Chapters View Online
Strange, unusual and too wonderful to be true
"Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?" - Adam "Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual". I myself am strange and unusual." - Lydia "You look like a regular girl to me." - Barbara
Beetlejuice, 1988 movie directed by Tim Burton.
Mag stubbed out the butt of her cigarette in the ashtray she'd brought with her into the woods, and didn't light another. The air was wet and the trees dripped and rustled in the breeze. The rain had stopped for now but would start again in a couple of hours, and this was the time to take a break, or so Mag had decided about twenty minutes ago. Her boss wouldn't be coming back to the Quik Eats until Monday, so she was tempted to close for the weekend. There wasn't much traffic on route 371 this far up the mountain, especially at this time of year, so she could plausibly tell her boss no one had come while he was gone. As for the needs of customers, well, if someone needed wiper blades or an ancient hot dog then they could just break in, couldn't they?
A small part of herself that Mag usually ignored told her that she shouldn't do this, that it might be the last job she could get, but she ignored it. She pulled a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of her long winter jacket and studied the contents. Half the pack remained, but she didn't like menthol. She pocketed it again after a moment’s consideration, not bothering to take another cigarette, and continued down the dirt trail to the lake. She thought about the cold front rolling in next week. She thought about going home and falling asleep in her bed, or perhaps on the floor if she couldn't be bothered to walk to her bedroom. She thought about television static and the sound of tires in snow, and wondered if she'd be less bored in the evenings if she got a cat, then decided not to get a cat because she wouldn’t be able to smoke in the house anymore, and because she wasn't sure she wanted another living being in her house, making noise and wanting things. Mag didn't want things, generally speaking, or nothing she was willing to put into words, and it made her house a peaceful, silent place. She also didn't want to clean out a catbox. There was also the fear that getting a cat would lead to get more cats and she didn't want to become a crazy cat lady, she was already crazy enough thank you.
The lake was around the next bend in the trail. Some days she stood at the edge of the lake and watched the birds and bugs if they were out, and that was her plan this afternoon. Today a soupy white fog covered the lake. Mag couldn't even see the other shore. The sky was partly cloudy at most and the lake had never been foggy in the day. The water was too still. Mag squatted next to the shore and decided to light another cigarette after all. Now a tiny light glowed in the fog. Mag lit a cigarette and grimaced; she hated menthol. The light got bigger, or perhaps closer. Mag watched it. There weren't fireflies in this part of California, and this wasn't the season for them anyway. Perhaps it was someone with a lantern. But why a lantern in the daytime? Mag tried to put her plain red Bic back in her pocket and accidentally dropped it in the mud. The light grew and changed. It was a warmer, rosier shade of white than the fog, and brighter than a lantern, so bright that Mag had to shade her eyes with her hand. It resolved into the most beautiful thing Mag had ever seen. In fact it was too beautiful, so wonderful and irreal that for a brief moment her brain decided that there wasn't a beautiful goddess in front of her. Then it remembered that Mag was crazy and if anything Mag could see more than before of the impossible being in front of her.
The goddess walked across the water on four thin legs and burned with a corona of smokeless pastel flames. It had light for skin and suns for eyes. The water rippled with each step. Mag fell backward and hid her eyes in the crook of her elbow. She couldn't breathe.
“I don't believe in... I don't believe in... fuck I do believe!” She couldn't finish the sentence and as usual her mind to mouth filter wasn't working and said what she was really thinking.
Mag uncovered her eyes, why was such being so... she lacked words to describe it, She thought thar you could put a thousand William Shakespeares and give them all the paper and ink they would ever need, and even if they lived a thousand years writing only about the impossible being, they would still fall short.
The burning archangel, the goddess, the apocalypse of Mag's worldview stepped onshore and walked up to her. As it walked the light faded. The fire shrank and became a horse's mane. Light turned into pearl fur and the suns burned down to pupils.
Her head fell to the ground and Mag tried to catch it, but got poked by the horn. The angel-goddess's head splatted into the mud. Mag crawled away, stood, stepped back, tripped over a rock, and dropped back to the ground. She stayed there and stared.
She'd asked her to help “them.” Who? Mag peered into the mist, looking for someone else, and realized the fog was growing thinner. The opposite shore was visible now and looked the way it always did. They were alone.Mag stood up again and took a few deep breaths.
“Help them,” muttered Mag. “Okay. Okay.” She leaned over the whatever-she-was.
“How?” Whatever-she-was didn't answer. She looked too heavy to lift.
“Wake up,” Mag tried. Horse-Thing didn't move.
“Wake up, your majesty?” Nothing. Mag stepped back for a better look. Her majesty was definitely horselike. Her mane had stopped moving but still looked slightly insubstantial, like a rainbow in a sprinkler, but with the thickness of skim milk. Her horn was the approximate length of Mag's forearm and hand. There was a stylized sun painted on her flank. These were all just details, however; what mattered was that she was the most unbearably beautiful thing Mag had ever seen. Mag wondered who she would have grown up to be if she'd seen this creature when she was younger.
Of course for that to happen it would mean changing the past, and you shouldn't change the past. Because that might lead to a butterfly in Mexico flapping it's wings at the wrong time, instead of the right time, and that would somehow end with a man wearing a chicken suit running in front of her house. And noosy people would ask Mag if they were dating.
Mag slapped herself, no she was not making sence and yes she was awake.
She reached out and brushed the queen's ear with the tip of her fingers. The ear flicked and Mag pulled her hand back. Then she poked the ear again. The ear flicked again. Mag stuck her finger in the ear proper and the queen's eyes opened. Her majesty silently regarded Mag with one eye. Mag pulled her finger out of her ear.
“Sorry,” Mag murmured.
“Human?” Her voice was normal, now. She sounded like a cross between Galadriel and someone's mother.
“I go by 'Mag,' actually,” said the human.
Her majesty stood up—the mud didn't stick to her fur—and looked around. “Earth, then.” She faced Mag. “Mag, my name is Princess Celestia.”
“A pleasure,” said Mag, sticking her hands in her pockets. They stood a few feet apart.
“There's no need to be intimidated,” said the creature, goddess, impossibility, too good for this... Mag decided to think of her as horse goddess or majesty to save time.
“I'm not intimidated.” Yes she was but that would make the goddess felt bad and Mag didn't want to add cruelty to animal gods to her list of crimes.
“All right,” said her majesty gently. “Mag, I have a request.”
“It's not 'Take me to your leader,' is it?” said Mag.
Celestia's eyebrows went up. “It is. Have you dealt with this sort of thing before?” She looked behind her. “Is this lake a crossroads?”
“No as far as I know, and no idea in the last one. But all kind of creatures from other worlds say a variation of ‘Take me to your leader’ in fiction during first contact situations.”
Then she thought about it. “You know what? Maybe the lake is some kind of crossroads. I only know that I don't know anything anymore.”
Celestia gave her a pitying look. “Human, please relax. I can see this situation is making you uncomfortable, and for that I'm sorry, but I really do need your help.”
“Please keep calling me Mag, it makes the situation more comfortable. “ Mag started to step back, and stopped herself. “Anyway. What do you mean by 'leader?' Are you looking for more of a mayor, or the governor, a queen or king, a Emperor or the president of the United States, or what?”
“I'm afraid I don't know his or her proper title Mag,” said Celestia, “but I would prefer to meet with the leader of the humans if you can arrange it. Or perhaps you could simply point in the proper direction, if you'd prefer.” She blinked and her legs wobbled.
“Or where I can find lodging. I've been walking through the fog between worlds for... quite some time, now.”
Mag shrugged. “Humans don't have a leader that rules the whole planet. We have the UN, I guess, the United Nations. As for lodging...” Mag tried to imagine the princess getting a hotel room and failed utterly.
“Well, I guess there's, uh, my house?” Come to think of it, she couldn't imagine that either. Well actually she could; but it involved her being five and a tea party. Since she had not been five for twenty-two years, at least she could offer some tea.
“Oh, I wouldn't want to impose.”
“Well, aren't we Ms. Manners,” said Mag.
Celestia wrinkled her immaculate white brow. “I'm afraid I don't follow.”
“Nothing, sorry. I just get sassy when I'm intimidated and uncomfortable. And I do have the horrible tendency to say things I am thinking before my mind notices I shouldn't say them.”
“Ah,” said Celestia. “Being honest is not bad but one has to be careful in the way you say things. And even them is just impossible to never offend anyone.”
Mag scuffed at the ground with her hiking boot. “Okay, listen. You are really, really, really, really weird. No offense meant.”
“None taken.”
“And kind of overwhelming. No offense.”
“I apologize.”
“You're forgiven.” Mag took a few deep breaths. “Right. Yeah, you're freaking me out, but I think I do want to help. I wasn't doing anything important anyway.”
Celestia bowed her head. “You have no idea how relieved I am.”
Mag led the princess back up the path.
“My world ended,” said Celestia.
And what could you possibly say to that?
“How?”
Stupid brain!
“I don't know. I was set to guard it and guide it, but all things end, I suppose. But why did I outlive it? Worlds have ended before, but its regent always goes with it. It's the way of things.” She looked up at the light of the setting sun cutting through the leaves of trees, then down at the dappled shadows.
“Maybe it's not the end yet. Maybe this is something I can heal.”
“I don't know how I can help with that,” said Mag.
Celestia smiled. “You already are.”
It took a moment for Mag to recover from that smile. Every little thing Celestia did, every glance and every step, did that much more to crowd Mag out of her own head. “I don't even know what you're looking for,” she managed.
“Perhaps you'd feel better if I walked further away,” said Celestia.
“I'll get over it,” said Mag. “But seriously. What am I really going to do for someone like you?”
“You mentioned a couch I could use, to begin with. After that, I would like to know more about your UN.”
“We didn't talk about it in high school and I sort of dropped out of college,” said Mag, “but I can tell you it's a kind of, I don't know, council that sets up and sometimes enforces agreements between nations. If it's got a leader, he's probably elected.”
“Then that's not who I need to speak with first,” said Celestia. “It sounds like your Regent prefers a light touch, or tends toward subtlety. We have until sundown tomorrow to contact them. If it takes longer, diplomacy is going to be a bit rocky.”
“Rocky?”
“A bit. How warlike would you say humans are?”
“We're a murdering pack of absolute bastards, that's how we climbed to the top of the food chain.” said Mag.
“Colorfully put. In that case, I'd rather we moved quickly. Your regent is likely to be very human indeed. Are you afraid of heights?”
“About as much as most,” said Mag. “Wait. Are you serious?”
“I'm afraid so. Which direction is your couch?”
“The same direction as my home. Go north over the straight road through town. Pass the huge wooden bear through the woods and look for the white house with the fewest pine trees, no lawn and no car in the driveway. That's my place.”
“What is a car?” asked the goddess.
“You're going to see a lot of examples on the road. That should help.”
“Understood.” Celestia flared out her wings. “Climb aboard and hold onto my neck.”
Mag really wasn't up for this, but helping the princess was obviously more important than her feelings. She climbed aboard and focused on taking deep, slow, even breaths.
“Be brave,” said Celestia. She flapped her wings experimentally a few times, then launched straight up through the trees. Pine needles and cold winter air rushed past them and then Celestia burst out above the trees. She hovered in place for a moment, looking around for the road, then glided toward it.
“The air is very thin here,” said Celestia.
“What?” shouted Mag over the rushing wind. God, it was cold up here.
“There's the road. Goodness, is that what a car is? How interesting. And there's your town.”
Mag didn't enjoy the next few minutes in the slightest, but at least it went quickly. Celestia touched down in front of Mag's place, panting, and Mag rolled off Celestia's back and onto the ground.
“Cramp,” said Mag through gritted teeth. “Cramps. My world is cramps.”
“That,” said Celestia between gasps, “was a decision with quite a lot of downsides. For Heaven's sake, please give me somewhere soft to collapse.”
Mag tossed her house keys to Celestia without getting up from where she lay on the ground. Celestia caught them by making them float in the air. Mag stared. “What was that?”
“Magic,” said Celestia.
“Okay, but how can you do that?”
“I'd be much happier to discuss magic in the future, as opposed to right now, when I'd be happiest to hear which of these keys opens your door.”
“Just open my door with magic, I don't have an alarm or guardian dogs.”
Celestia dropped the keys and somehow opened the door, Mag picked the keys from the ground. She then gestured for Celestia to follow her inside. And then locked the door with the right key because the goddess looked really tired.
Mag preferred a clean house, and it was easiest to clean a house without much décor. She had no pictures or posters or flowers on her table. The walls were white and the carpet was beige. It was simplest this way.
“Thank you for inviting me,” said Celestia. She surveyed the front hallway. “You have a lovely home.”
“Thank you, this way,” said Mag.
Celestia stopped when she saw Mag's living room, which was entirely bare except for the couch in the center of the room, which faced a large CRT television sitting on the floor against the opposite wall. Celestia, true to her word, walked up to the couch and collapsed into it. Mag realized at this point that she couldn't watch TV while Celestia slept and had nothing else to do for the night because her crappy Internet was down again , so she sat down next to her TV and tried to knead the pain out of her arms and legs.
Oops. She'd forgotten to return to the store and keep working. At least she had set the alarm and closed it.
The Unicorn royalty slept softly on her couch. Mag felt numb. She usually did, around this time of day, but this was different. Tomorrow she was going to do something that mattered. She had promised and she knew she wouldn't flake this time, because she didn't dare and not because her majesty seemed like the “Off with her head” kind of royalty. But because making a unicorn sad was one thing she didn't want on her conscience. This was why she preferred to never get involved with anything important; yesterday there was a broken slushie machine and nothing on TV; today there was a heart-wrenchingly beautiful Mrs. Ed and an ominous deadline.
“I'm sorry for being afraid,” she didn't say, and slowly fell asleep. But before she was fuly asleep she heard a soft “Is okay.” and Mag cursed her stupid lack of filter once more.
Author's Note
A beta reader is wanted
View Online
What do you give to a Goddess who lost everything?
Do you believe in fairies?...If you believe, clap your hands!
Peter Pan, or The Boy Who Would Not Grow Up, 1904 play by Sir James Matthew Barrie.
Princess Celestia stood groggily in more or less the center of Mag's kitchen. Mag was relieved to see that Celestia could get bedhead, though she wondered how that worked, exactly. Because while she'd ridden on Celestia's back and could theoretically have taken the opportunity to run her fingers through her mane for the sake of science, she'd been preoccupied with not dying. But gods tended to be quite human in some ways, at least the Greek and Norse ones in myths, so this didn't made Celestia's any less beautiful. If anything this small imperfections she had been noticing, like the fact she could get tired and needed to sleep, only made her more wonderful in Mag's mind.
“I don't know how you like your tea, so I put a bit of milk in yours. Or maybe you wanted coffee? I don't have any left but maybe you want some... nope out of cocoa; sorry.”
Mag was unusually happy for being early in the morning, because her inner child was screaming "UNICORN" and she knew her stupid lack of mind to mouth filter, unless she really paid attention, meant that Celestia must have some idea of how Mag felt.
Celestia floated the mug of tea out of Mag's grip. “Thank you.”
Mag poured herself a cup of tea, only without milk, and sipped at it.
“The toilet and shower are through the door across from the living room. You know what a shower is, right?”
“I'm familiar with the idea, yes,” Celestia sounded a tad grumpy. She probably wasn't a morning person or horse or unicorn or goddess or... whatever.
“Ooh, you're sarcastic in the morning. Are you hungry?”
Celestia took a hearty gulp of her tea and stood still for a moment with her eyes closed. Then she said, “I beg your pardon. Yes, I'm hungry. How is the local pine? It smells a bit piquant for a morning meal, but perhaps something bracing would help.” Celestia looked out the kitchen window.
“Oh. It snowed.”
That was weird because Mag had watched the weather forecast when she woke up and it said nothing about snow. Then again a goddess suddenly coming from another world probably caused it. Or it was because global warming.
“You eat pine?”
A goddess eating pine sounded funny, but then she was an equine goddess.
Celestia scratched her chin, how could be her hooves be so clean? Magic of course. “Frozen pine really does sound like a bit much, now that you mention it. But I take it you don't eat pine, frozen or otherwise.”
“Never tried it,” said Mag. “I doubt I can digest it. I have some leftover SpagettiOs I was planning to get rid of, but I can make a can of chicken noodle. Or I could roast the pine cones for you. But this house doesn't have a chimey."
“What are SpagettiOs?” asked Celestia.
“Pasta in tomato soup, basically,” said Mag.
“And what is 'chicken noodle?'”
Mag pinched the bridge of her nose. “Right, I should have thought of that. Listen, my species is omnivorous. I'm guessing you aren't. Is that all right?”
“So long as your prey or herd animals are treated with dignity and as much kindness as is reasonable, yes,” said Celestia.
Mag cleared her throat. “Um. Sure. Basically... humans are... murderous bastards, remember?”
Then there was an uncomfortable pause. “I see,” said Celestia. “I'd prefer not to know the details, but if I find myself addressing your United Nations, I may have a few polite observations to make.”
“No chicken noodle for you, then. Got it. But... I don't think you can talk to the UN. I mean, didn't you think strange no one noticed the flying winged unicorn and that my house isn't swarmed by reporters?"
Celestia looked at Mag and blinked "Are you saying I am invisible to humans? But then how can you see me? And wouldn't a flying human get those reporters attention too?"
"To quote a certain movie, 'people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual'. Or maybe it could be because I am crazy? When I saw you a part of myself insisted you just were too... too wonderful to be true then I rationalized that I am crazy anyway and I had not much problem to see you afterwards."
"But why would your Regent... Ah I see, a lot of worlds go by this. We are on Earth's age of science, right? No wonder the air was too thin."
"What are ya talking about Celestia?" Mag then slapped herself for doing that poor imitation.
"A lot of worlds start in an age of Magic, but some don't stay in that era due to only a minor part of the dominant species being able to use magic. So an Age of science starts because the local Regent decides that since most magical creatures use belief, lack of belief is the best defence those who can't use magic can get against them."
"Okay, then what's a Regent?"
"A Regent is the being responsible for taking care of a world, a supreme God if you will. How powerful a Regent is varies but they are always invincible in their own world unless they get too stupid and arrogant. A Regent life is tied to their world existence hence why I think mine can be saved or I would be dead too."
"Right, back to food then." Mag didn't want to be rude but knew that the best you could do with someone suffering,when you couldn't deal with the cause, was to lessen their suffering. And a full stomach tends to lead to happiness unless you do it wrong.
The woman opened her cupboard and found it to be mostly empty.
“Problem is, I don't have anything else. Maybe I should go to the grocery store. How about this: describe a complete meal for a typical horse princess and I'll see what I can do.”
“You mean pony princess, but you're very generous.” Celestia drained what was left in her mug.
“Let me see if I remember the human diet enough to predict the contents of its marketplaces—yes, I think so. Would you like to share a breakfast of bread, olives and wine?”
“How European,” said Mag.
“Where is Europea?”
“Europe? Up and to the right across the ocean, on American maps at least.” Mag closed her cupboard door. “Yeah, sounds decent. I'll be back in about 45 minutes.”
“If I may offer an alternate suggestion,” said Celestia, placing her mug in the sink, “you could wait 10 minutes while I bathe and then I could come with you. I'd like to see how your world has changed since I last visited.”
“Is that a good idea? You're basically invisible and for those you aren't... they are people who are not sane or at least view the world different. And I do not want my house to become a cult of weirdoes... not unless I get a bigger house and I actually get along with those people."
"I got a workaround, just being... how you said it? Less strange and unusual and also less... wonderful?"
Celestia's horn shimmered. She blurred around the edges and turned into a human. Now she was a willowy woman with dark black skin and delicate features, wearing some kind of cream dress that would have looked more in place on the streets of ancient Greece, or at least Disney's Hercules. Her hair was a mess of tight, unruly black curls.
Mag stared at her. “I have questions.”
“I bet I have more questions than you,” said Celestia. “Let's discuss it after I take a shower.” She nodded to Mag and started to walk out.
“Wait,” said Mag then have the human shaped princess a hug and started to pat her back. "It will be okay, you are not alone, it will be okay, I am here for you."
Celestia was confused but let the human woman do whatever she was doing, it was somewhat comforting.
"Sorry that's... all I can do really. I don't know your pain, I never lost my world... but... if you need... the human expression is a shoulder to cry on?"
"Thank you I apreciate the offer."
“And you can't wear that.”
“Why not?”
“One, it's like 20 degrees out and your outfit has short sleeves. Two, people stopped dressing like that 2,000 years ago.”
“I don't get cold and I'm used to standing out, but I have no objections to blending in,” said the not really a Disney Princess. “If you give me an example of modern winter dress I can change the glamour to suit.”
“I'll google around while you take a shower,” said Mag.
“I'm going to do it quickly so I can find out what on earth it means to 'google around.'”
Eleven minutes later, Mag caught the smell of her own shampoo as Celestia peered over her shoulder.
“Is this device called a google?” asked Celestia. She'd changed back to her normal appearance. She was also completely dry in spite of the fact that Mag had forgotten to give her a towel or tell her where they were.
Mag really really wanted to learn magic.
“It's called a computer.” Mag pointed at the tower by her foot.
“That's the part doing all the work.” She gestured at the screen.
“This shows the work, and these two things down here let me control it all.” She pointed at the metal shelf over her bed. “The black box up there is the router. That receives the internet signal and sends it over to the computer tower down here, and the tower sends...” Mag happened to glance at Celestia and trailed off.
“It's complicated,” Mag summed up.
“If I asked for more details, would I understand the answer?” said Celestia.
Mag snorted. “I hope you don't ask, because you've just heard everything I know. And while I could take you to a library, using google is faster."
“Human invention has come far,” said Celestia. “I can feel the signal that travels from the router to the tower, but I can't read the code. The tower decodes this signal, then?”
“Yeah,” said Mag. “Hey, are you saying you've been to Earth before?”
“Yes, a long time ago.”
“How long ago?”
Celestia thought about it. “Well, it was just a day trip, so I don't think I could say for sure, but I recall much discussion in the city forum on the recent Roman conquest over the city of Carthage.”
Mag typed “roman conquenst of Carthage” into the address bar. Celestia watched her fingers with fascination as she did so. Mag pointed at the screen.
Celestia smiled. “Ah, I see. It says 'Google' at the top left. You've just 'googled' something.” Her eyes traveled down the page. “And I see it corrected your spelling without being asked. That's not entirely polite.”
Mag shrugged. “It does it automatically. It's not trying to be rude; it's just a machine, it was build and programed to do that.”
Celestia looked back and forth between the screen, the tower, the keyboard, the router and Mag. “Let me see if I'm following you. Together these objects form an encyclopedia and a dictionary operating by immensely complex, mysterious means, and you have nothing to say in its favor but 'It's just a machine.' Are miracles so commonplace in your life that you've lost interest in them, or are you trying to impress me by pretending to be bored with the wonders of your world?”
"Did your ponies think fire was a miracle for long?"
"Ah, good point. No matter how wonderful, everyday use makes the greatest of wonders dull and common. And while not as advanced, I have been in others words were science was used instead of magic. I apologise. So this computer receives this information through the air in your house, emitted from an equally inscrutable black box sitting calmly on a shelf in your bedroom.”
“That's right,” said Mag.
Celestia sighed. “And apparently it can also display human winter fashions.”
“Well, according to this, you're at least 2,200 years old, so I guess we're even,” said Mag.
“2,200 years,” mused Celestia.
“Yes, I suppose it's been a while.”
“How old are you?” said Mag.
“Old enough that your question has less meaning than you think, but I would call myself young,” said Celestia.
“Compared to what? Continents?”
“Well, worlds,” said Celestia. “I am as old as Equis, and Equis died young.”
Celestia sat down on the floor and stared at her hooves, and neither she nor Mag said anything for a while. Mag performed a Google image search of winter fashion and browsed for a few minutes. After a while, Celestia looked up and watched the screen beside her.
“These all look terrible,” Mag finally said.
“Do you think so? I think they're all very elegant. Look there.” She pointed with a hoof at one model wearing a white long coat and matching knitted cap.
“She looks like a tube,” said Mag.
“But an elegant tube,” said Celestia. “I'm going to try it.” She stepped away from Mag's chair and changed once again into a tall black woman, now wearing the long coat and cap. Celestia twirled, stumbled, and caught herself.
Mag looked her up and down. “Well, fine, that's not bad, but you still need shoes, socks, pants, a shirt and a purse. Let me look them up. Also, don't fall over.”
“Human legs are deceptively complicated,” said Celestia.
"Then just use magic to balance yourself or some spell like that."
"I am. Hence why I said that."
"Okay."
Shoes turned out to be more difficult. Celestia quickly found a boot style she liked, but it had high heels, which she couldn't manage to take two steps in, and the uppers didn't fit properly when she changed the soles into flats. Eventually, Mag managed to find a similar boot online without the heels. Socks were easy. Celestia's shirt mostly wouldn't be visible under the coat, so Mag just pointed out a simple cinnamon top with long sleeves.
The pants were a sticking point.
“I think you're joking,” said Celestia.
“Not in the the slightest,” said Mag.
Celestia crinkled her brow at the computer screen. “No, I'm fairly certain you're joking.”
“Do I strike you as a person who tells jokes, Your Majesty?”
“I would rather you called me 'Celestia,' under the circumstances. And I am a politician—I know a poker face when I see one.”
“But I would never lie to a unicorn,” said Mag. “What's the problem? Is it the color?”
“It's a bit bright, yes,” said Celestia.
“Oh, I'm sure you could change it. Personally, I think they'd look good in a dark shade of plum.”
“I could do that,” said Celestia.
“No, I think we'll keep looking for more pants,” said Celestia.
“Is it the cut?”
“No,” said Celestia.
“Does the fabric look uncomfortable?”
“I wouldn't say so, no,” said Celestia.
Mag spread her hands. “Then what could possibly be the problem?”
“The fact that the pants say 'juicy' across the back in sequined bubble letters,” said Celestia.
“If the sequins look scratchy, you could always replace them with glitter,” said Mag.
“I think I'll just wear the same bottoms you're wearing,” said Celestia.
“Jeans? With that coat?” scoffed Mag.
“Well, yes, unless you have a third idea,” said Celestia.
“Jeans are out of the question,” said Mag. “The back pockets would get in the way of butt words, and I wouldn't dream of sending someone outside without butt words to go with such a lovely coat.”
Celestia folded her arms to mirror Mag's. “Do you have pants that say 'juicy' on the back?”
“Tons,” said Mag. “Piles of them.”
“Show me.”
“Fine, just one and I'm already dressed for the day and I don't want to get up. Here, we'll compromise. How do you feel about leopard print?”
Celestia rolled her eyes. A pair of slim black jeans popped into existence between her boots and coat.
“Boring,” said Mag. “Okay, well, I already found your purse. A purse is a little bag for carrying things in, by the way, and most women have one when they go shopping. And did this whole distraction help at all? Was it funny?"
"You wanted me to wear those pants as a joke?"
"Why not? It would have been hilarious. And as you know, I can only see you because I am crazy."
The human shaped princess smiled "It was a bit funny."
"Do you need another hug?"
"Not right now but thanks for the offer. We were talking about purses, right? We had purses in Equestria,” said Celestia, “but I don't think I can imitate that. It doesn't correspond to any part of my real form.”
“Oh, is that how it works? Well, it's not compulsory. But can't you just create one with magic or transform something I have?"
"I still feel a bit weak, sorry." Celestia glanced at the screen one more time. “Is your purse a plush shark as well?”
“Nah, it's just this,” said Mag, pulling her gray cloth handbag toward her from the other end of the desk. “Let me get some shoes on and we'll go. Of course, the upshot of all this is that you're horribly overdressed for a grocery store run."
"You are staring."
"Sorry, you might look human now but you are still... wonderful, just on acceptable levels."
"Weren't you gonna get some shoes?"
"Sorry, doing that now."
The clouds had all gone away before dawn and now the sky was a solid cobalt blue. It hadn't snowed more than a couple of inches and now it was all turning to dirty slush. It would be a cold walk to the store. Mag walked with her hands in her jacket pockets and her eyes on the ground in front of her, watching for ice. Celestia looked at everything else; the trees, the asphalt of the road they walked alongside, the fog of her breath, the guard rail, a passing bird. She walked with her thin, ungloved hands folded in front of her.
Should she buy some chocolate? It was a snow day after all.
“I found an unopened pack of Marlboros with a lighter sitting on top outside of a liquor store when I was 17, ran off with it, smoked my way through it over the course of the month, bought another when I turned 18, and made a habit out of it.” She absentmindedly fiddled with her jacket pocket. It had been a while since her last cigarette. Did she still hate menthol more than she needed a smoke? Yes, still.
“Very well,” said Celestia. “Your turn.”
"Hm," said Mag. “What are the limits on the shapeshifting?”
“Let's see. I can only hold it for a couple of hours at most, and it's technically not so much a change in shape as it is a form of illusion that fools both sapient creatures and inanimate objects. It doesn't work on animals, and the rare person will suspect me of something without knowing why.”
“You made that face yourself?”
“In a way,” said Celestia, fiddling with her nose. “I picked the dark skin so as to look foreign, which would help me talk my way out of social mishaps. Other than that, the shape is based on my true self. For instance, I am tall with a narrow face, so my disguise is tall with a narrow face. This is made of cartilage, yes?”
This sounded promising. “Yes. But if you can change the color and the clothes then you can change anything about yourself, right?”
“I haven't experimented much and I suspect there are limitations I'm not yet aware of, but possibly,” said Celestia. “I'll try something right now.” She shifted again.
“Whoa, check for witnesses first,” said Mag, looking over her shoulder. "I mean you aren't a winged unicorn princess right now so people can actually see you."
"I honesty don't care.” Celestia's voice had changed. She stopped and looked Mag in the eye, smiling faintly. Now she looked more or less like Mag but taller, and with a narrower face. Her skin was also darker than Mag's, with higher cheekbones and softer eyes.
“Huh,” said Mag, she wished she could look that pretty.
“You don't look as surprised as I'd hoped. Did it not work?” said Celestia.
“Kinda,” said Mag. “You look more like me, but a bit different. Prettier, for one. Oh and less wonderful but is still there, if you really know were to look."
“Oh, Mag, you're already as beautiful as you can be, which is to say very much so,” said Celestia, laying a hand on her shoulder.
Mag rolled her eyes. “Thanks, mom, but you're laying it on a little thick.”
Celestia gave her an unsatisfied look and changed back to her earlier human form.
“Your turn,” said Mag.
Celestia thought. “I have one. There's a substance your people seem to use often. Your computer is encased in it, as is the device that made coffee, and your jacket seems to be woven out of it. What is it?”
“Oh, plastic?”
“Say again?”
“It's called 'plastic,'” said Mag. “It's made out of petroleum, I think. We drill oil out of the ground and do something to it, and then it changes to plastic. It can be any color including clear, it can be soft or hard, water doesn't hurt it, and I think it's really cheap to make things out of. You're going to see it all over the place.”
“Doubtless named for its malleability. Fascinating,” said Celestia. “Your turn.”
“Yeah, I've got one,” said Mag immediately. “Do your subjects all look like you? Because I don't know if I could handle that, to be honest.”
“Not quite like me,” said Celestia. “For instance, most ponies are the height of my withers, or your navel. I could sketch a few of my friends if you liked.”
“Yeah, I'll want to see that,” said Mag.
“My sister, of course, looks a bit more like me. I'll sketch her as well.”
“Your sister?”
“Mm-hm. Princess Luna,” said Celestia.
“What is she like?”
Celestia touched Mag's shoulder again. “You know, Mag, I really appreciate that you're referring to the people of my world in the present tense.”
“You'll see them again,” said Mag because if unicorns existed why not miracles?
“Thank you,” said Celestia quietly.
“But really, what is your sister like?”
The road bent to the left. The downward grade leveled off.
“How to describe my sister,” Celestia said. “We rule together, I the day and she the night. Physically, she is taller than our subjects but shorter than I am. The tip of her horn comes up to the top of my head. Her coat is a dark blue and her cutie mark is of the moon, on one flank it waxes, and on the other it wanes. She walks the dreams of our subjects, offering guidance and comfort where she can, and where she can't help, she stays by their side in some capacity so they don't have to be alone. Luna also raises and lowers the moon.”
“What do you mean, raise and lower the moon?” asked Mag.
“Just that,” said Celestia. “She uses her magic to move the moon along its correct path.”
Mag stopped and faced Celestia. “What.”
Celestia stopped as well. “Is something the matter?”
“You mean that literally. Your sister moves the moon around. How big is the moon? Is it small or something?”
“I couldn't give you the exact dimensions, but during my... tenure as the moon's custodian,” and for a moment a haunted, faraway look flitted across Celestia's face, “I judged our moon to be about 2,000 miles in diameter and eight quintillion tons in weight, where a mile is 5,280 feet and a ton is 2,000 pounds, a foot is this distance,” she held her hands a foot apart, “and a pound is... well, it's a bit less than one twelfth of a gallon of water, and a gallon is 231 cubic inches, an inch being one twelfth of a foot. Is something the matter?”
“So you two can move moons around. Eight bazillion tons, 2,000 miles across, no big deal. Right you are a goddess, why I did forget that?"
“You seem uncomfortable again,” said Celestia.
“Sorry, but that's terrifying. And... now I don't care. I mean you had plenty of time to destroy my planet if you want to.” Mag shook her head and went back to walking. “So you can move the moon?"
“And the sun, which is 866,738 miles across,” said Celestia.
“Oh come on! That too?” said Mag, throwing her hands up and walking faster.
Celestia walked more briskly for a moment to catch up. “I suppose I have my next question, then. How do your sun and moon move? Do you humans have some sort of device? I wouldn't be surprised, considering your people's immense inventiveness and, if I may say so, what seems to be a tendency to hubris.”
“The moon orbits us and we orbit the sun,” said Mag.
“You orbit the sun? How strange. But what are the motive forces?”
“Gravity,” said Mag. She was no astronomer, but she knew the basics.
“I don't quite follow,” said Celestia. She stopped. “One moment,” said Celestia, and closed her eyes. Her eyebrows lifted steadily higher over the next few seconds. “Your planet is repeatedly almost falling into the sun, and your moon is falling to Earth?”
“I guess,” said Mag.
“And no part of this fills you with existential dread,” said Celestia.
“Nah,” said Mag. "All math done so far shows our planet will not end any time soon."
“But surely that plays havoc with your climate.”
“Nope, it just makes the seasons change. Global warming and humans being humans is what messes ups the weather.”
“So the seasons work autonomously as well?”
“Yours don't?”
“No, we do it ourselves. Everyone helps. The pegasi influence the effects of the sun by moving the clouds and guide the migrations of birds, while the unicorns and earth ponies handle everything else closer to the ground, such as clearing snow or tucking in the animals that hibernate.”
“Okay, your world is adorable,” said Mag. “It's also cool that you've got pegasi. But what's an earth pony?”
“Is that your question?”
“No, that's an interjection,” said Mag.
“I find it interesting that you've heard of unicorns and pegasi,” said Celestia. “An earth pony has neither wings nor horn, but is gifted with talents relating to life and growth.”
“Cool,” said Mag.
“Your turn.”
Mag hesitated. She'd have to broach this one tactfully, and tact had never been her strong suit. She just wasn't good at being considerate. The vocabulary of her social skills consisted of blunt honesty, silence, occasional lack of mind to mouth filter and occasionally lying like a rug; telling the truth in a kind way was probably the best way to get through life, she had to admit, but she was neither kind nor honest by nature. There was a reason she lived alone. Oh, well. “What happened to your world?”
Celestia gave a desolate smile. “I should tell you as much as I can for the sake of the mission, I suppose." She gathered herself, then began her story. "It was very abrupt. I was squeezing lemon juice into a mug of tea in the evening after a long day of meetings, every single one of them regarding a nicety of the most recent minotaur-griffin trade agreement and its impact on cacao seed prices—which is more interesting than it sounds, I promise you—”
“Minotaurs and griffins. Of course.”
“Hush, please,” said Celestia. “Yes, minotaurs and griffins. We can discuss them some other time. Now, as I said, it was abrupt. It began with a terrible wrenching sensation. I looked out the window and saw the moon fade away. The torches dimmed and went out. I set down my tea and went out to the balcony, and I saw all the lights of Canterlot flicker and die. The wind slowed and stopped. The usual susurrus of my living city went silent. I heard a crackling sound from inside, and saw that my tea had frozen over.Then the stars went out one by one and I had to use my magic to feel the world around me. I felt the stone of the walls and floors go smooth and lose their texture, and as they did my carpet sank into the floor. The walls dissolved into mounds, like sand. I tried to shine a light to see, but the only thing left was flat, uninflected gray, and the balcony overlooked nothing but black. The only thing left was a mirror. I shined my light brighter, bright enough to see for miles and blind anypony who might look at me, hoping someone, somewhere would see. I heard no one. There was nothing left, only gray floor, a balcony, the black, great piles of sand—and mirrors. Because the mirrors had survived, standing in place where they used to lean or hang from walls, sometimes even in midair above a pile of sand. And that's when I worked out what had happened. Reflections are the edges of worlds, you see. A healthy world sees itself, is self aware in a manner of speaking. When you look at a mirror, at the edge of the world, you should see nothing but the world reflected back on itself. A world is a seamless whole where every edge simply loops back around like a chain with its two ends connected, or perhaps like the inside of a sphere. Do you understand?”
“Honestly? No,” answered Mag.
“It's all rather abstract,” said Celestia. “Suffice to say a mirror should reflect the world, barring a magical effect of some kind, and the mirror of my bedroom did not. It had turned into a frame of solid black, just like the view from my balcony. My world was dying. It could mean nothing else. I took off from the balcony and searched for survivors. I found none, only silence and emptiness. I didn't even find the ground; the dark simply went down and down, forever so far as I know. I looked back and saw that my castle had gone, but I could still see the mirrors, now standing on nothing. Then I noticed that gravity and air had disappeared along with everything else. There was nothing left but mirrors, empty space, and me."
Mag then have her a hug as Celestia cried.
“I have no words to describe how I felt. I couldn't speak, couldn't weep. I perched on the frame of a mirror and sat still like a gargoyle. Mag, did you know there is no limit to how good or bad a person can feel? Every century I discover a new height of happiness I had never seen before, and when I stood there at that point and looked at the last night of my world, I found a depth of grief that...” she faltered. “In my life I have lost many loved ones. I carry the memory of...”
Celestia went silent. For the third time in 24 hours, Mag floundered for something to say and found nothing. So she just keep hugging the goddess disguised as a mortal as her tears her falling. Then the tears finally stopped and Mag also stopped hugging the goddess.
“I was there for some time,” said Celestia at last. “Then I thought about it. I still lived. Why? Equis is all that I am, but it had gone dark and I'm still here. Looking after my world is my entire purpose. If it dies then I am nothing, in the most literal possible sense. Therefore there was some irregularity, and, anyway, surely the death of a world is more gradual than that. I decided that, while I lived, so did Equis in some manner. Perhaps I really am all that's left. Perhaps my loved ones will live on in my heart and memories and nowhere else. But I believe there is some possibility that I can salvage something of it, and I will not accept its loss until I've explored every possible remedy. There are unknown quantities at work here that must be examined. I can ask questions. And, once I've learned what happened, I will bring all the resources of a goddess to bear.”
“What do you call a fish with no eyes?” Mag choked out.
Celestia blinked. “I don't—”
“Fsh,” said Mag. “What kind of tea is hard to swallow?”
“Th—”
“Reali-tea. What's the difference between you riding a bicycle in a ballgown and me riding a tricycle in shorts and a t-shirt? A-ttire. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Bec—”
“Because she was outstanding in her field,” said Celestia.
Mag took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and let it out. “Right. Take note: bad jokes help with that thing you do.”
The corner of Celestia's mouth twitched. “Duly noted. Well done.”
“Yeah, that was clever of me. Hey, look. It's the big wooden bear. We're in town.”
Celestia looked up at the bear. It stood nearly as tall as the pine trees littered through town. Mag had no idea where it had come from or who had made it.
“I like this bear,” said Celestia. “Does it serve a purpose, or is it there for the sake of art?”
“I think it's just kind of there,” said Mag. "And you know, so tourists and other people can take pictures of it."
“Well then it's doing an excellent job,” said Celestia. She smiled up at it and then at Mag, and the human woman wondered how real the smile was.
Yes, she was going to buy that chocolate.
Author's Note
A beta reader would be helpful.
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed." - Albert Einstein
Living Philosophies, 1931 book by Albert Einstein.
The local grocery store wasn't much bigger than where Mag worked. It carried fresh fruits and vegetables, canned goods, milk, eggs, and other basic food staples, along with junk food, cheap alcohol, cigarettes, candy, chewing tobacco, and an aisle in the back devoted to inedibles, mostly camping gear and cleaning products. And of course they had chocolate.
Mag walked in smelling like magical pony princess tears while Celestia didn't, Mag hated her a bit for that.
“I am starving and I need a smoke. Let's just eat on the curb.”
Celestia followed, shutting the door behind her. “Do you walk to this store often?”
“No, only when I fly home on a magical pony queen and leave my car at work like a moron.” Mag pulled a basket from the stack, and put her purse inside it. “Now then. Shopping list: olives. Wine. Bread. Cigarettes. You get those, and I guess I'll get food for the week... and chocolate, can't have unicorns without chocolate. Wait, can you eat chocolate?”
"I can eat chocolate." Celestia said and took her own basket.
Mag had never shopped vegetarian before. Perhaps it was the size of the store, but vegetarian meals seemed to require a certain amount of actual cooking, rather than microwaves. You could nuke beans and the like, yes, but pasta and rice required work, and Mag normally preferred to save that sort of thing for special occasions. She supposed visiting royalty counted as a special occasion. But there was no vegetarian spaghetti sauce. She wouldn't have to make her own, would she? Mag pulled out her phone to look up recipes, feeling unpleasantly domestic. Surely there were simple sauce recipes. She tried to remenber to pick a few cereal boxes, because it was fast and cheap and equines liked cereals, right? She didn't want to come here again soon.
Mag then tapped the first recipe she saw that said “fast” in the title and frowned. What on earth was a shallot? She kept searching until she found something reasonable, at least in comparison to the others, which all seemed to involve lots of preparation time, arcane ingredients, or both. Bottle of oil, jar of garlic, one onion, can of tomatoes, salt, pepper, Italian spices, bag of hard pasta. She grabbed another pot as well, as it appeared you couldn't cook elaborate meals with only one unless you wanted to cook each component of the meal one at a time. Oh and she got milk because of tea and the cereal.
She was just reading the back of a can of all-bean chili when Mag heard Celestia's delicate footsteps behind her. They didn't quite sound like shoes to her but probably no one else noticed the difference.
“Problem?” asked Mag.
“Mag,” said Celestia.
“Hold on.”
Celestia waited while Mag finished reading. She put the can back; beef for flavoring that Celestia wouldn't like, and turned to see Celestia holding up a flashlight.
“Mag, look. A Mag-Light.”
Mag snorted and then laughed. A startled grunt sounded from the other end of the store and the manager looked around the corner to stare at the two of them. The old man saw Mag's shadow of a smile and stared.
“Sorry about that.” said Mag but her eyes didn't look sorry. The man broke eye contact, shrugged, and walked away. The human woman looked at Celestia and saw that she'd raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, Spock?”
“Did he offend you?”
“Not really, I did apologise didn't I?"
“But you still stared him down,” said Celestia.
“If he'd be less nosy when I'm trying to shop, we'd get along fine.” Mag picked out two cans of pinto beans and walked to the dairy aisle. "And if I was a better liar my life wouldn't be such a big mess, but we can't always get what we want."
Celestia trailed after her. “Has he been a problem before?”
“Not exactly. Although he's asked me questions before, 'What's your name' and all that, and I'm not really up for a conversation after work, you know? And even if I tried my face would still look... angry."
“I see ,” said Celestia.
“So, am I buying that flashlight? I may as well.” Mag plucked it out of Celestia's hands and put it in her basket. She noticed Celestia had nothing in her own basket. She further noticed that Celestia was still giving her a look.
“What?” said Mag.
“When I said 'I see,' I had assumed you'd have something more to say,” said Celestia.
“Like what? And what about the rest of the groceries?”
“Hm?” Celestia glanced down at her basket. “Oh. I apologize; I was distracted. I noticed most of the foods available here are very tightly packaged, perhaps because they must be shipped great distances—I know they must be because many of these products can't be easily grown in this climate. I also noticed how ornate the packaging is, and how each product has enough fine print to resemble a legal document. Most of the packages have elaborate labels on them, all very carefully designed. I was just beginning to consider possible connections between the complexity of human food packaging and the tendency for humans to wear clothes at all times, as if humans were packaging themselves or as if you were clothing your foodstuffs, when I noticed this interesting device with your name on it. Then I brought it to you to see what you'd say.”
“Oh,” said Mag and rubbed her chin “Human wear clothes because we lack fur and to help us in mating rituals. Did you see any bread or olives?”
Celestia continued as if she hadn't heard. “You also asked, 'Like what?' This surprised me, as most ponies, when I say 'I see' in that way, tend to stop whatever they're doing and reconsider their actions.”
“What actions?”
“In this case? Evading smalltalk,” said Celestia.
“Is that seriously a big deal? We were having a fun conversation and then someone was watching and I didn't like that. And I did answer why humans wear clothes and you ignored it! Now who is avoiding smalltalk? You know I tend to be blunt and say what I think, most humans hate that. So instead of fighting why not just avoid talking?" Mag headed for the canned goods aisle in search of olives.
“Yes, is important” said the human shaped goddess. "But I forgot you might find conversation difficult since you have no problem talking with me. And I am sorry for ignoring you Mag, I find your answer about why humans wear clothes quite informative and right to the point."
Mag stopped "So you want me to do smalltalk with another human? Why would I? What's in it for me?”
“You'd like to bargain, then?” Celestia smiled as if she'd won. “Very well. I can't claim to be any great cook, but I've learned to make a few recipes you may enjoy, and I see the ingredients to several of them on these shelves. I'll make one of them tonight if you go and have a civil conversation with the shopkeep.”
A vegetarian dinner made in Mag's kitchen with Mag's things wasn't as appealing as Celestia seemed to believe. Mag wasn't a vegetarian, wasn't wild about people touching her things, and would probably be in the kitchen right alongside Celestia, at first just to hang around awkwardly but, inevitably, to help cook, defeating the purpose of the deal. The only reason Mag didn't immediately refuse was because she didn't actually know how to say “no” to Celestia, and if she did manage to refuse, what then? Celestia might strike up a conversation of her own with the store manager and then draw Mag in anyway because Celestia was wily like that. Or she might let it pass, then be primly angry about it and give Mag the silent treatment. Or she might just leave. Would she be upset enough to leave? She'd only just arrived.
And Celestia world was gone and she had cried on Mag shoulder, and she was also a pretty unicorn princess. And Celestia was a wonderful goddess that needed her help even if she didn't know how to help. And Mag still smelled like unicorn tears and she no longer hated her for that. Because she knew what Celestia was doing, she was keeping busy to not think that all she cared about was gone.
Mag glowered, handed her basket to Celestia and said, “I'll get cigarettes and wine and chocolate, and I'll talk to him for a bit. A little bit. You can handle the olives and bread, right?”
“Certainly,” said Celestia. “And Mag? Relax.”
“Come get me if there's a problem,” said Mag, trudging to the register.
“Hi,” she said.
“Good morning,” said the man.
“Pall Mall, right?”
“Good Morning. Yeah, and your finest box of wine,” said Mag.
The man laughed. He was pushing 60 and bald as an egg. “Finest box. I like that. Well, I've got Franzia. Is that okay?”
“Sure,” said Mag.
The man palmed a pack of Pall Malls, set it on the glass counter, leaned over, grabbed the box in both hands, and set it next to the pack. “Anything else?”
“Yeah, that chocolate bar over there and my friend should be along with some groceries.”
Mag then finally got her delicious chocolate but the man had to keep talking.
“Hey, you know, earlier, that was the first time I've heard you laugh,” he said.
“It's a grocery store, dude,” said Mag. “Not that funny by nature. Wait. Do people laugh in here a lot?"
“Sometimes,” said the man.
“They'll smile, anyway. All I'm saying is, I've never seen you without an annoyed look on your face, and then suddenly you're shopping in the morning with a beautiful woman who can make you laugh.” He gave her a sly look. Mag knew that he was thinking and it was hilarious. Even if they weren't different species, even if they were about the same age... Celestia was more like a relative you like than a friend, much less a lover. And Mag was quite sure that she wasn't gay and if she was, Celestia just wasn't her type.
“I met my husband in this grocery store, you know. It's a charmed place.” Then he looked self conscious. “Not that it's any of my business.”
“Wow, okay. First of all, I know something you don't know,” said Mag.
“What's that?”
“The real answer to that question is hilarious, but for now let's just say she's not my type.”
“Ah, I see. Fair enough.” He scratched his jaw with the heel of his hand and looked embarrassed. “Listen, I don't mean to—”
“Don't worry about it,” said Mag.
“Good morning,” said the manager, clearly relieved. “We were just talking about you.”
“We were?” said Mag.
“Nothing too horrible, I hope,” said Celestia.
“Naw,” said the manager.
“Regardless, introductions are in order. Mag?”
“What?” said Mag.
“Introductions.”
“Sure. Uh, manager guy, what's your name?”
“Jorge,” said the man. “I run this little place. You need anything, I've got the best prices in town—no disrespect meant to any other local convenience stores, of course, ha ha ha!”
“Ha ha,” said Mag. “Jorge, this is Celeste. Celeste, this is Jorge. My name is Mag. I'm behind the counter at the convenience store down the road, the one that doesn't sell gas but does have a broken slushy machine.” I have no social skills. I'm actively dying of hunger and I need a cigarette. I will eat you and smoke your bones if you don't let us get out of here soon.
“Celeste is...”
Celestia interrupted. “Celeste is short for 'Celestia,' and I'm a friend of Mag's and I'm currently staying with her... for reasons I don't want to talk about but basicaly mean my home, family and friends are gone.”
Jorge just gawked for a moment, closed his mouth with an effort, and turned to Mag. “Well, that wasn't my first guess.”
“Yeah, your first guess was that she was my new girlfriend,” said Mag, watching Celestia's face.
Celestia smiled wryly. “I don't think I'm her type.”
Jorge nodded. “Yeah, she said the same thing and sorry for well... making you bring that out.”
Mag pulled her wallet out of her purse, glanced at Celestia's now surprisingly full basket, and put three 20s on the box of wine. Jorge seemed to take the hint and started to manually input prices into the register. Celestia leaned over to study the bills, then noticed the plastic Humane Society donation box, picked it up, read the text, flipped it over and read the back. Jorge stopped to watch her from under his eyelashes.
Celestia sighed, kissed the coin slot, set the box back down and walked out, shutting the door with care.
Jorge handed Mag her change and loaded the cans, tubs, and bottles into paper bags. He didn't seem in the mood to talk anymore.
“Hey, can I borrow one of these baskets? I had to walk here because I left-” Mag was interrupted.
“Left your car at work,” said Jorge. “Do you want me to drive you two over to your store? It's too cold to be walking.”
The last thing Mag wanted to do at this moment was spend more time with another human being, even one who'd turned out to be more or less inoffensive, but she didn't have any good reason to refuse. Now what?
Mag looked at the door to make sure Celestia wasn't listening in and said, “Celeste wanted to look around town a bit, so I was planning to walk us over to where my car is. That way she can take in the sights.” There. Barely even a lie.
“No? You sure?”
“Yeah, I'm sure.”
“All right, well, good luck and have a nice day. I hope everything works out for your friend.”
“So do I, and thanks,” said Mag. Then she stopped. “Seriously. Thanks.”
“For what?”
“I don't know,” said Mag. “I just felt like saying it. Thanks for being polite I guess?"
“Huh. Well, you're welcome.” Jorge waved.
Mag walked out, closed the door behind her, and then realized you were supposed to wave back. She considered going back in to wave but decided not to. She'd barely gotten away.
Celestia was standing in a handicap parking space examining the sign. A nearby homeless man sat against the wall with a bottle in a crumpled paper bag, watching her. Mag maneuvered her basket of groceries to the crook of her arm and fished the receipt out of her change from the twenties, then handed the change to the homeless man along with the half a pack of menthols. She walked up to Celestia and lit a cigarette. She drew deeply and breathed the smoke out slowly, savoring the bite of the tobacco and the way the cold turned her smoke so thick.
She took another slow drag, let it out and said, “So. That kiss you gave the donation box. Did that do anything?”
“Almost nothing,” said Celestia.
“Almost nothing,” repeated Mag.
“Almost nothing,” confirmed Celestia.
“But not nothing.”
Celestia watched the plume of smoke and said, “You know, the more I stay here the more I notice it, this world is broken. Is like they fit a square box in a round hole."
“Well, humans can't have all the fault right?” said Mag then offered half the chocolate bar to Celestia. The goddess ate it in silence.
Then the disguised winged unicorn gave Mag an appraising look. “What is your work history?”
Mag took the cigarette out of her mouth and tapped ash into the snow. “Are we being serious? Because I am not happy with my current job."
Working for a goddess, would that make her a priest or a secretary? Maybe both.
“Yes,” said Celestia. “I know little about you, but I'm beginning to suspect I know more than most, and as the local Mag expert I judge you to be a woman of potential. What are your ambitions, Mag?”
“I don't really have any. I just wanted to coast through life, honestly. Then I meet a unicorn goddess and had tea with her, and before that we even flew together. I can die happily now only not really because I don't wanna die yet thank you."
“Many have lived worthwhile lives with no goal but to be happy,” said Celestia."And I am glad that I made you happy."
“Right,” said Mag then ate the rest of the chocolate nervously.
Celestia took Mag's hands.
“Mag?”
“Yeah?” Mag took her hands back with as much tact as she could manage. She wasn't gonna be asked to do THAT for her goddess right? Because really it would be like it was her own mother and Mag didn't have that fetish, no and thank you.
Celestia let go of Mag's hands but didn't move away. “I... I know people, you see. I understand them. It may be a power given to me for the sake of fulfilling my responsibilities, or maybe it's a skill I've picked up by caring very much for very many people over a very long time. I've spoken with you and listened to the things you've said, and I've to a few conclusions. You are not shaped like my people, and as a human, you think differently and see the world differently than nearly anyone I've ever met. But you have the same look in your eyes that my sister once did, and our mutual friend Jorge wonders why you never laugh, and so do I. And.. Apparently I can make you happy.” Celestia lifted her chin and her tone grew imperious. “Write a resume. Submit it to me. I need to know more about your work history and existing skills, but I have a job opening and I want you to fill it.”
“Uh, wow,” said Mag. “What's the job? Not limo driving?”
“The human world is endlessly intricate and you understand it. I am also not used to working without help, frankly. I need both a guide and an aide-de-camp. We can put your restlessness to work, and as you work you can think on what you really want out of life. And while most humans can't see me as I really am, those that can might know something to help."
“I'd have to quit my other job, of course,” said Mag thoughtfully. "Do you have any local currency you can use to pay me?"
“If you do then my advice is to be polite, give adequate notice, don't cut ties and I could sell a few jewels.” said Celestia.
“Because you won't be here forever and I'll need my old job back? And nice to know you aren't without any money.”
“Because it's the proper way to do things,” said Celestia, wagging a finger playfully.
“What's an aide-de-camp?”
“You're asking questions. Good. An aide-de-camp is a personal assistant for a political or military figure. Different aides will have different responsibilities according to whom they assist. In your case, you would keep track of my schedule and contacts, prepare me for social events, and solve all the little problems that could undermine my efforts if not addressed by a competent person. You would arrange for meals, and for appropriate clothes for both of us. You'd maintain cordial working relationships, note the emphasis, with the servants and representatives of the mighty, and you yourself would be my representative when I'm not available. You'd follow me as I go about my day, especially at parties and the like, and take notes on future engagements or any promises I make. You may also have to read my mind sometimes, which is to say anticipating my wishes and acting accordingly. I wouldn't worry about that part, however, as you already do that very well, such as when you knew I would prefer to see more of the town than be taken directly to our next stop.”
Mag just looked at her. "You can't talk to the human leaders, well you could but not as a magical pony princess and as a human they would have no reason to listen to you. And weren't you just looking for the magic using humans?"
Celestia looked back, and then she was just herself instead of a Disney princess lookalike. "Sorry... I guess I am doing this wrong and... would the word secretary work better for this?"
"It would." Said Mag.
"Then le's just call it work as my secretary. And please remember that as my secretary speaks it might be taken as her speaking for me. I once had an ambassador who accidentally started a war because she thought she was speaking off the record, off the clock and purely on her own behalf, when in fact there is no such thing. Don't lie under any circumstances. Don't mislead unless lives are in immediate danger and you are perfectly certain I can't deal with the problem myself.”
Mag raised a finger. “Another question. What if it's a choice between lying and starting a war? Or lying or let someone die?"
“Stale, give evasive answers, fetch me, and let me talk them out of it.”
“You do realize this is the one job in the whole world I'm the least qualified for? I don't know magic or any witch or wizard. Or about this world Regent. And my mind to mouth filter sucks."
“Just trust me,” said Celestia as she smiled.
Celestia was turning out to be a smiler. Mag supposed it was a kind of political defense mechanism. People saw the smile and believed she was in control, that nothing was wrong. This time, Celestia was giving Mag the smile of a stage magician asking her volunteer to lie down in a box and Mag had always wanted to be sawn in half.
“Sure, but only because you promised to talk to me about how magic works, remember?"
Celestia's smile widened. “We can talk about that later. For now, I need your resume."
“Okay. Let's eat on the curb and see if that homeless guy wants any olives.”
Celestia looked confused.
“'Homeless guy?'”
“That guy,” said Mag, pointing. The man was still watching them.
“Hey, dude. Want some bread, olives and boxed wine? We'll all have to drink right out of the box without touching the spigot, but we can make it work if we believe in ourselves enough. The other problem, though, is that I don't have a can opener for these olives. Maybe Jorge does. Let me... what? What is it?”
Celestia had grasped Mag's hand with magic, and Mag didn't think she could have pried Celestia loose without a crowbar and a gob of lotion, if that even worked with magic. The smile was gone and now Celestia wore a mask of calm. She approached the homeless man, pulling Mag behind her.
“My name is Princess Celestia, Regent of Equis.” And to Mag surprise she have a gentle bow to the homeless man. “What is your proper title, cousin?”
The homeless man got up. He was easily taller than Celestia, with a craggy face and wiry gray beard.
“Eldest.” he said, in a voice like sharkskin.
Mag felt like punching him but she was still held in Celestia's magic. And she decided to not talk after what Celestia just said.
At least she had already eaten some chocolate.
Author's Note
In case you guys still haven't noticed it yet, Celestia in this story is basically invisible to humans unless said humans see the world in a different way or Celestia uses a disguise. I had Celestia asking Mag to be an aide-de-camp and then change the post to secretary for that reason.
Other things you guys might have missed:
First Chapter: Mag having trouble to see Celestia at first because she was too wonderful to be true.
Second Chapter: Mag noticed that it snowed despite the weather forecast saying nothing about it. Oh And Celestia crying and getting hugs from Mag.
"Manners are the shadows of virtues; the momentary display of those qualities which our fellow creatures love, and respect." - by Sydney Smith
Sermons, 1809 book by Sydney Smith.
Celestia gave the Eldest her sunniest, gentlest smile, so of course there was something a bit fake about it. Mag thought that maybe she was projecting, that it was her hate for the Eldest. Why did she even hate the guy anyway?
Ah right, what had Celestia said about Earth and the Eldest before they even meet the guy?
"A Regent is the being responsible for taking care of a world, a supreme God if you will."
“You know, the more I stay here the more I notice it, this world is broken. Is like they fit a square box in a round hole."
Ah yes that was a good reason to hate the Eldest. But not good enough is like hating the Eldest just... just feel right. But Mag only acted that way after Earth's Regent revealed himself.
Strange. And considering that she knew a magical pony princess, that was saying something.
“I'm happy you found me. I had intended to begin searching for you after breakfast, but I could see no simple way to contact you and I've heard nothing of any palace or fortress you might maintain, so I wasn't certain how to go about finding you.”
The Eldest returned the smile or showed his teeth at least. “I'll walk over there,” he pointed at the mouth of an alley about 30 or 40 yards away, “and you two can talk amongst yourselves for as long as you need. Then you'll follow me if you want to discuss what you're doing in my world, and why one of my subjects is following you around like a duckling.”
Then he walked away. Celestia watched him like a cat watching a stranger.
“So,” Mag said.
“Your Regent,” said Celestia. She let go of the hold she had of Mag with her magic and the human woman rubbed her hands and then massaged her fingers. Stupid magic.
“So why can't I feel him the way I feel you? And any idea of why I wanted to hurt him?”
“You can't feel him because you've always felt him,” said Celestia. “He guided the history of your species, and every single one of you have been influenced by him in countless ways. I don't know his powers or his methods, but I can tell you that, as Regent, it is he who decided what it means to be human, what it feels like from day to day. And that also makes it quite strange that you felt the need to hurt him. That might or not have to do with how Earth is broken."
The Eldest had reached the alley. He leaned against the wall and lit one of the cigarettes Mag had given him, looking as if he was prepared to wait forever.
“Is that right,” Mag said under her breath.
“You've lived your whole life in the shadow of his hand.” Celestia shuddered. “Skies above, his aura . It feels like delirium and cold winds.”
“'Aura.' That's another word for the thing you do? Or you both do, I guess.”
“I think humans can feel my presence in the same way I feel his, yes,” said Celestia. “I wouldn't expect a species without magic to perceive auras, but I suppose encountering a foreign Regent must be like finding a patch of snow in the desert, even to a creature who has never touched the aether and doesn't understand what it is she's feeling.”
“Huh. Well, your aura reminds me of Broadway music, or possibly a children's choir, if you were wondering.”
“I know. I've been told it's a bit cloying.” A look of concentration crossed Celestia's face. After some thought, she said, “Two aliens are sitting in a bar. One alien says, “Blorp, bloop, blee noog warble.' The second says, 'Goodness, I think you've had quite enough.”
Mag nodded. “Very corny. Good job. Did it help?”
“No,” said Celestia sourly. She squared her shoulders. “I suppose we'd better just follow him.”
Then Mag have Celestia another hug, weird since she didn't remember being a hugger.
"Do you really have to?" Mag almost whined while saying that.
"Yes, this is his world after all."
Mag shrugged. “Fine. If it makes you feel any better, you're probably just as hard for him to take as he is for you. You tend to give me a... how do you call it when you feel you could have done something better?"
"Guilt and regret perhaps? I would just as soon seem harmless, but I'll keep that in mind,” said Celestia. “And I don't suppose I could convince you to stay behind while I talk with him?”
“Are you kidding? Leaving you alone with him would make me feel as if I killed a puppy and I would hate myself. And even if you come back without suffering any harm I would still feel horrible."
Since when it was she who was mothering Celestia? Or was she like a child that didn't want her mother to go to face danger alone?
“He's an exceedingly dangerous being,” warned Celestia. “He smells of insanity, of the dangerous kind, and I'm not certain how much value he would attach to an individual subject even if he is sane. I've spoken with Regents who would harm one of theirs to make a minor rhetorical point, or because it didn't occur to them not to, or because they were hungry. But I appreciate the fact you care about me that much, thanks Mag, for being a good friend."
“I'm not going anywhere, sorry.” Not waiting for an answer, Mag walked toward the alley.
Celestia caught up. “As you wish. I'll do what I can to protect you. I would suggest you stay silent, but I get the feeling you already have other plans.”
“What gave you that idea?”
Celestia just looked at her.
"Right, let's go before I get paralysed by terror."
Most of the snow had melted by this time, but little drifts of dirty snow still lay in certain shadows the morning sun couldn't reach. The Eldest's alley was narrow, about six feet wide, so direct light hadn't touched it yet. Snow lined the bottoms of both walls, and the pile of wet trash stuck to the fence at the back of the alley was still frozen.
The Eldest glanced at Mag and Celestia and stepped into the alley without looking back, apparently trusting them to follow him. They did.
He led them to the end of the alley and to a metal door to one side. The door had no handle. The Eldest laid his hand where the handle would be, flexed his hand, and pulled. There was the sound of wrenching metal and the door opened as if his hand were a magnet. Inside was a flat plane of wood. The eldest shoved it with both hands and it tipped over, revealing itself to be a rotten pressboard bookcase. Behind the bookcase was an empty room lit by a broken window covered in bars. The walls, the floor, and the ceiling were all made of discolored concrete. Five large concrete blocks had been scattered in one corner, each the size of a park bench, and there was a pile of bricks next to the door, possibly an ex-fireplace. The room was otherwise bare, and colder than a meat locker.
The Eldest stepped over the bookcase, walked to the corner, and sat on one of the concrete blocks with his back to the wall.
“Today,” he rasped, “this room will be my court. We won't be disturbed. Princess, you're here as a supplicant, yes?”
“Yes,” said Celestia. She sat down on another block seven feet away. Mag followed suit.
“Uncomfortable?” asked the Eldest.
“Not terribly,” answered Celestia.
“I mean my presence. I know how I feel to other Regents."
"I can endure it. How about myself? I am too uncomfortable?"
"You are like the worst hangover ever combined with a mother I don't want to disappoint but I always do. I am probably going to get very very very drunk after this."
"Okay, if it makes you feel better you are actually very uncomfortable to me, like having my skin being rubbed all over with broken glass."
“Good. Welcome to my court. You are Princess Celestia, and you are Margaret Taylor Wilson. Don't look startled, girl; you're mine and I know everything about you. As for myself, I am Eldest of the humans, wandering king, builder of cities. My name is none of your business.” He held out the paper sack with the bottle. “No toasts.”
Celestia took it, sipped lightly from it, wiped her lips, and passed it to Mag. Mag sipped as well, and choked.
“What the hell is this? It tastes like Wild Turkey and Nyquil.” She swallowed with some difficulty and handed it back to him.
“That's because it's Wild Turkey and Nyquil,” said the eldest. He drained the bottle and tossed it over his shoulder. It broke against the wall behind him.
“Introductions and shared drink, as per the old rules. We can begin.”
Celestia nodded graciously. “Thank you for hearing me. I am—”
“Sorry, sorry, one thing,” said Mag. She stood up. Celestia gave her a warning glance, but stood up alongside her. The Eldest stood up as well. Mag's forehead came up to his Adam's apple.
“Just as you like,” said the Eldest. He gazed down at her with his calm, hard eyes.
“Cool. You're the Regent of Earth?”
“That's right.”
“Guard and guide of the humans since the beginning of the species?”
“King and builder,” growled the eldest.
“But basically yes?”
“King and builder.”
“But basically yes.”
“Speak your piece,” said the Eldest.
"Why do I hate you then?"
“Mag!” shouted Celestia.
"Why should I tell you?" The Eldest grinned showing his teeth. Mag had to mentally chant about unicorns and not making Celestia sad to avoid punching him, since he had such a punchable face. She still clenched her fists in anger.
Celestia interposed herself between the two humans, even if one of those humans was actually a God. They stepped back, glaring at each other.
“I think we should discuss this in a different way,” said Celestia.
“Oh, but this is the human way,” said Mag.
“Melodrama?” asked the Eldest.
“You are the Regent of Humans, do you really need to ask?"
“Mag, Eldest, please sit down.” said Celestia in a firm tone. It was like being lectured by your mother.
Mag ground her teeth, but sat down. So did the Eldest, then Celestia.
“Thank you.” Celestia laid a hoof on Mag's shoulder, she felt better somehow, her anger lessening. Magic was bullshit.
“Mag, you are asking what sounds like a very valid question, but is up to him if he wants to answer the question. Starting a fight you can't win would just get you destroyed. I know you did not hit him but it was close."
“You were also trying to talk about something important when I changed the subject,” said Mag, squeezing her eyes shut. “Sorry.”
“You do have the right,” said Celestia, frowning at the Eldest. “As for you, old one, if you don't like to be asked impertinent questions, why would you teach them to be so curious and so angry? And I, too, wish to hear your answers to her question, because the answer may change how I approach this hearing. I'm going to step back and let her speak first. Mag, would you like to try again?”
“Hold,” said the Eldest. “Princess, you asked a rhetorical question just now and I'm going to answer it. It's simple. I taught them anger and curiosity by pretending not to exist, so of course I'm not going to want to answer questions.”
“You let people kill each other because you don't want them to know you exist?” said Mag.
The eldest sneered. “What do you want me to do? Go public? You think all the wars are going to stop if I go on the news and tell people to knock it off?”
“Well... considering the fact I hated you the moment I found you were Earth's Regent... no."
“Are you seriously suggesting you can't stop a war?” said Celestia, genuinely surprised. "And I admit that I share Mag's curiosity about why she hates you."
“First I don't stop wars,” said the Eldest and Celestia looked at him as if he'd just eaten a child.
“Sun and Moon, why not? I know you couldn't stop every one but-"
The Eldest glare silenced the pony Goddess, then he took a last drag of his cigarette and flicked the butt away. He'd smoked it down to the filter.
“Because I mostly can't. Oh, I can prevent them. I prevent wars all the time. If you all built a monument for every battle I've prevented, you'd run out of space for anything else." He lifted Mag's pack of menthols to his lips, sucked one out, struck a match on a concrete block, and lit up behind a cupped hand. “Can't prevent all of them, of course. Doesn't matter what I do. Sometimes someone picks the wrong place and time to mention God or communism or whatever the fuck, and then it's off to kill and die. And I'm not a wizard. I can't walk onto a battlefield and stop time, and if I could, they'd just start dying again after I left. Sometimes humans kill. It's something we do.”
"Fine. Then why do humans hate you?"
She could have asked about the Eldest powers but that would lead to an argument. She already knew Earth was broken and knew the Eldest was responsible somehow.
"Do you really want the answer? Is not a nice thing to hear."
"Yes."
"You can feel it, don't you? How this world was never made to be ruled by just one person. It works, but it's lopsided and warped, like a house missing some of its supports. And there's an emptiness to me, a ragged hole were something that should be there just isn't."
"You had a brother." That wasn't a question, it was an affirmation.
"Yes and I killed him."
Mag jumped backward off her seat, stumbled back and then hid behind Celestia.
"Why?" Celestia voice just sounded sad.
“I smashed a butterfly,” said the Eldest. "An important part of my job is controlling the variables in human history. My brother would have been the biggest variable, and there was only one way I could control him. It was almost the first thing I did in life. Do you know, killing a God is a lot easier when you can see every possible future? You just have to look for a future where he's dead, then see how that future came about, then make it happen.” His eyes narrowed. “What's wrong, princess? Never had to make a tough call before? Or maybe that story sounds familiar to you. You had a sister, didn't you?”
Celestia almost fell into his trap but didn't because she had a scared human woman behind her. A scared woman that might not be one of her little ponies but it was her only friend on Earth.
"Mag hates you because you hate yourself isn't it?"
The Eldest laughed.
Mag felt nauseous. “The oldest human, the guy who decided what it means to be human, kicked things off with a murder... and then guilt .That was our defining moment. It makes sense.”
“This is another reason I never explain myself,” said the eldest. “Listen to me. Live a couple of decades or walk a few miles, look around, and you'll see that right and wrong have changed a little. Walk further or live longer and even more changes. You want to know what life would be like if my brother were alive? It'd be incomprehensible to you as you are now. You'd be horrified. You wouldn't even call it civilization, and you wouldn't want to call them humans. The princess would have appeared on the lakeshore, climbed up the hill, met a few of us, and walked right back to the lake to search for a different world. I know this. I stood in that tall grass for the first time at my brother's side, looked at him, and saw. I saw all the futures of humanity, ladies, and this timeline is the only one I could stomach.”
“What kind of twisted world Earth is that... that you're the good twin?” asked Mag, attempting to process all this in terms she could understand.
“Oh my brother was the magical one, all glorious and perfect. His head was full of hopes and dreams, and then I strangled them out of him. Why? Because with him humans would just be mere toys to used and be discarded. I have humanity it's free will but that makes me no hero, it makes me the villain. Did you know that I can't enter a home? Our aether laid a punishment on me for what I did. I killed my family, so I can never have another, at least not like that. I can only wander. But that wasn't enough, that's why you hate me, because I want to die, I want to kill myself for what I did. Hence why all humans want to kill or at least hurt me as soon as they find out who and what I am. But if I die so does Earth. One murder was enough thank you."
Mag's head whirled. She could tolerate the idea of a flying unicorn princess, because she was crazy. And this mad and somewhat pitiful suicidal God fit nicely with what she knew of the world, or so she would have said if someone had described him to her a week ago as a purely hypothetical being.
What she couldn't do was accept the idea of these two beings existing in the same multiverse. Mag sat down on the floor and pressed her hands to her eyes.
"So... who creates worlds? Who is the one responsible for this big fuck up that ended with humanity being murderous suicidal people? Because really... this... this is rather cruel."
The eldest chuckled. “I don't know, and your beloved pony princess Goddess doesn't know either. But don't try to whitewash what I did, I am the bad guy here, just one that didn't like lack of free will. Now let's move on to what this meeting is really about."
“I have two things to say, first,” said Celestia, who looked... wonderful in Mag eyes, much much more than she ever saw like that before. That made her feel better for some reason.
“Go ahead,” said the Eldest.
“One. I won't go into detail, but if you can see the future then you know I'm not bluffing when I say that, if you don't apologize to me for that comment about my sister, and to Mag for making her suffer, you won't like what follows.”
She might not have fallen into that trap to distract her, but the comment still hurt and Mag was her friend after all.
“Fine, fine,” said the Eldest. “I'm sorry, Princess Celestia, for comparing the two of us. I was trying to say that we both know what it means to make terrible personal sacrifices for our people. Ms. Wilson, I am sorry for making you learn this. But it was your choice to get into this meeting and ask what you asked. I could have been gentler in how I revealed things but I am not a kind person in the best days and Celestia being this close to me gets me really irritated. There, princess. Good enough?”
“For now,” said Celestia. “Two. In all the futures, was there a world where humanity would have got free will without your brother being murdered?"
The Eldest was no longer smiling, he looked actually sad.
“Of course. If you can describe a world, it was a possibility at one point. Do you realize how many futures there are at any given time? In a chess game, that's one of the simplest worlds I've ever come across, there are 400 possible different board configurations after both players make their first move of the game. After they go a second time, it's about 200,000. After the third turn, the number is 121 million. Now imagine a board game as complicated as your world or mine, played over the course of eons. That board game is the game I'm playing every day.” He chuckled again. “I went for the choices that were most likely to get humanity free will. Yes that means I became a murderer and that my guilt eats me every day, at every moment. So you can imagine how unlikely the other options were my brother lived were. Yes maybe I could have done it, maybe I would have failed and my brother would have been the murderer instead. But what's done is done. Did that answer your question?”
“To my satisfaction,” said Celestia but she didn't look satisfied at all, if anything she looked ended sadder that when she cried about losing her World.
“Then make your other request,” said the Eldest with a languid, magisterial wave.
“Yes, I'd like to leave your company as soon as possible.”
“Then get to the point.”
Celestia sat up straighter. “I want to submit a request for safe passage and temporary residence in your world, along with any refugees I may find who would normally be under my protection. If you're willing, I would also like permission to bargain and treat with your people, helping wherever I may. I will neither make nor request any oath of fealty. I will offer no threat to your sovereignty. I—”
“Boilerplate, boilerplate,” said the eldest. “The standard refugee arrangement. Request granted. But what about your little friend? Protect her and order her around, if you like, but she's not yours.”
Mag glared at her Regent. “I'm not yours either, you bastard.” Celestia grinned back at her.
“You're my responsibility,” said the eldest. “That's what the word 'mine' means.”
Mag could have the rest of her philosophical crisis later. “Then I can't possibly be yours, because I'm my responsibility. I make my own decisions. Yeah, you created the world as it is. You're pretty much God. You even created me, sort of, because you made a bunch of choices about how history should go and now here I am. The only real limit on your power over the world is human nature, and you created that too, didn't you? But you know what?” She leaned against Celestia, laid a hand on her back, and rested a cheek on her neck. “Hail Satan.”
The Eldest threw his head back and laughed. “Well, just call it a contract between the two of you and it'll be covered under the part of the agreement about bargaining with humans. But princess, don't ever forget that even if I gave her to you and declared you her regent, she'd still be a human. She always will be, and if you try to change that, you'll break her.” He cracked his knuckles and neck, stood, stretched his back, rolled his shoulders. Celestia stepped off her own block.
“We done here?” said the Eldest.
“I'd say so,” said Celestia.
“Hopefully forever,” said Mag. "But I know that's very unlikely to be the case."
“Good. Thanks for the cigarettes,” said the Eldest. “Oh, and Mag? Someone robbed your store last night because you didn't activate the alarm. I didn't do it.” Then he left.
Mag and Celestia stared at the door for a while. Celestia folded a wing around Mag shoulders, and Mag pressed her face into Celestia's side.
"Is okay, the store is insured... " The human know as Mag said in a weak voice. "I will just get fired because I wasn't at my job while I should have been."
"I am sorry about that, is my fault isn't it?" Celestia asked sounding worried.
"No, is mine. If that asshole isn't blaming whoever created my world for having to kill his brother, I can admit that I was irresponsible and that forgot to set the alarm while also ditching work."
"That's quite mature of you Mag. Do you think you could try to be more polite from now on?"
"Now that's just crazy talk."
"But Mag, aren't you crazy?" Celestia smile was so wide it was a tad creppy.
"Darn, you got me princess. Fine, I will give it a try."
Author's Note
So, I didn't really make the Eldest more sympathetic, just made him explain himself better.
"Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise." - by Margaret Eleanor Atwood
Cat's Eye, 1988 book by Margaret Eleanor Atwood.
Celestia held the dustpan in place with magic as Mag swept Funyuns into it. The thieves had trashed the place.
“I would think you'd be angrier,” said Celestia. She had assumed her human disguise again, Mag had no clue why since she was using magic to do things. Maybe it was a distraction, yes that probably was it.
“One thing I've learned about this job is that people turn feral the moment they walk into a convenience store,” said Mag. “If I started shouting every time someone acted like an animal in here, I'd never stop. Oh and is still my fault this happened."
Celestia emptied the dustpan into the plastic trash bin next to her. “Has this place ever been robbed before?”
“Not while I've been working here, but I think it's happened at least once. Okay, I think this aisle is good. What's in the next one?”
Celestia peered around around the corner of the next aisle. “Quite a lot of melted ice-cream. It's mostly dried now.”
“Okay, time for the mop. Isn't that also the aisle they dumped the oil in?”
Celestia took another look. “Yes, over on the other end. Shall we use a towel for that part?”
“Could you do that, please? There are paper towels under the counter.”
“Of course,” said Celestia. She walked over to the lake of car oil at the end of aisle three while rummaging blindly with her magic through the shelves beneath the register. She found the roll of paper towels (a particularly large and thick brand of paper towels Mag regularly ordered from an industrial supply website because, as Mag had told Celestia, customers were animals) floated them over, and pulled off a sheet.
Mag walked out the back door to get hot water from the bathroom. Thankfully she had not left any keys behind when she had left the other day; but that meant every lock was broken and so the doors were mostly useless. She mixed a big bucket with detergent and hot water, grabbed the mop, and went back in.
“Could you also pass me my putty knife?” said Mag. After another rummage, Celestia floated it over.
“Thanks.” Mag dipped the putty knife in the hot water with detergent and got to scraping up ice-cream. Celestia finished sopping up the oil and began gathering the empty wrappers strewn everywhere.
Mag remembered something. “Oh, you know what happened that was sort of like this? That time a pack of coyotes got in at night. They ate everything, puked it back up, and left. Less actual property damage and they didn't run off with the money, but on the other hand, I had to clean it up by myself. Thanks, by the way.”
“I'm hardly going to stand around and watch someone else clean up a mess like this all on her own.” said Celestia, picking up shards of glass from the broken freezer door.
“You're royalty, though.” said Mag.
“Yes, this is unusual for me. I've helped with disaster relief before, righting fallen trees and performing large scale counterspells and moving boulders from roads, that sort of thing, but I don't often clean a floor. Last time was... a few hundreds of years ago. I did a dangerous alchemical experiment that went wrong and the result was too toxic for any of my little ponies, so I had to clean it myself."
"Your little ponies? Why do you call them like that?"
"I honestly don't remember anymore, does it sound bad?"
"No it sounds kind of cute. You're enjoying this, aren't you?”
“I thought it would be insensitive to say so, but yes,” said Celestia smiling. She picked up and threw away the empty ice-cream tubs all over the floor, and hummed a tune as she did it.
Mag shook her head. Celestia was wonderful, beautiful, as unquenchable as the sun, and as perfect as Mary Poppins, and Mag, to her own surprise, appreciated the company. But at the same time, Mag was beginning to understand why the ugly stepsisters hated Cinderella. Then again Celestia was really a unicorn, so Mag could forgive her.
An ugly part of herself didn't want to share the Princess with anyone else, but Mag knew that even if most people couldn't see Celestia true form, ponies were herd animals. Celestia was very very very sociable and that kind of people didn't deal well with not being around many people for a long time. So Mag would have to share HER unicorn, dammit.
“Did you say coyotes?” asked Celestia.
“Yeah, coyotes.”
“It's interesting. We had that species of animal in Equestria.”
“Why are our worlds so similar? Same language, same animals. Is it like that with all the worlds?”
“Most worlds have a number of things in common with each other, but not usually to this extent, no. I had to search for quite some time to find a world with so many similarities. Are you going to use that mop?”
“Right after I finish scraping up this ice cream,” said Mag. “You were looking for a world like yours, then?”
“I had hoped to find a world with inhabitants who understood magic on the same level my people do, so that they might help me determine what has happened to my world. Unfortunately your people are in the age of science so most of them are almost blind to the aether, and, so far as I've seen, you don't even detect it. And your science isn't as advanced as it would need to be to help so I hope we find some human magic users soon. More importantly, I made a new friend.” She smiled and winked at Mag.
“Yes, on the whole, this is a good place, not the best but quite good.”
Mag just lazily sat on a chair, admiring Celestia wonderful human disguise.
“If you're just going to sit there, couldn't you let me use the mop?” asked Celestia.
This was domestic, like Mag was cleaning the family home with a mother that actually cared about her, it was quite nice.
“I'm gonna use it as soon as I finish scraping,” said Mag. “If you want to clean up the rest of the oil, you could just use paper towels and dish soap. That might work better anyway.”
“We'll see, I suppose,” said Celestia. "Oh I almost forgot, I need to set up a laboratory. I'll know more about what I need by the end of today.”
“Why, what happens at the end of today?”
“There are some things I'd like to check in Equestria. Now that I've had time to rest and think, I've realized there are certain samples I need to collect, certain tests I need to run.”
“We're going dimension-hopping?” said Mag. “Cool!”
“'We?'” said Celestia. She deposited one last soapwater-and-oil-soaked paper towel in the trash, wet a cloth towel in a bucket of clean water, and rinsed the soap from the floor.
Mag braced herself for an argument. “Yeah, 'we.' You want me to sit around and wait for you while you go places no human has ever been?”
Celestia set the “wet floor” sign down where the oil had been and cast around for the next thing to clean.
“That's what I'd planned, yes.”
“I have a better plan, and the plan is that you take me with you. And before you tell me it's dangerous, would you say it's more dangerous than the Eldest? Because I survived that meeting just fine, and he even scares you.”
“If I had known then what I know now about your Eldest, I would have pushed much harder for you to stay behind.” Celestia said sternly. It was motherly concern and Mag hated herself a bit by going against her pony unicorn princess mother wishes.
“And you didn't, and it was horrible, and I'm just dandy all the same,” said Mag. “Come on. Do you really want to fight about this? I don't. I'm not one to complain, and I want you to understand that I don't blame you for any of this, but honestly? Hanging out with you is the one and only good thing about my day so far. Even breakfast sucked, and I was looking forward to that. Well no I didn't really suck but only because I had it with you. And because I worry about you."
“I certainly can't say much for that wine, at least,” said Celestia. “And I do appreciate your concern for me. Well, how about this? For the rest of today, you'll teach me about the human world, and then I'll make the Equestria trip tomorrow instead. The first part of today has been difficult, but we can make something of the rest of it.”
Mag tossed the putty knife into mop bucket and got up. “I'm going to stop being subtle. I was always awful at it anyway. I can't let you go back to Equestria alone because of what it was like for you last time you were there. I realize we just met, but having anyone with you while you're in there would be better than having nobody, right? I'm coming with you.”
And now Mag had embarrassed herself. She bent and fished around in the mop bucket for the putty knife, mostly for something to do other than maintain eye contact. You weren't supposed to come out and say that kind of thing, were you? But then she had the pretty pony princess goddess cry on her shoulder and she had even given her hugs.
Mag glanced up at Celestia and saw a touched expression. “I... wasn't looking forward to that part.”
This time it was Mag who got a hug. It felt nice, it felt wonderful, it was nostalgic. How long it had been since Mag's mother had hugged her? She couldn't remember. Then the hug stopped.
And Celestia fixed Mag hair with magic almost like a mother would, if they had magic.
“Glad we settled that,” said Mag, and went to mop the aisle. Her other reason for wanting to come was that she was feeling clingy, but there was no need to mention that.
Because Celestia knew, and Mag knew Celestia was also feeling clingy about Mag. What were the odds that two different people, from different species and culture could just... connect so well?
Then again, maybe that was the point. Maybe Mag was a pawn in the Eldest Humanity chess game. But if it have her a unicorn, she didn't really mind.
Cleaning the store had taken hours even with Celestia and her magic being an immense help, especially when it turned out that she fixed all the broken locks. Fixing the broken machines was beyond her magic unless Mag got Celestia to learn how to fix them without magic first, so that would kind of defeat the whole point of using magic in the first place.
Celestia even fixed the broken glass of the freezer door. Now the only problems were the empty register, the stock shortage, and the fact that she would have to call her boss to tell him about all this, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was talk to someone with a legitimate reason to be angry with her.
Mag snapped the register shut. “I changed my mind. I am mad. Messing up some podunk mountain snack shack is childish, but hey, cleaning up after jerks is half my job. Robbing a convenience store is so mundane that I'm a tiny bit disappointed I wasn't there for it, so I could live the cliché and maybe get some pity points from my boss. But wrecking the ice-cream machines? That's just pure evil."
“I wonder if we could catch the thieves?” asked the goddess.
“I don't even want to look at them.” answered the human.
“We could maybe take the money back, and I wouldn't mind the chance to give them a talking-to,” said Celestia. “We could also call your local constabulary. You have one, I presume?”
“They wouldn't be able to do anything, and anyway, they'd want to catch the thieves, and what if they do? The thieves are probably teenagers. They'd go to juvie, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. I know what I'm talking about; I spent a couple weeks there. Okay I lied, they go wrecking stuff for fun, they deserve to be there."
“Juvie?” said Celestia.
“Juvenile hall. Jail for kids. And before you ask, no, I'm not a hardened criminal. It was just some stupid teenager stuff.”
“I trust you,” said Celestia. “It confuses and disturbs me that a child can go to jail for a crime that only merits a two week sentence, though. Surely there's a more appropriate punishment.”
Mag stripped open a Slim Jim. “It was going to be a day, but I got in a couple of fights. Does that make it better or worse?”
“I think I don't know enough about your criminal justice system to comment,” said Celestia. “Do you mind if I ask what you did?”
“Ten years ago, I borrowed my parents' car without their permission. Turns out I had got my driving licence and they had said they would let me use the car when I got my licence, but it was a lie. They reported it as stolen because they wanted to teach me a lesson and because they were that kind of assholes. I got pulled over for coming to a rolling stop. The cop found out what happened and took me to the station, I got in a shouting match with the cop, then again with my mom over the phone, and then with my dad in person. Some other cop put his hand on my shoulder from behind and I turned around and decked him, I know that was stupid, and they sent me to juvie for a day be 'scared straight.' Want some Doritos?”
“Some what?” asked Celestia. Mag tossed her a small bag. “Oh, I see. Thank you. And judging by the empty wrappers we threw away, it opens like this.” Celestia opened the bag, crunched a chip and motioned for Mag to continue.
Mag rang up the chips and Slim Jim, but she couldn't make change because there wasn't any in the register, so she wrote herself a sticky note about it and stuck it to the counter. “Anyway, there was this other girl in juvie that hated me on sight. No idea why. That escalated because neither of us knew how to back down, so, long story short, my stay got extended. It wasn't fun, but it could have been worse. I didn't get any scars to start with, not were any knifes or drugs involved."
Celestia nodded sympathetically and ate another chip.
“You aren't appalled at my dark past?” Mag didn't really think it was that big of a deal. Sure it had made it harder for her to get a job, but when she was able to tell the full story it sometimes made her actually get a job instead of losing it.
“That isn't a dark past; that's a difficult adolescence. Goodness, these are salty. May I have something to drink?”
Mag tossed her a water bottle. Celestia opened it without difficulty, apparently they had twist tops in Equestria, and drank a third of it in one go. She set the bottle down on the floor and frowned at her dust stained hand. Doritos tend to do that.
Mag tossed her the roll of paper towels.
“Thank you,” said Celestia. “As I was saying, I've never come across a culture in which adolescence is easy, and some individuals have it harder than others depending on personality and circumstances.”
“Yeah, well, I was an independent-minded and opinionated teenage girl in an authoritarian family,” said Mag. “They had me memorize every bible verse related to obedience when I was a little kid. I had to wear dresses, never pants, and I was supposed to call my parents 'sir' and 'ma'am.' There were a lot more rules, but maybe you get the picture. At some point I started testing boundaries. Little things. Sarcasm, lying, sitting without crossing my legs. They got mad, I got mad, they punished me, I retaliated, they punished me more, I pushed harder, so did they. We fought every day over every little thing. After a couple of years of this, it got to the point where the cops had to come over a couple times a week to pull us apart, and I loved that, because sometimes it meant I could spend the night in a cell rather than at home. Some of the best rest I got back then was behind bars. Eventually I turned 18, moved to the other side of the country without giving them an address, and just generally cut them out of my life. Oh, stop looking all sad. That was the best decision I've ever made.”
“But family-”
“No,” Mag said firmly. “You don't know how ugly it got. You don't know how it felt. Trust me. By the time I left, they were every bit as done with me as I was with them. I think they moved out right after I did, to make sure I couldn't ever come back. This is not one of those stories that ends in a tearful reunion where everyone forgives everyone else. Will you stop looking at me like that? They didn't want a daughter, they wanted a doll that just did what she was told. And worse, they were a bunch of hypocrites. They broke the same rules they told me to obey, they promised things and then didn't do them. I think it was the car thing that became the point of no return. I wasn't really interested in getting a driving licence because I couldn't afford to buy a car; but of course a 'normal' daughter should have a driving licence, right? So they lied about me being able to use the family car if I got my license. What's they say? You can't pick your family but you can pick your friends? Well that's true."
Celestia looked away, but her eyes didn't change.
“Sorry,” said Mag."What was cannot be changed, the past stays being the past. Was I stupid? Yes but I was just a kid. Were they horrible liars, hypocrites and awful parents? Hell yes. But I can pick my friends and I picked you and that has made things better, thank you Celestia."
Celestia sighed. “I have seen families like that. There are few things I loathe more than the estrangement of a family member, but I understand that sometimes there's no other option. It also saddens me that I seem to be your only friend."
The pony Goddess then looked at Mag again. “You heard what the Eldest said to me about my sister, I believe.”
“I remember.” Mag said.
“First, I'd like to say that both my actions and my motivations were completely different from his. The Eldest's comparison doesn't apply in the slightest.”
Mag threw the Slim Jim wrapper at the trash can and missed. “You don't even have to say it. I could tell that that was just him being horrible. God, he's so horrible. What is wrong with that guy? Well besides... okay I know what's wrong with him. I wish I didn't, it would make it easier. I could just hate him without feeling sorry for him."
The wrapper floated the rest of the way into the trash. Mag really had to start learning magic any time soon.
“Because of what he did, because he is incomplete, because of his guilt... That alone would be enough to drive even a Regent insane. But besides that he sees everything in this realm, the past, the present, all possible futures, and every inch of your entire world in each of those contexts. We all take our cues from our environment, and the Eldest's environment as he sees it bears little resemblance to what you or I would recognize as reality. Without his other half to keep the balance, I am amazed that he just didn't decide to end it all by now. Maybe is because of me. What he wants me to do in this broken world I don't know. I can't fix it, I can't give his brother back, I can't give him something to fill the void. And I can't go around fixing this planet problems because that's not my job, is his. I can help some people but I can't help everyone."
Celestia sounded sad at saying that, she was a doer, she did things and being unable to do something to help wasn't something she liked.
"I've met people with brain problems before and not the kind of weirdness insanity I have. You know, people who hear voices and believe weird things. Schizophrenic, that's the word. They weren't like him. Mostly they just seemed scared, and I walked away wishing they didn't have to feel like that. The Eldest wasn't scared. He was a di- a jerk the entire time, and on purpose. He liked it when we got mad and he laughed when I freaked out. And the sadness, the sadness I saw on his eyes when you asked if there was a posible timeline were humans had free will without him having to become a mudererer. And the guilt, so much guilt... You know what, no. I'm done thinking about him. It's just too horrible and depressing. What were you saying about your sister?”
“Let's walk down to the lake as I talk,” said Celestia. “I would like to use it again to travel the worlds, as it's easier to use a reflective surface I've passed through before. The trip to Equestria shouldn't take too long now that I know where this world is in relation to mine, so, with luck, we'll be back by lunch. Are you ready to go, or would you like to rest a bit more?”
“I'm ready.” Mag picked up her purse and walked around the counter.
“It's beautiful here,” said Celestia, looking up at the sun through the pine needles.
“Yeah, I like the mountains better than the city. I lived there a couple months and it was terrible.”
“Was that city so bad?”
“Is a huge city about a hundred miles to the west. It's full of smog and people and there's nowhere to park. And humans need space to park because we have lots of cars. And because there is so many people there is also a lot of crime."
Celestia gazed west. “A pessimistic answer, but I'd like to see one of your cities.”
“You were going to tell a story.” Mag reminded her.
“Yes, while we walk. Shall we?”
Mag led Celestia down a steep dirt path. At first it was just wide enough for one person, so that Celestia had to follow behind Mag, but it opened up and leveled out after a couple of twists in the trail, letting them walk side by side.
“Can anyone see us, do you think?” said Celestia.
“Well, this trail isn't exactly remote, but I can't see any houses, and I don't think there are that many people who would know about a rough little path that goes from the edge of the less popular side of the lake to the back of a convenience store. And once your disguise is gone they will just ignore you and think I am just talking alone "
Celestia let the disguise slip away and breathed deep. “Much better.”
It was hard for Mag to forget that Celestia was a pony unicorn goddess. As a human she was regal but also wonderful and even in what Mag had called the "Mag's ideal mother' disguise there was still something extraordinary there. Only it was well hidden and Mag could only see it because she knew were to look. She wondered how many people who had seen Mag and Celestia in disguise thought they were dating and why did so many people thought Mag was a lesbian. It was the clothes and the fact she didn't care that much about how she looked, wasn't it? How sexist of them.
There was also that sence of pressure when Celestia forgot to dial back her aura of power, but Mag was learning how to deal with it. But then, just when you got used to being around her, she did or said something that reminded you just how old and powerful the winged unicorn goddess of the little ponies was.
And then Mag felt the need to just expend hours brushing the beautiful goddess mane but she didn't have a horse brush and didn't dare to ask... yet.
“I've stalled long enough. I owe you a story.” Celestia settled into a steady, thoughtful walking pace, the better to think and talk. “I wish I could say it started with the parasite, but really, it started because she was alone. Luna is,was, is the princess of the night. She plays other roles as well, but what's important is that she always performed them at night, and our ponies have always slept through the night. Most of them are afraid of the dark, and the dark is what she is. There was no one for her to talk to and no one to vent at. And I did nothing, because I didn't understand what I was seeing in her. People should not be alone in life, Mag.” She gave Mag a meaningful glance.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Tell you what, the next human who can see your true form, and the Eldest doesn't count, he or she gets a free chocolate bar from me. Happy?"
“Yes, is a start. Where was I? Right. Now, there is a kind of creature that preys on sentient beings. There's no proper name for it, but it's essentially a conceptual parasite. Each one is different, with different methods of predation and consumption. The one I am speaking of now, which some call Nightmare, preyed on loneliness by fostering jealousy and then making an offer of power in exchange for a say in the host's decisions. After convincing the host she had no one to care for and the only recourse was to punish the world, the parasite would make its sales pitch. If the host accepted the deal, she would find herself steadily growing in magical strength while losing progressively more control over her actions. Eventually she would have all the power in the world, and all the volition of a marionette.”
“'She,' you keep saying. Did it only prey on women?” said Mag.
“I'm not sure. I never allowed it to spread. I only say 'she' because its host was my sister.”
Mag winced. She could see where this was going. “What did you have to do?”
“I couldn't separate them, and someone like Luna is capable of immense destruction even without the parasite. I wanted to search for a way to cure her, but she forced my hoof by not allowing the sun to rise. I fought her, and imprisoned both her and the parasite inside the moon for a thousand years in the hope that I could come up with a plan before her return.”
“And did you? Come up with a plan, I mean?”
“I did. There are greater powers than I, and she and I used to have limited access to one of them, or perhaps I should say six of them. The Elements of Harmony, they're called. Have you heard the expression 'Omnia vincit amor?'”
Mag scratched the back of her neck in thought. “'Everything,' uh, something, 'love?' Is that 'Love conquers all?' I've heard that. I think someone wrote that in Ancient Greece.”
“That may be where I came across it,” said Celestia.
“I always liked 'Love is as strong as death' better. Love is cool and all, but since when does love beat death? Everything dies. Death always wins in the end. It's like playing rock-paper-scissors-black hole.”
“Perhaps,” said Celestia.
“You used love to beat the demon?”
“I wouldn't use the word 'demon,'” said Celestia. “It's too dignified. It gives the parasite credit that it doesn't deserve. But yes, you could say that. I passed the Elements Of Harmony into the care of six loving ponies. Individually the elements represented virtues, and the ponies lived lives devoted to, well, not always to the demonstration of that virtue, but certainly lives devoted to contemplating what it meant to be generous, kind, loyal, honest and... laughter? And the sixth one, that one was magic. And magic was... not only about magic but about friendship in general. Together the elements and their ponies were a force of Harmony and Friendship. They defeated Luna and the Nightmare at the height of their strength, and, when the six new bearers wielded the elements, they destroyed the Nightmare entirely. So, yes, I would say the 'demon' was defeated with love and friendship and a rainbow of happiness."
"That would totally fit in a cartoon for little girls. Remember to make you watch Sailor Moon later. So, the demon that wasn't a demon?” said Mag.
“Just so.”
“Could you tell me more about those virtues? Which ones did you get, when you and Luna found them? Or could you both use all six if you wanted?”
“They divided themselves between us,” said Celestia. “ As for my elements, it hardly matters now, I suppose, but I had the elements of kindness, laughter, and generosity. She got loyalty, honesty, and magic. Neither of us really exemplified any of those traits, in hindsight, but I also think our ability to live those ideals was less important than the role they've played in our respective lives, just like the new bearers.” Celestia's face twisted with loss. “A student of mine became the element of magic. She would send me weekly letters on what she had recently learned about friendship, and those letters taught me to love them all. Skies and stars, I miss them so much.”
Mag laid her hand on Celestia's back then started to rub it moving her hand in circles.
“What are their names?”
“Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle.”
Then Celestia said suspiciously, “Is something wrong?”
“No, no, nothing, they're wonderful names,” said Mag. She should have known what to expect, really. This was not a good time to laugh. This was not a good time to laugh. It was vitally important that she not laugh.
“Oh, get it out of your system before you hurt yourself.”
Mag gave up and cackled. “I'm sorry! I can't help it. Your world is pure cane sugar. 'Good morning, Fluttershy!' 'Top of the mornin' to you, Twilight Sparkle.'” The laughter faded and all she was left with was confusion. “What I don't get is how something like your world can be real. In your world, ponies control the weather by pushing clouds around with what, flying steam shovels? Meanwhile, in my world, we have the plague.”
“Don't forget that we also had things like the Nightmare,” said Celestia. “You have computers. You have this forest. And, for all your studied cynicism, you're still willing to concede that love is as strong as death. Where did you learn that, if not in a worthwhile world?”
“You're getting preachier by the second. The lake is close, by the way.”
“I can smell the water, there is even something different about it.” said Celestia.
“I come down here on my lunch hour once or twice a week. The lake has a good smell to it and what do you mean by different?”
Celestia smiled. “It does, doesn't it? And by different I mean that it smells of magic, I didn't notice it before but it wasn't until we left the lake that I noticed how little magic this world has."
The lake came into view, with its bottle green water and tall grass growing along the shore. It was nearing noon. There were no clouds, and the reflection of the sun burned gold on the water. Celestia had said the lake had magic, was that why she loved the place while others tended to ignore it?
“I'm sorry,” said Mag. “I wish I hadn't laughed at your friends' names.”
Celestia turned her nose up theatrically. “It's a nice day, so I'll forgive you if you admit that 'Mag' is a sillier name than the ones you laughed at.”
Mag crossed her arms. “Never. 'Mag' is a completely reasonable name, unlike 'Princess Celestia,' the strangest nonfictional name I've ever heard.”
"Insolence. But I need your help, so this bulrush shall take the punishment in your stead." Celestia bit the head off a nearby cattail crunching it vindictively.
Mag rolled her eyes. "Consider me chastised. Do you feel better now?"
"Yes, it helped."
"Okay if you get me a brush I can brush your back." There, she had said it.
"It would be pointless, we are about to jump in a lake."
"Later then. Oh and one more thing, why did you even bother to look human if you were going to use magic while doing so?" Mag looked at Celestia beautiful eyes and the goddess smiled.
"I hoped to catch the local magic users interest."
"Okay." It wasn't okay because Mag didn't want to share her unicorn, but it was okay because she wanted to make her unicorn happy.
Author's Note
Comments are one of the few things making me continue with the rewrite. In case you guys didn't notice I made the Eldest more pathetic and pitiful while still keeping him as an asshole. Mag sees Celestia as both her new mother and as her unicorn. Celestia has taken a liking to Mag. That's both because of how different they are. Mag is more honest about Celestia because Celestia isn't human. Celestia lets herself be distracted and consoled by Mag because Mag is not one of her little ponies. Sure they are still not being completely honest with each other, but so far both are better together than they were alone.
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring." - Oscar Wilde
The Epigrams of Oscar Wilde, 1952 book by Alvin Redman.
Watching someone open a path between dimensions should have been interesting. It wasn't. But then Celestia never said that it was going to be fun to watch. Magic was probably like everything else, in that not every part of it made for a good show.
Mag the human sat on the grass a few feet from the back with her forearms resting on her knees. “How long does this usually take again? I mean I get it, is not pulling a rabbit out a hat, but I am bored."
Celestia stood in the water up to a little above her fetlocks, staring intently down at her own reflection. “As I've said twice already, it takes as long as it takes. And if you wanted me to serve as entertainment, you could have at least asked first."
Mag dug through her purse for something to do. “I'm more looking for a status update, here. And yes I am being annoying, sorry about that. And my phone is dead because I forgot to charge the battery, just great."
“The status is that I haven't seen a frayed edge yet, and my friend keeps distracting me. The status was the same last time you asked how long this is going to take, and the status will be the same the next time you ask. And I am sorry for your loss, was the phone your pet?"
“Frayed edge? And no my phone is just a machine and the power source needs recharging."
“No reflection is perfect. Look for the tiny inconsistencies between the reflection and the world it reflects, and you've found the frayed edge. And I am glad to heard that, it would not be the first time somepony... someone pet died because I was distracting them." Celestia had relaxed as she spoke. She seemed to like teaching.
Mag pointed. “The water is rippling and it makes you look goofy. There, an inconsistency.”
“Inconsistencies, not imperfections in the reflective surface. A hair of my mane in the wrong place. A cloud that's too far to the southeast. A faint light or distant face. Have you ever seen something strange in a mirror out of the corner of your eye? That was the frayed edge of reality.”
“Because I'd entered... The Twilight Zone,” said Mag dramatically. “Do they have TV in Equestria? No, probably not, because you didn't compare my computer to a television. But do you have film? Moving pictures?”
“Projected moving pictures, and we call them movies.” said Celestia. She hadn't blinked since she'd started.
“Cool,” said Mag. “I should show you Youtube when we get back. We can do a Twilight Zone marathon. Oh and Sailor Moon for the whole power of love thing. Hey, have you considered trying to surprise your reflection by doing something it wouldn't expect?”
“Yes. Most dimension travelers try that at some point. It doesn't work, unfortuna-there!” Celestia plunged her head into the water. The water didn't splash, and the waves of the lake passed through her neck as if it weren't there.
“Weird. What now?”
Celestia flicked her tail.
“What's that mean?”
Celestia flicked her tail again, more insistently, Mag felt like an idiot.
Mag got up. “You want me to follow you? Sure.” She stepped offshore and her shoes filled up with near-freezing water. “Blah! You couldn't have mentioned how cold this was?”
Celestia flicked her tail once again.
“Okay, sorry. How about this? If I'm supposed to grab your tail and hold into it, flick your tail twice."
Celestia flicked her tail twice. Mag moved until the tail was next to her hand and the human grabbed it firmly.
Then Celestia stepped forward and Mag followed her into deeper, colder water. Celestia's white back tilted as if she were going sharply downhill and then disappeared under the water. Mag took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
The cold was hellish. Mag wondered for a few painful moments whether Celestia was who she said she was, or if Mag had in fact fallen for the schemes of a kelpie with extremely circuitous hunting methods. Then she remembered what she and Celestia had been doing since they meet and felt that no kelpie would act so nice or cry on her shoulders, or mother her.
Then there was light, followed by the vertigo that naturally came with gravity suddenly moving 90 degrees. Mag fell into warm grass and curled into a ball around her waterlogged purse.
“C-c-cold.” said Mag.
Celestia stood above her. “I beg your pardon for not warning you. I also wish I'd told you what to do next after I saw the edge, but we worked it out, so things turned out all right. Here, this should help.” Celestia's horn glowed.
Mag pulled herself halfway up, staggered a few feet away from the water, and dropped back down into a ball.
“Still cold?” Celestia's horn glowed again and the air warmed around them.
Eventually Mag uncurled herself and opened her eyes. She lay on a grassy hill under an overcast sky of goldenrod clouds. Door-sized standing mirrors littered the hill, one every few yards in every direction, all of them unassumingly reflecting the grass and sky. Every mirror was framed and every frame was different. Celestia lay next to her on her belly, watching and waiting. A slow, dry breeze drifted down the hill.
“Better?” said Celestia.
“My phone is probably done for and I just soaked most of a pack of cigarettes, but other than that, yeah, then again one shouldn't travel with things one doesn't want to get destroyed or lost." Mag examined the mirror they'd come through and was disappointed to discover that for the most part it was just a mirror. It reflected Mag back at herself. She saw her brown hair in a ponytail, thin lips and how she was slouching a bit, while standing in the grass, with Celestia behind. Her reflection did nothing untoward so far as Mag could see, blinking as she blinked and shifting as she shifted.
The frame of the mirror was a point of interest, at least. Persons unknown had carved words and phrases into the wood in a variety of languages. Mag recognized some of the languages, but some were more alien. Some were impossible. One, a chain of interlocking hexagons with each link filled with blobby shapes, seemed to have altered slightly every time Mag glanced back at it. One was in French. None were in English.
Mag looked at Celestia in the mirror. “Where do these come from? What do they mean?”
“Travelers will sometimes leave notes on mirrors for each other. Small pieces of advice. Attempts to characterize the inhabitants.” Celestia pointed at the hexagons. “'The people of thirst.'” Then, at the French sentence. “'Enter in peace, but at arms.'” At a vertical column of shallow, serpentine scratches. “'The hollow lords.'” At a pair of pictograms so old that the breeze had eroded them as smooth as if they'd been sanded. “'Save them.'”
Mag traced those last words with her finger. They were the oldest message there.
Celestia approached. “This is the Valley of Mirrors. There are other places a reflection might lead to, but most lead here. It's the safest In-Between I know of for mortal travelers, but don't let your guard down. I only mean it's safer than, say, the Gray Sea or the Walled Path, and that isn't a difficult hurdle.”
“What should I look out for?”
“Other travelers, or things you don't understand.”
“I don't understand anything here,” said Mag.
“Then stay close and keep asking questions,” said Celestia.
Mag moved in close. “What's at the bottom of the valley?”
“A lake.” said Celestia.
“Does the lake have a reflection?”
“Yes, and the world it leads to is used as a kind of quarantine zone for dangerous artifacts,” said Celestia.
“Let me guess. No touchy?”
The corner of Celestia's mouth twitched. “Yes, no touchy. In fact, let that be your mantra so long as we're out of your world. When in doubt, no touchy.”
“Cool. So, just to confirm, I'm completely and utterly out of my depth here, right?”
“You have no idea,” said Celestia. “Shall we?”
“Yeah, I'm starting to think we shouldn't screw around.” said Mag.
“Then you're paying attention. Now that you're ready, we're going to teleport.”
Mag stepped back. “What?”
“Equestria is a great distance away, and we didn't bring food, drink, or supplies of any kind. Walking isn't feasible.”
“Teleporting? Is it safe? With me being a squishy mortal and that.”
“It's almost perfectly safe,” said Celestia.
“How do you know? How does it work? And why is almost perfectly safe and not perfectly safe?"
“I know it's almost perfectly safe because some ponies can teleport if they work hard enough at it, and nopony has ever been hurt in transit,” said Celestia. “As for how it works, understanding it even in layman's terms would require you to have more senses than you seem to. Simply put, it's magic. I'll cast a spell that takes us from one location to another without our having to pass through the intervening space. And Mag nothing at all is a 100% safe. Even less when mortals go outside their own Realms and Regents aren't in the safety of their own worlds. But it was your choice to put yourself at risk, wasn't it?"
“Okay, yeah I am a risk taking moron. But how does it work? Does it break us down into particles, whizz us off to where we're going, and then put us back together? Or does it make a copy of us and then delete the original?"
“No, it leaves the teleporting object or person intact. It's painless and instantaneous. There are no risks save in very rare instances. I may be out my realm but I am still a Regent with a lot of experience teleporting. Is as safe as it can be."
“I don't-” then Mag realized what Celestia had just said and nearly collapsed with laughter. “'Nopony?' Seriously? Well you said anypony before but..."
Celestia frowned. “Is there a problem?”
Mag covered her grin with her hand.
First they were somewhere, and then they were somewhere else. It was as simple as that.
“My world.” said Celestia, she did not sound enthused. Then again why would she? All that was left of her home was basically a grave.
This part of the valley looked more or less the same, right down to the positioning of the nearby mirrors, except for two things. Firstly, the slope of the hill had pitched a few degrees. Secondly, the mirror they now stood in front of didn't reflect the valley. Instead it showed an endless, starless night. The wooden frame was carved with new and different messages. This time, one was in English: “The beloved.” Mag didn't ask about the rest.
“After I cast a few spells on you, this will likely be the least dangerous part of the trip. There is nothing left to hurt you, after all.” Celestia tried to smile and failed.
“This one will let you breathe.” Her horn glowed and something like a yellowish soap bubble appeared around Mag's head. “This will protect against the lack of air pressure, which, believe me, is far more important than it sounds.” The glow continued. Something almost but not quite like cloth wrapped itself snugly around Mag's hands and clothes.
“A space suit?” said Mag, looking at the cloth closely.
“A fan of speculative fiction, I see.” said Celestia.
Mag smirked. “Guess again. Humans have gone to space a bunch of times. We've even landed on our moon. And landed machines on other planets.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “You're joking again.”
“We have video... movie evidence. I'll show you later. And if that's not enough there are many people you could talk with about that. Save perhaps some crazies that think the moon landing was faked. But we have a space station with people, and that's way harder to do that go to the moon and back."
Celestia studied Mag's face. Her other eyebrow lifted to make a matching pair with the first. “You're serious. Then again I once visited a realm were the natives had colonies in several planets. But it was way more advanced that Earth. I couldn't stay long even with the local Regent help, they had so little magic that it was literally killing me."
“Ha! Yeah, it's awesome. We totally went to the moon, hopped around a bit, planted a flag, drove a little golf cart thing, tossed a ball back and forth, and went back home. When we all finally kill each other and there's nothing left but the roaches, there'll still be that flag on the moon. And the space station, well before it falls back to Earth or something. And how could the local Regent survive there if you couldn't?"
Celestia rested a hoof on her cheek. “My word.” She said it with no irony at all. Then sticked her tongue out and licked Mag face.
"Gross, why did you do that? And are you going to answer my question about that Regent?"
"Minor blessing, and Regents live as long as their world does and can change as their world changes. That Regent had basically become a kind of machine so advanced that might as well be magic even if it wasn't."
“So... about the moon landing, it happened because my country got into a space race with another country called the USSR because of a rivalry about economic principles. It's a long story. While the space station is... complicated. Basically is international but there used to be one before that... I think? I should look about that when we get back to my world."
“And now I want to see a few of your history books.” said Celestia. She glanced at the black mirror. The light died in her eyes again."And maybe see your planet from space, too bad the people in that space station won't see me. I am quite sure I would be a very interesting sight."
Mag clapped her hands. “Come on. We get this over with, we go home, you run your tests, and then it's movie night. And then I will see if I can get you into Sailor Moon. ”
Celestia bowed her head and clenched her eyes shut. Mag hesitated, then laid a hand on Celestia's neck. Right, her world was gone and no joking was gonna get it back.
“This isn't going to take that long, right?” said Mag.
“No.” said Celestia quietly.
“And it'll help you get them back?”
“Well... whenever you're ready.” said Mag.
Celestia opened her eyes. She looked paler than usual, if that was possible, but determined. “Yes, of course it's possible. This has to be done. I have one more spell, and then, I'm sorry, but you'd better climb on my back again.”
Some tiny yet growing part of Mag's soul, the part that wanted to be a flying unicorn, kept insisting that riding on Celestia's back was the bestest thing to ever happen to her and she should take every opportunity to repeat the experience.
The rest of her dreaded it. Celestia was too small to ride comfortably, wasn't wearing a saddle, and didn't have anything Mag could really hang onto. If there was a way to do it that didn't end in pain, Mag hadn't found it.
Then again, unicorn, so totally worth it. No pain no gain.
“That's fine ” sighed Mag.
“Or I could try riding on your shoulders.” said Celestia.
“You joke, but I'll bet it'd be about as pleasant either way. Unless you made yourself smaller and lighter?"
“We can experiment later. Now, as you said, let's get this over with. The last spell changes how gravity affects you. Here you are.”
Celestia's horn flared one more time. Mag didn't feel any different until she lifted her arm, at which point she floated slowly upward.
Mag flailed. “Ah! What? Save me!”
Celestia grabbed Mag with her magic, sat her down on her back, and held her in place. “Your science hasn't found a way to do that, I take it. It's a small safety measure, in case you slip away from me. Now gravity will pull you to the nearest object as if that object were solid ground, regardless of that object's size, and, instead of pulling you harder as you get closer, it'll do the reverse. There should also be an effect that slows you down as you approach something, so you shouldn't be able to accelerate enough to harm yourself even if you somehow end up a thousand miles away from the nearest object.”
“You're surprisingly well prepared.”
“I once had another student who was fascinated with the idea of space. Starswirl extensively studied the nature of gravity and how magic interacted with it. He never made it to space, but he truly believed somepony would someday, and he did reams upon reams of original spellwork to ensure that ponykind was prepared.”
“And so you are,” said Mag.
“Yes. Although since I am a Regent I did go to space, since in my own Realm I don't even need spells to do that. Of course only my sister knew because going to space was something my little ponies should be able to do on their own. Ah, one more thing: we unfortunately won't be able to speak without air.”
Mag was quite sure Celestia had some kind of spell to talk mind to mind, but she still remembered how tired Celestia had been; so she said nothing.
“I know,” said Mag. “Do you think I can leave my purse here?”
“Without it being stolen, do you mean? I wouldn't worry. Travelers aren't so common, and they would likely be too cautious to touch an unfamiliar object in this place.”
Mag leaned over as well as she could from Celestia's back and let go of her purse. The gravity spell hadn't affected it, so it dropped to the ground. “No big deal if it rains, since it's already full of lake water. Okay, I'm good.”
“Then off we go.”
Celestia stepped into the mirror.
Mag realized Celestia hadn't moved. She floated in place, wings and legs slack. Mag couldn't say anything to her, so she leaned forward and hugged her as best she could, the bubble around Mag's head distorting enough to let Mag lay her brow in Celestia's mane. Celestia seemed to understand and raised her head, flapping her wings once. Where were they going? Celestia had said something about samples, but hadn't given any further details.
Now Celestia had gone and Mag floated alone in the cold black nothing. She touched the head-bubble and found it to be intact. The spells were holding. When had Celestia left? Mag must have fallen asleep. Maybe Celestia had not tried any telepathy spell so Mag wouldn't read the pony goddess crying inside.
She supposed she should be afraid, but it was so peaceful now and there was that lick that was minor blessing. This was also Celestia's universe, even if it was dead, so how much safer could you be than in an universe were the local Regent mothered you?
For the first time in nearly a day the pressure in Mag's head was gone. She hadn't realized how heavy it had gotten, now Celestia was gone and there was no one but herself. She didn't blame the goddess, she probably had forgot how much of a frail mortal Mag was, and so had keep the presure to something a mortal magic being felt no discomfort at all. The problem was, Mag wasn't able to see or use magic.
Still, there was nothing left to worry about. No responsibilities, no one to speak to her, no one to upset or disappoint, nothing to clean because this was the cleanest place in all the worlds. When had she last felt this calm? Tuesday night in the town jail a few days after her 17th birthday. No, one of the guards had tried to strike up a conversation that night and wouldn't go away, and then someone in the drunk tank had moaned the entire night. At home on the weekend with nowhere to be? No, there was always, always something that needed doing, just one more thing, and then another. Had it been... never?
Wrong.
It had been the first time Celestia had given her a hug. Mag raged against that small part of her brain that nagged her to not think of Celestia, to try to ignore her.
Then another very stupid part of herseft was scared. Scared that Celestia wouldn't find her, scared that Celestia had lost her. That maybe the dark had eaten Celestia just as it had eaten her world. If that had happened, would her spells still work?
Mag remembered that blessing and touched her face, it helped a bit.
Celestia was everything she shouldn't believe in if she was a non crazy human. She was meaning and purpose, understanding, selflessness. There was that set of touchingly unrealistic moral principles that, so far as Mag knew, she had held throughout all her interminable life.
'Yes, is only reasonable that she has faded away and will never come back. The only puzzle is how someone, ha, “somepony” can last so long, how the real world can tolerate someone like that. And I will die here, of course. Is probably her own fault. But Celestia isn't here to grieve over it, so it isn't so bad, right?'
Mag slapped herseft, she could swear the sound of the slap sounded all over the universe, but that made no sense.
“Who goes there?”
Mag flinched, that wasn't Celestia.
“You have wandered far from your proper place, mortal.”
Mag looked around, but saw no lights.
“Where are you and how are you talking?” And what had she been thinking a moment ago? Suddenly it seemed so pointlessly maudlin and she was glad that her face hurt due to some reason. And surely Celestia was all right. Right? She was a Regent in her own world, of course she was right.
"I am nowhere, anymore."
“Really? Because if I can hear you, and the only thing I can hear is my thoughts, then it seems like you're in my head. That's not nowhere.”
“It matters not. Now identify yourself. What manner of creature are you, and why do you trespass here?”
“My name is Mag and I am a human..” Acting on a hunch, she added, “I'm here with your sister, princess Celestia, she who misses you very much."
Ah, yes. Now there was a new aura pressing close. It wasn't so unlike Celestia's, with that same sense of silent song. This one made her think of music boxes. There were differences, however. Celestia's aura was overwhelming; her sister's was hypnotic and comparatively subtle. What was her name again?
“DO NOT MOCK ME. My sister and all my world has gone. I swear upon the memory of the stars that I will fill thee with a lifetime of waking nightmares if-”
“No, seriously,” said Mag. “She's fine. I don't know where she is right this second, but I think she's somewhere in Equestria collecting samples. She's going to die of happiness when she sees you. And besides if you survived why couldn't she?"
A pause. "My sister is truly alive?"
“Yeah, can you find her somehow? And bring me with you. She probably wants me back, and I want to see her face when you girls meet.”
“Truly? My sister is alive?”
“Yep,” said Mag.
"Really?"
“Yeah, can you find her?”
There was no answer.
“Don't forget me.” said Mag.
“Alive.” said Celestia's sister damply. "She's alive? She's alive! She's alive! And the others?"
“We're, uh, well, we're working on that one.” said Mag. "But at least you two will be together again."
“Sadly; there is nothing left of me but a dream, and you and I wouldn't even be able to speak if I hadn't caused you to sleep. Yet you've changed the flavor of my confinement with this news of my sister, and for that I thank you. You say your name is Mag? I shall remember it.”
“What, you're giving up? Let's work this out. We can get you out of here, I'll bet. Can you hitch a ride in my brain somehow?” Having a goddess inside her brain was probably gonna cause trouble but for Mag Celestia was her best friend and almost mother, so she was willing to risk it.
“Yes, I believe I could, but what then? Will you carry me around in your head for the rest of your life? I myself have been possessed in the past, and I have no wish to visit that experience on any other being, however willing.”
A noble thought but Mag was not gonna let her go just like that. Celestia could end like the Eldest if she didn't get her sister back.
“You think I'm going to leave you here? No way in tbe seven hells! Do you really want me to wake up and tell your sister I found you and then didn't do anything about it? What do you think she'd say?”
“She would tell you that you chose correctly, and that she is overjoyed to learn that I still live in some poor capacity. She will no doubt find a safe place for you, then come to visit me.”
Mag crossed her arms. “I've been arguing with gods all day and I've won every time so far. Give up and hop into my brain. Pretty please?"
“I'll not play into the self-annihilating impulses of some petulant human. I need simply wait for you to awaken, and our disagreement shall end.”
“Oh, so you know what humans are?”
“Yes, I do recall that my sister once told me of a distant world housing a species of plains apes in the rough shape of chimpanzees, but elongated in the same way the giraffe is an elongated goat. Warriors, she called you, and slavers. She praised your invention and adaptability but ultimately advised a policy of avoidance. Now I see your mind, and, in all candor, I have as little wish to dwell in the dreams of a human as I do to impose myself on the psyche of another.”
“You can read my mind?”
“Read it? We are in it. All that you see here is what you brought with you.”
Mag looked around. “Yeah, well, I can't see anything, unless that's what you're getting at, in which case that's an impressively dramatic thing to say. But I'm still right.”
No; there wasn't a pink unicorn dancing, don't be silly. Could Luna see it? Mag barely could, actually she couldn't because there was not a pink unicorn dancing, okay?
“Let us say you are, what do you propose to do about it?” said the princess, amused.
“Bicker about it until you agree. Also don't think about a pink unicorn dancing.”
“Then do continue making your argument. I shall simply wait.. what did you say-”
Mag woke up. She lay in the tall grass again under the yellow clouds, and Celestia was shaking her.
“Mag! Mag! What happened?”
“Your sister is still alive,” Mag muttered. God, it was bright here.
Celestia gasped.
“You're all right. Oh, thank the sun and moon, you're all right. I don't know what I would have done if I'd led you to your death. What did you say?”
Mag's mouth opened without her permission and said, “I'm alive, big sister.”
It was her own voice, but the intonations and pronunciations were different. It made her sound sexy, Mag didn't know what to think about that.
Celestia's face was paralysed like it was a picture. She probably didn't know what to say or do.
“Ooh, I win after all,” said Mag in her own voice. “What's up, other princess? Did you change your mind?”
Now the other princess spoke in her head. “No, but it appears I never had a choice in the matter. You have indeed won, but only by default. And it now occurs to me that, though I am an unwilling guest, it is wrong to hijack the use of your voice without your permission. Human, may I speak with my sister for a little while?”[i/]
'Of course you can' Mag thought to the princess.
“Hello? Can you hear me?” asked the other princess in Mag's head.
“Oh, I thought you'd be able to hear my thoughts,” said Mag. “Yeah, go ahead.”
Having someone else use her mouth was by far the strangest thing Mag's had ever felt.
“I am all right, sister, and I'm overjoyed to see you. I thought I was all that remained of Equestria.”
Celestia shook off her astonishment and said, “What happened? How are you doing this? I miss your face, Luna. Where are you?”
“Alas, all that's left of me is my dreaming self, which this human now holds in her mind, and we must be content with that. As for what happened to Equis, I know nothing except what I witnessed from the edge of dreams.”
“I remember that you were asleep,” said Celestia. “Maybe that's how you survived. Did you find other dreamers after the world ended?”
“No, only the formless, gray remains of ourn realm Dreamland, and I was alone there until I found the dreams of this mortal, the contents of which I will not describe to anyone, human Mag, so you needn't fear for your privacy.” said Luna.
“Thanks,” said Mag. “Good, I can take my mouth back whenever I need it. Hey, you know, you were worried, but I'm feeling okay with this so far. Anyway, don't mind me. You guys keep talking.”
'Yes Mag, don't show the pony goddess how scared you are.'
“I promise you the novelty will wear thin,” said Luna with mere thoughts.
It seemed unfair that Luna could talk to Mag silently while Mag had to speak.
“I shall do whatever I can to make this less difficult, but I think a time will come when we each regret today.”
“I didn't anticipate this at all,” said Celestia. “Mag, are you sure you're all right?”
'I don't know, does this mean Celestia is my sister now?'
“I think I am. I don't feel different or anything. A question, did this happen because I wanted it to?”
Luna answered Mag out loud, again speaking with Mag's own mouth. “No. This is a phenomenon caused by the freak intersection of forces, and however this happened, I can't imagine that our wishes played a part. Mine certainly didn't. Unless you have some sovereignty over dreams?”
“Nope, I never even remember my dreams. Well, at least that means it's no one's fault if this all turns tragic somehow.” said Mag.
'I do remember the dancing pink unicorn, does it mean anything?'
“No one's fault, and yet our responsibility to prevent.” said Celestia.
“I concur. Take this seriously, Mag.”
Mag picked up her sopping purse and threw it at the back of another mirror. It bounced off with a slapping noise and spilled wet change into the grass.
“Take this seriously? How? I'm permanently brain-pregnant with an extradimensional horse queen of the night.”
“Pony, or use the term equine if you want.
“Yeah, that.” Mag leaned her shoulder against the mirror. She banged her temple against it a couple of times, trying to bludgeon a bit of sense into things in general. It didn't work.
“You see, this kind of situation is what we in the business of apathy call 'fatal but not serious.' I mean, yeah, fine, okay. Okay. I hereby officially acknowledge that, even though I still think this is the best way Luna's situation could have worked out short of Luna spontaneously growing a body, it's true that things could get ugly if it turns out I can't handle having a god riding shotgun in my head, and I've got to be proactive in learning how to handle it. That said, you have to admit this is ridiculous. Oh and this kinda makes me part unicorn so in part is awesome."
“I wouldn't call it that,” said Celestia. "And no Mag, sharing a body with my sister spirit doesn't make you part unicorn."
“And what would you call it? Something more positive and inspirational? Please don't say 'an opportunity. And I am free to think I am part unicorn if I want to.'”
“I would call it step one and okay, you are free to think that.”
“And step two is what?”
“I don't know. Let's go and find out.” Celestia smiled encouragingly.
“You two realize, do you not, that the In-Between is not a place for giving away one's position with protracted conversation, then standing still?”
“So I'm told,” said Mag, then realised Luna had not used her mouth to talk.
Celestia raised a hoof. “You know what? I've already figured out step two. In step two, we find a way for the three of us to have a conversation without me missing every other thing my little sister says.”
“She says this isn't the place to talk about this. And really this is just her being annoying, she could use my mouth to talk if she wanted."
Celestia teleported them back to Earth's mirror instead of answering; Mag's purse landed next to her. Celestia leaned in to whisper. “Luna is right. We need to be more cautious than we were just now. As a matter of fact it would be best if we were quiet until we've returned to Earth, in case something has picked up on our presence.”
"And I was being polite, not annoying."
“Your breath smells like Doritos.” Mag whispered back.
Celestia turned to the mirror, but looked back and waved her tail near Mag's hand. Mag grabbed it.
“Keep watch.” whispered Celestia, and fixed her gaze on her own reflection.
Mag knelt to pick up her purse. “What am I watching for?” she said, quietly enough that it only reached her own ears.
“Changes in the light.” answered Luna.
“Patches of grass moving against the wind. The voices of people you know who shouldn't be here.” Said Celestia.
Mag lowered her voice a bit more. “And that clicking sound?”
Somewhere out among the mirrors there approached a complex, rhythmic, metallic clicking, like a wandering orchestra of scissors. It was impossible to tell how close it was.
[i!]“Warn Celestia.”
“Hear that?” whispered Mag.
“Yes.” whispered Celestia, but didn't move, blink, or respond further.
Mag tried moving her mouth without vocalizing at all. “Now what?” Luna didn't answer.
She tried again in a whisper of a whisper. “Now what?”
“We can only wait for Celestia to find the edge. It is too late to flee, except into a mirror. There is nothing we can do to disguise our presence from it, for the collectors can feel both of your heartbeats through the vibrations in the ground. Combat is not an option.”
“Not an option? For Celestia?” That sounded hard to believe.
“Use a softer voice human. We have attracted the attention of one creature already.”
“Mm.” That was so soft Mag could barely hear it.
“Good. Combat is not an option because, when a collector is injured, the others come. All of them.”
Defeat a goddess by numbers? That she could believe.
“Gck.”
“You grasp the situation.”
The clicks were getting distinctly louder. Mag glimpsed a tendril in the distance, a whirring chaos of struts and wires. And then Celestia stepped into the mirror. Mag clenched the tip of Celestia's tail and darted after her.
When Mag felt alive enough to talk again, she said “Tomorrow I'm going down the hill to buy a full length mirror that we can keep in the living room. We can use that from now on, instead of this ice-water freaking lake.”
“Every edge is cold, and a new path is always dangerous to pass through, but it's possible to get lucky. Perhaps you'll find a worthwhile mirror.”
That sounded like a no, Oh well.
“Mag?”
“Yeah?”
“May I borrow the rest of your body? Please, for a few minutes only. Just that.”
“Sure.”
Mag relaxed and Luna took over. Luna drew in and then let go of a shaking breath. She closed Mag's eyes, breathed deep again, smoother now, and breathed out. Then once again, in, out. Mag felt it all.
Luna tried to stand, but fell forward onto Mag's hands. “Sister,” she said.
Celestia helped her up. Luna stood straight for a bare second and then fell to her knees. She touched Celestia's shoulder and they hugged.
“We are alive.” said Luna.
“And together,” said Celestia.
“Then we are home.”
Mag lamented the fact she couldn't take a picture of this. And she was not thinking in a pink dancing unicorn, really she was not.
"Health is the greatest gift, contentment is the greatest wealth, a trusted friend is the best relative, Nibbana is the greatest bliss." - Gautama Buddha
Dhammapada, third century B.C.E book by Gautama Buddha followers to better interpret his teachings and that collect his sayings.
"And that was the first two episodes of Sailor Moon." Mag said after she, Celestia and Luna had watched said episodes in Mag's computer.
"Do you feel better about your car being gone?" Celestia have Mag a hug, she was in her "Mag mother" human like form instead of the "Disney like princess" one.
"A bit. Now let's see some of the Twilight zone episodes to change things."
"We should hunt those thieves and punish them." Luna sounded quite angry.
"Is okay my car is insured. I just... do you girls think the Eldest did this to me just because he could? Because really my car was locked and with the alarm on. I even left in a place were a policeman usually walks by. "
Celestia looked amused.
“Something funny, Sunny?”
“You look like a madwoman, arguing with yourself like that,” said Celestia.
“Then my true colors are showing. And is not like I ever said I was sane. And Luna knows all about that, right? She saw my dreams.”
"I have seen far worse.”
"Who is this Eldest you speak of? Luna asked using Mag's mouth.
"The Eldest is this world Regent... and he is not sane or complete." Celestia answered . "Now I really want to see this Twilight Zone movie serial you seem so fond of."
And so they did after that the the questions started.
“How does this computer operate?”
“'How dost this infernal machine operateth?'” said Mag in officious pseudo-British.
“I'm, like, so pointlessly obnoxious,” said Luna in bubblegum Californian.
“What light through yonder window breaks? Why, 'tis the east, and Luna shutting up is the sun!”
Silence followed.
“That's a wonderfully well-turned piece of verse, other than the break in meter in the second line,” said Celestia.
“Never mi-” Luna switched to use Mag's mouth. “Never mind our disagreement. Tell us where that line is from.”
“Shakespeare,” said Mag, “poet and playwright. Kind of a big deal, according to high school English teachers. I'll hook you guys up as soon as I can figure out a way to do it without having to sit through one of his plays myself. Oh maybe movie versions? Although it would be hard to find the good ones."
“You don't like his work?” said Celestia.
“His stuff is long, dense, archaic, and, well, the problem with inventing all the cliches is that now his work is cliched. Plus I saw like twenty different adaptations of Romeo and Juliet, one of his most famous plays, thanks to cartoons, movies and TV shows."
“But do you recall the rest of the poem? What about the part you replaced?” said Luna.
“'And Juliet is the sun.' It's a love story. I don't remember the rest of it."
"Very well. Shouldn't you do that call by now?" Celestia sounded just like the mother she wished she had.
"I don't wanna."
"Are you a coward Mag?"
"No I am not but my cell phone is dead. Let's go outside and find a pay phone. A miracle those still exist around here. Oh right, bathroom break first."
Mag went to her bathroom and locked the door then talked in a low voice hoping Celestia wouldn't her her.
“Okay, now that you're here, I have to ask,” Mag whispered to Luna. “How can she smile after what's happened? I saw her cry but then she pretends nothing happened. I don't know what to say to her. I just let her have my shoulder to cry on and tell lame jokes but... I don't think that's gonna be enough."
“Mag, I've known my sister since the beginning of our world, and even I am not always certain how to weigh the sincerity all of her smiles. So I decided long ago to not believe them. That horribly backfired so after... certain circumstances I decided to pretend I believe them all then talk to her in private when I could. Thank you for being there for my sister."
"No problem. So got any plan? Because I have been mostly winging it."
"Celestia has an honest personality, but also is more versed in being a politician that I am. So when she smiles she wishes us to believe she meant it. Tell me Mag, why do you think anypony err anybody hide their feelings?”
“Perhaps she smiles because she wishes us to smile. But that's horrible for her. By the way how are you doing?”
Luna shared head space with Mag and saw her dreams so why not let Mag know more about Luna?
“... I beg your pardon?”
“How are you doing? Everything that happened to her also happened to you, except you were stuck there. Don't answer if you don't feel like it.”
“I am in the light again with my sister. I do well enough for now. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”
“Yeah, privacy,” said Mag. “Is that a thing anymore?”
“I do have good news on that front. I have been experimenting, and am finding ways to block out each of your senses.”
“Not sure how I feel about you putting yourself in a sensory deprivation chamber.” said Mag sounding worried.
“Worry not. As I experiment I glimpse certain possibilities. For each sense of yours I block, I find another sense of my own, ones you don't appear to have access to.”
“You mean like seeing magic?”
"That I already can without blocking your senses. I am referring to senses neither of the two of you have. I am a warden of the ways, the margrave of the dreamers of Equis, and princess of the night. I have certain unique advantages.”
"Like spying on people dreams?"
"I do not spy in the dreams of others, save yours because we share the same body. My work is to help guard the dreams of my little ponies. And if we stay here longer my sister will think that you are sick."
“All right, well sorry, work on it.” Mag flushed the toiled and washed her hands. Then went outside the bathroom and closed the door.
Celestia had changed back to her real form.
Mag blinked.
"Is that a saddle? And reins?"
"I had to transmute some some broken clothes and things you had and looked like they had not been used in years, but yes."
Mag feel she was still a tad too big to ride Celestia but... how she could refuse?
So they went outside and Mag had a short pony ride until the nearest pay phone. It was too short for Mag taste.
"Mag." said Luna. "How does a car work?"
Since Maggie had not bothered to answer how a computer worked before she decided to answer instead of making the dreaded phone call.
“Basically, the engine of a car compresses gasoline vapor and then sets it on fire with a spark of electricity, the explosion pushes a piston, the piston turns the wheels, and then it does it again, and it all happens over and over again really fast. Then there's all this other junk, like fan belts and carburetors. I don't know what any of that does. You have to put gas in the car regularly, and there is a meter that tells you how much gas you have left. The car also needs oil to keep all the metal from locking up, and you have to change that out every once in a while, and there are air filters for some reason. It needs coolant sometimes, and other fluids I can't remember right now. It shoots burnt gas vapors out of a tube in the back. Sometimes it breaks down and I don't know why. Then I pay some guys to fix it and hope they don't lie to me about what they did. Or I would, If I still had a car.”
“Why not learn more so they can't lie to you?” asked Celestia.
“Because it shouldn't be my job to stop them from lying to me, because if I wandered around wondering how every single thing works then I'd never get anything done, and because I doubt I can learn enough about cars to call their bluff effectively anyway.”
“Hmm,” said Celestia.
“A disappointing answer, but it makes sense.”
“I want to drop these baskets off at the store and then I want to go home,” said Mag. “Anyone want to stop anywhere first?”
“Are the works of Shakespeare available on your Googling machine?” asked Celestia.
“I'm not going to get through today without a poetry reading, am I? Yeah, they're probably somewhere out there on the Internet. Although I really prefer if we rented one of the movies instead."
"Mag did you forget about the phone call?" Celestia said.
Mag had not, in fact she had picked the baskets just to have an excuse to delay said phone call.
"Fine, you go to give back these baskets and I do the phone call."
"Fine. But if when I get back here you still haven't done it I will be disappointed."
Mag flinched, why did it feel like disappointing Celestia was like kicking a puppy? Celestia picked the bags with her magic and walked to the store, did she remember were the store was? Of course she did.
So Mag called her boss. His name was Amitabh Bachchan (no relation), and he was alright. He didn't raise his voice, though sometimes his voice could get very urgent, something Mag had had a problem with before because his Indian accent was as pure, thick and rich as the day he'd first stepped off the plane.
Mr. Bachchan was in his sixties but looked forty, and had a sheepish, scruffy smile that had probably gotten him out of a lot of trouble over the course of his life. He had no particularly terrible flaws and Mag had always felt a little bad for dreading the sound of his voice every day. This weekend's carelessness turned out to be, yes, the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel's proverbial back. Mag would never clean that store again. He thanked her. She thanked him back. He said goodbye. So did she. He hung up.
“Yep, I am done.” said Mag to herself.
“There, there,” said Luna in a kindly but unsure voice. In a moment of emotional vertigo Mag realized this must be what it was like to be on the receiving end of her own awkward attempts to comfort Celestia for a pain she couldn't even claim to understand. She didn't know how to feel about that, so she decided to deal with the next thing. One more thing, and then she could feel better about herself.
"I want to learn magic, please teach me Luna."
"Why?
"Consider it paying rent for sharing my body and because I think magic is cool."
"Very well that's fair. From now on you will smoke one cigarette less by day that you usually do. And if I think is an emergency I will be able to take control of your body without asking, is that acceptable as a trade for teaching you magic?"
"Define emergency."
"You or my sister being at risk of death."
"Yes, that's acceptable." Mag started to walk back home.
"'Your magic and you," said Luna in a bored tone. “'In this video, we'll discuss the basics of what you can expect as you grow into your unicorn magic.' You should have your cutie mark by now—”
“Cutie mark?” asked Mag, muttered Mag, opening the door and putting her jacket in the closet next to the door. "And in case you did not notice I am not seeing the video you are talking about, not I am a pony."
Luna went right back to it, ignoring Mag. “You should have your cutie mark by now, but even if you don't, you likely have some experiences with your own magic. Maybe in ways you couldn't control! Don't worry, because that's completely normal. This movie was made to help teach you all about your growing powers.”
Mag groaned and decided to ignore the crazy goddess in her head as much as she could.
Then Celestia came back, she looked down. Mag have the equine goddess a hug.
"What happened?"
"A little girl wanted to ride my back but of course her mother wouldn't believe her about the white unicorn with wings. She ended crying."
"Ouch. Know what? Distraction! Celestia, there's a thing next to my computer with a bunch of blank paper sticking out. Please please please show me what your ponies look like while I make lunch.”
"Okay, I will do that." Celestia walked off to get the paper.
"Were was I with the video?"
"I started to ignore you after you ignored my question about cutie marks."
Celestia walked back in and placed a few sheets of paper on the counter, then left the room without speaking. The couch springs creaked.
No other sound came from the living room and Luna went quiet as well. If it weren't for the silent music of Luna's aura, Mag could almost think the world hadn't gone mad. She finished tearing the lettuce, rinsed her hands, wiped them on a towel, and picked up the papers.
"Didn't you notice something just now?"
"What?"
"My magic aura, you feel it didn't you?"
Mag then focused on the drawings.
Celestia had gone for quantity rather than detail in her drawings. Every couple of square inches had its own pony, most of them minimalistic and fluidly illustrated, almost cartoony in places. Every pony had its own little scene. In one, a pony wearing a headscarf watered a pot of daisies on a table using a little watering can. In another, a young pony clung to the shoulders of an adult pegasus in flight. In yet another, an inquisitive, snouted face stared up at the viewer with opened mouth as if asking a question. There was a row of solemn guards with brush helmets, a nubby-horned unicorn eating a sandwich, a couple sharing a milkshake. They all had big bushy tails, almost like squirrels, but deliberately styled, just like their manes. It was a calm, kind world.
"Mag!"
"Uh? Oh right your aura... well I can tell is there. But I can't see or hear it... is like... a sixth sense?"
"Fine, just keep looking at the drawings."
The last page was a little different. This was where all the detail had gone. In the top-left corner was a picture of what could only be Luna. Her eyes were stern but caring, and fathoms deep. Beneath the sketch were the words “Princess Luna.” The sketch to the right was a “Princess Twilight Sparkle and Spike the Baby Dragon.” There was something perennially young about the two, for lack of a better term. Twilight's stance, her expression, the little lizard guy on her back, the pile of books floating next to her, everything about her suggested someone who loved everything, wanted to know everything about everything, and never got tired of the world around her. Mag tried not to hate her.
And they were all gone, save for Luna and Celestia. And Mag felt like a monster for being so jealous. She continued looking.
Next were “Princess Cadance and Shining Armor.” Mag almost laughed. Now there was a power couple if Mag had ever seen one. Lord have mercy, were those two ever in love. They appeared to be getting married, which, considering they looks they were giving each other, was almost redundant.
“Pinkie Pie,” a cotton ball of joie de vivre. “Fluttershy,” wet kleenex with a rabbit. An arrogant “Rainbow Dash” that Mag immediately pegged as her favorite. “Applejack,” cowboy hat, lasso, named after an alcohol for some reason. And this “Rarity” obviously got up very early indeed every morning to get her hair like that.
Mag walked to the couch to find Celestia pretending to sleep, and leaned against the back of the couch to look down at Celestia.
“They seem fun,” said Mag.
Celestia didn't respond. Luna had nothing to say either.
“I like Rainbow Dash the best.” said Mag and started to scratch Celestia's ears.
Celestia didn't move.
“Did you get your samples?” Mag continued to scratch the pony goddess ears.
“There was almost nothing to sample,” said Celestia without opening her eyes and leaning against Mag hand. The woman continued her scratches.
“Oh. What were you planning to get?”
“A sliver of wood from a mirror frame on the inside, some sand from the walls, any ambient energy, and a wisp of aether.”
She held up a little corked bottle in her magic, not even looking at it.
“Here is that wisp. Equestria has an aether field, but it's as hollow as everything else there, now. No one has touched it since I left and it hasn't moved on its own. Nothing out of the ordinary for a dead world. As for the rest, they simply aren't there. No ambient energy, no sand, and all the mirror frames were gone.”
She smiled a nonsmile. “I'm glad you insisted on coming. After seeing all of that, I don't know if I would ever have bothered to leave.”
“That's a hell of a thing to say,” said Mag, keeping her voice conversational.
“'Hell.' Yes. A 'hell' of a thing to say.” She opened her eyes. “I've been wondering something. Should I really be so certain that a regent dies with her world? Books and my own experience tell me they do, but it's a hard thing to prove. Maybe we stay behind, like the mirrors. Maybe we count as mirrors ourselves. It makes a kind of metaphorical sense, wouldn't you say?”
Mag really wished Luna would say something, but she hadn't spoken since she told Mag to just keep looking at the drawings.
“What will you do now?” said Mag.
“I don't know,” said Celestia. “No, I do know. I'll rest until tomorrow. Then I'm going back to the lake, and then to the lake at the bottom of the valley. There are many books down there, and I'm sure there must be something useful there. It's dangerous, but what is danger to me now?”
“I'm coming, obviously,” said Mag.
“Oh.”
“Really don't like what I'm hearing from you right now, by the way.”
“No?” said Celestia.
“It doesn't help anyway,” said Mag. She walked around the couch and sat down in the same place she'd fallen asleep last night. “Nothing you say or think is going to make you feel any different. That's how it works, when you stop caring. You could get up and eat lunch or you could stay right where you are. They'll both feel pointless, so why not get up?”
“Eat lunch. I could do that. And then shall I move across the country to live in an empty house in the woods? Shall I hide my heart under the bed and reach out to no one for years on end, avoiding everything that matters to me and hoping to go numb?”
"No, because will be with you. And your sister will be there too. And we will give you hugs, and we will talk, and we will do everything we can to make you feel better, right Luna?"
Mag's mouth moved without her control "Sister, look, I got your nose!"
Mag left hand moved and touched Celestia's nose, there was a a weird sound.
BOOP!
Was... was that magic that made the sound? It was... was really stupid.
Celestia just... stared, then covered her eyes with a hoof. “I'm ashamed. That was cruel of me to say... and such a horrible joke that was Luna."
"That was the point. Now apologize to your human daughter."
Mag and Celestia stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Mag was nervous and mentality cursing Luna. Celestia seemed surprised and unsure what to do.
"Maggie... I know you felt what I said, and I'm sorry.”
"I... I can't help to look at you as my second mother. And... hugs?"
Mag have Celestia a hug, the sun goddess leaned over and hugged Mag back.
“I... I'll keep myself looking for a way to bring back mine. Thank you, Mag.”
Both of Celestia's wings were at her sides, and yet Mag felt a feather brush her shoulder.
“I don't have it in me to hope to see Equestria again, and I hold little hope for a happy ending between the three of us. But I do hope we'll grow to understand one another, human Mag... my daughter of heart. Even if I am confused how this happened.”
"Celestia... my mother of heart? How do adoptions work in Equestria." Mag face was not red as a tomato and she wasn't almost jumping out of happiness, really she wasn't.
"With lots of paperwork. But since I am one of the two rulers, just my word is enough in this case. Any objections Luna?"
Luna once more used Mag's mouth
"Not about this and congratulations on being a mother."
“For a species that needs all four legs to walk, you people are awfully huggy,” said Mag.
"Ask her about the assassin."
“Tell me about the assassin,” said Mag through a bite of sandwich.
“The what?”
"The one you talked down. Is a good story."
Emergency or not Luna was right that her taking control over Mag's body was getting annoying.
“In exchange for the sandwich and to avoid Luna jokes, I think I will.” Celestia dabbed her mouth with a cloth napkin. Mag didn't know where she'd gotten it, as the napkins on the table were paper, but there it was. Probably magic? She really wanted to learn how to use magic.
“Some few decades ago I got an unusual bit of mail. A death threat, actually, written shakily in black chalk on rough, yellowish paper. It was sealed with the crest of Canterlot University in undyed beeswax. The content of the letter went on for some time, but the core of the matter was that the anonymous author intended to kill me because he wanted to know what would happen if I died.
“The writer was clearly unwell. If nothing else, a saner stallion wouldn't have given me so many ways to identify him. It took me less than an hour and a half to find the perpetrator. He was one Professor Redwood, a stallion who taught history at Canterlot U. And to confirm that he was well known for his erratic behavior and morbid interests. Some days later he burst into my bedroom with a blunderbuss at least four times his age and demanded that I light a candle so he would know where to aim.
I refused; he might have hurt himself if I let him fire the weapon, and anyway, whatever he had loaded into the weapon was sure to damage my furniture. He said 'please,' and I offered to answer his question in exchange for his gun. He told me it wasn't a gun; it was an authentic griffin blunderbuss from the third griffo-minotauran war. I said I knew what it was, since I specifically recalled outlawing them.
He apologized for breaking the law and said he'd surrender the weapon to the guards as soon as he finished using it to kill me.
“I asked him what in the starless hells he thought he would accomplish with all this. He asked if I'd gotten the letter. I told him I had, and that I spent the day pondering his question. I told him again that I would answer his question if he gave me the authentic griffin blunderbuss from the third griffo-minotauran war.
'The one you made illegal?' 'The very same,' I said. He set the gun down next to my bed and went over to the window to sit in the yellow wicker chair I typically take my tea in, hunkering down to listen.
“I'd written down my thoughts on the matter over the past few days, then arranged the resulting collection by subject and chronology. Now I lit a candelabra and read him the highlights. First I went over the immediate concerns, such as the contents of my will and what the legal repercussions would likely be for Professor Redwood. The will didn't seem to interest him that much and he just cocked his head like a blue jay when I started to talk about criminal justice, so I skipped ahead to describe my theory that Equestria would industrialize and revert to being a full scarcity society, and to make a few remarks on how these economic circumstances would likely interact with Equestria's growing counterculture and inevitable militarization. He was enraptured, and I always enjoy an appreciative audience, so I ended up reading that entire part out loud.
After a few more pages I simply gave him the entire pile of papers and went back to sleep while he read them from the beginning. I never did get enough rest that night, though, because a maid came in a good hour before dawn and screamed for all she was worth.
Honey-Do was always very tightly wound. My door guards came in and were understandably confused, until I pointed out the fireplace in the antechamber, and, more to the point, the sooty hoofprints leading from there to my door.
The poor maid Honey-Do screamed a bit more, and the guards shouted and stomped, and eventually Redwood looked up from his reading and asked everyone to be quiet. They didn't.
Honey-Do scolded him for getting soot everywhere, which I'll confess I found cathartic, and the guards demanded to know what he was doing. The professor explained, once he could get a word in, that he'd come to kill me because he wanted to know what would happen. He apologized for the mess.
The rest of the week was thoroughly confusing for Professor Redwood, I'm afraid, but I arranged for a very comfortable and tastefully decorated padded room with plenty of reading material. We corresponded until his passing.”
“And he never tried to break out or send another threat? No hard feelings on either side?”
“Remember that we're discussing a stallion who could write endless reams of ingeniously insightful dissertations and academic papers within his field, but was incapable of buying groceries or having a lucid conversation. He was not a bad pony, just a confused one. I always enjoyed reading his letters. He understood my work in ways few others ever have, and I was one of the rare few who'd seen with her own eyes the ancient roads and battlefields that had always dominated his mind. We appreciated each other.”
“Enough chattering. What kind of barbarian doesn't own a table?”
“This barbarian, Mag the barbarian. What do I need a table for when I've got a lap?” said Mag in a mocking tone. "Okay... the truth is that my table broke years ago and I never replaced it, just threw it away. Think Celestia could make me one? We both owe each other lots of birthday presents."
"Oh and will you get me something too then?"
What do you give to a Goddess who lost everything then got a new daughter?
This was a terrible idea, a horrible idea. Mag was gonna do it anyway.
"Ever seen my baby pictures?"
Author's Note
Beta reader wanted.
This... this just happened.
Mag lost a car and her job, she won a pony goddess as her new mother.
What.
I blame Luna, is all her fault!
“What went down well?" Mum asks, coming back to the table.
"Nothing," I say.
"The Titanic," Elliot says.” - Zoe Sugg
Girl Online, 2014 book by Zoe Sugg.
Breakfast was… wonderful. No meat or jam, but that's what you get when you are having breakfast with magical equines.
“Is it sad that breakfast was like, one of the best things to happen to me lately? Besides being adopted?” Mag said out loud.
“I don’t think so, now… do you know who could buy this?” Celestia said and showed Mag a rock.
“Is that gold?” Mag just had to ask .
“Yes. You lost your job so we need a way to pay for things, like getting more stuff for your house.”
“We will have to go to the city, maybe by bus? No I got a car, ah right I don’t anymore, Bus is it.”
“Is this bus some sort of mechanical carriage?”
“I see you have been using Google.”
“It… it does distract me.”
And then Mag have Celestia another hug, the third since they woke up.
“Why do you keep thinking on a pink unicorn dancing?” Luna asked interrupting the hug, Mag guessed Luna, borrowed human body or not, just wasn’t a morning pony.
“Don’t be silly, there is no pink unicorn dancing.” Mag said almost automatically.
"Yes there is.” Luna said borrowing Mag’s mouth.
“No, there is not.”
“YES THERE IS!” Luna voiced sounded like thunder.
“NO!” Mag yelled and her chair cracked, making her fall.
“Hey, that was petty!” Not to mention she didn’t have many chairs to start with.
"That’s was you Mag, not me.”
“What? How could I a mere human… oh fudge it, that was magic?”
"Yes. Have you always been ignoring a pink unicorn in your head?”
Mag blushed “Uh… when I was like… four or five I had this imaginary friend...”
Celestia then said “Mag, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“I… I need to. I had this imaginary friend that was a pink unicorn that liked to dance but my parents didn’t like that and… let’s just end it I preferred to pretend she wasn’t there than taking stupid pills that made me sick. Only as time passed, she really wasn't there anymore, but I still imagine her dancing sometimes, only is like a faded memory.”
“What was her name?”
“What?”
“What was your imaginary dancing pink unicorn friend name?”
“Pink, I know is not great but I was like… four? Okay I gonna eat a jar of peanut butter right now.”
“What do you mean you're going to eat a jar of peanut butter? You just had breakfast.” Celestia face was serious.
“I… I just discovered my former imaginary friend I tried for many years to not think about is basically my magic. So…. I need to disappear into my room and pretend to myself that I'll never come out again, m'kay? Just knock when you need help.”
“Do whatever you need to, Mag, and talk with me whenever you're ready,” said Celestia. She glanced back at Mag. “What is it?”
“Nothing. Luna is laughing herself sick at the way you are acting like a mother, is all, even if she really should not since you adopted me and that. See you soon.” Mag stalked into the bedroom, turned the lights off, and fell into bed.
But she couldn’t sleep.
“Luna, can you make me sleep?”
“Fine.”
And then Mag dreamed.
She dreamed of marble pillars under the open sky, lit only by an unfamiliar moon. The floor was all one piece of smooth stone. Mag walked barefoot, like she used to over leaves and round, flat rocks in the woods of Mississippi so, so long ago, and her hair hung loose around her shoulders. Through an open door on the other side of the—was it a temple?—she could see the glow of a fire, and from the door issued a single indistinct voice. It seemed to be calling her name.
Mag walked to the door, confused but unafraid. The floor was cool under her feet but not cold. What stone was it? Alabaster. But she'd never seen it before, so how could it be in her dream, and why did she know what it was?
The pink unicorn was there next to her, no longer dancing, but it made her feel safer and tasting blueberries.
Mag pushed open the door and found a larger and better lit pillared marble and alabaster room with its own open ceiling, with Luna sitting in front of a bonfire as wide as Mag's house and taller than the big bear, though the fire burned silent.
Even if Mag hadn't seen Celestia's drawing, there was no mistaking Luna. She was the younger sister, yet her eyes looked older. Celestia would always look young, while Luna looked as if she was born old. Her smile was small, secretive, sincere, and her shadow spread hugely against the wall beside the door Mag had just walked through. Luna's shadow was sharp and perfectly still however the fire danced, and darker than the bottom of a coal mine.
Luna spoke.
The fountains mingle with the river And the rivers with the ocean, The winds of Heaven mix for ever With a sweet emotion; Nothing in the world is single, All things by a law divine In one spirit meet and mingle - Why not I with thine?
Mag approached the fire and sat beside her. Luna turned to face the fire. They watched it together for a while.
"My point," said Luna, "is that I've access to the minds of Earth while you sleep. Do you recognize this poem?"
Mag shook her head.
"It is by Percy Shelley," said Luna.
"It sounds like a love poem," said Mag. Her voice sounded so strange in this place.
"It is," said Luna.
"Getting Stockholm syndrome?"
"What is that?"
"Is this really the place for talking?" asked Mag. "It feels like it's supposed to be a quiet place."
"This place is of my own design and serves whatever purpose I wish it to, theoretically; but, having made it out of your own dreamstuff rather than mine, perhaps it carries properties I didn't put into it. Is it? Is this a quiet place, Mag?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just feeling quiet."
Luna closed her eyes, looked at the fire through her eyelids, lifted her nose to smell the air. "All of this is yours. Let your mood dictate its purpose. We will call it a quiet place, and be quiet together."
Mag leaned against Luna. She wouldn't do such a thing in the waking world, but surely the rules were different in dreams. Luna didn't protest.
Mag took soft, barefoot, low-gravity leaps over the gray sand, hair floating around her face. Luna flew beside her.
Some small, black prominence sat at the central mound of a great crater. Mag bound down the wall of the crater and then up the prominence to examine it, and found it to be an unfamiliar pony princess sitting stock still.
If princesses were Disney characters, this one was Maleficent. She had slitted cat's eyes, a black coat, wings like scythes, a suit of armor, and Luna's old eyes. Mag waved her hand in front of the new princess, who didn't move. Luna caught up and sat beside Mag, looking anywhere but at the black princess.
"Can I ask?" said Mag.
"I resolved some time ago to answer all questions honestly, that regard the Nightmare," said Luna.
"This is you."
"This was me."
"Did you really just sit here like this?"
"For a thousand years," said Luna. "I'll have the cod." She shut her menu and gave it to the waiter.
"Crab salad," said Mag, doing the same.
"Leila lina lu," said the waiter, and swam away.
"You're aware that cod is a type of meat?" said Mag.
"You're aware that this is a dream?" said Luna.
"Fair enough. I recognize this place, you know."
Luna changed into a human (the mirror of her sister, but a little shorter and with harsher features) and examined herself in the bowl of her spoon. "Yes?"
"I was a toddler. I never went in, but I liked the neon sign outside, though I couldn't read it. I asked if we could eat there. They told me it looked "pretty sleezy" and I didn't understand what "sleezy" meant, but I knew the word "pretty" and it only made me more curious. We never did go in, and now I dream about the place sometimes." She held up a drink coaster, a thick circle of cardboard embossed with the words "The Sleezypretty."
"Did you ever learn the true name of the place?" asked Luna.
"I've never remembered this place, except in dreams," said Mag. "I'll forget everything when I wake up. And I'm sure it'd turn out to be a low-rent Hooter's knockoff or something equally banal, so I'd just be disappointed."
The pink unicorn have Mag a comforting hug, for the first time in a long time, she hugged him back. Luna didn't even raise a eyebrow at that.
The food arrived with improbable speed. Luna tucked one of the black cloth napkins into the collar of her slinky evening gown and dug into the cod with every sign of enjoyment. This put Mag off her salad. She slid it to the side and ordered a Jack and Coke.
"There is something I'd like to discuss," said Luna.
"Hm?"
"Magic."
"Another of these," said Mag, waving her empty glass at a passing bush.
"Do you mean to get drunk?" asked Luna.
"I hadn't thought that far ahead. Don't let me distract you. What's this about magic?"
"I'm afraid there is a possibility you'll need basic access to your magic before dawn tomorrow. We can discuss the whys later. For now, talk to your pink friend." Luna tipped her plate of fishbones into the bonfire. Mag sat down on the stone floor again and set her drink beside her.
Then she looked at Pink the pink, currently not dancing, unicorn.
“Eh… Hi?”
The pink unicorn disappeared, yeah that was useful.
Luna spoke mildly, conversationally, as if to avoid scaring Mag off and not saying anything about what just happened. "The world of dreams is an excellent place to practice magic, I have always felt. The classic student's complaint 'But I can't do that' is inarguably foolishness here, for this is your dream. You needn't concern yourself with what is possible, here, only what is imaginable. Imagine yourself doing magic. Dream of magic, learn the feel of it, and carry that feeling into the sunlight. Do this, learn the processes, and all that is left is practice."
"I didn't say you could teach me magic," said Mag. “Wait… I did? But was was awake me, does it count?”
"May I teach you magic?" said Luna.
"Not just now. I feel so tired. I'm asleep, but I'm so tired. What does that mean?"
"You've had a trying day," said Luna. The pink unicorn tied a cute bow made out of blueberries to the princess of the night tail.
"We all have," said Mag, "and between the three of us, I'm the one with the fewest problems. I'm being selfish by bringing it up."
"Nay. I have fewer problems than you, for a problem is only a problem insofar as it may be solved, and what you would call my problems are insoluble, whatever my sister's view. All that I love is gone, Mag, except for my sister, and there is nothing I can do about it. I shall cling to what I have left, therefore, as the survivor of a sunken ship clings to a piece of broken hull, and paddle to shore as best I can. Then I'll prove that it is possible to live with a broken heart."
"How can you stand it?" asked Mag. Was that a cruel question? She couldn't take it back.
"I can't," Luna answered.
"What can I do?"
Luna smiled. "You are already doing it dear niece."
Right, being Celestia adopted daughter, even if she felt like Celestia pet human instead.
Mag finished her drink and tossed the glass into the fire. "Celestia thinks she can bring back Equestria."
"To that I can only say that if hope were music, Celestia would be Mozart," said Luna.
"It's pronounced 'Mozart,'" said Mag.
"I don't care. Of course, in fairness, blind hope is how she accomplishes all her miracles. She turns traitors into sisters and mortals into legends. Celestia can be so very stubborn, and she has a talent for finding loopholes, so who can say for sure what she'll accomplish? But there is no bringing back the dead. But come; you don't yet wish to discuss magic, and, in all candor, I haven't the heart to discuss what has been lost. So, apropos of nothing and without any reference to tiring subjects or questions of rights to teaching, out of curiosity, does this taste of blueberries?"
Luna have Mag a chair, Mag bit a piece off it and ate that.
"Sometimes I get the feeling you two are used to getting your way," said Mag. “And no, it tasted like strawberry juice.”
"Sorry this is rather important. I'll explain why later tonight. How about this?" Luna licked Mag face, it tasted like moonshine, and made Mag feel drunk.
"No, why blueberries?”
“Your magic is pink, dancing and blueberries.”
And then Mag was wearing a pink tutu.
“I am not dancing.” Mag protested
“I am not the one who put you in that pink tutu.” Luna really looked like she was holding back laughter and making a horrible job at it.
“Oh great, I should just have keep ignoring the pink unicorn.”
“Oh right, because that has worked great so far, has it not?”
Mag couldn’t argue with that. So she danced, and because it was a dream, she actually could do it.
Pink became her dance partner and have her a kiss, it tasted of blueberries.
Then Luna was wearing a pink tutu too.
Mag felt down laughing, then she feel off a precipice. She made no sound as she hit the bottom; there were no sounds there.
"Our time is up. One more thing…" Luna voice whispered.
Mag woke up to a genteel knock on her bedroom door. "Lunch's ready," said Celestia. "Would you like to come out? We can talk about what happened, if you like."
"Be out in a second," mumbled Mag, and slid out of bed. She lifted her fingers to hook the hair out of her face, but noticed something in her hand that hadn't been there before. She turned on the light to look at it.
It was a drink coaster embossed with the words "The Sleezypretty."
"You've lived a life without magic," said Luna, "but today you found it in yourself, and now you must learn that the rules are not what you think they are. Be humble and be careful, or others will pay the price. Do you understand? Remember the Titanic."
Distracted about why and how Luna would know about the Titanic, Mag lost track of the coaster somewhere between the bed and the door. She never saw it again, but she later found a pink plushie she had believed lost forever.
Author's Note
Beta reader still wanted.
Yes the pink unicorn turned to be important.
Yay!
"When harmony, mutual consideration and trust pass out of the home, hell enters in." - David O. McKay
Pathways To Happiness 1957 book by David O. McKay
Mag stepped out of her bedroom into the too-bright lights of the hall and the smell of garlic bread. Well no, the lights were not to bright she was just grumpy because she wanted to stay sleeping a tad more.
"Ah, you're out," said Celestia from the kitchen.
"Yep," said Mag. She walked into the kitchen to see Celestia wearing a chef's hat of mysterious origin and vigorously stirring olive oil into a bowl of crushed greenery. That made her wanting to go to sleep right away so she could learn more magic.
"This is an herbivore's dinner, I'm afraid," said Celestia, setting the bowl down.
"I'm not complaining. Do you even know how to cook meat?"
