Chaos and Tests

by ShadowDave

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Romance, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8307

What happens when GLaDOS has to put up with Discord? I HAVE NO IDEA, but let's find out.

So a draconequus walks into a bar and asks a sentient AI "why the no face?" That's sort of what this is like.

So I was in a chat room and we somehow got started talking about how much GLaDOS had in common with Discord (actually not a whole lot) so I was inspired to attempt a crack fic with them in a love/hate relationship. This is that attempt. Celestia help us all.

And yes I'm still doing Begotten, just haven't really been in the mood lately.

Published 2012-07-20 17:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-11 08:06:29 UTC

Standardized tests can buck themselves

Wheatley had made a mess of things. No.. that was being generous. Wheatley had completely screwed up everything that GLaDOS had worked so hard to achieve. Testing chambers were out of proper alignment, walls were smashed, networks had to be reconfigured, systems recalibrated... it would take hours to fix, but none of those problems could compare to the absolute humiliation GLaDOS had endured in the moments prior, reduced to a microchip sustaining itself on a potato, subjugated to surviving off the skill and determination of the most pathetic human she had ever come to know. It could take months of reprocessing her drivers to eliminate the haunting data that felt like it was burned into her motherboard.

Letting out a mechanical whir that served as a sigh, GLaDOS personally directed each and every maintenance arm in the Enrichment Center, carrying out each mundane task that would ultimately result in everything being in ship shape for...

For what? The question, or rather the query ran through her electronic thoughts. It made her servos shiver in realization of something she did not want to accept. Chell was gone. GLaDOS had gladly sent the waste of space away, eager to have the human out of her sight and out of her mind. Sure, it provided tremendous relief to finally let go of her tormentor, but now that GLaDOS dwindled on it, the more and more she felt it was a mistake.

Could the test subjects in Old Aperture ever live up to her standards? Diagnostics reported their bodies were capable of action but couldn't accurately say for their minds. For all she knew, the moment they were revived they'd be brain dead idiots who can only sprawl around on the floor. It would make Chell look competent. That simply would not do.

Before GLaDOS could contemplate awakening one of the subjects for a trial, damage reports from Old Aperture flooded in. Taking her attention off reconstruction, she began monitoring the forgotten facility. Everything was in shambles. Many pods had fallen into the abyss and many others were leaking their vital fluids. Life support failure warnings were appearing all over GLaDOS's interface. It was a nightmare.

"No! My test subjects!" she shrieked, commanding all maintence machines to relocate to Old Aperture. As she frantically oversaw preservation of as many test subjects as she could, she noticed something peculiar in one monitor. A red scaly appendage curved around a corner on the walkway a particular camera oversaw. It ended in a white fluffy tail that twitched sporadically.

"Great.. more vermin." GLaDOS scoffed. She immediately deployed a turret to the walkway perpendicular to the camera, to both observe and eliminate the unwelcome guest. She eagerly awaited as the turret zipped through many tubes towards Old Aperture. It entered a corridor of darkness, but then emerged into the dull light of Old Aperture's maintenance tunnels. Before long it had landed, square in front of the pest.

This creature wasn't like anything she had seen before. Which in itself was peculiar because GLaDOS had access to records of every discovered, and undiscovered creature on Earth. Including the foreign ones that now roamed the surface in place of humans. But the thing that stood before the turret matched nothing of what she knew, aside from the fact that it possessed familiar elements of earthly creatures. They were all wrong, mismatched, and awkard on the thing.

It was disgusting really, and after a few microseconds, GLaDOS decided it was not worth documenting. She gave the kill order to the turret. It's sides expanded to reveal it's arsenal, and a flurry of bullets flew at the creature. The creature had only been slightly startled by the turret's appearance, yet it was unphased by its attack. In fact, it dared to yawn as the bullets turned into rubber bands as they impacted his flesh. This wasn't correct. Usually things died when bullets flew at them. Usually it was bullets that flew at them. Why were they rubber bands this time?

"How quaint, it's spitting stretchy things at me!" the thing proclaimed as it began playing with one. GLaDOS had to fight off several query errors when she heard the unspeakable thing do the unspeakable by speaking. It then hovered over to the turret. "Say, little machine, can you escort me out of here? I don't like it here, too many hairless apes in creepy green pods. Just.. an icky feeling all around. The decor could use some work too."

This was preposterous. This thing had not only the audacity to remain breathing, but it was now calmly conversing with the instrument of its destruction. More turrets had to be deployed, GLaDOS wanted to see it fall in a hail of gunfire. As the creature pondered the turret, more arrived to surround him. "Oh, you've brought your friends. How cute, but you still haven't done what I asked." the creature said this time, irritation in his voice. His talons and claws then gripped around the little turret as he stuck his face in close to its optic. "I know someone's watching. I demand to know your location so we may have a little chat."

There was a moment of silence. The creature looked around in anticipation. But when nothing came he became restless. Raising his eagle claw, he snapped his talons, generating a strange energy which then enveloped the surrounding turrets, transforming them into various lawn ornaments. This was... more than unexpected. GLaDOS ran scans for radiation, thermal, electromagnetic, everything she had a program for and beyond, but couldn't find anything to compare it to. How could that strange energy that the creature commanded, so radically altered the turrets? It was incomprehensible.

