The real MacColt

by ChiefKitsune

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Nightmare Moon, Changelings, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4672

Want to ask your favorite character some questions? Well then tune in to watch "The Real MacColt" where we explore all the interesting ponies and non-ponies in the world. You mind have a laugh.

Ever wondered what the mighty, the powerful, the beautiful, and the cake-agedon is like off the throne? When she's away from the nobles? What about all those times she did something or when she didn't do something?

Well your gonna haft a wait, cause she ain't first.

****

This came about when I had questions about how Equestria is run.

As a side note, I need Questions to ask the ponies and non-ponies. So I'm going to turn to you readers for help. If a character gets enough questions or even a few interesting ones I will try to write a chapter about them with those questions.

Seriously the more questions I get for characters the faster I can turn out chapters.

That's all for now, hope you enjoy it, even if you don't that's okay.:twilightsmile:

[12-04-2017] Going on Hiatus for a little over a month but I will be back I just will need Questions for Nightmare Moon to get it out as soon as I can.

[02-02-2018] I'm back! I still need Questions! Please I can't think of any good ones.

Published 2017-11-28 15:30:05 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-25 15:03:09 UTC

Intro

The view comes into focus on the smiling face of a cheerful lavender unicorn mare, leaning forward on the desk towards the camera before she begins the show. "Hello there and welcome viewers to the first airing of The Real MacColt. The show where we ask all those questions for the most famous, infamous, and heroic. Things that they haven't been asked before. Things that they might not want to share before but have agreed to just to me your host, Wall Flower."

The crowd applauds when prompted, allowing the viewers to take in Wall Flower's complete image. She is a Unicorn mare a little on the shorter side of average, has a well maintained light lavender coat. Her mane is a deep blue with highlighting streaks of hot pink and sapphire. Its pulled back into a clean braid but leaving a bang on either side of her face making her eyes seem even brighter along with her smile. Her eyes are what really catch the attention, what with them being a brilliant blue that has flecks of silver that seems to shimmer when the light hits it.

As the applause dies down, the camera zooms out to show the rest of the stage. However the stage is darkened so that the viewers and audience can't see what is there. This seems to just cause Flower's smile to widen a bit at the corners being the only signs to the audience that she is withholding a laughing fit from their disappointment being palatable. Once the camera stops she pushes off the desk to lean back in her chair.

She begins, "Hold your horses there folks we can't show you who is here today just yet." she nickers into her hoof. "We'll get to that in a bit. But first some current events that are happening across Epius." Shuffles papers around on desk before looking back to the camera. "Now just two months ago we here in Equestria, received a new place of power with the addition of Princess Sparkles' new palace. Thus cementing the seat for the Friendship Council, that is what everypony is referring to the Elements of Harmony as now. The Princess is still getting more and more gifts from foreign powers as thanks for stopping Tierk and also to help furnish her new home. That was lost in the heavy fighting against Tierk along with all her belongings, its said that a majority of them being books."

After a brief moment to respect towards the Princess' loses, she continues. "We've been told that the Griffon Providence of NewBeak has just signed a new trades agreement with the Minotaur and Ewe Coalition. The agreement comes just 250 years after NewBeak was razed by the MEC (Minotaur and Ewe Coalition) and a civilian casualty count estimated in the tens of thousands. The agreement leans in favor of NewBeak and it's exportation of goods to the MEC, mostly steel tools that can be used by beings with possible thumbs. Also we've been given word that the Goats have began partitioning to be allowed to join the MEC, officials in Canterlot commented that while they may have been a pseudo member before this process may take a while." Wall Flower finishes with a small grim smile.

"We've received confirmation that the terrorist leader known as Queen Chrysalis has been apprehended by Lunar Special Operators along with an unconfirmed report of the aid of a Changeling Spec. Ops. unit in the apprehension of Chrysalis. These reports are, in this Mare's opinion, that this is doctored simply because you'll only know a Changeling is there is they want you to know." Pauses to let the news sink in before resuming. "'Queen Chrysalis' is reported to being moved to Canterlot at an unknown date for her trial. The Canterlot palace has released the Trial's date however, which is set to be held in a fortnight." Flower pauses as the audience breaks out into cheers for the Lunar Special Operators (LSO) though it is restrained by the uncertainty of the aid given by Changelings. Flower uses this pause to take a sip from the mug on the desk that is filled with her own personal concoction that is like coffee only better, she can't stop the grin from forming on her muzzle from the dubious looking drink.