Celestia turned back to the stove to lift the dinner plate off the top of the pot of spaghetti - Mag didn't have a pot lid - and see how it was doing. "I have only the vaguest idea. If I had to cook meat, I would probably just grill it in a pan while trying not to look, then take it off the stove when the smell changed."
"That'd be how I cook literally everything that can't be cooked in a microwave, so that makes perfect sense to me."
"This meal is almost ready," said Celestia. "Where are your plates? I could only find the one."
"I only own one plate."
Celestia sighed a "What am I going to do with you" sigh.
"Oh, come on. What do I need a second plate for? Tell you what, I also have a bowl. Let me just find it."
"Is it the bowl I've got green beans in?" Celestia pointed with a hoof.
"Oh. Yeah, that's the one."
"At least you have two forks," said Celestia.
"Yeah, I lost the first one, so I bought another, but then I found it under the couch. Lucky, eh?"
"You also have a table," said Luna. "That pile of square objects in the bedroom is sitting on one."
"I thought about that, but can computers be moved?" said Celestia.
"Sure," said Mag. "I'll clear it off and then you can help me drag it out here. I was planning on setting the computer up in the living room anyway, so you can Google all you want without annoying me. You could also look up all the pop culture references I keep dropping."
"If you're going to bring it into the living room then I hope to spend time reading all about human history, actually."
"Fine."
Mag had never bothered to buy a proper desk. She'd found a table at a yard sale for 15 dollars and it worked just fine. She got a lot of things from yard sales, including her tableware and the television. Why spend 30 bucks on 25 eating utensils for a one-person house when you could spend 20 cents for one fork and one spoon, and not have to drive off the mountain to do so? And wasn't that something Celestia wouldn't like, more so being her mother? Mag tried to think on pink unicorns instead.
Mag dragged the table into the kitchen, it either wasn't as heavy as she remembered or being able to do magic made her stronger for some reason. So she didn't bother to get Celestia's help, though, come to think of it, Celestia could have just levitated it with far less effort , now that was one magical skill Mag wanted to master as fast as possible.
"Mag, since we are living together, you do need enough dinnerware for four people minimum, just like anyone else. Honestly, Mag, you should have at least allowed for the possibility that you'd make friends at some point."
"My friends could bring their own plates," said Mag.
"Well, you've made friends now," said Celestia, "and they're here for dinner, and they're both completely unarmed with any plates or spoons. Your logic has failed you. Here you go."
"You are family not friends, and Luna and me share the same body." Mag accepted a plate of buttery bow tie pasta with pesto, steaming garlic bread dusted with basil, and a mound of green beans.
Mag set it reverently down on the table. "Thank you mom. Wow, my pony princess mother can cook."
Celestia, now serving herself a bowl of the same, smiled. "It wasn't a difficult meal to make, and I said I'd cook you dinner if you spoke with Jorge. But Mag your logic still failed since I didn't bring my own plate."
"But you could make more plates with magic."
"Yes but magic is tiring." The pony Goddess made as if to put a pot lid back on the pot of pasta, remembered there wasn't one, and sat down.
"Who is Jorge?" asked Luna.
"He runs the grocery store down the road," answered Mag.
"There seemed to be some slight awkwardness between Mag and Jorge, so I encouraged them into a bit of small talk. You know I'm a great believer in the power of small talk."
"Yes, it's maddening," Luna sticked out Mag's tongue."Look at me, I am the princess of endless talking!"
Celestia lifted her fork with magic, ignoring Luna, and stabbed a single bow tie, lifted it up to eye height, and studied it critically. "I hope I got this recipe right. I also hope the pine nuts I gathered are fit for human consumption. Humans can eat pine nuts, yes? I remember them from the market in, ah, Greece, I think you called it, but perhaps things have changed."
"Yeah, we can eat pine nuts. Where on earth did you get pine nuts?" Mag looked out the window. "Wait, no. Seriously?"
"You live in a pine forest and you've never gathered pine nuts?" said Celestia.
"Mag, will you flaming well eat what's in front of you?" said Luna.
"Yes, do," said Celestia.
"Pushy, pushy, pushy," said Mag, and took a bite. It was excellent. Mag ruined it by dissolving into tears.
Celestia leaped to Mag's side of the little table with a flap of her wings and clutched Mag to her furry chest to coo promises of a better tomorrow while Luna offered panicked reassurances. Mag sniveled and blubbered out incoherent fragments of self-effacing apologies, as if she could possibly talk her way out of the situation when she couldn't talk.
Mag eventually fought it all back down and would have tried to act casual and go back to eating dinner, but her equine wouldn't let go and pretended not to hear when Mag said she was fine. She spilled over again and could do nothing but lay her forehead on the table with her hands folded over the back of her neck, and wait for it to pass.
It did. Celestia, still not letting go, eventually said, "Any better?"
"I don't understand anything on any level," said Mag.
"You'll work it out. I'll help you."
"We both will. You have much to look forward to."
"You have all the time in the world to make sense of what's happening, and you will. You're an especially clever creature in an already brilliant world."
"I know not what to say, or what I can offer you that isn't already yours for the asking from either or both of us, but know that I would offer you any comfort if I only knew what you needed from us." Luna said and hugged Mag with Mag own arms.
"I won't leave you alone." Celestia said and Mag got the impression it was a lie but said nothing about it.
"And neither shall I, for, well, obvious reasons, but I wouldn't if I could my dear niece."
"We'll all look after each other, okay?"
"Rest. You've done well today."
And Mag was off again... then stopped on the bathroom, picked a brush and came back.
"Not before I brush your beautiful mane and talk some more."
"So... we are family now." Mag said. Because it was still hard to believe, even if she was crazy, had done magic and had a pony princess of the night sharing her body.
"Yes, I could make it legal on this World if you want, but that would require me to.legally exist here, and is too much hard work, I don't wanna bother unless you think is really important."
"Oh, feeling lazy? I like that, it makes you flawed, less perfect, more human somewhat." Mag said and started to brush Celestia hair.
"I... I feel like it would so easy to give up and I hate that. I am a doer, I do things."
"Yes, that's one of the things that irritates me about you sister, you tend to always intervene, to do things. In fact if beings like us weren't invisible for most of the humans you would already be trying to fix this broken world." Luna said using Mag's mouth.
"I... I still want to help, but there are many things I don't know of Earth, and I don't want to mess up."
"What did the Regent said? Humans are not ponies, he said you would break me if you forgot that, I think that also applies to the rest of humanity. And yes I am hating myself for thinking he is right on something."
"Hence the wait for being contacted by the local magic users."
"Ah yes, people who only are able to see you dear sister because they are either crazy, delusional or small kids. That will sure go well." Luna sacasrm tasted like fresh water or it was probably the glass of water she drank just after she talked. Then Mag continued to slowly brush Celestia mane.
"So... are we gonna talk about our feelings now?" Mag said, because while she didn't want to, she hated this waste of time, this delaying of things, and she knew Celestia was probably wanting until she felt asleep to go risk her life alone. Because Mag was her adopted daughter and also shared her body with Luna so she didn't want them hurt.
"I... I will start. Mag, I don't want to lose you, I really think you should stay."
"I think if you go alone you may end killing yourself. Regents can kill other Regents, right?"
"A Regent in their own World is basically almost Omnipotent, so yes. But things rarely go to those extremes. Celestia might end as someone pet or as a statue but she would still be herself and alive."
"Celestia, do you want to be punished?"
Celestia looked away "Maybe."
"And to think you called me an idiot when I punished myself for having been Nightmare Moon. Even if as you yourself said, that didn't last a hour and I didn't hurt anyone but you and myself.
"That was only because I told everyone in the castle to run away before talking to you Luna and because I used the Elements Of Harmony to seal you away. But yes, it was stupid to create a nightmare creature to punish yourself."
"And being hurt on purpose by another Regent isn't stupid?" Mag said as she finished brushing the pony goddess hair.
"Yes. Mag I have not been entire honest with you. While I do love you like a daughter, I only decided to adopt you because you got my sister stuck in your head. Not that I wouldn't have mothered you anyway but humans lives are quite short and I don't think I could take yet another loss well."
Mag stared.
Celestia have her a hug.
"Is... is okay. I knew I wasn't special."
"But Mag you are special, you can see me while most of your kind can't and you can do magic. And you got me and Luna together again. And I do love you... I just don't feel I could stand losing you."
"Ehh Luna, got anything to confess?"
"Mag, you actually have a high talent for magic, for someone who lives in such a magic dry world at least."
"Okay fine, I am special and not in the sence everyone is special and all that crap. What now?"
"Now go to sleep while I use this Google again."
"Fine."
Then the human stomach grumbled.
Celestia looked ashamed "We might have forgot to finish eating dinner I think?"
"Well that does explain the food still in the table." Luna said sarcastically.
Then again, it had been a quite emotional moment.
Celestia's table manners were the ultimate proof that courtesy was an art. All that puff about keeping your elbows off the table and making light, inoffensive conversation were just the bare minimum requirement of the medium, like the meter and rhyme restrictions of a sonnet. A sonnet could obey all the rules of poetry and still be a bad sonnet. A person could obey all the rules of dining and still look like a barbarian. Celestia was no barbarian; she was impeccably civilized without being precious. Words and gestures that would have seemed stiff even to a Victorian era baroness seemed casual with her. And yet Celestia never made Mag feel like she was being humored or tolerated. Yet she was still Mag the barbarian and if it wasn't Celestia she would swear she was just being barely tolerated because she was a poor barbaric woman that didn't know better.
The mother pony goddess tried to draw Mag out, to get her to talk a bit about the local flora and what a person might find at a human yard sale, and when Mag had nothing particularly to say, Celestia took the hint with grace and kept the conversation going all by herself, letting Mag get by on nods and monosyllables.
Crying all over dinner. Lord. What had happened, really, that was such a big deal? Visiting royalty, got fired, compulsory headmate, cleaned the store, suddenly a sorceress, dip in the lake, yelled at a scary hobo, talking to a pony queen well pony princess, don't know what to do. Whatever. Most of it wasn't even bad, from a purely objective point of view. There were people who'd kill to be her right now, abject terror or no, and not knowing what to do had been her base state of being for the past decade. Oh and don't forget being adopted; that was nice.
And now she was sitting there pitying herself, and it was clear that Celestia had decided to say something about it, because she'd stopped talking and had the look of someone constructing a tricky sentence.
"The aether seems to be reacting a bit differently to you than it did before. Has something happened?"
"I did magic. I can do magic. I am a witch mom, I am going to Hogwarts!"
"You can... hm. What happened, and how can I help?" Seeing Mag's face change at the question, she added, "We don't have to discuss this, of course, certainly not right now. I'm sure Luna knows the story and is already doing everything she can. Oh and that reference was... Harry Potter?"
"Correct," said Luna. "And you are not going to Hogwarts young lady, that place is fictional."
"Uh, I knew some of my books in my bedroom were missing, when did you read them?" Mag asked.
"I actually just found about that using Google since I didn't sleep much since I meet you."
"Anyway long story short, the imaginary friend from when I was like five is my magic. Can I learn how to levitate things? And yeah Luna is teaching me magic."
Celestia nodded. "Yes you can. And well, I hope you aren't planning anything in the way of actual lessons tonight. We're all exhausted."
"May I?"
"Hold on," said Mag. She finished her garlic bread, took her empty plate to the sink, and came back. "Okay."
"Mag has a most interesting magic signature," said Luna.
"Oh?" said Celestia.
"Pink, dancing and blueberries."
"Interesting indeed," said Celestia.
"Do you have any idea of what it means?"
"No, have you tried asking to Mag imaginary friend?"
"I tried, she stuffed my face full of blueberries, made me dance, and put pink bows in my tail."
"I see." Celestia said holding her laughter.
Celestia flatly refused to take the bed, Mag couldn't imagine sharing the bed with her, and, when Mag made as if to lay down blankets for herself next to the couch, Celestia stood up, lowered her horn, and herded Mag into the bedroom.
"We need to get you a bed," said Mag.
"You need to get to bed," said Celestia.
"One thing. Please set up your computer in the living room. I know Celestia, and I suspect she'll have difficulties sleeping, which means leaving her to herself to think in the dark. This is no time to leave her alone with her thoughts. Apprise her of the device and perhaps she'll read herself to sleep."
"Good point," said Mag. She got up and made as if to go around Celestia, who was blocking the door.
"I'm setting up the computer," said Mag.
"Must you? I'm going directly to bed, you know."
"Yes, she will, whereupon she'll find that she cannot relax enough to fall asleep, and will be able to think of nothing else but what we have lost."
Celestia gave Mag a Look. "This is Luna's idea? Let her rest, Luna. I'll be fine."
"Someday, you will be," said Luna. "I swear it. But for now, read yourself to sleep with Mag's machine, and I shall send you dreams of cloudbursts over the sea, and of the glen in which we wore our first crowns, and of camomile baths in great steaming tubs."
"It's easy to set up," said Mag. "You plug the one thing into the other thing and then that thing into the wall. No problem."
Celestia, at a rare loss for words, stepped aside. Mag got her to levitate the table over to the corner near the wall socket and plugged things into things, turned it on, explained Google in a bit more detail so Celestia could use custom search settings, and pulled up a poetry website at Luna's suggestion. The whole process took 10 minutes and Celestia picked it up quickly.
"Thank you both," said Celestia as Mag walked back to her bed, "though you both worry too much. I'll be out like a light."
"Let us agree to ignore the optimist and leave her to her own devices. I'll see you on the other side. Worry not; your dreams will be peaceful."
"See you mon," said Mag, turned off the light, and crawled under the covers. Mag heard the couch creak and blankets shift. Then a while later, just before falling asleep, Mag heard the couch creak again, the swish of moving blankets, and then the clicking of a computer mouse.
Author's Note
Beta reader still wanted.
Pink unicorn and Luna sitting under a tree...
"Art is magic delivered from the lie of being truth." - Theodor Adorno
Minima Moralia 1951 book by Theodor Adorno
"Celestia seemed... distracted. She mentioned I can do magic then later asked me why the Aether was different around me so I told her I can do magic and she acted as if she had not know before I told her." Mag found weird it took her falling asleep to realize that, she was wearing a red dress and eating apples.
"Celestia is not only a doer but a planner, your crying took her by surprise so she had to improvise and she made mistakes. Also she still plans to go alone."
"Why? Is that Regent of the place she is going that dangerous?"
"Ponies don't take failures well when is things we feel should be good doing. We are also a herd species, we don't deal well with being alone. You and I have helped, but there is not a magical mystery cure for this or some miracle. Celestia and I lost our World, and there is nothing she can do to fix things or if you want the optimistic version, there is nothing she can do to fix it yet." Luna was wearing a pink tutu while a familiar pink unicorn brushed her coat.
"Oh thank you." Mag picked a diamond that a scarecow waiter have her, she tasted it, it was soft and flawored like vanilla.
"Quiero el vino de la casa." Luna ordered and got served a toy house full of red wine. Mag didn't know why but felt that it was funny.
Then something changed and Mag walked barefoot across the forest floor and wore her hair loose around her shoulders. Smooth riverstones framed a winding creek, flowing under a distant, winding canopy of hickory and oak foliage. Bluejays rattled and muttered and argued somewhere up there. The place was familiar and nostalgic for some reason.
"I'd forgotten this place," said Mag.
"I am glad you remembered it again, then." Luna dipped her head to drink from the water. "Mmm, blueberries."
"It didn't have a name, so me and my brothers called it 'The Crick.' We played here all day when we could, and I loved this place like I loved life." She pointed downstream. "Follow this and it leads to a gully next to a fat old walnut tree in the middle of a field. We called it the witness tree, even though I'm sure practically every tree in this forest witnessed the civil war. I don't know, it just looked to us like a tree that'd seen things in its lifetime." She leaned down, picked up a hickory nutshell, and tossed it into the water. It floated a few yards and caught up on the arch of an underwater tree-root.
"And that was your accent, I suppose," said Luna.
"My what?"
"Your accent changed. You did notice, didn't you?"
"No, actually," said Mag, consciously shifting back to Californian. "I thought I'd gotten rid of that."
"You could have kept it. You sound almost like the Apples."
"The what?"
"I believe you saw the picture of Applejack," said Luna.
Mag sat down. "So this family of ponies has a southern accent."
"Oh, are you keeping the accent after all?"
"What? Dammit! No. I got rid of everything that reminded me of home and I don't want any of it back. I was practicing my neutral accent before I drove over the Mississippi state line. Repeating everything the DJs said on the national radio stations, copying the way they talked, watching TV every night in the hotels and copying the newscasters."
"Do you wish to leave this place?"
"No...Yes, I don't know." Mag brushed leaves away from the forest floor to dig a hole in the dirt with a finger, just for something to do other than look at Luna looking at her. "No. I'd like to stay."
"It is certainly beautiful," said Luna.
"Yes, yes it is. I like everything about it. I like the squirrels, with their little paws and big tails. Sometimes you can also hear turkeys, but they're wary of people. They know we hunt them. I like that it's quiet now. I even like showing it to someone else."
Luna's eyes focused on something over Mag's shoulder, and narrowed. She leaned to the right, then walked and leaned further, peering through the trees at something.
Mag followed her line of sight. At first she saw nothing; then she noticed the same thing she'd seen in the crater - Nightmare Moon, unmoving, waiting.
"I beg your pardon," said Luna to Mag.
"Why?"
"I seem to have brought a memory with me. I was only thinking that something in this forest reminded me of the moon, and I suppose that brought it here." The pink unicorn stuck her tongue out at Nightmare Moon and have a kiss to Luna forehead.
"Is she dangerous?"
"No. She always has exactly as much power as you give her, and this image signifies nothing to you, so you give it no power."
"It's creepy. She's creepy. It. She. It. Okay, I'm having pronoun troubles."
"It hardly matters," said Luna. "Look over there." Mag looked. There wasn't anything to see. She looked back. Nightmare Moon was gone and the pink unicorn was making funny faces at Luna, Mag tried to not laugh.
"There," said Luna.
"Cool trick," said Mag and then felt down laughing.
"The little tricks are often the best ones," said Luna. "I have sealed this dream. There will be no more dream shifts."
"Weren't you going to tell me something? And are you sure? Dreams are not what I would call unchanging, even recurring nightmares have variations."
"Hm?"
"Before dinner you said something about, uh, something. What? Something important?"
"Oh! Yes. We have work to do, I fear, though we may do it here in your forest. My sister is going to do something foalish. She plans to leave before dawn tomorrow, to head to the valley of mirrors and thence to the world in the lake. She plans to do it without us because she fears for our safety, both mine and yours."
"Not happening," said Mag."And didn't we already talk about this? Ah right this is a dream."
"I knew you would say that. Shall we work together dear niece?"
"Obviously. But how do you know... and how do I know?"
"I know her," said Luna. And of course you know she is going to do something stupid because you see a bit of yourself in her. Just like Celestia sees a bit of herself in you."
"Does she tend to do stuff like this when she suffers from loss?" Mag asked as the pink unicorn tied a pink bow to her hair.
"Not exactly like this, but personal loss is a part of life for we who must outlive our loved ones, so I am well acquainted with the ways in which she grieves. She is restless, she is by turns hyperproductive and paralyzed, throwing herself into ambitious projects in one hour and then hiding in her room pretending to sleep in the next. Assuming a placid face for the sake of her subjects, she paces and wanders the halls, stopping to stare at tapestries but not truly seeing them. It is best not to let her brood, or so I have found. I will sometimes ply her with distractions: new works of art, small interpersonal problems for her to solve, secret pranks. Sometimes it works. Then again, sometimes it is best to let her be, or to sit beside her and say nothing. But in this case the loss is too big, the pain tremendous, we cannot leave her alone or she will destroy herself."
Mag wondered whether she had it in herself to ask Luna what Celestia did when the situation was reversed. She didn't. Too bad she couldn't ask Celestia without Luna hearing the whole conversation. Was there a way to do that? Then again, Mag the magical barbarian was a pretty big distraction for Luna, so maybe that helped.
"So it's time to talk magic since we already went over Celestia being self destructive yet again," said Mag.
"It's indeed time to talk magic," confirmed Luna.
And then Mag and Luna were dancing, it was Swam Lake and Mag was quite sure she would never be able to dance so well outside of dreams unless she cheated.
"Ahem," said Luna and the dancing stopped. "You have been assured of a restful sleep. We shall therefore avoid the more, shall we say, psychologically taxing exercises, focusing on gateway information, a thorough search for what precisely makes your magic work, and mental discipline. Please make yourself as comfortable as possible so we can begin."
Mag imagined herself a cigarette and settled in.
Luna held up a hoof. "No. Straighten your trunk, face me directly, and square your shoulders."
"That sounds less comfortable," said Mag and the cigarette was gone.
"You'll get used to it. There are breathing exercises you must learn and posture is critical. Also, please don't smoke while dreaming."
Mag decided not to waste time arguing, and rearranged herself into Indian position.
"That looks even more uncomfortable," said Luna.
"Nope," said Mag.
"Hm. We'll see how you feel after a while. Shift into a different position if you should need to. First, your breathing. We will start every lesson with breathing, which I'm sorry to say means no smoking, glad to see you got rid of the cigarette."
And Luna taught Mag how to breathe. It was exactly as dull as one would expect, but at least it wasn't difficult. Mag breathed according to the pattern Luna had prescribed. Luna corrected her. Mag tried again. They kept doing this until there was nothing else for Luna to correct, and she sat in silence while Mag breathed.
"So this is basically meditation, right?" said Mag.
"No, but you'll learn that tonight as well. Keep breathing as I've instructed you, and while you practice that, you will learn the basic mechanics of magic."
"Like that documentary I didn't let you finish narrating to me, I guess?"
"Yes, but arranged for an adult. I wouldn't wish you to feel as if I were talking down to you."
"Neat." Mag didn't ask for a cigarette, she had to be strong or she would lose her second mother. She ended licking an apple lollypop instead.
Luna then turned to the whiteboard and drew a series of vaguely mathematical but utterly unrecognizable symbols. "Now..."
After an interminable length of time full of jargon and apparent nonsense, Luna happened to look behind her to see Mag's face.
"You're kidding," said Mag, her lollypop finished, she still wanted to smoke but endured.
"Why, not at all," said Luna.
"None of that meant anything to me. I understood one word in ten and the word was always 'the' or 'and' or, my personal favorite, 'obviously.' I feel like a barbarian that wandered into the third quarter a college calculus class."
"Hm. I think I see the problem, and I should have thought of this much earlier. Does this help?"
Whole new categories of sensation flooded Mag's awareness. Mag jerked upright and her head lolled like the conductor of a seance. The trees were pillars of rushing water and the sky was a wall of light. The stream was life and death. Around Luna's head was a grayscale rainbow aurora, from her hooves stretched a shadow deeper than the sea and darker than the spaces between the stars, Mag's hands were pink wooden claws her breath was love her blood was silt her head was pain her bones seared like whiskey her-
It all faded into halos and dusk, and Mag found herself spasming against a tree. Luna had her hoof on Mag's shoulder and watched her with concerned eyes. The aurora was still there around Luna's head, but Mag had to squint to see it, and her shadow was dim rather than dark. And the pink unicorn was giving her a hug to calm her, that helped
"That was rash, and I apologize," said Luna.
"The hell was that?" asked Mag, still shaking then she got another apple lollypop.
"I let you see the aether. But, like a fool, I made you too sensitive."
"Is this permanent? Will I wake up like this?"
"No. The only thing you'll take from this dream is understanding."
"Good," said Mag. She wanted to throw up. The aether was interesting now that Luna had turned the volume down, but it was obvious Mag wasn't made for this. "By the way, it kind of got lost in all the... all of that, but I think I saw Nightmare Moon again. She looked like drowning."
"Yes, that sounds like her," said Luna. She looked behind her. "Yes. Disturbing that she doesn't go away. Is something on your mind?"
"You were beautiful, you know," said Mag. "Really. Like those medieval Black Madonna statues. Or a Carlos Schwabe painting, or something. La Douleur. La Morte du Fossoyeur. Free us from all sin, Nephthys. Shield us from the judging day, Shalim. Though I walk through the shadow of the lady of night, I shall fear no evil. Why have the bluejays gone quiet?"
"The walls are breaking down. I think you had better wake up," said Luna. The ground turned to clouds and Mag began to fall-
then jerked awake. It was still dark outside.
"Take a break. I'm surprised this is necessary, but such is the price for my acting the fool. I apologize again, and you have my promise that I'll be more careful."
Mag had a headache. She got up to search her purse for a Midol without turning the lights on, found it, and swallowed it without water. She leaned against the wall and took stock.
It hadn't been so bad, really, once Luna had changed the settings. She'd have to look a few of those names up, though. She had no idea who Carlos Schwabe was.
"Hope I don't go all mythological like that every time you let me see the aether," said Mag.
"You still want to test it? There are certainly other ways to learn magic. I'm sure I can make my lectures more understandable if I slow down and clarify my terms."
"My options are to take a horrible math class or to drop acid? And that sounds like a tough choice to you? My favorite Beatles song is 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.' Let's do this. Anyway, it's just a dream."
"Just a... heavens preserve us. You're going to get us both killed."
"Killed? You?"
"Yes, me. Immortality is a relative term, more so in my weakened state."
Mag got back into bed. "Yeah, well, I'm coming back anyway, for the sake of learning magic and to help my suicidal pony goddess mother."
The halos were still there. Mag felt woozy, but tried to appear as sober as possible.
Luna looked unimpressed. "I need to know how lucid you are before we begin. Tell me again about Nephthys."
"Who?"
"What is your auric signature?"
"My imaginary friend and two something elses."
"What is your name?"
"Margaret Taylor Wilson."
"Age?"
"27."
"Where are we right now?"
"Mississippi. Wait, no, this is a dream. Or, no, this doesn't look like Mississippi anyway." It didn't. They sat in the alabaster temple under the strange stars.
"What is the last song you listened to?"
"Trick question, it was an instrumental. You know, the one played by that little girl with the mbira from the next village over? Just kidding; it was 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.'"
"I don't believe you," said Luna.
"Why would I lie?"
"Because you believe the study of magic would be more interesting this way. Then again, if you are canny enough to lie then you should understand what I tell you."
"Oh, then I'm slightly lying."
Luna's expression suggested this was the wrong thing to say. She later refused to let Mag smoke when Mag asked and even took Mag apple lollypop away.
Then again Luna had said to not smoke in dreams, didn't she?
But magic was certainly more interesting now that Mag could see it properly. It turned out that "see" wasn't the right word. Luna started out with a demonstration, lifting a river rock and tossing it to Mag, and the only thing she could see with her eyes was the subtle field of light that surrouded the rock. Mag had another sense, now, however, one she had no words for, and that was where the show was. That throw of the rock had been every bit as complicated as Luna's lectures. This was going to be an uphill climb. Wait, where had the rock come from? Oh, they were by The Crick again. The world was so different now that it could be hard to recognize things.
Save the pink unicorn, she still looked more or less the same. Maybe even more pink?
"I'm relieved," said Luna.
"What?"
"Since you seem to be handling this well, more or less, we can take a more hooves-on approach. Pick up that rock, please."
Mag picked up the rock.
"This time, we shall start by searching for your source of power and go from there. We won't stop until we've found it, and you needn't worry about running out of time, for time is fluid here."
"Cool," said Mag, and dropped back into her earlier sitting position.
"Tell me about your chilldhood, the bad parts, how things started to go wrong and you turned from a happy child to someone who prefered to sleep in jail that be with her parents." said Luna.
"Aw, crap. Seriously? Is it too late to do the lecture?"
"Yes, because I am tired of dithering over study methods," said Luna.
"Dammit, fine! but if I spend hundreds of years breaking down every single thing that happened during my crappy childhood, then I'm taking both of you out for dinner and a movie. Dinner is steak and the movie is Begotten."
"If this takes hundreds of years, I would be delighted to endure both just to make my sister suffer the same thing for forcing us to do all of this in the span of a single night. But it won't come to that. Now, first, tell me what your dad was like."
"He was racist and sexist, and he used words like negro and queer as insults. And I think the first time I found out he was an asshole was when..."
Mag spent ample time talking about how much of a dick her father was while Luna nodded along in a detached way like a police officer taking down a confession, prompting Mag to continue whenever she got too embarrassed to speak, and never once acted disgusted or surprised. Describing slavery and the KKK didn't faze her either, nor did Mag's halting explanation of LGBT issues and so on.
"So, the Eldest reminded you a lot to your father, that's why you think you hate him so much besides the fact all of humanity hates him." Luna summed up.
"And both my dad and the eldest are dicks," said Mag because she felt that needed to be repeated.
"You certainly seem to disagree with your father opinions."
"I can't stand that shit. Even when I was little I thought dysaesthesia aethiopica sounded less like an actual illness and more like the sensible reaction to slave drivers being slave drivers, yet my dad pulled the word out every time he saw a tired-looking black man. And when I was a teen and I heard about men wanting to marry other men for the first time I said "Neat," and everyone all got pissed and read the bible at me like I was the crazy one. I am not crazy. Right? They're the crazy ones. It's obvious."
"'True' and 'obvious' are two different things, unfortunately," said Luna.
"Thank you."
"It must be difficult to talk about this, do you want to keep going?"
Mag shifted. Suddenly she couldn't get comfortable. "Of course it was, why did had to turn into a therapy session? I thought we were looking for what triggered my magic. Why can't it be like when I made that thing appear? What has my shitty past have to do with this?"
"Your magic has an emotional trigger, let's try something else. Tell me about your mother."
"Celestia is my mother, not that person."
"You know what I am talking about."
"Fine. She... she just agreed with everything dad said, she read the bible a lot, the only good thing was that she didn't hit me, but that was it."
"And what do you think Celestia would do if she ever meet your human parents?"
"I think she would put my dad on the sun and sent dear mum to therapy, no she wouldn't do the sun thing. She... is too kind but she would still be angry she... she wouldn't let me treat me like trash."
"Look at your rock." Luna said.
Mag then looked at it closely. "Ooh, it has my thumbprint in it. That wasn't there before. Did you see me cast anything?"
"Not exactly," Luna said reluctantly.
"More yes than no, though, right?"
"Whatever, give me your rock."
Mag half flung, half tossed Luna the rock. Luna caught it with magic, clearly annoyed. "And now thou throwest rocks at me. No, do not apologize - I know. Listen; look you. This print is yours, made by your own thumb upon the surface of something you cannot mar by any means but magic - or machinery, so I suppose, but that is not to the point. This print is yours, and the force that caused it is yours, and the thoughts or feelings that brought it out of you are yours. It is yours, yours to use, and your responsibility to use well. Now Mag, how do you feel about having two magical talking pony princesses as family?"
They stared at each other. Then Mag smiled and said, “I like you two, I don't think I can call it love but... having you two around is great."
"You imprinted the rock when you said Celestia wouldn't treat you like trash."
"So... that means what? I think happy thoughts and my magic works?"
“Not quite, but we are getting there, let us 'narrow things down,' as they now say.”
Getting there and narrowing things down turned out to be tedious, very much so. Luna listed off images and ideas, only this time Mag held her rock instead of holding her hands apart. At one point the rock turned squishy and glowed blue a little, but Luna hardly seemed to care. Mag asked why.
“We aren't just trying to replicate the effect anymore,” said Luna. “We are trying to do it consistently, on command. Parsley. Blue garage. The sensation of being stricken across the face. Cannibal cookbooks. Bowl of persimmons. Flower clock. Status quo. Webbing. A vile joke that makes you uncomfortable. A broken wall. Celestia giving you a hug, dancing, blueberries, me in a pink tutu.”
"Uh, the rock turned pink."
"Me in a pink tutu."
"Nothing is happening."
"A dancing pink unicorn eating blueberries in a pink tutu."
"Nope."
"Celestia giving you a hug?"
"And now the rock is a pink apple."
"Celestia giving you a hug!"
"Nothing now. I guess is basically happy thoughts about family?"
"Like what?"
"Me and you being a family, having fun together, I don't want Celestia to get hurt."
The pink apple exploded into pink apple juice.
Mag felt that she was being watched
"Do you feel that?” said Mag.
“No,” Luna said firmly.
“So, yes,” said Mag.
“Do not dwell on it. It is dangerous even to discuss it. Even its image has a certain power, and such things never really die, nor can they ever be said to be far away, for they are only ideas and have no physical location as such. Ah, but there is an object lesson for you, once you grasp the workings of your magic. I have been poor prey for the Nightmare for years now because my mind and heart are the wrong shape; I have seen the kindness of my world now, bathed in it, let it shape me, having much to live for and little reason to despise my fate. But... now that I come to think of it...” a look of terror eclipsed her face. “Oh no. Oh, hell. Not this. Please, not this.”
Mag turned to see cat's eyes in the dark. Luna charged at the eyes with her horn, shouting, “Avaunt, thou tick!”
Heat and delirium burned Mag's world away.
“I hope you appreciate this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to wind her up that far?”
Mag sat in a shabby, red velvet chair next to a small wooden end table with a metal chalice full of some dark liquid. All of this was inside a great stone hall with great wooden beams high above. If there were walls or a ceiling, they were too far away to see; beyond a certain distance there was only the dark. In front of her sat herself.
The Mag in the other chair wasn't quite the same. She was taller. Her hands were steepled. She smiled gently. She wore a black steel tiara as thin as a wire, with a tiny white star of a gem set at its center just below her hairline. She had green cat's eyes. And she was more beautiful that Mag had ever looked.
“Relax,” said the Nightmare. “I only want to talk, and to make an offer. If you refuse, I will simply leave and wander the dreams of your people, looking for a willing host, harming neither you nor my old friend.” Such a gentle smile. Mag couldn't move, couldn't speak, and couldn't struggle. Unseen to the Nightmare a pink unicorn was making rude gestures.
There was a colossal crashing sound somewhere in the distance, followed by a world-ending shriek of rage and horror. "Luna", thought Mag.
The Nightmare ignored it. “I hope you'll forgive me for monologuing, but I have a feeling this discussion will get uncivilized if I let you speak at this point. Let me explain the situation." It raised a hand and pulled a steaming goblet out of the air.
With a sip of its drink, the Nightmare began. "I've been watching you from the inside. No, I didn't change anything. You don't have to worry about that. I only thought I'd get to know you a bit before introducing myself.” The Nightmare never seemed to blink. “I'll tell you what I've seen so far, as an expression of respect. Respect is something of a watchword of mine, believe it or not, and I realize it goes both ways. For instance, I do not possess people, whatever you've been told and whatever you imagine."
The Nightmare studied her fingernails. "But that's interesting, isn't it? That's the pattern I've been seeing all day. They've all been trying to simplify things for you. They give you simple answers to complicated questions, and you feel suspicious but you let it go. Or you make an assumption and they don't correct you until it becomes relevant. Then they pretend they understand everything you say, or at least Princess Celestia does. I know it annoys you, but don't blame them – the princesses have spent millennia leading a people that, shall we say, generally aren't very good at handling complex abstractions?" It crossed its legs. "I recommend taking this up with them, politely of course. Just remind them that you prefer difficult truths to misleading or simplified metaphors, and tell them you don't expect them to know everything, that you'll still respect them if they show their ignorance.”
There was another massive boom. Dust fell from the rafters.
The Nightmare laughed softly. “Oh, Luna, beautiful soul. You know, I love my hosts. I truly do. Especially the ones that survive. When you see her again, tell her I'm always there if she wants to talk.”
The pink unicorm made gagging noices, it helped a bit.
Another shriek. An icy breeze ruffled Mag's clothing.
“She has yet to understand the limits of courage, I see. Her fear isn't going to stop empowering me just because she's pushed past it. Tell her that as well, will you? But I'm getting distracted. Sooner or later she's going to collapse into despair, and then she'll be too numb to be afraid, at which point she'll only be fighting the strength I draw from your fear. And you're hardly afraid of me at all. Why is that? Oh, I see. You think you have nothing to lose.” The Nightmare sighed. “I sound like such a storybook villain. Let me clear up a few misconceptions you've fallen into. Firstly, I am not some kind of tempter. Or, if I am, 'temptation' is an unfair characterization. Think about it. Temptation is only offering a choice, or, more likely, pointing out a choice that my host hasn't noticed.”
The crash was further away now.
“Secondly, do you remember what Luna said about power and responsibility? That applies to everyone, even me. I am what I am, and what I am is something that runs on the fear and terror of others. I can't change that, so I use it responsibly – that is, in support of my goals. What are my goals? Self fulfillment. What fulfills me? The chance to offer choices to a host and see them grow as a result. You see? There's nothing sinister about that.”
Yeah because she couldn't just live out of scaring people with stories, or scary movies or whatever, could she?
It wasn't a shriek this time, but an anguished wail. There was no ensuing boom.
“Thirdly, a small correction. Celestia thinks I take away the volition of my hosts. Quite the opposite. Again, I point out options. Yes, sometimes my hosts develop new habits, and sometimes they discover that the things they really want are horrible by the reckoning of the society they belong to, but I would never stand in the way of my hosts. I didn't stop Luna when she decided to destroy all that she loved, and I certainly didn't force her to do it. I only taught her how. If she'd wanted something else, I would have helped her with that instead.”
Yes because people has never wanted things that are quite stupid in hindsight.
The Nightmare rested its head against the velvet of the chair. “Am I forgetting something? Never mind. I can simply come back if I have to. Let's bring this back to you and me. I should tell you I owe you a debt of gratitude for helping to let me into your world, and, if you'll let me, I would be interested in paying you back." It smiled again. "I'm looking for a new host. You aren't my first choice – I have my eye on a woman over in Eastern Europe, and I can hear her praying for divine intervention – but you have certain advantages I would be interested in nurturing, and you also have a hollowness inside of you that I would like to help fill.” Its brow furrowed. “You're starting to fear me more. Really? Well, I suppose that makes sense. I know how frightening it can be to face a choice. You're worried you'll make the wrong one. Does it help if I remind you that I won't hold a grudge against you if you refuse my offer? Nightmare Moon was the type to hold grudges, but I am not Nightmare Moon; that was Luna. Nightmare Moon was always Luna, and always will be. If it weren't then she wouldn't hate me so much. Yes, you understand.”
Mag had been waiting for another boom. There wasn't one. Oh, aunt Luna, please don't let me find you crying, Mag thought.
The Nightmare waved a hand. “Don't worry. She'll be fine when you come back, and if she doesn't like seeing you with me, I know we can talk her around. She trusts and loves you. And I can be very persuasive. The same goes for Celestia, who I've never had a chance to talk to. Now then, I put it to you. Would you like my help, or should I look for someone else who would appreciate my gifts, starting with that helpless woman in Eastern Europe? Accept me and I can show you how to help her, by the way. This isn't a hostage situation, regardless of what Luna thinks, the poor child.”
The Nightmare let Mag's mouth open. “Fuck off,” said Mag.
“Unimaginative and rude,” sighed the Nightmare. “Oh well. I leave you with a little tip; your magic is triggered by desires and emotions. You want something a lot and your emotions are strong? Your magic tries its best to make it happen. Those can be positive or negative emotions. Now off you go. Promise made, promise kept. Have a lovely evening.”
The stone hall and the chairs and chalices and promises all whirled away and Mag stood in the alabaster temple under the stars a few yards away from Luna, who was huddled on the floor and crying piteously.
Dammit, thought Mag. She walked forward and hugged Luna's head. Luna shoved her back and glared searchingly at Mag's eyes through glassy tears, saw round pupils, and collapsed into Mag's lap.
“I told it no,” said Mag.
“G-g-g-”
“I'm fine. It's gone for now.”
And here was Luna, invincible Luna, crying in her lap, silent except for the occasional snuffle. She didn't look to be stopping any time soon. It wasn't hard to guess that this had been building up for some time. She'd almost convinced Mag that she really was on top of things, and possibly would have pulled it off if life weren't bullshit unfair.
That made three of them who'd been faking it. Celestia with her smiles, Mag with bluster, and then Luna with, come to think of it, her own form of bluster.
So she pet Luna, have her a few apples and tried her best to be conforting and nurturing until both of them had calmed down.
Mag combed Luna's starry hair with her fingers. "It's just as well that Celestia adopted me. Of all these supernatural creatures, she's the person who makes the least sense to me, so she must be who I can learn the most from, right? Not that I couldn't have told you all to back off and let me live my garbage life, or anything. But seriously, what is with you people? Do you all constantly feel the need to gather acolytes? Is it like when I see a wild animal and the first thing I want to do is take it home and turn it into a pet? Don't answer that."
Luna had gone still and had stopped sniffling, though her eyes were still clenched shut.
"I guess all I'm saying is that you're the opposite of Celestia. You're the one who makes the most sense to me. Not that we're not different, or anything. For instance, you don't make everything about yourself. Oh and maybe Celestia does make a bit sence to me but is when she... does something stupid like she plans to do."
"I used to," said Luna thickly. "Don't blame yourself. It's what happens when you are shut up inside your own head for too long." She opened her eyes. "What did she tell you?"
"Who? Oh. It, and it's definitely an it, fed me this long and mostly pretty cliched Saturday morning cartoon villain line about wanting to help me. It had a couple of interesting things to say, and I'll run them by you, but I told it to fuck off. Then it put me back here and ran off to bedevil Eastern Europe."
Luna sat up quickly, alarmed. "Interesting things to say?"
"Yeah. Can the Nightmare lie?"
"Yes," said Luna.
"It told me that you guys keep oversimplifying your answers to my questions, and that I should tell you two that, believe it or not, I'd be happier with the truth. No, actually it said something a little meaner than that, but my version's better. So... Nightmare lie?"
Doubtfully, Luna said, "You ask me to risk giving you enough rope to hang yourself and half the world as well, but as you wish. I know not if it can lie, in the strictest sense, but she - it - will sometimes neglect to mention important details. For instance, it never told me it was teaching me to destroy myself. One gets the feeling it teaches this lesson often, no?"
"Teaching people to destroy themselves?"
"Even so."
"I don't know if that fits," said Mag. "It talked about choices."
"Oh, that. Yes, that was the bit that convinced me, long ago. It galls me to see it didn't affect you."
"We've got thousands of years of fairy tales about how convincing the devil is, and the Nightmare pretty much talks like Hollywood Satan. It was a good sales pitch, but it always is in the stories, and humans see too many advertisements every day to not be a little cynical about offers to 'help.' Then there's the fact that I heard you screaming. It told me we could talk you into accepting Nightmare Mag, since you trust me and the Nightmare considers itself persuasive, but you didn't sound so easy to persuade. I couldn't see myself walking up to you with cat's eyes and telling you everything would turn out right."
Luna shuddered. "I'm glad you are so familiar with the old stories of humans. Odd how your Hollywood Satan sounds so much like the Nightmare."
"He does, doesn't he? Maybe the Nightmare has been here before and people started telling stories as a warning, and the story of the devil made it all the way to the 21st century. Lucky us."
"That sounds a little unlikely."
"Sometimes oral tradition comes in handy. But here's another thing. Check this out." Mag reached into her pocket and pulled out a rock. Desire and strong emotion, but the rock hadn't changed. "Hm. Right. Either the Nightmare can lie after all, or I missed a step."
"Oh! You found the trigger?"
"The Nightmare told me what it was," said Mag.
"That worries me. Greatly."
"I hear you, but right now I'm sick of fretting about what other people are thinking all the time. Let's just go with it. Come on, tell me the next step."
"If you insist," said Luna.
Then it got technical, and stayed that way for the rest of the night.
Mag sat in bed with her back against the wall and her legs under the covers, bleary but awake, enraptured. A sea-blue sphere the size of a marble hovered in place between her hands and cast shadows in the shape of her fingers on the walls on either side of her.
She could do magic.
She could do magic.
A pink unicorn licked her face but she didn't let that distract her because...
SHE COULD DO MAGIC!
Author's Note
Yes, beta reader still wanted.
For those familiar with the original version, yes this Mag magic can go either way.
"Don't make the same mistake twice seems to indicate three mistakes, doesn't it? First you make the mistake. Then you make the same mistake. Then you make the same mistake twice. If you simply say, 'Don't make the same mistake,' you'll avoid the first mistake." - George Carlin
Brain Droppings 1998 book by George Carlin
"Class dismissed," said Luna tiredly. "Well, I say 'class,' but a class is over in the span of an hour or two, while I believe we spent the equivalent of a solid week or more on experimentation and study. You have a frightening work ethic when you slumber. Monomaniacal, I would say. The price, as you can see, is that sleep was even less restful than wakefulness, and now we have to go and chase down my foalish sister while you - and therefore we - feel like a mound of Cerberus vomit. I am sorry for making you work so hard Mag."
"Is okay, I am doing this for my new family." Mag threw off the covers and dragged herself to take a shower.
Mag stiff-armed her way into the convenience store that used to be her place of work. Mr. Bachchan, currently working the counter, saw her and went rigid.
This was a mistake.
"No worries, Mr. Bachchan, I'm just here as a customer." Mag took a Monster drink can out of the fridge. It would have been way too easy to take anything she need before and have blamed the robbers but not only that wasn't the person Mag was, Celestia would also not have approved.
"I'm glad you are here," said Mr. Bachchan. "After we talked on the phone and I, well, when I let you go, I heard that you were entertaining an important guest of some kind -"
Ah right, Celestia human form, how could she forget?
"If this is the start of an offer for my old job back, then no. I think we both know you should have fired me years ago." Mag grabbed a bag of beef jerky from the rack and dropped them on the counter alongside a ten dollar bill, giving an apologetic glance behind her at the massively fat man with the beard and windshield wipers. "Keep the change. I got something to do in a to in a hurry. Better luck with your next employee."
Mag ran out the door before he could say anything. She should not have go to the store, but she was hungry and she didn't want to save Celestia with an empty stomach.
"Thou shouldst have just made coffee to begin with."
"But I didn't because coffee alone wasn't enough; sorry." Mag folded the container of beef jerky as best she could while running and holding the cold energy drink under her elbow. It was about an hour before dawn and mercilessly cold out. She tried to think of a campire with happy memories included but she couldn't get her magic to warm her body. Then something else did.
"Thanks for the literal warming." Because who else could it be but her new aunt?
"It is my body too, at least for a while." Luna still sounded tired and Mag felt guilty. The nicotine withdrawal was also annoying her but she would endure, magic was a better drug.
"Celestia is not utterly without defenses, you realize that? In fact power wise she outranks the two of us right now."
Mag fumbled her breakfast into her left hand and used her right to cast her new light spell. She reveled in it for a moment, delighted in its wonderful blue glow, and set it a little above her shoulder, where it hovered.
"I know that and you know that but I don't want to lose her. Now I'm going to eat some dead animal and drink a quart of water, sugar and chemicals while stumbling down a hill. Remember to tune out my sense of taste when I get to the jerky."
"I do not object to the occasional taste of meat when it is a dream or headed to someone else's stomach, rememb - faugh! Thou spentest money on this drink? Didst thou know before thou bought it that it tasted thus?"
Mag powerwalked down the path to the lake. Instead of answering Luna she stuffed a chip of jerky into her mouth.
"Why you must torture yourself with this... this junk?"
Mag swallowed. "To wake me up. I see neither sister is a morning person, that's kinda funny with Celestia job being to rise the sun."
"What morning? I see only night, a judgment I am well qualified to make. Thou shouldst also have brought a lantern. And I cannot imagine how thou canst be of such good cheer when thy head pounds like a freight train and thine eyes burn like its engine furnace."
"I can do magic and a pink unicorn is cheering me up," said Mag as said pink unicorn made funny faces to her. "And I'm off to cast a spell I've never done except in dreams by throwing myself into a frozen lake, and then I'm going to hunt down a goddess, who is also my adoptive mother, so she can yell at me, and then we can yell back at her. It's a glorious morning."
"You sound insane. Why have I not disconnected my sense of taste from thine? There. I shan't connect it again until thou hast eaten another meal and brushed thy teeth."
Mag stopped at the end of the path. It had frozen over again. She drained the energy drink can, set it upright on the ground, stomped it down to a flat circle of metal, and put it back in her jacket pocket. Then she walked to the lake and started on the rest of the beef jerky.
The lake had frozen over again. She hadn't brought an ice pick, but the ice wasn't all that thick, this being California. She broke the ice with the heel of her boot, dragging shards out as she went.
Someone crashed down along the path. Mag let her light spell dissipate just as a darting spot of light from a small flashlight came out of the woods, followed by the fat man who had been in line behind her, gulping air. Apparently he'd run the whole way.
"Don't - " he panted.
"Breathe, guy," said Mag.
"Don't do it," he said.
"Don't do what? No, don't answer. You just keep breathing, and let me get back to this. I'm kind of in a hurry."
"Don't do it," he said again. He had his hands on his knees and he looked like he might pass out, but his eyes were on Mag's.
Mag left hand moved and touched the guy forehead, the fat guy felt asleep.
"Lunaaa! Why did you do that?"
"Because he believes you are going to commit suicide. Just move him next to the lake so he doesn't end drowning."
"But he is fat and I am not strong!" Mag protested as she started to move the fat guy away from the frozen lake water, it took her a few minutes.
"Great; is done and I got muscles hurting I didn't even know I had, now what?"
"Get back to breaking the ice."
"Fine."
Mag went back to breaking up the ice.
"Good, now, lean down and face the water."
Mag did so.
"As I have said, you need not worry about watching the water for frayed edges; I am a warden of the ways, and I can see the edges without concerning myself with fraying."
"I remember," said Mag.
"Now concentrate. Feel. Take your time; the purer your state of mind, the smoother the transition."
Mag tried to do so, by imagining herself punching the Eldest. It worked somehow.
"Now, have you cleared your mind? Good. Breathe, breathe again, trigger, and the edge is at cobra hood stripes Pagliacci. Huh. What is a Pagliacci? Never mind; GO!"
Mag closed her eyes, thought on hugging Celestia, pictured Luna's collection of images, and hopped into the hole in the ice. Winter mountain lake water bit through Mag's clothes and into her bones. Before her feet touched the bottom of the lake, the spell kicked in and the cold between the worlds sucked the rest of the warmth out of her in one airless moment.
Gravity went perpendicular on her and dumped her on her back. She'd done it. It hurt like blazes and there was a thick fog in the air around her, but she'd done it. She had to try hard to not throw up.
"I had hoped - oh, this cold is hateful. I miss being immune to it. I had hoped Celestia would be in view, unlikely as it would have been. Very well. Can you move? You could cast that warming spell I showed you."
"Why the fog?" Mag said through chattering teeth. Campire, Celestia,, a hourse on fire, the sun on sunmer. Nope, she wasn't getting it.
"The mark of a nearly botched casting of the traveling spell. It is to be expected. You are inexperienced, distracted, tired, not entirely awake, and human. In fact your performance is impressive, upon reflection."
Mag rolled onto her side and dragged a numb hand to her lips.
"Ready? Okay. Sunflower pottery, warm pink clothes, hot summer day."
'Memory, sunflower pottery, imagination, warm pink clothes, memory, hot summer day. Work, spell work, I don't want to be wet and cold!'
Mag exhaled thick heat through her fingers. Most of the icewater sublimated. The cold of the in-between lingered, but at least she was dry. The warm then expread all over her body, but still not warm enough.
"I suppose we can practice that one more later. Casting through one's hands is even more different from Equestrian magic than I expected."
"I'll get better," said Mag."And didn't you cast using my hand with no problem when you made that fat guy fall asleep?"
"That was because dreams and sleep are part of my domain, and honesty you have barely started using magic, while I have way more experience. Now, we must discuss our next move. Judging by the slope of the hill, the lake is a few miles away. We could walk, though I must stress the importance of quickness and silence."
Mag started walking downhill. "Because it'd attract the collectors if I were too loud?" she whispered.
"That is the most likely result, yes."
"The collectors that collect out-of-the-ordinary things in the valley and take them to the world under the lake?" said Mag.
"I dread where you're going with this."[/]
"Would it work, though?"
"It would most likely would, unfortunately."
"All right," said Mag. "Want to do it that way?"
"No, but I prefer it to letting Celestia wander alone. Let us explore other options first. For how long can humans run?"
"Career marathon runners? For many hours. Me? Two or three minutes. How quick can you teach me to teleport?"
"That depends on how good your arithmancy is."
"That would be no. And if arithmancy involves a lot of math, I doubt teleportation is something I'll be doing anytime soon."
"I certainly have no excess of love for teleportation. It's one of the most cerebral spells I've ever come across. Its uses are many, but one must have an intuitive grasp of certain mathemagical concepts and a head for fast calculations. Portals can be easier, but for that you must have left a marker on the place you want the portal to take you."
"In short, I should start shouting for Celestia while I walk and hope either she or a collector finds us."
"Ugh. Let me think a moment."
"Is there a way to set up some kind of magical dog whistle that lets me get her attention from a distance without giving our position away to anything else?"
"We might devise something between the three of us at some point, some secret symbol, but I can think of nothing perfectly safe that would work at this moment. Then again, we can at least narrow down the possible creatures that might find us if you send out a magical sign she would recognize, but which does not give away our position."
"The sign isn't hard, at least. Or maybe it is, how do I even send a pink unicorn dancing that smells of blueberries? Is there a way we can get that into the air? Maybe project it onto the clouds and hope she figures it out?"
"Or we could just try projecting a pink unicorn. First, intensify the light spell, change the color to pink and shape it like a unicorn, then point it at the clouds."
Mag cast the spell again, held it between her hands a moment, made it pink and brighter... and the light went out as soon as she tried to change the shape.
"Nay. You altered the tertiary vector too quickly and breached the spell's morphic field when the shape was not solid enough. Summon it again."
"I love it when you say 'nay.' It's just the best pun. And you did never teach me how to change the light ball shape dear aunt."
"What pun? Nay, it doesn't matter. Stop giggling. Thank you. And you are right, think of the shape like it is... a balloon. Round is the best shape, but you can use others. You just have to make sure the pressure of the magic inside is equal in all parts, or the magic will break the balloon. Does that make sence?"
"Mmm, maybe."
"Now try again."
Mag stopped walking for the sake of concentration. This time she got it right... after several failures. Then the spell failed when she moved.
"I don't think I can walk and cast this spell at the same time," whispered Mag.
"Then stand and cast. I will watch for threats; concentrate on maintaining the spell."
A few seconds later something growled some 20 yards to her right.
"Sodding blazes, that was quick. Run, Mag. Drop the spell and run."
Mag dropped the spell and ran. After a night; well more like ten days, of Luna telling her what to do it was getting a little old, but she had not liked that growl. It sounded happy to see her.
"Peryton. A creature most like a cross between a deer and a bird. It feeds on the shadows of thinking creatures, a feeding which the victim typically does not survive, perhaps because one needs one's shadow to live, or perhaps because the peryton's loathing for all mortals other than itself incites it to murder those creatures it catches. Perytons can fly, but they are clumsy in the air. They can run, but their taloned hind legs are not suited to it. As such, the peryton must act as an ambush predator, and loses interest in fleeing prey provided the prey is quick enough."
Mag picked up speed, but could hear something gaining on her. After a few seconds of running she turned and saw the strange, front-heavy deer thing hopping behind her with the front-legs-then-back-legs gait of a rabbit. It had iridescent feathers, green fur, two smallish prongs for antlers, and an intent expression. Mag ran faster.
"If we make a habit of wandering other worlds, a jogging regimen may be in order. What do you think?"
"Talk later," gasped Mag.
"Certainly."
Had Mag thought less of that fat man for being so out of breath? She couldn't remember; she didn't right now, at any rate. Her heart drummed in her chest and she couldn't get enough air.
On the plus side, it had taken less than 10 minutes to shake off the peryton. On the negative side, she'd wasted almost 10 minutes. If Celestia could teleport to the lake, she would be long gone at this point.
"Another light show?" said Mag when she'd recovered a bit.
"Yes, for lack of a better plan."
The second time had a more positive result: nothing happened. Even if it was kind of funny to see a pink unicorn on the clouds.
"How long should we keep this up?" asked Mag; magic was tiring and she was really tired.
"You are well winded, still, so you may as well maintain it for as long as you can. I had thought we'd catch up to Celestia. Curse the fat man! He slowed us down."
"I think you wanted us to move slower anyway," said Mag. "You wanted us to get better prepared. Coffee, cookies since you don't want me to smoke, maybe a tire iron for the more rigorous forms of interspecies diplomacy. It made sense at the time, too. But Celestia wasn't there and I panicked."
"You do not blame me, I hope."
"No, though I wish you'd been a better guesser for when Celestia would leave. Or that we would have woken up earlier or... that Celestia had decided to not leave. But what's life but always wishing for things to be different?"
"As do I but dear niece, remember that we do what we can, not what we want. Even Regents have limitations."
"No offense meant. You know, to be honest, I was hoping the internet would keep her up all night and she'd forget all about leaving until it was too late. I should have found her a website with Bejeweled or Tetris to go along with Wikipedia. Or give her a book of Sudoku puzzles, but she is smart, she would probably have finished it fast."
"'Should have' and 'I wish I had' are useless considerations now. The past is the past and trying to charge it is dangerous and foalish."
"Fine. I've got my breath back, I'm sick of this, and I'm feeling drastic," said Mag.
"Plan C, then. Very well."
Mag let the spell drop, stuck the tips of her pinkies into her mouth, and whistled. It was a proper whistle, the kind that startled birds out of trees and traveled for miles to bounce off of distant mountains. The pink unicorn whistled too, it was a jaunty tune.
"CELESTIAAAAA!" Mag yelled, and dropped into a sprinter's stance. She didn't think she'd be able to run for very long this time, so if she had to bolt then she'd need to make it count.
Two things teleported behind Mag. One was a 10-foot mass of black smoke with two tiny eyes glowing white like stars. The other was Celestia. She grabbed Mag and teleported the both of them away.
They landed next to the lake. The smoke didn't follow, or if it had, it wasn't moving very quickly.
"Margaret Taylor Wilson, what do you think you're doing?" said Celestia. Mag noticed, to her dark delight, that Celestia looked nearly as tired as Mag felt. The internet could be so cruel to insomniacs. Maybe she could get a pony like name? Later, she had a suicidal goddess to argue with.
"Don't you mom voice me this time," said Mag. "You snuck off to do something dangerous, and aunt Luna says it'd be less dangerous if we came with you. What are you doing?"
Celestia glared. "Luna, is that true? Is that what you told her?"
"Yes, it is," said Luna. "Do you deny it? You slunk away into peril as we slept, an unnecessary risk carried out in an underhanded manner. What if we lost you dear sister, then what? You are not the only one hurting!"
"You would have done the same thing in my place and I am sorry, pain makes one do stupid things." said Celestia and have Mag's body a hug.
"Yes, and you would have tried to chase after me just as I did, except you would have failed, because I had to teach Mag magic in her sleep. Show her, Mag."
Mag stepped away from Celestia hug and conjured her sea-blue marble of marvelous light and held it up for Celestia's inspection. Then she did the pink unicorn light thing. Then she tried something else and found herself with pink hair.
"You two worked that out in a single night?" said Celestia. "And Mag, I don't pink suits you with those clothes."
"I rather think 'a single night' does little justice to how long it took, however technically accurate the statement," said Luna.
And Celestia had to hold Mag so she didn't fall because of how tired the human woman was.
"Can we go to my house and sleep?" Mag mumbled.
"I see. And you went to such great lengths to do something so dangerous. Mag, I'm honestly amazed at your new abilities and I'd love to help you develop them in whatever way I can, but I wish you hadn't come. Luna must have greatly overstated the dangers of the lake for people like me. And... you shouldn't have to push yourself so hard for me."
[i["Is that so?" asked Luna.
"Yes," answered Celestia firmly.
"The Plinth of Pasithee."
"It only activates if you touch it. Do you think I'm going to lean on it while I'm distracted?"
"The Rattling God."
"What would he be doing in there? Anyway, I hear he's mellowed over the centuries. I doubt he's even still looking for us."
"Oil rat ambush."
"I'd live, and, what's more, how would you two help with that?"
"One of us might see it coming."
"I'd still live," said Celestia.
"Irritating the collectors?"
"They would take me to the sculptor, and then I'm sure we could discuss it."
"You and your discussions," said Luna. "How would you negotiate with, say, a bookslide?"
"I can fly, Luna."
"You can also die. You were not always so cavalier about danger. Look at how tired and miserable you have made your daughter, she is so tired she can't even stand on her own."
"Please stop." said Mag almosy yawning. "This sounds like the kind of argument that goes on forever and, like, I'm glad I'm here and I'm not leaving, but I also want to go home at some point so I can go the buck to sleep. Can we please skip to the end of this argument?"
Celestia smiled. "What an excellent idea. I'll just teleport you back, make sure you get home okay, and return to what I was originally doing."
"No, the other end," said Mag.
"Wherein you accept we're coming with you," said Luna. "Or the third end, were we three go to Mag's home right now, take showers, cry about stupid we are, and sleep all together like a happy family. Even if you tend to kick and I tend to talk while we sleep. And I don't know what Mag does but I am sure it will be irritating as well."
"Oh, fine. We can do the second end, but only because, believe it or not, I trust you both. Yes, even you, Mag, except where your own well-being is concerned."
"Well, obviously," said Mag. "I'm a mortal and stuff. If I see any rattling oil rat gods, I'll be more than happy to hide behind you and look as inedible as I can. Unless is flammable oil, then I might want to see it burn."
"Good, but that's not what I meant. Look into the lake, please," said Celestia.
"Sure," said Mag, and walked up to the lake.
It was a normal enough lake, except for the cloudy but perfectly still water and the wrecked towers of junk metal protruding out of the surface here and there in the distance. It made a decent mirror, which, Mag supposed, was what Celestia had in mind.
"Yes, fine, I look like hell," said Mag."But this is partly your fault."
"Luna, we need to talk about how a teacher should threat a student who doesn't take care of herself. I've got plenty of tips, because I know the type."
Mag raised a finger. "In my defense, I was wearing concealer and foundation yesterday and I wasn't panicked because my new mother was being suicidal. And can you hold me before I fall on my ass?"
"Your concealer must be a very impressive product if it could cover the way you're swaying gently right now," said Celestia but still held Mag.
"You know very well why I am so tired." said Mag. "Hey, I have an idea. Instead of questioning each other's judgment, let's go into the lake and get this over with. You're in charge, so what next?"
"Yes, I am," said Celestia. "On that note, let me explain something. The world under the lake, or 'Underlake' as some call it, is a sort of repository for all the most dangerous things in the valley. It has other purposes, of course, but that's the most relevant one right now, because we are here to retrieve one of the most dangerous things in existence - knowledge. Specifically, any knowledge we can find regarding the destruction of worlds. Planar curses, existential weapons, supercosmological phenomena, the practical effects of paradoxes. And by 'we,' I mean 'I.' Neither of you is to help with the search, but to act as a lookout. Do not look too closely at the things I examine, or you run the risk of bringing something back with us that we didn't intend to bring back. Just do what you came here to do."
"Watch your back," said Mag.
"Exactly. Is that acceptable to you?"
"Yep, I doubt I could help look for what you need even if I wanted to," said Mag.
"Luna?"
"I suppose," said Luna.
"You suppose?"
"Yes. Yes, I see the necessity. Look by yourself if you must, and we will act as scouts. Even if we are bucking tired, I can control Mag body if she falls asleep since this does count as an emergency. Oh and by the way, ever heard of family therapy? We could use that."
"Fine. Always make sure you can clearly see my eyes, both of you. We must be able to see each other at all times. If you get lost, stay where you are. If you can't stay where you are, stay as close as you can to where you last got lost, find somewhere safe, and stay there instead. If you meet the Regent, be honest, be polite, and tell him everything you can about my whereabouts and what we're doing here. And if you cannot stop yourself from being rude, then stop yourself from talking. We have to talk to him sooner or later in any case, because I plan to ask him permission for anything I borrow."
"Oh, I thought this was a heist," said Mag.
"I'm afraid not. If you want a heist, you'll have to go to a different princess."
"It's me. She means me. I am a ninja, clad in shadows. I should teach you, it would be fun."
"Yeah, I worked that out," said Mag.
"Good," said Celestia.
"Hey," said Mag, "how come we can't just go to the curator in the first place and ask him for help?"
Celestia looked at the ground and kicked at it a bit with her forehoof. "Well..."
"Celestia Mislikes him," said Luna cheerfully.
"'Mislike' is such a strong word," said Celestia.
Luna pressed on. "You didn't want to use the word, which is why you couldn't contrive of any way to describe your opinion of him. Right? But I, your loving sister, saw your plight and offered the solution, which is to mare up and admit that you are prepared to go to great lengths to avoid spending a moment more with him than necessary, and have thus designed your plan of attack with that in mind. You needn't thank me. Of course, thanking me would certainly be more mature."
Celestia sighed. "Thank you, Luna."
"Of course."
"Well, Luna, since you're here today and feeling so helpful, would you please tell me where an edge is so I don't have to sit here waiting for a fray?"
"I saw one a moment ago when Mag was admiring herself, a surprisingly simple one. 'Apaitijo.' Be wary; I see no danger, but there is some strangeness about it that I haven't yet fathomed."
Mag spoke up. "I know this spell, so I could - "
"No," said Celestia.
"No," said Luna.
"Luna has just said there's some kind of irregularity here," said Celestia.
"Your mother is far better equipped to deal with any problems that arise, and you are too tired." said Luna.
"I've been doing this longer than you can imagine. Whatever the problem, you can trust me to deal with it."
"And, while you've demonstrated a great talent and fascination with the magical arts, your version of this spell is still, shall we say, lacking?"
"I just thought I'd offer," said Mag and had to fight herself to not close her eyes and sleep.
"For which we're both grateful. Grab my tail, please, just like before. Ready? Good." She dropped somewhat abruptly into the lake, and Mag went down after her.
Luna had a point. Celestia's traveling spell was almost pleasant compared to Mag's. What was less pleasant was landing heavily on a polished stone floor, then looking up to see Celestia looking glumly at a large wooden door.
"We landed in front of the workshop," said Celestia.
"That was what was wrong with the edge," said Luna. "He tampered with it to direct all supplicants to his doorstep. We can hardly turn away from the door and help ourselves to the collection when the option of seeking his help from the first moment of our arrival is an option. Do you think he overheard us earlier?"
"Yes," said Celestia.
"Mmm so soft and comfy." said Mag half asleep while hugging Celestia.
"Great mother you turned out to be. Making your child worry like that."
Celestia lowered her head "I am sorry."
"Is not me who you have to apologise to."
"I know... and I will do so once we go back to Mag's home.'
Author's Note
A beta reader still wanted.
Of course Luna is a ninja, what did you expect?
"People always said that I didn't give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn't true. I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old, although some people have an image of me as being old then. I was forty-two. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in." - Rosa Parks
Rosa Parks: My Story 1992 book by Rosa Parks and James Haskins
Celestia stepped up to the door, composed herself, and knocked twice. The door swung inward, revealing a room the size of an aircraft hangar. Mag had somehow climbed over Celestia and was hugging her like she was the most comfortable giant pillow pony thing ever..Normally she would have fallen, but she seemed to be sticking to Celestia somehow.
The floor was more smooth stone, thousands of square yards of it, so polished and level that you could set a basketball down anywhere at all and it wouldn't roll a millimeter. The room, if 'room' could be applied to something so large that being in it felt like being outside, was also a mess. Rough cubes of various metals, mostly copper, bronze, brass, that kind of thing, lay scattered and stacked with no system of organization or eye for decor. Scrap and wreckage littered the floor as well, piles of steel shingles or scales, drifts of iron leaves, mounds of speckled wood ash and an apparently limitless array of other absent-minded arrangements of debris, waste, and raw material were all strewn around the space.
At the center of the room there was a worktable taller than a two-story building, and behind the worktable stood a giant.
He looked like a stocky human more than anything else, but with no eyes or eye sockets, and too many fingers with too many joints. He wore an apron of some kind of thick, stiff cloth, and something like pants. He was enormous.
Some tiny metallic thing fluttered down from the distant rafters of the room and landed on the giant's shoulder. The giant turned to it for a moment and turned back.
The giant spoke. His voice was so inhumanly deep that some syllables were simply too low for Mag's ears to register. "Cordial greetings to you, glorious one. You have chosen to make your presence known in the proper way, I see, but elected to let your most honorable sister wander. Do you plan to distract me while she digs through my collection?"
"I am here," said Luna.
"Oh? But is that not a mortal voice I hear?"
Then Celestia and Luna told their story. Mag noticed she didn't merit an introduction, or would have if she wasn't almost asleep. Also if she had been awake she would have noticed how the two Regents of a dead World
"Why did you not examine them while you were there the first time?" said the giant, whose title was apparently "sculptor," or "milord" if you were feeling familiar. The pink unicorn was the one taking notes and paying attention, Mag was so tired she was wondering why her body was refusing to just go the buck to sleep as Luna would say if she wasn't Luna but actually Mag pretending to be her.
"I preferred to consider the situation in a more comfortable place, so I left as soon as I felt able," said Celestia.
Back in Equestria, Luna entered the mind of a mortal -
"Why did you bring a mortal with you to Equestria?" said the sculptor.
"My own reasons," said Celestia.
and then the three of them returned to camp. Neither Celestia nor Luna mentioned Earth, humans, or any detail on where they'd set up.
The sculptor noticed this. "What are you not telling me?"
"I think we've covered every relevant detail," said Celestia.
"For instance, you didn't provide a name for your mortal."
"This is Mag Wilson," said Celestia.
Well, there was the introduction. She would have to make the best of it... or would have but she was too tired. The pink unicorn made Mag wave a hand to say hello and then Mag finally felt asleep.
Then the weirdest thing happened. Mag saw herself in a dream talking to the Regent.
"Hello, milord Regent." said the dream Mag with a pink voice.
"And what are you?" said the sculptor.
"A white human woman being puppeted by a construct of her imagination because her conscious mind just went to sleep."
The thing on his shoulder fluttered. "Your first lie," said the sculptor. "I'm told you are brown, not white." The regent seemed to ignore the whole construct of her imagination thing, even if Celestia... well she seemed confused.
"It's just an expression. It means Mag's skin is paler than some peoples'. Milord."
"Oh, a metaphor," said the sculptor disdainfully.
"I'll try to warn you next time I'm about to use one."
"Or you could be silent," said the sculptor.
"Yes Regent sir." Then the pink unicorn stopped puppeting Mag and have Dream Mag a piña colada that tasted like strawberry pizza. Dream Mag wondered if Luna was watching things like she was.
The giant rested his strange hands on the table, palms down. He didn't look in her direction, but then again, he had no eyes. "I have taken up the responsibility of keeping a collection of dangerous devices, ideas, and knowledge here my world, with the aim of learning to counter them, or, in some cases, to suppress them. Yes, sometimes I work to suppress the transmission of dangerous ideas between the worlds. My collectors know which books they must collect from travelers, what thoughts must be kept in quarantine in the worlds in which they belong. Mortal construct, can you guess which world produces the greatest number of things I must ban? You may speak."
"Humans," said Mag in a pink voice, meaning it was the pink unicorn again.
"Earth," said the sculptor.
"Yes, sir."
He shook his head. "I would say you are not welcome here, human construct, but how can I? So many of the things here belong to humanity that some parts of my world look like an outpost of Earth, even though humans so rarely venture out of theur mirrors. Tell me, when humans makes war, do they still light wild boars on fire and chase them into the enemy?"
"No, they mostly just drop explosives out of flying machines. It's more efficient. Sir."
"So I've read," said the sculptor. "Princesses, your majesties, I cannot help you at this time. You look for knowledge. For our purposes, we might separate the knowledge in my possession into two categories: those which humans have found, and those which humans have not found. As for the first, it would be useless to give you information you can as easily get from your human friends, and as for the second, I have no intention of putting yet more dangerous information within their reach. However, once the mortal has died and Luna is free, if you leave the human world and swear not to return to Earth with the information you glean here, whatever it may be, I will give you access to my archives. Good day." He started fiddling with some tiny metallic thing on his worktable.
Celestia blinked a couple of times but didn't move. "Lord sculptor, I consider myself a good judge of character. Knowing my reputation, would you agree?"
"No, I wouldn't. I heard about that 'Nightmare Moon' incident. Now Princess Luna stands in front of me, such as she is, walking free and more or less alive. This is not an acceptable risk. If you had sense, you would leave her here."
Celestia's features went hard. She opened her mouth to speak. Then Mag's body covered Celestia mouth with her hands and she spoke in a voice so pink it was irritating.
"Your sculptorness, what if I asked if we could see the books in your human section?"
"Who is spea - oh, the mortal construct again. Why do you want to see the human library? Everything there is already known to humans and therefore to your creator's people."
Mag's body gave the sculptor a smile so good Mag herself wouldn't have been able to do better if she was the one controlling it, even if the Regent was supposedly blind and might not be able to appreciate it. Or maybe it actually could since being a Regent maybe he could see anyway.
"Humans know all kinds of things they don't tell each other. I'll bet one of them knew something about magic at some point in history, and, from the sounds of it, there are probably copies of that person's notes."
He frowned a colossal frown. "Human books of dark magic? I have more than you two can carry." Now Mag smiled for real instead of the pink unicorn doing it. "And as the books are the property of your creator people, and your creator is an individual of good standing with my library except insofar
Then Dream Mag found herself moving her body mouth. "Please give me what's is mine then."
And after that Mag felt in such a heavy sleep she did not see what her body was doing anymore.
"Interesting human you brought here." The sculptor said to Celestia, noticing that Mag had fully fallen asleep."What sort of dark magic books was she looking for? I overheard you earlier. Planar curses, existential weapons, supercosmological phenomena, the practical effects of paradoxes, and similar topics. However since she is not awake to say so..."
"Then what will you do?" Celestia asked.
"Not give her anything of course, but she can come to look for a book when she wakes up."
Celestia frowned but she said nothing to avoid Mag getting hurt or the human losing her new mother.
"So I will now show you the way out," said the sculptor. He pulled out one of his cubes of brass out of a pocket, and, with the sound of shrieking metal, he flattened into a rough dish. He set it on the floor, pulled out his flask, and poured water into it.
Then rudely showed Celestia and Mag into the water. Celestia had no time to look for an edge and didn't even have time to ask because before she knew it she was outside the World and floating on the lake with Mag still glued to her back.
The sculptor had just used his Regent privileges to kick them out his World.
Celestia left the lake and a peryton saw Celestia and bolted or tried to, Celestia turned it to ashes since she was angry.
"Well, what have we learned today dear older and wiser sister?" Luna asked using Mag's mouth.
"Besides the fact that my daughter needs to sleep regularly?" Celestia asked and scared away some abomination far away just with her look alone.
"Very well that works. By the way, the Nightmare is back."
"What?!" Celestia then looked closely at Mag. "Are you two all right?"
"It made an offer to Mag, Mag cast her out, and the Nightmare left peacefully," said Luna.
"But where is it now?"
"Earth," said Luna. "It said something about Eastern Europe, Mag can probably show you the place to you on a map later."
Celestia began to pace. "But it could be anywhere tomorrow, and somewhere else again the next day. We must find its host and keep them contained, or else who knows what could happen?"
"Without a book of dangerous human magic to steal from us, it won't be that terrible. Is very likely the Nightmare can't actually do anything the host is unable to do by herself. And now it has a mere mortal instead of a Regent since the Eldest is not a woman and the Nightmare in unlike to offer something he will accept anyway."
"Luna! Why are you so calm about this? What if she gets to empower a tyrant? Don't you loathe tyranny?"
"I do loathe tyranny but I do know the Nightmare, the best we can do is try to ignore her and she will seek us out."
"Really? Then I wonder what the consequences would be for one of Earth already politically powerful tyrants to gain the power of the Nightmare," said Celestia."Wouldn't you be more worried then?"
"If she does that we would soon find out Then we could invite the Nightmare for tea and see how desperate she gets to try to win me or Mag over."
Celestia blinked "I see, you think the Eldest will get involved somehow."
"Of course he will, insane or not is his World. And Mag mentioned stories and legends about to her World dealing with beings like the Nightmare before."
"Fair enough," said Celestia
"Let's finish this discussion at Mag's home," said Celestia. She teleported them to the mirror.
Using Mag's body, Luna made sure to hold tight to Celestia as they passed through the mirror...
... and burst out of the California lake together. Dawn had come and the sun was behind the treetops. Celestia broke through the ice on the surface of the lake by flinging her wings open; water and shards of ice sprayed to either side of her. She shook out her mane like a model in a shampoo commercial. Luna lurched out of the lake on all fours, apparenty the spell Mag had used to stick to Celestia had ended.
Luna looked up to see something of a tableau. The shore was absolutely crowded with people. Most of them were EMTs in wading boots and warm clothes. A coroner stood by, leaning against a tree and shivering. The fat man sat on a nearby gurney, wearing two trauma blankets and looking teary. There was even a small news crew with a handheld camera, though no one had a microphone. The camera's red light was on.
There were ten humans onshore, not counting the sleeping Mag herself, and all of them were staring at Mag's body, completely ignoring Celestia as if she did not exist.
Then Celestia took in a human form that looked like the a princess out of a fairy tale. And in voice almost but not quite wonderful to be true yelled "Surprise! Magic is real!"
And then she teleported them into Mag's home. The effort taken was terrible so Celestia dropped herself in Mag couch and felt asleep.
Luna covered her sister with a blanket and found herself with no one else to talk to.
"Mmm. What would Mag do in my place? Onwards, to the Google!"
Author's Note
A beta reader is still wanted.
This is the big moment the rewrite had been heading to, leaving Luna alone with access to the Internet!
"The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it." - Marcus Aurelius
Meditations, volumen IV, 1792 English translation by Richard Graves of Marcus Aurelius Latin original.
When Mag woke up, she noticed that her house wasn't as clean as usual. There were posters in the walls, movie posters of old and classic movies like "Casablanca" and "All Dogs go to Heaven". There was even a picture of her drawing with a marker on Celestia sleeping face, and childhood pictures of herself were she was with old friends. There was also a new table, and four chairs.
And she could somehow guess her fridge would be fully stocked if she opened it.
"Luna, I think we need to define what counts as an emergency when it comes to taking control of my body." Then again, at least this meant she didn't have to go shopping herself for a while.
"Celestia did reveal magic to the World on live Tv." Luna said using Mag's mouth in the most deadpan tone possible.
"Okay, fair point... but what does that have to do with the changes in my house?"
"I sold Celestia big shinny rock and got money to expend. Then after I got food I decided to redecorate. You have been asleep for a week."
"What." Now that did explain why her nails looked so good, Luna must have taken care of then.
"Also your hair natural color seems to be pink now and yes the carpet does match the drapes."
"What?" Mag ran to the bathroom, saw herself in the mirror and... yes it looked like Luna was right after she checked under the clothes.
"You are the one who did this to yourself, remember?"
"Can... can you fix this or teach me how?" Mag didn't think pink was her color but then again, she didn't use to think she would be happier if she was adopted by an alien pony goddess.
"Mag, this wasn't just the equivalent of magical hair dye, you changed something about yourself permanently. And it has been a week so it set in, you are lucky it was something so harmless. Take this as a warning of the dangers of casting magic without having a clue of what the fudge you are doing."
"Fine, but if I change my eyes or grow a horn I want your help to fix that. And couldn't you have fixed my hair while I was asleep for a week?"
"The Eldest offered to keep trouble away from us until Celestia woke up if I didn't."
"What? That son of a... Celestia has not woken up yet?"
"She has been pushing herself too much, more than you did. And Earth magic being so thin didn't help. She is in basically a state of sleep healing and so waking her up would be a bad idea."
Mag ran to her couch but Celestia wasn't there, then she ran to her bed and noticed that her bed had been replaced by a King sized bed, or in this case, Goddess sized bed.
Celestia was sleeping in the bed and she smelled of expensive soap.
"Did... did you give her a bath?"
"Yes, it wasn't easy, but even with the reveal of magic most people still cannot see my sister."
"You said most... who saw her?"
"I had to give her a bath outside since she didn't fit in your bathtub, a hobo and a few children saw her."
"Okay." said Mag despite the fact things weren't okay. "How has the whole reveal of magic worked out?"
"Most people seems to think is fake, but there is a minority that thinks is real. There has not been any coverup attempt as far as I know."
"And as soon as I go out some wizard or witch will try to.kidnap me, right?"
"Celestia didn't woke up yet, so the Eldest is still keeping trouble away from us."
"Wonderful, is there anything I can do to help Celestia wake up sooner?"
"Unless you can increase the ambient magic about ten times? No."
"Then... what can I do then?"
"I warded the house as best as I could, I even use some of Celestia hair and fur for that. So... we could continue our magic lessons to let you be better prepared when trouble comes. And later we could go out to have some fun, since living in a self imposed house arrest would drive both of us crazy... maybe a tad looney. That was a joke, you can now laugh."
"Ha ha. So... what will I learn to do in Looney Luna Magic school?"
"Go to sleep and find out, but later. Now go to use the Google and read the reactions to the revealing of magic, you may notice something I didn't."
Mag did just that, but didn't know what exactly to look for.
"She... She has a fanclub?"
"Yes, it started as a joke in a web forum, but after a few days... well let's just say I wouldn't want any of those people near my sister."
"What the hell? Someone drew porn of her human form?"
"It is the Internet Mag, isn't it made for porn?"
"Shouldn't you be... more angry? This is your sister we are talking about!"
"Mag, there was a lot of erotica about my sister when Equestria was still around. Not so much about myself due to my... thousand years time out on the moon, but is something both of us have got used to."
"But she is my mother! I do not want to watch porn of her!"
"Then don't, there is a safe search option on the Google."
"But that might block something relevant..." Mag protested then used the safe search option anyway.
With that done, the things she found were less mental scarring.
"Hey... some kids drew Celestia flying in her pony form."
"Save the drawings, I think she will like them."
"There is also drawing of her biting someone head off. I guess safesearch isn't perfect or the drawing is jusy too badly done."
"Save that one too, she might find it amusing."
"Luna... I am going to become... not human?"
"Why are you asking that? And no, I don't think so, despite the pink hair you are still very much human and think like one."
"Because I am scared... and maybe because letting a literal goddess live in my body may change me?"
"To live is to a change a little bit every day, is it not? Do not fear change itself, change can be good or bad, and if you end becoming not human, that will be because you want to stop being one, or because I couldn't stop you from doing something stupid, or maybe something of me may rub in you.. I hope is my charming personality and good looks. You could use more friends, maybe someone to help you warm at night, maybe a lover."
"Don't lie to me Luna, you are a loner too, maybe not as much as me, but I think that in that we are alike."
"I am not Celestia, I am not going to smile and pretent to be okay, because I am not okay. I am also not in my own body, and going out and making friends wouldn't be what would count as an emergency . Not while you were sleep for days and I worried sick you wouldn't wake up!"
Mag sat down on the couch, her couch was still the same at least, had Luna used the couch as a bed?
"We... we are quite broken aren't we? A goddess with no world, her sister who also has no body and me... who has lost her faith in humanity goodwill so much I trust the first talking equine I find instead." Mag was not crying, the tears were from Luna or so she told herself.
Luna didn't say anything else and just let her cry for a few minutes.
Then she walked to her room, that had been turned into Celestia's room, and hugged the sleeping sun goddess while she cried some more.
"Mag? Why are you crying my little sunshine?" Celestia's voice asked.
"Because you been in a coma for a week and... and I don't know!" Mag said and keep crying. And then she noticed Celestia had actually woken up and nuzzled her face and that she just had not imagined Celestia talking.
"I am sorry to have worried you Mag, I am a terrible mother."
"No, you are not terrible! You just... need to learn to rest sometimes."
"Than you Mag, but I still feel I could have done things better."
"My dear sister, how do you feel?" Luna interrupted.
"Rested, and a confused."
"You decided to reveal magic to the people of Earth, remember?"
"I did? And then what happened?"
"Not much really, at least for now." Mag said. "Well besides the fact you got a fanclub."
Mag then did the best she could to dry her tears but she still knew that she looked awful.
"Did you dye your hair pink?" Celestia asked.
"So who is hungry? I am hungry! I know, I am going to make you food, you haven't eaten in a week!" Mag said trying to change the subject.
"Mag."
"Later, let's... Let's me pamper my dear mother a bit, okay?"
"Fine."
Mag was confused with having so many ingredients and a full fridge, to the point that despite her protests Celestia left the bed and helped her to cook.
For once, Celestia stopped asked like a goddess of grace and manners and just ate all the food she could. It seemed that even for her, a whole week without eating was too much.
"Mag, now will you tell me why your hair is pink?" Celestia asked.
"I messed up with magic and apparently is now permanent." Mag confessed.
"There, was admitting that so hard?"
"You are not angry?"
"Considering all the things you could have done, why would s change of hair color brother me?"
"But is permanent!"
"Even if that's the case, there are hair dyes you can use if you want. And I don't think it looks bad on you. By the way, your skin looks better, and your nails look amazing, have you been taking better care of yourself?"
"No, I was asleep for a week so Luna was the one who took care of me."
"That explains all the changes in the house and why it looks dirtier than usual."
"You may like to play being a housewife sister, but I do not. The house is clean enough anyway."
And then someone knocked the house door.
"So now that my sister it awake and the Eldest is not keeping trouble away, that probably means trouble is knocking at Mag's door."
Celestia looked at the door, then to Luna.
"Sister, did you put protections on the house?"
"At best as I could."
"Then let however it is keep knocking while I made myself presentable." Having said that Celestia took into her princess like human form and went to take a bath, while the nocks at the door continued.
"Uh, I didn't think she would do something like that. Usually she would have fixed her looks with magic then opened the door right away."
"Does this mean she is still weak?" Mag just had to ask, because she really cared and Celestia had proven less invencible than she had thought.
"No, I would have noticed that. It just means that she decided to drop the princess mask for once, because we are her family and she cares more about us that about whatever is outside."
"Good." Mag said and then went to change, fearing what kind of clothes Luna had stuffed her wardrobe with.
Mag opened the door, outside there was a potbellied man with a red-orange mustache and an old gray beanie, in his thirties or forties. Mag guessed he was a reporter and was starting to wonder why she has suck bad luck with annoying fat men.
He had a notepad and wore the face of a man about to wager his soul, probably due to Celestia, in human princess mode, being behind Mag.
“You're Ms. Margaret Wilson?” asked the man.
”Yeah, and this is Princess Celestia,” said Mag and pointed behind her. "She's kind of my adoptive mother, we haven't done the paperwork yet.
He stood up straight. “Does, uh, do... so it looked like her majesty speaks English?”
“I do,” said Princess Celestia who looked that she was trying hard to not laugh. “May I help you, sir?”
He clutched his tie. “Your, er, your majesty, and you as well, Ms. Wilson, would you two care to answer a few questions?”
“Ah,” said Celestia, pleased.
“How about Luna?” asked Mag.
“What?” said the reporter.
“You're talking to one human and two magical aliens,” said Mag. “The third has no physical form and she lives in my head and yes I know that sounds crazy.”
The reporter stared at her helplessly. Mag created a pink ball of magic light and bounced it between her hands.
Mag nodded. “Too weird for you. Got it.”
“Do write that down though, please,” said Celestia. “That part is going to be difficult to explain to humanity, and it might be best if we mention it as early as possible.”
“I was rather hoping to be the secret princess,” said Luna. "Then again, I can always always make those who annoy me just fall asleep."
"Luna, you are not that boring." Celestia said with a smile.
"I meant with magic!"
“Don't worry; a lot of people aren't going to believe you exist Luna,” said Mag."And way too many people will think I am crazy."
“Good, then there is fun still to be had ” said Luna.
The reporter had a stub of a pencil set against the top line of his notepad, but hadn't written a word yet, or even looked down at it. He'd lost his nerve.
“Celestia, maybe you should just tell him what to write.” said Luna.
Celestia then changed into her pony form, and the reporter fainted.
"I think he just wet his pants." Mag said with disgust.
"Can I scare the next one?" Luna asked in a eager tone.
"I didn't want to scare him, I just wanted to know if he could see my real form." Celestia protested.
"I am not touching him, so what? We just close the door and leave him outside in the cold?" Mag asked.
"That would be rude." Celestia said. "Move to the side so I can levitate him inside, Mag do you have fresh clothes he could wear?"
"Not as far as I know, Luna did you buy some?"
"No, let's just seat him near the heater and put a few towers over whatever seat we use."
"And then drop some perfume on him? Wait that cannot be very hygienic." Mag said.
"Then let's just ask the cameraman behind him if he can take care of the idiot."
There was indeed a camera man behind the fainted man. Mag had failed to notice him before for some reason, maybe because he was so quiet.
"So, is this going live?" Mag asked and the camera man nodded his head.
"Hi kids! Eat your veggies!" Luna said in a cheerful irritating tone.
Author's Note
A beta reader is still wanted.
I think these three are starting to act like a real family, don't you think?
Mag looked herself in the mirror, her reflection looked taller and with a narrower face. Her skin was also darker, with higher cheekbones and softer eyes.
She had never look so pretty so of course she knew she must be dreaming.
"Hello Nightmare, you know if you had tried this look instead of the more evil one I would have been way more tempted. Also, apparently I was so tired we couldn't get any dangerous magic book for you to steal from that other world, too bad." Mag sarcasm wasn't very sharp but for some reason, she feel like being nicer. Most likely due to her new mother being well and for having a new much nicer mother to start with.
"Oh well, I still know all magic Luna does." The Nightmare said in a flipant tone. "Why aren't you scared anymore?"
Was the Nightmare... shrinking? Surely not; why would she do that?
"Because I also was a troubled girl who wanted love, just like you want in your own twisted way, for Luna to love you. Because that whole thing you said about hosts and that? You can't be so bad at this if you were old and experienced so my guess is that Luna created you somehow. So yes I am almost sure Luna is your mommy."
"And what if she was? I got a new host now, she is the most scary seven year old this world has ever seen!"
"You went after a kid not even in their first decade of life? Oh wow... let me guess... no one older took your deal?"
"I just saw a great deal of potential in her." The Nightmare said side-steeping the question.
Maybe it was not just that maybe the Nightmare always has a target for hosts. Maybe they always had to be female, lonely, ambitious and wanting more in life.
"You took a starved orphan girl and offered her all the food she could eat?" Mag somehow guessed at seeing the Nightmare much smaller form. She also had reverted into a pony... alicorn.
"Is not my fault that most people in this stupid World can't see me even in their dreams or nightmares! So it was that or someone older but mad. There I said it, happy now?"
"No, you still tricked a little girl that didn't know better. But then again, you were desperate, weren't you?"
The pink unicorn ate blueberries and offered Mag one, she ate the blueberry slowly.
"Why would I be desperate? You think the Dreamlands are limited to a single world?" Again Nightmare didn't answer a question. Is the Nightmare affected by the host she has, not just her affecting the host? That would explain...
Mag walked to the now much smaller sized Nightmare, picked her up and started to pet her, ignoring the Nightmare weak protests.
Her question of were Luna was in the Dream got her answer when she saw filly Celestia and Luna prancing around and playing.
Yet in the dream Mag was still an adult.
Maybe Mag wanted to be a mother? The Nightmare had to at least try to get her hosts what they wanted and what family would better accept a Nightmare possessed girl that hers?
Celestia would try her best to separate the two of them, Luna wouldn't be happy but would see it as a chance to help someone lonely and Mag-
No.
As tempting as the idea was, it was just too risky. The Nightmare still wanted Mag, Mag was an adult and was kind of fused with a goddess.
If Mag body keep changing; if the Nightmare convinced her that being a mere mortal was awful, Mag would be the perfect host. Celestia wouldn't kill them because they would share bodies with Luna. And with Equestria gone, there was no group of plucky heroines to defeat the Nightmare once more.
And a small lonely filly would be close with her mother again.
Mag said nothing just keep petting the poor sad monster. Aren't the best villains the ones you care about? The ones you can see yourself walking in their shoes if only circumstances had been different?
Luna was not just any run of the hill goddess...
Hehehe... Hill?
Not any regular moon and dream goddess.
She was a Regent just like her sister.
Any child she had wouldn't live as much as Luna herself... unless said child could be almost as powerful as her.
And if the child could borrow Luna's power to survive, wouldn't she also live as long as Luna's did?
There is no such thing as a one side coin, for there to be good there has also be be bad.
Luna had not only power over dreams but also over nightmares.
Just like the sun can be warm and inviting but also burn and kill you.
Where was Celestia darkest side hidding then? Most likely safely hidden under lock and key. With Mag, Luna and a bit of hope keeping it at bay.
No wonder Earth's Regent had made magic gets as thin as he probably could.
"You and Luna are one." Mag Willson said instead of asking. She wasn't sure how she knew that, she just did. Or maybe she did not, maybe she was mistaken?
"How do you know?" The Nightmare asked without making any move away from her lap, still enjoying the petting. That at least confirmed Mag strange thoughts.
"As I told Luna before, humans have a lot of stories. It also was really strange how you would insist in taking me as a host with Luna literally living in my head. How sure you were Luna could simply not seal you away, why didn't you go for a safer host first? Why did you went with me first despite not being your first pick?
The Eldest warned Celestia that she would break me if she changed me from being human, but you are a safeish way to change aren't you? Bonding with you would ensure whatever I did to myself or whatever carrying a goddess in my head does is not such a big deal, that not only I survive it, but I flourish!""
"I really should have gone with the 'This will stop you from dying and getting old' angle didn't I? My fault, I am still too used to Luna, so I didn't think about what a mortal really wants."
"No mortal wants to die, at least no sane one that's not suffering."
"This world is so dull and boring you know? Is like-"
"Something is not quite right? The Regent of Earth killed his brother a very long ago."
"Oh..." Was all the Nightnare said and she just enjoyed the petting for several minutes in silence.
Then Luna completely didn't read the mood and killed the filly Nightmare with a sword covered in blue flames.
"Really? That works?" Mag just had to ask.
"The Coldflame Sword cannot kill, the Nightmare is now just somewhere else in a forced time out while being stuck inside a mountain of ice."
"And the whole head falling off she did before she disappeared?"
"Wouldn't you say I have a flair for the dramatic? She does too."
"Oh yes, you do. So I am right? You and Nightmare Moon are two halves of a whole?" She still wanted to be sure and maybe wanted to be wrong... Because this side of Luna... it was not something she was fully comfortable with.
"Yes and no. She is indeed my creation, made out of despair, hope and a desire for companionship. But as making someone out of nothing is not possible, she started as a copy of myself... but as that did make me just literally talking to myself... you can guess what happened next."
"But if you made her, how come she ended having so much power over you? How come she took advantage of you so easily?"
"Having once been my copy, she knew exactly what to say, how to act, she knew exactly what buttons to push as you humans say."
"Ah, the whole one person is their own worst enemy thing?"
"Yes. But good luck telling that to my sister without crushing her with guilt. For her I kept the lie that the Nightmare was something else, something dangerous. But now with our world gone? What's the point? The lie no longer has a reason to be and if I desire to help my sister I have to be more honest."
"You... you really love each other." Mag was not crying pink tears and anyone who said that was a stinky liar who lies and... stuff.
"We are literally made to keep company to each other as long as we live. That's why I feel nothing but pity for your World Regent. No matter how horrible he is, nothing will be as bad for him as what he already did to himself."
"Come here... aunt." Mag then have Luna a hug. "What's going on? Why I suddenly know things I shouldn't have figured on my own?" Mag had a mix of horror and thinking it was cool about that.
"In a dream anything is possible, and as we are connected you will get more and more able to express yourself in Dreams. This is not due to any mental contamination but because I am not your Regent but I am still a Regent. Even as dismished as I am that's... gonna cause trouble. The Eldest was right when he said humans are not ponies after all."
Mag just... sat down in the dream, thinking in the middle of her childhood forest.
"How much more will I change?"
"To live is to change a bit every day. But in your case... I do not know. A part of it depends on you, another in me and the last third depends on how long we keep sharing the same body."
"So... I actually wanted pink hair?" Mag actually could see child Mag having wanted that but as an adult?
"Even if that is the case, I decided to not fix your hair both as a lesson and because we couldn't afford the Eldest getting as annoying as the terms of my sister Asylum allow him."
"You... you are the one playing politics? Aren't you the fun princess?" Mag refused to admit she was pouting.
"I will do a lot to help my sister, even things I loathe doing."
"A lot instead of anything?" Mag just had to ask.
"I did said I need to be more honest, didn't I? That includes even lies I tell to myself."
"Uh. So... what will you do about Nightmare Moon?"
"Read a lot of books about how to deal with children to start with."
"I think she is way more dangerous that any child those books are aimed at."
"Even so, now that I am forcing myself into Honesty the Nightmare has a lot less power over me. I am still hurt but admitting it was myself who did a lot of the hurting does help."
"Did you said the H word in a weird way?"
"What? You mean Honesty? And H word? Really?"
"Sorry this is... a bit too much, I think the only reason I am not freaking out is because I am not awake."
"Ah, I know the feeling. Anything else you want to talk about? I left my sister in a pleasant dream so we have some time."
"If I grow a horn, will at least look cool and help me with my magic?"
"No, unless you changed a whole lot of your nervous system and your brain. And I don't think you would survive that, not unless it was done it very careful and slowly. Think of it as going by puberty once more."
"No way in hell I am dealing with that ever again!"
"Good, I think a nose ring would be better to channel your magic anyway."
"Really?" Mag raised an eyebrow.
"No, I was joking."
"Could I pull the look anyway?"
"Not as a human, maybe not even as a pony, maybe as a Zebra? I am not up to date with fashion, be it human or pony. Then again as one of the only two members left of my species, I could be the one deciding whatever said fashion is."
"Luna, you said you are trying to be more honest, what do you think will happen to me? Will I become a pony?"
"Only if you really really really want to. And even then you would be quite the unusual pony."
"Would being a pony help me with magic?"
"Yes and no. I am the most familiar with the ways a unicorn does magic but having you getting used to permanently being a different species would cut time in our lessons. Not to mention that as a pony you may not be able to survive in a place with so little magic as Earth."
"You said permanently, what if it wasn't permanent?" Mag just had to ask because she was curious.
"Neither you or me can safely do transformation magic at the moment. And while my sister definitely has the power, she lacks the skill. Not to mention that in her current mental state, she may end turning you into a pony permanently by accident if she tries."
"Ah the whole ponies being herd creatures thing?"
"Yes. Also the fact that as a Regent we tend to want beings to rule, that's is a constant with a few exceptions. We can pick the way we rule, we can just watch in hiding and do nothing but ensure our subjects just survive but we do have to rule."
"So... good thing Celestia literally can't just turn any creature into a pony then?"
"Yes, good for this world and her mental health."
When Mag woke up she found that she had been hugging Celestia and crying.
Celestia had been crying too but would most likely deny it. With the practice she had in the last few days, there was no trouble in washing away the tears from her clothes and the Goddess fur. All that while not waking up said Goddess.
"Why did she had a relapse? She was acting okay a few days ago."
"Do you really need to ask?" "
"Right lost almost everything and everyone, only her sister left... would making a cake help?"
"My sister loves cake, be sure to add a lot of sugar and frosting."
And so Mag the Barbarian daughter of a Sun Goddess made cake... and the three of them had that for breakfast.
Author's Note
A beta reader is still wanted.
Yeah, Celestia had another relapse.
At least she is now showing her emotions more instead of keeping up a mask.
