Fluttershy and the Janitor

School was as uneventful as always. The various members of Fluttershy’s friend group went their separate ways to their first period classes: Rainbow Dash and Applejack to morning woodshop, where numerous jokes would be shared concerning the word “wood”; Rarity to Advanced French Literature, where she would no doubt spend most of her time staring at the young man sitting beside her and his especially fancy pants; and Pinkie Pie went to first period study hall, or, as she called it, “sleepy-time-on-cafeteria-table-look-I’m-what’s-for-lunch class”. No one was sure where Twilight went, because as far as any of them could tell she did not actually take any classes.

Fluttershy’s first period class was geometry. Under normal circumstances, Sunset would have been taking it with her; they usually sat together, with Fluttershy near the window so that she could spend the majority of her time looking out the window at various types of birds.

On this day, though, there were few birds who wanted to come to the window who wanted to come to sing. Fluttershy did not mind, as birds were awfully busy creatures and likely had important jobs to do. She was not quite in the mood for happy songs either. For some reason, her mind kept coming back to the janitor she had met earlier. Her friends had not liked him- -she did not understand why- -but, as much as she did not want to admit it, she had possessed no strong feelings either way.

There had been a look in his eyes, though. She had not recognized it at first, but the more she thought about it, the clearer it became to her. It was the same look that Sunset’s eyes sometimes had when she stared at the statue in the center of the school’s front courtyard, or when she looked out on distant fields of galloping horses. It was a look of terrible loneliness and a special kind of deep sadness that Fluttershy knew she had no way to fully comprehend. Thinking about it, though, made her feel sad too.

This feeling persisted throughout the day. In fact, by the time lunch started to approach it had grown. Fluttershy barely even felt hungry, and could not stop thinking about how sad Discords smile had seemed.

Fluttershy had chemistry lab immediately before lunch on Mondays. Her lab partner, of all people, was Applejack’s younger sister Applebloom, who was apparently as advanced at chemistry as Fluttershy was behind. This, of course, suited Fluttershy well, as she had babysat Applebloom at several points despite the fact that they were only three years different in age.

In this case, Applebloom had taken the lead on the project and was performing it herself. In her distracted state, Fluttershy had let her run the project completely. Applebloom hardly seemed to notice.

“This next reaction,” said the teacher, leaning over her desk and running a hand through her bristly two-tone Mohawk, “if preformed well should smell of fresh cut grass. If done wrong, though, it will smell like a boiled- -”

“Ms. Zecora?” Fluttershy raised her hand. “I don’t feel so well. Is it okay if I go for a walk?”

Zecora looked at her for a moment, and then smiled. “The ventilation is indeed poor in these rooms,” she said. “I believe you may be choking on the fumes.”

“I guess,” liked Fluttershy meekly.

“Then go for a walk, my dear Fluttershy. It would be terrible if I had another student die.”

“What?” said one of the students, looking up for his work.

“Just a little joke,” said Zecora as Fluttershy stood up. “And what will happen to you if your reaction starts to smoke.” Zecora turned to her students. “Now, for this next part, all my best students have ducked. Because if the reagent gets on you, you are totally- -”

Fluttershy closed the door and started walking. Rarity’s sweater felt warm and pleasant against her body, although wearing a sweater without anything under it was indeed a strange feeling. It was something akin to wearing a skirt to school without underwear, which was a thought that literally gave Fluttershy nightmares. Of course, most things gave her nightmares.

So, as she often did, Fluttershy found herself wandering the empty hallways of the school. This was normally looked down upon as it produced a distraction for the other students, but Fluttershy could get away with it because she was remarkably quiet. Also, for some reason, teachers and the ruling pair of principals had difficulty punishing her.

After a few minutes of walking, Fluttershy decided to stop in the bathroom. Normally, she would just wait there and hold court with the silverfish that lived under the sinks. She had named all four hundred eighty six of them the week before, and knowing silverfish there would be a great deal of naming that needed to be done in the near future.

When she reached the bathroom, though, Fluttershy found a set of distinctive yellow signs sitting out front of it, each one marked with the black silhouette image of some poor fool slipping and falling. Those signs always made Fluttershy feel bad for the silhouette man; he just looked so pitiful.

“I guess I’ll have to come back later,” she said to herself.

As she turned, though, the door creaked open and a pair of red eyes stared out from the gap. Fluttershy turned and let out a panicked squeak as a broad smile formed beneath the eyes, with one especially long tooth glimmering in the harsh bathroom-light.

“M- -Mr. Discord,” said Fluttershy, now shaking. Rarity’s words came back to her, and she found herself wondering if she was doing something wrong.

“Mr.?” said Discord, opening the door fully. He laughed heartily. “My dear…what was your name again?”

“Fluttershy.”

“My dear Fluttershy, I’m not a teacher! Which means you and I don’t have any sort of student-teacher relationship that would make things difficult! Discord alone is fine. But Discord with someone like you is even better.”

Fluttershy smiled. “I’m sorry.” She looked past Discord into the bathroom. “What are you doing there?”

“Do you want to come in and see?”

“Oh,” said Fluttershy. “No, I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Get in the way?” Discord laughed again. There was a strange tone in his laughter. “Oh, no, you won’t get in the way at all! In fact…” He rubbed his gloved hands together. “I think there’s something you can help me with.”

“Me?”

“Oh yes! I think a girl like you would be perfect!” He paused, stroking his beard. “I mean, I certainly could do it myself. I usually do, every day at about this time…heh heh…but it would be SO much easier if you could help me with it…”

“Help you with what exactly?” Fluttershy cowered. “It’s not scary, is it?”

“Oh, it might be a little scary at first, but trust me. It’s not nearly so bad once you get used to it.” He gestured toward the door. “Come with me, Fluttershy. And I’ll show you how to do something I’m absolutely positive you’ve never even thought about doing before…”

He retreated into the bathroom. Fluttershy looked around and found that the halls were entirely empty. Everyone was at class. Rarity’s words once again occurred to Fluttershy, and she paused for a moment, but then dismissed them. Discord seemed unusually excited, and Fluttershy did not want to disappoint him. After all, he seemed so nice.

She entered the girl’s bathroom, and the door closed behind her, only to open slightly one last time as a gloved hand put a sign on the front that read “OUT OF ORDER: Do not enter!”.

Almost as soon as Fluttershy had entered, Rarity and Rainbow Dash turned the nearest corner.

“Aww,” groaned Rainbow Dash. “Come on, Rarity! Why do I have to come too! I don’t even need to go!”

“But I do,” said Rarity. “And we are ladies after all. Well, at least I am. And ladies simply do not go to the powder room alone.”

“Powder room? What in the name of Celestia’s shiny butt are you powdering?” Rainbow Dash paused. “On second thought, I’m not sure I want to know.”

“It means ‘restroom’.”

“I just call it the pooper.”

“Ah,” said Rarity, making a look of disgust. “You would.”

Rainbow Dash groaned again. “I’m not going to hold your hand, you know that, right?”

“Nor would I expect you to. That would make this far too awkward.”

“It’s already awkward! And gross! I mean, just because you go around acting like your turds don’t stink doesn’t mean they, you know, don’t.”

Rarity gasped. “Rainbow Dash! Must you be so vulgar? My word!”

“It’s not vulgar. Everyone poops.”

“A proper lady does not,” maintained Rarity. “A proper lady is graceful, beautiful, elegant, and - -EEK!”

Rarity had tripped over one of the wet floor signs outside the bathroom and tumbled onto the linoleum floor.

“Oww! My beautiful perfect white skin! I’ve been bruised!” Rarity rolled over in pain. “Who in their right mind would put wet floor signs outside of the bathroom?!”

“The signs says it’s out of order.” Rainbow Dash pointed at Discord’s sign.

“Out of order! Well then we need to get downstairs fast! It’s already almost noon, and if I don’t get to a toilet quickly, I’ll- -”

“You’ll what?”

Rarity cleared her throat and stood up, dusting herself off. “I’ll…I’ll not be powdered properly.”

The two of them started walking away from the bathroom when a high and feminine voice stopped them.

“D- -Discord!” cried Fluttershy, her voice muffled through the door. “What- -what is that?!”

“Oh, don’t worry,” said Discord in a low voice, chuckling as he did. “I promise I’ll show you how to use it…”

“Is…is it supposed to be that long?”

“Oh, my dear Fluttershy. You’ll be wishing it were longer in a few seconds.” He paused. “Go ahead grab onto it.”

“But I- -I don’t want to…”

“Just do it!”

“Oh- -okay…”

“Yes, yes,” groaned Discord. “See? You’re already a natural! Now start moving it up and down.”

“Like…this?” Fluttershy sounded extremely stressed.

“Oh, yes, just like that! That’s PERFECT!”

“I…I’ve never done this before,” whined Fluttershy. “I don’t know if I want to…”

“Of course, of course. Here. Let me put it in.”

Fluttershy suddenly cried out. “No! Discord, STOP! You can’t! It’s too big, it won’t- -!”

There was a wet sound, and Fluttershy suddenly cried out. “NOO!” she cried.

“Oh YES!” cried Discord. The wet sound happened again and again, producing a repetitive squelching. “There we GO!”

“Discord, stop- -oh my Celestia, this is so GROSS! I can’t- -I can’t- -Please! Please Discord, stop!”

“It’s too late now, Fluttershy! I’m already in! And we’re going until I’m finished!”

“But- -”

“You can just stand there like that if you want, or you can help me!”

“I- -I- -” Fluttershy suddenly groaned loudly, and the sound of wet squelching accelerated.

“That’s it!” cried Discord. “Just like that! YES! It’s almost there! You’re doing perfect!”

There was a sound that sounded something like crying, and unintelligible muffled muttering from Fluttershy.

“Yeah!” cried Discord. “Go down, just like that! Go down! GO DOWN you little- -”

“DISCORD!” cried Fluttershy suddenly. “I don’t know if I can- -OHHH!”

The wet squelching stopped suddenly and without warning. Everything suddenly went quiet, but Rainbow Dash could hear heavy breathing from two individuals on the other side of the door. It augmented her own. She looked over at Rarity, who was standing absolutely dumbfounded and unable to move.

“They…he…they didn’t,” said Rarity.

“I think they just did,” said Rainbow Dash. “I mean, what else could that have been? You heard it to!”

“I would give every jewel I own to unheard it,” moaned Rarity.

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “Me too…” She swore softly. “I mean, in the pooper too!”

“He put it in her- -in her- -” Rarity promptly fainted. Rainbow Dash almost managed to catch her before she flopped onto the floor.

As Rainbow Dash hauled Rarity off, Fluttershy and Discord were standing side by side in the lady’s restroom. Both were indeed breathing hard, and both were sweating profusely. Both of them were also soaked. In her hands, Fluttershy was holding Discords’ toilet plunger. Gingerly, Discord stepped forward. He put one finger on the flush handle of the now freshly unclogged toilet before them and tapped it gently. It roared with life, flushing itself perfectly.

“Perfect,” said Discord, smiling. He clapped. “Bravo, my dear Fluttershy!”

“Was I really that impressive?”

“Oh my, more than impressive! Brilliant! A prodigy, even! Why, I hardly think I could have done a better job myself!”

“It’s only because we worked together to get the job done.”

“I think most of the credit goes to you. You are, indeed, a natural. In fact, you have the potential to be a professional!”

Fluttershy blushed and gave him back the wooden-handled plunger that suddenly felt so natural in her hands whereas before it had felt completely alien. “That may have been the grossest thing I’ve ever done, though. But…oddly satisfying.”

“Ha!” laughed Discord sarcastically. “If you think that was a bad situation, you should see it an hour after Taco Tuesday.” He shuddered violently. “Five times the size. I have nightmares.”

“Well, I’m just glad I could help.”

“So am I.” Discord picked up a mop and began to swab the area around the toilet. “This was certainly a job for two people. If you had not come by, I would have been stuck here all day, and I still have so much to do!”

“I’m happy to help,” said Fluttershy. “But aren’t there more janitors? I mean, you’re not alone, are you?”

Discord sighed, and his eyes took on the distant and sad look that they had held previously. “No, I’m afraid. Budget limitations and all. It’s just me. All alone.” He sighed again, this time more deeply. “But that’s the life of a janitor. That’s how it’s always been. I suppose I should be happy, shouldn’t I? I didn’t always have a job this fancy. Once I was the Choosing Stone mop boy.” Discord shuddered so violently that he nearly spilled his mopwater, or what remained of it after the better half of it had gone onto Fluttershy earlier. “If you think unclogging a high school toilet is bad, you have seen NOTHING like that altar.”

“I can only imagine.”

“Don’t. It’s not something for girls like you to think about. But even then, that wasn’t the worst part.”

“Then what was?”

Discord paused for a long time. “Just…there’s no one to help. But it’s not just the help. Just as a janitor…I don’t know. I guess I’m always alone.” He looked Fluttershy in the eye. “Nobody’s ever helped me before like you just did. Nobody at all.”

“That’s so sad!” cried Fluttershy. “Well, that just isn’t right! If you need help, you need to ask! And me, I’m glad I could help.”

“Really?”

“Really!”

Discord smiled. It was not the fake joking smiles he normally used, but a real one. “Thank you,” he said. Fluttershy saw him blot a tear from one eye. “Oh my, it looks like I got some toilet water in my eye. Dear me.”

“I kind of got it all over me,” said Fluttershy. She sighed. “And this was Rarity’s favorite sweater.”

“Not a problem, not a problem at all!” said Discord. “You can give me your clothes! I’m in charge of the school’s laundry. It’s usually just uniforms and such, but I am an expert in both wet and dry cleaning, and a third kind that I like to keep secret.”

“Oh, but I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s the least I can do! And besides, I simply adore that skirt. It would be a shame if I let the stains sink in. You helped me, so I will help you.”

“That is what friends do.”

Discord’s eyes widened. “F…friends?”

“We just unclogged a toilet together,” said Fluttershy. She laughed. “What else would we be?”

Discord smiled even more widely than before. “I’ve never had a friend before.”

“I’ll leave them at the laundry office and change into my gym clothes,” said Fluttershy. She headed for the door. “And thank you for showing me how to do that! Now I know!”

“You’re certainly welcome, dear Fluttershy!”

“I’ll see you later! I need to change before Rarity’s sweater shrinks!”

“Then hurry like the wind!” Discord waved as Fluttershy left. He watched her go, and smiled to himself. For the first time in a long time, he whistled as he continued to clean the restroom. One of the worst clogs he had seen in the better half of the last year had been averted, and he felt happy for the first time in a long time. Today was a good day, and Fluttershy was indeed a good girl.