And that's the end of that chapter
Anon is sitting on a crystal bench as he examines his “hotdog,” or so they call it. This isn’t what he was expecting when he was told that the crystal empire had hotdogs. He thought he finally found a place to call home, a place with some actual meat, but just like everything else in Equestria, he hasn’t been having much luck. The dog in his hand is just further proof of his continued failure.
What makes this hotdog a mockery of the ones on earth?
Well, the first part is that the bun is just a fucking crystal carved to look like a traditional bun. How can these ponies be this retarded? It’s a literal crystal, not that weird rock shit Pinkie uses for her candy sometimes. That’s not the worst part, no. In place of the liquified abomination of animal stuffs, made into a paste and then packed into the intestines of its brethren, is a carrot sitting between the carved crystal bun.
Anon would cry right now if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s been disappointed enough times to have already expected something like this would happen. He lets out a sad sigh. He paid money for this trash and now he can only contemplate what to do with it. Anon hears the growl of a stomach that wasn’t his own. He looks over to see a weird looking pony sitting next to him on the bench.
True, all ponies look weird on this planet, but this one is special. For one, it’s all black, lacks pupils, and even has holes in its legs. Hell, if this pony fell down the ugly tree, it would’ve died on the way down and grew an even uglier tree where its decaying corpse was. Basically, it’s one ugly motherfucker. The pony beside him lets out a sad sigh as well. Seems Anon isn’t the only one having a bad day.
“You hate the food here too?” Anon asks.
The pony jerks slightly as it looks up at Anon. It then looks around confused, as if thinking Anon was talking to someone else. When it finds no pony around it looks at Anon and points at itself.
“Me?” the pony-bug-thing asks.
“Who else am I talking to?”
The pony looks really confused. “Um... Well, I guess I’m just used to ponies ignoring me.”
Anon gets that. Most ponies ignore him too. Not that he’s ugly like this pony, but because he’s super tall and looms over everyone. Yup, that’s definitely the reason.
“I know that feels. So what’s got you down in the dumps? Is it the hotdogs?”
The pony shakes his head. “No...”
A much louder growl leaves the pony as he holds his stomach in pain. Anon looks to his hotdog and then at the pony. Well, it’s not like he’s going to eat this abomination.
“Here.”
Anon offers him one of the cardinal sins made into the form of one of his once beloved foods. The pony looks at the hotdog, then at Anon and shakes his head.
“I don’t eat pony food.”
Well, so much for that. Anon tosses the hotdog behind him. The sound of shattering glass and a pony yelping in surprise is heard in the distance. It’s not like he’s going to eat it and he’s tired of holding something so worthless.
“Do you eat meat as well?” Anon asks, getting back on track.
The pony shakes his head. “No.”
Well, this is getting weird. If this pony doesn’t eat pony food or meat, then what else is there? Eh, doesn’t matter. Anon might as well introduce himself. After all, this is one of the first ponies, not counting the Elements, that’s willingly talked to him.
“I’m Anon.”
Anon offers the pony a hand to shake but notices how much he’s shaking as his hand gets closer. Is this pony on drugs or something? Maybe that’s why he looks the way he does? Anon briefly remembers that weird anti-drug commercial where the lady goes batshit crazy and destroys her home with a frying pan. It took him years to realise she was referencing the effects of drug abuse and not the normal monthly mood swings a woman has.
“T-T-Tho-o-orax-x”
Anon comes back from that memory as he returns his attention to the pony. Alright, this is getting weird. This pony is actually scooting away from Anon’s hand now that it’s closer. Either this pony is on a withdrawal of some kind or is racist as shit. Most likely racist, like all the other ponies here.
“Is something the matter?” Anon asks with some irritation in his voice.
The pony is now trembling, but hasn’t moved away from Anon’s hand, instead just staring at it like a weirdo.
“W-we changelings feed on love...” he states. “S-Since I’ve been accepted into the empire... I thought I would be fed, but ponies are still scared of me.”
Changeling? Anon has no idea what the hell that is. Sound like a bad excuse for an OC in the Sonic fandom. Shapeshifty the changeling hedgehog. Yeah, that’s a badass name actually. Original character, please don’t steal. Anon then realises the pony is still here.
“So... Feeding on love. How does that work?”
“Many ways... The best and most immediate is intercourse.”
Yo, that’s crazy! Getting fed from sex? Sounds pretty awesome. Hell, if Anon could do that... He’d starve. Shit, well, so much for that thought.
“That’s cool. So why don’t you just bang a mare or something?”
Seems like the obvious course of action for the pony. He still is a pony after all, regardless of how ugly he is.
“I-I can’t... No pony wants a one night stand with a changeling.”
Well, Anon has nothing better to do.
“You good at sucking dick?” The changeling looks up at Anon in surprise and nods his head. “I’ve got some free time. Wanna fuck?”
Thorax can’t believe his luck! He springs up to his hooves in excitement to finally get some love.
“Sure!”
“Well, at least someone will get a piece of meat today.”
Anon sadly reflects on that thought as Thorax and him head on over to a hotel for the night.
Author's Note
I apologise for nothing.
