It was a beautiful day in Ponyville, and Mary Sue stood in her castle that overlooked the great city. Perfect marble floors and patterned walls. She smiled to herself, spreading her wings and flying to Ponyville market.
"Why hello, Mary," Rarity stated upon seeing her. "I've already had an awful day!"
"How," Mary asked, raising an eyebrow.
"My mane took forever to comb, and I accidentally used too much milk in my cereal and-and, I...WOKE UP AT 8:06 AND NOT 8:00!" Rarity sobbed.
"Funny, I never had that problem," Mary shrugged. Rarity's eyes became full of hate.
"Of course, you're a PERFECT alicorn, nothing ever goes wrong for you," Rarity grumbled.
"I'm not perfect, nopony is...right," Mary frowned.
"Nopony expect you, think about, recall the worst moment in your life," Rarity asked.
Mary Sue stared at the ground. "I won the lottery and it was only 1,000 bits?"
"Exactly, everything good happens to you, but not to us, it's simply not fair, you've done nothing deserve your good fortune,"Rarity harrumphed and trotted away, head held high.
No way was she right, she couldn't be perfect, she had to have SOME flaw somewhere; a crooked smile or strange attraction to the society of lizard ponies under Canterlot.
Mary Sue spun around to face Twilight's Friendship Castle and bolted inside, it took mere seconds given her perfect wings. Twilight was apparently sorting through her books again, so when Mary crashed through, the books scattered everywhere, thwarting Twilight's progress.
"Twilight! Am I perfect?!" Mary shouted, hovering above the mess. Twilight poked through the sea of books and glared at Mary.
"I was almost done! But to answer your question you are what ponies would say; having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics aka as good as it is possible to be, free from any flaw or defect in condition or quality aka faultless. Or perfect."
"You say nopony is perfect, so how can I be," Mary asked, stomping her hooves on the midair ground.
"I don't know, it blows my mind, but you really are perfect," Twilight's horn glowed as she began to work on ordering her books again.
"Find a flaw in me!" Mary begged.
"Mary, that seem-"
"DO IT!" Mary shouted, mane erupting in flames.
"Ok, ok, umm your breath smells like mint," Twilight offered. Mary made a sour face for a second, seemingly pondering it over, then her face slowly spilled into a smile.
"YES! My breath smells like mint. My breath smells like mint!!" Mary cheered in pride, swirling around and then out the window she came from.
"I'll never understand that mare," Twilight sighed.
Mary skipped throughout Ponyville, chanting, "my breath smells like mint!" Colgate approached her, glaring daggers at her.
"What did you just say?" Colgate asked.
"My breath smells like mint," she said, blowing into Colgate's face.
"MINT, MINT, MINT!!!!!" Colgate suddenly screeched, catapulting herself into the air and doing a 360 spin. Suddenly she exploded, the ground rocking as the bass boosted over 9,000.
"I guess she's triggered," Mary muttered. she turned to face in front of her and saw Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie!"
"Hey, Mary," Pinkie said, bouncing around her, Mary's eyes straining to track her as the party pony circled her.
"Hey Pinkie, do I have a flaw," Mary asked, maybe she would just ask everypony she met.
"Hmm," Pinkie stopped, bouncing in front her. "You do have a knack for putting one too many sprinkles. But that's not a problem, it's a GIFT!"
"A gift, my only flaw is a gift," Mary asked loudly.
"Well, it's not a flaw, to begin with," Pinkie shrugged.
"I'll ask Fluttershy," Mary turned around to walk but realized she had magic, her horn glowed and flashed as she teleported herself to Fluttershy's house.
"Fluttershy!" Mary shouted, pounding on the front door with her right hoof. Sweat beads dripped down her forehead. Fluttershy came to the door, a worried expression on her face. She smiled when she saw Mary though, who wouldn't like a perfect mare like Mary.
"Yes, Mary," she whispered.
"Do I have a flaw," Mary asked.
"Umm, I don't know," Fluttershy squeaked when Mary grabbed her shoulders bringing their muzzle close.
"Do I have a flaw, tell me, tell me, TELL ME!" Mary shouted, spit flying out her mouth.
"You're hurting me!" She cried.
Mary paused, thinking that was her flaw for a second then loosened her grip on Fluttershy, "oh, sorry. But what is my flaw, like, something wrong with me?"
"Well, nothing really, I'd say you're pretty average," Fluttershy looked around, not meeting Mary's eyes.
"But," Mary asked, raising an eyebrow once more.
"You can be, abrasive?" Fluttershy smiled, trying to not offend the white alicorn.
Mary's eye twitched, "abrasive? Really?! ABRASIVE"
"I don't mean it like that," Fluttershy shouted, slamming the door shut.
"I SUMMON FORTH THE POWERS OF A SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR- wait what am I doing," Mary asked coming to her senses. Did it really matter if she had a flaw? Was being perfect that bad, no hangovers, no stepping on legos, always getting the last slice of pizza without asking? That seemed like a life worth living.
"I'm sorry Fluttershy," Mary sighed, leaning her forehead against the wooden door. "I was really mean and that's not how I am." Even her apologies were perfect.
Flutter opened the door all the way, "it's fine, and you really are perfect." Mary Sue's smile vanished, her teeth ground against each other and she calmly turned and trotted away, muttering obscenities to herself.
And so, she ended up back where she started. On her bed, as usual. She huffed, rolling onto her side and staring out the window. "Maybe being perfect won't be so bad, sure you'll never know the joy of messing up, having ponies laugh at your failures, crippling depression overtaking as you desperately grasp for an unattainable standard of living, each breath taking more and more out of you. Must be nice. #Cantrelate."
Mary pulled herself into a sitting position. She levitated a picture closer, it showed her mother Faust creating Equestria. Even Fausticorn had mistakes, like how she made the sky blue for some reason.
"I know my mistake, it's-" Suddenly the closet door slowly opened, creaking quietly as it went. Mary's heart dropped, eyes wide as she pushed herself off the bed and turned around. Soft clip-clops filled the room as she approached the closet door. "Hello..."
"IM IN THE KITCHEN! WANT A SANDWICH," the intruder shouted.
Mary sighed and trotted downstairs. It was Derpy, her mailpony. And in front, her was a nice hay sandwich. "Thanks, Derpy," she reached out to take the sandwich but Derpy smacked her hoof away, grumbling and seemingly saying 'make ur own.'
"Say Derpy, do you think I have a flaw," Mary asked, giving the question one last shot.
Derpy cleared her throat before speaking, sounding just like Morgan Freeman(read in Morgan's voice), "it comes a time in everypony's life when they must ask the burning question of life; are they perfect? But to what extent is perfection? To one it might be health, but to another, it might mean beauty, maybe wisdom. Nopony can definitely say who and who isn't perfect because nopony can definitely say what is perfect. To live to a certain standard is a perfection you strive for, but not a perfection everypony strives to be. You see, Mary, your flaw can be anything you want, and you would never be wrong about IT." Derpy calmly ate the entire sandwich in one bit, burped, then left.
Mary gaped at her eyes wide. "What...da frick...."
Author's Note
count how many times it says perfect