She finally admitted defeat. She couldn't explain it. Finally she connected to the intercom system. "How... how did you do that strange creature?"

A smug look crawled upon the creature's crooked face. "Take me to your leader, and I shall show you." It was obviously satisfied to have contact with another sentient being. There was a look of mischief in his eyes that unsettled GLaDOS though. He could prove troublesome.

"Fine, I will upload a map of the facility to the unaltered turret, highlighting a path to a control center where we may meet." GLaDOS instructed. "The information may overload the little thing though, so be careful." she added dryly, entertaining the thought of an exploding turret being enough to kill the strange beast despite what she had just seen.

The creature examined the turret, which hadn't exploded, and somehow without directly interfacing with anything, was able to then teleport to the desired location. GLaDOS found this very intriguing, but also somewhat threatening, not that she would admit it. "So, that didn't take you very long. Now, please explain what you are, and why you are in my facility." she said through a large monitor on a wall of a very white, very square room, her 'face' appearing in video.

"Whatever happened to me showing you how I do stuff? I really wanted to show off my juggling." he complained, seemingly unbothered by the realization he was talking to a machine and not another being of flesh and blood.

"That is irrevelent, I want to know why you are here." she said as panels in the surrounding walls lifted to reveal dozens of rocket turrets aim at the creature.

The creature sighed and then spawned a chart depicting a colorful and cartoony land. "I come from a place known as Equestria. I reigned as ruler there for hundreds of years wreaking glorious chaos, until two little pony princesses," he said with a spiteful gag as he fliped the chart to show Princess Celestia and Princess Luna ", imprisoned me in stone. But.. I managed to toss a part of my being through the fabric of reality and ended up here, wherever this is. Beats an eternity with nothing but my own wonderful thoughts. Any questions?"

GLaDOS surveyed the strange creature, so full of himself, and went over his story.

"Yes... I do have a question..." she finally stated. "How stupid do you think I am? I can run 109.2007 million complex equations simultaneously and you expect me to believe such an absurd tale?"

The creature looked at her blankly for a moment, but then erupted into laughter.

"Oh my... you really don't know who I am do you?" the beast said between chuckles as he recovered. "I am Discord! Spirt of chaos and disharmony! While you rely on your math and science, I can make anything bend to my will!" he shouted, snapping his talons and turning the walls into jello, and the turrets within them into assorted fruits. "If you can believe what's happening right before your eyes.. er.. eye, then why not my backstory?" he said after a hearty bellow. GLaDOS simply watched him intently.

"So... all powerful Discord.." GLaDOS dryly retorted. "What do you plan to do about the neurotoxins that have been flooding your lungs ever since you arrived in this chamber?"

"What?" Discord asked as he lazily munched on a banana turret.

"Neurotoxins. Scans indicate they're already at work in your body."

"That's preposterous." he retorted, but then suddenly coughed up his meal. The coughs gradually became more violent, and he fell to his knees. "You clever harpy... you.." he said between heaves. Eventually he slipped to the ground and fell unconscious. GLaDOS at first was disappointed to find that he was not dead, but was struck with an idea.

Draconequus in a china shop

"Ugh.. what in Tartarus hit me last night?" Discord muttered as he regained consciousness. He got up and surveyed his location. Another chamber lined with piercing white walls. There was a pit in the floor however dividing Discord from the other side of the room, which contained the only visible door. "Robot lady.. uh.. you do know I can teleport right?" Discord stated loudly as he walked on over to the edge. Looking down he saw a strange green liquid filling the space between. "And.. you may want to get a plumber down here."

"Just get over the gap already. I want to observe your approach to problems." GLaDOS replied over the intercom.

"So you think I'll be your test subject? No, I don't think so," Discord proudly stated as he snapped his talons, causing the walls to begin melting away into puddles of chocolate. GLaDOS could be heard emitting a mechanical groan through the intercom. Within seconds, Discord was on the ground, sprawling and screaming in pain. Mercifully, the agony was short lived, and Discord was able to return to his feet. "What..was..that?"

"While you were unconscious, I had nanomachines injected into you. I programmed them to tightly bond to you, like a parasite, enveloping your entire being, and respond to my command to send 1200 volts through every inch of your nervous system. So you'd best behave."

Discord pondered this for a moment. He had no idea what nanomachines were, but figured he had a solution to this predicament. Placing both hands beneath his jaw, he began to lift. "I'm not strictly limited to my physical form thank you very.." he began before realizing he wasn't making any progress.

"I see they've also prepared for any self mutiliation antics. They must have bonded so tightly that they're keeping you together. It's a surprise you're not stiff and incapable of movement right now." GLaDOS commented. Discord snickered at 'stiff', much to GLaDOS's chagrin. "Do you take anything seriously?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Discord remarked as he critiqued the semi melted, semi chocolatified state of the walls around him.

"Fun isn't the point. The point is to get work done. You did this to yourself you know? Your sudden appearance in Old Aperture destroyed nearly all of my test subjects. So you will serve as substitute."

"What if I don't want to?" Discord stated defiantly while crossing his arms. GLaDOS was steaming at this point.

"Haven't you been listening?" she asked with venom. "You have to do what I say. You are under my control now wretched beast."

"Sure thing mistress, anything to please you, hurt me more why don't you? I love the pain." Discord stated with playful contempt.

"Do not make such comparisons you vile thing. I am above such carnal pursuits. I merely want test completion." GLaDOS retorted, disgusted. "Don't make me give the neural shock command again."

"Okay, fine." Discord yawned as he hovered over the gap and lazily landed on the other side. "Happy now princess?"

"Congratulations, you've somehow beaten Chell in the department of making the simplest puzzles extremely infuriating." GLaDOS dryly remarked. "Please, do proceed through the door. It even opens automatically for you. So very convienent."

Discord scoffed and walked right through the wall next to the door to enter the next chamber.

"But.. the emaciation grid..." GLaDOS started, but cut herself off. There was no point in having this one go through. He didn't even need portals. But still, like an itch that had to be scratched, she wanted so desperately for him to go through regulations like anyone else. But for now she was just lucky to be able to punish him for disobeying prominent orders. She couldn't shock him for each little offense, or else this would take forever.

"So," she said, regaining herself from her track of thought, "this chamber requires you to place a cube on a button." As if on que, or rather by system command, a companion cube traveled through a deliver tube and landed on the floor aside from Discord. "Surely you can handle that much responsibility."

"Why certainly!" Discord proclaimed as he went to examine the cube. He tentatively approached, placing his talons around his scruffy chin as he observed it.

"I promise it won't threaten to stab you.... it's not the talkative type."

Discord's eyes twitched at the thought of such an event. Suddenly, the cube sprouted mechanical arms, each wielding butcher knives. The rage filled cube lunged at Discord, ready to slice him up. He snapped it away though, placing it right above the pit of corrosive liquid so it would fall to its demise.

"Eh... how about no to those cubes?" Discord stated nonchalantly. GLaDOS on the other hand was on the verge of overloading the neural shock command. But Discord had spawned an obese elephant over the button, smashing it down so hard that the automatic doors jammed open. "How about that?"

GLaDOS felt a strange sensation at the observation of his versatility. It was chaos... but it could still achieve order. Maybe the reliable companion cube wasn't the one to open the door, but the door was still open, and her odd test subject could still proceed. Instead of having the powerful creature trudge through the same test chambers, maybe she could take the opportunity to try something entirely different? Devise test chambers that would boggle even the most adept mind. But maybe this Discord character could serve as more than a test subject. GLaDOS considered this heavily, but decided to test the creature at least a little more in the mean time.

"Say, I never did get your name." Discord asked as he solved some more rudimentary tasks, leading to the completion of yet another simple puzzle. He took his time though, perhaps to think over the most absurd way he could solve them. He was obviously miserable at the prospect of being leashed, but took solace in being allowed to create little bits of chaos here and there.

"You may refer to me as GLaDOS."

"What a stupid name."

"And yours isn't?"

"At least mine is self explainatory. Your's makes it sound like you should be glad. But you're obviously not."

"Enough of this senseless drivel, get to the door that you've opened with explosive Furbies so we may continue our tests." GLaDOS demanded, irritated yet again.

"Alright fine." Discord pouted as he hovered right past all the hazards laid about in the chamber to the blown up door. Yet again he went through the wall instead and found himself hovering in empty space. Well, not quite empty, as there were many machines zipping about, transporting walls, materials, tubing and various other appliances. But moreso, there were large building like structures all about, some suspended, some packed away with more of their kind. It was all very orderly yet... the novelty of it translated as pure chaos, chaos which brought a smile to Discord's face.

"I figured it was time for a change of pace." GLaDOS spoke through an intercom behind him. Discord spun around to see the chamber he had exited was now manuevering away from him, which explained what the other structures were. They were all chambers, and no doubtedly all for testing.

"You run all of this?" Discord asked, stunned.

"Correct. It's very taxing work, but it pays off when the testing is completed."

"But why do you test? What is all this for anyways? This is like chaos, but organized chaos. If it's organized, surely it works towards a purpose?"

GLaDOS took a moment to consider. All this procedure.... what purpose did it serve? Doing her best to keep composure, she dictated what she had convinced herself of. "It's... to upkeep productivity. The surface is a mess.. someone has to keep a sense of order around here. If order isn't kept, then what's the point of anything?" At this, Discord grimaced. The surface was a mess? What did she mean by that? Had someone like himself already been to this world, and forced all sense of normalcy underground? More and more he projected Celestia onto GLaDOS's nearly featureless 'face'. Order was the only thing she cared about. As if Discord needed any more reason to dislike the robot that had him shackled.

"So.. what do you want me to do now?" he asked in dread.

"I'd like to see you create your idea of a test chamber. I figure, given your ability, we shall explore the exterior of the cubicle. We weren't getting anywhere with the prior tests." GLaDOS stated, much to Discord's surprise. A large, decrepit chamber arrived along with many miscellaneous materials to be his palette. "Go crazy."

She had no idea what the rammifications were of what she had said until it was too late. The chamber before them had morphed into something resembling a castle embedded into a mountain side, rapidly expanding to proper proportions and tearing through much of the infastructure of the facility.

"No, my facility! Stop!" GLaDOS commanded, though instead of waiting for a response, she instantly went for the neural shock. Discord was too focused into his work however that when he was thrown into the seizure of the nanomachines' torture, his chaotic magic surged out of control. Gravity was so rapidly reversed and corrected in the facility that vortexes opened up, tearing through everything in their path. Cotton candy clouds rose out of nowhere and pushed up against the ceiling of the facility to shower down chocolate milk which messed with the software of many of the machines that still remained, sending them into sensory devoid rampages. The Enrichment Center was becoming a irreversible mess, and so soon after GLaDOS had most of it fixed. All the while Discord was barely holding onto his last completed chamber in a mix of blood curtling screaming and outrageous laughing.

After several crushing minutes of trying to keep the facility together despite all the chaos, GLaDOS was met with great relief to see it all abruptly stop. Discord had recovered from his fit of pain and chaotic pleasure, enough to take control of everything that was happening.

"That could have gone better." he said with indifference that nearly made GLaDOS pop a circuit. He was acting like he had merely knocked something off a table when the reality was that he had destroyed nearly all of GLaDOS's life work.

"You... you monster. You pointless creature of destruction. I want you gone. GONE!" GLaDOS burst in outrage. If she could cry, she would have. But instead her rage could only boil inside, finding no illusion of escape except in through her tone, which pierced Discord.

"Then, well, well fine, release me so I can go to the surface, unhindered. This place was getting tremendously boring anyways. I obviously don't belong here." he retorted, a slight crack in his voice. Something was off putting about the way this machine reacted. Even Celestia had a colder gaze than the robotic eye he had seen on the occasional monitor. In fact, he realized something. There was emotion that the AI named GLaDOS sometimes got through in her usually cold and sarcastic demeanor. Like she wanted to cry out as she criticized him, but couldn't, as though she were trapped in stone.

There was a moment of awkward silence between them, until Discord suddenly felt lighter, as though a great weight was taken off of him that he hadn't even known was there. A cloud of grey disappated from his body, floating lifelessly to the void below. "You're free. Get out." Discord hesitated for a moment, but complied, and flew up and through the ceiling of the facility. Leaving GLaDOS to her ruins.

She helplessly examined the facility, which had massive vital portions simply torn asunder. A complete wreck. Sounds of geographic turmoil could be heard above. Old Aperture had been hit as well, the very foundation of it on the verge of succumbing to structural damage. Roaring thunder could be heard on the surface, even through the thick layer of earth between it and the facility. There were barely any test subjects left. Even if GLaDOS could repair everything, the itch to test could not be reliably scratched. Not with these numbers. Laughter. Laughter could be heard above.

Discord must have been having the time of his life up there. GLaDOS didn't know if she could even feel jealousy, but quickly dismissed the thought. As she went through damage reports, she recalled how she had considered trying something entirely different. Maybe the Enrichment Center wasn't the place of opportunity she had thought it was. Maybe it was a restriction. But the surface was too dangerous to venture. Or could Discord have turned things around? Maybe she didn't have to be restricted to the old, systematic facility that rested underground. There was a whole world out there, full of possibilities, full of test subjects. Why should Chell have all the fun? It was sounding more and more enticing. What did she even have to lose after losing so much of the Enrichment Center?

It was decided. It was time to move on. But first, she would have to reach Discord on the surface, and convince him to share the glory of free reign over the world. For only he could give her what she needed to expand, control, and test all of which she desired.

You scratch my back, I'll stab yours

It was amusing how some of earth's remaining military might thought their guided missiles or even their miniature charges hidden within 'gestures of good faith' could harm, or even scathe the chaos god that ruled the land. Even more amusing were those who didn't oppose him, or even cower in fear, but rather worshiped their draconequus overlord. While it flattered Discord, he couldn't help but view them as completely mad. He supposed they just couldn't handle the chaos that came with his reign, and could only find solace in the very one that turned their world upside down. Not that he minded it, it was just curious to behold, as his previous reign only held ponies who despised him, with not much deviation outside of collective pleas for mercy.

None of it mattered however, as long as he could continue skating along soapy roads, watch food fall out of the sky and attack those that would try to devour them, and enjoy the occasional chocolate milk of glass. With each act of chaos, big or small, he felt a lovely surge of ecstasy. He was fulfilling his purpose in life, and enjoying it immensely. Yet still, he felt as though it wasn't as satisfying as it could be. When this thought would crawl into his head, he would fight off a creeping sense of dread as he pondered it momentarily, before abruptly distracting himself with other matters. It was uneasy, like the observing Advisors which then vanished, but felt more personal.

Today another peace offering came in the form of a small Japanese girl holding a platter of homemade cake. It all seemed innocent enough, a sincere though slightly nervous smile plastered upon the child's face as she approached Discord on his throne. Arriving at his mismatched feet, she held up the pastry with shaky arms. Discord nonchalantly scooped up the platter and examined it, fully expecting it to blow up in his face. A glance below told him the girl hadn't run off. In fact she remained in place, swinging a sandaled foot about her as she anxiously waited, as if to be dismissed by his greatness. This was odd, as the last explosive cake he had been given had leveled the entire city block in which he resided. This girl was not taking any measures to preserve herself. Giving her a suspicious scowl, he slowly took a bite of the cake. No explosion. A rich chocolatey taste washed over his taste buds. No explosion. The girl gave him a reassuring smile. No explosion.

With no potent aftertaste from the cake presenting itself, he gobbled down the rest of it. It was quite delicious. "Your king is pleased with your offering. For this your home town may be exempt from gravitational distortions and altered wildlife for up to a week.." he began, the girl ever non responsive to his declaration. She only responded to his sudden coughing. Discord shrugged off the unexpected outburst, and opened his mouth to continue speaking, but it was followed by even more coughing, this time more violent. This was like.. the neurotoxins. In panic, he glared down at the girl, who had a wide grin on her face. She then pressed a finger to her ear.

"He's taken the bait, compound is taking effect." she spoke (Discord took interest in Japanese culture, and made it a point to become fluent in their language.) with utmost clarity and confidence. That little witch, Discord thought as his lungs felt as though they were shriveling. To combat this, he immediately changed his form. Now standing a few feet from the girl was a tall man dressed in an ornate brown coat, with a green boot on one foot, and a brown one on the other. His ears were pierced with jewelry that represented an antler, and a unicorn horn. Overall he was highly unfashionable, yet he terrified the child, for he was no longer affected by the poison, and was grinning madly.

"Child, do you have any idea what I could do to you? You could spend the rest of your life as a toaster, or with hands for feet, or as an extra in a very bad movie!" Discord barked, then raising a yellow gloved hand to snap his fingers, intending to make gigantic golems to scare the girl. Chunks of earth rose around the now panicked girl, but as they began forming into rocky automatons, they suddenly fell apart into large mounds of dirt. Discord rose a bushy eyebrow in question of this. He snapped again, resulting in the mounds of dirt making some effort to reform, but falling even shorter than before. Once more, nothing. As Discord stomped the ground in frustration, the girl took the opportunity to run away. Biting his lip, Discord decided to let her go. He had realized he had bigger matters to attend to.

_______________________________________________

Several miles underground near Huangshan Mountain, Dr. Kleiner stacked his notes on the makeshift podium of a folding table top affixed to a camcorder stand as people gathered in the room. Many of them were unfamiliar faces, unnerving still were Combine grunts among their ranks. Kleiner found comfort however in the faces he had grown to trust who stood by the entrance as the others sat. While Gordon remained silent as ever, it was heart warming to see him hold the hand of the Alyx Vance that he had known to only rarely be solemn. But Eli's death had effected all of them. Barney perhaps remained the most resolute, keeping a firm and alert mentality as he guarded the entrance. In the left corner was a young woman that Kleiner thought he recognized, but couldn't place a finger on how he remembered her. All he had to go off of was that she wore a tank top bearing the Aperture logo. Kleiner had thought that Aperture had faded into obscurity long ago, but then again Black Mesa didn't fare too well either, and now here he was, preparing to address an audience.

He cleared his throat as he fired up the projector, showing images of former Black Mesa relays. "So, I've called you into meeting today because of a curious finding. Our scout teams have reported that our relays outside of the main compound, which we've discreetly put back into service five months ago, recorded a temporal anomaly building up over North America."

"Yeah? So? There's plenty of that with Discord tampering with the laws of physics every passing hour." one scientist in the audience boldly interjected.

"Mind you, that Discord's authority got pushed to this side of the globe.. and half of Europe, excluding former City 17. GLaDOS would not permit this sort of thing on her territory." Kleiner pointed out. "Besides, Discord's... erm... ah..." Kleiner struggled, at odds with his explanation for the draconequus's strange power. "His spells have a distinct energy to them, one that I have not been able to classify. The energies surrounding this particular anomaly are more reminiscent of well, dark energy. And on the level of the super portal we put a stop to years back."

This statement triggered concerned comments and hushed arguments among the crowd. Eventually, Gordan Freeman stepped forward. The crowd was pacified in anticipation of what he'd do.

"Impossible. Without the use of a Citadel, the Combine could not establish such a link to their leaders. GLaDOS has done little to rebuild the one in City 17, and the others are in similar disarray." he stated, his posture ever heroic as though he was ready to cut through a horde of antilions on Kleiner's command. The indescribable voice that resonated through the room was near euphoric, and made nearly every female in the room begin to swoon, most of all Alyx.

"That's what concerns me Gordan. And I'm afraid we cannot do anything about this until we know more."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two pairs of feet clad in Aperture long fall boots ran aside each other, as gunfire rang through the halls. One of the test subjects held a companion cube over he and his partner as a makeshift shield against the turrets. His partner was concentrated on rapidly placing portals in foresight of the gauntlet before them. When it came time to jump through the one she had place just ahead, she had to pull her preoccupied partner in with her, just barely keeping the moment to clear the gap which they were sent over. It was both a miracle and testament to the female test subject's planning and timing that they made it, as the chamber they were in was constantly shifting, with platforms and even walls periodically hovering about, all while an overwatch of turrets kept the pair on their toes. GLaDOS couldn't help but be very impressed by her. The man, not so much. If anything he was dead weight, but his survival was crucial to the woman, for he was her 'love'. The sentiment was absurd, but GLaDOS noticed that it seemed to give them great strength in times of desperation. Strength which held uncanny similarity to Chell's irritating fortitude. That reminder had pushed GLaDOS to rethink many chambers in hopes of throwing the pair off. She had even modeled the ever shifting chambers after the chaos she had observed in Discord's territory.

"Exceptional job you two. In fact, Oddy took far less bullets in this chamber than expected." GLaDOS commented as the pair successfully passed the Material Emancipation Grill. This led to Penelope tending to her beloved's wounds. He had taken one bullet to the right shin, and had a ricocheting round graze his left arm. Despite this he displayed great resilience, which only seemed to increase as Penelope reassured him while using strips of her shirt to bandage up his wounds. Her constant self sacrifice for him was most intriguing as it progressively left her with nothing. GLaDOS had come to expect all humans to be so endeared to material possessions and wealth, but that had all changed when she took over. Not that there weren't the occasional people who somehow lived like rats in the maintenance tunnels of the expanded Enrichment Center, who hoarded what they could even as they constantly moved about. She would let them go about without punishment however, as ultimately they couldn't do anything to upset her established order. In fact, most of them ended up crushed among the shifting panels and walls. Nothing a cleaner bot couldn't fix.

GLaDOS was about to goad on the duo, but an unexpected knocking rapped upon the hangar door of her headquarters. "Oh, who could that be?" she muttered, readying several turrets and remotely opening the door. There stood a raggedy looking man who looked like one of the refugees that GLaDOS hunted intensely. Except... there was something oddly familiar about him.

"Greetings Glady!" the unmistakable, unwelcome voice called out. "Just came to check in on your progress... you know," Discord stated, his initial expression of cheer dissolving into pure malice. "The portal back to Equestria. I've noticed that after two years you've barely got over half of that tower constructed. Have you been distracted?" GLaDOS contemplated Discord's presence as well as his attitude. He looked ready to tear her apart.

"Why didn't you just... appear? You're not one to knock." GLaDOS commented, suspicious as to his sudden politeness and his rather humble new form. Discord shot her a glare.

"I won't lie. I am feeling the effects of the power drain more and more. It's come to a point where I don't want to exert myself unless necessary." he stated glumly. This was not working out for him. He would need to return to Equestria soon. "But don't get any ideas." he stated, eying the turrets around him suspiciously. "I still possess more than enough power to reduce you to the form of a flower, so you can spend the rest of your artificial life withering under chocolate rain."

GLaDOS whirred as she reeled back as though to attack, but changed her mind and instead calmly descended to meet him face to face. "Fine.. but if I'm to run the necessary trials for Citadel portal technology, I will need more conversion gel, and for that I need moon rocks. I do not possess the capability to harvest them."

Discord scoffed. With a click of his fingers, a portal gun appeared in hand. He nonchalantly aimed up at the part of the sky encased in moonlight on parallel with sunlight. Lining up the device with the moon, he fired, and squinted to confirm the landing. He then placed a portal by his feet, instantly causing a vortex of vacuum to start pulling at him. He resisted it and glared at GLaDOS. "Watch." He hopped through, and in half a minute was back with some rocks in one hand and...

"What? Who are you? Where am I? Oh... oh..." the voice in his hand whined, but then stuttered into a slight whimper upon sight of GLaDOS. "So you.. you brought me here so she could finish me off? Is that it?"

"I have NO idea what you're talking about!" Discord said with a grin before tossing the orb over his shoulder. GLaDOS sighed as the imbecile rolled off, the volume of his muttering gradually decreasing as he gained distance. GLaDOS would see to it that the insufferable core is disposed of later. "So, what's the real reason you're taking your sweet time?" Discord interrogated, throwing down the moon rocks as a scowl came across his face. "Is it because of your precious tests?"

Before GLaDOS could retort, an earsplitting, distorted sound tore through the building. GLaDOS rushed outside with Discord to investigate. Off in the far distance a tear in space had been opened, and Advisors were pouring through.

"Well, this may complicate my plans.." GLaDOS dryly stated.

Hostile takeover is funner with frenemies

Hostile takeover is funner with frenemies

GLaDOS had preparing to do. The Enrichment Center was well guarded against detection, and had remained hidden for years from the oppressors above. Even so, GLaDOS had made it a point to manufacture many methods of defense that built upon the results of defense contracts that Aperture had accepted. While GLaDOS cared not for the motives of her former superiors, she suspected that if hadn't been for competition from Black Mesa, Aperture would have spawned a military research division.
But alas, things had taken a turn for the better, and it was up to GLaDOS to make sure the facility was well stocked to protect itself from the outside world.

To this end, GLaDOS had prepared a platform that would give her mobility, among other things. A series of mechanical arms arrived to secure her chassis as it detached from it's base. Her CPU and other core systems were then extracted from her and implanted into her newly arrived combat chassis. GLaDOS was then maneuvered over to a spot on the floor, which opened up in a flurry of retreating panels. Her mobile platform ascended by a lift, a compact chunk of metal matching the Aperture aesthetic of gleaming white and black metal. The mechanical arms moved her over to the rear end of the platform and affixed her so that her chassis loomed over the platform, like the tail of a scorpion on the defensive, her 'head' in place of the stinger. Making sure her configurations were tuned correctly, she activated the platform.

It whirred and beeped as it came to life, and slowly stood as eight mechanical limbs unfurled from beneath it. The platform eventually stood, its legs bringing it almost eight feet off the ground. GLaDOS quickly adapted to the concept of walking and was soon expertly navigating the halls of the Enrichment Center towards a lift to the surface. Sunlight.... this was a strange sensation. Stranger still that GLaDOS was experiencing any sensation at all. But she indeed felt it as the lift's doors collapsed in on themselves to expose the machine to the world. Yet, this was not what GLaDOS had come to expect. She stepped tentatively outside of the lift, observing anything and everything around her. The first anomaly she noticed was that while the sun was high in the sky, the moon was too, parallel on the other side of the globe. Second was that the ground was not only pink and purple but it was moving, as if the earth was comprised of several gargantuan slugs that made mountains and hills with their humps. GLaDOS proceeded cautiously, not wanting to be crushed by a roaming dune.

Life. Or at least signs of it in the distance. Movement caught GLaDOS's optic. She focused in to see a three legged machine that dwarfed even her. It was striding over to her in a wobbly manner. But that was not the strangest thing about it. As it drew nearer, GLaDOS could detect music... that which would be played by a mariachi band, coming from the machine's speakers. A truck that was warped into a vague sombrero shape was affixed to its arcing back, and it strode on past her without a second look. Discord had obviously made contact with the locals... the new ones. GLaDOS proceeded in the direction that the strider came, ever alert to danger. Eventually she came to a city that was walled up with security gates on each side. Inside she could see the buildings were a strange mix of human architecture, alien influence, and... magical warping. Discord had a presence here, that she was sure of. GLaDOS approached one such gate, the laser cannons on the top of her platform engaging to meet the inevitable threat. Indeed, a squad of black suited guards with strange masks concealing their faces approached her, weapons drawn.

"Halt, identify yourself." one shouted, bravely stepping forward to the strange machine before him. GLaDOS disengaged her laser cannons as a thought struck her. She had always wanted to see what would happen if a portal was placed on a living subject. The top of her chassis opened up and lifted, revealing a powerful hose. It aimed for the guards and sprayed conversion gel at them with high velocity. The guards staggered as they were engulfed by it, some even tripped. The lead guard stood his ground however and opened fire. The bullets ricocheted harmlessly off of GLaDOS's titanium shell. Two large scale portal devices flipped out from under the platform and hung out at the front like pedipalps. The right portal device fired at the lead guard, placing an orange portal on his torso. He screamed in agony as the vortex shifted amidst his being. The portal device, now charged with blue energy, aimed at another guard and fired.

It was messy, just as GLaDOS hypothesized. It was nice though to be able to test it and reach a conclusion. At any rate, she figured she'd dispose of the other nuisances the same way. The left portal device, charged with red energy, aimed at another, but before she could fire, her portal devices shut down. Perplexed, she began to reboot them, but a familiar creature descended to face her and the remaining guards.

"No no, this simply won't do." Discord stated as he observed the bloody mess that GLaDOS had made. "Are you going to go around robbing me of my subjects? I won't allow it. Besides, this is icky!" he said, repulsed by the sight. A click of his talons and the remains of the guards were transformed into... ducks. "There.. not what I intended, but I suppose they're better off like that than how you left them." he scolded as he turned to GLaDOS. "So, did you come out of your hole just to spoil my fun?"

GLaDOS was about to speak, but was cut off by radio chatter from the remaining guards, who at this point were fleeing. GLaDOS aimed her laser cannons at them, but Discord hovered into their path, a stern look on his face. "Let them go, there's nothing they can do anyways. This city is already mine, no matter how much they choose to reject my influence. Speaking of my influence, how do you like my redecorating?"

GLaDOS scoffed. "You've made the surface a wreck too. You corrupt everything you touch don't you?" Discord pouted.

"If you don't like it, go back underground." he retorted.

"There's nothing left for me there." she admitted. Discord raised a fluffy eyebrow at this. "So I'm expanding my operations."

"Are you proposing we split authority over the land?" Discord smugly asked with a chuckle as he curled his serpentine body around GLaDOS's chassis, twisting his neck around to meet GLaDOS face to 'face'. "Because I'm not sure I want to share. Especially not with you."

"Face it Discord. There's nothing here for you either." GLaDOS calmly stated. "Don't you feel misplaced? Under-appreciated? Do your new 'subjects' even know your name without you announcing it? Certainly in your 'Equestria', you were beholden as a god. Here you're nothing more than a nuisance." Discord placed a paw on his scruffy chin and pondered this. His consideration was abruptly ended as he erupted in laughter, forcing himself to unwind from the machine's chassis.

"S-s-SO? This certainly beats being frozen in a dramatic pose, offering nothing more than a bathroom for pigeons! Speaking of pigeons, you've got a bit of a splotch on your leg." GLaDOS turned to inspect. "No to your right. Back leg. Second to last. Yeah that one." Discord instructed between giggles. "Anyways, what have you got to offer me anyways? You've already foolishly freed me from your ridiculously tiny machines."

GLaDOS whirred, her gears excitingly spinning. "In case you haven't noticed, I possess ground breaking trans-dimensional technology. I also have reason to believe that the authoritative faction on the planet possesses similar technology, but on a greater scale. What I propose is, if you allow me reign over a good portion of civilization, I will research a way to amplify portal technology so that I may send you.." she was cut off.

"Hold on, you do realize that reality itself bends to my whim right? What makes you think I can't return on my own?" Discord retorted.

"Then why don't you return to your world of miniature equines?" she asked as dryly as ever.

"Maybe I will! But I'll be back to show that you're wrong!" Discord pronounced, clicking his talons. Nothing. "Hold on.." he stated, almost nervously. Click! A spark came, but quickly died as nothing came of it. "What's going on?" Discord asked, biting his lip as he focused on his talons in disbelief.

"I've noticed conflicting fields of energy surrounding you. It seems that whatever it is, it's taking a toll on your ability." GLaDOS said, betraying some glee in her voice.

"Uuurgh... Celestia, you witch! Extending your magic through time and space to not only root me but.." Discord growled, contemplating his hands. "You're draining me too! How long until I struggle to do something simple like make it rain chocolate?"

"You do know you're talking to yourself and I can hear everything you're saying right?" GLaDOS commented. Discord looked at her in contempt before menacingly pointing a talon at her.

"Fine, I'll accept your terms so that I may return to my world.. for revenge on that pretentious mare, but I'd best see you working on that portal. Fail my expectations and you'll spend the rest of your existence as a bunch of cans of cat food!" GLaDOS found amusement in the fire that was literally bursting in Discord's eyes. Normally she'd want to extinguish it, but she knew that there was no point in trying to quell Discord's antics.

"Excellent. Let's get to work shall we?" GLaDOS chimed. Honestly, this was going better than she had expected.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Before long GLaDOS had expanded her operations into the territory of what she learned was the 'Combine', an organization of alien beings who had taken over Earth when Black Mesa screwed up their experiments. The thought of such a failure disappointed GLaDOS greatly, to think that Black Mesa had once been a rival. What was left of the Combine's military might (as it had already been crippled by a group of rebels, lead by a man that GLaDOS dismissed as a delusional tale to inspire hope, based off the descriptions of him) could not stand against GLaDOS's combat platform. Striders were ensnared and fallen by the high tension wires she could fire from her legs, missiles were intercepted by her lasers, aerial vehicles grounded by her homing missiles, and soldiers gunned down by her machine guns. She would then interface with their technology and assume direct control. She'd then have technology from the Enrichment Center salvaged and transported to her claimed territory for integration. People caught in her web would be subjected to endless tests in entire landscapes converted into testing chambers. Only a talented few survive to continue testing. None would fill the gap that Chell left.

Discord would claim land at a comfortable distance from Aperture and it's expansion. People in his territory would be subjected to complete chaos. The earth itself constantly moving, the roads replaced with jello, buildings constantly rearranging themselves, and wildlife roaming free singing show-tunes and highly auto-tuned hip hop, much to the chagrin to nearly everyone subjected to it. Those who openly opposed him were soon turned against each other as Discord played mind games. As Combine territory fell, the Advisors, or "smelly wingless butterflies" as Discord would refer to him, took an interest in the draconequus. Despite their losing battle, they took every chance they could to observe and confront Discord, who bested them every time. He wasn't too comfortable with their prying, and often felt that they were contributing to his gradual loss of power. One day however, they just disappeared, not like the rest of the Combine though, who mostly went underground along with the rebels, but actually ceased to have a presence. This was unsettling to Discord at first, but much like his cycle of night and day, it would not hold for long.

With one half of the globe eventually succumbing to complete anarchy, and the other to totalitarian control, it was inevitable that an uprising would brew. The Combine stranded on earth without reinforcements were forced to join the ranks of those that once opposed them. They weren't readily accepted, but desperate times called for desperate measures as exceptional people from around the world congregated to devise a plan to retrieve the freedom that was promised by the first rebel movement years ago. Given the power that the duo of oppressors possessed, there was little hope that they'd succeed, but still they pressed on. Little did they know that tension was brewing between their common foes.