A Rough Day

by Chezmonkey

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 1684

In which Luna raises the sun, and a group of kidnappers sincerely regret their actions.

Celestia would do almost anything to ensure the safety of her beloved younger sister, even if it meant giving in to the demands of a group of scoundrels and thieves.

Luna? Luna doesn't worry about her sister's safety. After all, nopony had dared to kidnap the Solar Princess for hundreds of years.

The only thing this latest group needed was a reminder why.

A quick short story that popped into my head while doing research for other works. Fair warning, I'm my own editor so if anything slipped through the cracks, that's why. Enjoy!

Technically a crossover, if only barely.

Featured 11/18/17 - Wow, that was quick.

Published 2017-11-17 05:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-17 05:20:06 UTC

Kidnappers Beware

Princess Luna stood upon the balcony of her room in the Palace, eyes shut in concentration as her horn glowed bright with her magic. Slowly, the ribbons of sorcery trailed from her horn up into the night sky, enveloping the moon within her power. Gently, Luna began to lower her head. As she bowed, the moon followed the path of her horn to softly sink behind the edge of the horizon.

Twilight spread over the land as the last silver sliver of moon slipped from view. Luna panted, her job complete as she gathered her power back within. Any moment now, her sister would raise the sun and a new day would dawn upon the kingdom of Equestria.

And after that, Luna could finally get some sleep. While she and her sister had come to an understanding that neither meant to be rude whenever they turned in for bed, they both also agreed that they would make an effort to at least properly say goodnight to each other.

With that in mind, Luna quietly trotted her way towards the castle’s dining hall, wondering what exotic fruit her sister had coated in sugar and syrup for today’s pancake breakfast. As she reached the doors of the dining hall, two nearby guards straightened their spears and attempted to look alert.

Luna felt bad for the night shift of Guards, really. Not even half of the night guard were thestrals, and those who weren’t simply could not stay as alert and awake as their nocturnal counterparts. Regardless, they did their duty as best they could, and that was sufficient for either princess.

The doors parted in her magical grasp as she entered the dining hall, summoning every bit of energy she had left in an attempt not to slouch or appear exhausted. “Good Morning, Dearest Sister!”

Luna blinked. The hall was dark, and empty. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw the guards from the hallway stick their heads in, confused. No candles were lit, no tablecloth set or delicious smell of food wafting in the air.

In fact, her sister was completely absent. To Luna’s horror, the sky outside the windows remained in the faintly glowing state of twilight, signaling that her sister had in fact not performed her most sacred duty yet.

“Of all the days to oversleep!” she scoffed, whirling about and stomping back into the corridors of the castle. Her anger kept her motivated as she climbed stairs and trotted hallways, gaining in speed until she was at a near canter.

Within moments, she was outside the doors to her sister’s chamber. “Honestly now, one wouldst think she could manage to awaken on her own after these thousands of years. Or at least set an alarm!” Luna punctuated her grumbling statement by slamming her hooves against the doors, sending an echoing bang into the chambers beyond.

“SISTER, AWAKEN NOW. THOU HAST OVERSLEPT YOU LOLLYGAGGING NITWIT!”

Concerned faces poked into the corridor from various antechambers and rooms, most of the castle staff having been awoken by Luna’s impromptu wake-up call. Despite the fact that the uproar she had created was near-impossible to ignore, no response came from behind the polished doors to Celestia’s suite.

“Oh, for the love of Faust” Luna moaned, seizing the doors with her magic. After a carefully executed spell to identify herself to Celestia’s wards, she opened the chamber doors and walked inside.

The chamber beyond was dark, barely lit by the embers from a nearby hearth. With a thought Luna stoked the flames until they burned bright and cheerful once more, and toggled a nearby wall sconce to illuminate the mage-orbs within.

Light blazed forth from a chandelier high above, and Luna could finally see the suite in detail. There was her sister’s wardrobe, bathroom, bed-sheets tossed ever so carelessly on the floor, even her golden curtains torn and-

Luna’s eyes narrowed. Her sister’s bedroom appeared to have been ransacked, turned over in some mad search for something. Celestia’s bed was empty, devoid of any coverings or alicorns with sparkling manes. In the middle of the circular mattress was a carefully folded slip of paper.

Shaking with rage, Luna brought the paper close to her face with her magic and opened it, already dreading what she would find within. Shaky hoofwriting was splashed across the sheet, as if written in a hurry.