Flower looks off to the side before placing a hoof in her left ear, nodding here and there with a serious look aided by a thinning smile and her right ear splaying back. The audience notices it almost immediately causing the studio to become deathly silent while they await what can only be grim news. After around 45 seconds Flower grimaces and scrunches up her muzzle then glares down at the desk top with narrowed eyes before looking back towards the audience. Then only 90 seconds after putting her hoof to her ear, is said hoof removed as she gazes upon the crowd. Everypony in the audience is waiting with baited breath both at home and in studio for whatever it may be.

Ponyville, Equestria

The tension is so think that Discord, who is watching the airing with Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Spike, and his mother Princess Twilight Sparkle. He glances at the mane six all leaning forward sans Pinkie who has taken out a knife and cut a piece of the tension off before eating it. Pinkie literally begins to glow at the flavor before cutting off another piece and hoofing it to Discord to have a bite. This all goes unnoticed by the rest of them as they lean ever closer to the screen, at the same time as Princess Luna does in Canterlot.

Canterlot Palace, Canterlot, Equestria

While Luna is just as anxious about the news as the Girls, and Spike in Ponyville, her elder sister the Guidance of the Sun just leans back further into their private seating room's couch, a mischievous smirk twitching at the corners of her lips trying to break free as she watches Luna instead of the Show. Her eyes spark with a twinkle of mischief as they flick to the image of Wall Flower on the wall before going back to Luna.

The Real MacColt Studios, [REDACTED], Equestria

With a straight face, as was ordered of her, Wall Flower gazes into the audience for a few brief moments to build the suspense, as was ordered not that she is upset mind you. Before beginning in a serious tone, "My Little ponies, it is with a great importance that I am to inform you of the news from the Far North in the Crystal Empire." deep breath, "The Crystal Empress Mamore Cadenza, better known as Cadence, has been given world altering news during her Doctors appointment earlier today." waits a single beat, then goes for the kill. "She is with foal." She finishes with a Fox-ish grin towards the audience.

There is nothing but a cricket chirp within the studio.

Ponyville, Equestria

Silence from the Girls and Spike, sans Pinkie, who with the aid of Discord is silent as well thanks to the zippers on their lips to withhold their amusement.

Canterlot Palace, Canterlot, Equestria

Luna is nearly off the couch from leaning forward. While Celestia is sitting back very entertained, then a moment later Luna falls flat onto her face.

Ponyville, Equestria

Spike falls forward from his high perch and lands on Twilight's back, surprising her causing her wings to shoot out hitting Applejack in the back of the head. Applejack then falls forwards knocking over Rarity and becoming all tangled up in her legs. Fluttershy lets out an adorable 'eep' as her legs stiffen straight, her wings lock to her side and she just tips over rolling onto her back with her legs straight up in the air. Though Fluttershy landed on a pillow provided by Discord so she didn't fall onto the hard Crystal in the Palace.

The Real MacColt Studios, [REDACTED], Equestria

The audience just collapses into their seats dazed from the actually wonderful news. At that point Flower can't hold it in and begins to cackle into her hoof, though with her hoof there making it appear as though she is giggling, which she might be.

Canterlot Palace, Canterlot, Equestria

Celestia falls off the side of the couch laughing so hard, kicking her legs as though she were running upside down. Luna just looks at the TV with a glassy look, until she hears her sister hit the floor, then she levels a flat glare at her elder sibling. "Thou hast planed for that Mare to doth thy prank upon our nation. We must ask what was her price?" Luna puts up an honest fight against the smile and giggles that appear to be highly infectious.

"Oh Little Lulu, Wall Flower is a trusted friend of mine and works for me." Celestia nickers. "She didn't ask for anything, in fact she offered to pay me personally to allow her to do this." She finishes with a wide grin, wiping a tear away with her wing tip.

Growling lightly Luna answers "So thou hast spread thy humorous ways to this mare? Isn't one prankster like you enough Tia?" Luna whines at the end.

"Oh there is never enough pranks," looks to the side. "though I think she may be even more devious at it than I." At Celestia's admission Luna stops laughing at gapes at her, the thought that somepony millennia younger is better than Celestia at pranking is to frighting to think of.

The Real MacColt Studios, [REDACTED], Equestria

"So with that out of the way. We get to move on to who our first guest is." Flowers raises a hoof to the darkened section. "Please give it up for the beautiful, the powerful, the terrifying, the impotent her Highness Nightmare Moon"

The lights come on to present the spectral image of the Lunar Diarch's darker self. Her figure as tall and imposing as Celestia's, without that maternal aura but not devoid of compassion. She is smiling a closed mouth smile to hide her sharp teeth, her light blue-green draconian eyes are looking out to the audience. Though they lack the cold apathetic look they had before, now they are dancing with mirth at her entrance and how well Wall Flower pulled it off.

