(Old) Humans Are Awesome
Act 1 Ch 1- ... and I feel like Destiny is coming
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Another wonderful day in Ponyville. The sun is shining, birds are...
Yeah, I hate this introduction. Instead, here's me in bed, (innocently) cuddling my marefriend. There you go, the intro is done. Boom, my name's Lyra Heartstrings and good morning Equestria.
Beside me is the most beautiful mare I have ever seen. I will always marvel her long, swirly cobalt blue mane & tail with light fuschia stripes that make me think of her sweet hoovemade candies. Her smooth light grey fur coat that feels like the clouds that pegasi sleep on. And the piece of resistance was her eyes, those sweet and mesmerizing arctic blue eyes that binds me to her control.
Like every typical morning, Bon Bon, my marefriend, woke up before I do. In exchange for that routine, I ask her the same important question that I tell her to start the day for both of us.
“BonBon, what do you think humans eat?” I asked my marefriend as I got up from my pillow. We were in bed, having conversations about humans while being next to each other.
“Mmmm… I don’t know, Lyra.” BonBon groaned at me. “You’ve been asking me that question million times by now and you won’t give me the answer. Just tell me already.”
“Nope” I smugly replied. I love messing with BonBon and I know she knows the answer. She’s just messing with me. “The answer is really easy”
“Lyra, I’ve guessed every fruit, vegetable, and sweets that I could list on the top of my head but you keep saying maybe,” Bon Bon begged for the answer. She showed me her cute puppy dog eyes that I can’t resist “Please tell. Pleeeease”
“I’ll never tell,” I said sternly. Her eyes were irresistible but I had to prevail.
“Really?” she moaned in false dissatisfaction and pouty lips. She always does this and I would always give her a hint but never an answer. I know that she knows the answers but if I ever let my guard down, she will start to barraging me with her own questions.
That and she already answered the question the first time. I'm just messing with her at this point.
By the way, it was "Blueberries", my favorite fruit and pancake combination.
Oh... she's getting up now. "Hey Lyra, don't you have work today." Oh great, she's reminding me that I actually work for a living.
I sighed at this reminder as I hate working as an instrument "shop owner", I mean it's been a month that a pony has even visited the shop to really buy something and that was just Octavia purchasing a new cello after her "argument" with her roommate, Vinyl Scratch.
I don't know what Vinyl did to make Octavia mad that had to resolve with her smashing the innocent cello over the DJ's head but I digress that story for later.
Anyway, I have to give an actual response to Bon Bon, it's been a few minutes since she asked that question and I'm just awkwardly quiet as usual. "Do I have to?" I whined at her. Great job, genius, telling myself sarcastically.
"Well, we have to find some way to pay the bills AND your research. A job is the most reasonable answer to all of them." She lectured me as usual.
That's not true, Bon Bon pays the bills while I fund my own research with the little bits I can earn.
Right now, I'm making my own portal gate or any form of transportation to the human world with my knowledge of magic and... (shudder my entire body) math. Twilight was kind enough to lend me books on advance magic theories, written by the great Star Swirl the Bearded, the only unicorn who has ever made a working portal to another alternative world. My current project is replicating the mirror portal that is similar to Twilight's (in theory, I never actually seen how the mirror works).
Oh yeah, I have to get more lightning in a bottle potions. I need more natural magic electricity if I'm going to ever make my own portal to the human world (and decrease the electricity bill). I recently bought a new journal (with my own cutie mark on the front cover and fur color) just to keep notes on my findings. I keep forgetting my old ideas and findings that Bon Bon suggested the journal to keep them in writing if don't want to lose them.
I mean I asked Twilight if I could use hers but Bon Bon told me to not to go. And by "told me", I mean yelled at me for two straight hours on why I should not go in anypony's portals without her permission. I don't need her permission, I'm a grown mare who can make her own decisions if I'm brave enough to really do it.
Wait... why I'm talking myself? I have to get to work or Bass Drum's gonna have my flank on a platter if I'm late again. That sounds perverted. Curse you perverted brain for thinking that disgusting thought.
Welp, can't stay here in bed all day. I've tried that once and it was the biggest mistake I made yesterday. I got out of bed, put my new journal in my saddlebags and took a long, warm shower while Bon Bon prepared breakfast.
I dried myself and head to the dining area, where Bon Bon's homecooked blueberry pancakes were waiting for me, I poured a butt load of maple syrup. Mouth foaming with drool as I see that my marefriend topped up her culinary skills on the pancakes by writing my first name with tiny blueberries. I love her so much for being with me for this long.
It has been three years today that we first met, two years and five months that I confessed my feelings (awkwardly) to her, and...
Wait...
