Coffee and Pranks don't always mix, Twilight
“Think fast,” came the shout behind Twilight’s head. She turned around, expecting to catch a muffin or jelly bean or something in her mouth and opened it wide, only to receive a snowball to the muzzle instead. She scowled and set down her book to wipe the slush off her face.
“Rainbow Dash! This is a cafe! It’s summer! Where did you even get a snowball?” Twilight searched her book to make certain that no stray snow had landed on her book before slamming it shut resolutely.
The alicorn’s irritation didn’t stop the pegasus from doubling over with laughter. “Bwahaha! You should have seen the look on your face, Twilight. It was sure worth the trip from the weather factory in Cloudsdale for this!”
Twilight levitated her book and coffee in her magic and stormed out of the cafe, almost tripping on the cooler Rainbow Dash had stashed outside. While that explained how she kept the snow so cold, but it didn’t explain how Twilight was supposed to react.
How should she react to this? Most ponies would just be annoyed and move on, but this was Rainbow Dash she was dealing with! Wouldn’t she expect her to do something back? Twilight sipped her coffee pensively. This sort of dilemma usually required careful, logical thinking.
Rainbow Dash wouldn’t prank her if she didn’t expect some sort of reaction from Twilight. What would Pinkie or Applejack do in response? Why, they’d prank Rainbow right back, and laugh, and isn’t laughter and fun what friendship is all about? Isn’t friendship what Twilight is supposed to be the Princess of?
Twilight grinned and gulped down the rest of her coffee. She trotted back inside, levitating bits out of her saddlebags and tossing them onto the counter. “Give me all of it,” she requested sweetly, taking a notepad and quill out from her saddlebags.
“But, Miss-” the poor colt running the counter started.
“No buts! I’m a Princess! I’ve got some planning to do, and I’m going to need more coffee!” Twilight clapped her hooves at the prospect. She got to figure out how to properly ‘prank’ Rainbow Dash! This was going to be wonderful!
“Um, Miss, that’ll be 142 bits…” the barista said nervously. He looked as though he would rather be anywhere else, and Twilight didn’t blame him one bit.
“Right. Wait one second, I’ll be right back,” Twilight chirped sheepishly, before teleporting back to the castle in a flash to raid her piggy bank.
It was going to be a long night, and coffee was absolutely necessary.
Twelve cappuccinos later, Twilight’s mind was buzzing. And her hooves were trembling. That probably wasn’t a sign of incoming brilliance, but Twilight couldn’t disprove it, so she decided not to worry too much about it. She just hoped that she wouldn’t get another lecture from Spike about her apparent caffeine addiction. This was important, she needed caffeine so she could stay up late and come up with the best possible counter-prank for Rainbow Dash.
Okay.
According to the book Pranks Throughout the Ages, in a prank war, the bigger the prank, the better it will come across as. Rainbow had gotten the snow from Cloudsdale, so Twilight had to better than that to properly and efficiently one-up her brilliant move.
So, where does snow come from? Snow comes from clouds, when tiny droplets of water crystalize into delicate flakes that fall to the earth. A snowball is simply a packed ball of snowflakes clumped together. Theoretically, if Twilight could freeze some cloud and pack it into a snowball, it should work perfectly! There would be no need to rush off to the weather factory!
But would a bigger snowball be enough? Twilight perused through her Snowball Fights for Dummies guide to figure it out. She had heard of ponies putting rocks or ice into snowballs to make them hurt more. Was this the sort of hurt that Rainbow would like? Twilight had no idea, but it was worth a shot. Maybe it would add just enough of one-upping to satisfy Rainbow’s clear craving for a counter-prank!
Twilight giggled and set to work to create the perfect cloud-to-snow spell. The rock would help, it could act as the center of the snowball! It was foolproof, really. She sipped a latte and went to work. There was so much to do, and so little time. She had a perfect prank to plan!
Everything was prepared. Twilight had selected a pebble and tested her spell, and it worked perfectly! The best part was, it only froze cloud, so if she missed while throwing it into the wispy cloud above Rainbow Dash, it wouldn’t hurt anypony! Her horn glowed lavender as she cast the spell on the pebble and flung it high in the air with her magic, towards the solitary cloud floating over Rainbow Dash. This would be the best prank EVER!
Twilight nudged Rainbow Dash. “Oh, Rainbowwww… I’ve got a surprise for you!” She could hardly contain her giggles. This was going to be so much fun!
Rainbow smiled at Twilight uneasily. “Hey, Twilight, are you okay? You’re… you’re not looking too well.”
Twilight laughed and waved her hooves, looking at the cloud above them. Any time now, the spell would activate and form into a snowball. “Oh, I’m fine. Just had a bit of coffee this morning. Doing great!”
The pegasus looked at the alicorn quizzically. “Oookay, Twi, it’s just… when was the last time you slept? You’ve got shadows under your eyes, and your mane is all frizzy, and you’re kind of giving me this creepy smile, you know?”
Twilight took a deep breath. “I’m fine. I’m fine! See?” She smiled as normally as she could, stealing a glance at the sky. The cloud wasn’t doing anything! Did the pebble miss?
Rainbow Dash looked up, trying to see what Twilight kept looking at. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in what Twilight assumed could only be astounded shock at her brilliant prank. “Isn’t this perfect? The best part is that I put a rock in it! Genius, I know! I’m only an amateur pranker, though, but I can’t wait for you to teach me how to be even better! Oooh, we could have pranking sleepovers, and maybe even host a pranking class! It would be so much fun!”
Twilight clapped her hooves in excitement, frowning down at them when they started shaking. Was this the coffee? She hadn’t been shaking for the last few hours, so it was peculiar that it would be starting up again.
She looked around. Three things became painfully apparent to Twilight in a single moment.
The first thing Twilight realized was that Rainbow Dash was not clapping along. She wasn’t laughing good-naturedly, or patting Twilight on the back. She was running away, flying as fast as her wings could carry her.
The second thing that Twilight became aware of, as she looked up to see what Rainbow Dash was running away from, was that her pebble had missed. Twilight really needed to work on her magical aim, and perhaps calculate for wind if she dared to repeat this prank.
The third thing that Twilight noticed was that her magically-charged pebble had hit the edge of Cloudsdale. The beautiful city that lingered near Ponyville was rapidly turning into the largest snowball Twilight had ever seen. Pegasi flapped desperately away as their homes and jobs transformed into snow and packed together into a massive snowball, filled with everything, including kitchen sinks. Twilight suspected that, once it fell, the rock would not be Rainbow Dash’s biggest concern.
She did what the natural response was, in scenarios like this one. Twilight screamed like a little filly and ran after Rainbow Dash. She flew as fast and as far as her wings could carry her, not daring to look back for a second as she soared. Only when she was out of breath did she turn around and look down.
The snowball had fallen and begun rolling across Ponyville, picking up houses and growing larger and larger. Twilight winced as it ran over Rarity’s boutique, Fluttershy’s cottege, and Sugarcube Corner. She was definitely going to hear about this later, assuming she could find her friends in the magically-packed snow.
Oh, this was a total disaster! It wasn’t supposed to end this way, it was just a harmless prank, right? Twilight didn’t mean to cause the destruction of Ponyville and Cloudsdale! She just wanted to get back at Rainbow Dash, and-
And Twilight jolted awake on the floor of the castle library, surrounded by papers and schematics and empty coffee cups. She groaned and picked herself off the floor, brushing off any paper that stuck to her body. A knock on the door made Twilight look up blearily. Normally, she would be in a rush to tidy everything up, but she was too tired to care now. She shuffled to the door to find a concerned looking Rainbow Dash.
“Hey, Twilight. I was a bit worried, you hadn’t left your room for three days. Honestly, did my prank bother you that much? You could have told me, you know?” Rainbow asked, concern evident in her voice.
Twilight stared at the pegasus levelly before turning to flop on her bed. “I’m fine. I just… need to rest, and, um, I need to cut back on coffee. Remind me to do that, take a note, whatever.”
Rainbow opened her mouth to ask one of the million questions racing through her mind, but Twilight was already asleep.