"Why hello my little ponies, let me be the first to congratulate Princess Cadence on her pregnancy before we move on to the questions." Nightmare Moon began casually, before levitating a tea cup up and sipping her Moonshade tea a specialty of Wall Flowers.

"I'm sorry Moony, " Wall Flower blows Nightmare a raspberry. "but we'll have to wait until after the first commercial break."

Author's Note

Hello and thank you for joining me Wall Flower, and my best friend Chief Kitsune, to our first actual story. If you see any error be sure to point them out, also if you have a comment oh how we've handled things so far then say so. If any of you have questions for us to pose to Moony included them in the comments for the next chapter.

Commercial

Ponyville, Equestria

"Have you been feeling off lately? Have you been wearing a frown and you don't know why? Well we here at The Hive have specially designed hibernation pods to help you forget all your troubles. If there one thing we Changelings are known for, besides needing to eat love, is that we are good at ......." The undisguised Changeling cheerfully advertising an emotional get away, is silent as Rarity pressed the 'mute' button so they could try to understand just what they saw.

"What the BUCK was that?!" Rainbow Dash exclaims loudly causing the others' ears to splay out from the volume.

"Did you really want to know what that Changeling was selling?" Rarity asks Rainbow Dash with nothing more than a cocked eyebrow.

"No not that....well not just that. What the hay is Nightmare Moon doing there, didn't we destroy her with the Elements?" Rainbow reiterates.

While those two are arguing AppleJack is trying to get Fluttershy out from under the couch, which is where she fled when Nightmare Moon first appeared on screen. The whole couch was shaking like a leaf, with Pinkie sitting on top saying things like 'This makes my voice sound funny' and 'You girls should try this'. Twilight is still staring at the screen with nothing more than a thin frown and the occasional twitch in her left eye and right ear. Their was a soft 'sproing' each as strands of Twilight's mane started to stick out.

"Twi, do ya think you could help out ov'a here with Flutters?" AppleJack asks Twilight not only because she needed the help but to try and snap Twilight out of whatever she is in.

"Wha...huh? Okay. That was a thing." Twilight commented as she moved to help AppleJack still she had a glazed look in her eyes and a vacant expression. Signs that she was thinking about lots of things that AppleJack knew would put her to sleep faster than a story from Granny when she was a filly, if she was to ask what Twi was thinking 'bout.

With a very audible 'Snap' of his claws Discord broke through to them all, well it helped that Fluttershy was also now in his Talon and paw, bringing Twilight back to what he thought of as insanity, bringing a pause to the conversation going on between Rainbow Dash and Rarity, and well Pinkie will always be Pinkie. Coincidentally Pinkie was the only one of the group Discord personally thought to be sane, with Fluttershy close behind only because she is his best friend.

"As much as I'm enjoying the sight of the four of you 'Blue-screen'ing I had to snap you out so you could comfort Fluttershy." With that the discussion started between the mane six, and Spike, while Discord winked at the wall and gave an 'OK' with his talons.

The Real MacColt Studios, [REDACTED], Equestria

I smirked at the little view screen in my hooves when Discord gave the 'all okay' sign, looking like a foal in a candy shop. "Well I am glade that they only had mild reactions to your appearance on the show Moony" I comment as I look up and back to see Nightmare Moon standing behind me looking at the view screen looking like she just ate a lemon, causing me to giggle at her and thus enhancing the look.

"You know very well that I hate that Nickname that you saddled me with. The same one that all your 'employees' use whenever they address me." Nightmare sneered at me lightly while I got my giggles under control. "Also change the view so we can check on the Sisters." She tried to rush me, which really wasn't needed.

"You know you can't keep calling yourself Nightmare Moon, and just calling you Nightmare won't work because the Sisters act as though you were nothing more than a parasite that was destroying Luna." I began quickly to stop any interruptions. "Even if that was what originally happened, you are no longer that same entity. Your time with Luna on the Moon changed that, and the Elements just finished for you. I did they honestly think something promoting Harmony would just outright destroy something?" I finish to Moony, moving in to give her a hug since this conversation hurts. I then get an idea to change her mood, thus I switch the view screen for the 'hidden-camera' spell to the Royal Sisters' sitting room, hoping to get a show for my show.

I wasn't disappointed.

