake encased in a plastic container and a picture resting on top of it.

The picture was of the Alimentaire Cheval's interior with a large number of ponies in the background including that gaudy statue of herself that Celestia never liked. In the foreground were Jon and Tracey, hand in hand waving at the camera, each of them holding a very expensive glass of wine as if to taunt her. They looked happy and so did every pony in the picture.

Celestia's eyes wandered over to the delicious looking slice of cake. It was her favorite; chocolate cheesecake. Placing the picture face down on the ground she took a deep sigh and made plans to eat her cake of defeat.

It was at this point however that she noticed the picture had some writing on the back. It was quick note followed by Jon's signature. She read it to herself and promptly gave a spirited laugh.

"Leaving an open tab to a Jew from New Jersey...are you mad?" -Jon Stewart.

Episode 13 [Fancy Pants]: Please welcome to the show Fancy Pants

Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Fancy Pants
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019

Whenever Jon takes a trip to Equestria, for business or otherwise, he always found himself having a new appreciation for someone. The last time he went to Canterlot it was to get Octavia on his show and he soon found himself humbled by Earthponies in the music industry which, from what he understood, was a mostly Unicorn dominated field.

This time around Jon's dinner date in Equestria gave him a far better appreciation for the new member of the family, Trixie. Not because she was the one who suggested they get the princess to set them up for a night on the town, though that certainly was a factor. No, this time around Jon found himself forever thankful for Trixie's presence because she helped him get over his massive hangover. A hangover so large that he almost considered having her run the house for the entire day while he and Tracey called in sick.

Considering that Jon was about two or three decades older that he should have been to be consuming the amount of alcohol that was given to him that night, it's not difficult to see why he had a hard time getting up that morning. He and Tracey awoke feelings like someone and jammed a corkscrew into the side of their heads and wouldn't stop turning it. An apt feeling since Jon used an actual more times that night than ever before when he opened bottle after bottle of free wine; all on Celestia's royal tab.

Thankfully it was around this time that Trixie discovered the two delirious adults half passed in their beds, they’re clothes mangled or discarded, and bottles of free wine scattered everywhere. She revealed that she knew a healing spell or two that could cure the bothersome aftereffects that was their big date night. And, after a quick flick of her horn, she did just that. Thought it would have taken a much stronger healing spell to help Trixie’s back which almost snapped in half when Jon gave her a thankful hug for her services.

With a head now free of fog and a body refreshed from a long nights rest Jon was ready to continue his week vacation. And, after a few days passed from then, he was also ready for his interview with his new friend, Fancy Pants.

The Show that day went very well. Throughout the first two segments Jon worried that the dreary interior of the backstage waiting room would be not up to standards for the pristine Unicorn. But as his staff assured him later that day he was an absolute gentleman who wanted nothing more than for time to accelerate so he could finally get a chance to talk with Jon one on one…and maybe a cup of tea.

As the camera panned over to the center of the stage it zoomed in on Jon Stewart who was busily flipping in his pen in his hand, occasionally flicking in the air and catching before it landed on the table. The audience had barely begun to lower their volume when Jon officially began the third segment of the show.

"Welcome back...to the Daily show! My guest tonight!" Jon yelled over the audience. "He is a businesspony from Equestria who is widely regarded as 'The most important pony in Canterlot.'" He paused to give the boys in the back time to play the clip made available to them from Celestia.

"Fucking tourists." Jon said, shaking his head back and forth. "Please welcome to the show, Fancy Pants!"

The music that accompanies most guests began to play which to the audience was the first sign to make as much noise and humanly possible. The second sign came in the form of Fancy Pants making his way onto the stage, waving spiritedly at the audience as he made his way to Jon.

He still wore roughly the same attire as he did the night before which by Canterlot standards was considering pretty casual, but to those watching he looked as if he was getting ready to accept an award. In addition he also had a little satchel which was made from only the finest material to match his outfit. Jon met him just as he was about to sit down and shook his hoof. The two of them waved at the audience in unison as if they had done so many times and took their respective seats.

"Welcome to the Daily Show, Fancy Pants." Jon said as he sat down. "And may I say...you look great." Using his magic the blue haired unicorn placed his bag onto the desk and brought his mug of water within arm’s reach.

"Oh why thank you, dear sir," Fancy Pants said. "By the way here, I brought you something." His horn glowed a faint blue aura as he carefully removed a bottle of wine from his bag and onto the table, prompting some audience members to cheer him on.

"It's the same brand as we had last night." He added. "You seemed quite fond of it so I got you another one from my private cellar...good year too, it's almost as old as you." The revelation that Jon had been out drinking coupled with Fancy Pant's unintentional jest of Jon's age made the audience laugh.

"Oh well uh, thank you very much." Jon said taking the bottle and placing it under his desk, as he thought about how much he did not want to touch another drop of alcohol again, less he had a repeat of his headache from that night.

"Now, uh…n-now then before we go any further…I just to make one thing perfectly clear...your name is Fancy Pants," Jon said putting heavy emphasis on his last name. "...Really?"

"Yes, yes I am quite aware," Fancy Pants said. He briefly looked behind him at his exposed bottom half then back at Jon. "Trust me I've heard it all before."

"Oh, I don't think you have." Jon said as he adjusted his tie and played with his pages of notes. "Now...now they call you 'the most important pony in Canterlot'...con-considering that Celestia also lives in Canterlot I mean...why is that? Who--what did you do to get top billing over, oh I don't know, your ruler and god of your world!?"

Before answering Fancy Pants took a deep sigh and used his magic to clear the desk of his bag.

"Oh I do so detest that title," Fancy Pants said. "It was given to me mostly because of my lineage...you see I come from a long line of ponies dating all the way back to the founding of Canterlot."

"Oh I see," Jon said as he scooted closer to his guest. "So your family is uh, well respected in the…Canterlot community?"

"Oh yes, quite right, quite right. You see my great grandfather help establish some of the major boroughs and sections of the city." Fancy Pants explained. "And his father started off poor but supported his family by working hard as a door to door salesman in the area."

The story of Fancy Pant’s family was very intriguing to Jon. However one part of his explanation seemed a bit off.

"W-w-wait…I thought you said his son helped establish Canterlot?" Jon asked.

"Indeed he did," Fancy Pants assured him. "Before that Canterlot was barely a colony."

"Well if that's the case what good would a door to door salesman be if...if there wasn't even a town let alone doors?" Jon asked.

"I said he was 'hardworking,'" Fancy Pants chuckled. "I never said he was smart." This caused Jon to laugh so hard he almost had knocked over his mug of water when he flailed his arm across the table to hold himself up. The audience followed Jon in a laugh of their own while Fancy Pants took a sip of his own water.

"So...so what uh, so what kinds of things do-- did he sell?" Jon asked. "Bonus points if it turns out he was a second hand pants salesman."

"Well to be honest as a traveling salesman he sold a great many things. What you need to understand is this was very early on in the development of territory in that region. So a lot of things were scarce." Fancy Pants answered. "Generally speaking he sold whatever ponies needed most at the time. But from what I gathered he and later on his son made their name as pot dealers."

Jon didn't say anything at this point, though he did look very surprised. He instead remained silent and let his audience fill the void of silence by faithfully cheering at the mere mention of marijuana.

"I'm sorry but...pot dealer?" Jon asked with a straight if a bit confused face.

"Why yes of course, Jon." Fancy Pants reassured him. He picked up on Jon's confusion and decided to further explain. "You see Jon...my great, great, Grandfather found that no matter who you are or what you do you'll eventually need to do some cooking...in his travels he sold many varieties of pots. He sold them to kitchens, households, and even gave a deluxe bundle to Princess Celestia who at the time didn't have a royal cooking set."

The crowd continued to laugh as Jon nodded his head in understanding.

"Oh I see," Jon said rubbing his brow. "He uh, he sold pots and pans...like for cooking soup."

"Well of course he did, dear boy." Fancy Pants said. "Why...what did you think I meant?"

Again Jon opted to not answer but instead slowly turn his head over the audience who laughed at the bewilderment of the guest, who would remain unaware of his ignorance for quite some time.

"Um...what about your family?" Fancy Pants asked to fill the awkward silence. "Were they also in the entrainment industry? Or did they make their living doing something else?"

"Well...I think my great grandfather, on my mother's side, was responsible for relocating the family to America at the turn of the century." Jon said. "As for my father...well my father's side of the family is completely Jewish so for a brief chunk of time we don't really like remember our own history."

The audience chuckled at Jon facetiousness but without proper context on Fancy Pant's part he was left still very confused as to what he was referencing.

"Ok so…we know your grandfather and his old man sold...pot," Jon summarized to get things back on his guest. "But tell me Fancy Pants what...what, what, do you do? Where-- how did you continue your family’s legacy?"

"Well it's not just me Jon...each child born under the Pants family is tasked with making a name for him or herself. For example my brother Spiffy Pants is doing quite well up north as a film director," Fancy Pants answered. "As for me I guess you can call me a pony of industry."

"Alright and what exactly do you produce?" Jon asked. "Again bonus points if it's some kind of pants like entity."

"Well to understand what I do for a living you should know that when I was told I had to go out into Equestria and start my own business I didn't know what direction I wanted to go in," Fancy Pants explained as he used his magic to rub his monocle against his collar. "I eventually looked at what my great, great Grandfather did and decided to follow his business model."

"So you...you sell whatever it is that people need?" Jon asked.

"Actually interesting fact about me," Fancy Pants said as he grabbed his mug of water in preparation. "I've actually never created, sold, or distributed a single thing in my entire life."

As he took a sip of his water the crowd chuckled at the curious look on Jon's face.

"I'm a bit confused." Jon said bluntly "What...uh, that is what exactly do you do?"

"It's quite simple really. I run a company that specializes in...well running other companies." Fancy Pants said. "You see my organization, Fancy Pants Corp, goes around buying small businesses and gives them a safe and effective environment to work in, thus utilizing them to their full potential.”

After his brief explanation Fancy Pants saw an unconvinced look on Jon's face. It was the same look he'd seen from countless others when he revealed what he did for a living, including his own father when he first proposed the idea many years ago. On the surface it sounded as if Fancy Pants was a capitalist pony who went around buying out small businesses to cut the competition but in practice what he did was much more wholesome.

"Allow me to give an example if I may...I remember there was once a major conglomerate up north called Lava Corp, that specialized in manufacturing spare parts for trains and railways. The standard wheels, bumpers, and the like," Fancy Pants explained. "Now then...one of their subsidiaries was a small company that produced wheels and nothing else. Their sales were so low however that Lava threatened to terminate their entire contract and leave them without jobs. Unfortunately their sales remained subpar and as a result their entire staff got laid off."

"I'm assuming this is where you came in?" Jon asked as he leaned back as if to observe him.

"That's correct. After their contract was terminated I confronted the company manager so see if they would want to work for me. As it turned out the reason they didn't do so well was because the Lava Corporation’s work environment was abysmal. They constantly made employees work overtime with little to no inventive and basically forced them to cut corners to make unreasonable deadlines." Fancy Pants explained while trying not to get too riled up. "The crowning moment of Lava's ineptitude was when they refused to order an expensive type of metal that would have almost guaranteed that the wheels would perform better in cold environments. The head foreman in charge refused to make wheels that weren't safe and that was when they all got fired...fast forward to today and that same small tire business now works for me at Fancy Pants Corp, producing tires that have been voted most trusted brand in all of Equestria six years in a row now."

Both Jon and Fancy Pants remained silent as the audience cheered and hollered at idea of a corporation treating their workers with respect.

"Wow...th-that's very impressive." Jon commented. "And what about the other subsets of your company? Do they do just as well?"

"Oh indeed they do, Jon," Fancy Pants answered. "In fact not only are 62% of companies who work under me the top of their field, but as based on last years adjusted earnings statistics each of my subsidiaries have turned a profit."

"I’m not a business man but I must that’s very impressive!" Jon said. "Is there anything you can't do?" Instead of dismissing his question Fancy Pants actually put some thought into an appropriate answer.

"...I can't play golf." He said in a blunt tone that made Jon laugh. "Honestly I'm just awful at the sport."

"Well...that aside...It really seems you really care about everyone who works for you." Jon commented.

"Well yes of course! You see that in a nutshell is my business model. I find ponies who are trying to start a business and nurture them so they can succeed. If you have a great idea for a product then come work for me and I guarantee you'll be put in a safe and productive work environment where the exchange of ideas is encouraged and the product is not put above the employee." Fancy Pants continued. "My company is the leader in benefits, work safety, and the creations of jobs...and not just in Canterlot mind you."

"Oh so you uh...you, you, you also have people working for you in Ponyville and Cloudsdale?" Jon asked.

"Oh my yes, but I've also expanded my reach far beyond that region." Fancy Pants said. "I have imports and exports all over Equestria from Yanhoover to Baltimare...why just recently I received a rather exquisite shipment of tapestry all the way from Saddle Arabia."

Even though Fancy Pant's claims were very impressive, from a business point of view, he couldn't understand why the audience was now laughing at him and why Jon was rubbing his hand across his face.

"Ok...I've accepted a lot of things going into this gig," Jon said in a tired tone of voice. "I've accepted that there's a place called Las Pegasus, I've accepted there's a place called Manehattan. I've even accepted that there is a town called Ponyville...but Saddle Arabia...are you fucking kidding me?"

Fancy Pants didn't answer. Mostly it was because he had no idea what the problem was but also because the crowd's laughter made any explanation at this point too late to dwell on.

"Oh...well anyway going back to your story...uh I mean your company...I must say our business model is a very admirable one." Jon said.

"Yes well…it's my philosophy that a company only does well when you treat it not as a company but as a family," Fancy Pants said. "Although I give full creative control and the final say to the companies I purchase I still try to micromanage as much as possible so I can get to know all the workers employed under me. There hasn't been a single pony working at Fancy Pants Crop that I haven't shaken hooves with at least once."

"Wow. You're like...Bizarro Mitt Romney." Jon said. "You know I'm just going to flat out say it...y-you're not like most rich people."

"Thank you?" Fancy Pants said with a nervous laugh.

"No, no I'm serious! In my line of work I've seen my share of corporate fat cats and...well let me tell ya it's pretty damn hard to find a rich person in this town who doesn't look and act like a Bond villain.” Jon assured him. “So having said that I’m going to tell you this...if you ever...replace your monocle with a uh...uh, uh, with an eye patch and start petting a cat in a swivel chair with a backdrop of the world map I'll take back all those nice things I said about you."

"Well…I'll admit that sometimes we Canterlot folk don't always seem like the most inviting group of ponies and for that I apologize," Fancy Pants said. "But I assure you that deep down all of us only want what's best for others."

"See, right there! That's what I'm talking about! You not only admit that there...that, that sometimes people who live beyond their means are sometimes out of touch but you also apologize for that...do you know who would-- what it would take for one of our guys to do that?" Jon asked an embarrassed looking Fancy Pants. "Because I'll be honest when I first discovered that you were a captain of industry I was surprised to find that your cutie mark wasn’t something like...uh, like a-- you know instead of your three crowns something like three bags with money signs on them or, or something."

Jon's vague description of this alternate cutie mark made Fancy Pants look like he'd seen a friend on the other side of the street.

"Oh no, no, no, no Jon you're thinking of a colleague of mine!" Fancy Pants said. "Yes, good ol' Filthy Rich down in Ponyville...he and his father made quite a name for themselves by cornering the market of zap apple jam."

"Filthy Rich?" Jon said followed by more laughter from the crowd of onlookers. "You know a guy...whose name...is 'Filthy Rich?'"

"Well of course I do. Overall a rather nice chap and a diligent family man…very fit for his age too." Fancy Pants said. "He's actually, if I remember correctly, the richest Earthpony in Equestria. Which is really a great feat when you take into consideration that most wealthy ponies are, like myself, Unicorns. "

"Then what are Earthponies usually known for?" Jon asked.

"Well...Earthponies like everypony else has the capacity to do anything they want and they've proven that time and time again," Fancy Pants explained. "But for the most part a large number Earthpoines are employed for manual labor because of their superior strength. Labor such as working in fields or in industrial factories."

"We have those here in the human world as well. We call them 'Mexicans.'" Jon commented which in turn caused the audience to laugh for a good few seconds. "Now uh...wha-- this friend of yours, 'Filty'...just...seriously? I mean what's his middle name 'Stinkin'?'"

"No, now you’re thinking of his father," Fancy Pants said. "'Stinkin' Rich…he and my father went to school together."

"Ok! I'm done!" Jon said while throwing his arms in the air. Before Fancy could comment Jon got up from his chair and made a motion like he was about to leave the stage, causing both his guest and the audience to laugh and make arm motions as if to coax him into staying.

Eventually Jon did sit back down, and as he did a new topic popped into his head.

"Alright let me ask you this...aside from better, uh w-work environments how else do you use your wealth and influence to better the...the pony community?" Jon asked while making gestures with his hand across the table. When Fancy didn't answer right away he continued with an explanation. "I mean when do you...have you ever done any kinds of charity work or something to that effect?"

“Ah…well yes, yes I do. As a matter of fact I’m putting together a show soon where all the proceeds go to charity.” Fancy explained.

“What kind of show?” Jon asked.

“Well!” Fancy said preparing himself like he was about to give a speech. “I’m putting together a--”

“Because I have an idea or two…’World’s Strongest millionaire!’” Jon interrupted. “Think about it! You and a bunch of other rich ponies get into a steel cage and fight to the death. We can even put you in a singlet, throw some war paint on ya, and give you a ring name like the…’The Canterlot Crusher!’”

While the crowd laughed Fancy Pants did his best to not try to visualize anything Jon had described to him.

“As I was saying…I’m putting together a lovely show for charity, a ballet as it were.” Fancy continued. “With my beautiful partner Fleur de lis as the star.’

“Oh I didn’t know she was an entertainer.” Jon said.

“That’s actually how we met.” Fancy added. “She’s a world class gymnast and dancer…we met once during another charity event quite similar to the one I have planned.”

Usually Jon would have worked this topic more but since he didn’t find his girlfriend that interesting he decided to keep things on his previous topic; giving their small amount of time left.

“Now aside from that does your…I mean do you ever do any other forms of charity through your company?” Jon asked, hoping to see if to expose more about his business practices.

"I do actually. I've lead the charge within my own company to set up a relief fund for cities who come under attack." Fancy Pants explained. "It was an idea that I adopted from a local Ponyville mare by the name of Punch Drunk...it's called the Equestrian relief fund under the Homefront foundation. Basically whenever a major city in the area gets attacked they get fundings, which pulls resources from all my correspondence as well as money from my own estate, to help them rebuild their homes."

Again the crowd cheered at the selflessness of the cultured pony in a neatly pressed suit and bow tie.

"The last time we used the funding to any significant degree was when Canterlot was under attack by the Changlings," Fancy Pants continued. "Our beloved city was covered with green excrements for weeks and a few buildings were damaged."

Jon wanted to ask so many questions, like what are Changlings or why they were invaded but in the interest of time he decided to save that for another day. He instead decided to continue the topic of his relief fund.

"Now you're from Canterlot so you have-- I mean over there you're a well-known figure so it makes sense that you'd pony up, no pun intended, the money needed to help your fellow Unicorns." Jon said trying to sound respectful. "But has this Homefront foundation ever had to use this....uh, this funding for anyone else?"

"Oh well of course Jon. As I said any major city in Equestria is eligible to use our finances when they are in trouble." Fancy Pants answered. "Even towns as close as Ponyville and Cloudsdale have been helped by this funding at one point or another."

"Wait, wait, wait...Ponyville?" Jon asked.

"Of course." Fancy Pants answered.

"So you're telling me...that whenever...whenever Ponyville is invaded you guys front the bill to get them back on their fee--er hooves?" Jon asked.

"If a panel of investors within the foundation deems their requests valid enough to warrant assistant then yes we do," Fancy Pants said. He then shifted the tone of his voice to sound less like he was reading from a contract. "But in the case of our good friends over in Ponyville the answer is 'yes'...whenever they come under attack we help them out."

"How are you not bankrupt right now?" Jon asked causing Fancy Pants to burst out laughing so hard his monocle fell from his face. "Seriously! From what I've heard that place gets invaded like a middle Eastern country with oil." The Joke went over well with the audience but as expected was somewhat lost on Fancy Pants.

"Yes, well...it's actually funny you should mention that because a high ranking official within the foundation actually shared your disbelief," Fancy Pants said making sure not to drop any specific names. "He actually suggested that Ponyville was running some kind of scam since, out of all the cities requesting assistance, they had requisitioned us the most. He believed they were fabricating false claims just to get money or even causing these attacks on purpose...he was so convinced that they were defrauding us that he ordered an investigation to see if they had everything in order."

“Cooking the books, huh?” Jon asked. "Whatever happened the case?"

"It was eventually dropped at my personal request," Fancy Pants answered. "We take grand larceny very seriously but I knew our sister city was being honest with us...granted I did suggest that, although we would happily assist them whenever they needed, they should probably invest in some form of militia."

This caused Jon to laugh more than he had expected. He also dreaded what his wife might say since she already didn't particularity like the idea of him going to Equestria without protection.

"We're almost out of time so before we go I would like...that is to say I want to know a little more about you personally," Jon said. "Like...uh ok we...we know what you do business wise but what are your hobbies...what do you like to do when you're not handing out free money or shaking hooves with constituents."

Instead of answering right away Fancy Pants tilted his head to the side to think for a few seconds about an answer worth talking about. He had one but he was a bit embarrassed.

"This...may not sound very healthy for a colt in my position...but I am rather fond of gambling." Fancy Pants said with an innocent grin. "Don't get me wrong I don't do it professionally or anything to that nature. I just enjoy engaging in the culture on a social level with my close friends and colleagues."

"Any uh, any game in particular you like the most?" Jon asked.

"If I had to pick I'd say the dog races." Fancy Pants answered. "I can't explain it but it's quite invigorating...I even have my own hound that I have somepony take care of and display at the race tracks."

"How different is it when they-- is it different when you're betting on a creature that you can communicate with?” Jon asked. "Are you just like 'Hey dog if you win this race I won't have you fixed.'" As the crowd laughed Fancy Pants just gave the host a look as if he wasn't sure if he was being serious or not.

"Um...Jon," Fancy Pants said, leaning in. "Dogs can't talk." The crowd laughed again but this time squarely at Jon. It was on this day that Jon learned not all animals in Equestria have the gift of speech.

"Oh of course I should have known!" Jon said in a smug, though joking tone. "Now, now you say that you gamble socially with your pals which…I uh…I can, can only assume means they are well off financially like yourself. Am I right?"

"I like to think I have a wide, diverse group of acquaintances but yes a large number of them are wealthy like myself." Fancy Pants answered.

"Now...as a comedian I gotta ask...do you guys ever share upper class jokes with each other?" Jon asked, getting a confused look in return.

"What exactly do you mean?" Fancy Pants said.

"Like well...ok here's one I heard a rich dude say about poor people." Jon said as he made fake gestures like he was stretching. "What do you call two homeless people beating on each other with cardboard boxes...a pillow fight!"

Half the audience laughed while the other half made "aww" noises like they were offended.

"Really?" Jon said to the audience. "That's going over the line?"

"Well...well now that you mention it," Fancy Pants said with a conflicted expression. "I have...heard some of my friends use colorful humor about those who some might consider 'beneath us.'"

"Go ooooon!" Jon said with a grin and raised eyebrows. Before continued Fancy made a face like he was about to back out but after a quick deep breath he continued.

"Ok...why...why does Ponyville have all the Earthpoines and Manehattan have all the sewage centers?" Fancy Pants asked waiting a second before answering his own question. "...Because Manehattan got first pick."

The crowed either laughed or groaned while Jon wrote the joke down on his notes which made Fancy feel somewhat uncomfortable.

"Oh that's a good one." Jon said. "I'll have to remember that for later."

"But it's not like we can't take a joke ourselves!" Fancy Pants assured Jon. "I once heard this joke from an Earthpony back at one of my factories...How many Earthpoines does it take to screw in a light bulb; one, they do it themselves. How many Pegasi does it take to screw in a light bulb; one, they fly up and do it themselves. How many Unicorns does it take to screw in a light bulb--"

"Also one." Jon interrupted. "They use their magic."

"Actually the answer is, zero." Fancy Pants corrected. "They'll hire the Earthpony to do it." The joke was somewhat expected but Jon shared a good laugh with the audience nonetheless.

"You know what Fancy Pants...howsabout you and me head on over to the Alimentaire Cheval, order a bottle of wine or two and just share jokes all night long to help me for when I do standup over there again?" Jon asked as he extended his hand for a friendly shake.

"That sounds absolutely marvelous!" Fancy Pants said as he took the host's hand.

"My man! Thanks again for coming on the show today." Jon said turning to the camera. "Fancy Pants everyone! We'll be right back!"

The crowd cheered and rose to their feet which forced the camera to pan upwards a little higher to get a good shot of Jon and his Unicorn friend. Before going to commercial break Jon leaned in to whisper something into Fancy Pant's ear while he himself awkwardly multitasked by waving at the audience.

Soon the screen filled with The Daily Show logo which quickly disappeared leaving the screen to go black for a few seconds before going to its final commercial break.

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: A bad day to be Jon Stewart.

Some people wake up and can immediately know if they will have a good or a bad day. For Jon, this day was in the latter category. A day where everything that could have gone wrong did, and for him it started the literal moment he woke up.

As a parent of two very young children, Jon's mornings usually started off with him waking up to the sound of something breaking or a fight brought about by some petty disagreement. This meant that he'd get up when they did, which was usually very early and indeed on this day he did just that. It wasn't because of any direct cause from Nathan and Maggie, but from his own body deciding that it would be best for him to wake him up almost two hours ahead of schedule.

Opening his eyes caused Jon to tilt his body to the side in order to avoid the ray of light that was beaming through a space in the window and directly onto his face. It was only when he did this that he realized he was alone in his comfy king-sized mattress. Tracey was nowhere to be found.

For Jon this wasn't too unheard of, since she usually got up to get things started before anyone else; himself especially. But nevertheless, he was never opposed to the idea waking up to the sight of his lovely wife's face, or indeed the warmth of her body against his.

That being said, Jon felt absolutely terrible. His body ached all over and his throat felt dry and uncomfortable like someone had been sliding a piece of sandpaper in and out of his esophagus while he slept. In addition, he felt weak, like his bones might break, and he was starting to get a headache. All this wasn't too uncommon for someone of his age, but even so, Jon already knew what all this meant; he was catching a cold.

Since he was up earlier than expected, Jon tried his hardest to go back to sleep. He still felt tired but his body was determined to stay awake. He tried closing his eyes, hiding under the covers, and placing a pillow over his head, but no degree of darkness could convince his body to hibernate.

The thought of laying around being unproductive may have guilted a lesser man to get up and do something worthwhile with their free time, but for a man as evolved as Jon the fact that he wasn't doing anything at this hour meant he was winning. That is, until his bladder told him that if he didn't leave for the nearest bathroom anytime soon he would regret it.

With a long, drawn out sigh, Jon flipped the covers from atop his body and in one motion leapt from his bed and stood straight up. In fact he did this in such a full motion that he got a head rush so powerful he almost fell back down on his pillowy mound.

He took a couple of steps forward and his joints creaked and popped appropriately in rhythm with a loose floorboard or two in his room. Most mornings started off like this to the point where it felt routine to him.

His head still felt as if it was filled with helium as he exited his room and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. He figured since he was already up he might as well take a shower; if nothing else it would help him fully wake up. As Jon continued shambling down the hallway he kept one hand against the wall for balance since his ailment had left him somewhat lopsided, which didn't help any when found himself now plummeting to the ground.

If Jon wasn't fully awake before, he was now. Even in his delirious state he could tell he was just a couple feet away from the bathroom, but before he actually had the chance to enter he had tripped over something and landed flat on his stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. There was only one person in the area that could have checked to see if he was alright, but unfortunately that same person was the thing he tripped over.

"HEY!" It screamed. "Get off of me you blundering oaf!" Instead of getting up, Jon painfully rolled over to his back to see what he had tripped over. To his surprise, it was of course, Trixie, who had been waiting just outside the bathroom door.

"Ugh! Watch where you're going next time!" she demanded. Part of Jon's leg was still on her so she used her magic to fling it away. "I know you’re old and aren't as agile as you used to be but that's no excuse for such...clumsy behavior."

As much as Jon loved Trixie, he was not in the mood for this at moment.

"I'm fine by the way," Jon said, picking himself up. "Thanks for asking." As if to distance himself from her, he leaned against the wall opposite of the mare, the bathroom door placed in between them.

"Ahem!" Trixie said, making a motion to her flank. "The line starts here!" Jon didn't move, he instead looked to the side and cocked an ear to see if he could hear who was occupying the room.

"Who's in there?" Jon asked.

"Nathan," Trixie answered bluntly. "Tracey told him to wash his hands before he could eat breakfast." This time Jon looked ahead, off to where the railings were. He didn't hear the sound of cooking, nor could be smell anything; though, that may have been because of his congested nose.

"What are we having?" he asked.

"Waffles, ham, and jam toast for us," she answered, "and an apple with some granola for you...and maybe some cereal if Tracey says it's okay."

"Sounds yummy," Jon said in a placid tone. Throughout their little small talk, Trixie never made eye contact with Jon, as she was staring at the bathroom door with Zen-like focus. She then slowly moved her head to get a good look at him. He was rubbing his eyes and making noises like he was auditioning to voice a zombie in a movie.

"You look terrible, by the way," Trixie said. She didn't particularly care to see how he'd react, so she looked back at the door.

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too," Jon said in a tone of voice that was halfway between tired and annoyed. "I'd say the same about you but—"

"But the Great and Powerful Trixie looks great?" she said, flipping her mane to the side. "Why yes…Trixie already knows this."

"...I was going to see, but that would be mean." Jon continued. As much as he'd hate to admit it, she did have a point. By pony standards (a concept that Jon still didn't fully grasp) Trixie was still very youthful and vivacious. Even now, with the exception of slightly messy hair, she looked great for someone having just woken up not too long ago.

"Anyway, come back when you’re my age and see if you're still looking that good every morning," he added.

"Trust me I will!" Trixie argued. "A few decades from now when I'm an elder pony I’ll still be doing a better job of running this place than you. Then I'll have proved once and for all who the better one is." Jon seemed surprised about her confidence in that she'd still be here long after his departure.

"You really think you'll still be here by that time?" Jon asked. His somewhat poorly-worded question caused Trixie to give him a dirty look. "Not that I'm saying I wouldn't want you here for that long...believe you me when I say you're a part of this family I mean it, but...I mean don't you ever get homesick? Don't you ever miss your own world or want to go back to every now and again?"

Her dirty look didn't go away, instead she swung her head to the side and gave an audible snort as if she was a bull ready to charge.

"Hmph! Go back to that ungrateful world? I think not!" she snapped. "Why waste my time in a place that obviously doesn't want me...getting rejected everywhere I go by ponies who don't understand me...so no I don't miss my world...besides without me hanging around this place would fall apart."

Jon felt somewhat guilty for unintentionally bringing up her past. He remembered the interview he had with her which ultimately resulted in her being trapped in the human world. In it, he recalled how hard her life was growing up and how difficult it was trying to make it on her own. Ultimately, it worked out since she now had permanent residents in the Stewart house.

But even still, Jon knew her past wasn’t her favorite conversation topic, so to help make this less tense, Jon got down on one knee to match her eye level.

"Well, Trixie...always remember that...no matter what, you are a valued member of this family," Jon said. "And no matter what you do or where you go, you'll always have a home and a family here."

Jon's kind words felt as warm and inviting to Trixie as a blanket straight out of the dryer. Had it been any other person they would have respectively given the time to express their gratitude, but this was Trixie and her ego wouldn't allow it.

"Please, Stewart, do not act like I want to be here. My world may not be perfect but still..." she said in a smug tone. "If it weren't for those kids and the fact that I still haven't recovered all my magic, I probably would have left this dump a long time ago."

"Oh don't say that, Trixie," Jon said with a smile and forced sad tone. "You keep saying such things and you'll hurt my feelings!"

"Is that so?" she said. "Well, well, well! Had I known you were such a sensitive crybaby perhaps I would've gone easy on you...seriously though, such weakness if unbecoming of a man of your position."

Trixie was an expert at belittling people, but even her crass insults couldn't penetrate Jon's leather-thick skin; decades of dealing with hecklers at comedy clubs made sure of that. With her insult yielding no results, she trotted over to meet him face to face in one last ditch effort to get a rise out of him.

"Also," she said, jabbing her hoof into his stomach. "You’re fat." But again nothing. Jon just responded by petting Trixie on the head with a smile like what he'd give to his children whenever they presented him a crayon drawing. Clearly annoyed, Trixie walked back over to her original spot and sat down as if she was tired.

"You really don't fight back much, do you?" she asked.

"No. I'm more of a turn the other cheek kind of guy," Jon answered. "Also I'm Jewish."

"I still don't know what that means," she said.

"It means we take things in stride," he answered.

A moment of silence followed with Jon stretching his muscles, then addressing his reluctant friend.

"You know, not to sound like a therapist, cause lord knows that's what my mother wanted me to be...but anyway, you can insult me all you want but you can't fool me. Your little defense mechanism thing you got going on here...tissue thin." Jon said with a chuckle.

"Oh what do you know!" Trixie barked.

"I know that you may act like a total bi—...ahem, like a total bully..." Jon said, remembering that his son was still within earshot and lowered his voice appropriately. "But deep down you and I know that you love it here. You love being part of this family...you love having a place to call home...and even though you'd never admit it I know you—"

"Silence!" Trixie ordered with a blush. "I demand you stop saying such foolish things."

"Awwww c’mon now, don't be that way," Jon teased. "We're friends. You can tell me anything."

"Do not flatter yourself, Stewart!" She scoffed. "There are very few creatures that I, the Great and Powerful Trixie regard in life as a 'friend' and you are not one of them."

"Yeah right, which is why you always hang around me and plan on staying here with no plans of ever leaving," Jon quipped.

"I already told you I don't have a choice," she said. "If you're senile mind could keep up you'd know I'm stuck here...remember."

"Yeah about that...I call bullshit," Jon said. "Don't think I don't know what you do at night when you're you’re upstairs 'practicing your magic'...I've seen you in your room, using massive amounts of magic till you almost pass out…at first I thought you were just trying and failing to get back home. You can pretend this is a desert island but you're the one stranding yourself here. Why, I'll bet you've had numerous opportunities to get back home, but you don’t use them, and you use your lack of energy as an excuse to stick around."

Trixie didn't say anything because of the implications. If she agreed with Jon she proved his point and thus he wins, but if she disagreed with him then she'd have to explain herself. So instead she just listened.

"You could leave but you don't...you stay here and act as if you don't want to and you know what...that's fine. I don't mind...as long as you're happy; that's all I care about," he said. "Look, Trixie...I'm not asking you to open up to me or express how you feel or any of that Dr. Phill stuff...what I want is for you to know that everyone here loves and appreciates you. And we will do everything we can to make you feel like one of us. And I know I'm not your favorite person in the world, but trust me when I say I'll look after and protect as if you were my child."

Trixie was left not knowing what to say once again. A part of her wanted to remain steadfast in her thin veneer of indifference, while another part of her just wanted to show some level of gratitude. She wanted to give him a smile, she wanted to say "thank you", she wanted to embrace him like the father she never knew, but before she could even make up her mind, a loud noise awkwardly seized the moment.

The sound of the toilet flushing from the other side of the door immediately broke up any assemblance of a touching moment between the two like a cellphone going off in the middle of a wedding ceremony. Soon after the sound of the faucet being turned on lead both Trixie and Jon to believe that Nathan, who they’d forgot was even present, was finished with his business.

On the off chance that he heard anything they were talking about, Jon braced himself for the questions and comments that his son would undoubtedly have upon his exit.

The door swung open and to his surprise his son burst forward out and immediately ran down the hallway to the stairs without even a second glance.

"Breakfast time!" he shrieked, running downstairs before anyone could say anything to him and leaving Jon to wonder if he even noticed the line of people just outside the bathroom. Before he could call out to him, Trixie ran to the top of the stairs to shout out orders.

"Nathan Thomas Stewart, you stop that! How many times have I told you no running in the house!?" she yelled out. "Especially down the stairs. You could have hurt yourself!"

The sound of a door slamming caused Trixie to turn around and see that Jon was now nowhere to be seen. While she had been distracted with scolding the already long gone Nathan, Jon stealthy took a few steps to the side whereupon he quickly entered the now vacant bathroom. For added security he shut the door behind him and locked it so no one could get in.

"HEY!" Trixie complained as she ran up to the door. "I was next in line!" She tried opening the door but when that didn't work, she began to bang on it with her hoof.

"Heh, heh, heh," Jon said from the other side. "...sucker."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie commands you to open this door at once!" she continued.

"Sorry, can't hear ya’," Jon said.

Eventually, the banging did stop, which to Jon, meant she had given up. From the other side, things went suspiciously quiet, but Jon paid it no mind and went about his business.

First thing was first though, so he promptly positioned himself in front of the toilet and began to undo the front of his pants. After he was done he pulled the curtains to the shower aside and began to adjust the hot and cold faucets. But before he could even undress, a strange feeling took over his body. At first, everything went blurry like he was underwater, then some strange and unfamiliar force surrounded him. He then felt like someone had thrown him across the room only to yank him back like a dog on a leash.

Eventually his vision did return and he soon found himself back in the hallway.

"What the hell!" Jon exclaimed.

"Ha, ha, ha." Trixie said from inside the bathroom. "Sucker."

Soon after he made the correct assumption that she must have used some kind of spell to switch places.

"HEY!" Jon yelled. "Whatever happened to 'not enough magic' or whatever?"

"Well it would seem I had some left over," she said smugly. "Now then...wait your turn!"

Defeated, Jon slumped down next to the door and waited for his turn. Much like how the day had started, things were still not going his way, and it wasn't going to get any better from here.

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Silver lining

Jon always heard horror stories about families with an overabundance of women and the hardships that came with having a ratio that favored mothers and daughters. His friends would tell him tales about being outnumbered in arguments or medicine cabinets becoming riddled with hygiene products but throughout his life, Jon himself never had this problem.

Growing up, the only woman in his life for the longest time was his own mother. She herself was outnumbered by a husband and two sons. Even now with the introduction of Trixie, Jon rarely found a problem with there being a three-to-two handicap while at home...that is, until now.

"TRIXIE!" Jon called out as she banged on the door. "Hurry it up would ya!"

"I said five more minutes!" she yelled back.

"You said that ten minutes ago!" he protested.

Trixie had long since finished taking her shower and was now busy grooming herself in front of the mirror. The shower itself took longer than expected, and with her busily maintaining her hair, she had clocked in at almost thirty minutes in the bathroom. This was an entirely new experience for him, since the only person, aside from himself, who hogged the bathroom was his wife, but she always got up before he did so there was never a problem.

"Maybe you can live with walking about with that nest you call a head of hair but as for somepony like me, hair so fine, real diligence is needed," Trixie responded.

Even though he was up and ahead of schedule, he still wanted to get to work as soon as possible. Since todays episode was a taping and not a live broadcast, he wanted to make sure things were going smoothly. Sitting back down Jon wondered if it was a good idea to not have someone from Equestria on the show today. It was a decision he made solely because lately he felt sick and he wanted to be at his best for such an occasion.

Thinking about work this early didn't sit well with Jon, so to distract himself, he banged on the door again.

"Trixie!" he yelled. "Come on, other people need to use the bathroom!"

When Jon got no response, he set a steady pound on the door until Trixie finally called back.

"Alright, alright I'm coming out!" she yelled. "Geez. Hold your horses."

The door clicked, signaling that it was unlocked, which prompted Jon to reach out from where he was sitting, but before he could, it swung open, releasing a cloud of mist like he had just opened the door to a sauna.

"Ugh." Jon groaned. "Well it's about ti—"

Emerging from the thick haze was Trixie, who to Jon's surprise, was still wearing a towel on her head, but her tail was freely swaying as she walked.

It was more or less at this point that he realized that for all her time after her shower, she had been busy brushing her tail and hadn't even moved on to her mane. Jon would have gone on a rant about that but he was too busy gawking at what she was wearing.

It was a bathrobe which, in itself, wasn't too strange a concept since she had used the shower not too long ago. But what really got Jon befuddled was that it was just her size, as if it was tailored for her. The sleeves fit comfortable around her front legs and the end stopped just short of her cutie mark. It was a standard white garment complete with the initials "GPT" embroidered on the chest, along with what looked like a small badge just on top of it, depicting her cutie mark.

"Wha...I mean w-where did...that is..." Jon fumbled with his words as he made pointed gestures to her attire.

"Christmas present," Trixie answered. "Tracey made it for me."

"Oh...I see," Jon said. He knew his wife was good at sewing, but he had no idea she was this good.

Jon continued to stare at her garments, while at the same time looking at her cutie mark to see if it matched up with the badge on the front, and indeed he did. After a while, Trixie started to feel uncomfortable from the attention.

"Stop looking at me!" she demanded as she whipped her tail across Jon's face. She then walked off to her room, talking to herself just loud enough so Jon could hear. "Honestly, Stewart. Staring at a young lady in her bathrobe after coming out of the shower, how barbaric! I realize I am the ultimate specimen of mare but you could at least try and..."

Her words became less and less audible the further she moved down the hallway, giving Jon ample time to enter the bathroom. Without pause for thought, he walked pass the combs and brushes that littered the sink and entered the shower, which was just as cluttered.

Jon paid it no mind and instead undressed and entered the tub to begin the shower he so desperately wanted. He turned the correct nozzles in his preferred direction and eagerly embraced the stream of water in his face...only to realize that it was icy cold because Trixie had taken the last of the hot water.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Jon shrieked as he frantically calibrated the nozzles.

While this was happening, Trixie was in her room putting the final touches on her mane. Her room now had its own mirror and there was even talk about setting up a television for her. From where she stood, she could clearly see all of her bedroom through the mirror, and she reflected on how different it was since she first arrived.

This came mostly in the form of pictures on the walls, a desk for her to work at, and more furniture. This was done mainly to help her feel more at home, which was somewhat unnecessary since she’d been feeling that way for a while now.

The middle of her room was completely empty. This was done so she could “practice” her magic, which she did almost every day, which tired her out immensely. Once she was satisfied with how her mane looked, she exited her room and made her way to the living room. It got louder the more she descended. This was mostly because of the kids who were busily playing video games since they had already finished eating.

They occupied the living room, and on the opposite end of the room, Tracey was in the kitchen preparing hers and Jon's meal. Trixie was about to walk over to her when a voice calling out grabbed her attention.

"Great and Powerful Trixie!" Nathan called out. "Come play with us!"

"Yeah!" Maggie yelled. "Look, look, look! You can have three players."

Tilting her head to the side, Trixie caught a glimpse of what they were playing. To her, it was an incomprehensible mess of flashy lights and sounds on the television which depicted a pair of miniature humans walking across screen, occasionally ducking and dodging their way through obstacles and various creatures. She saw absolutely no appeal in it.

Getting up from her seat, Maggie paused her game and rushed over to Trixie with the intent on swooping her away to play them. Before she could even get a third of way to her, Trixie used her magic to lift her in the air and place her down next her brother who was giggling along with her sister at the spectacle.

"Wow there, sweetheart,” she said in soft tone. “Just give me a moment get ready."

"But you will play with us right!" Nathan asked.

"Uh, sure but give me a minute first," Trixie said "I need to eat and have a talk with your mother."

"What about?" a very pesky Maggie asked.

"It's about your father," Trixie answered.

"Is Daddy in trouble?" Nathan asked. In response to this, Trixie walked up to both kids and took turns ruffling each of their heads in a playful manner.

"Yes he is," Trixie said in a joking tone. "And when he comes down here I'm going to beat him up...would you like to see that?"

"Yeah!" Both kids answered with hearty laughs.

"Alright, you kids continue playing...whatever this is, and I'll be back soon," Trixie said before walking off to the dining table where Tracey had already sat down to eat.

"So," Tracey said as she swallowed a helping of food. "What's this I hear about you beating up my husband?"

"Actually, I'm here to tell you that Stewart is sick," Trixie said as she poured herself a glass of water. "We uh...crossed paths upstairs and he didn't look so well...you might want to consider giving him some medicine."

"Hm! Thanks for the tip," Tracey said with a mouth partially filled with masticated food. "It is getting to that time of year." Getting up from her seat, she quickly but steadily made her way to an adjacent cabinet filled with medicine and first aid. She picked up a bottle of something and came back to find that Trixie had already started on her breakfast.

"Thanks for the tip," Tracey said. "Jon’s too prideful to admit when he's gotten ill so he never tells me." She watched Trixie consume a mouthful of food and waited until the mare swallowed before continuing their conversation.

"You know, dear, if you were so worried about Jon's health you could have given him the medicine yourself," Tracey said with a smile.

Trixie looked up from her plate at Tracey before arrogantly rolling her eyes.

"Not you too...Okay, first of all I am not worried about Stewart's wellbeing," she said before taking a sip of her water and throwing her nose in the air. "I am simply telling you know this so he doesn't spread his sickness to the rest of us."

Using her magic, she levitated a piece of her food into her mouth.

"And as for why I didn't give it to him myself, well...he's a big boy. If he needs medicine he can get it himself." She continued. "I'm just telling you as a courtesy."

After she was done explaining herself, Trixie went back to eating while Tracey gave a tired sigh and, with a playful smile, shook her head at the pony across the table.

"Trixie, honey...I love you, but sometimes you're as transparent as that glass of water," she said, motioning to Trixie’s drink. "You don't have to distance yourself like this...trust me when I say you're safe here."