OMC (Oh my Celestia), It's our two year anniversary of the day we bought a house together and became roommates. Okay calm down, Lyra, don't worry I got her the perfect present this year. It's not gonna happen like last year; I didn't forget the day and there aren't any cow stampedes this morning, so I'm in the clear so far.
"LYRA!" Bon Bon furiously yelled my name from the bathroom. "YOU USED ALL THE HOT WATER AGAIN!"
"OH, CRAPBASKETS!" I shouted back. Why did I swear?
"DID YOU JUST SWEAR!?"
Now I really have to get out of here; I scarfed down my breakfast as fast as my mouth can comprehend, grabbed my saddlebags and proceeded to whooped my way to work now.
"Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop."
****
After whooping for a few minutes, I got to my workplace with a stomach ache and leaving a very angry marefriend at home. My workplace is a one-story blue building with a front display window for the customers to see instruments and me behind the counter, bored out of my mind.
I stand in front of the entrance and looked at the crudely designed sign.
"Bass Drum's Extraordinary Instruments Shop."
Yeah, more like "Ordinary" instruments shop, I thought to myself like I always do whenever I come to this place. I took a deep breath as this is going to be a really, REALLY long day of sitting my flank behind the counter, cleaning dusty instruments and being yelled at by my "boss" for "not being productive enough".
I swear to Luna, I co-signed this place with him two years ago and yet he puts his own name in the store and he treats me like I'm the lousy employee. We were supposed to work together like we promised yet I do all the manual labor while he goes off playing golf with his jerk friends or what he calls "business associates". I basically own the entire store and the stuff that came with it.
I raised my head to show that I'm not beaten down that the day will throw at me and opened the door; the first thing I see is Bass Drum. He had the same old stallion stare of disappointment that he always give me whenever we cross paths. He wore his usual plaid golf clothes under his blue fur coat and with his tail poking out, his golf bag at his left side, his golf hat poorly covered his black mane and his rugged beard spreading all over his face.
I swear he should just give me the store entirely so that he can retire and go golfing all he wants. I have so many ideas at making this place attract customers, but Bass Drum wouldn't hear any of my plans as he says "You are a mare with no business experience and you would be begging in the streets for bits if it weren't for me."
If it weren't for him, I could still have some of the bits that I "invested" in the store.
"Where have you been?" The old Earth pony said in his gruff and fake posh voice like he's fooling anypony. His left forehooves tapping repeatedly and rapidly on the hardwood floor, his scowl was fixed on my general direction, and his heavy breathing could be heard throughout the entire room. Just another day at work.
"I got here on time. I'm not sure what you mean?" I defended myself like the passive mare that I am. I pointed at the clock on top of the counter, it was nine o'clock exactly the schedule says.
"T-that clock's slow and you w-were supposed to clean the instruments at seven and..." He complained, he was always making excuses that he could come up with on my work performance all the time. He trotted towards one of the pianos and wiped a small speck of dust from it. "... and there are some spots that you missed on the last day."
I gritted my teeth, sighed and did my best professional employee impersonation. "I cleaned every instrument in the store the last time I was here. In fact, I wiped and polished them and the floors twice like you instructed me to do. Twice." I tried to hint him that I was managing everything in the store.
He didn't catch it. "I don't care for your excuses." YEAH, my excuses. "I expected you to follow my orders if we are ever gonna make any bits and keep this store running."
Again with his lectures. I rolled my eyes so much on that speech that I might cause them to fall off or get them stuck in the other direction, just like what happened to Muffins. Or what the rumors ponies tell me about her. She had the worse reputation in Ponyville, apart from me.
He continued his lecture while I just gave him a blank stare. "...I expect you to be on your best behavior if a customer shows up. I'm not gonna have to remind you what happened last time, do I?"
Okay, I lied to myself about Octavia being the last customer to come in this store, but I wouldn't call "an old pretentious mare insulting our instruments for being in poor quality and calling me a fillyfooler with a dead-end job and crazy human conspiracies" as a customer.
She had that punch to the muzzle coming. That Spoiled Rich. Thank Celestia, her husband was a forgiving colt and kind enough to pay for the store damages she caused from her freak out after I punched her.
"Lyra! Lyra! Lyra!" Oh, shoot, Bass Drum's calling for me.
He took his golf bag and went to the door. "Lyra, stop daydreaming and actually do your work. I'm going outside to... advertise our store. Goodbye." He exited and slammed the door before I could say any opinions.
With a sigh and more to come, I head back to my counter that I always sit in and do nothing but I watch the window for any customers passing by, play the cash register and contemplate my life and the day I might get to the human world.
I always have questions in my mind that have been bothering me but never got the straight answer on all of them.
First, should I have stayed with Father? I would say yes right away, considering he's the only family I have and might use his wealth on my human research & pay the bills. But he is a horrible stallion who treats me like his puppet and he tossed me & some of his bits out to the streets after I graduated school.
Should I just ask Twilight if I can use her portal to the human world? She might reject my request at first but I hope I can get her to say yes someday, even if it's just a visit. I want to know what it's like to be in another world... and maybe see my friend again.
What happened to Bass Drum that made him such a lazy jerk and a bitmonger? He wasn't always like this when we first met. He helped me get the store together with the leftover bits I got from Father.
There's another question but I'd rather not mention as it relates to Bon Bon. It scares me that I even made that question in the first place.
I looked around the room to see there's anypony in sight and took a deep breath as this is going to hurt my heart. "Should I leave Bon Bon?" I whispered quietly in the store alone, with my eyes closed.
"I don't know." Bass Drum said as he standing behind me. Darn it, I forgot we have a backdoor. "But I do know what you should be doing and that is clean the store like YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO!" AHHH! He yelled near my left ear. Everythings ringing and feeling to vomit rising.
I swallowed back my breakfast because I don't want to clean the floor. "I just did." I lied to him as he never really cares if I actually did the task.
"No, you didn't. I only left thirty minutes ago and I was looking at the display window." Crude. "... and all I saw was you sitting behind the counter as always." Double crude."I've always suspected you being a lazy mare but being a liar as well. Should I call Applejack to give you a lecture on diligence and honesty, is that okay for you?" He said with sarcasm.
I hate it when ponies mention the Elements of Harmony when they're comparing those girls to me. I don't hate any of them, it's just that...
"LYRA!"
AHHH! HE YELLED MY OTHER EAR!
"I've had it with your antics for the last time." He was overwhelmed with rage now. "I want you out of my store and never come back!"
Wait, what did he say?
"Wait, are you seriously firing me!?" I asked as I was surprised that he actually said that to me.
"Yes, I am. I want you to take your belongings and leave MY property. I'll send you..." I interrupted him as this was B*LLSH*T.
"You can't fire me! I own half this store with my own bits." I protested at the jerk. "I worked my flank off to make this store presentable while you waste your time and bits on golf games, even though we don't have enough as it is."
"NO! You sit on your flank all day doing nothing but stay in your tiny little world that you call your brain while I try to advertise our store with my business associates." He spat back with the worse excuse that I have ever heard. He was trying to guilt trip me into quitting the store with a pathetic lie!
Yup, this is the day I snapped.
Well, he can have his wish. "You know what, Ass Drum! You can have your good for nothing store and I get to quit. It's a win-win situation for you, is it not?" I used my magic to grab one of the jerk's golf clubs.
"But before I leave this place forever, I'm gonna give you my resignation letter." I grimly smiled as this is going to be good.
I can see Ass Drum's panicked state as I prepared my first golf swing ever. "Lyra, what are you doing? Don't..." He should be proud, now that I'm doing my job properly by removing some inventory.
"Hole in one!" I yelled as a punctured a hole at the dusty piano that Ass Drum told me to clean. "I think that's an Eagle." I don't know a single bit about golf, which helps insult the new shop owner.
"Lyra, please stop..." Oh look at that, he's actually begging to me. Looks like the metal shoe is on the other hoof now. I continued to swing to swing the now dented golf club at every instrument that I could find while Ass Drum attempted to save some of it, only for me to levitate it away from him and smash them with rest of the scrap pile.
And now for the symphony.
"UN!" I yelled as I swung the golf club at the guitar wall display.
"DEUX!" I obliterated the wind instruments section and the display window.
"AND THE FINALE." I trotted to the drums and with a mighty jump, I pummeled the big drum part and cymbals crashed to the ground as I shouted.
"TROIS!"
After my orchestra of mayhem finished, I looked back at Bass Drum. He was hyperventilating with his right hoof on his chest and sweating a lot. Like I care at this point.
I just used my magic to snatch the cash register, stuffed my belongings into my saddlebags (which included Bon Bon's present that I hid in the store) and took my leave by wrecking the door with the cash register.
Everypony outside was watching my meltdown and were giving me scared faces, some even avoid eye contact when I stared at them while walking. My mane's a mess, my ears are still in pain, my eyes are bloodshot and my blood pressures on the roof, but I don't as I was done with the store and instruments.
****
"Give me all the lightning potions you've got," I harshly demanded the shop colt as I dropped the battered cash register on the counter.
"Ummm... Bad day?" He nervously spoke to me like it's any of his damn business.
I gave him a cold glare and snarled at him. "What do you think?" he cowered down to the floor. Good, I don't need more problems as it is. "Come on, I don't have all day. Give me the stuff." I'm scratching my mane like crazy from the waiting.
The shop colt didn't get up from his hiding spot but he did give me the bottles. I took a deep breath (been taking a lot of these today) and forced opened my cash register to grab the bits.
"N-no thanks. You can have it, free of charge. Please just leave my store." The shop colt begged me to leave. Just like Bass Drum. I put all MY bits & bottles in my saddle bag and took my leave.
Rumors must have spread real quick as everypony run away when they saw my presence. Great, I'm the monster of the week. I just want to get home and make that portal as soon as possible or the Royal Guards will be marching here and send me to Tarturus.
As I got home, there was nopony there (Thank Celestia). I immediately went to my workshop and got all of the material for the portal out of my saddlebags. At this point, I don't care if it works or not. I only have one chance left before everything else in my life falls apart.
"I can't believe you would waste your life away on some ridiculous dream." I turned around and saw Bon Bon standing at the only doorway in my workshop. Oh no she's crying and shaken up. She must have heard of my outburst at Bass Drum's shop.
"I can't believe you just did that." I tensed up when she spoke in an unfamiliar tone. it was cold, empty... and full of pity on me.
"Who are you?" She yelled as her tears were increasing & blinding her sight and her movements became erratic. I've never seen any pony act like this before. "I don't know who you were before you met that human but I know you are not like this."
She took a mirror at one of my desks with her mouth and tossed it towards my legs. I flinched back as the mirror shattered into pieces, some of the shards hit my forelegs and chest. "Look at what your obsession has done to you. You've become a scatterbrain, lazy, uncooperative towards others, and when ponies pushed you too far, you used violence first to get rid of your problems. Do you see it now?"
All I saw from those shards was a little filly who wanted to see her best friend again but was distracted by ignorant ponies who were talking terrible things about her in secret.
"I should have destroyed your work sooner..." She blurted out...
What did she just say?
"Wait a minute... what did you just say?" I hissed my question as my heart started to throb vigorously with anger and my eyes widen to the point that they would fall off.
"Ummm..." Bon Bon won't give me a straight answer.
"Y-you've been sabotaging my experiments!" I was appalled at what Bon Bon said." I got closer to her, only for her to back away from the doorway. We got to the living room before I stopped approaching to Bon Bon.
Instead, I walked slowly towards the door to make my exit, but before that, I needed some answers.
"Your experiments won't work like instant. It's just impossible to make a portal, according to Princess Twilight, it took Star Swirl the Bearded decades to make one and it was used to banish ancient evil beings..."
My anger was increasing by the second. "What!? Since when did you talk to Twilight for that kind of information?"
"I... I... I" She's beginning to stutter again but I need to know.
"TELL ME!" My rage-filled voice was raised to the roof that the next door neighbors might hear me. Let them, I want them to listen to me call out a traitor that I used to call "my friend".
Now she's the one looking on the floor. "I asked her right after you heard Twilight say she's been to the human world and that she has a portal to them. I can't let you go to that place. You don't what kind of dangerous creatures that are inhabiting on the other side. That's the..." I don't to hear more of this.
Again with the excuses. Does everypony have this sick desire to lie in front of me? First was Father, then Bass Drum and now Bon Bon. My mare- no, not my marefriend, I don't know who this mare is at all for over the years she's been hiding things from me and she was actually embarrassed to be near ME.
"Please Lyra..." And she's begging to me as well. I'm on a roll today.
"You know what I'm out of here!" In my anger state, I grabbed one of the lightning potions I just bought in my saddlebags and tossed the bottle inside the house. I trotted as fast as my legs could take while the lightning inside the bottle explodes inside the house and I could hear Bon Bon screaming for help.
After running for a few minutes while avoiding other ponies seeing me, I hid at one of the store's alleyways to catch my breath and contemplate at what I just did during the past three hours.
I am a mess.
No wonder I didn't say this morning was wonderful. Today is anything but wonderful.
Happy Anniversary, Bon Bon.
Author's Note
Lyra is in big trouble, it's only the first chapter AND it's still morning time over there (like 11:00 a.m). It really escalated quickly.
Start the story with a bang. I guess?
I would've put a Dark tag on this story but Drama's more suitable.
Hey guys, I have decided to make a schedule on the releases if this going to be a thing. (I only published the prologue early on impulse)
By the way, I started the story on Lyra's mental breakdown to jump-start her motivation at going to the human world (and make you curious at what my version of Lyra's past is and why she behaves like this). There will be flashbacks of her past in some chapters but not on this beginning story arc.
Thanks for reading my story.
Nightwatch the Rogue Out.
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