Canterlot Palace, Canterlot, Equestria

"WHAT IS THIS!!! DIST THOU KNOWN SHE WOULD BE THE 'GUEST'?" Luna all but screamed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. Her sister Celestia handled it far better than most, though she still was thrown back a little bit.

"No! I had NO idea that she had this planned nor do I know what the questions will be." Celestia answered, nervousness clear in her voice her mask completely shattered by the turn of events. "I only knew she had asked me the other day if she could be the first to announce the pregnancy, before anypony else was told." That last bit froze Luna mid-freak out.

"What dost thou mean? If she knew about it before anypony not part of the Royal Family, then how did she know? Wait is that the reason you scheduled the press release about the foal for tomorrow morning?" Luna asked her string of questions rapid fire.

"Well I learned long ago that Wall Flower always, always knows what's going on within the Kingdom, and more frequently than I would like before I do." Celestia complained. "And even when I looked into her there was nothing. I had her tailed on multiple occasions, each time she gave signs that she was aware of them from the moment they began. I had here house here in Canterlot put under surveillance for a whole month where I was distracting her with this and that. They had look outs watching the building around the clock, with a rotating positions never the same one twice. She made it blatantly clear that no matter where they were or how long they were there, that she knew that they were there. Don't tell anypony or anyone, but she honestly frightens me more than Discord and Sombra, if only for the fact she must have an amazing network." Celestia went on in what Luna could tell was a well used rant, but there was still the matter of the Nightmare existing outside of herself.

Luna honestly didn't know how to feel about Nightmare Moon still existing, its a mixed concoction of fear, anger, and surprisingly a good portion of relief. Luna however pushed those feelings aside for now, they needed to act fast if they were to apprehend Nightmare Moon before she left the Studio. "Sister we must hurry to rouse the Guard to get to the studios as soon as possible, so that we may apprehend her." Luna commanded her sister expecting her to respond in the affirmative, she was thus greatly confused when Celestia sat back with a very large sigh of resignation. "Sister what's wrong, we must make haste." Luna tried valiantly to rouse her Sister to get moving, but Tia just motioned for her to sit back down.

"It would do us no good to rouse the Guard and rush to the Studios, also I am not comfortable with the thought of you facing Nightmare Moon. I don't want to risk losing you for another thousand years or even longer." Celestia urged Luna to calm down.

"Well why not go yourself or better yet send our saviors in Ponyville, to capture her she is still a threat." Luna retorted with conviction. Celestia felt a little bad about having to take the wind from her sails.

"Its not that I won't its more I can't. Wall Flower has told me of her home town where she mainly lives, from what she said it is not something known by outsiders since before the Unification of the tribes. She has never told me, not that she didn't want to, but its just their way. I even hired Daring Doo to try and find out just what her hometown is, when she came up with nothing I tried to have her trailed. When they lost her at the boarder of the city every time, I decided to try to magically track her through Scrying. Even then the spells always lost her at the edge of the city." Celestia informed her sister tiredly.

After about a minute to think that over Luna asked, "Wait you said she must have an amazing information network, you even admitted to it being far better than our own, how were you able to keep all of those efforts from her notice?"

"She said she knew about every single one along with the Scrying spells, she even knew about my orders to Daring Doo. Which I did at Daring Doo's house in pony no less!" Celestia took a deep breath. "After the first trailing attempt, and we had our usual get together she told me she found it amusing in my attempts to find her home. She even encouraged me to continue trying, stating that it lets her practice her art. Every time we met up she would have a full report of my agents that had tailed her last, she always insisted that she meet with the agent for a few hours the next day. They always had a huge increase in there ability to stay hidden, and gather information, but even after those lessons they still couldn't tail her which she found even more amusing when she talked with me. Yes while, with her hobby of helping our agents improve, she still has a far better network. Though she does give us packets on threats, ponies of interest, and so on every week. She just refuses to merg her network with ours, stating that 'two ears are better than one'." Celestia took a moment to think on what she wanted to say next, only to be interrupted by the Show resuming. "Oh, look its back on. Lets just sit back and watch, since Flower hasn't even informed me that Nightmare Moon was still alive, then she must not see her as a threat."

Luna lets out an explosive sigh as she slumps down. "okay maybe your right, not like we could do anything if we wanted to."

And thus they watched.

Author's Note

There a little world building, I think, well anyways it at least explained what I, Wall Flower, do as being a friend to Celestia. Again we still need questions to ask Moony, also please keep them PG rated.

