That's not what spooning means!

by Silent Whisper

Rating: mature
Tags: Scootaloo, Random, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Nurse Redheart, Comedy
Length: 1314

Spooning must have a completely different meaning than what Scootaloo had been taught. Was Rainbow Dash's interpretation of the phrase right? Having that many spoons in that particular spot must be rather uncomfortable, after all.

Spooning must mean something completely different than what Scootaloo had been taught. Was Rainbow Dash's interpretation of the phrase right? Scootaloo didn't know. All she knew was that having that many spoons in that particular spot must be rather uncomfortable.

Published 2017-11-21 06:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-21 06:00:07 UTC

Using mainly spoons...

Nurse Redheart took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before slowly letting it out. “Let me get this straight. Fucking a pineapple was not enough for the awesome Rainbow Dash, so she did what now?”

Scootaloo shifted in her seat, her crash helmet still on. She’d ridden as fast as she could on her scooter once she’d seen the disaster. “I... It’s kind of an odd story, Nurse.”

The nurse settled back, tilting a clipboard in her lap and poising a quill over the page. It left a small dot where the tip rested against it, ready to scribble as Scootaloo talked. “Start from the beginning, then. I need all the details, so I can specifically instruct Ms. Dash on how to avoid repeating this… incident.”

The little filly bit her lip and rocked in her chair, trying to look around the corner into the ER’s hallway. “She’s gonna be okay, right?”

Redheart took another slow, deep breath and nodded. “She should be, yes. Now, tell me what happened.”

Scootaloo sighed, perched on the edge of her chair. “This time, I didn’t crash at all, I promise! It was after school, and Miss Cheerilee had given us a special assignment…”

The wheels of the scooter rattled in a comforting manner as Scootaloo raced towards Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie said that’s where Rainbow Dash was; according to her, Rainbow was looking after the shop while Pinkie went out to get Emergency Party Surprise Supplies. Scootaloo was tempted for a second to ask her what exactly that was, but then decided against it. The explanation would probably take hours and boil down to something about oatmeal, and besides, Pinkie was probably just being Pinkie.

Probably.

Scootaloo decided not to think too much on the matter, as that would probably give her a splitting headache for her trouble. She swerved around a corner in Ponyville and narrowly missed colliding into a few ponies getting up from sitting on a bench.

Scootaloo wondered why she was so excited about the homework assignment. It was weird, because Scootaloo never got excited about homework! That sort of thing was what eggheads like Twilight would feel, not somepony as awesome as Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash wouldn’t approve of her squealing and bouncing around over a homework assignment.

Still, Miss Cheerilee’s announcement made Scootaloo want to squee with delight. Interviewing an older pony about how their average day went wasn’t the most exciting thing on its own, but come on! This was Rainbow Dangerously Professional Dash! Her average day must be super awesome! She was a Wonderbolt, after all.

Scootaloo parked her scooter in front of Sugarcube Corner and gathered her things, assignment paper flapping as she tucked it under her wing. Notepad? Check. Quill and ink? Double check. Extras of everything in case Rainbow Dash does something so awesome that her homework gets ruined? Check, check, and check. Geez, she was starting to think like an egghead too! She’d better get to Rainbow Dash before all of her awesomeness went away completely.

The filly pushed the door open, and the bell that announced that somepony entered didn’t chime. Scootaloo looked up. It had been taped over, so that it wouldn’t make a sound. In retrospect, that should have been her first clue that something was up.

A gasp came from behind the counter, followed by an odd tinkling sound, almost like windchimes. Another clink, another gasp. That should have been her second clue, but Scootaloo didn’t think of that. She didn’t run off to ask Pinkie where Rainbow was, she didn’t even announce her arrival, which was a pity, because both of those would have been smarter options. Instead, Scootaloo crept forward as quietly as she could and peeked behind the front counter, curiosity burning inside of her.

She instantly regretted her decision.

Rainbow Dash was lying on her back on the floor, cups full of eating utensils surrounding her. Her eyes were shut, and she was breathing heavily. At first, Scootaloo thought that somepony must have stabbed her with a fork or something, because she was groaning and twitching on the floor. It looked quite uncomfortable there.

Then she looked further, and blushed. Rainbow’s hooves were at her mare bits, working something silver into her private parts. Scootaloo’s eyes widened as she backed up, her tail rising, probably just out of nervousness. Certainly nothing to do with the slotted spoon that was halfway embedded in her hero’s pussy.

Rainbow seemed to be very aware of its presence, too. She kept moaning and arching her back as she slowly pushed it deeper and deeper. Scootaloo’s ears slicked back. This… was weird. If this was what Rainbow Dash’s average day went like, Scootaloo wasn’t sure it would work well on her report, but she wrote it down anyway. Maybe it would be worth extra credit?

Her cries were really getting louder, though. Rainbow kept tilting and twisting the spoon inside her, pushing the tip of it up in her marehood. Should Scootaloo do something? Was Rainbow okay? She bit her lip and decided to do something, and reached out her hoof to tap Rainbow on the shoulder when Rainbow Dash screamed.

Scootaloo flinched and covered her ears. Rainbow Dash was convulsing on the ground, her legs twitching wildly, the spoon sticking out of her mare bits like a little flagpole. Some clear wet stuff was leaking out around it. For some reason, this made Scootaloo feel warm and damp in her private parts, and she didn’t know why. She unplugged her ears when Rainbow stopped shrieking. She was just panting now, sprawled behind the counter.

The filly was about to ask her if she needed help or something when Rainbow Dash sat up slightly and fumbled for another spoon. “Heh, Rarity said that spooning was wonderful, but I didn’t think it would be this nice! N-now, to spoon some more…” She slurred and pressed the tip of a serving spoon into her marehood, next to the other one.

Scootaloo had seen enough. She turned tail and ran out of Sugarcube Corner as fast as she could. Maybe, this time, she could make it to warn somepony before Rainbow Dash needed to go to the doctors. Maybe…

“Needless to say, I didn’t quite make it. She was on spoon number five before I returned with Pinkie, and had pushed in a seventh by the time we got here. So, um…” Scootaloo trailed off, kicking her hind hooves as she perched on the edge of her chair. “Can I go see her now?”

Nurse Redheart finished scribbling, her cheeks a bright red. It was probably because it was too warm in here, Scootaloo figured. Nurses don’t get flustered, and nurses certainly don’t laugh about the weird and horrible things that happen to confused ponies, right? “She should be out soon, dear. Why don’t you just wait here? I, ah, need to confer with the doctors about this.”

Scootaloo nodded tiredly as Nurse Redheart walked around the corner and into the next room. Her ears barely perked at the loud laughter in the next room. That must belong to a patient. Nurses never laugh until they’re in tears about the horrible things that happen to ponies, especially Rainbow Dash!

She nodded, pleased with this conclusion, and decided to ask the Nurse later what “spooning” meant, and why ponies would ever want to do it to themselves. Despite Rainbow’s dazed smile, it didn’t seem at all like something somepony would do for fun.

Author's Note

Why do I write the things that I write? Why did I decide that Rainbow Dash screwing herself with a pineapple needed a sequel? Will Scootaloo ever learn what is and isn't appropriate to use as a masturbation aide?

Find out all of this and more in my next fic!