"Hmph. I have no idea what you're talking about," Trixie said, scrunching her nose in protest. In response to this, Tracey reached over and put a gentle hand on her free hoof.

"What I'm talking about is...it's okay to let your guard down every now and again." Tracey continued. "I understand what you've gone through...I remember the day Jon brought you home; he told me about your past."

As if she didn't want to answer, Trixie took an extra second to finish the food in her mouth, taking slow bites and finally swallowing.

"Then you know where I'm coming from," Trixie said. "Things don't change...people don't change."

"Nonsense. Of course they do," Tracey assured her, now using her hand to gently rub Trixie’s hoof. "What happened to you before...that will not happen here."

Trixie was skeptical and wanted to reject the notion. She felt that she was wrong, but a part of her actually believed her.

"Trixie...we all love you here...especially Jon." She continued, her voice soft and caring. "If he had his way, he'd keep you around for as long as he could."

Taking her hoof back, Trixie looked away.

"You don't know that." She argued.

"Oh but I do. He thinks the world of you...as do the rest of us," Tracey said in an almost desperate tone. "He thinks of you not as a friend...but like one of his own children."

The thought was nice enough for Trixie to not say anything, but instead think it over in her head.

"You may not believe it right now, but someday you will," Tracey said as she took a bite of her meal. "You know...if he had to...he'd risk his life for you."

Upon hearing this, Trixie took another sip of her water, purposefully taking longer than normal for a drink. Eventually, she finished it off and took a deep breath.

"I'll get you another glass," Tracey said with a smile as she took the Unicorn's glass and went to the kitchen. When she returned, they continued their breakfast and talked no more about it.

For the next few minutes the two sat in silence, enjoying their meals. This was done solely on the part of Tracey to give her friend some time to think. It wasn't an awkward silence, or even a peaceful one, what with the children occasionally squealing at the television, which was playing chipper music. The two just ate with Trixie occasionally looking up at Tracey, who in return, would give her a warm smile.

After a while, someone did eventually speak; it was Tracey, but it wasn't to engage Trixie in another conversation, but rather to just throw a question out into the void.

"Where is that husband of mine?" she asked. "He's been upstairs for quite a while not." Almost as if that was her signal, Trixie's right ear twitched a few times.

"He's actually on his way down now," Trixie said.

"He is?" Tracey asked. "How can you tell?"

"I can hear him," Trixie answered. Putting her utensils down, she looked over her shoulder at the stairs, then went back to eating. "He's coming down the stairs now."

Tilting her head to the side, Tracey looked over at the stairs, but she couldn't hear anything but her kids in the background.

"I don't hear anything?" she said "Are you sure it's—"

"GAAAAAAAAAH!" a voice screamed from the staircase.

"I'm sure," Trixie said with a smirk.

"Grah!" the voice continued. "Son of a...POOP!"

Tracey got up and rounded the table just in time to see what had happened. She caught Jon hopping up on one leg, digging a piece of plastic out of his foot. She cringed at the sight of it for she, as does any parent, knew the intense amount of pain that came with what Jon had just experienced. He had stepped barefoot on a Lego piece. He was wearing a simple grey T-shirt and a pair of jeans since he didn't need to wear a suit until he got on camera. About the only thing he wasn't wearing were shoes.

"You ok, sweetie?" Tracey asked.

"Yeah...I'll be fine," Jon said from the bottom the stairs. He had sat down and was now rubbing his throbbing foot, cursing the day he ever bought his son that Lego set. He turned his head to face his two children, who were still playing their game. "Nate what have I told you about putting your toys away?"

"Sorry, Daddy," Nathan said, his eyes still fixated on the screen.

Getting up, Jon limped his way to the table where he sat down next to Trixie who had not yet finished her food. He recalled what she had told him about what his breakfast would be, so while Tracey had her back turned, he leaned back and reached over behind Trixie. He tapped her on shoulder, causing her to look bewilderingly to her side, where she saw nothing. While she was distracted he reached over and tried to grab one of her helpings of ham. But just before he could a hand swooped in gave him a slap on the wrist.

"Oh no you don't!" Tracey said. "This is your breakfast!" With her other hand she quickly slid a plate in front of him which contained a handful of granola and an apple. With a sigh, Jon looked at his plate, then back at Trixie, who had now scooted slightly to the side and pushed her plate further from his grasp.

"Can I have cereal instead?" Jon asked with a comically begging face.

Tracey looked at the cereal selection; none of them carried the heart healthy logo.

"I don't think so," she huffed.

"Oh come on, Tracey!" Jon begged. She gave him a stone cold look, which meant that she wasn't going to budge. Once Jon ran out of options, he lightly lifted his leg. "My foot hurts." To really sell it, Jon gave a pouting face which only worked on Tracey one out of ten times...he got lucky.

"Alright, alright. Go ahead," she said with a dismissive gesture.

Like a child being told they could open a present early, Jon got up and carefully inspected each cereal box on display nearby to see which one he wanted most. Eventually, he chose the one he assumed to have the most sugar.

He sat back down, this time on the other end of Trixie, and poured a large helping of his desired brand into a bowl, whereupon he got back up again to go grab the last carton of milk from the fridge. When he sat back down, he eagerly opened the mouth and tiled the container over his crunchy treat...only to realize there was barely any milk left.

"Dammit," he said under his breath. Before he could do anything else, Tracey quickly grabbed his bowl of dry cereal and replaced it with the plate of the granola and apple.

"Okay, now can I have some ham and waffles?" Jon asked sheepishly.

"It's either this or oatmeal," Tracey answered.

"Uh never mind!” he said in a panic. "I'll eat it!"

"This too," she added, putting two medical pills in front of him, but not before giving him a peck on the head. Before finally getting around to eating his breakfast Jon looked over to his side where Trixie was about halfway through with her last waffle. Again, she scooted away from him, only this time she wasted no time in devouring the rest of it.

With a sigh, Jon scooped a handful of his granola into him mouth, slowly chewing to make sure he ground them all up good and proper. While this happened, Trixie and Tracey were off to the side doing the dishes, and since Trixie was considerably shorter she used her magic to dry off dishes and place them in there correct place.

Halfway during this session, the phone rang, and Tracey left the rest of the detailing in the hoofs of Trixie. When she answered the phone a loud and somewhat frantic voiced boomed forth. Through the back and forth between it and Tracey, the person on the other end did most of the talking, while Tracey said nothing more than "okay" or "I see."

She hung up the phone and dashed across the room to grab her purse and keys.

"Who died?" Jon asked.

"Oh no, that was just my boss," she said. "There was an emergency at work and they're calling me in today...Trixie?"

"I'm on it," Trixie said as she walked over to tell the kids what was happening. This was one case where having Trixie in the family was a huge benefit. On rare occasions where Tracey or Jon would get called to work early, or on a day they were not scheduled, they would usually end up arguing on who would watch the kids. Thanks to the blue unicorn’s presence, that whole uncomfortable dispute was now avoided.

"Okay, I'll probably be back around five so don't worry about dinner," Tracey called out as she made her way to the door. "Trixie, you're in charge while Jon and I are out...and don't let Jon eat any greasy food...also don't believe him if he says it's for some kind of skit for the show, ‘cause that's a lie." Before leaving, she shot Jon a look to behave.

"Alright, alright I get it...knock em out, babe," Jon said.

"Bye bye, kids!" she said to her children, who were still playing their game.

And with that, Tracey flew out the front door and into her vehicle. Jon waited until he heard the car leave the driveway before getting up and making his way towards the window. Once he was sure she was gone, he ran back to the kitchen and yanked open an overhead cabinet, grabbing a large bag of potato chips that he had stashed in the back.

"Heh, heh, heh," he said gleefully. "Still here!" Grabbing the top of the precious bag, he made plans to open it and maybe enjoy it with some garlic dipping sauce, but before he could even sit back down, it flew from his hands and across the room like a bird freed from a cage. It eventually stopped, but was remained hovering in the air just above Trixie, who was shaking her head.

"Uh, uh, uh, Stewart," she said with judging eyes. Before Jon could protest, her horn's magic changed in pulse, causing the salty snack to seemingly vanish into thin air. "Tracey's orders. No fat foods."

To show he was no match, he threw his hands in the air like he was getting arrested.

"Okay, Johnny law I'm sorry," he said. Feeling that his day wasn't going to get any better from there, he slowly walked backwards to where his shoes were. "I think this is my cue." Putting his shoes on, Jon made his way to the door.

"Okay kids, I'm going to work," he shouted. "While I'm away, be sure to be nice to Trixie and do whatever she says, okay?"

Like with their mother, the two children didn't say anything. The only sound coming from that area was the television.

"Damn thing’s going to replace me someday," he said.

As Jon closed the door behind him, both Nathan and Maggie paused their game to address their now-babysitter.

"Now will you play with us!?" Nathan asked while his sister grabbed another controller.

"Just give me one more minute," Trixie answered. "I need to finish those dishes." She walked away to a chorus of groans from the two children and back to the sink. She was just about finished when her ear began to flap and tilt to one side. She heard someone coming up to the door at a quick pace.

Before she could check to see who it was, the door flung open and someone walked in without a word.

"Hi daddy!" Maggie said from the other side of the room. Trixie watched as Jon walked passed her to the kitchen phone and yanked it off the wall.

"Back already, Stewart," Trixie asked.

"Car's down," he said. "It has a flat and I'm all out of spars...calling Tracey to see if she can't swing by and drop me off."

He stood there tapping his foot against the ground for a few seconds, but to his dismay she never picked up. He tried again, but like before, it eventually went to voicemail.

"Great...just great. Now I have to call a cab," Jon said with a groan. "Ugh! I hate calling a cab at this hour." Rather than dialing the number right away Jon sat down in a nearby chair and rubbed his hands against his tired face, leaving them there as he took a moment to keep himself calm.

Since this didn't involve Trixie all that much, she hopped down from the stool she used as a boost to do the dishes and trotted over to the kids, who were still waiting for her. Before actually making it to the other side of the room, she stopped and made a face like somehow this was all her fault.

She turned around to see Jon, still in the same, slumped over position as when she left him. Although she didn't like to show or admit it, she didn't like to see him this way; she liked him better when he was spirited and lively. When he was like this, it just made her sad. Had she'd been anyone else she would've offered him a ride, but lacking any means of doing so, she decided to help the only way she knew how.

"Stewart?" Trixie said. "A word please."

"Not now Trix; I'm not in the mood," he said.

"Would you just listen?!" she barked. Following her command, Jon looked up at Trixie, who looked like she was a kid who had forgotten her lines they had been about to perform on stage.

"Look...I...I want to help you," she said, scared that her proposal would get rejected. "If you'll allow me I can...uh...I can just...teleport you to work." Upon Hearing this, Jon's eyes were now locked on her, but visually he didn't look convinced.

"Really? Are you sure...you can even do that right now?" he asked

"Well of course I can!" she yelled before clearing her throat. "I am...the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

After her usual declaration, she noticed that Jon still had an unconvinced look on his face, like a manager at a store looking over a potential employee's substandard resume. Her statement in it of itself wasn't enough for him, which in turn caused Trixie to further explain herself.

"Ugh, I've been to your office before remember?" she clarified. "And I do have some magic left over, so I'm sure I can send you to work...if you'll let me, that is?"

Without even thinking about it, Jon jumped up from his seat so fast he nearly fell over. He ran across the room and with a clap of his hands stood straight up and closed his eyes.

"Alright!" he exclaimed. "Let's do this!"

"Oh uh...right!" Trixie said, surprised by how quickly he trusted him, considering the last time he tried to teleport him somewhere for work. "Are you...um, you trust me?"

"Sure I do," Jon said with a smile, which momentarily made Trixie feel warm inside. For the second time today, Trixie had the potential to be largely beneficial and Jon wasn't going to pass up that chance. "Now come on, I don't have all day."

"Um just stay still and let me concentrate," she ordered. In preparation, Jon began to walk back and forth with his eyes constantly staring at her horn.

"Would you stop moving around!?" Trixie barked. "It'd help me if you stood still."

"Okay, okay, sorry!" Jon said, stopping in place on the other side of the room, which caused her to sigh.

"It would also help if you'd come a little bit closer," she added. "It'll work better in close proximity." He obliged and walked right up to her. She was about to comment that he was too close but at this point, just wanted to get this over with.

With that, the room fell to total silence. Even the television in the back stopped making noise, since at this time the kids had paused their game and were now looking from the other side of the couch, not wanting to miss the spectacle that was Trixie using her magic.

Her horn began to fluctuate with magic in a faster and faster rate. To pass the time Jon tried counting the how long it would take for something to happen. At about thirteen seconds, Jon could feel a slight change in temperature and atmosphere like someone had replaced the air in the room with another brand of oxygen. This feeling lasted for a moment before it completely took over.

When he opened his eyes he found himself in a pitch black environment instead of a bright flash of light like what usually happened.

"Okay, what the hell?" he thought to himself.

He tried taking step forward, but he stepped on something like some kind of container.

"Hey!" he yelled out. "Is anyone here?"

When no one called back, Jon dug into his pocket and pulled out a lighter he always kept, just in case. After a couple of attempts, he managed to create a tiny flame which illuminated his present location: a tiny enclosure filled with cleaning supplies and a mop.

Immediately Jon recognized where he was. Trixie had indeed teleported him to the Daily Show headquarters, but instead of appearing on stage or in his office, he had reappeared inside the Janitor's closet.

"Well..." Jon said with a sigh. "At least this time it wasn't Cloudsdale."

Turning around, he spotted the door which led to a hallway to the main office space. He grabbed the door handle and pushed forward, but that only caused him to smack his face against its wooden frame. Just his luck; the door was locked.

"This day...cannot get any more worse," He groused as he began to bang on the door for help.

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Unexpected visitor

For a brief moment, Jon thought his day had made a turn for the better when Trixie agreed to send him to work. This way he got to save time, money, and got to brag to his superiors that the arrived to work that morning by way of a magic spell.

Unfortunately for Jon, he was teleported right in the middle of a locked broom closet and it took nearly a half hour before an intern found him, whereupon he made a very predictable "coming out of the closet" joke. Things weren't going very well.

His day continued to be a cavalcade of woe when he learned of the new staff and crew he'd be working with. Since they had come back from their winter break hiatus, and some nearby universities were entering in a new semester, the studio had hired a new gaggle of interns. All of whom needed Jon to either sign off on something (usually a contract that proved they were working for free in order to gain college credits) or need a tour of the office.

From there Jon couldn't even reach his office before having to give a speech to some new staff hands. Not to mention older staff members complained that while they were away, some of the equipment went missing, probably a result of their studio getting an upgrade in some departments, but it was still just as annoying.

Jon was always willing to lend a helping hand to struggling intellectuals in the area, but in a lot of cases they were as lost as an inbred goat and about just as reliable. Though that didn't stop him from grabbing an older on-hand intern from last year, filling him in on what was going on, then leaving him to escort the new interns around the building. Some might've called that the blind leading the blind, but Jon called it a willful distribution of power.

With the rest of his staff clamoring to get things in order for tonight's show, Jon fled to the safety and pseudo-serenity of his office. Walking across the threshold of his personal sanctuary was like walking into another world. Whereas the main studio was loud and hot with everyone running around, his office was vacant and had a constant stream of cold air fluctuating all around him.

With a sigh of relief, he sat down in his lumpy chair, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. At this time in the day the light from a window was bouncing off one of the awards that adorned his wall and onto his face, so he shifted in his seat to avoid it. The ceiling fan just above him was swirling at a medium pace and he followed one of the blades with his eyes as it spun around and around.

After some reflection on his part, he was glad that he didn't make today an Equestria interview. He still wasn't feeling well and things were so chaotic at the moment that he wasn't sure he could do it any justice. Instead, for today, he was going to interview some author he’d never heard of who’d written a book that he'd never heard of, but only just read last night.

As he continued to look upwards, he began to feel dizzy at the sight of the spinning fan, so to remedy this, he leaned forward and, placing his elbows on his desk, began to rub his temples. In hindsight, he regretted not asking Trixie if she knew a spell that could cure his illness, even if it wasn't that bad.

Jon still had some papers he needed to fill out on his desk, but he tempted fate by seeing how long he could put off actually doing them. He looked at the stacks of stationary and found a better use for them. He piled them up into a little makeshift pillow and laid his head on it. He was perfectly content with just staying like that, but before he could even begin to enjoy it, there was a knock on his door.

It was an intern asking for further assistance on his hours by arrangement. Like a groundhog, Jon popped his head out of his office to help her. After he was done, another intern came from seemingly out of nowhere and asked for assistance regarding the same matter. This continued... over and over again. Person after person popping up from their desks like ducks on a targeting range whenever they saw Jon.

Jon was practically forced to leave the safety of his office and head back out into the pool of employers. He kept promising himself that right after he helped this intern he'd return to his desk, but several hours passed, and to his dismay, he was actually now officially working. He went from department to department either showing some new guy the ropes or coordinating with an older staff member on what needed to be done. He did manage to get to return to his office once or twice, but as soon as he did he was called out again.

Finally, after awhile everything was running smoothly, or at least smoothly enough for him to get back to his office. Looking to the clock, he could now see it was midafternoon. With a grunt of pain, he dragged himself to his office door, across the room to his desk, approached his uncomfortable chair and threw himself down upon it. His pillow of papers was still looking up and him; each of which needed his signature. Without even a second thought he laid his head upon it.

He could almost feel himself slipping away when an ominous and horrible sound pierced the air. Someone was knocking on his door again.

"Go awaaaay," Jon moaned from his seat. "No one here but us mice." Whoever it was on the other side knocked again, but this time she called out.

"It's me," a female said from behind the door. Even with Jon being away from the office for so long, he could still recognize that voice anywhere.

"Come in," he said, his voice muffled by his papers. Stepping into his office was his longtime assistant, Selina Jenson, who in contrast to Jon, looked as professional as she could with her long hair in a proper bun and her black pants suit neatly pressed. She had her clipboard with her, which had countless notes scribbled all over it.

"You have a phone call," she said, getting straight to the point.

"Tell em I'm not here," Jon said, making a motion with his hand for her to go away. "If they ask, just say I'm stuck in traffic or I'm dead."

"I...think you'll want to take this one," Selina said, sounding somewhat concerned. Using whatever energy he had left, Jon turned his head to the side to get a look at her; still refusing to actually get up.

"Who is it?" he asked, determined to not take it no matter who it was.

"It's...her royal Highness," she answered. Immediately, Jon sat straight up with a look of shock on his face. At this hour, there was a slew of regulars who called him, each with their own personal agenda, but this was entirely different. Except for only one instance a few months back, this had never happened before so naturally Selina had Jon's attention.

"Wait!" Jon said, sitting up. He paused to collect his thoughts while a piece of paper that was hanging to the side of his face fell down to his feet. "Princess Celestia?"

"That's who she said she was," Selina answered.

"Princess Celestia is calling...me?" Jon ventured further. When he got a nod as a reply, a sudden smile appeared on his face. "G-great! Patch her through!"

As soon as Selina left to her office to make the transfer happen, Jon sat up in his chair and began to manually brush his hair back and organize his desk as if she was about to appear in person. Once he was satisfied with his cosmetic changes, he eagerly awaited for his desk phone to receive the person that was currently on hold.

A few seconds later his phone began to ring, which was still a surprise despite the fact that he had been expecting it. Without a second’s hesitation, he quickly grabbed the phone as if doing so was a life or death moment. Almost immediately, Jon could feel a sense of unfamiliarity like he had gone to his favorite restaurant, but it had been recently renovated and nothing looked the same.

For one, this time he was the one who answered first, instead of it being the other way around. That and usually he would communicate with her at home where he was more comfortable as opposed to right in the middle of work. Even the call itself sounded different. Usually, it was silent with nothing but the princess' voice being heard, only now, Jon could hear a commotion in the background. Perhaps she was having a busy day too.

But all at once, all these new sensations were blown away once he heard the unmistakable soothing tone of his good friend and business partner.

"Hello, Mr. Stewart," Celestia said. "My it has been awhile, hasn't it?"

"Celestia! You have no idea how nice it is to hear from you," Jon said, standing up to sit atop his desk. How the hell are ya!? You must be pretty bored over there if you're the one calling me."

"Yes, yes. I realize I've never called you before, but I assure you I do so with only the best intentions in mind," she said in a calm, yet passionate voice. "I wouldn't dream of wasting your time."

"Celestia, my friend, there is absolutely no need to apologize! I always welcome the chance to talk to my favorite other worldly god," Jon said with a laugh. "Also, what do you mean 'never called me before'...remember the time you called to get Mayor Mare on my show?"

"Oh yes of course!" she said in an apologetic tone while Jon sifted in on desk. "It's...been a long day."

"I know exactly how you feel!" Jon said, making a noise like he'd been doing some heavy lifting. "Which is why I'm glad to hear from you...it's always good to hear from a friend to break the mundanity of it all."

"We all have those days," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Even myself if you can believe that...and for the record, I only asked for Mayor Mare to appear on your show because I thought she'd be an excellent pony to interview."

"Well, you weren't wrong, that's for sure!" Jon said with a laugh. "If I remember correctly, her appearance had a rather large amount of viewers...mostly poly majors I'd wager."

"Well I'm sure she appreciated the attention it earned her," Celestia responded. "Matter of fact, shortly afterwards she won her bid for re-election."

"No kidding!?" Jon said. "Did she mention me in her acceptance speech?"

"Well...I'm afraid I'm not sure," Celestia responded tenderly. "But since we're on the topic...that's kinda why I've called you today."

"You called me to discuss Mayor Mare?" Jon said quizzically.

"No, not exactly...I'm actually calling you because I know a pony who would just be perfect for your show," she said. "She's more than willing to appear for tonight's episode and I can guarantee she'd bring with her a huge increase in viewers!"

Her proposal took Jon by surprise. For one thing, Celestia was well aware that he detested other people giving their input on who he should have on his show: a pet peeve long before they had ever met.

"You...want me to interview a certain pony?" Jon asked, just to make sure he understood her.

"Yes, this is correct, Mr. Stewart," Celestia assured him. "If you did this for me I'd consider it a personal favor...and like I said, I guarantee that the rating for your show will rise beyond your wildest dreams if you accept my offer."

Admittedly, the prospect of having an interview with a pony so popular that his viewership increased, did sound appealing, not only to Jon, but for those that Jon worked for as well. Whenever it was that time of the year where different networks were competing with each other over for viewers, Jon's producers urged him to interview a pony and to make sure said pony had a big name.

The last time Comedy Central killed in the ratings was when Jon interviewed Rainbow Dash, which had raised the network’s ratings to the highest that week. But with the holiday season long gone, Jon didn't need that boost just yet. He had already started the New Year with an Equestrian Interview in the form of Fancy Pants, so for now he was fine; he liked to stagger out these kinds of events further apart when he could.

"Well Celestia...as much as I'm...deeply flattered by your concern for my well-being, I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your offer. I don't really need an Equestrian interview at the moment, nor am feeling up for the task," he said. Getting up now, he walked over to the other end of his office and peered through his window and his many employees scrambling around like chickens with their heads cut off. "Plus, I don't think my staff is well prepared either. We have a lot of new interns starting today and things are hectic...but again, I am very thankful for your input but right now is just not a good time."

There was a silence on the other end of the line, though Jon could still tell that the line was open, because he could hear a rustling in the background.

"Celestia?" Jon said. He paused, and still no one answered, but the commotion continued in the back. "Are you still there?" It took a few seconds, but eventually someone was back on the phone.

"Yes I'm still here," the familiar soothing voice said. "And you’re absolutely certain you don't need my help?" The way she phrased her question made Jon feel somewhat guilty, like he was talking to his Jewish grandmother. Be nevertheless, he was steadfast in his refusal.

"Yeah I'm sure but, don't think I don't appreciate what you're trying to do," he answered, making sure to sounds as respectful as possible. "I promise I'll take your suggestion under advisement for next time...now I hate to sound rude, but I am on a tight schedule right now so unless there's anything else I'd—"

"Actually there is," Celestia interrupted. "You said you had some new interns coming in today right?"

"Yes. I did," Jon answered.

"Well as it just so happens I think I can help you with that as well," she continued. "You see...there is this unicorn down in Ponyville who would just love to visit you. Her name is Lyra Heartstrings, I don't if you've ever met her but—"

"I actually have," Jon interjected. "Not too long ago when I vacationed in Ponyville we uh...met." Jon sat back down, rubbing his stomach; he could still remember the pain of her spirited introduction.

"Well that's good to hear. She's actually a huge fan of yours and I know she would just love to visit," Celestia continued.

"With all due respect, Celestia...how does this help me with my intern dilemma?" he asked, now starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. He took one look out his window from where he was sitting to see a new trainee drop a huge stack of papers. "Because right now...the way I see, adding a talking pony to the equation would just cause more chaos."

"Hear me out...you have new humans working under you at the moment correct?" Celestia said. "Well wouldn't it be in their best interest to see a pony now and get some experience since they'll have to at some point." Jon took a moment to think about this, rocking back and forth while massaging his forehead.

"That's...actually not such a bad idea," he said.

"Exactly! I'd imagine it'd be easier for them since, like you said, this wouldn't be an actual interview," she added.

"And you’re sure this is okay with Lyra?" Jon asked. "I mean, being called to another world just for show and tell?"

"Oh of course it is!" she assured him. "She's actually very interested in Human mythology so this is just as much a benefit for you as it is for her."

"And she'll understand that this is just a visit, right?" he asked. "...No interview?"

"No interview," she repeated back. Jon leaned back in his seat and began to stroke his chin. He weighed the pros and cons of this proposal and came to a conclusion.

"Alright, I'm in," Jon said as he motioned for Selina to head to the dressing room. "Teleport her to our usual spot and I'll make sure to bring her up to speed."

"Excellent!" Celestia said. "I'm glad we could work this out...you won't regret it." Before Jon could say his goodbyes, Celestia ended the call, leaving only a dial tone to fill the void. Feeling slightly odd about this, Jon placed the phone back down and gave a nonchalant shrug. He got up and began to clean up his desk so it'd look more presentable for his upcoming guest.

For the next ten or so minutes, Jon sat at his station and filled out some papers and signed off on some hours by arrangement contracts while he waited for his guest to arrive. The only sound was that of his employees and colleagues scrambling around outside. A collection of people talking, papers shuffling, and computers keyboards clattering.

It was a sound Jon knew all too well, which is why his attention was immediately grabbed when all of it came to a stop. Jon looked up to peak outside the window of his office. He caught a glimpse of young men and women frozen in time as they all stared, their heads slowly turning in the same direction. It was a look he'd seen before...the same look he himself would get from ponies back in Equestria.

Now the only sound that could be heard was footsteps that became easier to hear as time passed. Soon, the door to his office opened and in came his faithful assistant, followed by a mint green unicorn with white-streaked hair. It was indeed the same pony who accidentally attacked Jon the last time he was in Ponyville, on vacation.

"Girls, it's about time! I'm just kidding, welcome, welcome," Jon said with a nervous smile. Getting up, he made his way to the door. "Please, make yourself at home...gimme one second."

Before continuing, Jon poked his head outside to shoo away his staff, calling out for them to get back to work. He closed the blinds to his office as to not distract them for the time being, since they'd get their chance soon enough to interact with Lyra.

Once he was satisfied that they had some privacy, he moved to the front of his desk with which to lean his back on.

"Alright! Lyra, so good to see you again!" he said. Leaning forward, he offered her his hand, but she didn't shake it. Instead she began to walk around the room, looking in different directions. "So uh yeah...uh it’s been awhile, Miss…uh miss…I’m sorry but I’m afraid I’ve already forgotten your last name.”

Jon purposely forgot because he wanted to encourage her to speak but Lyra didn't, as she was too busy examining the small room. Instead, it was his assistant who answered his question.

“Heartstrings,” she said

“Ah that’s right, Heartstrings,” Jon said. “How have you been? How are things back home?”

Again Jon asked his question and again Lyra didn't speak. In response to this, Jon looked over to Selina, who looked back and gave him a shrug. She was just as confused as he was.

"Right...so anyway I'm sure Celestia had already told you this but you are here today as a sort of a...uh practice run, I guess you could say, for my employees." He continued. "At some point we'll have you go around, maybe introduce yourself, and my interns will learn what it will be like to attend to the needs of an Equestrian citizen. If we have time, and with your permission, I'd also like to have the makeup girl to teach some student's how to manage a pony's mane."

When Lyra still didn't respond Jon just chalked it up to her being nervous, though even for someone like Jon, who'd only known her very briefly, that seemed very uncharacteristic of her.

"So...do you have any questions for me?" Jon asked to try and get her to come out of whatever shell she was behind.

"So this really is the human world?" Lyra said. Her sudden question startled both Jon and Selina slightly.

"Um...yes, yes it is," he answered.

"And you're really Jon Stewart?" she continued.

"Well, that's what it says on the inside of my underwear," Jon joked to ease the tension in the room. No one laughed. "So...are you clear with what will happen today?"

"Yeah, you want to prance me about like some kind of show pony for all you humans to stare at." She responded in a cold low tone. "Am I right?" The way she said it made Jon feel defensive about what he actually wanted which came out in the tone of his voice.

"O-o-oh no! No, no, not at all!" Jon assured her. He began to wonder if Celestia ever consulted her about this. "I simply want the chance for my staff and crew to get acquainted with ponies from your world! If you're uncomfortable with all this this I'll understand if you want to go back home."

"Oh no...I understand what's going on here," Lyra said with a smile.

"Oh....ok good," Jon said with a sigh of relief. "So...any other questions."

"Just one," Lyra said. "When can I expect to go on stage?"

"Oh you want to see what the stage looks like?" Jon asked.

"No," Lyra said. "I mean when can I expect to go on TV...as the pony you are to interview."

"Oh no, Lyra this visit isn't for an appearance," he challenged. "I said you're here only for observation...you're free to walk around and such but you're not going on live TV." Lyra stopped scoping out Jon's office and slowly turned around to look at him with narrowed eyes.

"Oh I know what you said. But now I'm saying that you are going to have me on your show." She spoke in a rough tone, like she'd been arguing this for hours.

"Well I'm sorry Lyra, but that's not going to happen," Jon said in a stern voice to try and match hers.

"Well then," Lyra said with an evil grin. "I guess I'll just have to make you then." For a fraction of a second, Jon could swear her eyes lit up, but he quickly dismissed it and continued his scolding.

"You know what, Lyra, I don't have to do anything for you!” Jon said in an angry tone that very few people ever heard. "I only agreed to let you come here as a favor to Celestia but if this is how you're going to act then I'm afraid I'm going to ask to you leave!"

"Sit down, human," Lyra said dangerously. Ignoring her, Jon motioned to Selina, who was still in the room.

"Selina, could you please escort Ms. Heartstrings back to the dressing room while I call Celestia to pick to pick her up?" Jon said, prompting Selina to move towards Lyra. Selina bent over and was about to place a hand on her shoulder when she stopped midway like she was frozen in ice.

Before Jon could pick up the phone, he noticed this and waited until she did something, but she never did.

"Selina, what are you doing?" he asked. "Would you please escort our...friend out of here?" Slowly Jon noticed that his assistant was shaking, as if she were cold. Most notably, her hand, which looked like it was trying, and failing to move.

"Selina?" Jon asked in a worried tone. "What's the matter with you?" Slowly her mouth began to move.

"Jon," she said like she struggling to breathe. "I...can't....move."

Before Jon could react, Lyra swung her head to the side, causing Jon's assistant to go flying through the air, where she bounced off a wall, knocking over a few awards in the process. She thudded to the floor and rolled onto her face, unconscious.

"Selina!" Jon yelled.

"Sit down, human." Lyra repeated herself. Ignoring her yet again, Jon ran across the room the see if Selina was okay. But before he could get even remotely close, he stopped in the tracks. He could feel a coldness running through him as if someone was injected ice water into his veins; he couldn't move, though he tried desperately to. Using all his strength, he tried to advance forward but he couldn't move an inch.

"I said...Sit. Down!" Lyra yelled. With a quick pulse of magic, Jon was now being hurdled across the room himself. Unlike Selina, however, he landed awkwardly back in his seat. He tried getting up but some unknown force pinned him down.

Quickly and without warning, Lyra had teleported onto his desk and was now looking him straight in the eyes, smiling a most evil smile.

"Now then," Lyra said. "About you not wanting me on your show...let's see if we can't change that."

Her eyes began to glow a shade of green, and had Jon possessed a mirror, he would have seen that his eyes were now glowing the same color. Slowly, his vision began to distort. He felt as if a thin layer of slime was being drenched on him and sensation of sleep, and yet at the same time there was a tingling sensation within his head.

He tried fighting it, and to his relief his vision came back to normal only, now Lyra was staring at him, looking very cross.

"Damn," she said. "Still not strong enough for that."

"Lyra," Jon said, feeling exhausted. "Why are you doing this?"

"Lyra?" she asked. Looking into Jon's eyes, she could now see herself. "Oh that's right, I'm still in character...allow me to slip into something more...comfortable."

Before Jon's eyes, Lyra's body began to change and contort, slowly morphing in both color and shape. Her faced warped and began to retake shape and her body grew and extra features began to spring forth like it was made of molding clay. Jon watched in horror as the tiny mint colored Unicorn transferred into a large black creatures complete with a jagged horn and wings that looked like that of an insect.

Whatever this new creature was, it had large fangs, bright green eyes, a long slender body mostly covered by her cerulean green hair and most notably of all, holes, holes that covered her entire body. With her transformation complete, she looked back and the cowering human in front of her and gave him a smile to show off her teeth.

"What...what the hell are you?" Jon said, wide-eyed, his body no longer spellbound.

"My name is Queen Chrysalis," the creature said with a smile. Slowly she lowered her head and pointed her jagged horn at Jon's face. "And from here on out, you're going to do exactly what I say, or else."

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Do exactly as I say.

Some days are worse than others. Some days you wake up and everything goes alright: weather's nice, you got a full eight hours of sleep, and you find that your favorite breakfast has been prepared: overall a good day. Then there are your bad days when you wake up late because your alarm clock didn't go off, on the way out you get your sleeve stuck in a door, and some unknown evil force from another realm invades your world, threatens your family, and tries take control of your body, all the while systematically trying to ruin your life, and then attempts to kill you: definitely an example of a time to maybe be using one of your "sick days".

Jon was trembling in his seat, looking down the pointy end of large horn being shoved in his face. He didn't know what was going on or who this pony was, but what he did know was she must have gone through some incredible lengths to get here, and for what? To get on his show? Jon was just so unsure. He racked his mind, trying to comprehend how a relatively bumpy morning could lead to this.

"Wha...what do you want from me?" Jon said, his hands in the air to show he would not fight back. "What have you done with Lyra?"

"Lyra is safe, for now...and as for what I want it's simple, human." Chrysalis said. "I want to be on our show." Jon prepared for the worst, but her request was oddly straight forward and didn't seem all that important, which is why he felt so confused. Other ponies before had tried to muscle their way onto his show, but never had someone threatened him to do so.

"T-thats it?" Jon asked, his eyes still on the sharp horn. "Why on earth do you want to be on my show so bad."

The evil queen lowered her head so her horn would be pressing up against his neck.

"That is not your concern," she said. "The only thing you should be worried about right now is your own safety...Do exactly as I say and no harm will come to you."

Just then, however both of them heard a noise from the other end of the door, followed by a voice.

"Mr. Stewart?" one of Jon's interns called out, his voice soft. "We heard a noise like a crash or something...is everything alright."

Queen Chrysalis quickly turned her head to look at the door, giving Jon momentary relief. But before he could breathe, she swung back around and placed her horn back on his neck.

"Tell them...your fine," she said, pressing her horn even closer. Jon took a moment to think, but soon, his eyes wandered over to Selina, who was still on the ground; she looked hurt. He gulped, which only brought his throat closer to her sharp horn. He didn't want anyone else to get hurt, least of all his staff.

"I'm...I'm fine!" Jon called out. "I just dropped something...please get back to work."

There was a hint of nervousness in his voice, but it was difficult to hear from the other side of the door, so the intern thought nothing of it.

"Oh okay," he called back. "If you need anything." And with that, the sound of the intern walking away prompted Jon to let out a sigh of relief.

"Now then...where were we?" Chrysalis said with a grin. "Ah yes, that's right, my debut appearance."

"Please...just, please don't hurt anyone," Jon pleaded.

"Nopony else has to get hurt," Chrysalis said in an eerie tone. "As long as I get what I want, nothing bad will happen."

Jon was certain that whatever this thing was, it couldn't be trusted, since it had already gravely injured someone, but nevertheless, he vowed to do whatever it took to make sure no one else got hurt. He looked over at Selina, still lying on the floor, and felt guilty that she had been injured at his expense. Relief washed through him a moment later as she began to lift herself up.

Jon was about to call out but his faithful intern gave him a signal to stay quiet. She looked to be in bad shape but slowly and stealthy she walked across the room. Jon saw this and decided to stall for time.

"What do I have to do?" Jon asked the frightening beast.

"Again, it's simple," she answered. "All you have to do is interview me on your show...live in front the entire world."

Jon was only partially paying attention to her demands. He was too busying trying to not look around Chrysalis at Selina, who had now gone to the other side of the room to grab one of the many Emmy Awards that was displayed in his office.

"I will go on live television as the one called 'Lyra' and you will pretend that nothing is amiss," she continued. "Afterwards, I'll leave your world and you'll never see me again...sounds fair, no?"

Limping on one leg Selina made her way towards Chrysalis, brandishing the large golden statue in her hand.

"Tell me...why…why are you doing this?" Jon said, stalling for time. "You could have just made an appointment?"

"Cute...do I look like the kind of pony who will just willingly explain their entire plan?" she asked as Selina inched herself closer. "Again, you needn't concern yourself with why I'm doing this. All you need to worry about is putting on the best interview of your career...which reminds me..."

Bending her long neck over, she once again pointed her long horn right at Jon's face. It began to slowly pulse with magic, which set him nervous. Soon, a concentration of green magic began to form on the tip of her horn, and in a flash, it jumped at Jon, circling all around him.

In fear, he began to swat at it like it was an annoying fly, but soon it disappeared along with any sign that Jon was ever sick along with it. His nose was no longer running and his head felt clear like someone had flushed out the aches and pains. Whatever magic she used, it cured him of his mild cold.

"There we are, good as new." Chrysalis said with a smirk. "We can't have my interview being ruined by the host being sick now can we?"

Jon didn't know whether to be grateful or concerned. Had she just sneaked her way in for the sole purpose of being on the show, Jon might've considered it, but this thing went above and beyond that. She had threatened Jon and used her magic to harm Selina, who was now in a position to hit Chrysalis over the head with the Emmy Award.

Jon tried not to look but his curiosity got the better of him. For a brief second, he looked past the evil queen at his assistant, who was now a foot away from the intruder, raising her weapon high above her head. Unfortunately, Queen Chrysalis noticed Jon's wondering gaze and turned around accordingly.

"SELINA NOW!" Jon yelled. In one quick motion Selina swung the heavy object down, but it was no use. The Queen was faster.

A burst a of magic emanated from Chrysalis' horn, but since it happened in between her and Selina, Jon couldn't see what it was from his angle. Unlike before, where she used a spell to make Selina freeze in place, this time Chrysalis used some kind of magic that shot forth a series of green strand-like objects all around Jon's assistant.

The way the green filaments shot in the air looked remarkably like a party popper being set off, only instead of eventually falling gently to the ground, they engulfed Selina and carried her upwards to the ceiling. Jon watched in absolute horror as his dear friend was propelled upwards to the ceiling, her screams of fear quickly being muffled by the whatever it was that was wrapping around her.

Once everything was set and done, Jon looked on as Selina now hung upside down from the ceiling in what could only be described as a green cocoon filled with a kind of liquid. The look on her face was that of concentrated fear. She struggled to break free, but her prison was stronger than her, and her screams were only barely audible.

"SELINA!" Jon yelled.

"Sit down, human." Chrysalis said.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Jon said as he got up to help her down. Turning around, the queen glared at Jon with evil eyes.

"I SAID SIT DOWN!" she roared. Her eyes began to glow, as did her horn, and it was then that Jon felt his esophagus close up. Whatever she was doing was making it harder and harder for him to breathe. It was only when Jon sat back down did his airway clear up and he drew breath.

"Enough games!" she continued. "You will have me on your show or you'll suffer the same fate as your assistant!"

A hurricane of emotions swirled inside of Jon. He felt scared for his life, yet at the same time anger for what she had done to his longtime friend. He wanted to take a swing at her, but he knew if he even tried she would use some kind of magic to stop him.

"You won't get away with this," Jon said, eyes filled with contempt. "Celestia will find out what you're planning and will stop you!" His threats did very little to scare Chrysalis, if anything, they amused her.

"Celestia! You think I'm afraid of that royal simpleton?!" She laughed. "Please, human...I've dealt with her before and soon I will confront her again."

"It may be sooner than you think," he said. "Celestia thinks Lyra is only here for a quick visit...when she hasn't heard from me she'll know something is up."

"Actually...you are mistaken." She chuckled. "Celestia thinks Lyra is here for an interview...she won't expect to see me back for quite some time."

"Th...that's impossible!" he exclaimed. "I just talked with not fifteen minutes ago! We had an agreement about—"

Before he could finish, Queen Chrysalis began to laugh maniacally to herself. If Jon had said something funny, it was lost on him.

"You still believe you talked with Celestia!?" she blurted after she was done laughing. "You homosapiens really are stupid...tell me human...did your conversation go something like this..."

Taking a deep breath the corrupted Queen arched her neck back and closed her eyes. She began to clear her throat like had something stuck in it but soon she went back to looking at Jon.

"Hello Mr. Stewart...it is I...your dearest friend Celestia," Queen Chrysalis said, mimicking Celestia’s voice. "Listen, I have a favor to ask of you...there is this pony who is just dying to meet you."

Jon felt his heart sink into his stomach. The way she spoke sounded a lot like Celestia...in fact it sounded exactly like Celestia right down to the soothing tone that Jon loved so much.

"That....that was you," Jon said, his voice shaken with fear.

"That's riiiight," Chrysalis said. "And last night...Celestia got a call from you saying that you wanted Lyra on your show."

"No," he said.

"Oh yes," she corrected. "I believe you said something along the lines of..."

Again she took a deep breath and threw her head back. Jon knew what was coming and tried to brace himself accordingly, but when she began to speak, he was still taken by surprise.

"Hello your majesty it's me, Jon Stewart," Chrysalis said in Jon's voice. "Listen, I don't have much time right now because I'm so busy but could you please have Lyra Heartstrings sent to me tomorrow morning? I want her for my show."

Even if Jon wanted to get up and retaliate against his intruder, he wouldn't have been able to...his legs felt like they were made of Jello and he felt as if there was a heavy lump of red hot lead in his stomach. A now-terrified Jon tried to speak but he found that he had temporarily forgotten how to.

"H...h...ho....h-h-how—" Jon said before getting interrupted.

"How did I pull all this off? How did I trick both you and Celestia at the same time? It's simple...I used this!" Chrysalis said. Using her magic he produced a rectangular piece of metal from under her wing, she tossed it onto Jon's desk. "I believe you dropped this?"

It took a second for Jon to identify what Chrysalis had had in her possession. Once he did, however, he found himself breathing heavily, and in a state of distress as if she'd just thrown a ticking time bomb at him. The object before him was his own cellphone, which he had lost in Equestria when he accidentally had been teleported to Cloudsdale in search of Fluttershy.

"Where did you get that?" Jon asked. He scooted back in his chair as if it was about to blow.

"Oh this little thing...I found it," she said in an off putting tone. "Works just fine if you're wondering...you can have it back. I have no further use for it...but thanks ever so much for putting both yours and Celestia number in your contacts...it really helped me out a lot."

Jon said nothing. He had tried having his provider cancel his phone line, but they had trouble doing so; possibly because it was in another world. So he made plans to get a new one, but he never fully went through with it since it was a private line, which he rarely used, and not his professional number.

He was certain he'd never see his original phone again, but here it was....fully charged and by the looks of things, still fully functional. He tried reaching out to it but his hand refused to move.

"You know...I've actually been planning this for quite some time," Chrysalis continued. "But I never went through with it because I didn't know how exactly to get here...that and among other things, how to even begin to get on your show...but having this machine yours really helped speed things up."

Jon finally grabbed a hold of his phone...it felt cold in his hands like it had been left in a freezer. It was still functional but it now had scratches all over it.

"So...I think we're in an agreement here...you do what I say and nopony else has to suffer," Chrysalis said in the most smuggest of tones. "Now then, it has come to my attention that whenever you have a guest from Equestria, the real Princess Celestia likes to call in to confirm their safe arrival...in about a few minutes she’s going to do just that. When she calls you to make sure Lyra made it to your world alright, you will answer the phone and tell her that all is well and that you are thankful for her assistance...understand?"

Clenching the phone in his hand, Jon got up to try and match eye level with the demented creature; he was visibly angry. He did not like to be pushed around like this, and above all, he hated that she expected him to help her.

"And what if I don't?" Jon asked with gritted teeth. "What if instead I say...that you disguised yourself as Lyra and that you're trying to take over my show?"

Instead of trying to compete with his level of emotions, Chrysalis just laughed in his face and flew off the desk. She walked under the cocoon that held Selina and admired her handy work.

"You won’t," she said with much confidence.

"How can you be so sure!?" Jon said "All it'll take for Celestia to teleport herself here and kick your ass is one hint that I'm in trouble! Just one!"

With a chuckle, Chrysalis flew up to gently rub the cocoon that she had created like it was her grand masterpiece.

"Tell me human...do you have any children?" She asked a now stunned Jon Stewart. "Because I do...I have thousands of them...that's actually how I found your device." Using her magic, she commanded Jon's phone to come to her and it did. She began to examine it like an egg about to hatch.

"A truly wondrous device this is," she continued. "Did you know that you've stored quite a bit of information on this thing like...where you live, where you work, contacts for your friends, and the fact that...you have a wife and two kids."

Without even having to ask, Jon sat back down in his seat. He slumped in his chair as the gravity of the situation began to set in slowly and painfully. Jon only listened, which meant he didn't see Chrysalis use her hoof to cycle through picture after picture in his album application.

"Such beautiful children you have...says here their names are Maggie and Nathan...they can't be more than ten years old," she said in a tone that made Jon want to vomit. "And this must be your wife...I don't know much about human appearances but to me she doesn't look like much of a looker...you could have done better. Says here her name is Tracey McShane...and if I look up her profile it gives me her address as well as where you two live..."

"Please stop," Jon said. He tried to convince himself that none of this was happening...but it was.

"Now...here's what's going to happen...when Celestia calls, you're going to put on your best game face and tell here that Lyra has arrived safely and that everything is alright." She ordered. "Because if you don't...I'll make sure you never...see your precious family ever again...okay?"

Before Jon could answer his newly delivered cellphone began to ring, and immediately he knew who it was. The ringtone was the song "Her Majesty" by The Beatles which he had set to be played whenever Celestia called. He had thought it was clever, but at the moment it only made him nervous. As it rang, Chrysalis used to magic to set it very delicately in front of him.

"Answer it," Chrysalis said from across the room. When Jon didn't move she teleported herself back on top of his desk and pointed her horn to his face. "I said...answer it."

Slowly Jon took the phone in his hands, and when he looked at the screen, he confirmed it was indeed Celestia. He pressed the answer button but didn't immediately put it to his ear. He looked in Chrysalis' eyes, which conveyed that she was serious and slowly placed the phone against his ear, where he heard Celestia already in the middle of talking.

"...I said hello? Hello Jon are you there?" she said. "I’m just calling to make sure everything is alright?"

Jon tried to speak but no words came out. In response to the Chrysalis pointed her horn to his neck.

"Uh yeah hello...I'm...I'm here. I’m fine," he said in a nervous tone. "How uh…how are you?

"Ah there you are, and I'm fine, thanks for asking! For a second I thought I had dialed the wrong number," she said with a chuckle. "Though I don't know many other Jon Stewarts."

When Jon didn't respond right away, Celestia called out to see if he was still there. Jon was so nervous he had forgotten how to carry on a conversation, something which made Chrysalis dig her horn deeper against his neck.

"OH! Uh ha, ha that's a goood one...Celestia...r-real funny," he said. "So...what's this about?"

"Well as you know, I like to call and make sure your guest made it alright," she said in a tone like a mother asking a school teacher about their child. "And I know you're very busy right now so I won't take up too much of your time...did Lyra make it alright?"

At that moment, time seemed to slow down for Jon to the point where it just stopped. He knew that all he had to do was tell Celestia that this monster was here and that she'd do something about it. Maybe she'd teleport him out of the room or use her magic to stop Chrysalis from moving the way she had done to him. He was one second away from calling for help when he looked over at Selina, still in her cocoon prison.

He then imagined that same enclosure being worn by his two children and loving wife, hanging upside down with the same expression of fear and pain. It was a thought that made him almost vomit right there...he couldn't risk it.

"Jon?" Celestia called out. "Is something the matter...you sound disturbed." For the sake of his own life and that of his family, Jon threw his head back up and puffed out his chest. Years of acting kicked in and he began to talk more fluently.

"Sorry about that Celestia, I'm fighting a cold at the moment," Jon said. His tone was smooth and collected like nothing had ever happened. His straight face was so convincing that even Chrysalis found herself shocked by his acting. "And as for Lyra yes she made it safely...gotta admit though, it’s odd seeing her without that earth pony friend of hers...from what I understood those two are connected at the hip."

"Oh trust me, you're not the only one surprised by that," Celestia said as Chrysalis gave Jon a nod of the head. "I thought for sure she'd want to go on TV with her partner, but she insisted she go it alone."

"Well I can understand why," Jon said. "I mean I love Tracey but I wouldn't take her with me everywhere I went."

"Well I'm afraid I can't chime on this. I don't have any significant other," she said with a giggle. "Speaking of which how is Tracey?"

Before answering Jon looked at Chrysalis who gave him a signal to get things moving along.

"Uh she's great but listen I hate to be rude but I really must go," Jon said. "I have a client in my office right now and she's looking very upset."

"Oh of course. I'll leave you to your work," she said. "Can't wait for tonight's show."

"Me either." Jon said with a fast appearing frown. "It's sure to be a blast."

Having said their goodbyes, both parties hung their phones with Jon looking depressed, as if he was just forced to say goodbye a friend.

"Excellent performance!" Chrysalis exclaimed. "Make sure to leave some room for more of that tonight when I'm on stage...I want you to be at your absolute best."

"If I do this...you promise you won't hurt my family," Jon said in a sickly tone.

"Oh of course, you have my word," she said with a smile that did very little to reassure Jon. "Now then, you should rest up for tonight...I on the other hoof, need time to prepare."

"Selina can help you..." Jon deadpanned. "Just get her down first."

"Oh, you mean you're human slave? Good idea...oh and by the way...Don't even think about trying to call Celestia for help while I'm gone. I had some of my children infiltrate the castle, disguised as guards. So if you try and send her a message about me...I'll know," Chrysalis said to Jon. For emphasis she tapped her horn and gave a grin like she knew what he was thinking. "But just in case you're still thinking about trying..."

Again, she pointed her horn at Jon's face, but unlike before, he didn't react as much; he just sat there, slumped in his chair like he was slowly sinking. A small green light shot forth from her horn and went right in between his eyes. Jon felt no pain, but just like before, an odd sensation began to envelope Jon's brain like he was slowly falling asleep. The sensation eventually subsided and he suddenly felt like his head was heavier.

"There...a little insurance," she added. "Now even if you are foolish enough to try it, I'll immediately be alerted." Once she was satisfied that her spell had worked, she hopped on down from the desk and made her way to the center of his office.

Using her magic, she turned back into her smaller, Lyra form. Her horn began to glow and as it did, the cocoon that housed Selina burst open and out she fell, no longer covered in ooze but gasping for breath.

"Selina was it?" Chrysalis said to the terrified assistant. "I'll need you to escort me around the office...maybe take me to your designer...my hooves could use some polishing."

"Why...you..." Selina said as she slowly got up. Making a fist, she looked like she was about to pounce on Chrysalis like a large cat, but before she could even think about what she would do, Jon called out.

"Selina don't," Jon said from his seat. She looked over at her boss with a surprised look about her. "Do as she says...whatever she wants...make sure she gets it." Since she was in the cocoon, she hadn’t heard anything they had said, she was shocked to see Jon look so defeated.

"Very good, human. Keep this up and I can guarantee all will be well," Chrysalis said in her now-Lyra voice. Turning on her hoofs she walked towards the door and faced Selina. "Come along slave, I'm wanted in makeup."

Selina watched as her boss let the smug faced attacker walk out of his office.

"Jon?" she asked a scared tone.

"Just go, Selina," he said. She obeyed and followed Chrysalis out the door.

"Oh and one more thing...you can't stop me...so don't even try. I appreciate you might not fully comprehend my power, so for now, I'll just say this..." she said as she slowly turning to face Jon. "Back in Equestria, there are old stories about a species of monsters called the 'Changelings'."

The name itself got Jon's attention. He had no idea what they were, but he had briefly heard about them at one point.

"Ponies tell all kinds of stories about them...about how they sneak in houses at night and take away misbehaving fillies and colts," she said with a serious face, which was now giving way to a sadistic smile. "Well I'm here today to tell you that such monsters exist...and I'm their queen."

No one said anything. An eerie silence fell over the room, leaving Jon to think about his present situation. Feeling like she had gotten her point across, Chrysalis exited the room with Selina following behind very hesitantly. On her way out, she closed the door to the office as she always did out of habit, leaving Jon all alone.

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Jon's secret weapon.

Even with Chrysalis having just cured him of his mild illness, Jon now felt utterly sick and corroded down to his soul. An overwhelming sense of helplessness and guilt flowed from every pore of his body and he felt like this was entirely his fault somehow, like he had betrayed both himself, and everyone he loved.

Reaching out, he grabbed his phone, the very same phone that was used as a weapon against him. It was still set to the gallery application and there was a picture of his children. Tears began to fall from his face as she scrolled through picture after picture. He leaned forward in his desk to hide his sunken face, even though he was alone.

He had the feeling that no matter what, someone he loved would be hurt. He knew that this evil creature could not be trusted to keep her word, and that whatever she was planning was in no way in just cause. On paper it sounded as if all she wanted was some TV time, but deep down he knew there was more to it than that...he had to get rid of her, but he didn't know how.

He continued to cycle through picture after picture, and just when it seemed that all hope was lost, an idea came to mind. At first it seemed trivial, but then the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

"She doesn't know." Jon said to himself. Looking in all directions, he began to formulate a plan in his head, a plan that seemed too simple to work, but it was his only option. Jumping from his seat, Jon quickly grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something down. He then rushed to his office door with an idea in his brain, a new found sense of urgency flowing through him. He had a plan he just needed to get back home.

He was moments away from opening the door when he stopped to collect himself. He wiped his eyes of any loose tears and took a deep breath, then another. For this to work, he needed to trick Chrysalis the same he had just deceived Celestia. After he was both mentally and physically ready, he opened the door just in time to see his assistant escort the still-disguised Queen Chrysalis down a nearby hallway.

"Selina, can I have a word with you?" Jon called out in a perfectly acceptable and stable tone. Before she could answer, a very skeptical looking Chrysalis stepped in front of her.

"Why?" she asked in her very convincing Lyra voice.

"Oh it's nothing really. I just want to make sure everything goes well for tonight's show," Jon answered. "After all, I wasn't expecting to have a pony on the show tonight."

With a nod of the head, Chrysalis allowed Selina to approach Jon, though she kept a very watchful eye on the two. When Jon spoke to Selina, he did so in high voice so everyone could hear him.

"Selina, I need you to make sure the boys in the back prep the stage," Jon said. "Make sure it's set up for our guest. That means we’ll need to use the props from set 'B' and not set 'A,' I remind you what happened the last time that happened...also be sure to tell our former guest that we won't be needing him anymore...if he asks why tell him there was a mix up in scheduling."

While this was going on, Queen Chrysalis was busily waiting for Selina to return, her gaze never leaving the two. Seeing this caused Jon to try something different. Turning now to his many interns and stagehands, Jon raised his voice to address everyone in the office.

"Everyone, can I have your attention...this is Lyra and she's to be on the show tonight," Jon said with an outstretched hand. Most, if not all his workers, acted rather confused since this wasn't originally scheduled. "While she's here I want everyone to make her feel at home here at Daily Show headquarters, so please...I would like everyone who is scheduled to help on set today to introduce yourself."

When he was done talking, a considerable amount of young adults approached Queen Chrysalis, each of them introducing themselves or cutting to the chase to ask a question. While she was distracted by this, Jon slid a note into Selina's hand. Brisking past her, he waved his hands at the many interns who were talking with Chrysalis like birds trying to feed on bread crumbs.

"Alright guys and gals, you'll all have a chance to introduce yourself to Lyra when she comes to your department," Jon said, trying to up the crowd her had created. While this was happening, Selina quickly read the note Jon had given her. "Right now she needs to go get wardrobe...or actually maybe we can skip that part."

His co-workers laughed as Selina came up from behind him, and with a slip of the hand, gave him back the note.

"So Lyra...is there anything else you need?" Jon asked. Instead of acting skeptical, Chrysalis took his overly cheerful demeanor as a sign on acceptance.

"No I should be fine," she said.

"Good. While you two ladies get better acquainted with our building, I'll be in my office doing busy work.” And with that, Selina escorted Chrysalis around the corner to where the cosmetology students and officials were stationed.

Jon waited a few seconds after the two of them were out of sight, whereupon he quickly rushed down one of the opposite hallways which lead to the back door. He turned a corner so fast he almost knocked over a mailroom clerk in the process, but eventually he found the door.

Bursting back out into daylight, Jon ran through the parking lot and to the street corner and flagged down a passing taxi. He gave his desired address and he was soon on his way, but not before he threw away the note that he had previously given to his loyal assistant which had read:

It took the cabbie about twenty minutes, but he eventually got Jon back home. In a rush, Jon leapt from the vehicle and threw a couple of bills at the driver without bothering to ask for change. He could hear the car pull away as he ran up to the door. Frantically, he pulled out his keys and tried to unlock the door, only to drop it on the ground. When he bent down to pick them up, he found himself stopping.

He tried to calm himself down, but the image of Selina hanging upside down was more than he could bare. He took a deep breath, stood up, and calmly unlocked his front door. Slowly he opened it, expecting the worse, but to his relief, he didn't see any signs of anyone being in the house besides himself and his family.

He looked across the room and there he saw the flat screen television, still ever present on the wall in the living room, being used for its intended purpose. Quickly, he rushed towards the couch, and there it was, a glimmer of hope in his otherwise horrible day.

Still sitting in the same spot as when he left, were his two children, each of them still playing their video game. Aside from maybe a change in positions to Jon, it looked as if they hadn’t moved at all since he left that mornings to go to work.

They didn't turn to look at him, as they were still fixated on their current game, but one pair of eyes did find their way to Jon.

For there, sitting in between them was who Jon was looking for the most. The answer to all of his problems and subsequently his ace in the hole, came in the form of a small blue pony using both her hooves and horn to handle a video game controller.

She was a friend, a family member, and now Jon's secret weapon...she was the Great and Powerful Trixie.

"Stewart," she said with uninterested eyes. "You're home early."

Jon didn't say anything right away. Instead, he just stared at her, his chest heaving up and down from running up to the house.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost," she said. Her attention was now drawn away from Jon and onto the screen at the behest of the kids, who complained that she was slowing them down. "Look, if you're wondering why I'm doing this, the kids asked me to...even though I don't possess any fingers I think I'm getting the hang of it."

Now all three of them were ignoring Jon. They were too busy concentrating on their current game session to notice tears of joy swelling up in Jon's eyes. He wasn't upset by their lack of interest in his presence, he was just happy to see that they were okay.

"OH THANK GOD!" he yelled as he dropped to his knees and grabbed his two children and Trixie in his arm for forced group hug. None of them took a liking to it.

"DADDDY!" Nathan complained. "We're playing a game!"

"Yeah, daddy!" Maggie added. "I can't see!"

His two children weren't the only ones bothered by Jon's surprise hug out of nowhere. Arguably the most annoyed by this was Trixie since she was sitting in the middle of the two children, as a result she felt the most compressed out of all of them.

"Let me go at once!" she barked. "The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you relinquish me this instant!"

Despite all their struggling and demands, Jon refused to let go. The more they pushed him away, the more he hugged them back. He so happy to see that the three of them were safe he didn't even notice Trixie using her hoof to pop him on the head a few times.

Still overcome by his sense of relief, Jon gave each of his children, as well as Trixie, a kiss on the forehead as if he’d never get to see them again. Trixie really didn't like that.

"Bleh! Let...go of me!" she ordered. "Trixie does not like being slobbered on!"

The kids struggling came to a sudden halt once a chipper bit of music came from the TV signaling that both children and Trixie had gotten a "Game Over."

"Awww man!" Nathan complained.

"Daddy you killed us!" Maggie moaned, saddened that they would now have to start from their last checkpoint. As if his daughter had said the magic words Jon, released them. Both Nathan and Maggie grabbed their controllers and tried to get back to their game, or at least they would have, had Jon not kneeled down in front of them, blocking their view of the TV.

"I'm...I'm sorry kids," Jon said. To show he was serious, he placed a hand on their shoulders and began to talk nice and slowly so they would understand. "Listen...while I was gone did anyone try to get in the house?"

At this point, Trixie had finished wiping off any saliva that Jon might've gotten on her. She was moments away from yelling at him for his insane behavior, but before she got to it, Jon's face caught her eye. To say he looked sad would be a gross understatement; his face looked to be permanently petrified in a mixture of agony and horror. But most of all she noticed his eyes; they looked like they had seen things that one should never see. She even noticed there was some evidence that he had been crying.

His children however, didn't notice their father's disturbed appearance, nor would they be able to fully comprehend what it all meant, as demonstrated by their answering of his questions.

"No daddy," Nathan said in an annoyed tone. "No one came to the house." He tried to look past his father at the TV, but Jon wasn't done with them yet.

"Okay, but did anyone try and call!?" Jon asked

"Nope," Maggie answered.

To show that he was done questioning them, Jon took his hands off their shoulders and stood up to get out of their way.

"Stewart?" Trixie asked. "Is everything alright? You look worse now than when you left."

"No I'm...I'm fine," Jon said as he paced back and forth. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair while taking deep breaths. Unsatisfied with his answer, Trixie jumped from her seat and approached him.

"Did something happen at work?" she asked. When Jon didn't answer her question, her mind began to wander and she started to suspect the worse. Not knowing that what was really going on was far more insidious than she could ever imagine.

After having some time to think Jon ran up to his kids again. Only this time he didn't get in their field of view.

"Hey kids...did mommy ever come back home?" Jon asked. Both kids didn't answer but instead shook their heads.

"She's still at work," Trixie said from behind. "What's all this about?"

Instead of answering her question, Jon turned around, and with one arm scooped Trixie up in the air, tucking her body under his arm like he was holding an oversized football. Though in his haste, he managed to lift her upside down.

"HEY!" she shrieked. "Put me down!" Her cries of frustration caused both kids to look in their direction and laugh at the spectacle that was Trixie's butt extruding in the air and her hooves flailing wildly about.

"Hey kids, look I'm uh...I'm going to borrow Trixie for a second so be good and stay here!" Jon said. The two kids paused their game to give their attention, since it involved their beloved baby sitter. "While I'm gone, your grandmother is going to be taking care of you...she should be here very soon."

Maneuvering over her brother, Maggie ran across the cough to jump up and down.

"Grandma's coming!?" she yelled.

"That's right!" Jon answered. "So make sure to—"

"Can we show her to the Great and Powerful Trixie!?" She interrupted while Trixie still struggled in Jon’s arms.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry but I'm borrowing Trixie for now," Jon said. "Don't worry, I'll bring her back!"

"Promise?" Nathan asked with a skeptical look.

"I promise!" Jon said. He almost dropped Trixie, who was still struggling with all her might to break free. "Now stay here and be good! Me and Trixie have some...adult things to talk about upstairs."

"I'm not going anywhere till you tell me what's going on!" Trixie yelled. "I ordered you to release me at once! You have until the count of three...one...two...Th— AH!"

Before she could finish her countdown, Jon turned around and as fast as he could rushed towards the stairs.

"Stay here!" Jon told his kids as he ran up the stairs, the indignant mare still tucked underneath his arm. After getting to the top of the stairs he used his free arm to open the door to his study. After almost tripping over his own feet, he rushed in and closed the door behind him like he was being followed by someone.

Before Trixie could say anything else, Jon tossed her as gently as he could on the nearby sofa.

She wasn't very thankful for being manhandled.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" she said with much contempt. "Have you lost your mind!?" Jon didn't answer. Instead, he ran around the room, shutting windows and closing blinds as quickly as he could.

"DON'T IGNORE ME!" she yelled. "I asked you a question and I demand you answer me!" Again Jon said nothing. His final act of security was to grab the cord that connected his phone to the wall and yank it out so no one could call. To make sure he didn't miss anything, he began to run around the room looking everywhere, as if he was trying to find an Easter egg.

"What are you doing!? Stop this at once!" Trixie shouted. "HEY! The Great and Powerful Trixie commands you to—"

"TRIXIE WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!?" Jon yelled at the top of his voice. Immediately he regretted what he had done.

Trixie looked shocked. Her ears folded and she began to take a few steps back in fear. She had always known Jon as that campy human who never had a mean bone in his body…she had never seen Jon look like this before.

The horrified look on her face sent pangs of guilt throughout Jon's body. He didn't mean to yell at her...this wasn't her fault.

"Trixie...Trixie I'm...I-I'm sorry," Jon said as he reached out with his hand. "It's just that I...I need...Oh god." Dropping to his knees, Jon's shoulders slumped and he covered his face with his hands. Trixie could hear muffled sounds that were in synch with her beating heart. Having seen Jon go from intense anger to disheveled agony was something she thought she'd never see from him.

"...S-Stewart?..." she said as she slowly approached him. "Are... are you alright?"

Out of instinct, she reached out with her hoof, unsure of where she would put it. Before she could, however, Jon looked up at with her with sad, watery eyes.

"Trixie," he said in a scared voice. "I need your help."

Trixie was never one to ask support from others. Even if she desperately needed it, her pride and tendency to not rely on others wouldn't allow her. Subsequently, this also meant that not a lot of people ask for her help in general. All of this meant that she didn't really know what to say when Jon was literally on his knees begging for her assistance.

"Please Trixie," Jon said again with increasingly tearful eyes. "I’m in big trouble."

Had this been anyone else, she might have considered leaving them to sort out their own problems, but since it was Jon, she obliged him a little by at the very least asking what the problem was.

"Trouble...with what?" Trixie asked tentatively. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Jon got up and began to collect himself. He wanted to be sure he spoke clearly and without falter.

"Trixie, something...something from Equestria came to the office today," Jon said. His breathing was now under control. But the more he explained his situation the more rapid it became. "Something...something really bad...and I need you to get rid of it."

"Why don't you explain from the beginning?" Trixie said. Jon's hands were still shaking and he felt like he could fall apart at any time. Taking another deep breath, he walked across the room to the couch near the door. It was no more than a few feet away, but to Jon it felt like it was on the other side of the planet. Slowly, he navigated towards it as if he was on a traipse wire.

"Okay, this is what happened," Jon said as he took his seat. "This...this thing tricked its way into my office and it demanded that I do whatever she says...I tried to get it to leave but it was too powerful." Jon's mind was still frantic; it took all he had to explain this much without going into a panic. He stopped to breathe again while Trixie did her best to draw her own conclusions.

"And you want me to send this thing back for you?" Trixie surmised which in turn got a nod of the head from Jon. Feeling cocky, Trixie shook her head back and forth and threw hooves in the air. "Fear not Stewart! For I the Great and Powerful Trixie, will vanquish this foe for you and save the day once again! Now then...who is this creature that will have the misfortune of dealing with Trixie?"

"It's some weird thing with holes all over her body," Jon said as he rubbed his hand across his face. He tried to remember as much as he could about her on the off chance that Trixie didn't know her. "She has green hair and a black body and she called herself Queen...uh Queen Crisis, or something like Queen Crystals...or—"

"Queen Chrysalis!?" Trixie exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, that's her!" Jon said. "You know her?" Now it was Trixie who looked scared out of her mind. She took a step back and began to look in all directions as if the walls were about to close in on her.

"Queen Chrysalis is here!?" she continued. "...In New York!?"

"Yeah and she’s trying to take over my show!" Jon said. "So can you help me?"

"You want me to go up against Queen Chrysalis!?" she said frantically. "Are you crazy!?"

"But I thought you said can handle this!?" Jon said as he stood up from his seat.

"Well yeah, but that was before I knew who I was dealing with! Stewart...you don't understand! Queen Chrysalis she's...she's a very high level magic user," Trixie explained. "Her power is far, far beyond my- I mean, I...look, I want to help, but can't you just get Celestia to do it?"

"That's not going to work. Trust me, I thought about that," Jon said, sitting back down. "Chrysalis said if I tried, she'd know it...she did something to me and well...I'm not going to risk finding out if it was a bluff. Please Trixie you're the only one I can count on here."

Feeling needed like this did give Trixie a sense of importance, but what Jon was asking was almost suicidal.

"...And there’s no other option?" Trixie asked as she used her hoof to carve a pattern into the carpet of Jon's study.

"No...this Queen Chrysalis has thought of everything." Jon explained. "She tricked her way into my world pretending to be someone else, she used my phone to deceive both me and Celestia into letting our guards down, and she found a way get me to do whatever she says...she's thought of everything...except for you."

"M-me?" Trixie said.

"Yes you! I mean, no one knows you're here, not even Celestia, remember?" Jon continued. “Your interview never made it on television...she may have planned out everything, and anticipated everyone...but you…who could ever anticipate you?"

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: A battle plan

A sudden look of realization found its way onto Trixie's face. Queen Chrysalis had severed any hope Jon had of calling in reinforcements from Equestria. Unaware of the fact that Trixie had been living with him for months now, Jon's only chance of survival was now squarely in the hooves of Trixie and Trixie alone...it didn't exactly put her in the right mindset.

"Stewart I...I don't know," Trixie said. The weight of the situation began to take form in her head. "I mean...I want to help, really, I do, but I don't think I'm the right pony for this."

"Trixie please," Jon said with begging hands. "This is a lot to ask of you and I understand that, but you—"

"NO! No you don't understand!" Trixie yelled, surprising Jon. She was noticeably scared, made evident by how she was shaking like a chihuahua in snowstorm. "I'm sorry, but you don't understand! You didn't grow up in Equestria, but I did! You have no idea what Queen Chrysalis is capable of. Trust me, I've heard the stories, and I've seen what she can do."

"That's why I need your help now more than ever! You know what to expect," Jon countered. "Please, Trixie you're the only magic user in this world that can help me."

Maybe it was because she was still nervous about helping Jon, or just as an excuse to be confrontational, but for whatever reason, Trixie decided to take what Jon had said too personally.

"Oh I see," Trixie said with a forced level of annoyance. "You only need my help because I can use magic!"

"Trixie, that's not what I meant" Jon said. "I just—"

"No I get it," Trixie continued. "You don't need my help, you just need somepony who knows magic...I guess if some other pony was here you would—"

"For the love I god why won't you help me!" Jon said in a loud, but not threatening manner.

"I'm just...look I'd like to help you Stewart, really, I would, it's just...you know," she said in an unconvincing tone.

"No...no I don't know, so please explain it to me," Jon said, but despite his best efforts, Trixie now remained silent. She nervously looked in all directions as if an answer would materialize before them. "Come one, I've always been there for you, so why won't you help me now?”

“Look…I just…I can’t do it,” she said as she turned to expose her back.

“Buy why!?” Jon asked. Why Trixie...why!?"

"Because I'm not strong enough!" Trixie yelled back surprising both Jon and herself. "There! You want me to say it! I'm just...I'm just not strong enough to go up against somepony like her...if I help I'll only mess things up like I always do."

"Oh I...c’mon that's not true," Jon pleaded.

"Oh isn't it? Face it, Stewart, I'm a failure as a magic user," she said, trying her hardest to fight back the emotions that came with having to face her own self-actualization. "I know...I know I say stuff like I'm great and powerful or that I'm the most powerful unicorn ever, but I'm just...not...look I would love nothing more than to help you, but I'm scared I won't be able to."

"Trixie," Jon said in a pleading tone.

"I'm...I'm sorry," she said. To avoid eye contact, she bowed her head down and looked away. "I'm sure you'll think of some way to—"

"Trixie, please I can't do this by myself!" he exclaimed. Without even thinking about it, he dropped to his knees and grabbed her shoulders. "For god sake, she threatened my family!"

Instead of pushing Jon away or complaining that she was once again being handled, Trixie couldn't help but stare back into Jon's sad eyes.

"W-wha—...she what?" she asked.

"She had my phone so she knows everything," he explained. "She knows where we live and where me and Tracey work...she even knows the kid's names...Please Trixie; the kids need you...Tracey needs you...I need you."

"…She threatened to harm Maggie and Nathan," Trixie asked after a lengthy pause.

"Yeah," Jon answered, determined to bring her home. "She said if I didn't do exactly as she said, that I'd never see my family again."

After he was done explaining Jon took a step back to give his unicorn friend some space as well as time to think. Without saying a word, she ran to the door of Jon's office and opened it slightly so she could hear the kids playing downstairs. Their voices could be heard all the way from upstairs; a combination of laughter and the game's soundtrack.

Closing the door, Trixie turned to face Jon with a determined look about her. She was still nervous about the prospect of going up against Queen Chrysalis by herself, though Jon couldn’t tell.

"Okay, I'm in," Trixie said. Falling back in his seat, Jon took a deep sigh like he'd been holding his breath.

"Thank you, Trixie," he said. "I knew I could count on you."

"Don't thank me just yet." Trixie sighed as she walked across the room. "Before we go on any further, I need to know the details of what she's planning...refresh my memory. Did she mention why she's here or what she wants?"

"Well...I know what she wants I just don't know why." Jon said.

"Elaborate," she said as she turned around to talk in the opposite direction, going back and forth occasionally, stopping and going like a cheap dell laptop.

"Alright, alright...When she arrived in my office, her one demand was that I have her on the show as my next guest," Jon explained. "And...that's it. Other than telling me to my shut my mouth about it that was her only demand."

This sudden news caused Trixie to stop pacing in place. Quickly, she turned to look at Jon like a deer caught in someone's headlights.

"Did she say that she wanted the interview to be live!?” she asked with concerned eyes. "And that she was to be disguised as somepony else."

"What, were you there or something? That's actually what she wanted," Jon said, throwing up his arms in surprise.

There was now a moment of silence and stillness. Trixie was looking in Jon's direction, but her gaze suggested she wasn't looking particularly at him but rather into the void of space.

"Hey, Trixie...you alright?" Jon asked Trixie who took a second to respond.

"I'll be honest with you, Stewart; this may be more dangerous than I thought," she said with a very concerned look on her face. "I know what she's planning...but for you to understand, you need to know exactly...what Queen Chrysalis is."

"She said she was uh, something called...a changeling," Jon said.

"Yes she's their queen," Trixie said. "But do you know what a changeling is?"

"No," he admitted. Jon was now much calmer than when he first started, and was now more willing to listen. "I've heard about them, but I don't know anything about what they are."

Jon's confusion for such a prominent topic was how Trixie felt a lot of time when she first moved to the human world, and was met on all sides by cultural entities that she did not understand. For her, having to explain what a Changeling was to someone was a very odd concept, since virtually everyone she knew back home knew of them.

She sat down on the couch next to Jon and began her lecture.

"Okay try to keep up...there are a lot of theories about their origin, but the way I was taught when I was but a young foal was that the changelings used to be a species of ponies that lived centuries ago. Their leader wanted only the best for her loyal subjects, so she made a deal with a powerful creature to grant herself and her subjects immortality." Trixie explained while Jon listened intently. "However, the powerful creature tricked her and as a result she and her subjects became corrupted by the magic. As a result, they turned into evil, raving monsters with the ability to change their appearance whenever they wanted."

"Okay, but what does all that have to do with my show?" Jon asked.

"I'm getting to that...so as I was saying, they have the ability to turn change their appearance to look like anypony they want, which they needed to counter another aspect of their curse. You see, a changeling's immortality comes with a price. While they can't be killed, they need energy to survive; they feed off the love of other ponies; that's the only way to get their power back." Trixie explained while, at the same time, trying to separate what she knew as fact and what she knew only by myth. "When I was in the orphanage, the house mother and father would tell stories about how Changelings would sneak into the house and gobble up misbehaving young foals who didn't listen or do their chores, and take their place. Before they got desperate, changelings would actually sneak into towns and assume the form of a friend or family member in order to absorb the love from those around them."

"Well if this thing is trying to get me to love it, then it's doing a pretty fucking terrible job at it so far," he grumbled.

"It's not your love she's after," Trixie said, pausing for a second. "It's your audience's"

"Wait...what do you...” Jon’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh shit!”

"Exactly. Stewart, she wants to be on your show because she wants to devour the love she'll get from audiences both here, and Equestria," Trixie said. "You've said it yourself before, 'Equestrian interviews' is your most watched episodes...everypony who watches those segments falls in love with the guest. If Queen Chrysalis goes up there, she'll be watched by who knows how many ponies and humans."

"Millions…maybe more," Jon answered, placing his elbows on his knees and a hand on his forehead. "If she goes up there, she'll be watched by millions of people...and that's just here in the states...we broadcast all over the world and from what I know this show gets out to all corners of Equestria."

Slowly, Jon leaned back in his seat so carefully one might think he was made of glass. He was trying his best to recollect what the average census was for amount of viewers per episode. For the ones that had an Equestrian guest the numbers were extremely high, and that was only counting viewers from the his world. Averaged out the least popular 'Equestrian interview' was more watched than his most popular 'regular' episode.

After running the numbers in his head Jon began to panic, causing him to go into denial.

"M-maybe it won't so be bad?" Jon thought out loud.

"Excuse me?" Trixie blurted.

"I mean maybe she won't be that powerful," Jon explained while rocking back and forth in his seat. "Yes a lot of people will watch but who can say for sure how strong she'll be?"

His theory did very little to make Trixie feel better about the situation. She shook her head at Jon with a face like she knew something that he didn't.

"I hate to tell you, Stewart but you're very wrong. This idea that she might not be that strong is foolish...you don't understand, so allow me to put things into context for you," she said before taking a long painful sigh. "I wasn’t present, but from what I've heard, the last time Queen Chrysalis tried something like this was when she tried to invade Canterlot disguised as a royal member of the family. When she did this, she managed to take over the city for a brief moment and defeat Celestia in battle...she did all this with the love from a single stallion."

At this revelation, Jon got up and began to walk around in circles, using his hands to massage the side of his head.

"Oh dear lord," he said. "Oh no...no, no, no, no, no, no."

"Do you now understand what we're dealing with here?" she asked in a grim tone. "If we allow her to get up there, she'll be unstoppable...if she gains the power from your audience, she'll probably try to take over Canterlot again in round two. And she won’t stop there, she'll probably try to take over all of Equestria...maybe even this world too."

"FUCK!" Jon roared. "Why does she have to come to me though? Didn't you say they already had a good system going for them back home!?"

"Like I said their livelihood depends on how much love they get...that's how they survive." Trixie explained. "I'm no expert, but the way I see it...after her failed attempt to take over the throne, I'm guessing Chrysalis and her subjects are severely weakened and getting desperate."

"If that's her being weak, I fucking well don't what to see what she's like when her batteries are fully charged," Jon said with a frightened look on his face. Taking his hand, he began to rub his neck where she had previously choked him. "Jesus, we can't keep something that dangerous here any longer, we need to get rid of her!"

"What do you suggest we do?" Trixie asked. She already knew what Jon had in mind and was already equipped with her answer.

"Okay so...my original idea was to somehow get a message to Celestia about our problem...but the more I thought about it the more I don't like that idea...according to Chryaslis, she has contacts back at Canterlot Castle...I don't want to risk tipping her off while she's still here and putting my kids in danger...so now I'm thinking that our first priority is getting Queen Chrysalis out of my world and back in Equestria," Jon said. "I figure since she's in a weakened state, now she can't come back since she needed to trick Celestia into getting here in the first place...so why don't you use your magic to teleport her out of here?"

"It's not that simple," Trixie said. "Already there are a lot of flaws in your plan."

"Like what?" Jon asked.

"For starters, as I've said I'm not...that proficient in the type of magic you're talking about." She explained. "Remember when I tried to teleport you to Cloudsdale?"

"How can I forget?" Jon said with a cringing expression. "You nearly killed me."

"Yes well...if you'll recall it took me awhile to stabilize the massive amount of magic necessary to get it done at all." She continued. "It was difficult to conjure that much power let alone control it for very long. What I'm trying to say is if I try to use my magic to force her back home it would take a while and we'd run the risk of her finding out we tried to stop her and rest assured she'd retaliate. If she sees me and thinks for a second that there's a chance we'd stop her she'll won’t think twice about killing me."

"Well then...we'll give you time! I'll just...I don't know...ok how bout we let you prepare you're spell from like across the room or something?" He said. "That way...that way she doesn't see you. I'll just ask her to follow me or something and bam! You got her."

A new wave a hope within Jon made him stand up, and smile at Trixie. She didn't share Jon's new found faith and expressed it by shaking her head which caused him to sit back down.

"Better...but that won't work either; as I've said my magic isn't as powerful as I'd like it to be. For me to cast a successful teleportation spell I need to be close range and preferably for my target to be still." She explained.

"Something tells me she's not going to obligingly stand still for that long for us." He said. "Maybe we could knock her out or try to get her to go to sleep."

"Good idea but I don't think Chrysalis would fall for a trap like that. This is her chance to reclaim her power so she’s going to be on her guard for sure." She said. "Which brings me to my next point...even if I do managed to successfully cast a teleportation spell on her she could just use her magic to negate it before it takes it's full effect. We need to strike when she's at her most vulnerable but at the moment we don't have anything as leverage so we're just fishing with no bait."

In Jon's head he imagined what it would look like if Chrysalis sat in one spot not moving for a period of time. The concept was silly and unrealistic to him at first but in an instant he realized such a scenario wasn't so farfetched.

"Wait...yes we do...we do have a way of making her to that!" Jon said. "What if I told you I could get Chrysalis to sit perfectly still without moving for a decent amount of time. With her guard down and you'd be very close by?"

"If you said that...I'd say you’re crazy." Trixie said.

"N-no hear me out!" He stammered. "What if...you teleport her back to Equestria...while I'm interviewing her."

"Excuse me." Trixie said with a look of shock on her face. "You want me to teleport her during her interview...now I know you’re crazy."

"No, no think about it! Since it's the interview she'll have to stand still...also she won’t expect this during her segment." He continued. "She'll be too busy concentrating on what to say instead of what's going on around her."

"That's...actually not the worst idea I've ever heard of." Trixie admitted. To some degree she liked the idea but there were still some flaws that she felt needed to be pointed out. "There's still a problem though...where would I be? Remember I need to be close by for it to work."

"Simple. You'll be backstage." He suggested with a look of confidence like he found the answer to everything. "She and I will occupy the main stage and you'll be just a few feet away behind the backdrop...that'll work right?"

Once and for all Jon finally thought he had a fool proof plan but like before Trixie didn't seem convinced.

"This is a sound plan to be sure...but if I can't see my target it'll be very difficult for me to pull it off." She said with a guilty look. "Even if they're not that far away I can't teleport someone I can't see...that and the backdrop might be too thick for me to send my magic through."

"But...b-but whenever Celestia sends myself or a pony to here and back she does it form her throne…from another world." He stated.

"...Ok, yes it is possible to a teleportation spell without seeing you're target or being very close...but all depends on capable the pony is." She admitted. "In the case our princess she can do that because she's had a countless years of experience...I on the other hand...well let's just say I'm not at...accomplished as she is."

"So...my idea...not going to work." Jon said with a sour face.

"Doesn't seem like it." Trixie answered.

It was so silent the two could hear a penny drop but instead Jon dropped himself on the cough. He looked to be depressed while simultaneously anxious. Time was running out and he was a back and square one...this made him desperate again.

"Can't you just...I don't know, try to do it anyway?" he asked. "I mean, I mean have you ever tried to teleport someone from another room? Go outside and try on me! I know you can do it"

"Look, I appreciate the thought" Trixie said with an uncomfortable sigh. "But I don't think--"

"Ok, ok but how about this!" He interrupted. "How bout we forget about teleporting her and try something else! Yeah do you know any other spells that can help us? Maybe one that can--"

"Stewart, listen to me," She said in a stern tone. "I know this is very stressful for you but what you're asking for a lot here. I only know so much. At present I only know a small selection of magical abilities off the top of my head...most of which are very basic."

Having been shot down again Jon buried his head into his hands, still as frustrated as ever. He appreciated her willingness to help but never before did he wish that she was more proficient in magic.

"So...I'm guessing you don't have a 'magically fix everything spell' do ya?" Jon asked with a sigh.

"I'm a wandering magician; not the elements of Harmony." She answered. "Right now the only way I see dealing with her is for me to teleport her back home...I just need to think of a way of doing that without getting myself killed...if I had some of my spellbooks that might help."

"Spellbooks?" He asked.

"Yeah back home I had some magic tomes I picked up on my travels...they’re not much but they helped when it came to preparing magic." She explained. "Heck, some of them even had some spells I've yet to try."

"Could any of those alternate spells have been useful to us now?" Jon asked.

"Perhaps but I'm not entirely sure." She answered. "It's no good to think about it now...I left them back in my roaming wagon."

"Yeah along with everything you owned." Jon said. "Dammit...if only there was some way we could—"

Suddenly Jon stopped. Trixie noticed this and looked over at him, only to see that he now had a look on his face like he had just seen a large spider. She'd seen this look before; it was a look of epiphany.

"Oh my god," he said. Were it not for the fact that Jon was under an incredible amount of stress due to his present situation, he would have thought of this earlier. "That's it."

"What's it?" Trixie asked. Without answering, Jon jumped from his seat, yelling as loudly as he could.

"That's it!" he roared. Once again, Jon had another idea, an idea so powerful he almost trampled Trixie as he ran across the room. "I've got it!"

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: A battle plan 2

When Jon ran across the room Trixie practically had to combat roll to the side to avoid getting stepped on. When she pulled herself up, the sight of Jon frantically pulling out volume after volume of literature from his bookshelf greeted her. One by one he'd grab a book, look at it briefly, and then toss it behind him. Some fell on the floor while others landed awkwardly on his desk or chair.

"Stewart, what are you doing!?" She asked. Again Trixie was ducking and dodging, this time to avoid getting hit by a random novel or textbook.

At one point an encyclopedia found its way onto Jon's desk, knocking over his lamp and breaking the bulb.

"Stewart, calm yourself!" Trixie begged. She was concerned that perhaps he'd finally snapped. "What are you looking for!?"

"THIS!" Stewart yelled while holding a book in his hand. Turning around he walked up to her and slammed the large object in front of her like a football player spiking the winning touchdown. "You wanted a spellbook? Well BAM! Here ya go!"

Looking away from Jon's overly pleased face Trixie slowly lowered her gaze to the large leather book in front of her. It was very thick, and by the looks of it very old as well. Bookmarks sprang up from its pages like a crop field and based on how weathered the spine was it had been read multiple times.

Her eyes were now drawn to the front of the ancient looking tome. The image on the front was almost completely worn out but she could just barely make out an image of two Alicorns intersecting one another. Just below that was the title of the book as well as whomever it was that wrote it.

This heavy textbook was called "Advance spells and Enchantments" and according to the inscription toward the bottom it was written by someone named Starswirl the Bearded. Reading this attribution caused Trixie's mouth to hang in disbelief.

"What in the...S-Stewart...where in Celestia's name did you find this!? She asked as she flipped to a random page.

"I borrowed it." He answered with a grin. "From the personal library of Twilight Sparkle. You weren't here at the time but I once took a vacation in Equestria...that's when I found Twilight, and that's when I rented this book from her."

"Oh...this is no ordinary book." She said as she carefully turned page after page. Even the mention of her arch rival couldn’t distract her from this great find. "This is an ancient lexicon of high level magic...only a few ponies in existence will ever get to see something like this."

"Well then if there's a spell out there that can help us out then it's gotta be in here." Jon said. He waited till Trixie shifted through a couple more pages before addressing her again. "So what do you think? Have you found anything useful?"

"Well yes but...some of these spells are indeed useful though quite a bit of them are extremely difficult to use. There are some that would probably give Celestia a run for her money." She said as she went from page to page. "Give me a minute, Stewart. I need to categorize a list of spells that are within my difficulty range. And then from there I need to eliminate those that can't help us and those that require any ingredients...please be patient."

Patience was definitely not something that Jon had at the moment. He looked to his clock and worried if Selina was doing okay back at the office. The show wasn't scheduled to air just yet but it was getting uncomfortably close. Time was of the essence and even though things had taken a turn for the better they still didn't have solid plan yet.

Jon prayed that Trixie would find some kind of spell to make this all right. Maybe an incantation that can neutralize Chrysalis, or maybe something that can shrink her down to size...or at the very least a good recipe for bug spray. But so far she came up with nothing. He was tempted to again ask how it was going but he didn't want to interrupt her.

In practice Trixie would, on average, find at least two or three spells, per page, that would be more than helpful in defeating Queen Chrysalis. The only problem was that, like she predicted, most of them were far beyond her comprehension. Some spells were too advanced for her to even attempt while others took time to prepare and needed ingredients to complete; none of which they had.

Once she had exhausted almost every option for an offensive spell she worked her way to support magic on the off chance they could help

Of the few that Trixie could use, a lot of them were either defensive spells, or non-lethal ones. Useful yes, just not for what they had in mind. She didn't give up hope, though. Again none of them were helpful...that is until she got to a chapter on fortification.

"Eureka!" She shouted. "I think I got it!"

"No kidding!?" Jon said as he dropped to his knees and sat in front of her. "What’d you find? Please tell me it's some kind of pony death beam."

"Uh not quite...I couldn't find any attack spells that were easy enough for me to use." She said with an embarrassed cough. "But I did find...this!"

Turning the book around Trixie showed Jon a picture of a circular around a hexagon with an odd language written around it, as well as interconnecting lines and figures in the center. There was another circle next to it with roughly the same pattern just inverted somewhat. When Jon read its description it said something about magical transferal properties and long range usage.

"I don't understand...what is this thing?" Jon asked.

"This...this is called a ‘Transfer seal"' She answered. "Basically think of it as a...portal."

"You're going to open a portal to Equestria?" He asked.

"No, no, not exactly...here let me explain." She said as she cleared her throat. "See these two hexagons? Well it's like this...they are designed to absorb magic like a sponge...if one circle is infused with a spell then it gets transferred to the other circle."

"Ok, I understand so far." Jon said. "So...how will this help us?"

"Well it’s used for support like if you wanted to do long range magic spell. But see here's the thing...anypony standing on the outgoing circle will be affected by whatever magic goes through it." Trixie answered. Her explanation was enough for Jon to get an idea of what was being hinted at. "Remember your idea of teleporting Chrysalis back home during her interview? Well you’ll see, with this, I think we have a shot."

"Oh I get it!" Jon said. "So you're saying we can have one of these circles under Chrysalis' chair and another one backstage being handled by you."

"Exactly! That way all I'll have to do is transfer a teleportation spell to her side and WHAM! She's gone!" Trixie explained.

"Sounds great!" Jon exclaimed. "You'll do your thing and I'll do mine!"

"Which reminds me...Stewart I'm more than willing to do this for you." she said.

"Uh oh." Jon replied. "I don't like where this is going."

"Just listen to me...I'll do this but remember I'm still a pony...Equestria is still my home-world." She explained much to Jon's confusion. "What I mean is we're basically going to be sending a very dangerous creature someplace in Equestria...I want to make sure, wherever we send her, the ponies there won't get hurt."

"Ok, no problem. We'll send her to wherever the Changelings live." Jon said, getting a shake of the head from Trixie in return.

"Never been there." She answered. "I can't teleport somepony to a place I've never been to."

"Alright then send her to...uh...OH, I got it!" He exclaimed. "Send her to Canterlot Castle! That way Celestia will be able to restrain her! It's perfect! You'll send her right to the Princess, and with all threats gone from my world, I'll call her and warn her about what's going on...please tell me you can do this."

"Well, yes and no...I mean it's possible but, like with the Changeling's home, I've never been to Canterlot Castle either." Trixie said. Again their plan hit a snag but this time it was Trixie who had a solution. "But...you have."

"What are you saying?" Jon asked.

"I'm saying that, once I infuse the hexagon with a teleportation spell, it's going to need a destination point." She explained. "And that's where you come in...all you'll need to do is think of the princess' throne room, at some point during the spell's development, and I'll make it so the seal will automatically set that as the desired destination."

"So you're saying...I'll have to be in this transfer seal as well?" He asked.

"Yes but only long enough to set the waypoint." She answered. "After that you'll need to exit its radius so only Chrysalis will be affected."

"Then from there, she's out of our lives." Jon added. "We pull this off and she'll have a one way ticket to a royal beating. I love it!"

Getting up from the floor, Jon made preparations to leave. They only had a couple hours till show time and Jon wanted to hurry up. Trixie on the other hand had one last important point to go over with Jon.

"Stewart...before we head out we have one last issue to cover." She said.

"Oh what now. Please don't tell me there's still more bugs in our plan?" He said. "I know we're not working with very much but don't tell you still can’t do this."

"No I'm not. The plan...though risky, should work. In fact I'm certain it will, if we all play our parts right." She said assuredly. "The only problem is all of this will mean nothing if she gains any power from the audience."

As much as Jon was getting annoyed by Trixie’s constant second guessing he had to admit that she brought up a good point. Up until now they'd forgotten about the fact that while she's on stage she'll be subject to a serious amount of love.

"For me to pull this spell off I'll need some time...time in which she'll be growing in power." She continued. "And in that case we wouldn't really be accomplishing much...if anything we'd probably help in speeding up her invasion plan."

"Ok well, what if...what if I turn off the video feed so we aren't live?" Jon submitted. "Or if that doesn't work why don't I just make myself more interesting to draw attention away from her."

"I don't think that'd work. If you made it so her interview wasn't broadcasting she'd find out once she realized there was no love coming in." She said. "As for making yourself more interesting...no offense but if it’s between you and a talking pony I think she'll have you beat in terms of popularity."

Her explanation, though sensible and technically correct, was still a major blow to his ego.

"Ugh...you're right.” Jon said. “If I had to decide between an old fart and a talking animal I don’t think I’d choose any differently.

“This is a very complicated issue.” Trixie said. “Redirecting love isn’t an exact science.”

“No kidding…If only there was some way to make all the attention that would normally go to her fall onto...something...else." Jon said out loud while a thought was materializing in his head. Trixie saw this and asked if he was alright. But she got no response right away. Though in time a smile slowly crept onto Jon's face. "Trixie...this spell of yours...how long will it take?

"Oh uh...now that I think about it...how long does an interview usually go for?" She asked.

"An entire episode, including commercials, is a half hour with an interview taking up about five to seven minutes." He answered. His estimate frightened Trixie at first. On her best day it would probably take twice that long. But due to what was at risk Trixie threw away all doubts from her mind and spoke with confidence she never knew she had.

"Give me three minutes into the interview segment and I'll have it done." She said. "I'll prepare the spell for the first two thirds of the show and see if I can't get it done sooner...the real trick will be stabilizing enough magic to actually get it to work."

"Good." Jon cooed as he picked up his phone. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear."

"Who are you calling?" Trixie asked.

"A good friend of mine." He answered. "Someone with the ability to help us."

"W-wait a minute you're not trying to call Celestia are you!?" She urged. "Chrysalis will know, remember?"

"I'm not calling her." He said as he waited for his friend to pick up. "I'm calling someone much more powerful than Celestia...someone who has the ability to absorb love and attention even more than Chrysalis can."

This new and sudden declaration surprised Trixie to no end.

"You...you know a creature was such power?" She ventured.

"Of course I do." He said. "We go back a long ways." After a moment of continuous ringing a voice came from Jon's phone. It was one that Trixie did not recognize.

"Hello, Jon?" The voice said. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your show?"

"Hey, uh yeah I know but listen something has come up." Jon said back to the voice. "I know this is last minute but...I need your help."

For the next couple minutes Jon and the person on the phone exchanged words with one another. Both of them threw out names and phrases that Trixie did not understand but as time went on she understood what was going on. A few swapping of ideas later and the two finally came to an agreement.

"Alright so we understand each other?...Good! When I give the signal that's when you come out." Jon reiterated to the person on the phone. "Alright I'll see you there. Oh and one last thing...I know I don't need to tell you this but...bring your 'A' game."

With a click of a button Jon put his phone away and faced Trixie.

"So...what do you think?" Jon said. "Will this work?"

"Honestly...I think it will." Trixie said. "It's dangerous...but I know we can do it."

"Good...but Trixie...on the off chance that this doesn't work..." Jon said with a deep sigh. "If this doesn't work I'll try to hold Chrysalis back as long as possible...if that happens I want you to get Tracey and the kids and--"

"No." She said. "Don't. Don't talk like that...this will work. I'll make it work or die trying."

"And I appreciate that...but...but if it doesn't I want you to take my family and hide." Jon said pausing to crouch down in front of her. "Also...just in case I don't see you again...I'm really glad I had the honor of knowing the Great and Powerful Trixie." Without asking he stretched his arms forward and wrapped them around Trixie in a powerful hug. Although she tried not to, the worst case scenario did creep up in her mind, causing her to hug Jon back.

"Don't...don't be stupid." Trixie said holding back tears. "We're going to win...dammit we are going to win!"

The two of them stayed in a loving embrace till the sound of a car pulling up to the driveway got their attention.

"That must me my mom." Jon said signaling that it was time to leave. "Alright Trixie...you ready?"

Using her magic she levitated the book of magic spells to her side and conjured up her cape and hat to appear neatly in their correct locations.

"Yeah." She said. "I'm ready."

Following Jon, the two ran downstairs where the kids were already greeting their grandmother. Jon briefly explained to her that she needed to watch the kids while he and Trixie went to the office to take care of business. Neither of them revealed what was really going on though Jon's mother had her suspicions when Jon took an extra minute to say goodbye to his kids.

As to be expected, the kids didn’t like that Trixie was leaving them for the time being, but she assured them that she’d be back before they knew it. From there, Jon borrowed his mom's car and, with Trixie sitting in the back, set off back to work with what little time they had left.

By the time the two actually arrived at Daily Show headquarters, it was uncomfortably close for Jon to go on air. Before they left the house Jon called Selina and, at his request, she kept Chrysalis busy and most importantly away from the stage.

The time leading up to the actual show was spent reformatting the stage to appropriately handle having a pony guest on the show; or at least that's what was told to anyone who wanted to enter early.

Even before the audience members were allowed in, Jon's staff and some interns were busy on set with painting the hexagon from Twilight's spell book onto the floor. Trixie assured everyone that as long as the transfer seal was close enough to the subjects they would be affected. So to that end the entire set, on which Jon's desk was bolted to, was turned upside down and the symbol was painted underneath it.

A few of the more artistic interns did the same behind the backdrop. They painstakingly drew the same hexagon as was displayed in the book right down to every design and symbol. It was now almost time for the show to begin and, in preparation for this, everyone parted ways with Jon waiting just outside the entrance to the stage and Trixie behind the backdrop. By this time, the crowd had already swarmed in and taken their seats, each ready for the show to officially begin.

But perhaps the most anxious was Queen Chrysalis who was still in her Lyra form. To pass the time she was in the waiting room where she watched the TV in the corner and counted the minutes till her segment was up. Selina however was not with her but instead backstage delegating some last minute issues.

The plan had already been explained to her but she was still iffy on some details so for her own sake she decided to sneak behind the backdrop and consult with Jon's pony friend to help her understand. The space behind the backdrop of the show was narrow and dark with many loose floorboards and low hanging wires. Eventually she came to the spot that would be located directly behind Jon's desk and there, standing on all fours complete with a cape and magician’s hat, was Trixie.

She had the spell book spread out in front of her and directly on top of a circle that matched the one under Jon's feet. Her eyes were closed and she was taking look deep breaths, inhaling through her nose and exhaling out of her mouth. She was so focused she could even hear Selina coming over the sound of the audience making noise.

"Do you need something, Selina?" Trixie asked.

"Yes actually." She answered. "I'm still a bit confused about this plan."

"You needn't worry." Trixie said. "Stewart and I have it under control."

"Yes, well...it'd help ease my nerves if you'd run me through it once more." Selina retorted. It was understandable for someone like her to want some closure, so to help Trixie turned to the human assistant and gave her a look of empathy.

"Very well...here's the plan. This circle here in front of me will magically connect to the one under Jon's desk." Trixie began. "Once I properly activate it both will act as two halves of the same entity. When that happens, any spell infused in one will eventually be infused with the other. Anypony on top of, or directly interacting with, either circle will be affected by whatever spell is set within it."

Nodding her head Selina listened, occasionally writing down a note or two in her clipboard.

"Once I set a teleportation spell in here it will need a destination and that's where Jon comes in." Trixie continued. "All he'll have to do is visualize Princess Celestia's throne room and that spell will accept that as its destination since he'll be in the circle as well. From there all I'll need to do is stabilize enough magic in my horn and transfer said magic into the hexagons...it may take a little while for that much magic to calibrate itself into the two circles but once it does, it'll activate, fully sending Chrysalis back home."

"Forgive me for asking but do you really need the entire episode to pull off this spell?" Selina asked trying to sound respectful. "Seems like an awful amount of time."

Although it sounded mean Selina was right. Any other competent Unicorn with experience could probably have the spell activated much sooner. For someone like Celestia or Twilight activating the circle, infusing it with a spell then jump starting it with magic would take only a few minutes individually.

"It seems like a long time but that's mainly because...I'll be honest I'm not as proficient in magic as I'd like to be." Trixie admitted. "But the reason why this'll take a while is because I'm combining two spells together at once...in Unicorn terms it's called ‘binary casting’ which eats up magic at a much higher rate...so I need to pace myself here, less I pass out."

To signal that she was finished explaining herself, Trixie went back to her meditation. Though Selina was not yet done with her.

"One last thing," she said. "You said anyone in the circle or in direct contact with it will be affected by its magic."

"I did say that." Trixie said, her eyes still closed.

"But then won't that mean both you and Jon will be get sent away with that...that thing?" Selina asked.

"No...the hexagon on Stewart's side is mostly surrounding Chrysalis' spot...all Jon has to do is scoot back slightly in his chair and he'll be outside it's grasp." Trixie answered. "As for me, I'm going to stabilize a large amount of magic and then I'll put in the circle instead of sending a constant stream within it...by the time it registers my magic and fully activates, me and Stewart won't even be close to it...any more questions?"

Shaking her head, Selina turned on her expensive heals and made her way back to the to the entrance of the main stage, leaving behind only a bottle of water in case Trixie got thirsty. A few interns and stagehands were gathered just outside the main stage. Upfront was Jon getting ready for his cue to go on stage, take his desk, and begin the episode. She cut through the employees and walked up ride beside him.

"Jon, this is insane." She said bluntly.

"No, insane is when we invited Ralph Nader on show back in '08’" Jon said. "Talk about boring...the man constantly looks like his dog just died."

A couple of the interns behind him chuckled which caused Selina to look at them with glaring eyes. They quickly stopped after a stifled cough and, right away, she was back to talking with her boss.

"How...can you be so blasé about this?" She asked. "Jon...you could get seriously hurt out there. I talked with Trixie and for god's sake this plan of yours...what if it fails."

"It won't. I won't let it." Jon said. "And as for why I'm acting the way I am, well...it's almost show time."

His answer did very little to impress Selina or put her at ease. She responded by giving him an odd look.

"What?" Jon asked. "Someone around here needs to take charge...plus I need to set a good example for everyone in the office."

"Jon...I appreciate you're wanted to keep moral high, but I think you might be over your head here." She said. "I don't wish to nag but...but all this about magic and spells and incantations, I mean...is there no other option here...these creatures are dangerous and we know so little about them."

"You know what Selina?" Jon said as he counted the seconds till he had to go on stage. "You're right...I don't know much about magic or how it works. And yes Chrysalis may have an advantage over me in terms of power but at the same time...just look at where we are?"

Making a sweeping motion with her hands, he presented her with a view of the stage, his desk, and the audience while the humming of the cameras and machinery turning on filled their ears.

"She may have her magic." Jon said as he slowly made his way on stage. "But she's in my world now."

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Three minutes

It was hard for Selina to adequately express how she felt about her boss at the moment. His family had been threatened by some other worldly monster and his only plan to get them out rested in the hooves of a Unicorn who, from what she understood, barely knew any magic.

She was impressed and yet, at the same time, somewhat abhorred by the fact that he could walk on stage with a smile on his face like nothing was wrong. Had it been her in this situation she would have found herself spiraling into the realms of madness.

For someone who claimed to be terrible at gambling, Jon had one hell of a poker face that night. To everyone watching, including his staff members, he looked as eager now as he did when he first took over the show from Craig Kilborn all those years ago. He may have had everyone fooled into thinking he was alright but deep down he was a whirlwind of emotions. Scared, angry, hopeful, anxious, he was all of these things and more. To him if even the slightest thing went wrong everything would fall apart, so he knew he had to keep a straight face throughout the show, lest Chrysalis were to suspect something.

His years of training made it so he would do just that as he walked across the stage and waved to the occasional audience members. The cameras were on but not filming so anything done now didn't get broadcasted, which Jon liked because it meant he could have some brief quality time with the live audience on the set before starting the show.

The walk to his desk seemed longer today than it usually did and at least once or twice Jon caught himself looking at the area of the backdrop where Trixie would most likely be. Everyone present could see that Jon looked to be fine, all but Trixie of course since she was out of sight. He trusted her with his life but the fact that he couldn't see her meant he was going in blind. For all he knew, she could have gotten scared and ran off by now, but even though he couldn't see her, he knew she was there, just as ready as he was.

He waved one last time and took his seat, ready to begin. He started to address the audience by thanking them for their patience...but they heard nothing. He did speak but his voice didn't carry over, possibly due to some audio malfunction. Such a thing may seem very inconsequential since the show hadn't even started yet, but that's not how Jon felt.

With heavy breathing and eyes which looked like they were watching a high pace tennis match Jon tried to ascertain what went wrong. He shifted in his seat and wondered what was happening and if this was only the beginning of many blunders to come.

Before he could go into a frenzy, he felt someone gently grab his shoulder and when he looked over to see who it was, he saw Selina standing behind him. Reaching over he grabbed his microphone piece which had fallen to the ground. She leaned forward and, like a fussy mother getting her kids ready for school, she attached it back onto his lapel.

Before leaving she gave him a wink and a pat on the shoulder which not only caused the audience to laugh but also gave Jon a little boost of confidence. Again, his mouth opened and he began to address the audience, taking individual questions and answering them the best he could. This went on till a stagehand gave both him and the audience the signal to stop talking. They did so and as a result lights began to turn on and the little red light which indicated what camera was broadcasting began to shine bright. The show had officially begun.

The audience waited with anticipation as the show's announcer spoke overhead. In just a few seconds they would be allowed to speak again.

"From Comedy Central Headquarters in New York," the announcer said. "This is the Daily Show with Jon Stewart!” As opening tittle theme, Bob Mould’s "Dog On Fire,” began to play, a camera made a sweep from a downward angle while the audience cheered with all their might. Eventually the camera closest to Jon zoomed in on him.

Jon took one last final deep breath as did Trixie who was now pointing her horn at the hexagon.

"Hello everyone welcome to the Daily Show! My name is Jon Stewart, oh BOY do we have a show for you tonight!" He said over the audience. "Uh, our guest tonight...the newest edition to our ongoing 'Equestrian Interviews,' Lyra Heartstrings will be on the show with us tonight!"

Most if not all of the audiences present were under the impression that tonight's episode was a normal one so for them to have lucked out like this meant that their cheering came back bigger and louder than ever. Jon however had other plans in mind.

"Fun fact about Lyra...It's actually a small constellation out of 48 listed by the 2nd century astronomer...Ptolemy...and uh, and is one of the 88 constellations recognized by the International Astronomical Union...It's, it's almost as if we just looked at that up on Wikipedia right before the show" Jon said getting a quick laugh in return. "Aaah yeah so, she'll be on the show later tonight, but right now I want to talk about gun control. For the past several days now..."

From there on out the rest of the show went remarkably well. Like before no one but a select few knew that Jon was actually setting up an elaborate trap; to those watching at home, nothing seemed wrong.

Jon wasn't the only one who was working it onstage. A few feet behind him behind a thick backdrop Trixie had already began the process in getting the magical transferring hexagon operational. She did so in increments throughout the show in conjunction with each of Jon's segments.

The first part of the show was spent by Jon talking about gun control and how the issue needs to be discussed while at the same Trixie used her magic to activate the hexagon. She used her magic to turn it from a just drawing done by the interns into a working entity.

This spell, though not considered to be too particularly advanced, took Trixie most of the first segment of the show to activate. By the time Jon told the audience that he would be right back from the first commercial she had barely just finished getting it up and ready.

The second segment of the show involved Jon talking about the United States’ debt crisis and how the government still hadn't properly dealt with it. Again while this was happening, Trixie wasted no time in getting the ready with the second phase of her spell. She worked while Jon made fun of politicians she had never heard of by using terminologies and insults she didn't understand.

For Trixie, this next step was a lot easier than the last. All she had to do was infuse within the circles a spell that hadn't been charged with magic. Which was like moving a large briefcase without any content. Even though it was easier than expected, this was two spells being combines together, which meant that it still took Trixie a little while before she complete it.

To her surprise, she actually managed to conjure the trap sooner than expected, which meant that the circle was now activated and was infused with her desired spell. The time between her momentary completion and the third and final segment was spent by Trixie having a quick breather and doing her best to not tire out early. She was tired but she still had a little more ways to go.

Meanwhile back on stage Jon was getting ready for the most important and most anticipated portion of the show. The last break of the evening was almost over and he was still sitting in his seat getting ready to the introduction of his guest. Sometimes during breaks, he liked to stand up and stretch but in this case he was sure if he tried to stand up his legs would give out.

He tried not to turn around and look towards the backdrop because he knew that behind that wall, Trixie was hard at work. So instead, he turned to his other side at where that same backdrop ended at a wall and hoped to god that everything was set up properly.

He was understandably nervous since the only thing going through his head was that of his family waiting for him back home. Once or twice, a worst case scenario tried to invade his mind again, but he quickly pushed it aside. He needed to have a clear mind right now more than ever.

To do this he sat back in his seat and rubbed his head. He needed to calm himself down so he began to imagine Celestia's throne room where all of this started all those months ago. He thought about how it felt to have the cold ground beneath his feet. He remembered how different their world smelled and how the air tasted strangely different yet similar. He could perfectly see in his mind her magnificent stained glass windows and tasteful decorations.

Jon regretted that he was going to send such a foul creature within such beautiful walls, but if anyone could stop her, it was Princess Celestia. Thinking about Canterlot castle made Jon smile. It was after all the place where he first met Celestia, sparking a chain of events that led him to discover the wonderful world known as Equestria.

Since then, he'd experienced new things he thought weren’t possible and met new friends, one of whom was right behind him. It was a pleasant thought which did not go unnoticed. Backstage, Trixie was focusing on her breathing to keep herself calm when the circle began to glow in power. Trixie knew what this meant...it now had its destination.

Like a kid finding out they’re late for school she quickly jumped from her seat and ran up to the circle on the floor, staring at it for a few seconds to be sure it was indeed ready. At the time the circle was active with a teleportation spell properly infused, but without enough magic for it to fully function it was nothing more than a gun without ammo. Knowing this she tilted her head back and began to concentrate on circulating what magic she had left to the tip of her horn. She needed a massive amount of magic for the spell to actually activate so from here she ignored all sounds and just tried to stabilize as much of her power as she could.

Everything was now riding on Jon and Trixie to fulfill their ends of the plan. If Trixie was telling the truth, the spell to get rid of Chrysalis would be activated in no less than three minutes into the interview which was more than enough for Jon to handle the Changeling Queen.

Jon knew that, at this point, the spell underneath him now had its destination leaving any further input on his end unnecessary. He was still deep in thought but he had now moved on to thinking about the people he loved. Both back at home and here in the studio. He vowed that he would see them again no matter what. He vowed he would win.

The sound of the last commercial break ending shattered Jon's reflective state of mind. All the pieces were now in play. Jon was sitting at the helm of the stage, Trixie was ready backstage, and Jon's support was nearby. All that was left was for the last piece of the puzzle. Chrysalis herself.

The crowd cheered at the sight of the Daily Show logo appearing. It meant that now the main event was about to start. They cheered and yelled wildly while the camera zoomed in on Jon slapping his desk like they were bongos. He looked like he was trying to dance while at the same time making pretend he was playing an instrument. He didn't speak right away which made the crowd to slowly calm down.

"Hey everyone welcome back my guest tonight!" He said as he twirled his pen. "She is a Unicorn resident of Ponyville and a proclaimed researcher of humans. Please welcome to the show, Lyra Heartstrings."

Like he would for any other guest Jon got up from his seat to eventually greet his guest though in this instance he only did so to now draw suspicion. No sooner did he make his introduction did Chrysalis make her way onto the stage where she was immediately greeted by cheers and yelling. Jon applauded too, but deep down, he felt nothing but contempt.

Jon watched as Chrysalis disguised as Lyra slowly made her way to the desk. She looked exactly like Lyra in every way shape and form but Jon could tell who she really was. Jon hated everything about her at that moment. The way she walked, the way she smiled, even the way she waved at the audience, all of it just fueled Jon's desire to walk up to her and punch her right in the face.

She walked almost coquettishly in nature and she had a look on her face like she was really happy to be present. Normally this would indicate to Jon that he picked a good person to interview, but all he wanted was to get her out of his life as soon as possible.

Eventually she did make it to Jon's desk and, with an evil grin, offered her hoof for him to shake. It was almost too much for Jon to bare. All his anger for her was curled up inside him like a rattlesnake poised to attack, but for the sake of the plan, he swallowed his pride and shook her hoof.

The hand to hoof shake lasted longer than usual with each party staring down the other. Jon gave him an overly firm grip to show that he didn't like her. Chrysalis did a similar action by using her magic to very delicately put pressure on his neck as if to say: "If I wanted to, I could."

Without saying anything, Jon went back to his desk. He was about to sit down when his guest called out to him.

"Aren't you going to offer me a seat?" She said.

It was loud on the set but Jon heard her request quite clearly. He took a deep breath and clenched his fist so tight his nails digged into his skin. It took all the restraint he had to not turn around and attack her though he greatly wanted to.

"Of course." He said with smile which neatly masked his anger. He offered her a seat which she gladly took. The crowd was just about done with their cheering when Jon sat down and faced to his opponent.

"I can do this." Jon thought with his hands folded in front him like he was praying. "...I can do this."

He took one last deep breath and with it he remembered everything that was at stake. His family, his friends, the fate of both his world and Equestria’s.

He then exhaled, expelling the same breath and any sense of doubt along with it. He was ready.

"Hello Lyra and welcome to the show!" Jon said with a smile. "Thanks for joining us here tonight."

"I'm just glad I could make it." She said back with a smile that matched his own. "I've always wanted to visit the human world...I'm also a big fan of the show so I'm really happy I could attend."

"You're not the only one." He said. "The audience didn't-- we didn’t advertise that tonight's interview would be an Equestrian...so yeah, as you might've guessed, they're pretty happy too."

Jon was right but never before did he wish he hadn't been. Yes the audience was elated to see Chrysalis which of course meant that her plan to absorb their love was going as scheduled.

According to Trixie, the process by which a Changeling consumes someone's love is slow moving at first, but as time goes on it gets stronger and faster. From what he understood, a Changeling's body takes in love hesitantly at first in order to determine what kind of love it is, but like a glutton, the host will want more and more and the longer the exposure, the more they take.

At this point even though Chrysalis wasn't getting that much power right away she immediately started to feel better since they was getting a tiny amount of magic from so many locations. Jon could stand to stall for time but if he didn't do something to transfer that love somewhere else soon then by the end of the show she would be hundreds of times more powerful than she'd ever been.

"So Lyra...it's really good to see you again after all this time." He said. "What most people don't realize is that...before--prior to some of these...t-these Equestrian Interviews I actually go...and meet up with the pony I want to invite on the show. In some cases I meet some other pony in the process...and of course that's how we met...remember that day?"

For the audience and those watching at home this was an interesting tidbit followed by an innocent question, but in actuality it was Jon giving Chrysalis a pop quiz. If she wanted to look like Lyra, talk like Lyra, and indeed think like Lyra, then she would get questions that only Lyra would know. Jon was somewhat scared that his line of questioning might enrage her since this was basically him trying to get her to break character.

Rather than being annoyed with Jon's underhanded scheme she smiled at him and answered as if she knew that he was going to ask that.

"Oh well yeah sure I do! If I recall you were walking in the streets...aaand I tackled you!" She answered, accepting Jon's challenge. "I think I apologized for that but if I didn't...yeah my bad."

"You made me-- I almost choked to death because of you! Then you nearly broke my spine." Jon said, purposely leaving out the details.

"Hey now, you make it sound like I attacked you! If you'll recall you were choking on your food and I rescued you...also, folks at home don't believe him, I didn't break his back...what happened was I accidentally made him throw out his back...but I fixed that too." She said. The crowd laughed at Jon's misfortune while she gave the host a smile. Rather than Jon annoying Chrysalis about her lack of knowledge, the exact opposite happened. Her proficient knowledge of Lyra was getting on Jon's nerves. "Anyways again I am sorry that we got off on the wrong hoof...I was just really excited to finally meet you!"

"Why?" Jon asked. The way he said it so bluntly made the audience laugh, something which Chrysalis didn't like. It may have been his show but to her she was main attraction, not him.

"Well I'm just really interested in human mythology." She answered. "In fact I--"

"Mythology?" Jon interrupted. "...I'm right here!" Again the audience laughed at Jon's brand of humor forcing Chrysalis to wait for them to quiet down before speaking again. Before she could explain herself though Jon sprung in to take control of the interview once again.

"Now like I said before a lot of people watching are surprised to uh...uh to, to, see you here." Jon continued. "Since of course you weren't originally scheduled to come on and I had to call to get you on the show last minute...but what I'm surprised to see...or uh rather uh, not see...is your companion...the mare I saw with you when we first met Ms...uh what was her name again?"

Like before, Jon's questions were actually him covertly trying to get Chrysalis to fumble with her performance on live television and, like before, Chrysalis was well prepared.

"Oh you must be thinking of my girlfriend...Bon Bon." She answered having clearly done her homework. "Yes I do realize we're usually always spotted together and well…what I can I say? We very much love each other’s company. As for why she's not here...I asked if she wanted to come with me but she declined...she said she was too busy but really she's just camera shy. That’s why, when Celestia asked, I told her I’d be coming alone. "

Not only did she correctly answer Jon's question but she managed to accurately hold her own without faltering. At first, Jon thought his little stunt was risky, but he soon found that Chrysalis had somehow researched her part beforehand.

The reason for this was she actually had her Changeling subjects spy on Lyra for just this reason. She thought she would make the perfect patsy. At this rate, Jon wasn't getting anywhere and already a full minute had passed. If he wanted to get rid of her now was the time. No amount of preparation could prepare her for what was about to happen.

Even with Jon not liking to have to put his friends in harm’s way never did he hesitate to call on the help of those he's trusted most. The first friend he asked was of course Trixie who was still in the back trying to accumulate as much magic as possible. She was helpful but by no means the only person who agreed to assist Jon. In fact there was another, someone who at that very moment was waiting for his signal to enter.

"We can-- Maybe in the future we can maybe get her to come on the show time." Jon said as he scratched the back of his ear. "I mean it would be nice to talk to her about--"

"JON STEWART!"

Without warning the sound of someone yelling out Jon's name ripped through the set. Whoever said it, did so through a voice amplification device so it was impossible to pinpoint where exactly it came from but it was loud enough that everyone heard it. Numerous wandering eyes looked in all direction to see who it was; even Trixie who was still focusing on stabilizing her magic got distracted for a second.

"What!?" Jon said in overly dramatic fashion. "Who said that!?"

"It was me Jon!" The voice boomed. From behind him a panel opened from the side of the stage revealing a hidden door. It slid open and out from its dark enclosure a lone figure stepped out. Jon still had his back to the person so he technically couldn't see him but he knew who he was...and so did everyone watching the show.

Within a second of his arrival, everyone present in the audience identified the figure and, with faces like they'd just seen Jesus' second coming, stood up to cheer and shout. In preparation for this Selina, as well as the older staff members, covered their ears, leaving the newer interns to learn firsthand just how loud an audience can get.

Their shouting was so boisterous everyone working backstage and in the building's main office could hear them. Trixie tried to ignore them but she soon found it impossible. She couldn't see what was going on but even she knew who it was. There was only one person who was left in the dark.

Looking back on this, there were two things that Queen Chrysalis wished she had known that, at the time, she did not. The first being who exactly was this human that had arrived without warning. And two: why, upon his arrival, did the flow of love that she had previously been accumulating had suddenly stopped. Not slowed down, or momentary stopped...but had been completely cut off from circulation. The reason for this was because it was now being redirected to a new source.

Had she done more research, she would have known the human who had emerged from backstage was more than just some stranger complete with a dark black suit and perfectly parted hair. But was in fact one of Jon's oldest friends, and former correspondent...the one, the only, Stephen Colbert.

Episode 14 [Queen Chrysalis]: Three's a crowd

Comedy Central had learned long ago that, individually, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were great at what they did. This is why they got their own shows; the Daily Show and the Colbert Report respectively. Another thing they learned was, when the two got together, they were a lethal combination; a true force to be reckoned with.

They placed them together for special events and (before the days of the Equestrian Interviews) would have one visit the other on the show whenever ratings were down. Back then, the most popular episodes were the ones that had them together in the same room. One famous example of their explosive chemistry was when Jon decided to have his “Rally to restore Sanity” and later the decision was made to have Stephen have his own event called the “Rally to keep fear alive,” then combine them together.

Having them work together was the studio’s ace in the hole. A last resort if all else failed...this was also one of those times.

"Oh my God!" Jon said still in his overly dramatic voice and facing the camera. "Stephen Colbert, what are you doing here and why do you have...a giant mustache?"

"Yes. What...am...I doing here?" Stephen said as he twirled his comically over sized mustache and raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Oh well I uh...I'm, I'm actually not entirely--"Jon stammered before cutting himself off. "Actually I'm more concerned with the evil mustache you seem to--"

"I'll tell you what I'm doing here!" He interrupted. "I'm here to take what's mine."

Everything about this man just perplexed Chrysalis. Who he was, why he was here, and most of all why his appearance seemed to have garnished more attention than her own. She hadn't yet put two and two together that Stephen’s being here had caused the flow of love to stop. For her, the notion that some mere human was yielding more attention than her was impossible.

Her confusion would have been very noticeable on TV were it not for the fact that every camera was now either on Stephen or in an angle where only he could be seen behind Jon. Only a very select few cameramen had any prior knowledge of his appearance but everyone present had worked in the entertainment industry long enough to know what, when Stephen Colbert walks into a room, all eyes are on him.

"Stephen, what are you talking about?" Jon asked with his back still to his friend.

"Yes. What...am...I talking about?" He responded.

"Right?" Jon said in confusion. "Also, why are you talking like tha--"

"I'll tell you what I'm talking about!" He interrupted again. "You have something...that I want!" After he was done talking he paused for dramatic effect, which gave the guest of the night an opening.

"Excuse me?" Chrysalis called out from off screen. "What's going on here?"

"I assure you I...I have no idea what you're talking about." Jon said, ignoring his guest.

"Oh I think you do." Stephen said. "I think...you...do."

"Stephen!" Jon said. "I'm telling you I don't know what you're--"

"I am not Stephen Colbert!" Stephen Colbert said.

"Then...uh, who are you?" Jon asked.

"Yes. Who...am...I?" He responded.

"Okay that's...seriously, you need to stop doing that!" Jon demanded.

"If you must know I am his evil twin brother...Stefan Kelbert!" He answered. "And for too long now have you pranced about with these...creatures!" Pointing ahead of him a camera panned out to get the two of them and Chrysalis.

"Ah yes that's better." She said. "Now then about my--"

"What's your point...Ste...Stefan?" Jon asked.

"My point is...you sicken me!" He said bluntly. "Trying to compete with my brother and his show is one thing but when you take away ratings that could otherwise go to him...that shit's personal!"

"I'm still not entirely sure why you're here." Jon said, looking worried.

"I'm here because I want in on this!" He said. "You will give the secrets to these ponies to my handsome brother and he will use them on his show!"

"I'm sorry...Mr. Kelbert but I just can't give my ponies to a man I've apparently never met before." He explained

At this point Chrysalis was understandably worried about the fact that she wasn't getting any power. Her better judgment was clouded by everything that was going on. Lacking any knowledge of who this man was and his relationship to Jon she was left feeling extremely confused. To her it almost looked as if these two men were fighting over her. Like a child she called out for attention but all eyes were still on Stephen.

"Well if you can't give them to me...then perhaps you'll give them to someone else!" Stephen said.

"Someone else?" Jon asked. "Like who, mysterious stranger."

"Someone...like ME!" He roared as he tore of his mustache off. The camera that was closest to him zoomed in on his face causing the audience to once again cheer and applaud.

"Oh my god...again!" Jon said. "Stefan Kelbert was Stephen Colbert the entire time!"

"That's Reverend Sir Doctor Sen. Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert, D.F.A, Heavyweight Champion of the World to you, Jon!" Stephen said with a crazed look in his eye and without faltering, causing the audience to cheer. "And I'm still here to take what I deserve! Come on Jon...give me your ponies...you know you want to!"

"Stephen, I'm sorry, but I’m going to have to say ‘no.’" Jon said. "You can't just barge in here unannounced and take whatever you want."

"Yes I can!" He answered back. "Because I'm an American!"

While the crowd cheered for Stephen's love of all things baseball and apple pie, Chrysalis was trying to get their attention.

"Hey, what's going on here?" She asked. When no one paid any attention to her, she began to get frustrated. "Hey cameraman! Am I even in the shot?" No one answered any of her questions.

"Why do you even want to interview these things anyway?" Stephen asked. "For god’s sake, they're just a bunch of little ponies!"

"They’re not just a bunch of little ponies...they're my little ponies!" Jon exclaimed causing the audience to cheer with excitement. "And my answer is still the same...you can't have them."

"I see...well in that case...I'm afraid I, Stephen Colbert...will have to take them from you by force." He said.

"Oh well you put it that way," Jon said, as he slowly slid his hand under his desk. "Then I guess...we'll...just...have to...FIGHT!"

With a graceful leap, one would expect from a man Jon's age, he quickly turned around and faced Stephen with a toy replica of a lightsaber. He slightly fumbled getting it to work but eventually he managed to fully extend the toy sword whereupon he walked backwards to round his desk while the crowd cheered him on and took photos.

Not to be outdone by his slightly older mentor, Stephen adjusted his glasses, took a heroic stance, and violently trusted his left arm outward with his fingers outstretched like he was summoning something.

When nothing happened for a few seconds a hefty intern jogged up behind him brandishing what looked like a giant hammer. When he got closer to Stephen the camera zoomed out more to get a good view of both of them revealing that the intern had a replica of Mjölnir, Thor's hammer.

He placed the weapon in Stephen's hand but he refused to grasp it, forcing the intern to manually close his fingers for him. He was now holding the Scandinavian weapon in his hand, but he still refused to move from his battle stance. That is until the intern produced a barber's brush and wiped away any debris from Stephen's shoulders.

After giving the intern a three dollar tip for his services, Stephen calmly walked down from his corner of the set and took his position directly across from Jon with only the Daily Show desk separating them.

The camera was positioned to show the two TV legends glaring at each other with Chrysalis still in her seat, looking very much confused and trying to make sense of what was going on. But at the same time there was also something going on behind the scenes. An important fourth party had just finished taking care of her own agenda.

Unbeknownst to the three on stage, Trixie had just gathered the necessary amount of magic needed to activate her trap. Carefully but quickly she placed the large amount of energy onto her side of the transfer circle. She had left herself only a small amount of magic, because giving away too much would cause her to faint like an individual who had donated too much of their own blood.

The hexagon was now transferring the magic over to the one under the stage like a cellphone being charged. All that was needed was for Jon and Stephen to distract everyone for the next couple of minutes while the spell slowly took effect, which they were now in the process of doing.

Like children in a playground the two friends began to slap fight each other with their memorabilia items on stage for the world to see, acting in forced antipathy. Jon held his lightsaber with both hands and swung wildly like Jackson Pollock on a caffeine drip while Stephen just looked like he was playing a particularly aggressive game of 'Whack-a-mole.'

The fight went on with no one getting the upper hand; the plan wasn't to have a brilliantly choreographed fight scene or to show any indication of skill. Their main goal was to look as foolish and uncoordinated as humanly possible and they did so most adequately.

The sight of two grown men fighting with toys was enough to send the crowd into an uncontrollable state of frantic cheering. And as before even though Chrysalis was in plain view, no love was coming her way, but instead to the two comedians, with a large percentage of it going to Stephen himself.

While this was happening, the circle of magic which was underneath the set was growing in power. At this point it was at about 32% complete with Chrysalis none the wiser.

For the sake of the audience who were watching at home, the camera changed gears to get a sweeping shot of the audience. This was done to show their reactions but also to give Jon and Stephen time to prepare for their next session. Chrysalis was dumbfounded to see two immediately drop their weapons and scramble to get things ready for another skit.

When the camera returned Jon and Stephen were still in front of the desk, but while the camera was away from them an intern came on stage and placed a small terrier in between them. The audience watched while the two tried to coax the small dog to them by increasingly ridiculous methods.

"Come here boy!" Jon yelled as he held up an squeaky toy. "I got a nice toy for ya!"

"No come over here!" Stephen challenged as he held up a picture of Ronald Reagan's face in one hand and a document in the other. "Come to me and you'll be granted a tax exemption of up to 15% as long as you make a net worth of $1500 per month!”

The white and brown dog was trained to not leave its spot no matter what so it just endlessly looked to back and forth in confusion as the two the continued to try and win by gaining its attention.

"Look what I got, Fido!" Jon said, escalated the arms race by holding up an enticing uncooked steak. "There's more where that came from over here!"

"Hey! Remember when you got fixed!?" Stephen asked as he produced a zip-lock bag which contained something that had the look and texture of raw meat. "You can have em back...all you need to do is come to me!"

The two of them weren't the only one's making a commotion on live TV. In the heat of the moment Queen Chrysalis was starting to feel the effects of not being noticed, still unaware of the impending trap which was now at 63% completion.

"Hey! S-stop this!" She yelled. "Stop whatever it is you're doing! This is supposed to my interview!" She screamed for attention but couldn't be heard over the performance of Jon and Stephen, as well as the yelling of the audience. Things only got more one-sided when again, the camera switched from the stage to the audience again for another reaction shot. Like before, this was done to give the two on stage time to prepare for their next bit.

Chrysalis watched as the two immediately took opposing seats on the desk. Jon had pulled out something from under his seat that she'd never seen before and the two continued their fighting. When the camera returned to the set the audience now saw the the two comedians with already setup "Battleship stations" in front of them. Their war was not over yet, at least not until the spell was complete; which, at the moment, was at only 78%.

"E3!?" Jon yelled.

"Miss!" Stephen responded. "G7!?"

"Miss!" Jon answered as he put the corresponding indicator on his side. "A2!?"

"Miss!" Stephen said. "L10!?"

"SON OF A BITCH! HIT!" Jon yelled while making a face like he was trying not to laugh. Before speaking he took a second to think about his next move. "D5!?"

"Nooooooo!" Stephen yelled. "You sunk my battleship!" In anger he swung his arms across the table sending children's toy tumbling to the ground surprising everyone who saw. Still brimming with conservative rage Stephen grabbed a hold of Jon's hand forcing him into a battle of thumb wars while Chrysalis looked on, trying not to break character.

Unknown to everyone including Jon, the spell was almost complete. While the two friends aggressively fought to get the upper thumb, and pin their opponent for three seconds, the spell had just cross the threshold of being 90% complete.

This time instead of having a wide angle shot of the entire set the camera had zoomed in on Jon and Stephen. Lost in the chaos that was their performance the cameramen had all but forgotten about Queen Chrysalis in the corner who was still desperately trying to bring the attention to her.

She screamed and hollered at anyone nearby in the vain hope that she would be noticed again. When it was clear that the two comedians in front of her were what the audience wanted and not her, she began to get angry. She tried her hardest not to explode with rage since doing so would be very out of character for Lyra, but when she looked over to see the screen on the side edge of the set (which had a live feed of what audiences were looking at) she noticed that she wasn't even visible anymore. This was what tilted her over the edge.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" She ordered as she jumped in front of the desk to get in the view of the camera. Using her magic, she managed to amplify her voice so that it would carry over everyone else's. Her voice was so loud and the audio feedback from her mic so pain shriekingly sharp that everyone silenced themselves. As she wished, all eyes were back on her, but the amount love coming her way was still ever tardy.

She looked to be somewhat out of breath, mostly due from all the shouting she was doing beforehand. Her angry eyes looked around the room just to make sure that she was once again the center of attention.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, BUT DAMMIT, THIS IS MY TIME AND I WILL NOT BE OVERSHADOWED BY A HUMAN!" She roared. Taking another breath, she slowly made her way back to her seat and sat down while a scared cameraman followed her movement. "Now then...my interview will continue normally, the new human will leave, and all of you will give me the attention that I deserve…OR ELSE!"

To demonstrate, as well and intimidate, she slammed her hoof against the ground causing a slight tremor to shake the building. This was done by her sending a shock-wave of magic down into the ground to replicate an earthquake.

After her rant came to an end, the entire set went silent. The audience was left more confused than Chrysalis herself had been, and those who weren’t looked scared. They wondered if this was all part of the interview segment or perhaps some form on unscripted crisis.

Much like the audience themselves Jon and Stephen were left scared and confused, respectively. Stephen wondered what exactly was going to happen while Jon was scared by the fact that Chrysalis was still present.

He quickly looked down at his clock then back up at his guest.

"Something is wrong." Jon thought to himself. "Why is she still here?" Chrysalis' presence only made him more anxious when he realized that she should have been teleported nearly a full minute ago. What he didn't know however was that backstage Trixie had miscalculated the amount of magic needed to get the spell operational. This oversight had made it so that spell was now stuck at 90%

It was as she feared from the start; Trixie blundered yet another simple spell.

"Hey, Jon?" Stephen whispered. "When is this spell of yours supposed to kick in?"

"It should've already happened." Jon answered. "I...I don't know what went wrong?"

"HEY!" Chrysalis yelled from across the room at Jon. "Stop your whispering and get over here! Tell your friend to leave now!"

"Dammit...we need more time." Jon said. Accepting that the plan might have failed, Jon slowly inched his way forward in accordance with Chrysalis' orders. But before he could get any closer Stephen placed a firm hand on his shoulder and yanked him back.

"Don't worry Jon." He said as he adjusted his tie. "I got this."

Rather than following orders, Stephen stepped up and began a confident stroll up to the dangerous pony who was glaring at him so hard that Jon could feel it. The audience said nothing as did Jon, they both eagerly awaited to see what he would do. Were it not for the fact that she was still on live television Chrysalis would have used her magic to cause him bodily harm. But since she didn't want to give herself away she instead just waited to see if he'd leave. He didn't.

"Lyra right?" He said. Without asking he grabbed her hoof and shook it a couple of times before she jerked it back. "Nice to meet ya kid...didn’t mean to cause any harm." With eyes that looked like they could kill she glared at Stephen while he took out a small bottle of hand sanitizer and rubbed it on his hands.

"Apologize." She demanded. "I want to hear you apologize to me for interrupting my interview."

"Very well. I apologize that I’m so much more interesting. There." He said.

"Excuse me!" She said in shock. Turning on his heels Stephen walked forward to face the camera while simultaneously pointing to Jon.

"Oh and Jon! I take back what I said about wanting your ponies…you can have em'!" He said. "Because I have something even better! Something that you will never have!" Unsure of where he was going with this, Jon looked over and his guest who looked like she was about to erupt with rage, then back at Stephen.

"And...what would that be?" He asked.

"That would be the millions people in the world who are proud members of the Colbert nation!" He answered as he pointed at the audience with two hands. "WHOOOOOOO!"

It was at that moment, more than at any point during the program, did Jon seriously feel as if someone was trying to take over his show. The audience took Stephen's bait and, just as he planned, began to pay tribute to their beloved TV host.