*Real AN*
To be completely honest I wrote both of these chapters late in the day on around three(3) hours of sleep. Even if its not that good, I'm still put out two chapters of more than 1,500 words. I could never write more than 500 words before that wasn't just details about Everything. So again any mistakes, thoughts, ideas, comments, or just to say hi it would be great.

The Questioning

The Real MacColt Studios, [REDACTED]

*Opening Music*
Studio lights flashing, Camera pans in from above.

Visible on the stage is a conversation between NightMare Moon and Wall Flower, both of whom seem to be finishing up a lovely conversation.

"Hello, and welcome back to The Real MacColt, with our First ever guest The Mare in the Moon, NightMare Moon." Wall Flower cheers to the camera with a ecstatic wave. "Before we continue, I know the NightMare Moon is a mouth full to say so from here on I'll be referring to her as Moon for ease of conversation." Flower flashes a smirk to NMM, "Isn't that right Luny-Moonie, since we're the best of friends." To which a wave of light laughter is heard.

NMM growls threateningly towards me, with a glare promising a thousand painful deaths for what I have done. All easily ruined by the increasing blush of embarrassment. "I hate you so much right now." Moon replies as serious as a heart attack, though the twitching on her lips shows she is playing along. After several seconds of holding her glare Moon just heaves a sigh and rolls her eyes at my antics.

"Awe I love you too Moonie" I retort genuinely. "Now though we must move on to the questions that you promised answers for. Ready?" Flower asks as she shuffles some papers about the desk. She answers with a simple nod.

"Alrighty, first off why don't I start with something simple. So since your return and subsequent battle with the Elements of Harmony in the throne room of the Castle of the Two Sisters, where you were defeated, have you tried to continue your plot for Global... Domination?" Flower asks.

"Well after my defeat I spent several months recovering from being ripped from Princess Luna, rather painfully. I was found by a friendly pony who help nurse me back to health as well as educate me on why Eternal Night would not be simple Global Domination but rather Global Extinction. She was kind enough to also help me get over my unending Rage towards Celestia." Moon explains drearily and the whole time looking down at the floor.

I still have a smile though it has turned thin and grim at the dower mood Moon is in. "Okay why don't you explain why you were so angry with Princess Celestia?" Flower asks gently.

"Well most of it came from Celestia neglecting somepony important to me, who means the world to me, my Mother. Celestia's neglect caused so much suffering for ponies that I held dear, who I still do. So in an attempt to help my Mother I found an artifact of great power that would let me help my Mother. There were however complications with the artifact such as it was fueled by Corrupting Magic, without truly knowing what I possessed I activated the artifact. What happened next I don't truly know, what I do I have had to piece together about the artifact." Moon takes a shuddering breath to keep her composure. "When I used it, it drove me mad with its power while also erasing me from the memories of those who knew me. After which the artifact drove me to possess my Mother, thus beginning NightMare Moon's reign of terror and threat of Night Eternal." Moon is visibly shaking with tears flowing down her cheeks. Flower not able to stand her friend hurting so moves to comfort the dark mare with soothing words and a warm hug, Flower doesn't move for several minutes.

The audience is stunned to tears, though they are not the only ones.

Palace of Friendship, Ponyville, Equestria

"Whaa! That's so sad!" Pinkie is bawling her eyes out while the rest of her friends are barely holding it together. Though they remain silent they sadly nod in agreement with the Pink mare.

Canterlot Royal Palace, Canterlot, Equestria

Both Royal Sister's are so shocked that their usually flowing manes stop moving for the news while far fetched rings true to the Sisters though they can't remember what happened all those years ago. Tears glistening in their eyes as they realize they can't remember there is nothing more than a hole filled with nothing grief and anguish.

Author's Note

Sorry everypony, I tried to pick it up where I left it all those months ago. I just don't really know how I can get out of this. I think I'm going to try starting a new story and hopefully I'll comeback and do a rewrite.

[Rewrite]?

Okay I have written myself into a corner with this story, however I liked some ideas of it that I have decided to completely redo it I mean I won't be the same. So I guess I'm going to leave this on hiatus in case I think of a way to get out of this corner. Because I do plan on it if the idea comes to me, but until then I'm going to be using this as a blueprint at best.

I am NOT abandoning this story! I've just happen to run full speed into a brick wall of a writers block.

PS. I'm not sure if that counts as a rewrite of doing such an overhaul in changes that they are completely different. Also please check out my new story and let me know how you feel, as well as informing me whether or not it should be called a rewrite.

P.P.S. Thanks for reading!:pinkiehappy: