A clear and starlit night
kr-BOOM!
Princess Celestia's gaze snapped away from the glittering night sky visible beyond her balcony at the sudden explosion behind her.
Oh, what the Sun now?
An acrid cloud of smoke obscured her desk from view, and a deep coughing could be heard from within.
"I'm okay! Cough. No more opening—coughcough—strange glowie-lettered books. Cough! Ever."
"Is somepony in there? I specifically told the guards I wanted to be alone for... for the evening." Celestia lit her horn and spread her wings combatively. I am not in the mood for another assassination attempt. Not after everything else!
"Um, hello? Cough. Guards...? Wait, did you say somepony?" More coughing.
Celestia snorted and summoned a breeze to clear whatever was in the cloud out of her chambers. And gaped in shock at the ruins of her desk, crushed beneath the massive form of a—No, that's no minotaur. "What in My name are you supposed to be?"
The strange creature gazing back at her from its awkward position sprawled in the wreckage was immense; two, maybe three times her height, presuming it stood upright like the minotaur it resembled.
"I'm just a regular ol' mundane human guy, what el—holy shit, you're a pony!"
"Really? I thought I was a slice of banana bread today." There was a desert in Saddle Arabia that suddenly felt decidedly moist. "Look, if you're here to assassinate me, let's get it over with already so I can banish you and be done with it. I've had a long day and I'm not in the mood for humoring bumbling villains and their shenanigans."
"You're Princess Celestia!"
"Yes, and the Night is dark and full of terrors. You get a gold star. A-plus. You are promoted to Captain of the good ship, Obvious. Now, assassination attempt?" Celestia impatiently jerked her horn towards the corner of the room. "I think the last one's knife is still stuck in the back of the bookshelf, if you've lost yours."
"Wait—I'm not an assassin!" The creature scrambled back a bit, lifting his hands palms out as he stood up, and up...
Definitely three times my height. "Then what are you doing in my study? Uninvited, unannounced, unattended... All I need to do is unravel the silence ward on the door and you'll be buried in guardponies, human." They may have to summon reinforcements. Sun, he's big...
"I... don't know." Sheepishly, he lifted something from the wreckage of her desk. "I was cleaning my garage and found a box of old stuff I'd inherited from my grandparents, and found this book. Its letters were glowing like something out of a movie, so I opened it to see what it was, and poof, I'm here. Totally not an assassin, I swear!"
The object he held out to her could charitably have been called a book... if you ignored the dark liquid reducing it to a soggy mass of—"Oh, horseapples! My tea!" Having identified the source of the book's recent destruction, Celestia turned her back on the not-an-assassin-after-all and slumped her face against the balcony rail, wings drooping nearly to the floor. And to think, I'd never been happier to set the sun on a Worst Day Ever. When will I learn, Night just isn't my time? Her shoulders shook softly.
"I—Ah, I'm sorry? I didn't mean to wreck your tea..."
"I can call for more. It's just one more thing after a really, really long day." Celestia sighed and turned back from the railing, igniting her horn once again. "Soggy as it was, I recognized your book: one of Starswirl's early works. From when he still had something that he called a sense of humor. Tell me where you're from, and I'll send you back. One of the minotaur cities? You'll be home in a jiffy." A thousand years and I still can't believe how many copies he hoofed out... he didn't even invent the free copy spell for another decade!
"Um...probably another universe entirely? I mean, it could be just another planet, but physics here allows magic, so probably not?"
Celestia's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Another world? But you knew my name. How?" He can't be lying... I don't smell even a hint of deception. Or am I losing my touch with that, as well?
"Well, we have these shows we watch for entertainment. One of them is called—and I expected you to be smaller than one of our ponies, but this is a bit ridiculous: you're the size of my dog—it's called 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.' It was meant for children, but it turned out a lot of adults enjoyed it, too, so a lot of us watch it. It's about you and your kingdom, and how your student and her friends saved your sister and went on adventures to save Equestria several times from bad stuff happening, and—Celestia?"
Celestia's face had gone from suspicious, to shocked, to flabbergasted, to back to shocked—and she suddenly collapsed in a quivering heap. "My... my student?—sob!—And my sister?!" Celestia gazed teary-eyed as the human moved hesitantly closer.
"Are... are you alright? What's wrong?"
"You know about Lu—my student... today... I bucked up. She left... she's gone." The leak in Celestia's waterworks would have run the castle cisterns dry by dawn. "And now—Oh, Lulu" She looked out the balcony, where the moon had crept its way into view, revealing a horned silhouette stamped across its face.
Freakishly large arms scooped Celestia from the floor and held her close. He could crush me like a bug. Maybe he should. Celestia shuddered and sobbed into the creature's shoulder. "You've seen our future from beyond the world... and I've already bucked it up. Oh, Sunset... the world she went to—she could be dead already. And I can't go after her. Somepony has to move the sun and the moon, or Equestria will..." What have I doomed us all to, now, sister mine?
She felt a surprisingly gentle pat on her back as she tried in vain to regain her Princess face, the mask of serenity she wore every day, and should be wearing now... It's too much, too much all at once. The arms held her tight. But this is... nice? Humans are warm!
"Sunset? Sunset Shimmer? Then this is—like prequel time? You're the only princess?" Up close, the voice rumbled like the thunder of an avalanche, vibrations spreading from the creature's barrel all through Celestia's shaking form.
Strange. He sounds so... disappointed? Celestia nodded against the massive chest. She saw him wince as her muzzle left a streak of something more viscous than tears on a surprisingly soft shirt.
"Sunset'll be fine. It'll take a few years, but she'll be fine. I meant your next student. She'll save Sunset, too." His voice was gentle, tone reassuring as he rocked back against the balcony doorway and rubbed his cheek against her head.
Celestia's ears perked up a bit as she tensed and blinked her eyes clear. "I'd smack you for not saying that sooner, but I'm too comfortable right now. Keep doing this." Her breath hitched, It feels like when we were small... when mother held Lulu and me under her wings. She was this big. "I didn't think I'd ever get to see Luna again... it's been so long."
"If I remember correctly, the prophecy says, 'On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape.' And poof, there's Nightmare Moon."
Only ten more years?! "There is no such prophecy."
"There must be. Your student found—finds?—finds it in an old book. And then you tell her to stop reading dusty old books and send her out to make friends when she tries to warn you."
"Why would I do that?" Of all the silly...
"I was going to ask you that. No explanation at all? That's harsh, Tia."
He called me... Fuming softly against the heated slab of whatever humans had in place of a brisket, Celestia narrowed her eyes. "Well, now I have to, because according to you, it works. So it's all your fault." Stupid Starswirl and his stupid time theories. Almost as stupid as his stupid pranks!
"I always hated how manipulative you were."
"Then... why did you pick me up when I cried?"
"You're a pony. And you were sad. I think it's a law somewhere that sad ponies must be cuddled."
"It isn't."
"You could make it one."
Celestia snorted.
"See? You're feeling better already. I can put you dow—"
"Don't." Celestia burrowed tighter against the behemoth's chest. "I needed this. S'nice." Purple eyes closed.
"Alright. So... can I stay in Equestria?"
A tiny sigh. "No."
"You could make me the Archduke of Snuggles..."
A tiny snicker. "No... believe it or not, that title is taken."
"What? Really?"
"His demesne produces cotton sheets. Better than anything that comes from Saddle Arabia. Have you ever climbed into a cold bed with silk sheets in the middle of winter?" Celestia shivered at the memory. Although, the snowballs didn't help, either, Lulu...
"So you can send me home, even to another universe?"
"I just have to look up which spell Starswirl used to send the book that brought you; I have his diary. He put all the details of his 'pranks' in there."
"What kind of prank teleports someone into your office?"
"That particular edition is the reason this room isn't my bedchamber anymore. I mentioned—once!—that I wished I had a coltfriend, and he started handing out books that would randomly teleport some 'lucky' stallion into my room." Lulu almost died, laughing, the first time I screamed... "After Luna... after I abandoned the castle in the Everfree, I moved back in here. And discovered the books still work."
"'Lucky?' So does that mean I have to—"
"You're snuggling with a princess. You're as lucky as every one of them, human." Celestia cracked one eye open to glare up at the mountainous face above her. "Don't be lewd."
"Hey, I wasn't—"
"Quiet now. Snuggle time." A tiny yawn cracked Celestia's jaw. "I'll send you home after I raise the sun in the morning."
I'll have remember to send the book back, too. These human creatures are so warm!
A bemused human gazed down at the tiny, snoring alicorn in his arms and tried not to fall asleep.
Author's Note
So, I didn't get any sleep tonight. Thanks, muse! I have work in the morning, you know!
I hope somepony out there enjoys it, at least a little bit?
One chuckle?
An amused snort?
Even just a teensy hint of a d'aww at the end?