We, the noble order of the True Equestrian Needs Party, hereby declare the tyrant ruler Celestia our prisoner. Our demands are simple:

2 million bits in easily transportable bonds, freedom for our incarcerated bretheren in Highwall Prison, and the abdication of the current ruling monarchs in favor of a Republic Democracy.

Release the bits into the care of our bretheren and give them transportation to the nation of Abyssinia. Then, notify the public of you and your sister’s abdication. Only after these terms have been met will we return the tyrant to your care.

Luna put her hoof on her face in frustration. These idiots had no idea what they’d done. If they were keeping her sister incarcerated and unable to perform her duties, then Luna would have to perform them in her stead.

Luna stepped onto the balcony outside her sister’s room, ignoring the flurry of activity behind her as guardsponies searched the chamber for clues regarding her sister’s kidnappers. She had no intention of meeting their demands, of course.

What frustrated her sleep-addled mind the most, in fact, wasn’t the fact that her sister had been taken at all. Her sister was nigh-impossible to outright kill, at least by the means of normal ponies. And while Celestia might do just about anything to rescue her younger sister, Luna had no such concerns.

She wouldn’t need to save Celestia. Really, she expected to have her returned safe and sound within a matter of days, if even that long. For while her sister had no trouble in performing Luna's duties with solar magic…

Her horn blazed as lunar magic bellowed forth, reaching beyond the horizon and grasping the sun. A feeling not unlike putting her fetlock above a candle resonated in her mind, and she gritted her teeth. Within moments of holding the sun within her power, she practically flung it up into the morning sky.

The sun did not come quietly.

An ear-shattering scream echoed across the land as the sun rose above the edge of sight, a visage of frightful anger appearing across its blinding surface. The sun continued its cry uninterrupted, and Luna turned away to re-enter the castle.

She spent a brief moment mourning the loss of sleep she faced as she now had to perform both Celestia’s duties and her own, all while suffering under the mind-numbing screech of the angry sun. Reaching out with her mind, she grabbed one of Celestia’s discarded pillows and tore it open, stuffing the filling into her ears.

At the door to the hallway she turned to the nearest guardspony and boomed “I RETURN TO MY CHAMBERS FOR A BRIEF REST. YOU MAY INFORM THE MAJORDOMO THAT DAY COURT IS CANCELLED.”

The guard rubbed their ears, turning to face the princess and yelling back “WHAT?” Luna facehooved, and walked away. Only she truly knew the terror the nation now faced. No magic could resist the sun’s wailing alarm. No material could truly drown out the incessant noise, merely dampen its effects.

She gave the kidnappers two days, tops,

Luna sat across from her sister at the dinner table, enjoying a well-prepared feast with her beloved family member. Sipping a glass of wine, she asked Celestia “So, how was your ‘righteous incarceration’?”

Celestia chuckled, quickly devouring a bite of the entrée and dabbing her lips with her napkin. “Well, it wasn’t truly that horrible. They used an anti-magic ring, which is always uncomfortable, and kept me in a locked hotel room for most of my visit.”

She smiled, enjoying a quick sip of her own beverage, a steaming cup of tea. “Still, I thought it polite to humor them for a few days, at least.” Luna snorted at that, stabbing a piece of steamed broccoli with a fork.

“I still cannot believe they managed to hold out for four days, honestly” Luna admitted. “Being able to ignore your dear sun’s cry of distress for so long is somewhat admirable. I myself had to put most of the staff to sleep after the second evening, to preserve their sanity.”

Celestia merely responded with a demure smile. Her beloved sun could be somewhat picky, it was true. It certainly detested the feel of lunar magic, for obvious reasons, and Luna had left it in the sky for the entire period of her absence.

By the end of the fourth day her captors had been practically crawling on the walls from a lack of sleep, and while she would never admit it she actually had to slip off the inhibitor they'd put on her horn and assist them with returning her to the Palace, lest they be driven entirely insane.

“Well sister, I think it’s a lesson nobody will soon forget.” Celestia finished her plate, and stood. “It is just about time for me to lower my poor sun, don’t you think?” As she raised her horn and lowered the bubble of solar magic that she had woven around them, the unmistakable wails of her upset charge filled the air.

If she listened closely, she could almost imagine that she could pick out the moans of her former captors as well, begging for the noise to stop, to let them catch a wink of sleep. Almost the entire nation had been magically spelled to a dreamless sleep to recover from the unbelievably obnoxious noise, but she and Luna had left their captors awake for an entire day further as punishment.

Celestia smiled.

Author's Note

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that 'The sun' was listed as a non-pony character for the show.

I like to think this is how it would respond to Luna trying to handle it without permission: